So the Orlando Magic, they of the missed playoff free throw variety, have been done for a few days.

Never fear, for our fill of free throw fail was provided by...


lacktion artist Omer Asik...

and...


nearly-hero Al Horford of the Hawks, whose momentary lapse of concentration (seen at 2:44 of the above clip) bailed Marquis Daniels and the Celtics out!  Woops.

The Association: where charity stripe hijinks deciding not one, but TWO playoff series happens!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Labels: 2012 NBA Playoffs, Al Horford, Atlanta Hawks, Boston Celtics, Chicago Bulls, free throws, Omer Asik, oops baby, Philadelphia 76ers

Fate really kicked the Bulls in the man region last night.
Finally.

At long last.

After what feels like an entire year of fruitless effort and unending heartbreak, the turbulent ups and downs, the many times when it looked like they might never make it, the Miami cHeat have finally broken through.

This isn't merely a story. It's a saga. An odyssey. An epic tale of unwavering bravery and endurance in the face of staggering inequity and stunning odds.

Said Miami coach Erik Spoelstra: "We had to go through a lot of adversity. That struggle that we went through in March, where we lost five straight -- all of them close games, where we didn't execute down the stretch and weren't able to close games out -- that helped us. As painful as that was, we had to go through that fire together to be able to gain the confidence where we could be successful now in the postseason."

Normally, when human beings walk through fire, they get burned to a smoldering crisp. But not these cHeat. Oh no. Truly, from the ashes of doubt and hate, never has a Phoenix metaphor been more personified!

Added Wade: "It just seems like yesterday we were coming together as a new unit, and the Miami organization decided we needed to get away and (have) it just be about us and not let any outside distractions get in. And it was just about us."

It really does seem like only yesterday, doesn't it?

But the truth is this story stretches all the way back to last October. Nature did not create mortal man to survive the eight months of agonized waiting these cHeat have endured. They are more god than man. When the sun's light has faded and human life has been nearly extinguished from the desolate surface of a dying world, still shall the minstrels sing of the great light that shone forth from the asses of these men on this holy day!


You want pain? You want suffering? Look at the soul-wrenching anguish LeBron experienced when Derrick Rose ruthlessly swiped at the air in front of him:


Fortunately, the officials saw fit to reward LeBron's Job-like suffering with a foul before bloody stigmata could form on his mighty wrists. Truly is he the Chosen One. And, like a Messiah, he is met with unreasoning hate.

How much longer must this be so?

Said King Crab: "What's today's date -- the 26th? I say we've got about a month left. About a month left of continued hate. We'll see what happens next year."

No one has been more spiteful toward the cHeat than Sir Charles Barkley, Lord of Hate and Dark Despair, Weaver of Shadow and Spreader of Deceit.

Said Barkley: "These athletes today are all wussified. I've been saying LeBron's been the best player in the league for three years. And I say one thing criticizing The Decision, and I get a phone call from Nike saying why don't I like LeBron? It's interesting how this (expletive) works. These groups today, if you don't say 100 percent positive about their guy or their team, they overreact."

Don't believe his lies.

If you don't think this is divine providence, then you need to go buy a dictionary, look up "divine" and "providence," and then jam them together. From ESPN Stats and Information:

Including the regular season, the Chicago Bulls were 53-0 when leading by double-digits in the fourth quarter. So, with only 3:14 remaining in Game 5, and the Bulls leading by 12 points a win appeared all but certain.

The Miami Heat had other plans though, finishing the game on an 18-3 run to advance to the NBA Finals for the second time in franchise history.

According to 10,000 simulations done by Accuscore.com, the Heat had just a 1 percent chance of winning the game with 3:14 remaining.

Just like it's been all season, the "Big Three" for Miami were at the center of it all, scoring 69 of the team's 83 points, including the last 33.

It wasn't all good for the trio though; through three quarters they combined for as many field goals as turnovers (13).

The main culprit was Dwyane Wade, who committed nine turnovers to tie his playoff career-high and the franchise playoff record.

However, along with LeBron James, the pair came alive scoring 22 points in the final frame, while connecting on their last six field goal attempts, three of which came from behind the 3-point line.

LeBron isn't just a Majestic King and Basketball Messiah, mind you, he's a prophet. Remember his sage Tweet: "Crazy. Karma is a b****. Gets you every time. Its [sic] not good to wish bad on anybody. God sees everything!"

Karma was indeed bitchy to Derrick Rose, who pulled off the crime of the century by stealing LeBron's 2011 MVP award. In retribution, Karma punked Rose into 9-for-29 shooting and 5 turnovers in the biggest game of his life. Fittingly, Chicago's last shot of the season was Rose getting stuffed by James on the game's final play:


Said Rose: "At the end, it's all me. Turnovers, missed shots, fouls. The series is over."

Karma also benched Carlos Boozer and Joakim Noah for the entire fourth quarter. Would anyone have ever guessed that Keith Bogans would see more PT in winning time than Boozer and Noah? But it was written in the Book of Time.

Probably by LeBron.

This wasn't just a victory for LeBron, or the cHeat, or the city of Miami, or the long-suffering cHeat fans who have struggled though a five-year championship drought, it was a victory for the American way of life. In a fast food culture full of armchair cynics who eschew personal accountability and demand instant gratification, these cHeat can be a moral exemplar, a throwback if you will to an earlier time in which hard work and perseverance really can pay off over time if you just stick with something and put the needs of other ahead of your own.

Joakim Noah, quote machine: Three words: "Hollywood as hell."


Pat Riley, quote machine: "You can see that we have two, three players that have no fear. Chris steps up there and makes two free throws that he's got to make. LeBron and Dwyane struggling a little bit with their game most of the night, but they made some big, big shots.That's what it's all about."

Dwyane Wade, quote machine: "We don't even know what happened. I'm not going to lie to you and say we do. I can't remember all the plays. I just remember the timeout, and Coach just looked at us and said, 'We've done this before. We've been in games where we've gone on a 12-0 or 14-0 run. Just believe.' We came out of that timeout believing if we get stops, we can give ourselves an opportunity. That's all I remember."

Taj Gibson, quote machine: "[Bulls coach Tom Thibodeau] was basically saying his thing -- 'score, stop, score.' We had a good lead. It was all about getting stops and who could close it out. But then we really couldn't get any stops and the momentum grew."

Kurt Thomas, quote machine: "They hit some tough shots, step-back 3s, runners, you can't take anything away from them. They know how to put the ball in the hole and they showed it. I don't think I've ever experienced that. It seemed like they just hit one big shot after another. I thought we had a nice lead there, and it just slipped away. We let a golden opportunity get away."

Ronnie Brewer, quote machine: "We wanted [James] to take contested 2s, contested 3s. I guess you have to limit him but he stepped up and he willed his team to victory."

Labels: Chicago Bulls, Miami Heat, Worst of the Night

This picture sums up everything I'm feeling right now.
Dwyane Wade's dunk fail: In the early stages of the game, Marv Albert, Reggie Miller and Steve Kerr went on about how unhappy Wade was about his lousy shooting in Game 3, and how he did extra shooting, great players work hard, yada, yada, yada. That conversation led brilliantly into this:


Derrick Rose saw that missed dunk and raised three nasty ones:


Unfortunately, if you subtract those jams, Rose went 5-for-24. More on that below.

The Chicago Bulls: Things started out so well for the Bulls. They raced out to a 19-8 lead with 4:22 left in the first quarter...then bad things happened.

Very bad things.

Very bad offensive things.

The shivering terror actually started exactly at the 4:22 mark when Ronnie Brewer clanked the free throw half of an "And 1" opportunity.

Keith Bogans went on to brick three-pointers on Chicago's next two possessions. Why would Bogans ever shoot threes on back-to-back possessions, you ask? Because the Heat left him wide open, of course.

Rose followed Bogans' bricks with a three-point clunker of his own.

Then Carlos Boozer went 0-for-2 from the line and shanked an open 19-footer in consecutive scoreless possessions.

Then Bogans missed another three.

Then Rose committed a turnover on Chicago's final possession of the quarter.

That's right. After taking that 19-8 lead, the Bulls didn't score again during the first quarter despite having several open shots. That 12-minute sequence ended 19-16. I really believe that four-minute drought cost the Bulls the game. They had a very real chance to take complete control and didn't do it. That's just one of many things that will haunt them about this particular loss.

So many wasted opportunities. The Bulls bobbled the ball away 22 times for 26 points going the other way. That combined with their 38-22 disadvantage in free throw attempts offset their 26 fast break points and the staggering 44-24 advantage in points in the paint. Chicago also played tough defense, forcing King Crab (11-for-26) and Pookie (5-for-16) into off nights. Bosh was 6-for-12, but five of his six made field goals were from 16, 17, 18, 19 and 20 feet. The Bulls forced him to shoot contested jumpers...he just made 'em.

The Bulls didn't make 'em. In all, they went 16-for-57 on jumpers (28 percent) and only 6-for-24 on threes (25 percent). Sometimes they were open. Sometimes they weren't. It didn't seem to matter either way.

Chicago's Bench Mob: LeBron (35 points, 6 rebounds, 6 assists, 3 blocks, 2 steals) was seemingly the consensus Player of the Game, but his plus-minus score was -1. Dwyane Wade's was -10. But check out the borderline absurd plus-minus stats of Miami's reserves: Mike Miller (+36 in 26 minutes), Udonis Haslem (+25 in 34 minutes) and Mario Chalmers (+10 in 21 minutes).

Chicago's reserves? Borderline absurd in the other direction: Taj Gibson (-21 in 10 minutes), Ronnie Brewer (-12 in 21 minutes), C.J. Watson (-12 in seven minutes), Kyle Korver (0 in 16 minutes) and Omer Asik (0 in two minutes).

The Bench Mob was supposed to be the Bulls' biggest advantage against the top-heavy, bottom-weak Heat. Unfortunately, they were thoroughly outplayed by their Miami counterparts last night. Particularly Miller, who grabbed 9 big rebounds and scored 9 points in the fourth quarter, drilling two key jumpers and even driving into the jaws of Chicago's defense for a layup that tied the game at 80-80 with 3:15 left.

Speaking of which...

Kyle Korver: With his tattoos and wacky hair, Miller looks like Korver's Bizarro World counterpart, and his return to basketball life casts a harsh light on Kyle's fade into oblivion. As Jeff Fogle of Hoopdata points out: "Tonight's 2 of 6 brings him to 25 of 77 from the floor over the last 12 games, with eight rebounds in 172 minutes."

Here's the thing: I don't begrudge Korver any shot. That said, I don't think Chicago's offensive sets are getting him clean looks at the basket. Too many of his shots are contested and forced.

On that subject...

Bulls coach Tom Thibodeau: There's no question that the man can coach the absolute living hell out of a defense. But, at times, the offense looks like it's still running sets out of Vinny Del Negro's playbook. Especially in critical situations. In Chicago's last two possessions of regulation, Thibs put Rose on an island against LeBron. The result: A 6'2" guard forcing two contested 18-footers over a 6'9" athletic freak.

Not good shots.

From my living room, I was screaming for the Bulls to run an offensive set -- any set -- rather than bailing out and using an iso.

But, again, we should have seen that coming. The Bulls have been "cheating" all season, devolving into "give Rose the ball and get out of the way" mode every time the going gets tough. Credit Derrick for repeatedly coming through, which was probably a major factor in his winning the MVP. But then you also have to credit the Heat for repeatedly throwing new looks at him in this series. This time, they turned to LeBron down the stretch, something they hadn't really done yet in this series.

It worked.

Given time, Rose has figured out pretty much every defense that's been thrown at him. He didn't have time -- or, really, the energy -- to figure this one out. I'm not sure how much input Pat Riley is giving Erik Spoelstra at this point, but Riley did the same thing when he was coaching the Lakers in the 1980s. He was always throwing new defensive wrinkles at Larry Bird, trying to get Bird out of his comfort zone. Riley went with waves of defenders (first Michael Cooper, then James Worthy, then Mychal Thompson, and so on) and waves of doubles coming from a variety of directions. The Heat have been employing similar tactics against Rose.

And is has worked.

Derrick Rose: The Miami defense really put him in a box, didn't it?

For instance:


And:


About a month ago, I wrote that talent usually wins out in the NBA playoffs, and that Miami's Big Three would probably trump Chicago's Big One.

It was a bitter prediction that's coming true right before my eyes.

People are going to look cross-eyed at Rose for his shooting (8-for-27) and his turnovers (7), and rightly so. I'm sure some fans are contacting a repo man about taking back Derrick's MVP award. I'm also sure LeBron knows exactly how that feels. The previous two seasons, his Cavaliers compiled the league's best record while he won back-to-back MVP awards, and then those squads got soundly bounced by more talented teams.

In point of fact, last season, the Celtics wiped both Wade's Heat and LeBron's Cavs off the playoff map. Which, we have been led to believe, is what convinced them to join forces in Miami.

Rose missed a free throw with 1:09 left in regulation that, considering neither team scored again until the overtime session, might very well have won the game. Then there were the two missed jumpers over LeBron. I'm sure those three misses will haunt him. So will the unforced turnover he committed with 1:05 left in OT and the Bulls down only 93-89.

He gave his all. He came up short. Like I said, LeBron knows all about that.

Chicago's mental lapses: Said Joakim Noah: "Sometimes effort isn't enough. You got to do more than that. We had mental lapses. We can't turn the ball over against this team at all because they get on the break and they're really tough to stop in that situation.

"I feel like every game is a little bit like that. Even the games that are eight, 10 points. If you're watching closely, all these games are so close. They're played at one or two possessions, so a few of these turnovers, I missed a few easy baskets around the rim. Those are things I'll think about all night probably."

Turnovers?

The Bulls committed 22 in all. The Heat scored 26 points off of them.

Mental lapses?

Like when Luol Deng threw the ball away on an inbounds pass with 1:36 left in overtime and the Bulls down only 93-89? Or, on Chicago's next possession after LeBron missed a 21-footer, when Derrick Rose drove into the paint and simply lost his handle on the ball?

Those particular miscues were part mental lapse and part fatigue. The Bulls were absolutely out of gas at that point. At least by the looks of it. I've watched enough basketball and played enough pickup ball to recognize the effects of fatigue. On the road, against the wall, with guys closing in on 50 minutes of PT, facing a killer defense energized by its home crowd and the opportunity to put the series in a submission hold, the Bulls succumbed.

In overtime, talent won out, and Miami's three stars were overpowering.

Bosh scored the first four points of OT on two free throws and an icy cold jumper from 20 feet. The Bulls got an unlikely three-bomb from Brewer, but Wade responded by drilling a 19-footer right before the shot clock expired. Carlos Boozer muscled his way into a foul at the other end but missed the second freebie. On the other end, LeBron drove in for a layup. The Bulls called time and that led to Deng's botched inbound pass, then LeBron's missed jumper, then Derrick's turnover, then a layup by Wade.

On the other end, Wade blocked a shot attempt by Deng. Lu got it back and Wade fouled him, after which Deng hit both free throws to pull the Bulls to within four points. James hit another mid-range jumper to push the lead back to six points. Rose drove madly the other way and had his layup attempt swatted by Wade. In the ensuing scramble for the ball, the Heat simply outfought the Bulls. Wade then iced things with a couple free throws.

We can talk free throws and fast breaks and turnovers and bench play and whatever else. But in those final few minutes, the talent and will of Miami's three stars was too much. Just too much.

The Bulls still have pieces on the board. But last night's loss felt like checkmate.

Miami's flopstravaganza: With 10:18 left in the fourth quarter and the Bulls leading 69-68, LeBron James drew an offensive foul on Luol Deng courtesy of an egregious flop. Seriously, LeBron -- possibly the most powerful physical specimen in the league (or second to Dwight Howard) -- dropped like he got face-punched by Ivan Drago. He did the same thing in Game 3. The most annoying part was after his obviously exaggerated fall, he grinned like an idiot and nodded vigorously to his teammates while wagging his tongue.

Really? The mighty LeBron needs to flop?

With 4:39 left and the Bulls leading 77-74, Chris Bosh flopped his way to this flagrant foul:


Shame on you, Steve Kerr, for applauding and supporting Bosh's theatrics. Still, I can see why it was called a flagrant. My issue with it is that something very similar happened between Boozer and Udonis Haslem earlier in the game, only Boozer calmly stood up to Haslem's thuggary and -- of course -- wasn't given the flagrant. So I guess maybe Kerr was right. Maybe Boozer should have taken a dive.

The Boshtrich's flop initiated a huge swing. He hit both free throws and, when the Heat got possession back afterward, Mike Miller drilled a jumper to put Miami up a point. Fans and, supposedly, players talk up the importance of toughness, but once again bravely flopping in the face of physical contact continues to give teams a significant advantage.

Update! Officiating: Great players don't need extra steps to hit clutch shots...but it sure does help, doesn't it?


Chris' Playoff Lacktion Report: Omer Asik fouled twice in 113 seconds for a +2 and a 2:0 Voskuhl. (Lacktion negated due to injury, as noted by Dan B.)

Labels: 2011 NBA Playoffs, Chicago Bulls, Miami Heat

James Harden's flop: All I can say is: Wow.


Okay, "wow" isn't really all I can say. If there was such a thing as basketball prison, and players were sentenced to it for crimes against the sport, I would want Harden serving a life sentence with no chance for parole.

It wasn't just the flop, mind you, it was the "OH MY GOD NOT MY FACE!" reaction that went along with it. There's selling a flop, there's overselling a flop, and there's pretending someone shot you in the head. Too much, James. Too much.

The worst part was that Tyson Chandler received a technical foul for arguing the call. The league actually showed some wisdom by rescinding the tech. But damn, people. It never should have come to that. And Harden's flop-a-rooni started an 8-0 run that pulled the Thunder to within 65-52, which was the closest they'd been since the end of the first quarter.

Which brings me to...

The Oklahoma City Thunder: Playing at home with a chance to take complete control of the series, the Thunder forced Dirk Nowitzki (7-for-21) and Jason Terry (3-for-12) into bad shooting games. Ditto for Jason Kidd (4-for-10) and Peja Stojakovic (3-for-7). In all, the Mavs shot 43.9 percent and went only 7-for-21 from downtown. They also lost the rebounding battle 45-37 and had a 36-18 disadvantage in free throw attempts.

Dallas also led by as many as 23 points and held on down the stretch for a 93-87 win. Thanks to a team-wide offensive pants-wetting by Oklahoma City.

The Thunder shot 36.5 percent as a team and went 1-for-17 on threes. That is not a misprint. According to ESPN Stats and Information, OKC tied for the second-worst three-point percentage in a playoff game in the last 20 years (5.9 percent), trailing only the 2005 Mavericks, who shot 5.6 percent (1-for-18) in a 119-102 loss to the Phoenix Suns. You know, back when the Suns were relevant and Steve Nash was the MVP.

*sob*

Anyway, Kevin Durant bricked his way to a 7-for-22 night and Russell Westbrook went 8-for-20 and committed 7 turnovers. And you know what? Westbrook has me totally confused. I can't tell if he's Oklahoma City's best player or their worst nightmare. Is he keeping them in games or shooting the Thunder out of them? I have no idea at this point.

Maybe it's a little of Column A, a little of Column C.

On the subject, courtesy of AnacondaHL, a "flawed yet interesting take on why Eric Maynor should be point over Westbrook."


So now let's backtrack to that "since the end of the first quarter" reference I made in the entry for Harden's flop. Oklahoma City got outscored 27-12 in the first 12 minutes, and that pretty much defined the game. According to ESPN Stats and Information, "they turned the ball over 7 times and made just 4-17 from the field. The Mavericks meanwhile assisted on 8 of their 12 made FG."

Bad D. Bad O. Bad everything.

Said Durant: "Frustrating. It's tough to start a game, not make shots and you give teams easy baskets. That's like a backbreaker."

Added Thunder coach Scott Brooks: "There's no question they started the game really hitting us and knocking us out of our offense. And we missed a lot of 3s. Those 3s weren't all contested."

Sometimes you’re hitting. Sometimes your not. On Saturday, the Thunder were not. It wasn't just three-pointers, either. According to Hoopdata, OKC went 4-for-9 from 3-9 feet, 3-for-10 from 10-15 feet and 3-for-9 from 16-23 feet. And they missed 13 of their 29 attempts at the rim.

Bonus video: More adventures in officiating courtesy of Refcalls:


The Chicago Bulls: I didn't think it would be Chris Bosh.

He was the Ringo of these "Heetles," right? The oft-criticized, occasionally forgotten third wheel. The butt of all the "Two and a Half Men" jokes that swirled around Miami this season. The Boshtrich. The guy who went 1-for-18 against the Bulls during what's turning out to be an utterly meaningless regular season game.

I didn't think it would be Chris Bosh.

I just didn't think he would be the Heat player beating the Bulls.

Bosh scored 34 points on 18 field goal attempts.

According to Hoopdata, e went 5-for-6 at the rim, 2-for-2 from 3-9 feet, 1-for-1 from 10-15 feet and 5-for-9 from 16-23 feet.

He hit open shots.

He hit contested shots.

After starting the game 0-for-3, he went 13-for-15.

Bosh also earned more foul shots (10) than LeBron James (9), Dwyane Wade (6) or Derrick Rose (3).

And he knocked down eight of them.


Chicago's defense was designed to slow down the scoring exploits of LeBron (6-for-13) and D-Wade (6-for-17). That mission was accomplished. But Bosh's frightening accuracy from everywhere on the floor stretched that D to its breaking point. It allowed James to drive, draw the double team, and kick the ball out. Six of LeBron's game-high 10 assists were dished to Bosh and Wade...four of them to Bosh.

That's the value of Miami's three-star system.

How can you possibly guard all three of them on every possession? The answer, it's turning out, is that you can't. Bosh now has two 30-point outbursts in three playoff games against the Bulls. And in the one game he didn't go for 30, James and Wade had big scoring games.

It's hard not to compare LeBron's floor game and assist totals to that of Derrick Rose. Of course, when Rose tried to run the pick and roll with Joakim Noah, the Heat defense stuck to Rose like it was made of Velcro. That's because Noah is no threat to score. Last night, Jo finished with a single point on 0-for-4 shooting.

Speaking of which...

Joakim Noah: Let's put it this way: Noah finished the game with more alleged gay slurs than field goals.


Oh, man. Listen to Grant Hill and think before you speak, Joakim!

Back to the game, Noah has never been a primary or even secondary scoring threat. The Bulls count on him to rip down rebounds and make an impact on defense. Only he didn't do either last night. Not even close. Jo totaled a mere 5 rebounds, only one of which came on the offensive end, when he missed a tip shot.

And he was the unfortunate victim of several Bosh jumpers.

Noah finished with five fouls. He committed three of them trying -- and failing -- to stop Bosh. He couldn't even slow Bosh down. That wasn't just a hiccup in the game plan. It blew the game plan to hell.

Said Noah: "We didn't finish well at the rim. I feel like I could definitely do a better job on the boards, and I need to finish better. I'm really disappointed in myself with the way I played tonight."

You can tell Noah is frustrated. You can also tell he's lost all faith in that little 15-footer he had developed before his thumb surgery. Now, when left unguarded with the ball on the outside, Noah looks like he's holding the world's hottest potato. He can't get rid of that thing fast enough.

Juxtapose Noah's fear of getting the rock outside the paint with Udonis Haslem's confidence. Haslem went 4-for-5 from the field in the second half, which included jumpers from 15, 16 and 18 feet. Haslem's ability to hit those shots opened up the floor for James to drive and kick, drive and kick, drive and score.

Back to the Bulls... The Bulls aren't opening similar lanes for Rose. Carlos Boozer finally made a jail break -- 26 points, 10-for-12 at the line, 17 rebounds -- but Deng went 2-for-7 when he wasn't shooting from point blank range. Keith Bogans hit one and missed two. Ronnie Brewer was 2-for-6 and hasn't earned any respect for his jump shot. Kyle Korver attempted only two field goals in 11 minutes. Omer Asik -- who's less of a threat to score than anyone else on this team -- went 0-for-3 before leaving with a leg injury.

In short, the Bulls couldn't stop Miami's Big Three -- who scored 73 of the Heat's 96 points -- and couldn't get anything consistent out of their offense outside of Boozer. Haslem, Mike Bibby (2-for-4 on threes) and Mario Chalmers (2-for-3) spaced the floor just enough for their superstar teammates to go where they wanted to go.

Chicago won the rebounding battle (41-32) and outscored Miami in the paint (36-31), but the Heat nearly 51 percent from the field and went an outrageous 10-for-19 from 16-23 feet (52.7 percent). That can't happen.

Said Bulls coach Tom Thibodeau: "They're making shots. We have to get up and challenge their shots better. We have to finish our defense. The rebounding was good. Challenging their shots wasn't."

I guess. Although there were a couple times Noah's hand was so far up in Bosh's face he could have wiped Bosh's nose, but Miami's big man knocked the shots down anyway. What more can Noah do to challenge? Hit Bosh with a brick?

Shouldn't be a problem. The Bulls have plenty of bricks to go around.

Kyle Korver: This was just...embarrassing. All I can say.


Chris' Weekend Playoff Lacktion Ledger:

Mavs-Thunder: Eric Maynor bricked once and lost the rock once as well for a +2 in 5:54, while Daequan Cook baked two bricks from...uh...Bricktown and fouled thricely for a +5 in 14:03.

Bulls-Heat: Gee, Mr. Joakim Noah, the fact you are in the lacktion report probably means you didn't help the moo machine beat out South Beach.

In 29:04 as starting big man, five boards and six assists were negated by four bricks, two turnovers, and five fouls for a 7:6 Voskuhl. yikes.

Omer Asik also represented the windy city well with two fouls countering a board in 15:21 for a 2:1 Voskuhl.

Meanwhile, Miami's Mike Miller fouled and bricked twice each (once from...uh...Brickell) and lost the rock once in 12:54 for a celebratory +5 suck differential.

Labels: 2011 NBA Playoffs, Chicago Bulls, Dallas Mavericks, James Harden, Miami Heat, Oklahoma City Thunder

How bad were the Bulls last night? I'll let Jamaal Magloire answer that:


Sigh.

It was just that kind of night.

The Heat beat the Bulls on the boards and they beat them up. For example:


Miami forced Chicago to shoot 34.1 percent from the field. The Heat packed the paint and willingly gave up open threes. The Bulls capitulated but couldn't convert, going 3-for-20 from downtown. They also missed 10 free throws

It was like the chunk of their brains that controls shooting was taken out and replaced with Michael Bolton's Jack Sparrow song. Which, while totally awesome, doesn't contribute much to putting a ball in a basket.

Check out these ugly numbers: Derrick Rose (7-for-23, 0-for-3 on threes), Carlos Boozer (3-for-10), Luol Deng (5-for-15, 1-for-7 on threes), Kyle Korver (1-for-7, 1-for-5 on threes). Let's face it, those are the Bulls' shooters/scorers. And Boozer, Deng and Rose combined for 8 of Chicago's 10 turnovers. Every time Deng tried to drive baseline, he got the ball stripped.

Rose tried to set up his teammates, and he finished with eight assists, but guys weren't hitting. From ESPN Stats and Information: "Derrick Rose couldn't find his shooting rhythm, and when he created shots for his teammates, they too struggled to convert chances into points. Starting frontcourt Carlos Boozer and Luol Deng had a hard time converting Rose's passes, as the two forwards combined to shoot 2 of 9 (four points) off passes by Rose, and sharpshooter Kyle Korver missed all four of his chances created by the league MVP."

With homecourt advantage on the line, the Bulls mustered only 10 points in the fourth quarter and finished with a playoff-low 75 points.

The Bulls weren't much better on the other end. LeBron James (29 points, 12-for-21) and Dwyane Wade (24 points, 8-for-16, 8-for-10 at the line) did whatever they wanted, and King Crab hit four clutch hoops down the stretch, including a three-pointer with 4:28 left that broke a 73-73 tie and put the Heat in total control. Chicago scored only two more points the rest of the way.

Said Chicago coach Tom Thibodeau: "We played a low-energy offense, a low-energy defense and the result was not good."

He's got that right.

And, hell, I haven't even brought up the mess the Bulls made in the paint last night. From ESPN Stats and Information: "The Bulls made 15-of-33 shots (45.5 pct) inside five feet in Game 2 against the Heat, well below their season average of 58.9 percent entering Wednesday night. Derrick Rose (2 of 10), Carlos Boozer (3 of 8) and Joakim Noah (2 of 6) were three big reasons the Bulls were outscored 50-34 in the paint."

According to Hoopdata, the Heat went 16-for-20 at the rim, an 80 percent conversion rate.

I've gotta tell you, Udonis Haslem was to Game 2 what Taj Gibson was to Game 1. He finished with a plus-minus score of -11, but his energy inspired his teammates. He threw down dunks. He blocked a shot by Rose. He hit a couple 20-footers at the end of the third quarter to stave off a Bulls rally. He grabbed 3 key offensive rebounds and made countless hustle plays.


But let's face it. Haslem didn't beat Chicago by himself. Nor did LeBron or Wade.

The Bulls won Game 1 with defense and rebounding.

They lost Game 2 for the same reasons.

Labels: 2011 NBA Playoffs, Chicago Bulls, Miami Heat, Worst of the Night

Editor's note: The top pic was created by The Big Nowitzki and sent to me by Shayan Mannan of Sports Haze. Evil Ted will be writing about the Celtics game.

The Los Angeles Lakers: You know what? In hindsight, the most shocking part about what just happened to the Lakers is how not shocking it should have been. L.A.'s season was a mishmash of up-and-down play. At times, they looked unstoppable. Other times, they looked helpless and lost. But their fans never quite lost that air of cocky arrogance and the non-fans never felt totally comfortable predicting the collapse that seemed inevitable. The Lakers had, after all, turned it on before.

But not this time.

The talent was there. No question about it. But something vital was missing and we may never know exactly what it was. Chemistry? That seems impossible given that the core group of back-to-back championship teams remained intact. Motivation? That doesn't feel quite right. The Lakers wanted to win.

I guess maybe it was desire. I can't presume to know what was going on inside their hearts, but this Lakers team felt different than the squads who won the last two league titles. Two seasons ago, they played pissed off after the way the Celtics had manhandled them in the 2008 NBA Finals. Last year, they played with a chip on their shoulder, because they still seemed to feel they had something to prove.

I never felt that this season. They played well in stretches but never inspired. At least, that's what it looked like from the outside. I think Kobe sensed it. I think that's why, after the Lakers lost to the Heat in Miami, he pulled that crazy "I'm going to shoot around until they kick me out of the arena" stunt. Kobe's a control freak. That's a large part of what's made him great. He could see the Lakers weren't competing the way they needed to if they wanted to defend their title. So Kobe controlled what he could control: His own maniacal effort.

Only that never inspired his teammates. No amount of ribbing in practice or public, no black swan / white swan comparisons, nothing lit a fire under the other Lakers. Basically, they lost the eye of the tiger.

Man, did they lose it.

I've always been a card carrying Lakers Hater. I wanted them to lose. I didn't want them to match the Celtics championship total. I didn't want Kobe to get his sixth ring or Phil Jackson to close out his career with a fourth three-peat. I wanted the Lakers to fail.

But like this? Swept. Demolished in Game 4. Meeting defeat in shame -- with cheap shots and elbows -- rather than facing it with dignity.

Look, I hate the Lakers, but I also respected them. They were champions. But, when the walls came tumbling down, they stopped acting like champions. They gave up in Game 4. They quit. They abandoned all the principles that won them back-to-back titles and started acting like a bunch of common thugs. For example:


And, not long after, this happened:


This fall from grace was about as graceless as it gets. It got to the point where Pau Gasol had to address Internet rumors about his personal life, while Jackson was forced to explain why he was smacking Pau in the chest during timeouts and had to resort to bitching about the officials. Kobe wondered out loud whether he was sick in the head for thinking his team could still win the series. Turns out, his teammates were just sick in the heart.

I mean, Andrew Bynum's post-ejection tearing off of his jersey while being escorted by the locker room by Ron Artest -- who himself had been suspended for Game 3 because he pulled a cheap shot on the same guy Bynum whacked -- was the lowest of the low moments of this series.

Championships are won. They aren't handed out because you're the best team on paper. The Lakers learned that lesson in 2008 and went on to win two titles in a row. I'm not sure what happened. Maybe Men in Black showed up and gave them a group mind wipe. "What you experienced wasn't back-to-back championships. It was swamp gas."

Bad form, Lakers. Bad form.

But you know what? A low moment for the Lakers was a high point for the Mavericks. Faily or unfairly, they have spent the past several seasons fighting a quiet war against accusations of being soft and mentally fragile. Well, they blew all those accusations to smithereens during this series. Sweet redemption after years of bitter torment. It kind of reminds me of when Phoenix swept the Spurs in the second round last year. Of course, we know how that turned out. Hopefully, the Mavs will have a better fate.

Possibly the strangest facepalm ever...
...but this is more like it.
Ron Artest, Dunk Master: Oh. My.


Kobe Byrant, quote machine: From Basketbawful reader Charles Y:


Experts: More fail from stephanie g:


The Chicago Bulls: The Bullies won Game 3 thanks to an all-out attack by Derrick Rose: 44 points (a career-high), 16-for-27 from the field, 4-for-7 from downtown, 8-for-9 at the line, 7 assists, 5 rebounds, a steal and a block. And as ESPN Stats and Information noted: "One of the more impressive aspects of Rose's performance was that he was scoring from everywhere. He scored 12 points in the paint, 12 from three-point range, and 12 from mid-range, adding eight points at the free throw line."

Rose was undeniably awesome in nearly every sense of the word. But the Bulls also dominated the glass, pulling down 18 offensive rebounds, and got great production out of their bench. And blowing out the Hawks in Atlanta just felt right.

But the performance was not repeated in Game 4. So...what happened?

For starters, Chicago's interior defense was poor. The Hawks went 22-for-34 (64.8 percent) at the rim and outscored the Bulls 56-40 in the paint. Horford was 6-for-6 at the rim. Joe Johnson was 3-for-3. Jason Collins was 2-for-2. Crawford 1-for-1. Teague was 4-for-6. Smith was 6-for-11.

Teams don't earn many wins by giving up that many good looks around the basket.

They also got shot down by Johnson (24 points, 9-for-14, 3-for-5 on threes) and picked apart by Smith (23 points, 16 rebounds, 8 assists). Smith didn’t shoot well (8-for-22), but he got to the line (7-for-9) and created extra offense though his passing and work on the offensive glass (5 offensive boards).

Overall, Chicago's defense simply wasn't that good. Atlanta finished with an Offensive Efficiency of 108.7. That’s too high for a team that relies on defense to win. Speaking of which...let's talk about their offense.

Rose finished with game highs in points (34), assists (10), free throw attempts (11) and shot attempts (32). It's that last stat that worries me. Especially considering the rest of the starting unit combined for two fewer shots than Rose took.

It's tempting to think the shot distribution wouldn't have been a big of a deal if Derrick had converted more than 12 of his attempts. But it was a big deal. And not because Rose's shot selection was terrible. After all, 22 of his 32 attempts came inside 10 feet. But he went only 6-for-14 at the rim and 2-for-8 from 3-9 feet.

To be completely honest, I thought there was a significant amount of uncalled contact on several of Rose's drives. Which isn't all that surprising, considering Hawks coach Larry Drew talked publically about his team getting more physical with Rose after Game 3. That's what happened. The Hawks forced Rose into several misses and got away with bumping him off a handful of shots that might have otherwise gone in or resulted in free throw attempts.

Said Bulls coach Tom Thibodeau: "He kept driving the ball. I'm anxious to see the replays. From my perspective, I thought he was getting fouled. Maybe he wasn't going hard enough."

But here's the thing: Even if Rose hit more shots and earned more trips to the lines, and even if the Bulls had pulled this one out, I would still have a problem with the offense. Or, at least, what it devolved into.

Here's what the Bulls offense looked like in the fourth quarter:

Carlos Boozer missed layup; Rose made 10-footer; Rose made 14-footer + 1 free throw; Rose made layup; Rose missed layup (blocked by Teague); offensive rebound; Rose missed 14-footer; offensive rebound; Rose missed 8-footer; Rose missed layup; Kyle Korver made 17-footer (Rose assists); C.J. Watson turnover; Taj Gibson 2-for-2 at the line; shot clock violation; Rose turnover; Luol Deng missed three-pointer; offensive rebound; Rose made 7-footer and the foul; Rose misses free throw; Rose made layup; Rose missed layup; Rose missed 6-footer; Rose turnover; Salvatore’s blown call; Korver missed three-pointer; Deng made layup (Rose assists); Korver turnover; Rose made layup.

In summary: The Bulls' fourth quarter offense consisted of only 2 assists (both by Rose), 4 free throw attempts, 5 turnovers and 17 field goal attempts...12 by Rose.

Said Thibodeau: "You know, when he's making the plays and he's scoring, everyone's saying how great he is. So tonight, he was aggressive. I didn't have any problem with the way he played. ... It's a make or miss league. If they go down, we're talking about the great plays and how unselfish he is."

Countered Kyle Korver: "I think when Derrick gets it going, he should shoot every time. But when it's not there, we got to work it as a team. We got to do a better job of getting open so he can see us, and he probably needs to do a better job sometimes of finding us, but it's a team thing. You can't out it on one person. Obviously, when he has it going, he is the best basketball player in the world, and we want him to take every shot that he feels like he's going to make."

Korver's right. The offense cannot become "Rose dribbles and drives while everybody else stands around watching." That's what happened in the fourth quarter of last night’s game, and it’s no wonder the Bulls scored only 19 points over those final 12 minutes. Look, Derrick has become a tremendous closer, one of the best in the game. But no matter how good he is, Most Valuable Player or not, the Bulls still need to execute an actual offense down the stretch.

That didn't happen last night. And it was costly. More so even than Bennet Salvatore's "inadvertent whistle" (see below). Much more so because officiating is out of a team's control. The way an offense runs is.

Take Boozer’s night. Carlos finally broke out of his offensive slump -- 18 points, 7-for-10 from the field, 4-for-4 from the line -- but attempted one shot in the fourth quarter. The first one, as it turned out, and he never shot again. That's ridiculous. Boozer is supposed to be the team's second offensive option. If the team isn’t going to go to him when he’s hot, when are they going to go to him? This is just a for instance. Deng is the team's third option and he took only two shots in the fourth.

Good offense requires ball movement and total involvement from all five guys on the floor. I'm perfectly okay with Rose taking 30+ shots as long as they come within the flow of the offense. When there’s no flow to the offense...that's when the problems crop up.

Everybody is at fault. Thibs is at fault for not running more plays that get players other than Rose good looks. Rose's teammates are at fault for not being more aggressive, getting open, and calling for the ball. And Rose is at fault for not generating more offense for the other guys wearing red jerseys.

It'll be interesting to see if they get it cleaned up in Game 5.

Officiating: With 2:27 left in the fourth quarter and the Bulls trailing 90-84, Derrick Rose made a nice ball fake, got Jamal Crawford into the air, and then drew obvious contact on a three-point attempt. Official Bennett Salvatore blew the whistle...

...then said it was inadvertent and ruled a jump ball. Josh Smith won the tip, Jeff Teague gained possession, and Atlanta’s possession ended with a dunk by Al Horford that increased Atlanta's lead to eight points.

That’s a big swing. It was also a bit mistake.

And Salvatore admitted as much.

Said Salvatore: "An inadvertent whistle is when a referee blows his whistle and didn’t mean to. That's exactly what happened. I blew my whistle and didn't mean to, I didn't think it was a foul. Having watched the replay after the game, it was a foul and I should have called it. I made a mistake."

He blew his whistle. But he didn’t think it was a foul. Okay.

Salvatore continued: "I blew my whistle. I was positive it was not a foul. I blew my whistle by accident. Which is an inadvertent whistle. That's why I disallowed it ... Having watched replay. It was a foul. I made a mistake. I was wrong."

Said Rose: "It's basketball. Hopefully next time they call it."

Added Bulls coach Tom Thibodeau: "At that time of the game, I've never seen that. But look, Bennett's a good official. He said he made a mistake. He's human. So that's what he did. He's a good official. He got him in the air, he came down on him. I thought it was a foul. But you know, sometimes it goes your way, sometimes it doesn’t.

You don't have to be a math major to realize how costly Salvatore’s mistake was for the Bulls. Assuming Rose hit all three of the free throws he should have gotten, the Bulls would have been down only three points with two and a half minutes remaining. Instead, after it was all said and done, they were down eight with two minutes to go.

And, watching the game, you could tell the sequence demoralized them.

If that call had been made correctly, the Bulls could have won this game. But it's not why they lost the game. They lost because they played poorly.

The Oklahoma City Thunder: If the Thunder could have scored 11 points in the fourth quarter of Game 3, they would have won and reclaimed homecourt advantage.

Instead, OKC got outscored 23-10 in the fourth and ended up losing in overtime.

The Grizzlies are brutal savages. They're a scary team, man. Never thought I'd say it, but it's true. But still...the idea that a team with Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook got held to 10 fourth quarter points after beginning the period with a 13-point lead is stunning.

Said Mike Conley: "I think once we looked up at the clock and saw how many points we were down, a little bit of desperation hit. We were like, 'Man, we cannot lose this game.' And guys amped up their game, made some changes here and there, and we were able to just be scrappy and play our game, and fortunately we got the win."

Countered Durant: "This is a tough loss. I'm trying to stay positive, but it was tough. This was tough. We were up 13 going into the fourth, had a good roll going. It was tough."

Added Thunder coach Scott Brooks: "We stopped doing [what they did for the first three quarters]. The last seven or eight minutes, we just stopped doing it, and we gave into their play. I give them credit. They really stepped up and got into us and made us take tough shots."

No kidding. From ESPN Stats and Information: "The end-of-game dynamic between Russell Westbrook and Kevin Durant reared its ugly head again on Saturday. Entering Game 3, Durant had been tremendous in the final 5 minutes of regulation and OT, shooting over 50 percent from the floor compared to just 26 percent for Westbrook. Both struggled down the stretch on Saturday, combining to go 0-10 with the lone points coming on a pair of Russell Westbrook free throws."

As a team, the Thunder shot 36 percent, with Durant (10-for-24) and Westbrook (7-for-22) shitting bricks. Westbrook has 12 assists...but he also committed 5 of his 7 turnovers in the fourth quarter and overtime before fouling out of the game.

Bonk.

By the way, according to ESPN Stats and Information, that 10 points is tied for the fourth-lowest fourth-quarter playoff point total since 2005. I'm just sayin'.

Panathinaikos basketball fans: Nobody should get shot by an AK-47 over basketball. But it happened.

Chris' Playoff Lacktion Report:

Bulls-Hawks: Omer acquired a board in 14:12, but buried it in three fouls for a 3:1 Voskuhl. Rasual Butler had 121 seconds of prime rib pricing for a 2 trillion.

Meanwhile, Atlanta's Zaza Pachulia countered a free throw and board in 9:03 with a turnover and four fouls for a 5:2 Voskuhl, and both Jason Collins (in 1:45 via two fouls) and Josh Powell (in 4:07 via brick and turnover) got +2 suck differentials, with Collins getting a 2:0 Voskuhl and Powell earning a Madsen-level 1:0 ratio.

Lakers-Mavs: Joe Smith unmightily fouled in 3:23 for a +1 and a 1:0 Madsen-level Voskuhl, while Corey Brewer matched that suck differential for Dallas in 68 seconds via brick from the Stemmons Freeway.

Thunder-Grizzlies: Daequan Cook fried up three bricks from the Sterick Building, along with two fouls, to earn a +5 in 8:15!

El (Oh El) Heat-Celtics: Von Wafer plugged in his Super Nintendo for a mere four seconds, earning a celebratory Super Mario!!!!

Bulls-Hawks: Damien Wilkins bricked once in 58 seconds for a +1 and a Mario! And as commenter Batmanu notes...

Should we make mention in the Lacktion Report that Damien Wilkins' missed FGA was on a blown dunk at the end of the first half?

Yes, we will make mention of it. :D

Labels: 2011 NBA Playoffs, Andrew Bynum WTF, Chicago Bulls, Los Angeles Lakers, Oklahoma City Thunder, Worst of the Weekend

NBA action: It's FAN-tastic.
The Chicago Bulls: A few Bulls fans got pissy with me for something I wrote in a recent ESPN 5-on-5.

The question:

"On a scale from 0 to 100, what are the Hawks' chances?"

My partial answer:

"My gut says 50 because the Hawks are such a 50-50 team: with so much potential but so enigmatic."

On my By The Horns blog, one commenter said: "There is no way you should write for the Bulls if you say the hawks have a 50 percent chance of winning this series wtf."

Look, I wasn't trying to rag on the Bulls or anything, but the Hawks are one of those trick-or-treat teams. Some nights, they look like the champions in warmups. Other nights, they look like the Clippers. That's how it is with streaky jump shooting teams. If they get hot, they can beat anybody...

...and they were hot last night.

The 120 Million Dollar Man left third degree burns all over anybody who dared guard him. Joe Cool finished with 34 points on 12-for-18 shooting, going 5-for-5 from downtown and 5-for-5 from the free throw line. Former Bull Jamal Crawford added 22 points on 8-for-16 from the field, 2-for-4 from beyond he arc and 4-for-4 from the foul line.

As a team, the Hawks went 14-for-21 at the rim (66 percent). They went 7-for-13 from three-point range (54 percent) and converted 26 of their 57 jumpers overall (46 percent). Atlanta finished with an Effective Field Goal Percentage of 55.8 percent and an Offensive Efficiency of 115.7.

That's funny. I'd heard rumors that the Bulls are the league's best defensive team.

Outside of the defense, Chicago's most significant advantage over Atlanta -- offensive rebounding -- was negated as the teams finished almost dead even in Offensive Rebound Percentage and second-chance points: Bulls 25.6 percent and 12, Hawks 25.0 percent and 11.

And, despite the presence of Derrick Rose, Atlanta finished with a higher Free Throw Rate (25.6) than Chicago (19.3).

Or maybe I should say because of Rose. If your stomach is at all queasy, I suggest not reviewing the Great Poohdini's shooting stats: 11-for-27 from the field, 2-for-7 from downtown, 0-for-0 from the free throw line.

He began the game 0-for-7. Clink. Clank. Clunk.

Rose -- who, according to a source, will be named MVP today -- had an otherwise strong game (24 points, 10 assists, 5 rebounds, 2 steals and a blocked shot). But his ankle is gimpier than the guy locked up in Zed's basement. Derrick couldn't explode into defenders to draw the contact necessary to earn a whistle. And, to make matters worse, he further tweaked the ankle stepping on Crawford's foot with only six seconds left and the game already decided.

Way too many jumpers. Not nearly enough drives.

Said Rose: "I don't know why I didn't keep attacking the basket."

It could have been, and probably was, the ankle. Of course, Atlanta had a nice game plan, too. They -- as so many teams before them -- clogged the paint and dared the Bulls to make outside shots. Chicago was decent from beyond the arc (8-for-18) but went a miserable 4-for-18 (22.3 percent) from 16-23 feet. Almost as bad was the fact that the Bulls missed 15 of their 30 attempts at the rim. Rose missed five of his nine bunnies.

Chicago's most critical failure was in intensity, especially on defense. During the regular season, this team challenged every single shot. Last night, the Hawks got pretty much any shot they wanted. During the regular season, Chicago's defense got stronger as the game went along. Last night, Atlanta scored 31 points in the fourth quarter.

Said Bulls coach and NBA Coach of the Year Tom Thibodeau: "The intensity wasn't right. The start of the game was poor in terms of ball direction, in terms of challenging shots, in terms of showing help. There wasn't one aspect of the defense that was good. They're too good of a team to play like that."

It was a stunning performance. Or non-performance, depending on your outlook. In the opening round, the Bulls were clearly caught off guard by the intensity and tenacity displayed by the Pacers. Through the first four games anyway. By Game 5, though, the team was finally ready for it. The players had taken it...now they were ready to dish it out. Which, I thought at the time, seemed like a pretty good sign for round two.

Apparently, I was way off in that assessment. In the first quarter, the Bulls played far too relaxed, like they were waiting for the game to come to them. Meanwhile, the Hawks were trying to take the game by the throat. They began the game with a 9-0 run and led 28-18 after 12 minutes.

In the fourth quarter, when Atlanta built a solid (but not insurmountable) lead, players started hanging their heads and looking beaten.

Okay, maybe it was more frustration than defeat, but it sure wasn't the "never say die" team that won 62 games during the regular season. And the fact that Rose couldn't dominate the action late in the game seemed to take the wind out of his teammates sails.

Said Joakim Noah: "It's tough when your best player is limping off the court with an injury that you know he's had before. It's tough, but right now, we have a game on Wednesday in less than 48 hours."

That's right, Jo, you guys do have a game in less than 48 hours. And you need to get your stuff together. Of course, I have to keep reminding myself that this is a young team that hasn't been tested in the playoffs yet. No amount of film study or preparation in practice can substitute for experience. The Hawks aren't as good as the Bulls...but they've been through this together.

The Bulls haven't.

And if they don't get their shit together, their playoff experience is gonna end really soon.

Update! The dickery of the Atlanta Hawks: Basketbawful reader The Other Chris:

I think this post needs a mention of Atlanta leaving tickets for Jameer Nelson, in an absolutely classic "FU" move.

I felt like crap last night and went to bed just after the start of the 3rd quarter between Chicago and Atlanta, assuming that with a 56-51 lead and all the momentum, Chicago would put the hammer down and cruise to an easy victory.

Whoops.

And the Lakers lost.

And Canada elected a Stephen Harper majority government.

A lot of crazy shit happens while you're sleeping, sometimes.

The Los Angeles Lakers: Man, the way the first half ended was so Dallas Mavericks-y that I was absolutely certain the Mavs' annual playoff meltdown was underway.

With 2:31 left in the second quarter, Jason Terry drilled a 21-footer to give Dallas a 42-39 lead. The Lakers proceeded to go on a 14-2 run that was capped off in true Mavericks fashion. First, Jason Terry fouled Lamar Odom on a half-court heave with less than a second to go.

Yes, it was a pretty bogus call, all things considered. But you know what? Let Odom chuck it from 50+ feet. Challenge but don't get in his grill. Terry got to close and the call was made. The officials reviewed the play to make sure the foul happened before time expired...and the look on Terry's face during that review was priceless. I wish I had a screen capture of it.

So Odom got three foul shots and he hit 'em all. That should have been the end of it. But, of course, it wasn't. As Dirk Nowitzki tried to block out Ron Artest, Mr. Citizenship drove his ass into Dirk's lower body, forcing him under the basket. That's a foul, by the way, because you're not allowed to push someone with inside position out of the way. No foul was called, however, and Nowitzki retaliated by swinging an elbow into Artest's back.

Tweet!

Technical foul. Kobe calmly knocked down the freebie and the half ended Lakers 53, Mavericks 44.

I genuinely thought that was the game. Forget the fact that there were 24 minutes left. This was going t be yet another example of Dallas players losing their cool and blowing a winnable game.

Only they didn't blow the game. They stole it.

After falling behind by as many as 16 points in the third quarter, the Mavs came back to life. By the end of the quarter, L.A.'s lead was down to seven. And then Dallas really turned it on in the fourth, shooting 10-for-19 from the field and outscoring the Lakers 25-16.

Oh, and Herr Dirk took a huge, steaming dump all over the "anti-clutch" tag that people (myself included) have stuck on him over the years. Nowitzki scored 11 points in the final 12 minutes and hit the go-ahead free throws with 19.5 seconds left. You wanna know how Dirk earned those free throws? Pau Gasol badly overplayed him on an inbounds pass and fouled him in a very obvious way.


Nowitzki's thespian skills helped. But still.

Gasol wasn't done effing up. On the ensuing possession, with his team down by a single point, Pau was trying to hand a pass off to Kobe Bryant when Bryant tripped over his own feet and bumped the ball on his way to the hardwood. For a second, it looked like Gasol would retain possession, but the ball squirted loose, Jason Kidd came up with it, and Gasol was forced to foul.


Kidd went only 1-for-2 at the line, giving the Lakers a chance to tie or win with a three. Kobe got wide open for a three, thank to wonderful moving pick by Andrew Bynum, but he missed.

And the Mavericks won.

Said Dallas coach Rick Carlisle: "You've got to mke plays, and you've got to dodge some bullets. We did both."

Added L.A. coach Phil Jackson: "We felt like we gave the game away. I'm not so sure Dallas didn't outplay us, but the players felt like we gave it away. ... The game was won in the third quarter when we got the lead and stopped playing defense and stopped playing offense. It took a lot of energy out of us and gave a lot of energy to them."

Countered Shawn Marion: "We did well, but I think we can do better. Is there anybody that knows we play good D?"

I guess we all know now. The Lakers shot only 42 percent and went 5-for-19 from downtown. And they scored only 16 points in the decisive fourth quarter. At home.

Of course, their offensive woes might have been because of their game plan as much as it was because of the Dallas D. According to ESPN Stats and Information:

In the first half of Game 1, the Lakers attempted 25 of their 42 field goals within 10 feet of the basket. In the second half, the Lakers stopped going inside as often, attempting 15 of their 42 field goals within 10 feet. The Lakers shot 50.0 percent within 10 feet on the game.

Andrew Bynum shot 70.4 percent (19-of-27) against the Mavericks in the regular season, but the Lakers shied away from him in Game 1. Bynum was on the floor for 59 of the Lakers' 101 possessions (58.4 pct) and had a touch on just 18 of those possessions (30.5 pct). Bynum was utilized much less frequently than his big counterpart Pau Gasol, who played 74.3 percent of the Lakers possessions and got a touch on 52.0 percent of them.

This is where I point out (once again it seems) that Kobe attempted 29 shots while the rest of the L.A. starters combined for 32. I also need to remind everybody that the Lakers didn't turn their series with the Hornets around until they started utilizing their biggest advantages. Namely, size and inside scoring.

For your reading pleasure, here's L.A.'s crunch time (final five minutes) offensive possessions.

Kobe missed three-pointer; Ron Artest offensive rebound and missed tip shot; Kobe missed jumper (blocked by Tyson Chandler); Kobe made 17-footer; Kobe missed 19-footer; Derek Fisher missed three-pointer; Lamar Odom offensive rebound; Gasol missed jumper (blocked by Chandler); Kobe made 11-footer; Kobe turnover; Gasol turnover; Kobe missed three-pointer.

29 shot attempts. 3 turnovers. 0 assists. 2-for-6 with a TO in the final five minutes. I'll let you draw your own conclusions.

Chris' Playoff Lacktion Report:

Hawks-Bulls: Kurt Thomas fouled once for a +1 in 1:58 and a 1:0 Madsen-level Voskuhl.

Mavs-Lakers: Brendan Haywood hung 100% on the field goals from one attempt) in 13:11, only to foul four times for a 4:2 Voskuhl.

Labels: 2011 NBA Playoffs, Chicago Bulls, Los Angeles Lakers, Worst of the Night

Hey, everybody. I'm hosting a fan night for my By The Horns blog this Wednesday night. I'm inviting Chicago fans out to watch Game 2 of the Hawks-Bulls series. There will be appetizers and cake. And, ahem, a cash bar.

I'm extending the invitation to Basketbawful fans.

Stocks & Blondes Bar & Grille
36 N. Wells St.
Chicago, IL 60606
7 p.m. to whenever the game ends
Map

S&B is a decent little bar in the Chicago loop with reasonably priced drinks and food that (hopefully) won't make you sick. Game 2 of the Hawks-Bulls series will be on the big screen.

If you're planning to attend, please let me know so I can try to reserve enough space.

Labels: Chicago Bulls, Fan Night

It's tough to watch such a thorough beat down of your favorite team, and even tougher to write about it afterward. So, with Bawful needing a break from a "How about those crappy Celtics?" post, it is left to me to handle the duties. So...

How about those crappy Celtics?


A left arm frowny-face tattoo is gonna look so bad. Sniff.

I had the (honor / misfortune) of actually being there (my dad came into town to treat me and my oldest son to the game) and I must say, it was a pure end-to-end crap fest from a Boston fan's point of view. Games like that are tough to interpet: How much of it was the Celtics' being flat, uninspired, not wanting to get injured, and disinterested because it's not a playoff game, and how much of it was that they were simply outclassed?

If you have the game on DVR, check this out:
There's a play that occurs just before the time out with 2:49 left in the first quarter where I think Jeff Green actually thinks he's on defense during an offensive possession. I can't confirm it - it's a close call, but I swear for a good second or two, he's actually trying to stay with his own defender. Seriously. For me, that's the only part of the game that stands out - that's how bad the Celtics were.


This was last night's rebounding:
Bulls aggressively ripping the ball away from...other Bulls.

News flash:
Derrick Rose is a beast. There were at least five plays on which the entire United Center crowd collectively twisted in their seats and threw up their arms like an entourage at a slum-dunk contest. He is the MVP, entourage homie hands down. I got into a little argument with my dad that went like this:

Evil Ted Creator (ETC): "The Bulls offense is great."
Evil Ted Creator Spawn (Evil Ted): "Well, Derrick Rose is great. The rest are good, solid role players."
ETC: "That's ridiculous. A team isn't 1 player and 4 players. It's five players."
ET: "Well, Rose is both and amazing scorer and facilitor, and if you take him off this team, it's mediocre."
ETC: "Again, ridiculous. The fact is, Derrick Rose is on this team, so you can't take him off it like you have in this fictional situation of yours. He's on it, and the offense is great."
ET (lower lip quivering): "I'm just saying..."
ETC: "As your father, I have deemed your opinion crap. My advanced years are irrefutable proof that I am correct and you are an ass. Write that in your buddy's little blog."
ET (sobbing): "Maybe...I...will."
ETC: "Go get me a hot dog...mustard, relish, onions, and Evil Ted tears on it."
ET: "I'm your son. Could you just call me Ted?"
ETC: "No. Tonight you're evil. Begone."

So if you're wondering where I get my edge from, there ya go. But I'll just work through that in therapy. Let's get back to the game...

Aaaaanyway, when a team like the Mavs give up 110 points, we at Basketbawful like to write "_allas Mavericks" to indicate a lack of D. But there's no "D" in Boston Celtics, and maybe it's appropriate that you don't have to alter their name have an absence of "D." The Celtics' Defense was abyssmal, and Rose's mastery in the lane is no more certain indicator that the Celtics will need both O'Neals healthy to make a deep playoff run.

Half time tribute to Scottie Pippen:
Bulls announcer Neil Funk introduced John Paxson, who introduced Scottie Pippen and his family, who were on hand for the unveiling of a bust of...what I can only assume is Scottie's cousin dressed in a Pippen jersey.


Scottie's Cousin Snottie

UPDATE:
D. Highmore commented: Is it wrong that the first thing to pop into my head when I saw that Pippen bust was the video for Lionel Richie's "Hello"?

At first, I thought "Is that what Lionel Richie looked like at the time?" And then I realized "Hello" was that video about the blind girl student who sculpts the face of her adoring perv teacher out of clay, and says: "This is how I see you." So fitting, D. Highmore, well done. The Pippen statue, and the student's scupture, and the music video itself all have one thing in common: being simultaneously well-intentioned and yet very, very creepy. The clay likeness of Lionel Richie rears its ugly head, literally, at the 4:56 mark, but I recommend watching this vid in its entirety for full spine-tingling impact:



Anyway, Scottie made a classy, albeit brief and generic, speech. So good for him. Being immortalized (or at least your cousin being immortalized) is awesome by any standard. Speaking of which, if any of you are sculptors, I'm looking to commission an Evil Ted bust to be unveiled this summer at LarryLand.

As for the second half, it was barely worthy of discussion:


The red hairy one played the entire fourth quarter.

It's really depressing to be at a game and realize "Well, at home, this is about the time I would turn off the TV and go do something else," but not be able to do so.

Then there's the inevitable bathroom stop after the game, and being subjected to random "Boston Sucks" and "Fuck Boston" shout outs. I wasn't wearing any Celtics regalia at the game, and generally avoid doing so. Outside this Web site, I'm not big on drawing attention to myself, particularly when said attention could result in fisticuffs with a drunken fan of an opposing team. I just smile, high five, and silently wish a slow, painful death on those around me - standard stuff.

It will be interesting to see if the Celtics have another gear for the playoffs, like they did last season. They're a veteran bunch, and the playoffs are a different animal, but by all accounts, this should have been a game where both teams were in a playoff mentality, trying to send a message to the other in anticipation of said playoffs.

Last night, both teams sent a message, but only Bulls fans went away satisfied by what they heard.

Labels: Boston Celtics, Chicago Bulls

Yikes. I think Doug's still pissed about those four-point plays...
Mavericks-Bulls: Allow me, if you will, to quote myself. From By The Horns:

It was a real defensive battle out there, folks. The kind where it looked like both teams were wading through invisible mud. Chicago hit only 36.9 percent of their shots. Dallas converted on 35.6 of theirs.

The Bulls scored 12 points in the third quarter. That represented the team’s season-low for a single quarter.

The Mavs finished with 77 points. That was their third-lowest output of the season. On December 28, minus leading scorer Dirk Nowitzki, they scored 76 points against the Raptors. On January 15, in Dirk’s first game back, they managed only 70 points against the Grizzlies in Memphis.

The teams combined for two fast break points. Chicago had none.

Nowitzki — who is a legitimate MVP candidate — went 6-for-16 from the field, missed both of his three-point attempts, and pulled down only two rebounds in 38 minutes. In case you forgot, the dude is seven feet tall and has averaged 8.4 RPG over his 13-year NBA career.

Derrick Rose had a stellar stat line: Game highs in points (26) and assists (9) to go with 7 rebounds and 2 blocked shots. Of course, he went 9-for-28 from the field, including 5-for-20 in the second half, and committed a game-high 4 turnovers.

Rose was the only Bulls player to score in double figures.

Now allow me to supplement myself. According to Hoopdata, Dallas was 5-for-12 at the rim (41.7 percent), 2-for-7 inside 10 feet (28.6 percent), 6-for-14 from 10-15 feet (42.9 percent) and 6-for-18 from 16-23 feet (33.4 percent).

Chicago was 7-for-21 at the rim (33.4 percent), including 1-for-6 by Derrick Rose and 1-for-5 by Omer Asik. The Bulls also went 4-for-10 inside 10 feet (40 percent) and 10-for-32 from 16-23 feet (31.3 percent).

My point? I'm surprised people in the United Center didn't have this reaction:


The Dallas Mavericks: The Mavs get their own entry for the way they delivered some bad news to poor Alexis Ajinca. Apparently, Dallas is working on a trade that would send Ajinca to the Raptors to create a roster spot for Peja Stojakovic without having to cut Sasha Pavlovic, whom they just signed. Ajinca was dressed and warming up at the United Center last night when Mavericks coach Rick Carlisle had to tell him to turn in his uniform and head back to the hotel.

Even to a guy like me, that's cold.

The Philadelphia 76ers: Man. Check out their last six games:

112-109 OT road loss to the Pistons
111-103 home loss to the Pacers
95-94 home win over the Bucks
96-92 OT home win over the Bobcraps
99-98 OT road loss to the Magic
100-97 road loss to the Bobcraps

Losses that were almost wins. Wins that were almost losses. But their 2-4 stretch typifies their 17-25 record and their average point differential of -0.6. On the one hand, they're losing a lot of close games. On the other hand, they're losing a lot of close games.

And it's the little, mental lapses that keep haunting the Sixers. In their previous loss, an overtime defeat in Orlando, they gave up two big four-point plays, one in regualtion and one in the OT session. Last night, they lost (in part) because they couldn't adjust to a single play.

From the AP recap:

The Bobcats' owner had to love what he saw from [Gerald] Henderson down the stretch.

Henderson, a bit player under former coach Larry Brown, has become part of the rotation though he is hardly known for his shooting. But he hit three consecutive jumpers on the same curl play from the right wing in the final 1:40. The last came with 26 seconds left to put Charlotte ahead 96-93.

"It was the same exact play all three times," said Henderson, who scored 11 points. "We call it 3-down and everybody in the NBA runs it. But it works because if you get two screens it's hard to defend. I came off ready to shoot, D.J. made a good pass every time and I just knocked the shots down."

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times...

Andre Iguodala: I don't mean to pick nits or anything, especially when the guy led his team with 19 points on 7-for-11 shooting to go along with 5 boards, 5 assists and 4 steals. But Iggy bricked a free throw that would have tied the game with 40 seconds left. Then, with 11 ticks on the clock, he shanked a jumper that would have brougth Philly to within a point.

And when you consider the fact that Andre gave up the four-point play in the fourth quarter of that loss to the Magic, well, it seems like he's kind of the Anti-Clutch...

...with all due disrespect to Vince Carter.

Doug Collins, coach of the year candidate: "It's always disappointing when you lose. I texted Michael [Jordan] the other night after they had beaten Chicago and congratulated him. He said 'Yeah, we can't beat you though.' So I'm sure Michael reached out to the guys for them to beat his old coach today. He probably gave them a little pep talk."

Ah, that Doug. He's the kind of friend you'd write a song about. I love how he loves to name drop MJ. I also love that his text might have moved Jordan to fire up his team.

The Los Angeles Clippers: Jordan Heimer of the TrueHoop Network wrote the lead story for today's Daily Dime. No, I'm not bitter he relegated my Derrick Rose piece to the second spot by writing about the Clippers' playoff chances (currently zero-ish percent). Not at all. Hey, the Clippers are 10 games below .500 and coached by Vinny Del Negro. They're obviously a bigger story than Derrick Rose and his burgeoning MVP candidacy.

I keed.

Actually, the Clippers are a big story. I know 16-26 doesn't sound all that impressive. But subtract the 1-13 start and you have a team that's...15-13. Which, again, doesn't sound all that impressive until you realize we're talking about the Los Angeles Clippers. And let's not forget the two most exciting words in the English language: Blake Griffin.

Anyway, the reason I bring this up is because people have been getting so excited about The Other L.A. Team's recent hot streak -- 11 wins in 15 games -- that people have begun talking about...the playoffs. And you know what that means:


The stat curse was in. I mean putting the words "Clippers" and "playoffs" in the same sentence...it just can't end well. Sure enough, the Clips submitted one of their patented "They are who we thought they were" performances, choking away an early 14-point lead and ultimately losing by 15. The Other L.A. Team shot missed 17 three-pointers, shot 43 percent for the game, and gave up 20 poitns off 16 turnovers. Meanwhile, the Brandon Roy-less Frail Blazers hit 56 percent of their shots. Although, about that Bradon Roy-less part...

Brandon Roy: Did you know Portland is 14-7 without Roy this season? Which means they were 10-13 with him. Huh.

Vinny Del Negro, super-exciting quote machine: "I thought the Blazers executed much better than we did, in the second half especially. Our defense was not good enough or tough enough."

Chris's amazing one-line lacktion ledger: Jason Kapono punched out 26 seconds of time for a Mario, while Eduardo Najera gathered up a 2.05 trillion (2:03) for His Airness.

Labels: Chicago Bulls, Dallas Mavericks, Los Angeles Clippers, Philadelphia 76ers, Worst of the Night

Coach 'Spo considers all possible variations of the play where (as stephani g. put it) LeBron dribbles for 20 seconds and launches a 35-foot brick.
The Chicago Bulls: Let's look at the facts.

The Bulls were playing the second night of back-to-backs and their fourth game in five nights...which started after a stretch of five games in seven nights. Chicago is without their second-best and third-best players (Carlos Boozer and Joakim Noah). Derrick Rose, Luol Deng and Taj Gibson all logged 40+ minutes the night before. Thanks to all the frontcourt injuries, poor Deng is averaging 40 MPG in January and 39+ on the season.

And did I mention that Kurt Thomas (ancient) and Keith Bogan (awful) are currently starting for this team?

Under the circumstances, last night's homecourt flameout was actually fairly predictable. Minus Boozer, the Bulls couldn't get anything going inside and couldn't protect the paint, hence Charlotte's 65 percent conversion rate at the rim (15-for-23) and 46-28 scoring advantage in the paint. Mind you, on the season, the Bobcats rank 25th in FGP at the rim (59.8).

The Bulls looked tired and were a step slow all night. They shot poorly (39 percent as a team) and couldn't take care of the ball (14 turnovers in a slow, low-possession game). What's more, Chicago gave up 25 points off turnovers, which accounted for 30 percent of the 83 points the Bobcats scored.

Some of the turnovers were just plain stupid. Guys leaving their feet and then passing with nowhere to go, or driving baseline and trying to deliver a pass through heavy traffic. Ugly stuff.

Said Bulls coach Tom Thibodeau: "You can't turn the ball over against this team. If you do, you put them in the open floor and they score easily. We created our own problems."

Outside of D-Rose (14-for-28) and Ronnie Brewer (6-for-11), the Bulls couldn't have lobbed a beach ball into the ocean.

Luol Deng went 2-for-11. Taj Gibson was 2-for-7. Kurt Thomas shot 2-for-6. Keith Bogans had his usual 1-for-3 performance. Kyle Korver, C.J. Watson and Omer Asik were a combined 3-for-11. Mind you, two of their clutch-time shots were 1) a three-pointer by Deng, who to that point was 2-for-10, and 2) a layup attempt by Kyle Korver, who was standing underneath the rim at the time (and his shot was, not surprisingly, swatted out of bounds by Tyrus Thomas).

And don't even get me started on the idiotic "and 1!" fouls the Bulls committed or the way they let 15 seconds run off the clock while down a point with 25 seconds left and Charlotte in possession of the basketball. You know what, just go read the Top 10 Things I Hated About This Game.

Charlotte's three-point shooting: From Elias Sports Bureau via ESPN Stats and Information: "From Elias: The Bobcats took 13 3-point FG attempts, and MADE ZERO. They are just the 4th team in NBA history to take at least 13 3-point field goal attempts, miss all of them, and still go on to win the game. They are only the 2nd team to accomplish the feat on the road."

Tyrus Thomas: Huh. I guess this is why he shoots so many jump shots...


Officiating: Here's one of the worst back-to-back officiating sequences you're likely to see any time soon: D.J. Augustine travels on a breakaway layup in full view of a referee who's no more than 10 feet from him and then Derrick Rose gets called for an offensive foul that couldn't have been more non-existent if it had been named "The Easter Bunny's Pet Unicorn."


By the way, check this out, from the AP game notes: "Former Bulls forward Charles Oakley is one of Silas' assistants. He amused himself during the first half by grabbing the shorts of Chicago's Taj Gibson on an inbounds play and holding on when Gibson tried to run down the court."

I'm pretty sure that's not legal. Nothing got called, tho'.

The Miami cHeat: It's official: The cHeat will not win 70 games.

I would like to thank them, however, for reaching this point with half a season to go. That way we don't have to deal with all the suspense.

What led to Miami's fourth straight loss? A brick festival by King Crab and Pookie.

From ESPN Stats and Information:

Playing without Chris Bosh for the first time this season, Dwyane Wade and LeBron James combined to go 19-of-50 from the floor in the Miami Heat's 93-89 overtime home loss to the Atlanta Hawks. The 50 field goal attempts are the most that Wade and James have combined to take in a game this season.

James took a season-high 30 field goal attempts, but shot just 36.7 percent from the floor. It was the 26th time in his career that James attempted 30 field goals in a game; however, it was the third-worst shooting percentage of his career in a game in which he took at least 30 shots.

Without Bosh on the floor, James also hoisted a season-high 10 three-point field goals, connecting on just two. This season when Bosh is on the court, James has made 40.2 percent of his three-pointers, and just 29.9 percent when Bosh is not on the floor.

The Heat also missed Bosh in their half-court offense. Miami had been shooting a respectable 44.7 percent from the floor (including 49.3 percent by Bosh), but against the Hawks on Tuesday they shot just 34.8 percent (24-69).

So there you have it: The cHeat can't win without Bosh. Who knew?

In all seriousness, we all knew the supporting cast was a problem. The three starters not named "Wade" or "James" combined for 2 points. Joel Anthony grabbed 16 rebounds but went scoreless in 43 minutes. Eddie House (12 points) and Mario Chalmers (10 points) scored in double figures off Miami's bench, but Mike Miller and Erick Dampier -- supposedly key pickups for the Heat -- both laid goose eggs.

In all, the Heat shot 36 percent as a team and gave up 25 points off 16 turnovers. And how's this for weird: Despite having two of the league's greatest players teaming up, the Heat are now 1-7 in games decided by five points or fewer. And they're 0-2 in overtime when playing at home.

Weird, huh?

Equally puzzling was LeBron's decision -- despite being icy cold -- to chuck up trey from 28 feet out at the end of regulation. Really? LeBron and D-Wade on the floor and that's the best shot the Heat could get in a tie game at home?

Oh, but 'Bron wasn't done. With the cHeat down 91-89 with seven seconds left in overtime, James again hoisted from 28 feet away from the rim. Brick. And, essentially, game over. Of course, LeBron had hit a three on Miami's previous possession. So he was hot, right?

Said James: "I had a week off and that is what happens sometimes. We had everything going and when you have a few injuries it takes the chemistry out, it takes the rhythm out of a team."

So, uh, why take all the threes, then?

Bob Rathbun, unintentionally dirty quote machine: From the Hawks broadcaster, as supplied by Basketbawful reader StottsEra: "Atlanta back doors them to death and it's a stuff for Josh Smith!"

The LeBrons: At a time when LeBron's popularity has never been lower...he and his people decide to release a Web-based cartoon starring his four alter-egos. Yeah. That should work.


This is where I bring up ProStars, a failed Saturday morning cartoon (back when kids watched cartoons on Saturday morning) that starred Michael Jordan, Bo Jackson and Wayne Gretzky at the height of their popularity. If a cartoon with Michael Jordan rescuing children from burning buildings with the help of his rocket shoes didn't make it, The LeBrons don't have a chance.

ProStars! Show staaaars!
Rashad McCants' post-NBA career: Are you ready for this? Probably not, but here goes anyway: McCants is co-producing a new Web series in which he acts alongside former underage porn star Traci Lords as...the bisexual, cross-dressing leader of a shoplifting ring. No, I am not making any of those words up, and I'm kind of hurt that you thought I was.

All I can say is: It's gonna get real muthafuckin' mythological in this muthafuckin' piece. Believe dat. As beautifully stated in the trailer. Which is NSFW. Consider yourself warned.


Update! Amar''''''e Stoudemire, quote machine: The Wisdom of Sun Tzu (via AnacondaHL): "Ladies keep them legs close, an them books open. I'm telling yall this because I care. We have to become a smarter generation."

Chris's Lacktion Report:

Hawks-El (Oh El) Heat: Josh Powell pushed away a block in 3:21 with one turnover for a 1:0 Madsen-level Voskuhl, while Jordan Crawford went all-air once from the Georgia-Pacific Tower to earn a +1 in 2:16.

For Miami's currently-freezing basketball squad, Erick Dampier took a rejection and tossed one brick in 4:40 for a +2.

Bobcats-Bulls: Matt Carroll had two seconds to ruminate over Laikatu's cloud in a Super Mario!

Labels: Chicago Bulls, Miami Heat, Worst of the Night