The Boston Celtics: For a half, the Celtics looked like they just might steal Game 2 in New York. They shot 50 percent (8-for-16) in the first quarter and 61 percent (11-for-18) in the second. And during that second quarter, they limited the Knicks to 4-for-17 shooting and led by as many as nine points (48-39). It honest-to-goodness looked like coach Doc Rivers had made all the defensive and offensive adjustments necessary for his team to win.

Labels: 2013 NBA Playoffs, Boston Celtics, Brandon Jennings, Denver Nuggets, Milwaukee Bucks

Peek-a-boo!
Hey, Utah -- on the bright side, now that your team has lost all of its identity, now would be a perfect time to change names to something that makes more sense for your geographic location!

Worst of the Night in Pictures:

Is "jamming your opponent's nose into his brain" a legal defensive tactic?

It's soooo cold in Denver now

Do we need to explain to Pau how to hang on the rim?

Lamar Odom is not comfortable with this

Nationally Televised Games:
Thunder at Spurs, ESPN, 7pm: Hey, all right! A good start to the ESPN double-header!

Clippers at Hornets, ESPN, 9:30pm: ...And we follow that up with a Clippers road game? Damn it all. Yeah, Blake Griffin will do Blake Griffin things, but we all know how this one will end up.

All The Other Games:
Rockets at Cadavers, 7pm: So it appears that Gerald Wallace is heading to Portland, even though the Cadavers had been talking to the Bobcraps for several weeks as well about trying to get Wallace. Because yes, Gerald Wallace is the missing piece that would have gotten this Cleveland franchise turned around...

Pistons at Pacers, 7pm: The Pistons actually beat the Pacers in OT a few weeks ago. I'm not sure what happened there, since these teams have been going in opposite directions otherwise for awhile now thanks to the Pacers' dead coach bounce.

Kings at Magic, 7pm: I couldn't help but wonder if a matchup like this right after the All-Star break might result in the Magic coming out lethargic and not really into it, resulting in a surprisingly close game. Then I remembered these are the Purple Paupers we're talking about. It doesn't matter how lethargic the Magic look.

Wizards Generals at 76ers, 7pm: The Sixers need to win this one to split the season series with the Generals, and to keep from being the butt of every joke for weeks if they should let the Generals win a road game to take the season series. That would suck. A lot.

Bulls at Craptors, 7pm: Joakim Noah. Finally healthy. Thank God.

Bucks at Knicks, 7:30pm: So, is this the Bucks' team bus?

Oh, and I almost forgot: Carmelo Carmelo Carmelo Carmelo Carmelo Carmelo Carmelo Carmelo (deep breath) Caaaaaaaaaaaaarmelo.

Grizzlies at Timberwolves, 8pm: Better way to spend your time instead of watching this game: Five Seconds of Every #1 Song Ever. (Well, as long as "ever" means up until 1992.) I especially appreciated the harsh transition from Rick Dees' Disco Duck to Chicago's If You Leave Me Now.

Jazz at Mavericks, 8:30pm: Apparently Deron Williams first heard about being traded by watching SportsCenter. Do you think anyone planned to tell him he was traded, or did they just plan on catching him at the door when he showed up at the stadium tonight. "Uh, Deron, buddy... we need to talk..."

Hawks at Suns, 9pm: And the Hawks continue to be stuck in that zone of being just good enough to be in the playoffs, but not good enough to actually be good, and not bad enough to get good draft picks... Their offense has looked pretty ugly lately. Not Western Conference in the Null-Star game ugly, but still ugly.

Lakers at Frail Blazers, 10:30pm: Brandon Roy might be back for this game! Enjoy him while you can, Portland fans. I'm afraid of stat-cursing this, but the Blazers could lock down their longest win streak in three years tonight.

Labels: Bawful After Dark, Carmelo Anthony, Denver Nuggets, Utah Jazz

Memo to the Nuggets: George Karl didn't fight off cancer for this bullshit.
The Dallas Mavericks: Boy, these cats sure miss Dirk Nowtizki, don't they? The Mavericks started the game on fire, hitting eight of their first 10 shots and scoring 30 points in the first quarter. Their offense kinda slogged off after that, especially during their 15-point third quarter. Add that to the fact that they couldn't contain Kevin Durant (28 points on 11-for-22 shooting).

Said Mavs coach Rick Carlisle: "We struggled defensively in the second half, we struggled on the boards, and [the Thunder's] second-chance points were our undoing down the stretch."

That's four losses in Dirk's six missed games. Next up: The Orlando Magic.

More bad news: The Mavs are 35 games into their season but have played only 14 road games. This means their schedule is backloaded with road games, which could put a pretty big damper on any hopes of beating out the Spurs or Lakers in the race for homecourt advantage in the playoffs.

The Denver Nuggets: The Purple Paupers enter last night's game with a league-worst record of 7-25. What's more, they were the only team in the Association that was winless against winning teams.

Well, now they have a victory over a winning team and the Cavaliers (8-27) are stuck with the NBA's worst record. All thanks to the Enver Nuggets.

How soft were the Nuggets on defense last night? Let me put it this way: If I'm ever forced to jump out of a helicoptor while firing my machine gun at an oncoming horde of the undead during the inevitable zombie apocalypse, I hope I land on Enver's D. Either that or Pau Gasol. Okay, or maybe Scarlett Johansson.

Anyway, let's get you the numbers. The Kings finished with 122 points on 56 percent shooting. Furthermore, they shot 50 percente from downtown (9-for-18) and 83 percent on the foul line (25-for-30). According to the Basketball-Reference box score, their Effective Field Goal Percentage was 62.2 and they had an Offensive Rating of 126.8.

More numbers: The Kings had 27 fast break points and scored 27 points off 23 forced turnovers. Tyreke Evans went berzerk (29 points and a season-high 12 assists) and the Sactowners went on a 23-2 run in the second half on their way to a 20-point win that probably had Carmelo Anthony doing a Google search for houses in New York after the game.

Remember: In their last game, the Nuggets suffered a double-digit loss to the Clippers.

Said 'Melo: "We're just frustrated right now. I know I am after these two losses against two teams that we should have beat. Tonight was an embarrassing loss; that's all I have to say about it."

Added Denver coach George Karl: "I'm kind of blown away with our performance. My team, since I've been in Denver, has often bounced back from tough losses. But tonight we did not do it. Sometimes we need to think about playing harder. When you have 12 assists, 23 turnovers, no steals, that tells you you are not active enough."

How bad was this loss? Here's how bad: Jeffrey Morton of Denver Stiffs sounds like he needs to be talked out of drinking paint thinner:

I've never been so disappointed with this Nuggets team. I'm done with the hyperbole and the words. You all saw what happened. There's no reason for losing like this, and the lack of explanation is what hurts the most. The Nuggets looked lifeless for three quarters. For nearly one quarter they played on fire. The only thing I can think of is maybe the Carmelo situation is getting to them? Maybe not. Honestly I don't care anymore.

Melo didn't play badly. Nene was one of the few bright spots...but the rest of the team played like they wanted to be anywhere but Sacramento this evening. That's not what a professional sports team does.

It's not about having "hope". It's knowing what your team is. It's knowing what your team can accomplish. That's what makes this even more disheartening. My only hope is that the Nuggets can right this ship before it takes we as Nuggets fans down with it.

Damn. Imagine how bummed out he's going to be when 'Melo leaves.

At any rate, the Nuggets officially qualifty for a little Michael Ray Richardson quotage:

Reporter: What do you think is happening to the team?

Richardson: The ship be sinking.

Reporter: How far can it sink?

Richardson: Sky's the limit.

The Cleveland Cavaliers: As noted, now the league's worst team.

Donald Sterling: Newsflash: Sterling is a shitty owner and a racist. This news just blew my socks off. Seriously. No matter what MythBusters tells you.

Amar''''''e Stoudemire, quote machine: Not that Suns fans need any more reasons to be depressed, but, well, here you go:

Stoudemire's wish was to stay in Phoenix but left over a chasm in guaranteed money. He took a maximum-level, five-year $99.7 million contract that is fully guaranteed over the Suns' five-year, $96.6 million offer with about $56 million guaranteed. The remainder of the Suns' deal would have kicked in if he played a comparably low minute total in his third and fourth years.

The stipulation addressed the Suns' concerns about Stoudemire's knees and right eye, all of which have had surgeries.

"If they were looking to rebuild and thought I was the guy they wanted to rebuild with, then we could've came to an understanding," Stoudemire said. "But apparently it wasn't that way. It felt like I wasn't wanted. It felt like I wasn't appreciated. I felt like my play on the court was overlooked.

"If you have the best training staff and brag about the situation, my knees really weren't much of a concern. It was something that didn't make him (Managing Partner Robert Sarver) comfortable and he made a decision. I don't want to get involved in an amount-of-minutes situation because it becomes a control issue. You want to be able to play free."

Suns coach Alvin Gentry said Stoudemire was concerned that the Suns were going to remain mostly Steve Nash's team. Home fans chanted "M-V-P" for both players.

"I think he felt like he would like to have a team that was his, that he was the focal point, that it would be basically his team," Gentry said.

Nash said he "foolishly" thought the Suns would re-sign Stoudemire, 28.

"We lost an All-Star power forward and we didn't replace him," Nash said. "We have no real kind of power forward."

Stoudemire said it is hard for him to see Suns fans endure their worst team in seven years.

"We were in the conference finals and had a chance to do something special this season but all of a sudden it went in the opposite direction," Stoudemire said. "It's tough to see because the fans deserve more. They've been loyal. We've been on top so long that they deserve a championship team. But decisions were made and they're going in another direction.

"Last year, the Knicks wanted to be in the Suns' shoes. This year, we're, we're...yeah."

He received little fan disdain for his exit, which could bode well for his reception Friday.

"I don't know how I'll be received," he said. "(Suns analyst) Tom Chambers and Gambo and Ash (KTAR-AM hosts John Gambadoro and Mark Asher) did a great job of talking bad about me while I was there so hopefully that blows over and the fans will appreciate me a little bit more."

Bonus video: Basketbawful reader kazam92 left this link with the comment "Charles Barkley is the fuckin man." Indeed he is.


Chris's One-Line Lacktion Ledger: In exactly 120 seconds, Donte Greene tossed one celebratory brick for a +1 suck differential.

Labels: Dallas Mavericks, Denver Nuggets, Donald Sterling, Worst of the Night

George Karl doesn't care about missing out onhis 1,000th career coaching victory. Really.
The New Jersey Nyets: Apparently, all the Atlanta Hawks needed was for their 119 Million Dollar Man to have elbow surgery and miss a month. After stealing New Jersey's lunch money, the Dirty Birds are now 4-1 without Joe Johnson. Now imagine how good they'd be if they'd spent their cap space on Darko Milicic instead of Johnson. Talk about Manna from Heaven.

Behind Josh Smith's season-high 34 points on 14-for-16 shooting, Atlanta shot 60 percent from the field and scored a whopping 23 points off only 13 forced turnovers. But hey, let's talk moral victories. Because losing 116-101 to the Hawks is somehow better than losing 100-75 to the Celtics...or something.

Said Avery Johnson: "WE HAD MUCH BETTER FIGHT IN US. I KNOW STATISTICALLY, WITH THEM SHOOTING 60 PERCENT FROM THE FIELD AND THE AMOUNT OF POINTS WE GAVE UP, IT DOESN'T LOOK GOOD, BUT I THOUGHT OUR EFFORT WAS MUCH BETTER TONIGHT THAN IT WAS ON SUNDAY. OUR GUYS TRIED. UNFORTUNATELY, WE PLAYED A BETTER TEAM TONIGHT."

The Nyets have now lost five in a row and are 2-10 on the road.

Devin Harris, quote machine: "We just couldn't score and we couldn't stop them from scoring."

Those are two pretty important parts of the game.

The Cleveland Cavaliers: In Freddy vs. Jason, Freddy Krueger was blown up, had his arm ripped the hell off and shoved through his exploding chest, and then got his head lopped off with a machete. And even that doesn't quite compare to the savage beatings being put on the Cavaliers lately. Check out their last five games:

Lost 106-87 to the Boston Celtics
Lost 118-90 to the Miami Heat
Lost 129-95 to the Minnesota Timberpoops
Lost 102-92 to the Detroit Pissed-ons
Lost 117-97 to the Philadelphia 76ers

To sum up: Five double-digit losses -- three to sub-.500 powder puffs -- by a combined total of 111 points. Man, it's like LeBron tore out what was left of the Cavs' hearts, jammed them into a Magic Bullet and hit "liquify with extreme prejudice...while laughing".

Regarding the last three losses -- in Minny, Detroit and Philly -- Cleveland coach Byron Scott woke up from his nap long enough to say: "I'm very disappointed with this whole road trip. We're getting beat off the dribble like we're not even there. Pride has to come into it. Guys go right down the lane for easy layups and nobody seems upset by it. Everybody has to do a lot of soul-searching."

Sorry, Byron. LeBron swallowed their souls Evil Dead-style.

Doug Collins, coach of the year candidate: Regarding his instructions to Thaddeus Young: "I told him that 3-point line is like the electric fence that you put in your yard with a dog. You get across and it shocks you, so stay in front of it."

Thaddeus Young, quote machine: Young, who scored a season-high 26 points on 11-for-12 shooting, found himself wishing NBA games lasted longer than 48 minutes. For, you know, stat padding. "I definitely wanted it to keep going. If it kept going, I get to 40 [points]."

The Denver Nuggets: Here's some sad face action from the AP recap:

Everything pointed to a storybook night for George Karl. Sitting at 999 NBA wins, he was back in North Carolina where he played in college and coaching against buddy Larry Brown.

Karl even joked before the game of missing the postgame flight to Boston and drinking wine with Brown to celebrate becoming just the seventh coach to win 1,000 games.

Instead, Karl was slumped in a chair at the end of the night dressed in a Tar Heel sweatshirt debating a late-game decision and lamenting the end of the Denver Nuggets' seven-game winning streak.

That "late-game decision" the recap was talking about came down to this: Down two points with less than 10 seconds left after a Stephen Jackson airball, Karl didn't call timeout, instead watching Chauncey "Mr. Big Shot" Billups dribble down and miss a fadeaway at the buzzer. Bobcraps win...Bobcraps win.

Said Karl: "It was a tough number. We rebounded at 7 [seconds] or something like that. The initial bust out I thought was good. At the end, we didn't have enough guys flooding the rebound, flooding the lane and trying to make something happen. I'm sure I'll look on film and I'll probably think I'll want to call timeout."

It also would have helped if his team hadn't shot 42 percent for the game.

As for Billups, he doesn't regret taking the shot that lost the game: "I had [D.J.] Augustin on me, who I knew couldn't really affect my shot. I got a good look, just didn't knock it down."

Huh. Anybody keep track of how many game-losing shots this guy has?

Carmelo Anthony, quote machine: Now this is a guy who looks like he's being kept in Denver with one of those electric fences you put in your yard with a dog. They're called "motions" and this guy is going through them -- 22 points on 21 shots and a game-high 4 turnovers -- but he's still churning out quotes. Regarding his coach's chance to win 1,000 games (via Murcy): "You've got to win a lot of games to get to 1,000. And you've got to know a lot of basketball to get that chance to get to 1,000."

In related news, you need a lot of fingers to count to 1,000. If you're 'Melo.

Stephen Jackson, quote machine: "We have to start winning games now, so we don't have to use so much energy at the end of the season to be in the position we want to be in."

The Golden State Warriors: On the one hand, they kept pace with the Mavericks -- winners of 10 straight games -- and barely lost a winnable game. On the other hand, Ian Mahinmi, who had logged only 39 minutes before last night, played 21 minutes and finished with 12 points and a career-high 10 rebounds. What's more, Mahinmi had 10 free throw attempts...compared to 13 for the Warriors as a team. Meanwhile, Alexis Ajinca -- who began the day with three total minutes played -- put in nine minutes of PT and grabbed a career-high 6 rebounds. Did I mention both men are French?

Look, all I'm sayin' is that I've lost count of the number of times I've seen the words "season-high" or "career-high" used to describe player performances against the Warriors the last few seasons. In related news, Golden State has lost four in a row and nine of their last 10 games. Their current record is 8-13.

Brendan Haywood: The reason Mahinmi and Ajinca were even playing was because Tyson Chandler was sick with -- you guessed it! -- flu-like symptoms. Now, you would have thought Chandler's absence would have opened the door to a big night for Haywood. Only Haywood picked up two quick fouls and ended up playing fewer minutes than Mahinmi. But that's not all: Mahinmi's eight free throws matched how many Haywood has made all season.

Keith Smart, coach of the year candidate: "We're not getting the results as far as the wins we need, but we're playing hard. When we put it all together, we'll be a good team. Our hearts are in the right place. We practice hard and compete. We're right there with a lot of the top level teams. We'll turn the corner if we play with this kind of effort."

Alexis Ajinca, quote machine: "I guess French guys don't like Golden State."

The Detroit Pistons: Knee-Mac returned to Houston -- a.k.a. The Second Team Tracy McGrady Failed To Lead Out Of The First Round -- and had his best game of the season: 11 points on 3-for-6 shooting to go with 5 fouls, 3 rebounds, 3 assists, 3 turnovers and a steal. And the Pissed-ons were even +4 during Knee-Mac's 23 minutes.

Yet Detroit finished -15 to the still Aaron Brooks and Yao Ming-less Rockets.

Said McGrady: "It really wasn't as strange as I thought it would be. I felt like I was going to come out here and, whatever [happened] I was going to have a good game. ... I'm never surprised [by getting booed]. You never know what to expect. Some cheers, some boos. I've seen it, heard it."

Especially the boos.

Bonus stat: Detroit's 83 points (on 41 percent shooting with 18 turnovers) were a season-low for a Rockets opponent.

Richard Hamilton: Rip scored 6 points on 3-for-9 shooting and played only 15 minutes because he earned double techs and an automatic ejection in the first half. It's the second time this season Hamilton has bitched his way into an early exit.

Said Detroit coach John Kuester: "We can't afford to lose him anymore in a game because we need him. He's been in this league long enough, and he needs to -- like all of us -- be able to adjust to the whistle."

The Primal Rage of John Kuester. Fear it.
Kuester has a point. But here's another: With the way the Pistons have been playing this season -- they're eight games under .500 and only 2-10 outside their own miserable city -- you can't really blame him for wanting to leave early. On that subject...

Tracy McGrady, quote machine: "I'm accepting my role on this team and I really enjoy trying to make my team better."

Joe Dumars: Remember that rebuilding plan that centered around getting rid of Chauncey Billups and spending $90 million on Ben Gordon and Charlie Villanueva? I hate to keep bringing this up, but Gordon scored 9 points on 3-for-11 shooting in 37 minutes of lacktion and Villy didn't even play. So...yeah.

The Phoenix Suns: Steve Nash -- 24 points, 10-for-16, 15 assists -- finished with a plus-minus score of +5. Unfortunately, every other Suns player was in the red. Even more unfortunately, Phoenix wasted a nine-point fourth quarter lead by letting the Frail Blazers outscore them 37-24.

Said Nash: "We struggled to score at times, and that was it. They did a better job than us defensively."

In possibly related news, Neil Paine of Basketball-Reference says Nash is the second-most one-dimension player of all time. Behind Kiki Vandewhatever. Without bothering to sort through a bunch of meaningless numbers, I would argue that Nash's one dimension is so good it's equivalent to at least two or three dimensions. Movin' on...

As is often the case with the Suns, turnovers were as much their undoing as their defense. Phoenix gave up 19 points off 19 turnovers. And they managed only 2 fast break points.

Hedo Turkododo, Josh Childress and Hakim Warrick: The Suns' three big offseason acquisitions combined for 35 minutes, 13 points (4-for-9), 4 rebounds, 5 assists, and a plus-minus score of -10. And did I mention that Earl Barron is STARTING for the Suns? Yeah, I'm looking at you, Hedo and Hakim.

The Washington Wizards Generals: Check out this section of the AP recap:

The Lakers have abandoned all hope of stopping Nick Young from throwing himself a raging homecoming party whenever the Washington Wizards visit.

Yet Los Angeles still muddled through a victory that could have been a whole lot smoother without the hometown kid causing so much commotion.

At times during an otherwise dispassionate game, Young seemed to be the only player having any fun. The former USC guard hit a career-best six 3-pointers while scoring a season-high 30 points for the Wizards, who closed the third quarter on a 16-1 run to make the two-time defending champions uncomfortable.

"We know when Nick Young comes to town, we're going to give up 25 points," Lakers coach Phil Jackson said admiringly. "This kid is going to come back to L.A. and have a great game."

So the Lakers are basically conceding to the fact that Nick Young -- Nick Young! -- is going to light them up. Young's a shooting guard, right? Kobe Bryant's also a shooting guard, right? And Kobe makes the All-Defensive First Team year after year, right? Am...am I missing something?

Anyway, the Andray Blatch-less Generals actually did play the Lakers tough -- a jumper by Gilbert Arenas made it a four-point game with 57 seconds left -- but L.A.'s inside play was too much: Washington gave up 22 offensive rebounds and was outscored 58-30 in the paint. Regarding those offensive boards, Pau Gasol had as many of them (9) as the entire Generals team.

Random extra: Note the bonus bawful in this line from the AP recap: "Young carried Washington during the first half, scoring 19 points with three 3-pointers while rarely passing the ball."

I swear I'm not writing for the AP...

Lamar Odom, quote machine: "Sometimes we need to do a better job of keeping our intensity at a high. When we focus, we've been really good this year, but when we lose that focus, teams have been able to sneak up on us and give us trouble."

FS West announcher, unintentionally dirty quote machine: On Kobe / Pau / Lamar, via Basketbawful reader Sophie: "Those guys are looking to get each other off tonight."

Well, as Wormboy pointed out via e-mail, man-love does improve team performance.

"Tough Guys" Andrea Bargnani and Mike Dunleavy: Shayan e-mailed about this, er, heated exchange from Monday night's Raps-Pacers game: "Bargnani elbows Mike Dunleavy, then Dunleavy 'retaliates,' to which Bargnani says 'Wow, that's it? That's your best shot?'"


The New York Knicks: Some potential future bawful from Basketbawful reader Kaan:

Now that the Knicks have won 10 of 11, everyone is talking about Amar'e this, Amar'e that, look at Felton, oh Fields is a jewel and all that. They may be right. But please look at this schedule. Who did this? Is this schedule even legit?

10 of 11 wins: Sacramento, Golden State, LA Clippers, Charlotte, Charlotte, Atlanta (they lost obviously), Detroit, New Jersey, New Orleans, Toronto, Minnesota...

Out of the 10 wins they had, only New Orleans is over .500 and they are sinking like the Titanic...but how can you put together such awesome bawfulness of a schedule.

Wait it gets better.

Knicks play Toronto and Washington next. So 12 out of 13 is not out of question. Then we'll hear that the Knicks are contenders, they might be better than the aging Celts, dysfunctional Heat and ready-to-melt Magic...

But keep an eye on what's to come afterwards. If you put together all the crap teams one after another, that means you're just postponing the ineviteble big boys.

After Toronto and Washington, here is the Knicks' next 14 games. Hey don't despair I saw a Cleveland game in there...

Denver
Boston
Miami
Cleveland
Oklahoma City
Chicago
Miami
Orlando
Indiana
San Antonio
Phoenix
LA Lakers
Portland
Utah and the beat goes on....

This is one weird schedule and one media frenzy to keep an eye on...

Chris's Lacktion Report:

Nyets-Hawks: New Jersey's Ben Uzoh headed a brick in just 21 seconds for a +1 suck differential and a Mario!

Pistons-Rockets: Brad Miller scrapped his way to 3 boards in 13:12, but bricked six times and fouled and lost the rock twice each for a 4:3 Voskuhl. Also lacking it up for Houston was Jared Jeffrise, whose one giveaway in 10:50 netted him a +1.

Generals-Lakers: Hilton Armstrong blocked one shot in 8:22, only to ring up one foul via room service for a 1:0 Madsen-level Voskuhl. Alonzo Gee gave up his Castlevania cartridge after 26 seconds for a Mario.

For Los Angeles, Derrick Caracter captured a board in 5:28, and also fouled twice and bricked thricely for a 2:1 Voskuhl.

Labels: Chauncy Billups, Cleveland Cavaliers, Denver Nuggets, New Jersey Nets, Worst of the Night

You ready to back off your bold prediction yet, MJ?
The Charlotte Bobcats: Let's open this baby up with a quote from Bobcats majority owner and NBA legend Michael Jordan:

And while the Bobcats' cap issues gave them no chance at the LeBron James-led free-agent class this summer, he insists the Bobcats, led by Gerald Wallace and Stephen Jackson, are better than last season's 44-38 team that was swept by Orlando in the first round.

"I think we're going to be a better off team than we were last year," Jordan said. "We're together, we're coming off some success from last year. Granted, Raymond's not here. But when you think about, Tyson came off the bench.

"At the minimum, we should make the playoffs."

I bet MJ would like to take a mulligan on that one right about now.

Good news for the Bobcats: They didn't wait until they were down 15-20 points before starting to play last night! The bad news: It didn't matter. They lost anyway...falling to 1-6 on the season.
The 'Cats shot like they were playing with KFC buckets on their heads -- 39 percent as a team -- with a very special (in the short bus way) thanks to Stephen Jackson (4-for-13), D.J. Augustin (3-for-15, 1-for-7 on threes) and Gerald Wallace (2-for-11).

Still, the real stake in Charlotte's shriveling heart was the failure to put any hands in the general viscinity of rookie Gary Neal's face. Neal went gonzo from beyond the arc, drilling 5 treys.

That said, the Bobcats had their chances. They were down 93-91 with 26.8 seconds left but chose defense over the intentional foul. Unfortunately, they let Manu Ginobili swoop in for a game-breaking layup with 4.9 seconds to go.

Said Bat-Manu: "The goal was to eat all the clock possible, but at the same time you don't want to take a really bad shot. It was a miscommunication between Boris [Diaw] and [Tyrus] Thomas and one left. I had a pretty good look."

As someone who has followed the careers of both Diaw and Thomas, all I can do is nod emphatically at the "miscommunication" part.

Anyway, said Charlotte coach Larry Brown: "D.J., Jack and Gerald going 9 of 39, I don't care who you're playing and you're going to have a tough time. To be in the game with us shooting it that way and turning it over again, like we do, it's a miracle we had a chance."

Chalk one up in the "Near Miracle Victory" column, Larry.

Stephen Jackson, turnover machine: S-Jax had 6 of Charlotte's 14 turnovers. But "shame" -- like most other words -- is not in his vocabulary: "Some nights I may have six turnovers, some nights I may have none." Wow. He's like a fortune cookie. Scatch that. A misfortune cookie.

The Atlanta Hawks: I hope the Dirty Birds enjoyed that 6-0 start and all those "Don't forget about the Hawks!" stories that were so popular for a week or so. You'd think people would have wised up to Atlanta's act by now. They usually pound lousy teams during soft stretches, maybe win a close game or two against a legit opponents. But in the final analysis, they are -- at best -- a second tier team.

To wit: After opening the season with six straight wins over "meh" teams, they've now lost two in a row against decent ones. Go figure.

I'll give the Hawks this much, though. They made the Magic work for it. Atlanta held Orlando to 43 percent shooting -- including 4-for-22 on threes -- and won the rebounding battle 48-43. But the Magic go a big night out of Pumaman (27 points, 11 rebounds) and...Vince Carter? Yes, Vince Carter, who finished with 19 points on 8-for-12 shooting and scored 5 crucial points in the final 1:12.

That's right: The Hawks were out-clutched by Vince Carter.

And you know how Vag, er, Vince did it? Two layups, the second of which was an "And 1!" after which he actually roared and flexed to the crowd, Hulk Hogan style.

Said Carter: "It never gets old. Believe me."

Yeah. Unless you're the Hawks.

Hawks coach Larry Drew, quote machine: "As I told our guys, 'Let's not look at this loss as a moral victory.' We've always felt in our hearts all along that we were capable of playing against any team."

Playing against any team? Yes. Winning against any team? Eh, not so much.

Bonus stat: The Hawks gave up 22 points off 17 turnovers...and lost by 4. Just sayin'.

The Toronto Raptors: How does a team like the Golden State Warriors win on the road despite giving up 22 fast break points and a whopping 32 points off 21 turnovers?

By playing the Craptors, of course. Now 1-6!

Stephen Curry, playing on a semi-bum ankle, scored a season-high 34 points on 12-for-21 shooting (including 2-for-4 on threes and 8-for-8 at the line). Moped Ellis added 28 points on 10-for-17 shooting before a bad fall waylaid him in the fourth quarter. The Warriors -- now 5-2! -- also got a double-double out of David Lee (14 points, 12 rebounds) in addition to shooting 52 percnt as a team and winning the rebounding battle 42-32.

Credit the Dinos for coming back from 20 points down to make a game of this one. But that's like sticking your genitals in a grizzly's mouth and then hoping to yank them out before they become bear kibble.

Said Linas Kleiza: "We just make the game hard on ourselves."

Actually, you can probably blame the front office for that, Linas. I'm pretty sure they're the ones responsible for sending you to war with a starting lineup of you, Reggie Evans, Andrea Bargnani, Jarrett Jack and DeMar DeRozan. Admittedly, that group would make a terrific second unit on a real basketball team.

"Do you guys need a new mascot?Please tell me you need a mascot."
The Boston Celtics: Back-to-back road games in Oklahoma City and Dallas would be a tall order for any team. Still, the Celtics handed the Thunder a choice cut of ass on Monday night and looked ready to dispatch the Mavs last night after Paul Pierce knocked down a 17-footer to give Boston an 87-82 lead with 1:58 left.

BUT...the C's went scoreless over the final two-ish minutes while the Mavs netted seven points off a layup by Dirk Nowitzki, a triple by Jason Terry and what turned out to be the game-winning 16-footer by Nowitzki with 17.4 ticks on the clock.

Know who Dirk was shooting over? Big Baby. Who's, what, half a foot shorter?

Said Nowitzki: "I knew Kidd was going to find me and then Davis was there. I was able to face him up and knock the shot down."

Oh, but it gets better. Boston's final possession consisted of a three-pointer by Rajon Rondo with 3.8 seconds left and then (after a Terry foul) a desperation triple attempt by Kevin Garnett as time expired.

Really, Celtics? Threes by Rondo and Garnett? Those're the best shots you could get?

Doc Rivers -- who called that sequence "a terrible play" -- said: "I hope I can draw up a better play than that."

Ya think?

Jermaine O'Neal: We call him "The Drain" for a reason. O'Neal played only 11 minutes -- including zero in the second half -- because of a sore left knee that left him with "no explosion." Oh, and Jermaine benched himself for the final two quarters, figuring the Celtics would be better off with him on the bench.

Which might be the case. But if you're wondering by Big Baby was defending Dirk on the game-winner, this is why. Boy, it sure is a good thing the Celtics went out and got two injury-prone O'Neals last summer. Eight games into the season and they're both out already.

Dirk Nowitzki's new haircut: Well, Dirk cut his flowing locks. Now he's gone from looking like a WNBA player to looking like...Sloth from The Goonies?! That's what Dan Marino -- not the football player, but a Basketbawful fan from Belgium -- thinks.

"Sloth love Chunk!"
The Phoenix Suns: Their two oldest players -- Steve Nash (16 points, 6-for-11, 11 assists) and Grant Hill (19 points, 12 rebounds -- were their best players. Robin Lopez went 1-for-4 and pulled down only 2 rebounds in 14 minutes. Hedo Turkoglu is starting. Channing Frye -- who got a $30 million contract from the Suns this summer -- went 1-for-7 off the bench.

Anybody else see any problems here?

And how about this: Zach Randolph returned from the dead to scored 23 points and gobble up 20 rebounds...including an absurd 8 offensive boards.

Oh, and then there were the turnovers: 23 of 'em, for 31 points going the other way. Hill and Nash combined for 9 TOs.

It's amazing the Suns didn't lose by 20.

Said Phoenix coach Alvin Gentry: "That's [23] chances we don't get to shoot the basketball. If we are managing our turnovers, and we've got 10 or 12 turnovers, that's 10 more possessions that we can shoot it at the basket. Make five of them, and it's a different story. We've just got to do a better job in that department."

The Denver Nuggets: The Nuggets wasted some good defense (holdin the Bulls to 41 percent shooting) and a season-best 32-point from Carmelo Anthony by giving the Bulls 24 bonus points off 18 turnovers. They also kept shooting directly into their defenders hands, as Chicago had 12 blocked shots, including 9 combined from Taj Gibson (5) and Joakim Noah (4).

Also, anybody else notice the Nuggets are starting Shelden Williams? Eek.

As an aside, Gibson's sweet game -- 16 points (7-for-12), 6 boards, 5 blocks, 3 assists and a steal -- reminded me of some of the crap I got after dubbing him a potential All-Star in my Central Division preview. In fact, here's what AnacondaHL had to say:

Haha, I just noticed something from this post (emphasis mine):

"a couple of possible future All-Stars (Joakim Noah and Taj Gibson),"

Wait, what? Since when is someone projected to be the next Dan Gadzuric a possible future All-Star?

Well, check it, peeps: Six games into his second season, Taj is averaging 15.2 PPG, 6.2 RPG, 1.7 APG and 1.7 BPG while shooting a redonkulous 63 percent from the field. That puts him at 4th in the league in FGP. His Offensive Rating is 115 and his Player Efficiency Rating is 19.1, which, according to John Hollinger's reference guide, is pretty close to borderline All-Star territory.

As always, I'm just sayin'.

(Of course, when Boozer returns from his broken hand, Gibson will head back to the bench, his numbers will fall, and blah blah blah.)

You know what? Don't ask. Just...don't ask.
Erik Spoelstra, quote machine: This is a belated entry submitted by Basketbawful reader clair. Regarding their game against the Nyets, Spoelstra said: "[Saturday] was about a nameless, faceless opponent. We needed to really come back and establish our toughness, our disposition defensively and the guys really took that to heart and I was glad that they were having fun out there."

As clair put it: "Nameless AND faceless. Ouch!"

Chris's brief lacktion report: Alonzo Gee grabbed a Legend of Zelda cartridge in just 3 seconds for a Super Mario! For Charlotte, Sherron Collins heaved a brick from Tryon Street in 3:33 for a +1 suck differential.

Labels: Atlanta Hawks, Boston Celtics, Charlotte Bobcats, Denver Nuggets, Toronto Raptors, Worst of the Night

If you haven't done it already, you probably shouldn't botherbuying a Carmelo Anthony Denver Nuggets jersey.

The Denver Nuggets

The 2009-10 team wasn't the Enver Nuggets of the past, but they ranked a "meh" 16th in the league with a Defensive Rating of 107.5.

For the record, the league average was 107.6.

However, the Nuggets were a pretty strong offensive squad -- 3rd in Offensive Rating at 111.8 points per 100 possessions -- and they led the league in free throws per field goal attempt (.290). Still, this team had problems even before losing George Karl left the team to have cancer treatments. And I'm not just talking about Kenyon Martin's knee injury and cattle brand sexy lips tattoo.

Outside of Carmelo Anthony, Chauncey Billups and Nene, Denver simply wasn't all that talented (relative to contending teams) and the front office had squandered away all their cap space. There weren't many ways for last year's squad to get better. Or this year's squad for that matter.

Still, the Nuggets used their full mid-level exception on Al Harrington over the summer. Which should help, I guess. Oh, and they picked up Anthony Carter and Shelden Williams for the veteran's minimum. Those were decent bargain moves. Unfortunately, Martin is still on the mend and the Birdman is out with a knee injury of his own. Believe it or not, both of those guys were reasonably important.

However, Denver's biggest problem is the money they failed to spend, specifically what they offered Anthony in the form of a three-year contract extension.

As Tourettes Guy would say: The Nuggets are going to be out of the butt and into the f*** if they don't lock 'Melo into an extension. Which probably isn't going to happen. Ever. By all accounts, Anthony wants out of Denver. For all we know, he may be dreaming of teaming up with Amar''''''e Stoudemire and Chris Paul in New York. Whatever the case, Denver will most likely lose him one way or another, which radically increases the probability that he'll be dealt before February's trade deadline (assuming the Nuggets haven't somehow morphed into contenders).

If 'Melo finishes the season in Denver, the Nuggets will probably end up in the mid-to-upper 40s in terms of wins. If he doesn't, they'll finish in the mid-to-upper 40s in terms of losses. A trend that will likely continue unless they flip Anthony for some serious talent...something that rarely ever happens when a superstar is traded.

All of which means Nuggets fans will soon be joining a support group with Cavaliers and Raptors fans. I know it sucks, folks. Just hold hands and cry it out. It'll get better some day. I promise. (But not really.)

The Minnesota Timberwolves

At 15-67, the 2009-10 T-Wolves were the second-worst team in the NBA, barey ahead of the 12-70 Nets. And remember: New Jersey was one of the worst teams in league history.

Minny ranked 29th in Offensive Rating (ahead of only the Nets) and 28th in Defensive Rating (in front of only the Warriors and Raptors). I could quote many other factoids that highlight their woeful inability to play the sport of basketball -- like the fact that they had a worse point differential than the Nets and went freaking 2-27 after the All-Star break -- but let me just sum this up by saying the Timberwolves sucked serious hind end. I doubt anybody on last year's team will get the taste of sour ass out of their mouth for many years to come.

So how did GM David Kahn try to "fix" this mess over the summer? By giving away All Jefferson for nada and waaaaay overpaying for Darko "Manna from Heaven" Milicic ($20 million) and Luke Ridnour ($16 million). Holy crap, man! Why did owner Glen Taylor bother to fire Kevin McHale is he was going to let Kahn flush hundred dollar bills down the toilet one-by-one?!

That said, Kahn wisely hung onto Kevin Love, signed Nikola Pekovic (a talented overseas prospect) and Anthony Tolliver, and acquired Michael Beasley for a couple meaningless second round draft picks (read that: "for nothing"). Unfortunately, a small handful of moves that could be rated as "mildly kinda-sorta okay" won't change much on this moldering cess pool of a team. The reality is, a monkey could log onto ESPN's Trade Machine and immediately poop out a better team than this.

This team might be able to win 20 games or so. That's their ceiling.

Sorry, Minnesota fans.

The Oklahoma City Thunder

This young team is going to be really good for years to come. Which must feel like a groin punch to Seattle basketball fans everywhere. When their Sonics were raped away from them, at least they could take some solace in the fact that the team was terrible. Now? They're a top four team in the Bestern Conference.

Sorry, Seattle fans.

Last season, the Thunder won 50 games behind a solid defense (9th in Defensive Rating) and Kevin Durant's offense. The biggest concern for this team is the fact that they didn't do much of anything during the offseason. Instead of overspending for a free agent, management held onto their cap space, stockpiled draftees and draft picks, and acquired Mo Pete.

Okay, well, that's foward thinking. Or something. But the "tread water" approach rarely works for championship caliber teams, and it's hard to imagine it doing much for the Thunder.

That said, Oklahoma City did sign Durant to a five-year contract extension, and for all we know this kid could blow up again this season. If Durant plays like an MVP on steroids, the Thunder could certainly win another 45-50 games, qualify for the playoffs, and give some team a scare in the first and/or second round.

However, 2010-11 could also be a rude awakening for this team on the rise. I mean, will the Thunder stay as healthy as they did in 2009-10, when four of their five starters played all 82 games and all nine rotation players played at least 73? Will they be able to stand up to all the sky-high expectations now that opposing teams will be gunning for them? Can Kevin Durant really make a Second Leap right after last year's First Great Leap? Aren't we making a lot of assumptions about a team that overachieved and didn't improve at all over the summer?

The Thunder are getting a lot of buzz. But me, I'm wary. Very wary.

The Portland Trail Blazers

Ttttthhhheeee Trrrraaaaaaaiiiiillll Bllllaaaazzzeeeerrssss aaaarrrree aaaaa sllloooooowwww ttteeeeaaaaam.

Seriously.

Last season, Portland ranked dead last in Pace Factor, averaging a feeble 87.7 possessions per 48 minutes. You'd think they were using canes and walkers or something.

You want their offensive formula? The Blazers isolate Brandon Roy, crash the boards, and take care of the basketball. That's what they do. It's actually really similar to what the Atlanta Hawks did with their iso-Joe offense. And I guess it worked well enough: Portland ranked 7th in Offensive Rating at 110.8 points per 100 possessions.

But, honestly, that system isn't going to win many playoff series. Sure enough, the Blazers were eliminated in round one by a well-balanced Phoenix Suns team.

Don't get me wrong, people. I'm not naysaying the Blazers. Just point out some facts, which most people just discard anyway. On the up side, Portland is young, deep and very talented. And don't forget: The Blazers managed to win 50 games last year despite an ongoing series of freaky-freak injuries, which included Joel Przybilla blowing out his knee twice (the second time while taking a shower) and coach Nate McMillan

What's more, the Blazers have $15 million in expiring contracts (assuming they don't pick up team options on Jerryd Bayless, Rudy Fernandez and Nicolas Batum), two first round draft picks and trade bait in Fernandez (who wants off the team and could be considered a difference maker by potential contenders around the trade deadline).

You're telling me this team can't get better? You're telling me that, assuming nobody suffers a major injury, that they couldn't win 50-55 games? Or put up a serious fight in the playoffs? And if Greg Oden stays healthy...

...buh...buh...buhbwahahahahahaha!! I keed, I keed. That's not going to happen.

Sorry, Blazers fans.

The Utah Jazz

During the offseason, Utah took a big hit when they lost Carlos Boozer, who's now busy being injured for the Bulls instead of the Jazz.

Still, they pulled of a major coup by getting Al Jefferson for next to nothing. Big Al can almost certainly cover most of what Boozer gave them: Namely, 20 points, 10 rebounds, and a porous defense that consists of either reaching matador-style or simply hacking first and asking questions later.

This highlights Utah's biggest problem: Interior defense. Asking Boozer and Mehmet Okur to protect the painted area is like handing Lindsay Lohan a bottle of Jack and a bag of drugs and asking her to keep them safe. It ain't gonna happen. And it didn't. Therefore, the Jazz had to rely on a slap-happy defense that ranked second in personal fouls (1,859) and a league-worst in opponents free throws per field goal attempt (.269).

Of course, they ranked 5th in defensive rebound percentage and 6th in opponents turnover rate. And they did rank 10th in Defensive Rating. so it wasn't all doom and gloom on the defensive end. If the Jazz can stop hacking, they could be a top five defensive squad.

And there's not much wrong with them offensively. They were tops in percentage of assisted field goals (67.8) 4th in effective field goal percentage (.524), 4th in Free Throws Per Field Goal Attempt (.252) and the 5th-best team in terms of turnover percentage (.142). That's a Jerry Sloan offense for you. It helps that Deron Williams is freaking awesome, and maybe the best or second-best point guard in the league.

On the downside, Okur is still recovering from a torn Achilles and Kyle Korver is playing for the Bulls, so Utah will begin the season minus their two best long-range shooters. That could hurt the offense. Plus, Al Jefferson -- who is still learning the system -- hurt his hand against the Lakers the other night. The team has little depth and less interior defense.

Still, this is the Jazz we're talking about. Sloan will get them to execute like crazy and play hard almost every night. They'll win 45-50 games and make the playoffs, where they'll probably make a first or second round exit. Unless they make some sort of deal to shore up their bench and/or add some beef up front, they won't be able to handle big teams like L.A. and Portland.

Labels: Denver Nuggets, Minnesota Timberwolves, NBA season preview, Oklahoma City Thunder, Portland Trail Blazers, Utah Jazz

Cheer up, Scott! Things can't possibly get any wor...
...oh. Never mind then.
The Milwaukee Bucks: Not exactly a banner weekend for fearing the Deer, who got smeared twice and cruelly eliminated by the Hawks. With a chance to win the series at home in Game 6, the Bucks shot 32 percent and scored only 69 points in a double-digit loss. The performances of Brandon Jennings (missed his first six shots, finished 4-for-15, 1-for-9 from beyond the arc, only 1 lonely assist) and John Salmons (2-for-13) were particularly crippling. When your top two guys combine for more fouls (8) than field goals (6), it's trouble.

The game was essentially lost in the third quarter, when Milwaukee went 3-for-17 and got outscored 29-11. That included a 19-0 run by Atlanta as the Bucks went on an eight-minute scoring fail fest.

After the game, Kurt Thomas said: "We just realize that we had a bad third quarter. We're still confident as a team. We'll regroup and we'll play better on Sunday."

If by "playing better" Kurt actually meant "We're gonna lose by 21 points instead of only 14," then he's a freaking Nostradamus. In Game 7, the Bucks again shot 32 percent and finished with 74 points...five points "better" than Game 6. So maybe Thomas was right after all. But not really.

I guess Andy Bogut is pretty important after all.

An extra "blech!" goes once again the Jennings and Salmons, who combined for only 26 points on 11-for-36 shooting (2-for-9 on threes). The Bucks have now lost seven of their last eight road playoff games and their 74 points is tied for the sixth fewest points in a Game 7 during the shot-clock era.

Said Carlos Delfino: "We can't think about all the ifs. Yes, we missed his presence in the paint. But glory to the guys who kept fighting. We just tried to be as positive as we possibly could."

Added Brandon Jennings: "I think we were missing one piece, and that was Bogut. I wanted to walk out sad, but I had to keep my head up because we were down a couple players [Michael Redd also sustained a season-ending injury]. We did the best we could. We showed a lot of people that the Milwaukee Bucks can actually hang in this league."

Let next season's unrealistic expectations begin!

Jerry Stackhouse: He wasn't awful...but you knew I was going to include this, right? I'm not sure this is what Francis Scott Key imagined when he wrote the poem that became the song.


Josh Smith: This was a great play, but an ear pose? Really Josh?


The Oklahoma City Thunder: Here are some dirty little OKC facts for you: During the regular season, the Thunder gave up the sixth-most total offensive rebounds (937). They were tied with the Toronto Craptors and Washington Wizards Generals Bullets for sixth in opponents' offensive rebounds per game (11.4), ranking ahead of only the Nuggets, Knicks, Pacers, Suns and Warriors. They kind of covered for this by ranking third in the league in Offensive Rebounding Percentage (.286). So yes, they were giving up offensive boards, but they were also grabbing offensive boards.

That should even things out, right?

In theory, I suppose. But what if your entire season and everything you've been fighting for in the first round of the playofss came down to a simple box out? What then? Here's what:


What a wasted opportunity. The Thunder were +18 in points off free throws, +17 in points off turnovers, +8 in points in the paint and +7 in points in transition. Unfortunately, they shot 36 percent, thanks largely to the misdirected gunning of Kevin Durant (see below) and Russell Westbrook (7-for-20, 1-for-6 from downtown). Of course, those guys did help bring their team back -- thanks to a trey by Durant and then a jumper and three-point play by Westbrook -- but too little, too late.

I should also mention that the Lakers bench outscored their counterparts 30-16. That's right, L.A.'s bench was integral in eliminating the Thunder. Who'da thunk?

Kevin Durant: His series averages look pretty good: 25.0 PPG, 7.7 RPG, 2.3 APG. However, KD shot 35 percent from the field and 28 percent from downtown. To break his percentages down further, he hit only 38 percent of his jumpers and a miserable 20 percent near the basket. Facing elimination, he went 5-for-23 from the field. That's 21 percent shooting accuracy in the most important game of his life to date.

What's more, according to ESPN Stats & Information, Durant Kevin Durant notched one of the worst shooting performances in NBA history in a loss that ended a best-of-seven series (minimum 20 FGAs). The only two players to surpass him were Paul Arizin (18.2 percent in the final game of the 1962 Divisional Finals) and Kenyon Martin (3-for-23 in Game 6 of the 2003 NBA Finals).

Yes, I know he helped rally the Thunder down the stretch. But OKC might not have needed a rally if he hadn't missed 17 of his first 20 shots.

Ron Artest, quote machine: "Everyone expected us to be this greatest team since sliced bread, but we aren't playing like that. It's great for us to get through it and understand that we're not the best thing since sliced bread. We actually have to work."

Phil Jackson, quote machine: "You have to remember these men are out there in their underwear, in their shorts. These aren't like the old days but they are pretty scantily clad, and they are, you know, in front of their fans. If you're at all self-conscious, there you are."

The Denver Nuggets: And so ends the season of the second Team That Could Beat the Lakers (the Mavericks being the other). Man, if you had told me in that the Nuggets would earn 40 free throw attempts and score 32 points off 19 Utah turnovers, I would have said there was no way they could lose.

And yet...they lost.

Denver couldn't do anything about Carlos Boozer (22 points, 10-for-14, 20 rebounds, 5 assists), Wesley Matthew (23 points, 13-for-15 at the line) or the Jazz bench (45 points, 15-for-26). Nor could the Nuggets keep from hacking, leading to an astounding 51 foul shots for the Mormon Musicians -- 39 on personal fouls and four more on technicals.

Said Chauncey Billups: "You have to give the Jazz credit. They stole home court and that proved to be the difference. Sometimes when we play against very, very disciplined teams, we tend to break down. We should have been able to run on them but being in foul trouble so much it stops the running."

Denver also had their share of problems guarding Utah's non-free throws. The Jazz shot better than 52 percent, thanks largely to Boozer and Paul Milsap (7-for-11).

Carmelo Anthony: Facing yet another first round elimination -- his sixth in seven years, including a 2006 opening round loss to the Clippers -- 'Melo finished with only 20 points on 6-for-22 shooting. Even though he snared a game-best 12 rebounds, Anthony was kind of outplayed by Matthews, who outscored him, defended him well, got him into foul trouble and helped goad Denver's coach into a tech.

From the AP recap:

Matthews came up with a huge defensive play when he blocked a shot by Anthony under the basket, then drew Anthony's fifth foul when Billups was short on a 3-pointer with 4:55 left. Billups was called for a technical after the play and Matthews made the free throw, then two more to put Utah up 104-95.

"I wanted that opportunity. You live for moments like that," Matthews said. "Growing up as a kid, you always want to go up against the best. You want to get the stops at the right time."

Matthews added two more from the line with 4:23 left, and Utah's lead was 106-95

Acting coach Adrian Dantley, Graham, Kenyon Martin and Billups all received technicals for Denver.

Dantley received Denver's first after Anthony collided with Matthews and was called for an offensive foul with 4:13 left in the second.

I'm pretty sure the Nuggets assumed the 'Melo-Matthews matchup was going to go in their favor. Like, By a lot. Didn't turn out that way, tho'. Kinda makes you go hmmmmm...

The Boston Celtics: They...you know what? Let's cover this first...

Paul Pierce, poster boy: Wait, wait, wait. Mo Williams can dunk? That's new one to me. And to Paul Pierce, apparently.


Said Williams: "Paul is 6-7, 6-8. I thought he'd block a layup. I was kind of high. I thought I could try. It turned out good. It was a great feeling, I'll tell you that."

Added LeBron: "I knew Mo could dunk. I told Mo a long time ago if he ever dunked in a game it was going to spark us like we haven't been sparked before. Not only did it fire the team, it fired himself up."

It..."fired himself up"? Uh, okay. Anyway, it sure did -- Williams scored 14 points in the quarter -- and it certainly did something for the Crabs as well, because they outscored the Celtics 21-9 over the final five minutes of the quarter and by 19 the rest of the way. Before Mo's jam, Cleveland had been shooting 21-for-28 (43 percent). After that, they went 17-for-30 (57 percent). Meanwhile, Boston had been shooting 27-for-52 (52 percent) but went only 9-for-29 (31 percent) after Williams posterized the Half-Truth.

The Boston Celtics: So where was I? Oh, yeah. The Celtics might have let their best chance at stealing home court advantage from the Craboliers slip away. This is due mostly to their patented second half offensive collapse...which this time meant barely outscoring King Crab 15-13 in the fourth quarter.

Why can't the Celtics close out games? Perhaps AnacondaHL knows the answer:

Query: Do the Celtics keep coming out of halftime leads to blow it in the 3rd/4th because Doc Rivers has to give an obligatory locker room motivational speech, and it just makes them all dumber, and/or hate life?

An anonymous commenter provided the following (possibly more accurate) counterpoint:

More like 3 of their 4 best players are only good for about 20 minutes a game before running out of gas. Though I like your answer better (side note: does anyone else get angry that Doc Rivers and Mike Brown have more Coach of the Year awards than Jerry Sloan?)

To answer that last question: Yes. Yes, it does.

Back to the C's: Giving up 23 points off 16 turnovers didn't help. Nor did their offensive ineptitude down the stretch. Here's what their final minute and a half looked like: Pierce missed a short jumper; offensive rebound by Kendrick Perkins; Pierce missed a wide open three; Perkins turnover; Michael Finley missed a triple. That sequence started with Boston down only 96-93. Ah well.

Boston's bench: 9 measly points? Gak. 'Sheed finished with only 2 points on 1-for-5 shooting, plus he had more fouls (3) than rebounds (2). Worst offseason pickup ever? Maybe not, but he's up there.

The Utah Jazz: As a long-time Jazz fan, I'm not sure how much I have to say about this one. It was like watching a rerun of a television show you hate. Utah fell behind early, the Lakers' bench let them back in, and then Mamba went all Mola Ram on the Jazz:

Because I haven’t for a while.
Said Deron Williams: "It is kind of repetitive. We had a chance to win this game, but we couldn't make the plays down the stretch. Kobe made some unbelievable shots, and that was pretty much it."

Pretty much.

Could this loss have been karma for clinching their first round victory over the Nuggets despite missing 17 free throws? No. The Lakers are just too big. Speaking of which...

Jerry Sloan, unintentionally dirty quote machine: From Shiv, via TrueHoop: "He's so big and long and that's where he hurt us."

Ron Artest, poster boy: I thought Paul Pierce's posterization looked pretty hapless...until I saw this.


Kobe Bryant, fashionista: stephanie g. sent this link. I kinda wish she hadn't.



Gilbert Arenas: As Basketbawful reader Brian noted in the BAD comments, Agent Zero is still having gun problems.

Belated WotNs: Basketbawful reader Amin couldn't believe I didn't include this in Friday's Suns-Blazers writeup. I can't either.


This was stephanie g.'s favorite picture from the final Spurs-Mavs game. And not it's mine.


Weekend lacktion report: Now chris brings you a weekend worth of lacktivity:

Hawks-Bucks: You knew as soon as "Hawks" came up on your screen, that the ultimate 8-bit plumber would be here lacking it up, right? THE Mario West helped celebrate the Game 7 that Atlanta forced by fouling once in 1 minute for a +1 suck differential.

For Milwaukee, Dan Gadzuric negated a board in 5:45 with two bricks, one foul, and one giveaway for a 2:1 Voskuhl.

Nuggets-Jazz: As Utah celebrates yet another playoff series victory, Kyrylo Fesenko found himself in the ledger despite one board in 10:24, bricking thricely, losing the rock four times, and fouling three times for a 7:1 Voskuhl!

Sundiata Gaines (at 29 seconds) and Othyus Jeffers (at a mere 19 seconds) really relish their Famicom, as evidenced by a second straight appearance as MARIO BROTHERS!!!

Celtics-Crabs: Marquis Daniels potted a 1.95 trillion (1:57) while Zydrunas Ilgauskas scratched a piece of masonry once and clawed at the C's for a pair of fouls in 5:09 for a +3 suck differential and a 2:0 Voskuhl!

Bucks-Hawks: Maurice Evans celebrated Atlanta's second consecutive second-round appearance by bricking once from Underground Atlanta for a +1 in 6:20.

Jazz-Lakers: Josh Powell piled on the portobellos in just nine seconds for a SUPER MARIO!!!

Labels: Boston Celtics, Denver Nuggets, Milwaukee Bucks, Oklahoma City Thunder, Utah Jazz

"Let him shoot! Let him shoot! Let him...oh, shit!"
The Chicago Bulls: Honestly, I'm not sure what else the Bulls could have done. They played a near perfect game.

No, they didn't shoot the ball well -- 44 percent as a team, including 4-for-13 from three-point range -- but they've been a limited offensive team all season. However, they flipped the script from Game 1 by taking care of the ball (only 4 turnovers), sharing the ball (25 assists), controlling the offensive boards (13-5), thriving off second-chance points (19), running out in transition (18 fast break points) and outscoring Cleveland 56-38 in the paint.

It very well could have been a winning effort...except for friggin' LeBron James.

King Crab scored a game-high 40 points, including 15 in the pivotal fourth quarter. But what was most demoralizing is how he scored those points. You expect James to be dominate around the basket, and he did, dunking the ball once and hitting all six of his layup attempts. This included a statement dunk on poor James Johnson and a spectacular up-and-under scooping layup on Noah.

But like I said, you expect that.

What you -- and, certainly, the Bulls -- don't expect is for LeBron to sizzle from the outside. During the regular season, James shot only 33 percent from downtown and had an Effective Field Goal Percentage of 43 percent on jump shots. King Crab might very well be the best player on planet Earth, but if there's a weakness in his game, it's his outside shooting.

Of course, people said the same thing about Michael Jordan in 1992, and we all know how that turned out. I think Clyde Drexler is still recovering from that revelation.

Anyway, LeBron went 9-for-16 from outside and 2-for-4 from beyond the arc, including one ridiculous trey right in Noah's mug. It was so freaky far away from the hoop that Joakim returned to the scene of the crime after the game to investigate the distance from which James took the shot.

Said Noah: "That's a long way. You've got to be kidding me."

As for LeBron, he didn't pull off any Jordan-like shrugs -- although he did do a little dance after hitting that three on Noah -- but he did address Chicago's strategy of trying to force him to shoot: "They were telling me I can't make jump shots. They asked me to shoot a jumper so I did that. Over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again." That's right. Eight "overs."

Damn, he's good. But damn, I hate him.

This sort of looks like the final shot from a moviewhere a famous athlete helps a special needs child.
James Johnson, poster boy: Poor rookie.


After the game, LeBron -- overflowing with modesty -- reluctantly conceded that dunk was one of his greatest: "It definitely ranks up there. It's one of the best ones."

Joakim Noah, quote machine, Part 1: When asked whether he regretted making anti-Cleveland comments between Games 1 and 2, Noah said...well...here's the video:


Joakim Noah, quote machine, Part II: "We were real focused at the beginning and we played with poise. It just came down to them hitting big shot after big shot. LeBron's pretty good. He's actually a very good player."

Joakim Noah, quote machine, Part III: "LeBron's hitting unbelievable shots. Yes, it's tough. But we've got to play them again, so I don't want to be up here and give LeBron all this credit. Yeah, he played an unbelievable game. It's tough right now. I hate to lose, so I'm a little frustrated by that. But we'll be ready to go come Thursday."

Joakim Noah: Ready to go.
Vinny Del Negro, quote machine: Time to update your spreadsheet of strange in-game promotions: The Cavs gave their fans a box of macaroni and cheese and encouraged them to shake it while the Bulls -- especially Noah -- were shooting free throws. (For the record, Noah, a career 70 percent foul shooter, went 5-for-5.) Regarding the promotion, Vinny said: "I'm Italian, I like macaroni. I'm hoping I can get a few boxes after the game. I love pasta. Penne, spaghetti -- I actually like linguine. I hope they pass some linguine out."

Huh. Suddenly feeling hungry.

The Denver Nuggets: Okay, let's get some things straight. The Utah Jazz are not a deep team, assuming "deep" means "having multiple talented players on their bench." Without Andrei Kirilenko, they have nobody to guard Carmelo Anthony. Minus Mehmet Okur, they were forced to start Kyrylo Fesenko at center, and Fesenko responded with more fouls and turnovers (5 and 2) than points and rebounds (4 and 2) in 20 minutes. All things being equal, the Nuggets should have taken a 2-0 series lead last night.

Didn't happen tho'.

Chauncey Billups: Mr. Big Shot finished with 17 points despite shooting only 4-for-11. Billups finished with almost as many fouls and turnovers (10) as assists (11), but that's not why he's here. It's because his counterpart, Deron Williams, owned him so thoroughly that I half-expected to see Deron try to sell Chauncey on eBay. Williams went off for 33 points and 14 assists. He was 7-for-14 from the field, 3-for-4 from downtown and a mind-boggling 16-for-18 from the foul line.

Said Billups: "D-Will and Booz, they had their way." And Williams had his way with you, Chauncey. I'm just sayin'.

J.R. Smith: Remember how he exploded in the fourth quarter of Game 1? And how I said Smith can shoot his team in or out of a game? Well, in Game 2, J.R. went 3-for-10, including 1-for-6 from three-point range.

Carmelo Anthony: 'Melo made a living at the free throw line Anthony -- 14-for-15 for the game -- but he went 9-for-25 from the field and fouled out of a playoff game for the first time of his career.

Did I mention that four of his six fouls were of the offensive variety? The foul out forced Anthony to miss the final 25 seconds of the game, which was a pretty big deal considering Denver was down one point at the time and only lost by three.

Said Boozer: "Him not being in there the last 25 seconds was huge for us."

Don't worry, 'Melo. The people of Utah still love you. Or...something. H/T AnacondaHL.


Of course, this is the NBA, so naturally there's a little controversy over 'Melo's sixth foul...

Officiating: Anthony got whistled for personal foul number six after taking a swipe at C.J. Miles. There was only one problem: Miles stepped out of bounds before Anthony did his Edward Scissor Hands impersonation. Unfortunately for Denver, the refs missed it. 'Melo had to take a seat and sank both freebies to put Utah up 110-107.

That's a pretty big play.

Said Miles: "I knew I was close but it was only because he was hitting me. He was trying to get the ball."

Speaking of fouls...

Hack-a-palooza 2010: That's what it was at the Pepsi Center last night, as the Jazz and Nuggets combined for 67 personal fouls and 91 free throw attempts. You read that correctly: 91 foul shots, 47 for Utah and 44 for Denver. What's more, Jazz coach Jerry Sloan got tagged with a technical foul and 'Melo got clled for a flagrant.

That's playoff basketball I guess.

Jerry Sloan, quote machine: "I think we tried to get to [Anthony] a little bit earlier. In the game before we let everybody go where they wanted to go. Sometimes you get tired of taking a butt kicking."

Kevin Garnett: Here's KG's reaction to his one-game suspension for going all Macho Man Randy Savage on Quentin Richardson:

"No, I wasn't surprised at all, to be honest," said Garnett. "I told my man, [Celtics vice president of media relations] Jeff Twiss, when we were talking that I just want my message to be done, and all of this to be over with. My message here is: Whoever it is, my teammates, [Celtics coach] Doc Rivers, or anyone in the organization, I want them to know I got their back.

"The elbow wasn't deliberate. The league does what it has to do to set the tone. I respect that. It's time to move on and get back to a wonderful series."

Not deliberate? Really, KG? C'mon, man. You don't swing a lethal elbow like that non-deliberately. It's impossible.

Naturally, Garnett tried to throw a little blame Richardson's way:

"You know how it goes," said Garnett. "The person that usually instigates something is not the one that usually gets the penalty. But it's over. It's what it is. We've both been dealt with."

As Basketbawful reader That's not in the book said: "All aboard the KG Train O' Dislogic: He's 'got his (team's) back,' Quentin Richardson 'instigates something,' yet the thrown elbow 'wasn't deliberate.' Tab A does not Slot B in this argument."

Doc Rivers is riding KG's train:

"My only statement on the whole thing, I accept Kevin being suspended, if you go by the letter of the law, you kinda knew it was going to go that way," said Rivers. "But if your really want to stop the fights, you gotta suspend the agitator, too. I think right now, the agitator gets fined, the retaliator gets suspended in all these things. Until they stop the agitator, and fine them, and suspend them both, then you'll have these things."

??? Uhm, just watch. Hat tip to Deadspin, via Dan B.


Lacktion report: Two games was still enough for chris to eke out some lacktion:

Bulls-Crabs: James Johnson fouled thricely in 4:52 and added a brick and rejection for a +5 suck differential, while JJ Hickson held a Game Boy for a full 10 seconds to earn his second straight Mario!!!

Jazz-Nuggets: Kyrylo Fesenko went 100% for field goals in two attempts as starting big man, but for the rest of his 19:44 stint, he countered an assist and board as well with five fouls and two giveaways for a 7:6 Voskuhl. Othyus Jeffers jammed a brick into the proceedings and also took a rejection for a celebratory +2 in 3:07.

Labels: Chicago Bulls, Cleveland Cavaliers, Denver Nuggets, Doc Rivers, Joakim Noah, Kevin Garnett, NBA playoffs, Utah Jazz, Worst of the Night