Finally the secret is out.
Here we at Basketbawful thought we were the ones deftly mocking the ignorance and ineptitude of many NBA basketball players. We thought in the grand scheme of things that even though we do not possess the athletic talent to play in the NBA, at the very least we can cling to our higher intellect, our superior ability to analyze and satirize.
Oh, how we have been played.
Now, our worst fears have been realized. It's all part of the endless PR campaign, the relentless effort of those in the public eye to remain relevant and hang on to our attention. Oh, how easily we were lured into the trap.
Who would have thought that such seemingly directionless people like Allen Iverson and Stephon Marbury were so savvy and manipulative?
I'll bet you Tiger Woods isn't even really screwing anyone on the side. God, that's why he's the best.
What suckers we are.
Here we at Basketbawful thought we were the ones deftly mocking the ignorance and ineptitude of many NBA basketball players. We thought in the grand scheme of things that even though we do not possess the athletic talent to play in the NBA, at the very least we can cling to our higher intellect, our superior ability to analyze and satirize.
Oh, how we have been played.
Now, our worst fears have been realized. It's all part of the endless PR campaign, the relentless effort of those in the public eye to remain relevant and hang on to our attention. Oh, how easily we were lured into the trap.
Who would have thought that such seemingly directionless people like Allen Iverson and Stephon Marbury were so savvy and manipulative?
I'll bet you Tiger Woods isn't even really screwing anyone on the side. God, that's why he's the best.
What suckers we are.
(The embedded link to this isn't working,
which I suspect may be yet another behind-the-scenes conspiracy.)
which I suspect may be yet another behind-the-scenes conspiracy.)
Labels: Allen Iverson, rant, Stephon Marbury, writer
NBA All-Star voters: It's official: Allen Iverson is a starter on the 2010 NBA Eastern Conference All-Star Team. You, the fans, wanted it...and now you're gonna get it. I just need to know one thing real quick:
Why in the name of Spiderman's balls did you want it?
When I found out Iverson had been voted in, the first thing I thought was he may be the worst NBA All-Star, well, pretty much ever. Worse than B.J. Armstrong, Chris Gatling, Dale Davis, Jamal Magloire...I had to do some serious digging to find somebody I honestly think was less deserving of an All-Star nod than this season's version of The Cancer. I found one. One guy. His name was James Donaldson. He was a backup center (behind Hakeem Olajuwon and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar) on the West team during the 1988 All-Star Game.
Don't feel bad if you've never heard of Donaldson. I was obsessed with the NBA in the 80s, and I had no idea who he was. During his sole All-Star season, J.D. averaged 7.0 PPG, 9.3 RPG and 1.3 BPG with a Player Efficiency Rating of 12.4. According to John Hollinger's reference guide, that PER puts Donaldson somewhere between "scrounging for minutes" and "in the rotation." By the way, in 1988, teams averaged over 108 PPG, which makes his meager 7 PPG average seem even more depressing.
Mind you, the coaches selected Donaldson. At least Iverson has the excuse of being voted in by the fans. Fans are stupid. Coaches are supposed to know the game. (Eddie Jordan, Mike Brown and Vinny Del Negro notwithstanding.) The only thing I can figure is that Donaldson's little girl had terminal cancer and her dying wish was for her daddy to make the All-Star team. And that's all imma say.
On the bright side, the David Stern did some last-minute ballet stuffing to make sure Steve Nash, and not Knee-Mac, got the second starting guard spot on the Western Conference team.
The Los Angeles Lakers: The Lakers are the reigning NBA champs. Do you have any idea what that's like for me? Let's just say I can totally understand what Superman felt like when stopping a volcano sent him to a parallel universe full of evil Super Friends:
On Christmas day, the Lakers were humiliated on national TV by the Cleveland Craboliers. It was a particularly humiliating defeat, not only because they were blown out at home, but because L.A. was outplayed and thoroughly outmuscled by what may be the only team capable of dethroning them in June. The regular season provides relatively few true single-game measuring sticks of a team's ability to contend for a title, but that was one of them for the Lakers.
Fortunately for them, they still had the opportunity for a rematch in Cleveland. Unfortunately for them, they lost that one too. The Lakers wasted a golden opportunity, too, because Mo Williams -- Cleveland's starting point guard and second-leading scorer -- missed the game with a shoulder sprain. (Williams will be out for at least a month.) L.A. started out hot, owning the boards and the paint, and taking a 27-18 lead after the first quarter. But after that, the Crabs got physical and slowly pounded the Lakers into submission.
Remember, this is the same Lakers team that got beaten down by a more physical Celtics team in the 2008 NBA Finals. Last season, they weren't forced to face an elite physical team in the playoffs. If they face the Crabs in the Finals, it could be a problem. Especially if Cleveland wins homecourt advantage, which will be easier now that they've swept the season series with L.A.
After the game, Kobe Bryant questioned his team's toughness: "The mentality has to change a little bit playing against [Eastern Conference teams]. These teams are physical, tough-minded, hard-nosed types of teams. That's not part of our DNA. We have to step up and match that and still play skillful basketball."
Of course, it's worth mentioning that Mamba was out-superstarred by King Crab. Bryant finished with a team-high 31 points, but he shot 12-for-31 and finished with more turnovers (3) than rebounds (2). James, on the other hand, had a game-high 37 points (13-for-25 from the field, 10-for-13 from the line) to go along with 5 boards, 9 assists, 2 steals and a blocked shot. LeBron wasn't perfect -- he had 4 turnovers and went 1-for-8 from downtown -- but he made a convincing argument for Best Player in the League status. And, more importantly, he also illustrated pretty clearly that Ron Artest isn't going to slow him down. Nobody is. He's that good. Imagine what he'd be like with a real coach who ran actual plays.
Kobe bristled at the idea that the Lakers and Crabs have a rivalry -- "No," Mamba said before the game, "not at all." -- but Cleveland has taken seven of their last games against The L.A. Team. You know that has to get under Bryant's skin. Speaking of which...
Kobe Bryant, quote machine: When asked whether he was going to talk to his team about the loss, Mamba said: "They know I'm pissed. I don't have to say anything right now." He also "joked" about strangling "every single one" of his teammates. Again, he shot 12-for-31. I'm just sayin'.
Update! Pau Gasol, the Spanish Marshmallow: As Anish noted in the comments: "how can you not mention Pau's buckle at the end of the game. He couldve tied it up, but decided to miss both free throws and on the next Lakers possession, Kobe passes it to Pau for an almost uncontested layup and manages to get blocked. Quality sequence from the big man in the fourth quarter." Cortez described Gasol's performance thusly: "He was playing like a sheet of damp (with urine) 1 ply toliet paper in the late stages."
The Cleveland Cavaliers: Before the Crabs (and the media) get too happy about this win, somebody should pose the following question: If the hometown Crabs won the rebounding battle and held L.A. to 38 percent shooting, why did the Lakers still have a chance to steal this game going into the final minute?
Mike Fratello, unintentionally dirty quote machine: Submitted by a hammered BW in Cleveland: "Pau doesn't get it up strong enough."
The Los Angeles Clippers: Despite pulling out a close win over the Bulls at home on Wednesday night, Thursday night's 105-85 loss to the Nuggets in Denver proved that the Clippers are indeed who we thought they were. Actually, this was probably a case of the dreaded back-to-back syndrome. The Other L.A. Team kept things close through the first two quarters -- they were actually up by a point at the half -- but got outscored 34-17 in the third quarter. That was pretty much the game.
Mind you, the Clippers were playing without Eric Gordon (sprained left big toe) and Sebastian Telfair (groin), both of whom got injured during the Bulls game. Not exactly the situation you want going into a season-long eight-game road trip.
Weird fact: The Clips went 1-for-17 from three (tired legs) but outscored Denver 48-28 in the paint. The Nuggets went 11-for-22 from downtown and had a 37-19 advantage in free throw attempts, which I'm sure had nothing at all to do with home cooking.
Lacktion report: Phil Jackson singlehandedly ensured Chris would have some lacktion to report:
Lakers-Crabs: Sasha Vujacic climbed up the Deadly Towers for a 13 second Mario, while DJ Mbenga countered a board with a foul and turnover for a 2:1 Voskuhl in 1:34.
Labels: All-Star Game, Allen Iverson, that's all imma say, Worst of the Night
On how much longer he'll play:
"Until I can't be Allen Iverson on the court, until I can't dominate. When you look at the scouting report and my name is not the first name, you have to stop; then it's time to go. I don't want to be an old guy sitting on the bench for a championship team. I'm not coming off nobody's bench."Sounds like something he might have said recently doesn't it? But it's not.
Iverson spoke those words to Sports Illustrated way back in April of 2007, a few months after the Philadelphia 76ers traded him to the Denver Nuggets.
At the time, Iverson also said:
"After being in Philly so long and not believing I would ever leave, the day I became a Nugget, I felt this was where I wanted to finish my career. All I see are positive things. I had a conversation with my kids [he has four in Colorado], and they said they love their school, love their classmates. Everything here seems so good."Of course, a little over a year later, everything that had once seemed so good went to hell (and by "hell" I mean Detroit). Iverson is now three cities removed from where he once wanted to finish his career. Although he is back in the original place he wanted to finish his career, so he has that going for him...which is nice.
To his credit, Iverson stayed kinda-sorta true to his word. He's not sitting on the bench for a championship team. Or a good team. Or even a halfway decent team. However, he's not exactly dominating, and I doubt he's been the first name on any scouting report for a while. But at least he still has, you know, his pride.
Bonus bawful! Fill in the blanks on Iverson's infamous "practice" rant! [via the Basketball-Reference Blog]
Labels: Allen Iverson, Classic quotology
So the Canswer hasn't played for Denver in about two years now, which is pretty much the last time he may ever taste playoff action in his life.
But there are plenty of people who still remember those days of mild postseason success, as opposed to his journeyman tenures in Detroit and Memphis, or his current role as a ticket-selling attraction in the City of Brotherly Love (serving the same role that $1 Beer Night is slated to play for Sacramento's ESPN appearance in a few days!!!!). And some of those folks even went international, as seen below...
Apparently Iverson-related attire made some strides in Hong Kong, home of the Apple Daily animated news service. You may have heard of those folks in recent days, as they are responsible for the hillarious series of Tiger Woods-related reenactments (warning: some NSFW) that have come in the wake of the golfer's car accident and subsequent messy personal revelations.
While the Apple Daily folks pride themselves on excessive amounts of detail, let's just say they probably needed a magnifying glass to capture the oh-so-difficult nuances of a Nuggets jersey, judging from how off they ended up being in this video reenacting the aftermath of a local pickup game:
After last night's humiliating defeat to the Oakland County Pistans, Jorge Carl and Choncey Bellups could really use Alan Iversan right now in the Kilometre-Hi City, right!??!?!
But there are plenty of people who still remember those days of mild postseason success, as opposed to his journeyman tenures in Detroit and Memphis, or his current role as a ticket-selling attraction in the City of Brotherly Love (serving the same role that $1 Beer Night is slated to play for Sacramento's ESPN appearance in a few days!!!!). And some of those folks even went international, as seen below...
Apparently Iverson-related attire made some strides in Hong Kong, home of the Apple Daily animated news service. You may have heard of those folks in recent days, as they are responsible for the hillarious series of Tiger Woods-related reenactments (warning: some NSFW) that have come in the wake of the golfer's car accident and subsequent messy personal revelations.
While the Apple Daily folks pride themselves on excessive amounts of detail, let's just say they probably needed a magnifying glass to capture the oh-so-difficult nuances of a Nuggets jersey, judging from how off they ended up being in this video reenacting the aftermath of a local pickup game:
After last night's humiliating defeat to the Oakland County Pistans, Jorge Carl and Choncey Bellups could really use Alan Iversan right now in the Kilometre-Hi City, right!??!?!
Labels: Allen Iverson, animated, are these guys for real, cartoon, Comic Relief, Denver Nuggets, funny, international relations, pick-up ball, pickup basketball, spelling fail, weird foreign guys
Chicago weather: Let's see...9 degrees with -22 wind chill. Want to know what my walk to work from the train station was like? Then fast forward to the 3:40 mark of this video. Seriously, my morning has become a bad Arnie one-liner.
It's like the Bulls' epically bad shooting has caused an unearthly cold to descend upon the city. Speaking of which...
The Chicago Bulls After last night's apocalypse in Atlanta, the Bulls have lost five straight games and nine of their last 10 overall. Their only victory in that stretch was against a Detroit Pistons team that had fewer fresh bodies than your average morgue. I understand this team is lacking in offensive firepower, but where has the defense gone? In their first 10 games, the Bulls surrendered 100 points only once. At that point, they were ranked a very impressive 4th in Defensive Rating. Since then? Check out the points Chicago has given up in the last 10 games: 108, 112, 122, 105, 99, 85, 101, 110, 103, 118. Now they’re ranked 20th in Defensive Rating. And that number doesn’t even reflect their defensive fail against the Hawks.
But Vinny Del Negro isn't worried about his job.
Of course, the Bulls haven't quit on Vinny so much as given up on themselves. Seriously, this group of sadsacks looks as defeated as the Nyets did on the night they hit 0-18. If New Jersey can keep fighting despite all they've been through, why not the Bulls?
Vinny Del Negro: If you want to take this entry as an answer to that last question, go for it. By the way, did I mention he's not worried about his job? Job security is all about results. This 10-game festival of fail represents 1/8th of Chicago's season. Mind you, I'm a technical writer. So let's assume that I spent the next 45 days -- which, unless I'm the worst mathematologist in the world -- is 1/8th of my working year -- turning in all my assignments (user guides, help text, technical notes, functional specifications, and so on) written in crayon on giant stone slabs. Only instead of actual instructions on how to use software, the stone slabs were covered in dirty jokes and pictures of boobs.
I think I'd be a little worried about my job after that. Don't you?
Kirk Hinrich: He missed several games with a sprained left thumb -- he's a right-handed shooter, by the way -- before returning last night for a zero-point, 0-for-9 performance. It's like the Sprained Thumb Fairy showed up in the middle of the night to replace his hands a pile of wet spaghetti. The sad thing is, that misguided shooting performance will barely affect his average, which was already a lowly 36 percent.
The Indiana Pacers: This season, Greg Oden has been like the cursed Tiki idol from that old Brady Bunch episode.
I mean, Portland's injury problems have gotten so bad that even their coach blew out his right Achilles' tendon at practice and had to have surgery. But the Danny Granger-less Pacers were the perfect prescription for what's been ailing the Blazers. Even though Portland only had nine players available for last night's game, Indy still lost by double-digits at home. It was their sixth straight loss...and that streak could get pretty long with Granger out. Maybe somebody gave the Pacers a Tiki idol too...?
Dean Demopoulos, quote machine: Portland's assistant coach, who's currently filling in for the recovering-from-surgery Nate McMillan, is one serious quote machine. Regarding his boss, Dean said: "Even when I was young enough, I wasn't good enough. I'm 10 or 11 years older than Nate. I'd blow both Achilles' out." Then, regarding Brandon Roy: "I could almost fall asleep when he's got the ball. That's how comfortable I feel with him. He always comes through." I hope Nate gets better soon and everything, but I hope it's not too soon. Demopoulos is on a roll.
The Philadelphia 76ers: It seems fitting somehow that in his first game back with the Sixers, Allen Iverson got to lose to his second team, and in his second game back he got to lose to his third team. And mind you, his third team -- the Detroit Pistons -- was missing three of its four best players (Ben Gordon, Rip Hamilton and Tayshaun Prince). Iverson went 3-for-10 and committed a game-high 6 turnovers, and freaking Kwame Brown (11 points, 5 boards) almost outplayed the entire Philly bench (12 points, 5 boards). And this happened in Philadelphia! Make it 11 straight losses for the Sixers.
The Not Answer strikes again.
And, according to the AP recap: "New Jersey and Minnesota are the only teams with worse records than the Sixers. The Sixers haven't won since Nov. 18 vs. Charlotte and they've lost by five or less points six times during the skid." But according to Iverson: "It's going to get better. This is one of those times when you find out what type of character you have as men." So says the guy who quit on his last two teams because he didn't want to come off the bench.
The New Jersey Nyets: If you honestly wondered whether the Nyets could recapture the magic they had against the craptacular Bulls, the answer -- and this really should have been obvious, shouldn't it? -- was:
So, really, the Nyets' 105-89 home loss to the Golden State Warriors was surprising only if you're a space alien who had never watched "The Basketball" before. And if that's the case, welcome to Earth, strange friends from afar! Please don't vaporize us with your Vaporizer Rays! We have so much to give your culture. Like Bacon Salt and Internet porn!
Said Devin Harris: "We made a lot of mental mistakes tonight. We came in and talked about what they do well. They create turnovers, they score off their turnovers, they're a fast-break team. We got a little bit careless with the ball and that led to a lot of uncontested layups and we kind of dug ourselves a hole." Oh! That's why the Warriors score 30 points off your 22 turnovers! Who knew taking care of the basketball was so important. Other than "everybody" that is.
The Toronto Raptors: Another night, another defensive fail for the Craptors. This team gives up points like the lives of their loved ones depend on it. On average, Toronto gives up almost 109 PPG. Well, they outdid themselves against the Bucks in Milwaukee, surrendering 117 points on 52+ percent shooting. The 22-point blowout came against a Bucks team that had dropped four in a row and eight of 10 overall. The Craptors are like a necromancer bringing dead offenses back to life.
Chris Bosh, quote machine: After the 117-95 loss, the RuPaul of Big Men said: "We gave ourselves a chance, but we didn't stick to our principles." Ooookay...?
Ersan Ilyasova: He just looks so silly.
Jonny Flynn: I'll give the rookie credit: he stood up to Chris Paul and his team was up by a point with 3.9 seconds to go. Sure, they had choked away a 16-point lead, but it really looked like the Timberpups were going to pull some fat out of the fire. Well, that sizzling sound you hear? It's their fat in the fire. Flynn committed a major defensive fail by turning his head after CP3 inbounded the ball to David West, which allowed Paul to streak to the hoop, receive a backdoor pass from West, and lay in the game-winner with 1.4 seconds left. Whoops.
Said Flynn: "We should have got this win tonight. I'll take some of the blame on that last backdoor cut." You'll take some of the blame, Jonny? Well, that's mighty gracious of you.
The Cleveland Cavaliers: So much for coming back strong after losing to the Grizzlies, huh? The Crabs got a little lesson in defensive tenacity from the All-Star-less Rockets, who forced 20 turnovers, frustrated Mike Brown into a two-tech ejection, and held Cleveland to a season-low-tying 85 points. Other than LeBron James (27 points on 8-for-21 shooting), no other Crabs starter made it to double digits.
King Crab, who hasn't been doing much dancing lately, said: "We just can't have unforced turnovers. You have to take pride in avoiding them and we didn't." Statistical note: James had a game-high 5 TOs. There's no "me" in "we," but there should be in LeBron's case. Maybe James should do the dance of shame.
The San Antonio Spurs: I know a win's a win and all that, but I'm not sure the Spurs should feel very confident about beating the Kings last night. Remember: San Antonio's championship teams have always been based on a relentless and stifling defense. Last night's 12-point win, on the other hand, was accomplished by seeing who could outscore who. Despite getting into town late after a tough loss in New Orleans the night before, the Kings shot over 52 percent as a team, had 62 points in the paint, got 24 points on the fast break, and finished with 106 points on the night. Meanwhile, the Spurs had to shoot 55 percent and go 8-for-9 from downtown just to outpace the feisty Sactowners.
Manu Ginobili may still be sporting the ugliest bald spot in the league, but he knows what's what: "A team that has come from New Orleans last night should have been more tired
than us, but they ran more." Yeah...what's up with that, Manu? I mean, should Beno Udrih and Omri Casspi be able to come off the bench and combine for 35 points on 16-for-25 shooting against a Popovich defense?
The Utah Jazz: The Jazz had a Memento moment last night. I mean, short term memory loss is the only reason I could come up with for why they forgot to show up for the fourth quarter of their game against the Lakers. Utah scored 6 points -- that's right, 6 points -- on 2-for-18 shooting in that Fourth Quarter of Doom. Mind you, the Jazz were only down by two points after three quarter, but ended up losing 101-77.
For some perspective on this dubious accomplishment, the Jazz became the ninth team in the shot clock era to score 6 or fewer points in the fourth quarter. HISTORIC FAIL.
Said Jerry Sloan: "They came out and just destroyed us. We were hanging in the ballgame, but that just shows you what a great team they have. ... We have to learn to stay within what we are trying to do. You can't go out and play street basketball against this team. They will annihilate you."
Fun fact: The Lakers have won 10 games in a row and are 17-3 overall. However...they've played only four road games so far this season with only three sets of back-to-back games (the last of which came against the Warriors/Nyets poop-and-vomit combo). I guess there really is no place like home.
Kosta Koufous: Reid S. send in this truly bawful sequence for poor Kosta:
Tim Thomas: So...Timmy T. was somehow involved in a brawl -- at Denny's of all places -- in which chairs were thrown, tables were knocked over and police had to be called in. I know people were kinda hurt and everything, but still...best night at Denny's ever, right?
Fun fact: Did you know that Thomas has earned almost $100 million in salary over his career? Yeah. If I ever write a suicide note, you've just read the first line.
Lacktion report: Fresh off yet another purple pauper Loss That Ain't As Bad As Others, Chris is back on the lack track:
Pistons-Sixers: Detroit's DaJuan Summers warmed up to a foul in 2:20 for a +1 suck differential. In response, Philadelphia's Royal Ivey decreed a +3 in 1:37 via brick, foul, and giveaway.
Warriors-Nyets: Sean Williams countered two boards with a pair of turnovers and a trio of fouls for a 5:2 Voskuhl in 6:14, while fellow ruble-rouser Tony Battie earned a +2 via masonry in 4:31
Raptors-Bucks: Rasho Nesterovic made one field goal in exactly 13 minutes as starting center, only to take a rejection and three fouls for a prehistoric 3:2 Voskuhl.
Hornets-Wolves: Hilton Armstrong checked himself past the vestibule of Voskuhls with three fouls and a turnover in 5:04 against two boards for a 4:2 ratio.
Kings-Spurs: Ime Udoka made bank tonight with a 2.7 trillion (2:42) for the purple paupers, while San Antonio's Malik Hairston went nostalgic by sneaking through a level of Metal Gear for 22 seconds, resulting in his second Mario in two games.
Crabs-Rockets: Jawad Williams was one tick of the clock away from pinching out a fortune, but instead had to get back into the Mushroom Kingdom to collect gold coins in a 59 second Mario. Meanwhile, Chase Budinger pursued a spot as Clutch the Bear's human victory cigar with an incredible statline of SEVEN bricks (twice from One Shell Plaza, followed by another pair from the charity stripe!!!) and a rejection for a +8 in 8:04, good enough to tie the Nyets' Terrence Williams for the highest single-game suck differential this season!!!!!
Jazz-Lakers: Kosta Koufos took down three boards in 4:14, but in an evening in which Utah went from very competitive in three quarters to near-complete silence in the fourth, giving up the rock three times and fouling twice led to a 5:3 Voskuhl. With the reversal in fortune complete, Phil Jackson was able to summon Josh Powell as tonight's human victory cigar, bricking once for a +1 in 2:04.
Labels: Allen Iverson, Chicago Bulls, Cleveland Cavaliers, crappy weather, Denny's, Indiana Pacers, Lebron James, New Jersey Nets, Toronto Raptors, Vinny Del Negro, Worst of the Night
Update! I totally forgot to mention the Bryon Russell versus Michael Jordan one-on-one hoax. They say there's no such thing as bad publicity. Well, this sort of proves that wrong, doesn't it? According to the AP writeup: "More than 7,500 fans showed up hoping to see Jordan play 1-on-1 against former Utah Jazz guard Bryon Russell at halftime.
... Fans caught on when the impostor trotted on to the court at halftime and started booing, then leaving."
Whoop.
Utah Flash owner Brandt Andersen -- who acknowledged sending a Jordan lookalike around town Monday, when supposed "Jordan" sightings and an Internet video of the impostor eating at a local restaurant created buzz that Jordan really was in town -- tried to cover his butt by saying: "This was done in fun. If you did not see it as fun or you feel we went over the top I am sorry. ... We wanted to test the strength and effectiveness of viral media by putting him out in Provo with bodyguards, and some hype. I always assumed it would be uncovered very quickly that it was a hoax."
I'm pretty sure he must have realized otherwise when all those extra fans showed up for the game. That would have been a good time to mention to the crowd that the whole event was faked. Waiting until halftime to surprise them? Bad move. It's enough to make me consider changing the term "bush league" to "D-league."
The Philadelphia 76ers: It was almost like Allen Iverson never left the City of Brotherly Love. He got a sold-out stadium, a video tribute, a standing ovation, big minutes (38) and, of course, another loss.
Said the Not Answer: "I just felt like I was back home. It was deja vu. Just a real good feeling."
That's probably a sign of how things have gone in Iverson's life as of late: a double-digit loss at home -- his old/new team's 10th straight defeat -- left him with a real good feeling.
Iverson's return led to some inspired defense -- the Sixers held the Nuggets to 39 percent shooting and Carmelo Anthony scored a season-low 14 points on 5-for-21 shooting -- and some inspired offense from Andre "The Other A.I." Iguodala (31 points on 11-for-21 shooting). But neither those things nor Iverson's reasonably decent contributions (11 points on 11 shots and 6 assists) could prevent the Sixers from losing for the 14th time in their last 16 games.
So...what's wrong this team? Said Iverson: "I haven't been here long enough to put a finger on one or two things [wrong]. Tonight, with the way the guys competed, I don't know how they lost nine games in a row. I couldn't see it, not from the team I was playing with tonight. We’ll get it together, believe me." In related news, I have real estate in the Smurf Village for sale. It's cheap! It's Smurfy! E-mail me...
Take note that Chauncey Billups -- the man who got trades away from the Pistons for Iverson -- scored 31 points (8-for-15 from the field, 4-for-6 from downtown, 11-for-11 from the line) to go along with 8 rebounds and 8 assists. Billups probably would never admit it, and he really is in a better place now considering Detroit's problems, but I'd be willing to bet this was a semi-revenge game for him.
Fun fact! The last time Philly had a 10-game losing streak was from November 24th, 2006 to December 20th, 2006. It was during that fail fest that Iverson demanded -- and received -- a trade. At the time, Iverson said: "I'm very happy about the trade. Denver's style of play fits my strengths. I'm looking forward to playing with Carmelo, the rest of the Denver Nuggets, and for George Karl, who is a proven winner." Added Nuggets vice president of player personal Rex Chapman: "I talked to Allen and he's ecstatic. We hope to have him here tomorrow. Allen has proven that he's a winner. We think they're going to be a dynamic duo [Iverson and Anthony] together and take this franchise to new heights."
Nuggets coach George Karl went on to say: "I think we need better chemistry on my basketball team. I think we need more leadership. I think we need more emotional maturity, I think we need some mental toughness, some intensity, an every game, every possession mentality." Turns out Karl was exactly right. Only it was Billups, and not Iverson, who eventually provided all that. And after Iverson was traded, Karl said: "There are less bad plays, more solid plays. I think the wasteful, cheap possessions that we used to have 10 to 15 a game, they don't exist very much anymore. Sometimes I saw something, but I couldn't get it done on the court because I didn't have a playmaker out there." Mind you...Iverson had been his point guard during that era of wasteful, cheap possessions.
The San Antonio Spurs: Okay, seriously, what's going on here? I see Timmy Duncan, Tony Parker and Manu Ginobili all in uniform. I see the restocked shelves (Richard Jefferson, Antonio McDyess, DeJuan Blair, Theo Ratliff). Last night, I even saw a career-best 28-point explosion off the bench from...Matt Bonner?! Yes, Matt Bonner, who went 10-for-14 from the field and 4-for-7 from downtown. (It is uncertain, even now, whether the Jazz are aware that Bonner actually plays for the Spurs or was in fact on the court last night.) Of course, what I haven't seen is the classic Spurs defense. We certainly didn't see it in Utah against the Jazz, who canned 53 percent of their shots and 63 percent of their treys while outscoring San Antonio 52-32 in the paint. Mind you, this is the same Jazz squad that lost to the Minnesota Timberwolves on Saturday.
Utah has won three straight against the Spurs this season, which makes it the first time the Jazz have won the season series versus San Antonio since the 1997-98 season. The Spurs are now 9-9, including only 1-5 on the road. They aren't allt aht bad on offense (currently 9th in Offensive Rating), but their strictly middle of the pack on defense (14th in Defensive Rating). These aren't your big brother's Spurs.
The Spurs also ran an, er, questionable crunchtime play...
Update! The Spurs' local broadcasters: From NarSARSsist: "By the way. Speaking of the Spurs game. I don't know if anyone else here gets local broadcasts of the Spurs, but my god is Sean Elliott biased. Every time the whistle is blown, it has to be against the other team, or it's a bad call. When Timmy drove at the basket near the end of the game and drew a foul on Okur, the color commentators exclaimed "FINALLY!" At that point the Spurs had taken 29 free throws to the Jazz's 11. In addition, yoikes is this man beyond Waltonian in his praise of the Spurs. On the Spurs' final possession, in which Bonner had the ball, dribbed, then drove off a Duncan pick and lobbed a wild, contested 13 foot (underhand?) floater, he said: "Oh man, that was so close! You just can't ask for more than that. This was Matt Bonner at his best, taking it to the rim." Really Sean? I bet every team quakes in fear when they see the Red Rocket with boosters on full. I can appreciate a little bias, wanting your team to win and do well, especially when you're doing local coverage, but come on...this is getting ridiculous."
The Golden State Warriors: So, uh, how's that Stephen Jackson trade working out for you guys? The Warriors may have dumped their disgruntled forward on the Charlotte Bobcats, but their fortunes have not improved. They've lost four straight and six of seven. And against the Thunder in Oklahoma City, they scored a season-low 88 points. Run-and-fun has given way to shuffle-and-suffer. Monta Ellis got all the shots his heart could desire (28 plus eight free throw attempts) but also had trouble holding onto the ball when he wasn't shooting it (a game-high 9 turnovers). Vladimir Radmanovic went 1-for-9. Corey "Bad Porn" Maggette inspired a 16-5 Thunder run by earning a double-tech ejection in the third quarter. And the Warrior _efense let rookie James Harden leap up off the Oklahoma City bench to score a career-high 26 points (thank to a 13-for-14 performance at the free throw line). Oh, and the Thunder beat the Warriors up on the boards (57-37).
Maybe if Andris Biedrins didn't have that, ahem, "strained groin," the Warriors could have pulled down a few extra rebounds. And maybe if they didn't suck, they wouldn't suck.
Good news for the Golden Staters: They may be headed out East for a four-game road trip, but their facing The Sub-.500s: New Jersey, Chicago, Detroit and Philadelphia. It almost doesn't get more cup-cakey than that. Of course, the Warriors will probably let every one of those teams score 100+ points...
The Portland Trail Blazers: Ugh. Ugh, I say. Apparently, the loss (again) of Greg Oden was a bigger blow to the Blazers than we could have imagined. Portland scored only 84 points against one of the league's great defenseless teams. Eek. It was only the fifth time in 22 games that the Bricks have held a team below 100 points. Double eek. Despite the absence of their big man, the Blazers had an edge in shooting (47 percent to 41 percent), rebounding (41-37) and points in the paint (34-24). It was actually all the non-Oden areas that killed Portland. They went only 1-for-8 from beyond the arc. Their playmaking below average (only 13 assists on 31 field goals). Their ball control was turrible (19 turnovers for 26 points going the other way). And they let "Big Shot" Larry Hughes score 21 points off the Bricks bench, thanks in part to 4-for-8 shooting. I understand not getting a hand in Larry's face -- I mean, you want Larry Hughes shooting the ball, right? -- but still.
Of course, the Blazers were missing more than just Oden's ancient, shambling body. Also missing were Rudy Fernandez (sciatic pain), Travis Outlaw (broken left foot) and Nicolas Batum (right shoulder surgery). Hell, even coach Nate McMillan was absent after having surgery on an Achilles tendon he ruptured during practice last Friday. (Must have been a rough practice!) What's going on with these guys? Maybe it's the Curse of Walton.
Eddy Curry: from the AP game notes: "Knicks center Eddy Curry was back in uniform but didn't play after he was inactive for the last seven games because of a sore left knee. He wasn't expected to suit up again until the Knicks visit New Orleans on Friday so he could get some practice time first." Remember when Isiah Thomas "stole" Curry from the Bulls? That's like handing a mugger a ticking time bomb.
"Funny" domestic violence against men: Yeah, I know. This has nothing to do with basketball, per se. But it does kinda-sorta involve Bill Simmons, and he recently wrote a book about basketball. So there. There's your tie-in.
I'm sure you've already heard or read about the sad tale of Tiger Woods and his "transgressions." Well, in his latest column, Bill Simmons let his wife, the Sports Gal, weigh in on the subject. Here's what she had to say:
"Everyone is talking about Tiger the spineless cheater. I would like to talk about his wife, Mrs. Tiger, the former nanny from Sweden. Bill and I were at dinner when news broke about the 'incident.' Bill shrewdly predicted that she attacked the car and that's why Tiger crashed. I told Bill that if he ever cheated on me, I would do the same thing she did, only I would attack the car with his League of Dorks trophy and keep hitting him with it until he stopped breathing. I then tweeted this so he knew I was serious.Now, just for fun, let's spin things around:
"Now Mrs. Tiger is being portrayed as a crazy loon. Isn't she a hero? Did you see the parade of skanks that Tiger cheated on her with? Each one looked like she came with her own pole and lip plumper. Mrs. Tiger could have looked the other way and said, 'I am just lucky to live in America in this big mansion with my wealthy and famous husband who wins many golf tournaments. I will get back at him by having sex with cabana boys and masseurs.' Instead she stood up on behalf of women everywhere. Just because you are rich, famous and successful doesn't mean you get to humiliate your wife and kids.
"I wish Mrs. Tiger would admit what she did, if she did anything. She won't because Florida has strong domestic violence laws. California does not. If Bill ever follows Tiger's skank-chasing footsteps, I am going to beat him to death with his 2.8-pound book, while also having sex with cabana boys and masseurs. There will be no mystery about what happened. That's my Great Call of the Week."
"Everyone is talking about Mrs. Tiger the spineless cheater. I would like to talk about her husband, Tiger, the former golf champ. The Sports Gal and I were at dinner when news broke about the 'incident.' The Sports Gal shrewdly predicted that he attacked the car and that's why Mrs. Tiger crashed. I told the Sports Gal that if she ever cheated on me, I would do the same thing she did, only I would attack the car with her favorite pair of high heel shoes and keep hitting her with them until she stopped breathing. I then tweeted this so she knew I was serious.Tell me Bill Simmons wouldn't get fined, suspended or maybe even fired for that.
"Now Tiger is being portrayed as a crazy loon. Isn't he a hero? Did you see the parade of beefcakes that Mrs. Tiger cheated on her with? Each one looked like he came with his own tear-away shirt and a bottle of baby oil for his rock-hard abs. Tiger could have looked the other way and said, 'I am just lucky to be a wealthy and famous husband who wins many golf tournaments. I will get back at her by having sex with nameless skanks everywhere I go.' Instead he stood up on behalf of men everywhere. Just because you are a foreign trophy wife doesn't mean you get to humiliate your husband and kids.
"I wish Tiger would admit what he did, if he did anything. He won't because Florida has strong domestic violence laws. California does not. If the Sports Gal ever follows Mrs. Tiger's beefcake-chasing footsteps, I am going to beat her to death with her 50-pound makeup table, while also having sex with nameless skanks. There will be no mystery about what happened. That's my Great Call of the Week."
Mind you, this is nothing against Simmons and his wife. (Although I don't remember the Sports Gal writing anything witty when Ron Artest or Delonte West were accused of domestic violence.) They provide just one of many examples. I heard about a dozen variations of that same speech in my office last week. Almost every woman there -- even the single ones -- described in vivid, bloody detail the horrors they would visit upon their husbands or would-be husbands if they ever caught them cheating. Usually while laughing and high-fiving each other.
I don't think it would go over so well if, for instance, me or Evil Ted suggested we'd murder an unfaithful wife.
This isn't a new phenomenon. People laughed their asses off when Tonya Harding was arrested for throwing a hubcap at her former boyfriend. A few years ago, there was a Miller Lite commercial in which a group of women were discussing potential punishments for a cheating boyfriend. One of them (somewhat ironically) fantasized about hitting a golf ball into the dude's man region. Another imagined him getting struck by lightning. The final woman daydreamed about a piano falling out of the sky and crushing him into a gooey paste. Why? Because violence committed against men -- those lying, cheating men -- is funny!
Just this past weekend, Saturday Night Live aired a rather humorless skit about Woods suffering progressively worse beatings at the hands (and golf clubs) of his wife. But here's the best part: that skit is "drawing some criticism, not for ripping on Tiger, but for being insensitive about domestic abuse on the same show that Rihanna was the musical guest." Yeah. That Rihanna. So it's okay to play Tiger getting his ass kicked by his wife for lols...but we shouldn't under any circumstances take the chance of reminding a woman that she was once the victim of domestic violence.
Dandy.
Lacktion report: Unlike Iverson, Chris doesn't need lots of minutes and shots to provide his daily lacktion report:
Nuggets-Sixers: Jason Kapono bricked four times in 8:51 (twice from the Comcast Center) and added two fouls as well for a +6 suck differential, capping a bawful night for the Philly bench which saw all five reserves score a combined 2 points!!!
Spurs-Jazz: Malik Hairston played a round of Donkey Kong Jr. Math and found that yes, indeed, 44 seconds is still short enough for a Mario!
Labels: Allen Iverson, Golden State Warriors, New York Knicks, Portland Trail Blazers, San Antonio Spurs, Utah Jazz
In case you haven't seen this already, you should watch it before reading on:
If you read this site regularly, then you already know how critical I am of Allen Iverson. I simply don't believe he ranks among the greatest players of all time. Not in the top 50 anyway. I think he's a careless, inefficient shooter who needs to dominate the basketball to be effective, and his effectiveness (read that, ball hoggery) has often come at the expense of his teammates. Furthermore, his "defense" consists of gambling for steals and getting pushed around/shot over by bigger guards (which is just about every guard).
You can disagree with me all you want, but bigtime scorers -- and Iverson ranks pretty high in the league's all-time scoring list -- usually don't languish away, alone and unwanted, when they hit free agency. Not when they clearly have something left in the tank. But that's exactly what happened to Iverson last summer, and it happened with good reason. The lowly Memphis Grizzlies were the only team eventually willing to give him a chance, and he played exactly one game for them before stirring up controversy about having to come off the bench. Forget the fact that he was both out of shape and returning from an injury that had prevented him from playing and practicing with his teammates during the preseason.
He didn't get it. He's never gotten it. Not really. Not fully.
Now he's back with the Philadelphia 76ers, the team that drafted him and helped him reach MVP status. Sure, the Sixers only had one great season during the Iverson era. But the team's failings were often foisted on his teammates. And the feeling was that, if Iverson could only be surrounded by other talented, proven players, that he would finally become the consistent winner everyone expected him to be. Well, he got his chances, but things didn't work out with the Nuggets (who traded him for Chauncey Billups and immediately became a better team) or the Pistons (whose fall from grace after acquiring Iverson was as shocking as it was immediate). By the end of his time in Detroit, the Pistons didn't even want him around...and by the end of the season he had been exiled.
So yes, he has an MVP and a trip to the Finals. But the rest of the evidence against him is pretty damning.
But that brings us back to that video of his press conference. I have and will always question Iverson's relative greatness, but I will not (nor could I reasonably) question his passion and desire for the game. Iverson is a warrior. He's tough. He's mean. When he's on the court, Iverson has the eyes of a killer. A.I. wants it. You can tell he wants it, wants to win, wants to be appreciated and loved. And he can play! The dude can score and create with the best of them.
That's what's so galling about Iverson. He has everything you want, every talent necessary for the game of basketball (if not the size). He has everything...except that fundamental understanding of what it takes to succeed. Sacrifice. Not sacrifice of body and effort. Iverson has sacrificed himself physically as much or moreso than anybody. I'm talking about sacrificing shots, sacrificing touches, sacrificing the role (starter) and minutes (lots of him) he wants for the betterment of the team. In Iverson's world, it has always been His Way or No Way. That's the real reason nobody wanted him over the summer. That's why nobody wanted him all that badly when the Grizzlies waived him. Sure, the Knicks were interested -- they're about as hapless as a team not named "The New Jersey Nets" or "Minnesota Timberwolves" can get -- and now the Sixers have signed him.
But what does that mean?
Philly is 5-14 and they've lost eight games in a row. (Although they've had a brutal schedule that's included games against the Cavs, Celtics, Hawks, Mavs and Spurs.) Do they think A.I. can fix them? Well, with Louis Williams out two months with a broken jaw, the Sixers can use some relief at point guard. But he's a temporary fix at best, a stop gap more than The Answer. But it's more likely that bringing Iverson back is a public relations move. It's the return of a former hero for what could amount to a retirement tour. That's sure to distract fans from all the losing...not to mention Elton Brand's cap killing contract.
It's possible Iverson's return could give the Sixers a mini-boost. Although their upcoming schedule is pretty tough: at Charlotte (the 'Cats are 6-3 at home), then home against the Nuggets, Pistons, Rockets, Warriors and Cavs, and then they play seven of their next eight games on the road...a stretch that starts in Boston and ends in Denver. Fortunately, Philly gets to play the injury-plagued Pistons, the defenseless Warriors, theWizards Generals and Clippers (twice) during that stretch. So who knows? Maybe Philly can go .500 during Iverson's first 20 games or so. Maybe.
I have to admit, I feel genuinely bad for Iverson. I really don't believe his inefficiency (at best) and selfishness (at worst) is intentional. He simply doesn't know any other way. It's the story of the Scorpion and the Frog all over again: it's his nature. Maybe it's because his coaches never stood up to him early on. The only coach that ever tried the tough love angle with A.I. was Chris Ford. Want to know how that turned out? (Well, before Ford got fired, anyway.) "This led to a number of contentious incidents, including Iverson being suspended for missing practice, fined for failing to notify Ford that Iverson would not attend a game because he was sick, and refusing to play in game because he felt 'insulted' that Ford wanted Iverson to come off the bench as he worked his way back from an injury." Sound familiar? Some things never change...and probably never will.
And it's too bad. Because if you look in Iverson's eyes, and when you hear him get all choked up about playing basketball, you can tell he wants it. But he's never going to get it.
If you read this site regularly, then you already know how critical I am of Allen Iverson. I simply don't believe he ranks among the greatest players of all time. Not in the top 50 anyway. I think he's a careless, inefficient shooter who needs to dominate the basketball to be effective, and his effectiveness (read that, ball hoggery) has often come at the expense of his teammates. Furthermore, his "defense" consists of gambling for steals and getting pushed around/shot over by bigger guards (which is just about every guard).
You can disagree with me all you want, but bigtime scorers -- and Iverson ranks pretty high in the league's all-time scoring list -- usually don't languish away, alone and unwanted, when they hit free agency. Not when they clearly have something left in the tank. But that's exactly what happened to Iverson last summer, and it happened with good reason. The lowly Memphis Grizzlies were the only team eventually willing to give him a chance, and he played exactly one game for them before stirring up controversy about having to come off the bench. Forget the fact that he was both out of shape and returning from an injury that had prevented him from playing and practicing with his teammates during the preseason.
He didn't get it. He's never gotten it. Not really. Not fully.
Now he's back with the Philadelphia 76ers, the team that drafted him and helped him reach MVP status. Sure, the Sixers only had one great season during the Iverson era. But the team's failings were often foisted on his teammates. And the feeling was that, if Iverson could only be surrounded by other talented, proven players, that he would finally become the consistent winner everyone expected him to be. Well, he got his chances, but things didn't work out with the Nuggets (who traded him for Chauncey Billups and immediately became a better team) or the Pistons (whose fall from grace after acquiring Iverson was as shocking as it was immediate). By the end of his time in Detroit, the Pistons didn't even want him around...and by the end of the season he had been exiled.
So yes, he has an MVP and a trip to the Finals. But the rest of the evidence against him is pretty damning.
But that brings us back to that video of his press conference. I have and will always question Iverson's relative greatness, but I will not (nor could I reasonably) question his passion and desire for the game. Iverson is a warrior. He's tough. He's mean. When he's on the court, Iverson has the eyes of a killer. A.I. wants it. You can tell he wants it, wants to win, wants to be appreciated and loved. And he can play! The dude can score and create with the best of them.
That's what's so galling about Iverson. He has everything you want, every talent necessary for the game of basketball (if not the size). He has everything...except that fundamental understanding of what it takes to succeed. Sacrifice. Not sacrifice of body and effort. Iverson has sacrificed himself physically as much or moreso than anybody. I'm talking about sacrificing shots, sacrificing touches, sacrificing the role (starter) and minutes (lots of him) he wants for the betterment of the team. In Iverson's world, it has always been His Way or No Way. That's the real reason nobody wanted him over the summer. That's why nobody wanted him all that badly when the Grizzlies waived him. Sure, the Knicks were interested -- they're about as hapless as a team not named "The New Jersey Nets" or "Minnesota Timberwolves" can get -- and now the Sixers have signed him.
But what does that mean?
Philly is 5-14 and they've lost eight games in a row. (Although they've had a brutal schedule that's included games against the Cavs, Celtics, Hawks, Mavs and Spurs.) Do they think A.I. can fix them? Well, with Louis Williams out two months with a broken jaw, the Sixers can use some relief at point guard. But he's a temporary fix at best, a stop gap more than The Answer. But it's more likely that bringing Iverson back is a public relations move. It's the return of a former hero for what could amount to a retirement tour. That's sure to distract fans from all the losing...not to mention Elton Brand's cap killing contract.
It's possible Iverson's return could give the Sixers a mini-boost. Although their upcoming schedule is pretty tough: at Charlotte (the 'Cats are 6-3 at home), then home against the Nuggets, Pistons, Rockets, Warriors and Cavs, and then they play seven of their next eight games on the road...a stretch that starts in Boston and ends in Denver. Fortunately, Philly gets to play the injury-plagued Pistons, the defenseless Warriors, the
I have to admit, I feel genuinely bad for Iverson. I really don't believe his inefficiency (at best) and selfishness (at worst) is intentional. He simply doesn't know any other way. It's the story of the Scorpion and the Frog all over again: it's his nature. Maybe it's because his coaches never stood up to him early on. The only coach that ever tried the tough love angle with A.I. was Chris Ford. Want to know how that turned out? (Well, before Ford got fired, anyway.) "This led to a number of contentious incidents, including Iverson being suspended for missing practice, fined for failing to notify Ford that Iverson would not attend a game because he was sick, and refusing to play in game because he felt 'insulted' that Ford wanted Iverson to come off the bench as he worked his way back from an injury." Sound familiar? Some things never change...and probably never will.
And it's too bad. Because if you look in Iverson's eyes, and when you hear him get all choked up about playing basketball, you can tell he wants it. But he's never going to get it.
Labels: Allen Iverson, Denver Nuggets, Detroit Pistons, Memphis Grizzlies, Philadelphia 76ers
Hey, folks. Allen Iverson here. Yeah. Yeah, I know what you're thinking, but I'm here for a reason. We're talking about Worst of the Night, man. We're talking about Worst of the Night. We're talking about Worst of the Night. We're not talking about practice. We're talking about Worst of the Night. When you come to Basketbawful, and you read what's written here, you've read what's written here right? You've seen this site give everything it's got, but we're talking about Worst of the Night right now.
Doubters and haters: Nothing's official yet, but it will be. I'm gonna be back home, back playing in Philadelphia. They just offered me a one-year contract. Don't get used to me doing guest posts for Basketbawful, because the Sixers offered me a one-year deal. Now, there's some mean spirited people in Philadelphia, but It's like that everywhere and I understand that, I accept that part of life. But there is whole bunch of love in Philadelphia, more love than hate in Philadelphia, for Allen Iverson. I'm blessed with what God gave me. He game me talent. When I was going through my little thing, coach Brown, Larry Brown, he would be tap me and say, hey A.I., hold your head up, it's gonna be alright, things get better. He went through those things with me so right now, the Sixers coach, he knows who he is coaching.
If you're like an inside person, you always know what's going on, if not, it's always Allen Iverson is the bad guy, the guy that can't get along with his coach. Why wouldn't I get along with the guy that is trying to accomplish the same thing I'm trying to accomplish? I don't have an ego. Being an All-Star is everything. I still have yet to accomplish what I've been trying to do from Day 1. Personally I just want to win a championship. If I don't believe it, then they don't need me on the court. I've just got to believe that in my heart. There's nothing less than that. I don't care about just going to the playoffs; I've been to the playoffs before. I don't want to just go to the playoffs, I don't want to go to the playoffs and win the first round, second round, and not win the whole thing because it's bittersweet.
I'm here to win. Don't laugh. I'm here to win. That's the reason. That's the only reason. I believe that whatever we have, regardless of a trade being done or not, I feel we have a shot. I've just got to believe that we're going to be all right. I've got to just play basketball. I don't care. I feel like if we don't make a trade, we have to get it done with what we've got. If that many people recognize how hard I go every night and what I put into my game, to make myself and my team better, it means a lot to mean. I'm fortunate; I'm blessed to be in the situation that I'm in right now.
I know you people, you probably don't believe in me after what happened in Detroit, what happened in Memphis. I don't have any problems with the Pistons, the Grizzlies, the organizations at all. I just didn't want to go through that. That was my only problem. I don't want to go through that. I don't want to lose and all season have to go through that. Why? I don't feel that it's right. I lost. I lost. I mean me, my coaching staffs, my teammates, the organizations lost. You don't hear about any one of my teammates going through this. It's me. It's just me.
I always let LeBron know. They love you man, they love you right now. But please believe me. The first incident, the first time something happens, they are waiting man. They are waiting.
I read the articles and my friends and people tell me things but it's all on me. I accept it but the shit hurts. But it's not just about me. Yeah I got some shit I need to get better in but everybody does. But you don't talk about everyone else, you just talk about me. And why because I make money? Well, get ready. 'Cause I'm gonna prove everybody wrong.
Charlotte Bobcats: Last time I was with the Sixers, people always asked me, were you on the same page with Larry Brown. Yeah we were on the same page. I didn't have a problem with coach. I love Larry Brown. You people may not believe it or feel me when I say it, but I do. He's helped me do so much in my career, helped me be the player that I am. If there's no Larry Brown, then there's no MVP, Allen Iverson. He's done a lot for me as far as helping me on and off the court, but, I mean, when you lose, that's the type of shit that happens. That's what goes on when you lose, you know. When you win everything is everything. But when you lose, it's all about Allen Iverson and Larry Brown. When we won, I know that I got the praise and Larry Brown got the praise, but when we lost it was on me and Larry Brown. That's something that I have to learn to accept and deal with.
Well, coach still has to accept it, especially on nights like last night. His Bobcats got beat 108-90 at home by the Boston Celtics. Ain't really no shame in that. The Celtics are a great team. They are. But coach, he takes it personal when a team comes in and shoots, like, 54 percent from the field, almost 60 percent in threes against his guys. Just 'cause they don't be defending, that's not coach's fault. They weren't scoring, either, hitting only 40 percent of their shots and going 2-for-11 in threes. That's bad on both sides of the ball. You can't blame Larry Brown for that. It's not like he was coaching them and said, "Let 'em hit 60 percent on one end, then shoot bad on the other end." You know?
Coach was pretty upset after the game. He said, "It was like the varsity against the JV." And it was. If the JV rode to school on the short bus. Coach also said, "I'm happy for our fans. They got to go home and watch [North] Carolina and Michigan State. If any of them were smart, they would have left early and watched that game." Damn.
Ray Allen, quote machine: Something not many people know about Ray, he's a funny guy. He really is. I got to hang out with him one year at the All-Star game, and that guy cracked my shit up. He's not, like, obvious funny, he's more, what d'you call it, quiet funny. Anyway, he's been shootin' bad lately. It happens. Shooters slump. Kobe slumps. LeBron slumps. I slump. Even Jordan slumped. So what that Ray'd gone 6-for-23 on threes over his last four games. Shooters shoot. Don't matter if you're slumpin'. Shooters shoot the ball. That's their job. Do coal miners stop hitting rocks just because they didn't find coal the last time they hit a rock? No. They keep hitting rocks until they find coal again. Hey, even Doc Rivers said during the shootaround that "he hasn't forgot how" to shoot.
Well, he proved that againt the Bobcats. He went 5-for-6 from downtown and 10-for-10 from the line. When you guys, I mean, the press, asked him how he did it, Ray said, "I put some baby oil on the rim." See? Quiet funny.
The Phoenix Suns: I'm human man, somebody that bleeds, somebody that cries, somebody that makes mistakes. I'm real just like everybody else. I'm not perfect. I make mistakes along the way. I've been in jail three times. Well, the Suns are human, too. And the Knicks, they made a jail break on those guy in New York last night. Those teams went into that game with opposite records -- 14-3 for the Suns, 3-14 for the Knicks -- and the Suns had the best record in the league. People, they look at a situation like that and say, "Hey, the Suns should win easy." Well, the Suns are human. They aren't Superman. They aren't Jesus. They're human. Human beings have bad night. Human beings give up 23 points off 17 turnovers, let their opponent hit 14 threes, grab 19 offensive rebounds, stuff like that.
It was rough, man. They Suns didn't score 100 points for, like, the first time this season. The Knicks scored 39 points in the first quarter. Hell, Larry Hughes had more assists (12) than Steve Nash (8). Nash, he said, "Terrible performance. I'm embarrassed. Obviously just a disasterous effort. We just have to wash it away and pick it up tomorrow." He's right. That's all you can do. You people, the press, you're gonna look at this game, take it apart, make like it means something big, like a big deal, until the next game. That's what you guys do. It's your job. I get that. But damn, man. It's one game. One game. Not a loss in the playoffs, not a loss in the Finals. One game.
Amar'e Stoudemire: When I think about those 19 offensive rebounds the Knicks had, the first thing I think is, "Why wasn't Amar'e Stoudemire crashing the boards? This is a guy is an All-Star player, a guy who thought maybe he should be up there with the MVP group a year or two back. Listen, I've been MVP. MVP isn't just about scoring points. MVP isn't just about doing it in practice. It's about killing yourself on the court. Well, when you end up with as many turnovers (5) as rebounds (5), and you're a big guy but get outrebounded by Larry Hughes (6), then it's time to look at yourself in the mirror and aske, "Why am I not rebounding? Why am I not helping my team?"
The Golden State Warriors: See, this is what I'm talking about. Everybody was all ready to jump off the Nuggets bandwagon after they lost to the Timberwolves the other day. They had a season-low for points in a quarter (12), blew their biggest lead of the season (17 in the first half) and got held to a season-low for points at home (100) in that loss. Next thing you know, they matchin' their season high for points in a quarter (44), getting a season high for points in the first half (69), and winning 135-107.
Chauncey Billups knows what it's all about. He said, "That's what's great about the NBA. The next night, the same thing can happen and you can show that you learn from your mistakes. We came out up 14 at the start of the third and we said, 'Let's try to put them away this time, not just talk about it. Let's do it,' and I was proud of us for that."
I know what y'all are thinking, and no, I don't have any hard feelings about getting traded to Detroit, and I'm not jealous of the success the Nuggets had after they traded me. That's just business. It's not personal, it's business. The NBA, the game, it's a business. I understand that.
Anyway, the Warriors looked like they were running a layup drill, only for the other team. Denver had, like, 62 points in the paint. The Nuggets shot almot 55 percent. Chris Anderson (14 points) and Nene (18 points) combined to shoot 12-for-16 from the field, and Birdman had 5 blocked shots too. The Warriors, they only had 6 blocks as a team. Monta Ellis, he had it going against the Pacers the day before, but he only went 4-for-10 and got outscored by Vlad-uh-meer Rad-mano-vich (17 points, 7-for-14). If Vlad-a-whatever is outplaying your franchise player, you probably lost the game.
The Portland Trail Blazers: The Blazers are slumpin'. I mean, they are straight up slumpin', as individuals, as a team, just slumpin'. People say they're supposed to be a great team, but great teams don't usually lose three in a row, with a couple of those games at home or whatever. Their offense stunk last night (39 percent shooting), but the real problem was their defense. The Heat shot 53 percent. That's pretty high. Coach Brown, he always said, defense wins championships. Well, the Blazers may be second in the leage in points allowed (90.5), but they've gave up 106, 108 and 107 points in their past three games. So it might be a little early to be calling them a great defensive team.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to dis those guys. They seem like good guys. I don't know them personally or anything, but they seem like good guys. Are they the "Team of the Future" or whatever? I don't know about that. That is in God's hands. I do not know that. That's God. God does that, It ain't up to you or me to say if the Blazers will do this or do that. That's up to God. It ain't up to anyone in here. That is up to God. He handles that. You know that. It's like LaMarcus Aldridge missing the game with, what did they call it, a right knee bone concussion? Now, that wouldn't have kept me out. I would have probably played anyway. But I've been blessed. I don't know about LaMarcus Aldridge. Is he blessed? God knows. I don't, but God does. God has more control over your body. I do not care about how much you eat, how many weights you lift or how good you eat, if God says you're gone, you're gone.
The Oden Watch: Dude had a career-high 20 rebounds and 4 blocked shots, but he also had 5 fouls in 30 minutes. Now me, I always expect to play 40, 45 minutes a game. The only way you can help your team is by staying on the floor. How you gonna help your team by sitting on the bench?
The New Orleans Hornets: Some people are hating on the Lakers because their schedule has been pretty easy so far. I'm not even sure they've even played a road game. Have they? I don't know. And yeah, they've had back-to-back games against the league's worst road teams, but you gotta play the teams you gotta play. It's not like David Stern is gonna come in and say, "Hey, the Lakers are playing great, we should make them play better teams, more road games." That's stupid.
Lamar Odom agrees. He said, "We don't draw up the schedule. When you're playing against teams you feel might be a lesser opponent, we just want to concentrate on doing things just like we do them in practice. We want to play the same way against everybody, and for the last couple of games we've been able to do that."
As a player, that's what you have to do. You can't be listening to the press, to the doubters. Hey, I understand the press has to find storylines or whatever. They get paid to do their job. I am nowhere near criticizing them about how to do their job because I'm not. They're human, they do what they do, that's their job. I'm not here to critique them on what they do. I don't like the way he pronounced that word or this, that and the third. I don't do that to them. I'm just saying, you can't blame the Lakers because they've had a favorable schedule, can't judge them on that. That's all.
As for the Hornets, they're just confused. The players, they aren't on the same page, aren't on the same page as the coach. Are they the reason Byron Scott was fired? They had a lot to do with Byron being fired. If they'd done a lot better, then it probably wouldn't have happened. That's the realism of it. When coaches get fired, the players have a lot to do with it. I think David West, he gets that. He gets it, because he said, "In these last couple of games, we just don't have a clear definition in terms of what guys are supposed to do. There are too many guys trying to score, and that's us being sporadic. We can't decide where we're going to go with the basketball."
'Course, it would probably help them know what they're going to do with the basketball if Chris Paul was playing point guard instead of, who is it, Darren Collison? I mean, Collison took more shots (14) than David West (9). You can't be havin' your point guard take all the shots and your leading scorer getting froze out. I mean, unless your point guard is also your leading scorer, like I was all those years. Collison needs to look for his shot and get everybody involved, like I've always done.
Lacktion report: Now we're talkin' about lacktion. Well, Chris is, anyway.
Generals-Raptors: Sonny Weems was so shocked by the prehistoric defeat at the hands of DC's designated losers, he forgot to jump over the Goombas in level 1-1 for a 4 second Super Mario. Fellow Toronto resident Antoine Wright bricked once from Bloor Street and also fouled and lost the rock once each for a +3 suck differential in 6:31.
Celtics-Bobcats: Doc Rivers's self-coached squad celebrated another notch in the win column with plenty of currency, as Brian Scalabrine earned a 3 trillion (3:02) and JR Giddens giddily grabbed 2.1 trillion (2:05) in cash. Derrick Brown gave Charlotte a +4 in 7:06 via two bricks, one foul, and one rejection.
Heat-Blazers: Joel Pryzbilla made four boards for Portland in 13:49, but no shot attempts combined with two giveaways and five fouls led to a 7:4 Voskuhl.
Labels: Allen Iverson, Boston Celtics, Charlotte Bobcats, Detroit Pistons, Los Angeles Lakers, New Orleans Hornets, New York Knicks, Philadelphia 76ers, Phoenix Suns, Worst of the Night
The Chicago Bulls: Last night, the Bulls ended their streak of blowout losses at four. Instead of losing by 20-ish, they lost by only two. Unfortunately for the Windy City Stags, David Stern has yet to add a "Gosh, they were awful close" column to the NBA standings.
The Bulls have a nasty habit of getting owned by opposing big men, and their 99-97 loss to the Bucks was no exception. Andrew Bogut was supposed to miss four weeks with a lower left leg strain. He suited up anyway and finished with a season-high 14 rebounds to go along with a team-high 22 points (10-for-19). Seven of field goals were layups. Bogut also had a game-high 4 blocked shots, including swats on back-to-back Bulls possessions in the final minute-ish (on a dunk attempt by Luol Deng and a layup attempt by Derrick Rose). Andy also squeezed a layup in between those two defensive plays.
The Bulls finished their annual circus trip (so named because the Ringling Bros. circus takes over the United Center for a few weeks) 1-5. That dropped them to 10-61 since the 1999-2000 season. For those of you who enjoy math, that means they've averaged less than one win per year on the trip. In fact, the Bulls went five season without winning a single game on the circus trip, going 0-32 from 1999-00 to 2003-04. So their 10-29 record in the past six seasons is actually a huge improvement if you think about it. Although it's probably better if you don't think about it.
The Bulls bench: Chicago's a little weak in the depth department right now because their minus one starter (Tyrus Thomas) and their sixth man (Kirk Hinrich). Therefore it's not too surprising that the Bulls bench was outscored 18-9. Still, the 4-for-18 shooting was pretty sad.
Brandon Jennings, fantasy assassin (but not in a good way): This is an e-mail from Derrick M., who's celebrating his 21st birthday today. Hopefully, he's not too drunk to see this: "I think you should mention Brandon Jennings in your WotN tomorrow. I picked up Brandon Jennings in my fantasy league early in the season after he got off to a hot start, so even though he was on my bench at the time, I was obviously ecstatic when he went off for 55 points against the Warriors. However, my joy was immediately tempered when I read this quote from Jennings after dropping the double nickel, "Sometimes it feels like Oak Hill (Academy) out there," Now, I've never played in the NBA so I can't be sure, but I'm fairly certain the level of competition of the NBA is a tiny bit better than high school. An lo and behold, since uttering that fateful stat curse Jennings has shot 36.5% from the field including 29.8% in his last 5 games. I guess the NBA's kinda difficult when the stepback-3-with-a-defender-in-your-face isn't falling."
The Philadelphia 76ers: Philly outrebounded the Mavs 60-37 (including 24-14 on the offensive glass), hit 10 more free throws, and finished +16 in both fastbreak points and points in the paint. But Jason Terry's 17-foot jumper with 1.4 seconds extended their losing streak to seven games. The Sixers are now 5-13 on the season.
It's a pretty disappointing start for a team that everybody thought was ready to challenge for Eastern Conference supremacy last season. So disappointing, in fact, that the Sixers are very, very seriously considering bringing Allen Iverson back for one final (let's hope so anyway) tour of duty. According to the AP recap:
Team president Ed Stefanski said in a statement that both parties remain noncommittal about a final decision after a nearly two-hour meeting Monday.Intriguing? Absolutely, but probably not for the same reasons Jordan is talking about. Against the Mavs, Philly shot 40 percent and had only 13 assists on 37 field goals. I don't think bringing in the Cancer is really going to boost their shooting percentage or improve ball movement.
Iverson, his agent and business manager met with Stefanski, coach Eddie Jordan and two other members of the organization during the first formal meeting between the Sixers and their former MVP.
"All of us liked what he talked about today. I'm not going to share that," Jordan said before the game. "He's a charming individual. It was really good, really intriguing."
I guess the idea is to replace Lou Williams, who's going to miss about eight weeks after jaw surgery. And I guess on paper Iverson is better than Jrue Holiday. But Iverson is a stop gap at best. Sure, it's always a feel-good story when a former star player is reaquired by his old team for a retirement tour. I'm sure it'll sell a few more tickets. And maybe that's the real "Answer." Because, honestly, I don't see the Sixers becoming any more competitive with Iverson than they have been without him. He's proven himself as an inefficient player who is willing to do things his way or no way at all. That worked exactly once, thanks to Larry Brown and a group of committed roleplayers who were willing to kill themselves on defense while sacrificing shots on offense.
Do you think Iggy wants to be "The Other A.I." again? Do you think Brand wants to be even less involved in the offense? Me neither.
Update! Samuel Dalembert, the hero: Oh, the many faces of fail. From SB Nation:
Imagine you were a big NBA fan and were posed this question. Which NBA player goaltended his own team's buzzer-beating shot attempt after the buzzer sounded, thereby preventing his team from winning?Many thanks to Dan Dirik for this video:
Something tells me you'd guess "Samuel Dalembert" pretty quickly. The dude's been in the league for eight years and still makes plays that 15-year-olds would avoid. Case in point: last night's game against the Mavericks. Fast forward to the 49-second mark to see Dalembert swat away teammate Andre Iguodala's game-winning three-point attempt.
Dalembert apparently thought the shot was an alley-oop, Iguodala was apparently pissed (who wouldn't be) and coach Eddie Jordan somehow found a way to defend Dalembert's decision by saying the shot was going to miss anyway. Guys, need I remind you that there were just 1.4 seconds left in the game. (*cues Herm Edwards voice). Hello!
Dysfunction, thy name is 76ers. I hope nobody is still wondering why they're 5-13, have lost seven in a row, are desperate enough to give Allen Iverson a chance and have so little fan support that one blogger is starting a Bill Simmons-like campaign to become the team's head coach.
The Memphis Grizzlies: It seems the Griz need to audit a course at the local community college. It's called Hand in the Face 101. Memphis allowed the Jazz to shoot nearly 60 percent from the field en route to a 120-93 rout. The Jazz practically formed a conga line on their way to the hoop...and that 120 points was a season-high. Their previous high for points this season was 113. DEFENSIVE FAIL.
For the game, Utah was +11 in FG%, +28 in 3P%, +4 in points from free throws (despite earning seven fewer attempts), +5 in rebounds, +13 in assists, +6 in steals, +2 in blocks, +9 in fast break points and +12 in points in the paint. It was pluses all around for the Jazz, who have beaten the Grizzlies 10 times in a row.
Said Memphis coach Lionel Hollins: "They're playing really well. They've destroyed a couple of teams here in their last games and we just got added to that." Then his head fucking exploded.
Added Sam Young: "We just couldn't make a stop when we needed it. I think a lot of times we felt like we had some momentum but couldn't get stops on defense." That's an understatement.
The good news for the Grizzlies? They play the Timberwolves tomorrow. And they might want to win that one, because then they play Dallas, Cleveland, Oklahoma City and Miami.
The Indiana Pacers: Speaking of defensive fails...the Pacers succeeded in looking even more defenseless than the chronically defenseless Golden State Warriors. And that's saying something. The Golden Staters shot 56 percent from the field in their 126-107 victory over Indy, thanks in large part to a career-high 45 points from Monta Ellis. And mind you, the Warriors fell behind by 15 points in the first half before winning by 19. There's nothing like a 34-point swing to ruin a team's night.
Moped might have scored 50 if he hadn't fouled out. And, as it turns out, that was all part of the plan. Said Ellis: "My wife asked me to get 50 tonight [and] I was going for it. When I fouled out she threw her thumb up and said, 'Hey, 45 and a win is cool for me.' So I'm happy."
Welcome to the life of the Indiana Pacers: opposing players circle them on the schedule and their wives tell them to go for 50.
Random trivia from the ESPN recap: Ellis became the fifth player since 2000-01 to score at least 45 points while also fouling out. The other guys were Allen Iverson (51 in 2004-05), Gilbert Arenas (47 in 2005-06), Paul Pierce (50 in 2005-06) and Kobe Bryant.(58 in 2006-07). Ellis is also the third player since 1986-87 to have 45 points and five steals in a game in which he fouled out, joining Michael Jordan and Allen Iverson. Basically, he owned the Pacers. Although you'll note he had one lonely assist versus 7 turnovers. He obviously was subscribing to the Kevin McHale shooting philosophy: Single coverage? Shoot. Double team? Shoot. Triple team? Shoot. Quadruple team? Pass.
Jim O'Brien, drastic understatement machine: Said the Pacers coach: "We just didn't get the job done defensively and defend at a very high level." Welcome to the World of Duh, population you.
Lacktion: Short, sweet and lacktion-y.
Sixers-Mavs: Jason Kapono apparently was placed in the Sixers lineup as a good luck charm, as in 10:31 he managed a plus-twelve +/- score. But in a losing effort, he also managed a +4 suck differential with a foul and three bricks (twice from the edge of the Trinity River).
Pacers-Warriors: Indiana's Roy Hibbert negated a field goal and two boards in 10:45 with five fouls and a giveaway for a 6:4 Voskuhl, while Mikki Moore, the starting big man for Team Nellieball, countered three boards and two points in 17:41 with five fouls of his own and a turnover as well for a 6:5 Voskuhl.
Labels: Allen Iverson, Chicago Bulls, Dallas Mavericks, Golden State Warriors, Indiana Pacers, Memphis Grizzlies, Philadelphia 76ers, Utah Jazz
The Chicago Bulls: The Bulls sunk to 1-3 on their annual circus road trip, with the sole win coming against the sadsack Kings and the three losses coming in hapless blowout fashion against the Lakers, Nuggets and Trail Blazers. Last night's game in Portland perfectly illustrated that the Bulls are marshmallow soft on the inside.
Chicago was outscored 50-32 in the paint and outrebounded 47-27 (including 14-8 on the offensive glass). Greg Oden committed only 4 fouls (is that a season low?) while matching his career-high by scoring 24 points (7-for-8 from the field, 10-for-12 from the line). Oden also snared 12 boards, blocked a couple shots and neutralized Joakim Noah (7 points, 8 rebounds, 5 fouls). Meanwhile, LaMarcus "I would have been a Bull if John Paxson hadn't traded me for Tyrus Thomas on draft night" Aldridge tortured his coulda-been team (not to mention poor Taj Gibson) with 24 points (10-for-16) and a game-high 13 rebounds. Hell, even Joel Przybilla (8 points, 3-for-3 from the field, 2-for-2 from the line) lit up the Bulls in limited minutes.
After getting outscored 35-23 in the second quarter, the Bulls came out smoking in the third, hitting their first nine shots to get back into striking distance. But the Blazers ended the quarter on a 10-5 run and then won the fourth quarter 32-18 to win by 24. Said Derrick Rose: "We have to find a way to polish the game off and finish. It's very hard to rebound when you have someone like 6-foot-6, 6-7 boxing out 7-footers. We have to find a way to get rebounds and run."
The Bulls bench: Chicago's reserve corps got outscored 47-24, and that number would have been even worse if Jannero Pargo hadn't had one of his patented scoring outbursts. It doesn't help that Tyrus Thomas is out with a fractured forearm. But still.
John Paxson: Remember when he traded Aldridge for Tyrus Thomas on draft night in 2006? I'm just sayin'.
Sacramento Kings: Only a few short games ago, they Kings were on fire. Now? Well, let's just say it turns out they are who we throught they were. Four -- count 'em -- four straight losses. Their opponent, the almost equally depressing Memphis Grizzlies, shot 54 percent from the field and had a 42-23 edge in free throw attempts. (The Griz ended up +14 in points from foul shots.) But the problem that's been plaguing the Sactowners -- turnovers -- once again reared it's ugly head. The Kings bobbled the ball away 21 times, including a game-high 5 for point guard Tyreke Evans (versus only 4 assists) and 4 each for Andres Nocioni and Spencer Hawes.
Said Sacramento coach Paul Westphal: "If we can't throw the ball to our team, it's going to be a long year. We started out the game turning the ball over and kept it up for most of the first three quarters. ... We just couldn't get anything going because our ballhandling was so atrocious."
Kings-Grizzlies interior defense: The two teams combined for 122 points in the paint. Was anybody protecting the rim? Oh, wait, Zach Randolph was playing. Never mind, then.
Allen Iverson: Anybody else notice the Grizzlies have won four of their last five games? Ditching The Not Answer has actually improved Memphis in the short term. I say "short term" because it's a long season and they'll have plenty of opportunities to start sucking again. But for now, waiving Iverson sure feels like a case of addition by distraction subtraction.
The Minnesota Timberwolves: Dan B. forwarded me this tidbit from Marc Stein in his ESPN.com Power Rankings:
"It must be worrisome for the Wolves, to say the least, that they've played
almost into Thanksgiving and somehow Ricky Rubio has tasted victory in the NBA
only one fewer time than fellow Wolves lottery pick Jonny Flynn."
Ouch. Major Ouch. But pretty much on the money.
If it weren't for the still-winless New Jersey Nyets, the Timberwolves would easily be the league's most pitiful team. If watching these guys play doesn't make you want to sit in a bathtub full of warm water, turn on Radiohead's How To Disappear Completely, and slit your wrists, I don't know what will. Last night's 91-87 loss to the Clippers was Minny's 13th consecutive loss. And Baron Davis -- who got benched for a couple turnovers in the third quarter and entered the final 10 seconds 0-for-9 from the field -- swooped in for the game-clinching layup with 8.5 seconds to go. DEFENSIVE FAIL.
Kurt Rambis' offense is so bawful it makes me want to pour something toxic in my own eyes. The Timberwolves have been held under 88 points in six consecutive games since their 145-105 loss at Golden State back on November 9. And let's face it, scoring 105 points against the defenseless Warriors is like scoring 80, maybe 85 points against pretty much anybody else. But, as has been the case so often this season, Rambis was ready to place the blame squarely on...his young players. "We were taking sloppy shots during the fourth quarter and we were not executing. We tried to do too much at one time. We play as individuals and not as a whole team, and that's when we get into trouble." And by "we" he really means "they." Shot selection wasn't the only thing that was sloppy, as the T-Wolves gave up 22 points off 21 turnovers.
Minnesota is now 1-13 and hasn't won since opening night. Oh, and in case you've forgotten, that one, lonely "W" was a two-point victory over...the winless New Jersey Nyets. Oh yes, it really is that bad. The T-Wolves have now matched the worst 14-game start in the franchise's 21-year history and they're closing in on matching their 14-game losing streak from last season and possibly surpassing their worst-ever losing streak of 16 games in the 1991-92 season. By the way, that '91-92 campaign also featured losing streaks of six (twice), seven, nine, and 11.
Mike Dunleavy: From the AP game notes: "The victory was Dunleavy's 200th as Clippers coach during the regular season -- against 307 losses -- and put him within two wins of 600 overall. He is one of only four coaches to guide the Clippers to the playoffs during their 26 years in Los Angeles, including Larry Brown and Bill Fitch." Coach of the Year! Coach of the Year! Yeah, right. Make no mistake, kiddies. His Clippers almost lost at home last night to as hapless a team as they're likely to face this side of the Nyets. Seriously, the Timberwolves took a lead into the fourth quarter for the first time this season. It was only one point, but still. I will never understand how Mikey Boy still has a job.
Lacktion report: From Chris: "Still on a boat...and still musing over the mind-numbing mediocrity that is today's lacktion."
Kings-Grizzlies: Ime Udoka can now sit in the same suites as the Maloofs, with a 2.7 trillion (2:41) for the purple paupers; for Memphis, Marcus Williams powered up his Game Boy Advance in a mere four seconds for a Super Mario!!!Bill Simmons: Wild Yams forwarded this one to me: ESPN grounded Bill Simmons from using Twitter for two weeks. Boston Bill referred to Boston radio station WEEI as "deceitful scumbags." (Here's some history.) However, they are deceitful scumbags that have a partnership with ESPN. Whoops. Not too surprising, really. Simmons is the same guy who bends stats and even reality to sync up with opinions he's alrerady formed, and who incorrectly reasoned he could talk himself out of any speeding ticket in Seattle because "Seattle loves me for defending its Sonics after Clay Bennett hijacked the team and moved it elsewhere." He can also turn water into wine...hadn't you heard?
Bucks-Spurs: Malik Hairston lost the rock once in 3:26 for a +1 suck differential.
Bulls-Blazers: James Johnson bricked twice (once from the Sears Tower) and fouled once in 7:20 for a spin into suck differential territory of +3.
Wolves-Clippers: Brian Cardinal dedicated two fouls for the Clotheslines for a +2 in 2:20, while Steve Novak bricked once from Broadway for a +1 in 3:04.
Update! Here's Bill's side of the story.
Labels: Allen Iverson, Chicago Bulls, Kurt Rambis, Los Angeles Clippers, Memphis Grizzlies, Minnesota Timberwolves, Sacramento Kings, Worst of the Night
Allen Iverson: Three games. The Allen Iverson Experiment in Memphis lasted only three games before Iverson left the team for "personal reasons," which probably had as much to do with him coming off the bench as anything else. Now the Grizzlies have cut The Not Answer loose. Ironically, the team's acquisition of Jamaal Tinsley -- whom the Indiana Pacers had spent the better part of the last two seasons paying millions of dollars to just stay away -- sealed Iverson's fate. According to Memphis GM Chris Wallace: "Because of personal matters that forced him to leave the team on November 7, Allen will step away from the game at this time, allowing him to focus on those matters. As a result, we will be ending our contractual agreement with Allen, which will allow both parties to move forward. We wish Allen the best."
Iverson never even played a game on the Grizzlies' home court.
It was a doomed marriage to begin with. Iverson seems to truly believe he's still a superstar who deserves carte blanch...which means a starting role and 20-25 shots per game. The Grizzlies, meanwhile, are building around young players like Rudy Gay, O.J. Mayo, Hasheem Thabeet and DeMarre Carroll. For better or worse, those players are the future in Memphis. Iverson, on the other hand, was a stop gap at best. And besides, he had no real interest in playing for a celler dweller like the Grizzlies. They were simply the only team willing to sign him, and he was trying to reboot his career in the hopes of maybe hooking up with a contender once he'd proved himself again. Well...REBOOT FAIL.
Iverson clearly doesn't feel like he should have to prove himself at all. He looks in the mirror and sees a four-time scoring champion, 10-time All-Star and former MVP who recently became only the 16th player in NBA history to score 24,000 points. On paper, he looks like a real catch. Kind of like Paris Hilton. But in reality, he's a flawed, inefficient player with a me-first attitude. Well, maybe me-first is the wrong way to put it. He wants to win, truly desires team success, but only on his own terms. Wait...I guess me-first was the right way to put it after all.
A few years ago, Iverson and Kevin Garnett were two of the great "what if" players in NBA history, and perhaps the two greatest of the last decade. Everyone always wondered: "What if AI and KG had quality teammates? What would happen then?"
Well, we found out, didn't we? Garnett, once he was paired with Paul Pierce and Ray Allen, steamrolled to a championship. Meanwhile, Iverson failed to lift the Nuggets (who improved immensely when he was exchanged for Chauncey Billups) and then completely bombed in Detroit (and there's no question that the Pistons were and are better off without him). And now his three-game stint in Memphis has further stained the reputation of someone who, until recently, was often talked about as one of the all-time greats.
Personally, I never quite understood that. In the end, was Iverson effectively any greater than, say, Dominique Wilkins or Pistol Pete Maravich? Those three players were all brilliant showmen, high-powered scorers, outstanding on an individual basis. They all could have won a lot of tropies if the NBA was a one-on-one league in which games were played to 11 by 1s aned 2s. But it's not. It's a team sport. And Iverson's best season happened only because Larry Brown coached the hell out of a Sixers team full of roleplayers who were willing to kill themselves despite never touching the ball. Iverson benefitted from the perfect storm of circumstances that season. And you'll notice that he never came close to reaching that level of team success ever again. It was an abberation more than an indication of greatness.
Is Iverson finished in the NBA. Maybe. Probably. Although I read that the New York Knicks have expressed interest. Fitting, huh? You'd think that Donnie Walsh would be smart enough to avoid the possibility of another Stephon Marbury-type situation. Of course, if anybody can resurrect Iverson's career, it's Knicks coach Mike D'Antoni. You can bet he'd be willing to start Iverson and let him chuck 'em up without remorse...just like everyone else on the Bricks.
My biggest regret in this whole mess is that the league won't be able to give Iverson a bogus spot on the All-Star team. Which is too bad, because Basketbawful reader Jordan sent in the perfect promo poster:
Stephen Jackson: In the ultimate example of "be careful what you wish for" -- not to mention poetic justice -- Captain Jack was finally traded to the Charlotte Bobcats. Of course, that wasn't exactly was S-Jax had in mind this summer when he made his much-publicized trade demands and said: "I'm made for the playoffs and championships. That's what I play for. I'm Big Shot Jack." His wish list included Cleveland, New York, or one of the Texas teams.
Well, New York was out of the question (they're still saving cap space for next summers doomed-to-failure run at Lebron). The Mavericks are on fire and don't need him. The Rockets and Spurs go after character guys, so they probably don't want him. There was talk about the Cavaliers trying to deal for Jackson, but their supposed offer included a sign-and-trade of Wally Szczerbiak (who's still recovering from a major knee surgery and currently out of the league indefinitely) and Delonte West (who could end up in jail on gun charges). The Warriors wanted Jackson gone...but not that badly. So they were willing to take Charlotte's deal which included Raja Bell and Vladimir "Space Cadat" Radmanovic. One, two, three, pass the trash!
Jackson, for his part, is taking the moral low ground and blaming the Warriors for the whole mess: "I wanted to be out pretty bad. Things were going bad. I was getting blamed for everything. I wasn't seeing eye to eye with the team. I got fined in preseason, which was ridiculous. It was just a lot of things that I didn't agree with that was going on."
One thing in Captain Jack's favor is that he'll be coached by Larry Brown, the same guy who managed to squeeze some blood out of the Allen Iverson turnip. And let's face it, Charlotte is the league's lowest scoring team...so they need the help. Said Brown: "I know Stephen, he loves to play, and we've got to make it work out -- and I'm confident it will."
S-Jax was pretty thrilled to hear about that, and anxious to take a stab at Don Nelson: "The kind of coach I want that has your back. That's something that's big to me. If a coach has my back, then I don't mind playing 110 percent for him." You might wonder where Jackson's going to get that extra 10 percent. Well, since he's been giving about zero percent on the defensive end for the last couple seasons, he's got plenty of percents to give.
Mark Stevens: You may not know him, but he's Stephen Jackson's agent. You know, the man who got his client traded to the Bobcats. Well, Jackson wanted to be on a contender, and that's what he got. Of course, the 'Cats are contending to become the lowest scoring team of the shot clock era...but that's still contending! Stevens, predictably, is on spin control: "He's happy about the trade, delighted about the trade. This is what he wanted, a new start, and this gives him a chance to compete. Plus he's a huge fan of that team's president, Michael Jordan." Riiiiiight. And let me guess...you have some swamp land in Florida to sell me, too, right?
The Charlotte Bobcats: Let's hope the Captain Jack trade breaths some life into this depressing team. Last night, they managed to shoot over 50 percent and outscore the Magic (who, of course, have All-Star center Dwight Howard) 40-36 in the paint, but failed nonetheless thanks in part to 11 missed free throws and the 21 points they gave up on 17 turnovers. What a waste of a career-high-tying 31-point effort from Flip Murray. The 97-91 setback was Charlotte's fifth straight loss and their 11th consecutive defeat on the road dating back to last season. The 'Cats are now 1-10 all-time when playing in Orlando.
By the way, Jackson's debut with his new team was highlighted by 13 points in 14 shots and a game-high 4 turnovers.
The Oden Watch: Another game, another 5 personal fouls for Big Greg. It's also worth noting that The Next Great Center (11 points, 5-for-9, 7 rebounds, 1 block, game-high 4 turnovers) was thoroughly outplayed by his Atlantean counterpart Al Horford (15 points, 7-for-10, 10 rebounds, 2 blocks, no turnovers). Heck, even Hawks pine rider Zaza Pachulia (7 points, 9 boards) outrebounded him despite playing 14 fewer minutes. As always, I'm just sayin'...
The New Jersey Nyets: Basketbawful reader Alex K. sent in one of the most depressing e-mails a basketball fan can ever receive from his team. Said Alex: "In case you didn't see this already, this pretty much sums up what it's like to be a Nets fan. Ugh."
Isiah Thomas: Like Sugar Ray said: it never ends...it never ends.
Pau Gasol: I didn't see Pau on CSI last night, but Dan B. sent me the link to the KenTremendous Twitter, which has some funny Pau-on-CSI-themed jokes. Can anybody let me know how it was?
Lacktion Report: After watching Derek Anderson compile a fourth-quarter passer rating of 3.1 on Monday Night Football, Chris somehow had the strength of will left to report on the NBA lacktion:
Blazers-Hawks: Joe Smith and Maurice Evans each gave the dirty birds a +2 suck differential, through differing means: Evans via two bricks in 5:53, and Smith via two fouls in 3:58.
Mavs-Bucks: James Singleton fouled twice and missed one shot for a +3 in 2:33.
Labels: Allen Iverson, Charlotte Bobcats, fan submissions, Golden State Warriors, Greg Oden, Isiah Thomas, Pau Gasol, Stephen Jackson, team cancers
Word of the Day
Links
Archive
January 2005February 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010
February 2010
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
June 2010
July 2010
August 2010
September 2010
October 2010
November 2010
December 2010
January 2011
February 2011
March 2011
April 2011
May 2011
June 2011
July 2011
August 2011
September 2011
October 2011
November 2011
December 2011
January 2012
February 2012
March 2012
April 2012
May 2012
June 2012
July 2012
August 2012
September 2012
October 2012
November 2012
December 2012
January 2013
February 2013
March 2013
April 2013
May 2013
June 2013
July 2013
August 2013
September 2013
October 2013
November 2013
December 2013
April 2014
May 2014
June 2014
July 2014
August 2014
June 2018
July 2022
contact: basketbawful@yahoo.com