The Philadelphia 76ers: The Orlando Magic were without Rashard Lewis, who was suspended for 10 games after testing positive for an elevated level of testosterone (I always knew he was on 'rhoids!), but it hardly mattered. The Sixers had to outscore the Magic 37-22 in the fourth quarter just to make the final score (120-106) look respectable. Philly actually enjoyed a 30-17 advantage in free throw attempts -- on the road no less -- but they missed nine of them, in addition to letting Orlando shoot a blistering 57 percent from the field and 55 from downtown. I guess "hand in the face" is a lost art in the City of Brotherly Love.
Elton Brand: Philly's big free agent acquisition of 2008 was a big splatter of fail last season, but the return of a healthy Brand was supposed to make the Sixers a vastly improved team this season. Har, har. Elton looked just as bad as he did in the games he actually appeared in last year, scoring only 8 points on 2-for-7 shooting to go with 6 boards. For all the bad luck of the Clippers, it now appears that Brand's backstabbing farewell in free agency was actually a good thing.
The Indiana Pacers: Danny Granger (31 points, 10-for-18, 5-for-10 on threes) was brilliant in a double-digit loss. I may have to cut-and-paste that line for 50 or so Pacers games this season.
Best out-of-context picture of the night: This one is still making me laugh, especially the ref's fist pump.
Fun with box scores: RensTheRipper writes: "ESPN are into it already, giving a beautiful double negative 'non-unsportsmanlike technical' to Solomon Jones as he rampaged against his old team. I can't believe he committed a sportsmanlike technical. Thank you ESPN, I can't not non-dislike you for brilliant commentary."
The Cleveland Craboliers: So...the preseason pick for "best team in basketball" is now 0-2 for the first time since the 2004-05 season. But...but...they have the reigning Coach of the Year, the reigning MVP, and the supposed Most Dominant Ever! After getting punked by the Celtics at home in the season opener, the Crabs traveled to Toronto and lost to the Raptors by double-digits despite a 23/11/12 triple-double from King Crab. The Mistake by the Lakers shot a woeful 35 percent from the field despite adding one of the best inside players of all time. Speaking of which...
Shaq: The Big Creaky scored 12 points and grabbed 7 boards. Not exactly MDE material. He also failed to register a block or hit a free throw (0-for-3). Meanwhile, Chris Bosh -- whom the Big Mouth last season referred to as "the RuPaul of Big Men" -- had 21 points and 16 rebounds. Note that Shaq had by far the worst plus-minus score of the night (-25).
More bawful from Shayan of the Raptors blog Mediocre Forever: "What a season opener here in Toronto. I remember reading recently on Basketbawful about a comment from a reader saying how Big Z and Shaq are the slowest front court EVER to grace an NBA floor. And then tonight, I watched Andrea Bargnani, who went bonkers and was unstoppable (actually the referees stopped him with BS fouls forcing him to the bench), run circles around Big Z and the Big Geritol (God I love that nickname). It was like back in elementary school on the playground where everyone's outrunning the fat kid." Jinkies.
The New York Knicks: I thought canning Isiah after the 2007-08 season was supposed to improve the Knicks? If last night's 22-point drubbing -- during which New York shot 38 percent, missed 29 three-pointers, and let their opponent shoot nearly 57 percent -- is any indication, it's going to be a looooong season for Knicks fans. Again. Especially when you consider they have basically no chance whatsoever of landing LeBron next summer. Sorry, but you know it's true.
Nate Robinson: 0-for-8 from the field, 0-for-5 from beyond the arc, 1 point. Remember all the "The Knicks really need to resign Nate Robinson" noise from the offseason? As always, I'm just sayin'.
The Los Angeles Clippers: Can I get a "they are who we thought they were"? Despite playing at home and shooting almost 56 percent from the field, the Clippers lost 109-107 to a Suns team that now has to start Channing Frye at center. The biggest reason The Other L.A. team failed yet again was because they couldn't contain Steve Nash, who scored 15 of his 24 points in the fourth quarter, including the go-ahead layup with five seconds left in the game. The second-biggest reason the Clips lost? Probably the 12 missed free throws (15-for-27).
Fun fact: The run 'n gun Suns had 2 fast break points...for the game.
Steve Nash, quote machine: On his game-winning shot: "I went to the old-white-guy-at-the-YMCA shot and I was lucky to make something happen."
The Memphis Grizzlies: Opening the season at home, the Baby Bears shot 36 percent, bonked nine free throws and got hammered by the Pistons 96-74. And here's a sad little factoid for you: "The Grizzlies set an NBA record with their ninth consecutive season-opening loss, breaking the previous record of eight set by Atlanta from 1999-2006." Historic fail.
Lionel Hollins, inspirational quote machine: Here's what the Memphis coach had to say after his team got drubbed: "It was generally a bad night shooting. [Our players] just have to come down to Earth and realize winning in the NBA is very difficult, and it takes a lot of work and effort. Our young guys were like deer in headlights."
The New Orleans Hornets: It can't feel good to shoot 50 percent as a team and lose by almost 20. But hey, scoring only 13 points in the first quarter can do that to you. Remember how, two seasons ago, the Hornets were the Team of the Future? I guess the future was now for the 2007-08 Hornets. Too bad they didn't know that at the time. But hey, Chris Paul is awesome, so they still have that going for them...which is nice.
Peja Stojakovic: He came off the bench to play only 20 minutes, scoring 4 points on 1-for-2 shooting. Hey, wasn't Peja supposed to be a pretty big cog in the New Orleans machine? Too much whoring around, I guess.
All the teams that didn't draft DeJuan Blair: How in the world did this kid slip to the second round of this year's NBA draft? I was screaming for the Bulls to choose him -- twice -- but hey fell and fell until the Spurs gleefully plucked him out of the pool of dwindling talent at 37. Good call. Last night, Blair played 23 minutes off the bench, scoring 14 points (7-for-10), grabbing 11 boards (5 offensive) and even dishing out 3 assists. Hornets coach Byron Scott called Blair a "monster" and added: "You know, a 6-5, 6-6 center who comes in and plays 22 minutes and gets 14-11 is pretty impressive," Scott said. "Especially for a rookie."
"Nobody can go 82-0" is the new early-season excuse: I heard or read this about a dozen times the last few days after season-opening losses: well, teams can't go 82-0, so losing is kinda-sorta okay. Eh?! The latest of these quotes comes from Chris Paul, who said, "We hoped to go 82-0, but we knew it wasn't too feasible."
The New Jersey Nets: Dear God, this team sucks. They were bad last season with Vince Carter...and replacing him with Courtney Lee didn't exactly cause a spike in their talent level. And so it's not shocking that they opened the season by losing to a lowly Timberwolves team that wasted the fifth pick in this year's NBA draft on a kid who's probably never going to play for them and had to squeeze 20 minutes out of Brian "How In The Hell Is This Guy Still In The League" Cardinal (who actually had 7 points on 3-for-4 shooting to go with 4 boards, an assist and a steal). Mind you, Minnesota shot only 36 percent from the floor and went only 1-for-7 from the Land of Three. Of course, New Jersey was 0-for-8 from downtown, so I guess long-distance shooting was a bit of a wash.
The Nets might have won if they hadn't given up 18 offensive boards and committed 22 turnovers for 24 points going the other way. Brook Lopez -- who had 27 points, 15 rebounds and 4 blocks for the Nets -- said: "We just got kind of careless with the ball. I definitely did. I turned the ball over three or four times. The last little span ended up costing us the game, obviously."
Fun fact that's not all that surprising: The Nets haven't won a game in Minnesota since November 23, 2002.
Fun fact that may cause milk to shoot out your nose (if you're drinking any): Get this: "The Timberwolves finished the game on a 24-6 run and are now 9-2 in their last 11 season openers. They're also 11-2 all-time in season openers played at home, the best such record in the NBA." Who knew?! If only opening night was every night for the poor T-Wolves.
Rafer Alston: This dude was so stoked last year when he got traded to the Magic. Well, if last night's box score is any indication, he's much less stoked to be playing for the Nets. Alston logged 23 minutes and finished with 3 assists, 3 turnovers and zero points on 0-for-2 shooting. I hereby dub him "Skip 2 My Gak."
Update! The Minnesota starting frontcourt: From NarSARSsist: "Bawful -- I think some praise is much deserved for the Minnesota starting front line. Not only did Al Jefferson and Ryan Gomes combine for 19 points (5-for-20) and only 8 boards with 7 fouls, they also managed to get outrebounded by every small T-Wolf except Sasha Pavlovic. In addition, they even made Man Chair...errr Chairman Yi look good with 17 points and 12 rebounds." Praise given.
The Charlotte Bobcats: The runner up (to the Clippers) for last night's "They Are Who We Thought They Were" award. I would say that the Bobcats travelled to Boston for a historic defeat, but I'm not sure any of the Charlotte players actually, you know, showed up. Let's go ahead and call 'em the Charlotte Body Doubles okay? Alrighty then, so the Body Doubles shot 31 percent from the field, got blanked from downtown (0-for-10), missed 12 free throws (13-for-25) and committed 21 turnovers (which the Celtics transfigured into 24 points). By the end of the night, the BDs had scored only 59 points. Not only was that a franchise low for one game, it was the lowest point total for an opener in NBA history since the advent of the shot clock (1954-55). Guh. I think that just made all the milk in Charlotte curdle.
Larry Brown, quote machine: When asked whether he'd ever coached a team that scored in the 50s, Brown said: "I don't known if they call that coaching. Our team wasn't prepared. Weren't ready to play. That's nobody's fault but the coach." Those are nice sentiments, and it's sweet that he would try to cover his players' asses, but you don't coach height, and Tyson Chandler -- who's supposed to be pretty close to seven feet tall -- went 0-for-5 and didn't score. (It sure is harder to dump in points when Chris Paul isn't feeding you alley-oops, eh, Tyson? I can tell you this much: his performance last night probably earned Chicago Bulls management a huge sigh of relief. "See," John Paxson must have been thinking, "we were right to get rid of that guy way back when.")
Also, fellow starters Gerald Wallace (3-for-9), Boris Diaw (3-for-7), Stephen Graham (2-for-11) and Raymond Felton (3-for-11) all shot like hell and combined for 14 turnovers and only 5 assists (2 for Diaw and 3 for Felton). Their combined plus-minus score was -120. Seriously.
Brian Scalabrine: Veal earned a DNP-CD in a 33-point blowout? Really?! And remember: the Celtics are already down one member of their frontcourt rotation (Big Baby). Can somebody explain why the guy who got several starts when Kevin Garnett went down last season can't even get off the bench in garbage time? I mean, garbage time is Scalabrine Time, baby! I mean, right? Not last night, it wasn't. Update! My bad. Apparently, he's hurt.
Update! Tommy Heinsohn: An anonymous commenter said: "I think Tommy Heinsohn should get a mention for WotN. During a loose ball, Kevin Garnett landed on Raymond Felton's head, opening up a pretty nasty cut on his lip, which required 15 stitches. While Felton was laying on the ground motionless covering his face, Heinsohn was yelling, "That should be a three second violation on Felton!" It's funny in retrospect being Felton wasn't seriously injured, but I think Tommy finally crossed the line last night that separated passionate home announcer and sociopath." The only thing I can say here -- and it's not really a defense of Tommy -- is that Heinsohn crossed the line into sociopathy yeeeeeeears ago.
Stephen Jackson, "he just doesn't get it" quote machine: After dissing his team and demanding a trade during the offseason, Captain Jack was met with boos in the Warriors' home opener. Said Jax: "It is what it is. I don't expect everybody to love me. I heard it but I didn’t let it affect my game at all. To each his own. I've been booed many times. This isn't the first time." And, uh, doesn't that sorta tell you something, Cap?
The Official Lacktion Report by Chris: Not everybody can get a little action, but plenty of NBAers can get a little lacktion...
Crabs-Raptors: While Tarence Kinsey's crawling has been sorely missed on the shores of Lake Erie, Toronto's human victory cigar Marcus Banks admired a Power Glove for 25 seconds to accrue a Mario.
Knicks-Heat: New York's Jordan Hill climbed a brick wall in 1:45 on his way to a suck differential of +1 via missed shot.
Kings-Thunder: Donte Greene of the Kings averaged one miscue a minute - a brick, giveaway, and foul - for +3 in 3:37.
Suns-Clippers: Steve Novak turned the dial all the way to eleven on Guitar Hero for his Wii, pounding out 11 seconds of rhythm in his first Mario of the year.
Jazz-Nuggets: Jerry Sloan may never win Coach of the Year, due to his smart usage of a staff of lacktators. With Kyrylo Fesenko slumping into usefulness, Sloan quickly assembled a trio of time-wasters to warm the bench for the new season, starting with Wesley Matthews, who was crushed with youthful disappointment through a brick and block in 5:12 that resulted in a +2. The Jazz's 2009 first rounder, Eric Maynor, became the first baller to earn an interview with Robin Leach, after taking home a 2.85 trillion fortune. Finally, the ever-unmemorable Kosta Koufos spun into a brick in just 45 seconds, leading to a Mario AND a +1!
Labels: Boston Celtics, Cleveland Cavaliers, Elton Brand, I can't believe so many teams passed on DeJuan Blair, Los Angeles Clippers, Memphis Grizzlies, New Orleans Hornets, Philadelphia 76ers, Shaq
Editor's note: Since the lacktion reports have been increasing in popularity and awesomeness, they will now be getting their own posts...until our lacktion reporter gets tired of doing them.
Sixers-Hornets: Marreese Speights, the Sixers' most recent first round draft pick, has been productive in recent stints. However, since Elton Brand's recovery, the Sixers have been bent on including the ex-Clipper deadweight on the court to slow down the game and make it easier for other teams to grab victory off of the Comcast Turtles' Conveyor Belt of Fail. (Anyone who has seen one of those annoying commercials will know this reference all too well.)
So with Brand firmly re-inserted into the lineup as the human jaws of defeat, Speights had to change his focus from contributing to the uptempo offense during Elton's absence to earning notability through the lacktion writeup. Two fouls and 3:02 later, he proudly achieved a +2, which involved much less masonry than Elton's statline (three missed shots, compounded by two turnovers!).
Sadly, in this case, lacktion was much more of a positive contribution than a Big Free Agent Signing's start.
Update! Wow. Immediately after Marreese Speights had his first taste of lacktion for 2009, Bill Simmons goes out and declares him underrated, putting him in the same company as Millsap, Durant and...Manny Ramirez? Huh?
Blazers-Clippers: Channing Frye served as Portland's human victory cigar against The Team That Is Who We Thought It Was, scoring a beautiful 1.9 trillion at Staples Center in the midst of a 25-point win. Conversely, Mike Dunleavy's squad of castoffs all demonstrated why they are not on professionally-operated basketball teams, as three bench jockeys managed to ruin exemplary runs of coldness with insignificant contributions.
Jason Hart trashed an eight-minute run of one foul by tossing the ball to a scoring teammate for an exasperating assist, while Ricky Davis let a missed shot land onto his palms for a brick-and-foul negating rebound, the same problem Cheikh Samb had. Samb (the focal point of the Iverson/Billups trade -- at least for lacktion enthusiasts) bungled a two-brick non-performance in nearly five minutes with the aforementioned board.
And now up on Deadspin: Cheikh Samb gets posterized!
About the author: Chris is a Sacramento resident and Bay Area native who is surrounded by all forms of bawful, from The Oracle to Arco Arena (or whatever barn the Maloofs can milk the most profit from in the near future). After all, when you live in a town in which an ex-trillionare champion (John Salmons) is the home team's starter, is there much to be expected on the positive front? No. So Chris has made it his goal to become the Bill James or Hubie Brown of lacktivity, seeing how abundant it has become in Northern California. Outside of his life as a lacktion statistician, he follows a random collection of other sports (auto racing, ice hockey, snooker, boxing)...
Labels: Channing Frye, Cheikh Samb, Comcast Turtles, Elton Brand, guest author, lacktion report, Los Angeles Clippers, Marreese Speights, Mike Dunleavy Sr., Philadelphia 76ers, Portland Trail Blazers
The Washington Generals: Henry Abbott was saying yesterday that there are three tiers of teams in the East: The Celtics, Craboilers and Magic are at the top, every other team in the East except Washington is in the middle, and the Wizards are alone on their own tier at the bottom. And last night's game was a prime example of why this is. For starters, the Wizards allowed Shaq to finish with a game-high 29 points despite it being the second night of a back-to-back for The Big Contract. Apparently Phoenix is beginning to realize they're in danger of missing the playoffs this year, so it looks like Shaq being able to take games off is no longer part of the game plan. On top of letting Shaq eat them up, after trailing by only two at home entering the fourth quarter, the Wiz made only 6 field goals the rest of the way, letting Phoenix outscore them 28-14 to finish out the game. The loss combined with the Thunder's win (see below) made them, officially, the worst team in the NBA. But, to be fair, you can't be expected to win many games when your starting point guard is...
Mike James: 36 minutes, 4 assists, 3 turnovers, zero points. Either Terry Porter's supposed commitment to D has turned Steve Nash into a defensive juggernaut, or Mike James is who we thought he was. I'm not sensing much seller's remorse from New Orleans on the trade they made to unload him awhile back.
The Big Cactus and Tough Juice Man Love: You just have to kiss a head that cute.
The Atlanta Hawks: Fresh off losing to the Suns the previous night, the Dirty Birds came out and laid an egg in Miami, trailing for all but 23 seconds of last night's game. After Marvin Williams hit a three-point shot to give the Hawks their only lead at 12-11 with 6 minutes to go in the first, Atlanta didn't hit another field goal till only 4:30 remained in the half, a span of over 13 minutes. That kind of futility can lead to some record lows, and that's exactly what happened last night as the Hawks set a franchise record for fewest first-half points with 27.
Mike Bibby: Apparently trying to one-up Mike James for Worst PG of the Night honors, Bibby put up a truly awful stat line for a point guard: 32 minutes, 5 turnovers, no assists, 2 points. And to think there's been minor rumblings about Bibby deserving an All-Star spot this year.
Joe Johnson, quote machine: "We just weren't playing hard." You know what? He's right. Here's a tip: Next game, try playing hard. I guarantee you'll give your team a better chance of success if you do.
The Houston Rockets: Yao missed his second straight game with a knee injury, thus depriving Nate Robinson of another chance to block one of his shots, so the Rockets were forced to play sans center yet again. Against a team like the Knicks that wants to do everything they can to lure you into a game of high-speed small ball, losing the one guy on your team who's taller than 6'9 can be a dangerous proposition (I know Mutombo is taller than 6'9, but he received a DNP-CD, most likely because he's roughly mummy age). Houston is a team that normally shoots fewer than 20 three-pointers per game, but last night they fell under D'Antoni's spell, firing up 33 shots from deep, bricking all but 10. The blame for this falls pretty squarely on...
Ron Artest, Rafer Alston and Tracy McGrady: Crazy Pills, Skip to my Lou and Knee-Mac fell right into the Knicks' trap and got suckered into bombing away, finishing the night a combined 5-22 from distance. The trigger-happy Knicks as a team only attempted 21 threes (hitting 6). I wonder if Kenny Smith is rethinking his prediction that Houston will win it all this year?
The Milwaukee
Richard Jefferson: With Bogut out for the 7th straight game with back spasms and now with Redd out for the season with a torn ACL and MCL, Richard Jefferson is the lone Milwaukee player with a contract worth over $10m a year; but you wouldn't know it based on last night's game: 3-for-15 shooting (including 0-5 from beyond the arc) for 10 points in 34 minutes won't get it done. If the Bucks wanted that kind of production, they wouldn't have traded away Yi Jianlian.
The "Brand new" 76ers: Elton Brand made his return to the 76ers last night in New Orleans, and Philly responded by posting their lowest point total in three weeks. Brand was limited to zero points on three shots in 18 minutes of play, despite New Orleans missing both Tyson Chandler and David West. The 76er defense allowed New Orleans to shoot 14-31 from downtown, including a four-minute span from the end of the third quarter till early in the fourth when the Hornets hit 6 threes to push the lead from 3 to 16. Philly was clearly not learning by watching either, shooting only 2-14 from deep themselves.
The New Jersey Nets: This game was nowhere near as close as the 9-point margin would lead you to believe, as the Nets got their butts kicked up and down the floor for the first 40 minutes of the game, trailing by 28 with 7 minutes to play. Only a furious rally by New Jersey made the game look somewhat respectable, but you know it's bad when you outscore the opposition by 19 in the 4th quarter and still lose by 9. P.S. THEY WERE PLAYING THE THUNDER.
Vince Carter and Devin Harris: You might think a torrid New Jersey comeback would be fueled by the Nets' two All-Star hopefuls, but if you did you'd be wrong. Nope, neither of these players were even on the floor in the fourth quarter, with Lawrence Frank having long pulled the plug on this one (and who can blame him, down 28 to start the final 12 minutes). Being yanked early isn't why these two are being mentioned here though. No, it's because they combined to shoot 6--for-29 for 18 total points. That and the fact that they were -18 (Vince) and -25 (Devin) for the night, while Trenton Hassell, Chris Douglas-Roberts and Maurice Ager were +19, +21 and +11 off the bench, respectively.
Klahoma City fans: Their team stinks all year, and when they finally put on a clinic to become only the second-worst team in pro ball, a mere 5,000 people were there to see it due to bad weather. That faint sound you hear in the distance is the basketball fans in Seattle cursing in unison.
The L.A. Clippers: As always, the Clips were missing their four best players (Baron Davis, Marcus Camby, Zach Randolph and Chris Kaman), as well as Mardy Collins (strained left calf) and Mike Taylor (broken thumb), but on the plus side, at least Brian Skinner seems to have recovered from the flu-like symptoms that kept him out of L.A.'s last game, so they had that going for them, which is nice. Nevertheless, the Clips at home had the game all tied up with less than 13 minutes go to before the wheels came off. Maybe with that patched-together group that Mike Dunleavy, Sr. had to throw out on the floor, 35 minutes of quality ball is all one can expect. Too bad the remaining 13 minutes were so miserable as the Blazers finished the game on a 42-17 run.
Ricky Davis: Looking through the Clipper lineup, it's tough to find too much fault with many of those guys. Most are rookies,second-year guys or fringe journeymen like Cheikh Samb. But not Ricky Davis. No, Ricky Davis is a basketball name that will live in infamy, and this game didn't help to clear any of the mud off his name. That he had no points on one missed shot with one turnover and one rebound are somewhat excusable since he only played six minutes. What can't be excused is that he only was able to get six minutes of playing time on such a depleted roster. In fact, outside of Steve Novak, the whole Clipper bench only played 19 minutes. Which brings us to...
Mike Dunleavy, Sr.: Hey Mike, if you're wondering why your team got outscored by 25 points in the last 13 minutes of the game, maybe it's because they were on the second night of a back-to-back and you decided to only go with a six-man rotation. Mike D'Antoni even thinks you didn't use your bench enough last night. Did you really need to give Eric Gordon and Fred Jones, a 20-year old rookie and a guy the clippers waived and then resigned three days later to a 10-day contract, 41 and 43 minutes last night? Surely Ricky Davis and Jason Hart could have contributed more than 14 combined minutes tonight, right?
The Portland Trailblazers: Shame on them for letting such a woefully understaffed Clipper team hang with them for 35 minutes!
NBA Marketing Geniuses: The NBA's online store is selling a Laker T-shirt in Celtic green, complete with a three-leaf clover on the sleeve. Who is more likely to want to own this: Laker fans or Celtic fans? Would fans of either team wear it? Who are the ad wizards who came up with this one?
Kobe Byrant: Lord Mamba snuck into Luke Walton's house and short-sheeted his bed, then waited till Luke fell asleep and placed his hand in a bowl of warm water.Update! Bonus Bawful: Here's some other Bawful tidbits from ESPN today:
- Ron Artest made only one of his 10 three-point field-goal attempts in Houston's loss to the Knicks on Monday night. It was only the third time this season than an NBA player took at least 10 shots from beyond the arc and made no more than one.
- The Rockets led the Knicks 80-74 at the end of the third quarter on Monday night, but New York rallied to win, 104-98. The Knicks had been 0-21 this season in games in which they trailed heading into the fourth quarter. Prior to Monday night they were the only team in the league that had not won a game in which it was behind entering the final period.
- Minnesota defeated Milwaukee 90-83 on Monday night, overcoming a rough night for Sebastian Telfair, who was 3-for-13 (.231) from the field, with six turnovers. Only one other player in Timberwolves history had such a low field-goal percentage (min: 10 FGA) and at least that many turnovers in one game. That was Christian Laettner, who was 2-for-13 (.154), with six turnovers in a loss at Orlando in April 1994.
- Also, apparently Dwyane Wade is taking up two starting spots in the All Star Game.
About the author: Wild Yams is a frequent reader of Basketbawful and many other basketball blogs, and is just as much a pain in the ass here as he is on those other sites. Like LeBron James, he likes to refer to himself in the third person, but unlike LeBron James, he has not mastered the crab dribble.
Labels: Atlanta Hawks, Elton Brand, guest author, Houston Rockets, Mike Bibby, Mike James, Milwaukee Bucks, New Jersey Nets, Philadelphia 76ers, Washington Wizards, Worst of the Night
Thanks to Sturla for providing today's top picture.
Elton Brand: His addition to the Philadelphia 76ers was supposed to transform them from plucky overachievers/up-and-comers to Eastern Powerhouse and potentially The Team to challenge Boston for conference supremacy. Yeah. That didn't work out so well. And the day after his injury, this is what I had to say: "Now, here's a little theory I have. Let's assume Brand misses, say, a month. You just watch. Philly will start fast breaking again -- which was their bread and butter last season -- and go on a little mini-streak in Brand's absence. Seriously."
Then they struggled through that 1-5 road trip and I felt like an idiot. Well, turns out it just took the team some time to adjust. But now they're running again and knocking down their threes -- including a season-high 11 of them against the Blazers -- and, wouldn't you know, they're on a season-best five-game non-losing streak. And the streak has included three victories against winning teams (Houston, Atlanta and Portland). So the evidence is right there in front of us: The Sixers play better and with more confidence minus Brand. Seriously, there were some grumpy mugs on that team up until they sped things up and Brand's shots got redistributed. Now, everybody's so darn happy again. Just ask Andre Iguodala: "Guys are just playing with a lot of confidence right now. We feel like we can make any shot. We're shooting with a rhythm, we're shooting with confidence, and more than likely, it's going to go in." Translation: "We don't have to walk it up the court and force-feed Brand anymore...and he's not really a 20-10 guy anymore anyway. Running and shooting is brought us success last year. Not a clunky halfcourt game." It'll be interesting to see how they'll work Elton back into the mix, and whether he'll be able to accept a lesser role in an offense that's running more and operating in the half court less.
The Portland Trail Blazers: They were down 16 after one quarter, 22 at halftime, and despite a 10-0 third-quarter run, they ended up losing by 21. That cost them the chance to move 10 games above .500 for the first time since 2002-03. Hopefully Darius Miles will play his 10th game soon so they can put that distraction behind them. [drips sarcasm]
The Detroit Pistons: One night after failing to close out a game against the Bobcats (15-24), th Pistons failed to close out a game against the Pacers (14-25). Okay, hold on. I have to throw up in my mouth a little because Charlotte has a better record than Indy. BLOARGH! Okay. I'm done. Anyway, just add "back-to-back losses to teams that are hovering around 10 games below .500" to the list of Reasons Why The Allen Iverson Trade Destroyed The Pistons. (And I only mean that the trade killed their chances to contend for the Eastern Conference crown. They're still 22-15. Just not a scary 22-15.) Rodney Stuckey, who had a game-high 30 points on 12-for-20 shooting, said: "We've got to finish game. That's pretty much it. We're kicking ourselves in the butt. We keep losing games like this, it's going to hurt us at the end of the season. Hopefully, we can figure it out and get it turned around."
Danny Granger: The Pacers might have put the Pistons away a little earlier had it not been for Danny's 6-for-20 shooting. In fact, I was positively cringing Granger was setting up the shot that sent the game to overtime. It was definitely one of those "NO, NO, NO...YES!" shots for me. Which was a good feeling, since the Pacers have typically had "NO, NO, NO...NO!" fourth quarters this season.
The Toronto Raptors: In the titanic
Big Shot Larry: Look who earned himself a DNP-CD last night. So, in the wake of his complaints about PT, Hughes has played seven minutes and zero minutes in back-to-back games. And here's what Bulls coach Vinny D had to say when asked about the situation after the game: "We'll figure it out as we go. Kirk will be out there. He takes pressure off Derrick [Rose] and puts defensive pressure on the ball. And we always get leadership." Notice the conspicuous lack of the words "Larry" and "Hughes" in Vinny's response? Yeah, me too.
Chris Bosh: He had a chance to tie the game with under 10 seconds left but, instead, all he got was an outpatient ego-ectomy from Dr. Joakim Noah. Yeah. Start watching at the 1:50 mark.
The Washington
In other news, Nick Young scored 33 points for Washington, setting a new career high for the third time in four games. Why, exactly, aren't they starting this guy? Do they just enjoy losing that much? And one last epithet: The Wizzers are now tied with the Thunder in wins with 7. But more on that below...
The New Jersey Nets: They shot 38 percent, committed 19 turnovers and got blown out in Boston by 32 points. Said Nets coach Lawrence Frank: "They kicked us real good." That's not strong enough an analogy. Better to say, I think, that: "They kidnapped us, tortured us, and kept us locked up in a hole like the Gimp in Pulp Fiction." Okay. Fixed.
Paul Pierce, justification machine: Regarding Boston's "resurgence" against the Raptors and Nets after their 2-7 slump: "I thought we had a really big bump in the road these last couple of weeks with consistency, something we didn't have a year ago. Maybe it's something we needed to give us a gut check. When you go through something like that, you really find out what kind of team you are." You mean, like, not as talented or as deep as last season and suddenly a few steps behind the Cavaliers, Lakers and Magic in the race for this year's league title? That kind of team?
The Utah Jazz: This is the kind of travesty that the phrase "I'll be cow-kicked and hornswoggled" was invented for. As well as several other foul four-letter words I won't type out right now. A 21-point loss to the Klahma City Thunder?! I wouldn't be surprised to hear John Stockton dropped dead after he heard about his most shameful of losses. Heck, even Felton Spencer was probably embarrassed. And so was Deron Williams: "They outhustled us, they outrebounded us. We just didn't play tough at all." Think the Jazz missed Paul Milsap, who was out (again) with a bruised right knee? Put it this way: Nenad Krstic had 14 points and 11 boards. I guess Mehmet Okur isn't much of a frontcourt stopper. Speaking of which...
Mehmet Okur: After he scored his career-high 43 points against the defenseless Pacers, BadDave emailed me to say: "Okur blew his wad...for his career." His words seem pretty prophetic after Mehmet's follow-up against the Thunder: 9 points on 3-for-12 shooting.
The Klahma City Thunder: How can I tag them with WotN honors after they clobbered the Jazz? Because of something Dan L. wrote in to say: "The team that used to be the Sonics actually beat the Jazz last night, but the ESPN headline about that game read: 'Three reach 20's as lousy Thunder thump Jazz.' They are so bad that even when they win by 21 they're still called lousy." Yup. Ouch.
Dwyane Wade: The Heat won, yes, but I could hardly overlook his 17 points on 5-for-20 shooting, could I? But there's a reason! Just ask Pookie. He'll tell you. "Every shot I shot they hit me on my arm. That's why my shots were short." Awh. That gives me sad face, Dwyane. On the bright side, Wade had only 4 turnovers, so that's something. He continues to lead the league in that category, by the way.
Mario Chalmers: Did he accidentally drop his game in the toilet or something? The kid is falling off the map and out of Erik Spoelstra's rotation. He's 1-for-13 in his last three games and has scored zero, 4 and zero points. And he played less than 10 minutes in the two zero-point outings.
The Dallas Mavericks: Oh, hey, look. They lost at home to a better team. That's a surprise. And Jason Kidd's 7/7/7 line looked pretty feeble next to Chris Paul's triple-double (33 points, 10 rebounds, 11 assists...plus 7 steals!!). According to Mavs coach Rick Carlisle: "We just didn't play as good as a game that we needed to play." That's some pretty succinct insight, coach. Thanks.
DeSagana Diop: I haven't beaten this dead horse in a while, but some days you wake up cranky and just want to beat a dead horse. So here goes. I noticed that Diop earned himself a DNP-CD last night. It was his third in the last five games. On the season, Diop has scored 56 points and committed 55 personal fouls. He's averaging 3.5 rebounds and has accumulated only 25 blocks. Think Mark Cuban regrets signing DeSagana to that five-year, $32 million contract over the summer? Don't worry. It's just one of the many regrets he should have regarding his mismanagement of the Mavs over the last several years.
David Guthrie, Michael Smith, Sean Corbin: Much as it pains me to defend the Lakers, they got hosed by the officials twice in the final 12 seconds of the fourth quarter last night...which kind of sucks because it really detracted from a very exciting and well-played game. First, Roger Mason drew foul on Derek Fisher on what I like to call the Jump Flop, that move (invented by World B. Free and perfected by Reggie Miller) where a jump shooter kicks out his legs and flails during the shot. Fisher clearly tried to evade contact but got tagged with the foul anyway. Mason dropped the free throw to give the Spurs a one-point lead. Then, on the Lakers' final possession, Trevor Ariza got called for a travel after taking only two steps. Plus, it sure looked like he got tripped up a little. Go ahead and take a gander at both plays.
Now, the Ariza play might not have mattered all that much since he missed the shot and the clock would have expired during the ensuing battle for the rebound. But Mason's three-point play turned out to be the game-winner. If the ref hadn't fallen for his Jump Flop, then AT WORST (for the Lakers)the game goes to overtime. Big win for the Spurs, but it doesn't exactly convince me that I'm wrong to say they aren't a true contender anymore. I mean, L.A. was playing the second of back-to-back games with a bench shortened by injuries. I'm just sayin'.
The Los Angeles Clippers: Hey, look, the Clippers lost by 17 at home. We all know who they are.
The Golden State Warriors: They dropped a triple-overtime decision to a Kings team that, coming into the game, was stuck on nine wins. Home court fail.
Yahoo! box scores: According to the box score from the Kings-Warriors game, Jamal Crawford had a Super Mario. All I can say is: Wow...35 points in six seconds? Without doing any research whatsoever, I have to say that's the most efficient performance in NBA history. Thanks to Panki for sending in this graphic:
Lacktion report: Via Chris, who I think has become the official Basketbawful intern:
Blazers-Sixers: Ike Diogu earned a solid two trillion jackpot for Portland, while Philadelphia's Kareem Rush was a +1 (brick) in 2:38.Kobe Bryant: After the game, Kobe turned to Luke Walton and said, "Hey kid, sorry I've been so hard on you lately. Wanna go out, maybe get a beer, just kinda get to know each other better?" Luke, taken aback, said: "Really?" To which Mamba replied with a sneer, "Hell no, not really. How could you have possibly thought I was being serious? Jesus." Then Kobe walked away shaking his head. The he came back a few minutes later, looked Luke right in the eyes and said, "You really thought I was serious?" Then he walked away again, looking even more disgusted.
Bulls-Raptors: Jake Voskuhl is once again the Craptors' repeat offender for the lacktion report, turning the ball over once and taking a foul for +2 in a 2:42 nonperformance.
Wizards-Knicks: One foul and a missed three turned a potential Mario for Washington's Oleksiy Petrov into a 38 second session of suck at +2.
Heat-Bucks: Yakhouba Diawara continues to log lacktion for the Heat, taking a foul and throwing three bricks from downtown for +4 in 7:21. With 30 seconds to go in the game - in a game Miami was only leading by TWO POINTS, mind you - he entered the game again to relieve Chris Quinn, presumably to increase his total duration of on-court catatonia. And in a bizarre exchange of bench jockeys, Diawara went back to the pine with 16.4 remaining for Quinn to return, only for the two to switch off again with 14.7 ticks on the clock left (in the middle of two D-Wade free throws). That wasn't the end of it though, as Diawara went back to the bench with 9.8 seconds remaining, after a timeout. Oh, and Yakhouba's teammate Mario Chalmers put in a surprisingly unimpressive near-lacktion sequence as a starting guard: one rebound barely provided a positive effect on the scoreboard, with a brick, foul, and three giveaways littering a nine and a half minute run of fail.
Jazz-Thunder: In a shocker, the Klahoma (one O!) City Thunder thwacked the Jazz around, 114-93. Morris Almond and Jarron Collins played the role of sucky siblings for the night, each giving Utah a +1 in 2:07 of concurrent pointlessness (Almond via a missed shot, and Collins via turnover).
Hornets-Mavs: Hilton Armstrong turned the ball over once and fouled twice for New Orleans, a +3 SD in 4:16.
Lakers-Spurs: The world of lacktion does not revolve around Sun Yue, and in 1:21 of floor time, he showed why by breaking up a potential trillion with one annoyingly positive contribution (a steal). However, in one of the bigger names to show up in the lacktion report so far, Bruce Bowen missed from downtown and fouled twice for +3 in 6:04!
Labels: Dallas Mavericks, DeSagana Diop, Elton Brand, Los Angeles Clippers, Mario Chalmers, New Jersey Nets, officiating, Paul Pierce, Utah Jazz, Washington Wizards, Worst of the Night
First, a few belated WotNs...
Amare Stoudemire: From Basketbawful reader Josh: "I was at the Pacers/Suns game when Amare went off for 49. However, Amare, as well as everyone else at the game, believed that he had scored 51, breaking the 50-point barrier along with his career high of 50. This is because the giant player statistics screen at Conseco Fieldhouse showed that Amare had scored 51. At this point, Amare began passing every time he got the ball, seemingly going for a triple-double. He had to be a little disappointed when he go to the locker room and was told that he didn't break 50."
Stat padding? From a guy who once nicknamed himself STAT?! Never! After the game, Sun Tzu said: "You guys here in Indiana cheated me." Now, supposedly he made the comment jokingly, but I'm guessing his laughter was about as sincere as McCain's concession speech.
Steve Blake: Yesterday, Basketbawful reader Austen left the following comment: "Heh, I'm surprised you didn't note that funny moment during the Jazz-Blazers game where one of the players was trying to catch an inbound pass and stuck his right foot out behind him...into Brevin Knight's crotch area. Knight decided to clamp his knees together, so hilarity ensued when that player tried to run in a different direction to catch the inbounds pass. They ended up having to rush the inbound passer back inbonds after the pass just to keep the play going." Austen later added: "It was Blazers player [Steve] Blake who stuck his foot out into Brevin Knight's man region, and got caught with his foot in the cookie jar at 5:19 in the 4th quarter of last night's game." And here's the pictorial evidence:
Elton Brand: Shortly after the Philadelphia 76ers signed Brand to that $80 million contract last summer, Elton said: "I'm prepared to do some big things this year." Last night, those "big things" included scoring 6 points on 3-for-8 shooting in 35 minutes. Brand has been in an offensive slump so far this season. He's scored 20+ points and hit at least half of his shots only once, and it's no coincidence that it happened against the Knicks and Mike D'Antoni's "We play defense for :07 seconds or less" system. Now, mind you, it's not Brand's fault. Part of the reason for his struggles are the fault of...
The Philadelphia 76ers' offense: The Sixers, as a team, are shooting 44 percent as a team this season. And that number would be far worse if the Sixers hadn't hit 60 percent of their shots against both the Knicks and the Kings...two utterly defenseless teams. Philly shot 34 percent in their season opener against Toronto, 41 percent at Atlanta, 37 percent versus Miami and 38 percent last night against Orlando. Right now, the team's spacing is horrible. Brand is getting harrassed by double-teams and nobody seems to know where to position themselves for the kickout. When you have a dominant low post player, you have to provide him with passing angles and capable shooters. Right now, Brand is getting neither.
Andre Miller: I guess he's been watching too much Derrick Rose. Last night, Miller took 24 shots -- and hit only 7 of them -- while dishing for only 2 assists. That's six more shot attempts than the next closest guy (Thaddeus Young was 7-for-18), and 12 more shots than the guy after that (Andre Iguodala was 4-for-12). As I've said before, a 10-to-1 ratio of shots-to-assists is not what you want from your starting point guard.
Dwight Howard: He was limited to only four first-half minutes due to foul trouble and still finished with 14 points, 8 rebounds and 3 blocked shots. And 7 of those points and 2 of the blocks came during the fourth quarter, when the Magic where holding off the Sixers' rally. But man, I would feel a lot better about Superman if he could develop a low post move or two. And if he could hit a free throw (he was 2-for-8 last night and is currently at 44 percent for the season).
J.J. Redick: Earned his second consecutive DNP-CD. Remember, he was the sixth man about a week ago.
The Houston Rockets' end-of-game defense: You'd think that a team built on defense would be able to hold a one-point lead with 0.8 seconds left, right? Well, then, you'd be wrong. Brandon Roy dropped a 30-foot atom bomb on the Rockets as time expired to give the Blazers a 101-99 overtime win. Said Rockets coach Rick Adelman: "I don’t know why he got so wide open. We should have had somebody on him. We made a mistake." Yeah, I'd call that a mistake. Man, where's Shane Battier when you need him?
Of course, Roy had to hit that shot to avoid getting a WotN mention himself, since on the previous possession he fouled Yao on a score, which allowed Ming the Merciless (after hitting the free throw) to put Houston up by one point with less than a second on the clock. Actually, you know what...
Brandon Roy: I'm happy for the kid. I am. He hit some clutch shots. But I don't want to see him posing like this unless he's in the middle of some kind of gamma ray-induced transformation.
Yao Ming: When I watched Yao's first shot of the game get blocked by Joel Przybilla -- and it was a smother chicken, no less -- I knew I'd be hearing about Yao from somebody. Sure enough, I received the following e-mail from Basketbawful reader Vinny Gorgeous a few minutes later: "I am writing this with 9:40 left in the first quarter of the Blazers-Rockets game, and I'm ready to nominate Yao for WotN, because DAY-UMN -- the Vanilla Gorilla with a huge rejection. And now Joel's been added to the list of things Yao Ming can't dunk on (along with the rim.) I mean, it's 2 minutes in! His legs can't be tired at this point! And he's getting stuffed by JOEL PRZYBILLA? I don't care if he goes off for 30/20/5 tonight, that's awful."
It's even more awful than you think, Vinny, since -- as I pointed out -- the block you're talking about was the second time Joel had stuffed another brick into the Great Wall of Yao. Oh, and Yao didn't go off for 30/20/5. More like 13/6/1 on 4-for-13 shooting. Oh, and for future reference, Joel is referred to as the Vanilla Godzilla around these parts.
Bonus footage! It's a few days delayed, but here's a mashup of Yao's performance against the Celtics a few days ago:
Ron Artest: He was supposed to help ease the Rockets' scoring woes, but last night he scored a "meh" 9 points on 3-for-9 shooting. He's shooting 34 percent on the season...and only 31 percent from inside the arc.
Update! Tracy McGrady: Basketbawful reader Andrei said: "You have to give T-mac a Worst of the Night for his defense on the last play of the game. He was supposed to guard Roy, but once the play started and Roy bolted towards the ball, T-mac just pointed at him and then casually jogged in that direction just in time to see the a-bomb go off in his face. At 1:08 in these highlightsm just keep an eye on McGrady. Way to delegate Mr. All-Star." Good points, one and all.
John Paxson: Hey, John. I just wanted to let you know that LaMarcus Aldridge scored 27 points on 12-for-20 shooting last night. He also grabbed 9 boards, dished out a pair of assists and blocked two shots. And you swapped him for Tyrus Thomas and Viktor Khryapa. Yeah...how's that workin' out for you again? On the subject of the Bulls...
Chicago Bulls drama: One of the reasons the Bulls fell from grace last season was that many of the players had their own agendas and therefore tuned out Scott Skiles. And even after Skiles was canned (on Christmas eve), they didn't exactly kill themselves for interim head coach Jim Boylan. All that stuff was supposed to be ancient history...but it's not: Ben Gordon and Luol Deng are already making subtle criticisms to the press. "Starters have to get off to a good start; that's their responsibility," Gordon said after Sefolosha went scoreless and starting forward Tyrus Thomas had one point against the Cavaliers. "They have to step it up. Maybe Coach needs to mix something up a little bit." Translation: Coach needs to start me.
Deng, on the other hand, seems to think his slow start is the fault of the team's offense. "I still don't feel I'm playing how I want to play. We have to find sets that we're productive from and try to give teams different looks. We stayed with similar sets, especially in the fourth quarter. We have to switch it up a little bit." Translation: Coach needs to call more plays for me.
But Vinny D isn't changing for nobody, nohow: "No, no, no; they're the players, I'm the coach," Del Negro said. "The easiest thing is to look from the outside in and say we should do this or that. But when you go through it, it's a lot different. We're trying to put everybody in the most successful area we can. Sometimes it's not the system; sometimes it is. Sometimes it's the familiarity of everything."
Del Negro then put the onus right back on his players. "It's probably frustration talking. [Deng] got good looks [Wednesday], just like a few other guys. At times I thought we played pretty well moving the ball, but [we're] still shooting the ball too quick. Guys [are] a little bit unsure and thinking too much instead of playing. What happens is, sometimes [players] get a little bit out of sync and they start forcing things and try to do things they're not comfortable with. That hurts them even more. You just have to be patient and understand where you're going to get your shots."
So glad to see that everybody's on the same page...
Update! Kobe Bryant: He cheated to beat his daughters at Candyland. And then he talked trash to them for the rest of the night.
Labels: Andre Miller, Ben Gordon, Brandon Roy, Chicago Bulls, Elton Brand, Houston Rockets, john paxson, luol deng, Philadelphia 76ers, Vinny Del Negro
Pull a Boozer (puhl a booz'-uhr) noun. When a player makes an off-the-record agreement to sign a contract with one team and then subsequently breaks that agreement to sign with another team, usually for more money and/or a better opportunity.
Usage example: From Falk’s hands all over Brand’s move to Philly by Adrian Wojnarowski. "Several executives still believed, in the words of one Eastern Conference GM, that 'Brand had pulled a Boozer.' Translated: Brand backed out of a preordained deal, which could explain why the Clippers were so stubborn about elevating the original $70 million offer that they made him in the wake of the opt-out."
Word history: Carlos Boozer had a semi-breakout year during the 2003-04 season, averaging 15.5 points (on 52 percent shooting) and 11.4 rebounds per game. During the summer, his team -- the Cleveland Cavaliers -- had a tough decision to make: Keep him under contract for one more year at a salary of $695,000 or let him become a restricted free agent. Boozer and his agent agreed -- off the record, of course -- to sign a 6-year, $39 million contract with the Cavs if they just let him out of the last year of his current deal.
So, in an effort to appease (and yet retain) a valued player, the Cavaliers let Boozer out of the last year of his contract...and he promptly signed an offer sheet with the Jazz worth $68 million over six years.
Under the rules of restricted free agency, Cleveland had the option to match Utah's offer, but they were already over the salary cap. This meant that, unless they started cutting players right and left, they could match only up to the Mid-level exception (which was far less money than what Utah was offering). So, in the end, the Cavaliers could not and did not to re-sign him.
Naturally, Boozer denied that he made any under-the-table agreements with the Cavs: "There was no commitment. It's unfortunate how the turn of events went through the media. I'm not a guy that gives my word and takes it away. I think I've made that clear." Oh yes, Carlos. Crystal clear.
Meanwhile, Cavaliers owner Gordon Gund -- who as most people know is blind -- was bitter over getting jobbed by his former employee, and he expressed that bitterness in a letter to the Cleveland fans. "In the final analysis, I decided to trust Carlos and show him the respect he asked for. He did not show that trust and respect in return."
The more things change, the more they don't. I mean, all Elton Brand wanted was for the Clippers to bring in some more help, and he was willing to take less money to make that happen, right?
Right. And maybe I'm a Chinese jet pilot.
In case you forgot, this is what Brand said a little over a week ago when he decided to forego the final year of his contract (and $16+ million): "We're opting out. It definitely doesn't mean I'm leaving the Clippers. We're trying to work it out. My intention is to stay." Brand even suggested he'd be willing to re-sign for a reduced salary so that the team could bring in some better players and become more competitive.
Then Brand's agent, David Falk, talked up how his client simply wanted the Clips to nab a big-time free agent -- which they did -- to give the team a better chance of winning. "It preserves options to make the team better. Clearly, if Elton decided he wanted to simply max out the dollars, he would have stayed in the deal, had a monster year, and a lot more teams will have cap room next year."
Falk laid it on even thicker when he said that a visit to Boston for Game 2 of the NBA Finals was a big reason why Brand chose to opt out. "He watched what happened when a few stars get together and agree to have a communal effort. He said 'That's what I'd like to accomplish in my career.'"
But in the end, despite his delcaration of intent to remain a Clipper, Brand bolted for Philly so he could make a little more money and play in a weaker conference. Good luck with that, Elton. And by "good luck" I of course mean "I will enjoy watching you fail in Philadelphia." I really hope Baron Davis does an off-the-heezay upside Brand's head the first time the Clippers play the Sixers.
Labels: Carlos Boozer, Elton Brand, lies lies and more lies, shady deals, Word of the Day
Just one problem.
Toronto fans are pissed, and they have every right to be. Here's one angry e-mail I received from Basketbawful reader Raps Gurl, which pretty much sums up how they feel about this game in the frozen north: "I am FURIOUS over the blatant cheating that went on in the Raptors loss* to the Hawks this evening. Replays CLEARLY SHOW THAT THE CLOCK WAS STARTED EARLY ON THE LAST INBOUNDS PLAY! That extra 0.1 seconds lost would have made his basket count and the Raptors would have won the game. Instead, the biased scorekeepers once again reigned and like last year the game was unfairly decided. I hope game tape is sent in by the Raptors organization and this despicable cheating in an already tarnished league is dealt with. And no, this isn't just another Raptors fan crying foul, we legitimately got ROBBED."
*If it can be called that.
On the bright side, Rasho Nesterovic hit his first ever career three-pointer last night. (By the way, thanks to Basketbawful reader Michael for alerting me to the real culprit behind this mess.)
Toronto Raptors: Yes, they got totally hosed by the time-shaving thing. However...the dinos were leading by 17 points in the third quarter before totally collapsing in the fourth, during which they hit only one shot in their last nine possessions. (Although technically they hit two shots in those nine possessions, since Ford's last-second basket should have counted. But I digress.) You've gotta close bad teams out, guys. You've gotta close out.
LeBron James, quote machine: You might want to sit down for this one. Okay. Ready? King James fouled out of a game. Yeah, I know! I guess the NBA has a secret rule that allows the refs to call fouls on him during one game every season, and last night was that game. Of course, The Chosen One was a little cranky afterwards (despite the fact that his teammates pulled out the win without him): "There were a few questionable [calls]. I know how to keep myself out of foul trouble for the most part. In my career I’ve done a great job of that." You know what his "stay out of foul trouble" secret is? Here's a hint: Being LeBron freaking James.
Sasha Pavlovic: Benched!
Daniel Gibson: Memo to Booby: Your role on this team? Shooter. And 1-for-7 (0-for-4 from beyond the arc) ain't gonna get it done. By the way, welcome back.
James Posey: He flushed in a lame "cotton candy" dunk during the first quarter that had his teammates booing him from the sideline. Weak. Hey James, I've got Bill Walton on the phone, and he wants me to tell you to THROW IT DOWN, BIG MAN!
Doc Rivers, time manager: Ray Allen is probably the most fragile of Boston's Big Three, Doc played him the most minutes by far (37). When asked why he wasn't playing Sam Cassell (who ended up with a DNP-CD), Rivers said, "I played him all night last night." Huh. I guess in Doc's world, "all night" means 14 minutes and 16 seconds out of a possible 48. Math: It makes my brain hurt.
(By the way, the bigger problem, and the reason Ray-Ray put in so many minutes, is that the Celtics kept letting the Pacers back into the game.)
The Pacers shooting: As the game dragged on, Hubie Brown kept commenting that the Pacers are one of the best three-point shooting teams in the league. But based on the way the game went -- Indiana shot 35 percent from the field and 6-for-29 from three-point range -- that's like trying to explain to your friends that you don't usually pass out and make a mess in your pants after a night of drinking. Good to know, but also kind of meaningless.
Washington Wizards: Not only did they choke up a nine-point lead in the closing minutes -- despite Agent Zero's emotional return -- they couldn't make a defensive stop with 1.1 seconds left on the clock. Oh, and the game-winner got knocked in by rookie and D-League escapee Ramon Sessions. Nobody should ever lose to a man named "Ramon" unless his first name is "Razor." And here's some extra bad news: DeShawn Stevenson rolled his ankle and Antawn Jamison hurt his shoulder diving into the crowd after a loose ball. I guess Washington signed some kind of agreement that at least two of their starting five will be out with injuries at all times.
New York Knicks: Well, now that Donnie Walsh is on board and Isiah is likely on his way out, the future is a little brighter in New York. But the present is as ugly as ever. The Knicks gave up 130 points on 60 percent shooting to...the Memphis Grizzlies. Eight [!!] Grizzlies scored in double figures, INCLUDING KWAME BROWN. I feel very unclean right now.
Golden State Warriors: Sure, they got blindsided by Dirk's unexpected return, but when you control your own postseason destiny and lose by 25 points to one of your primary competitors for one of the final two playoff spots, well, you have a pretty bleak destiny. (Did I just hear Don Nelson say "Beer me!"?)
Elton Brand: Welcome back, big guy. You were gone 74 games and yet didn't miss a beat. But...why'd you have to go and ruin your team's tanking plans? There's a lottery pick at stake, man! You're...you're not planning to opt out of your contract this summer, are you? Are you?!
Seattle To Be Named Laters: Let's see, after that 18-point home loss to the Clippers, Seattle has lost 19 of their last 21 games and would have to win their last seven -- against Houston (twice), Denver, Dallas (twice), San Antonio and Golden State -- to avoid the worst season in franchise history. So go grab a double-frapacheeny whatever the hell and some scones...it's going to be a painful last seven games.
Raef LaFrentz: Five seconds, one foul.
Labels: Atlanta Hawks, Doc Rivers, Elton Brand, Indiana Pacers, Lebron James, Miami Heat, New York Knicks, Sasha Pavlovic, Seattle Supersonics, Toronto Raptors, Washington Wizards
Kobe Bryant's flip-flopping temper tantrum has succeeded in its initial goal: Embarrassing Lakers management and generating a heaping helping of public sympathy. But should we really feel sorry for Kobe? Aren't there other players who are more deserving of our sympathy? After all, the fans in every town that features a superstar on an underachieving team say the same thing: "[Player Name] deserves better...get him some help!" In some cases, this is a just and reasonable argument. In others, it's just a lot of whining and crying.
The following list describes the current group of NBA superstars who are in less-than-optimal situations and assigns them a Sympathy Score. The scores are based on a 10-point scale, where a 1 means you wouldn't walk across the street to pee on them if they were on fire, and a 10 means you might cut off a valued appendage just to ease their suffering.
Allen Iverson: The runner-up for "most sympathy ever received by an NBA player." Many people will tell you that The Answer flushed away a decade of his life crushing rocks on a 76ers team that gave him "no help." Yet he's played with guys like Jerry Stackhouse, Derrick Coleman, Tim Thomas, Theo Ratliff, Brian Shaw, Larry Hughes, Toni Kukoc, Bruce Bowen, Dikembe Mutumbo, Raja Bell, Matt Harpring, Keith Van Horn, Glenn Robinson, Kyle Korver, Andre Iguodala, and Chris Webber. Every one of those guys can play ball, and they've all proven they can be an active and integral part of a winning culture. And while it can certainly be argued that a few of those players weren't in their primes while sharing a locker room with Iverson, it can also be argued that Iverson didn't make any of them any better...which is supposed to be a hallmark of great players (and I'm not even going to talk about his practice habits). Well, he finally got his wish: to play on a team with All-Star-caliber teammates. That got him a sixth seed and a first-round playoff exit. Yes, he plays hurt and goes all out every time he plays, but I just don't feel that sorry for the guy. Besides, he's got an MVP and even made a trip to the NBA Finals. Sympathy Score: 1.2.
Elton Brand: He gave the Chicago Bulls everything he had -- which was 20 points and 10 rebounds a game -- and they still traded him for for Brian Skinner (who never played for them) and the draft rights to Tyson Chandler (who was traded after five disappointing seasons). I guess you could say that Brand had the last laugh, since the biggest hole in the Bulls' "NBA Championship Contender" resume is a low-post scorer. But does anyone get the last laugh after being traded to the Clippers? Anyway, Brand has kept on plugging away, churning out a consistent 20/10 for the hapless Clips. Last year, he and the Clippers got one brief reprieve: a 47-win season and a trip to the Western Conference Semifinals, where they lost to the Phoenix Suns in seven games. But this year it was back to business as usual for Brand: 20 points, 9 rebounds, 42 losses, and a trip to the draft lottery. And through it all, he never whines, complains, or demands a trade. This is a dude who really does deserve better. Sympathy Score: 8.7.
Jason Kidd: Kidd has overcome having a middle name of Frederick, a cluster of trades, a series of domestic disputes, a public and exceedingly bitter divorce, and the marksmanship of a palsied gunfighter to become one of the greatest point guards of all time. His greatest feat -- leading the once moribund New Jersey Nets to two straight NBA Finals -- went unrewarded (they lost twice, to the Lakers and then the Spurs, and Kidd got jobbed out of the 2002 MVP Award). This season, at age 34, he was third in the league in assists and actually led his team in rebounding (8.2/game) despite the fact that he couldn't jump over a nickle. He makes triple doubles seem routine (he had 12 this season and 87 over the course of his career). But the best testament of Kidd's career is that he flat out makes other players better (except Vince Carter). Like my buddy Statbuster likes to say, "Kidd is like Spandex; he can make any ass look good." I'd love to see this guy in a better situation (i.e., on any team other than the Nets. Or Clippers. Or Celtics. Or...well, you get the idea). Sympathy Score: 7.1.
Jermaine O'Neal: I have mixed feelings about O'Neal. On the one hand, he's wildly overrated; he draws favorable comparisons to Kevin Garnett, even though he's not nearly as good: he doesn't rebound as well as he should, he prefers to fade away rather than take it strong to the hoop (hence his career field goal percentage of 46 percent...just awful for a "big man"), and he doesn't have a clutch bone in his big body. On the other hand, he's a gamer who works hard, plays great help defense, usually says the right thing, and appears genuinely dedicated to winning. He's just more of a second banana than a franchise player, which isn't entirely his fault (in fact, it's more the Pacers fault, as an organization, for failing to realize this). I'd like to see him on a winning team -- especially if it's the Pacers -- but I'm not losing sleep over his disappointments. Sympathy Score: 5.6.
Joe Johnson: This guy willingly walked away from the Phoenix Suns -- who were coming off a 62-win season and a trip to the Western Conference Finals -- to be The Man on the Atlanta Hawks. Good call, Joe. His scoring improved a little (from 17 PPG in 2004-05 to 20 PPG in 2005-06) but his shooting dropped off (46 percent to 45) and his three-point shooting went to hell (48 percent to 35). More importantly, his new team went 26-56 in 2004-05 and 30-52 last season. But he got a $70 million contract out of it, I guess he's fine with it. And so am I. Sympathy Score: -2.4.
Kevin Garnett: Nudged out Iverson to become the hands-down winner of "most sympathy ever received by an NBA player." Year in, year out, K.G. is lauded as one of the best in the game. Yet after logging 12 seasons and over 35,000 minutes, all he's got to show for it is one trip to the Western Conference Finals and an MVP award, both of which are partially due to the fact that he was playing with a very motivated Sam Cassell. Garnett usually gets a free pass because he's never had great teammates. Or is it that he just doesn't make his teammates great? After all, current teammates Ricky Davis and Mike James were statistically superior before teaming up with The Big Ticket. The fact is, Garnett doesn't make the game easier for his teammates the way, say, Tim Duncan does, and his back-to-back $100+ million dollar contracts haven't made it easy for the front office to build around him. I certainly don't question his intensity, his desire to win, or how much of his mind, body, and soul he gives on the court. But he's shares a good chunk of the blame for his team's failings. Sympathy Score: 3.9.
Kobe Bryant: I'm supposed to feel sorry for this guy? Last time I checked, he'd won three world championships -- back-to-back-to-back -- while playing caddy for an unstoppable Shaq. Yet, and make no mistake about this, he was willing to blow it all up because he wanted to be The Man. I don't care that it was supposedly Jerry Buss' decision to light the torches, hoist the pitchforks, and run Shaq out of town. Everybody and his brother knew that Shaq and Kobe couldn’t co-exist on the same team anymore. Phil Jackson even said so in his book, The Last Season. Now that three years have passed, Kobe's finally come forth to "clear the air," claiming that he didn't really want Shaq gone? Whatever. You'll notice that, in the description of his conversation with Buss, Kobe didn't make any kind of argument for the Lakers to keep Shaq, despite the fact that he had the bargaining power to do so (Buss would have sold his grandmother to a horde of rampaging barbarians to resign Kobe). So sure, he may not have pushed Shaq out the door himself, but he was standing there holding it open. And let's not forget that he publicly threatened to kick Karl Malone’s sinewy ass for harmlessly flirting with his wife, and that led to the Mailman's premature retirement. I'll be the first to admit that the Lakers' brass (Jerry Buss, Jim Buss, and Mitch Kupchak) have all contributed to this mess, as did Phil Jackson (for running Jerry West out of town) and Shaq (for playing hardball in his contract negotiations), but Kobe gets credit for co-authoring this dramady. No peace for the wicked. Sympathy Score: -4.8.
Paul Pierce: He's living a nightmare. A total, absolute nightmare. The Celtics are such a hopeless mess that it's unlikely the team will improve significantly during his career, maybe even his lifetime. He plays hard, he plays hurt, and he's a lock for 25/6/5 every night. You simply can't question his toughness or desire to win. He once got fouled by Amare Stoudemire, hit the floor face first, broke several teeth, and didn't miss any time. And let's not forget how, prior to the 2000-01 season, he was stabbed 11 times in the neck and back outside a Boston nightclub. He almost died, yet he played in all 82 games that season. And through it all, despite the fact that his team is a twisted, dysfunctional mess, he very rarely takes his complaints to the press, and even when he does they're relatively mild. Sympathy Score: 9.7.
Ray Allen: Is Ray-Ray really a superstar? I don't know. But he has a funny-shaped head and he chose to sign an $85 million contract extension with a slightly above-average team (which promptly became a slightly below-average team). I just get the feeling like winning isn't the most important thing in Allen's list of priorities. Meh. Sympathy Score: 2.0.
Stephon Marbury: Bwahahahahahaha!! Sympathy Score: N/A.
Tracy McGrady: T-Mac has become the NBA’s foremost tragic figure. He fights hard every game, plays through injuries, and you can just tell how desperately he wants to win. I mean, the dude cried during his post-game press conference when the Rockets got eliminated by the Jazz in this year's playoffs. No matter what he does, he can't get out of the first round. His teams have given up 2-0 leads, 3-1 leads, lost seventh games at home. The words "best player in NBA history to never get out of the first round" exist only because of Tracy McGrady. In many ways, this was his best season. Early on, he sacrificed his scoring numbers and deferred to Yao Ming. When Ming went down with his yearly injury, he upped his scoring and assist numbers to lead a group of so-so role-players to a 20-12 record. The Rockets even earned the 4th seed in a very competitive Western Conference. Didn't matter. The results were the same: Another first round exit. McGrady is cursed, I'm sure of it. Sympathy Score: 9.5.
Labels: Allen Iverson, Elton Brand, Jason Kidd, Joe Johnson, Kevin Garnett, Kobe Bryant, Paul Pierce, Sympathy, Tracy McGrady
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