My head hurts right now. Either it's because my allergies are bothering me right now, or because I just looked at a box score from any Washington game this season. Not sure which.

Worst of the Night in Pictures:



Nationally Televised Games:

Grizzlies at Thunder, ESPN, 8pm: This will be the fifth game the Thunder have played in a week. Are we sure we aren't still on last year's lockout-compressed schedule?

Heat at Clippers, ESPN, 10:30pm: What parallel dimension are we living in? "The Clippers' 9-2 home record against the Heat since 2001-02 is their second-best against any opponent. Miami, which is 2-1 on its current six-game road swing, has lost four straight on the road in this series."


All The Other Games:

Pistons at 76ers, 7pm: Per STATS LLC, "The Pistons have played six games on the road, where they've gone 16-64 since the start of 2010-11 to post the league's second-worst winning percentage (.200)." As always, I am amazed when the Pistons play poorly on the road. You'd think they'd be ecstatic to get the hell out of Detroit.

Jazz at Celtics, 7:30pm: Al Jefferson has yet to beat the Celtics ever since he was shipped off to Minnesota in the Kevin Garnett trade. Is he overdue for a revenge game? Or is there a statue of limitations on that sort of thing?

Pacers at Bucks, 8pm: The Pacers have yet to break 100 points this season and are averaging 88 points per game. (Checks calendar for when Danny Granger will be available to play again) Well, crap.

Hornets at Rockets, 8pm: According to his former teammate at Kentucky Darius Miller, Anthony Davis "plays a lot more aggressive, and with a lot more intensity when he gets angry." Huh. I never realized the Incredible Hulk had a unibrow.

Bobcraps at Timberwolves, 8pm: Since when did the Frail Blazers relocate to Minnesota?

Wizards Generals at Mavericks, 8:30pm: Congratulations, Washington. You managed to make the Charlotte Bobcraps look like a competent basketball team. You should feel great shame.

Hawks at Warriors, 10:30pm: Fun fact of the day: "Atlanta's Al Horford is averaging 18.9 points in seven games against the Warriors, his highest against any opponent and 6.1 better than his career average." Someone having career highs against the Warriors? Impossible! I don't believe it!!

Labels: Bawful After Dark

First off, nice to see Mr. Bawful himself chime in earlier today. Go read his take if you haven't already done so.

In super scary news, Gilbert Arenas can't work out a deal to play in China! OOOOHH! AAAAAH!!

And in somehow even less surprising news, Delonte West has effectively posted his resume on Twitter hoping to find a new team. Of course he has.

Worst Of The Night In Pictures:





Nationally Televised Games:
Spurs at Hornets, NBA TV, 8pm: Thanks Time Warner for sucking slightly less than usual lately and adding NBA TV to my cable lineup, this will be the first legitimate NBA game I actually get to watch on NBA TV in the comfort of my own home! Therefore I fully expect this to be the most boring game in the history of professional basketball. You have been warned.

Oh, and Eric Gordon out indefinitely with knee problems. Sigh.

Lakers at Trail Blazers, NBA TV, 10:30pm: The roster has been overhauled and the team has a new look. It'll be interesting to see how it plays out.

What? Oh, I'm talking about the Blazers, not the Lakers. Sorry for the confusion.

All The Other Games:
Pacers at Raptors, 7pm: I'm not going to call them the Craptors yet on the off chance that they aren't terrible. I'm nice like that. I AM, however, going to post the clip of the raptor losing control and faceplanting because it's the greatest moment ever captured on film. Sound fair?



Nuggets at 76ers, 7pm: Breaking: Andrew Bynum not available for this game. Also breaking: Andrew Bynum.

Rockets at Pistons, 7:30pm: Jeremy Lin, James Harden, James Harden's Beard... Interested to see how this goes.

Kings at Bulls, 8pm: Tough season for both teams. Chicago has to figure out how the hell to keep winning without Derrick Rose. Sacramento has to figure out how the hell to stay in Sacramento. I'm not sure which is more realistic...

Also, Bulls are unlikely to extend Taj Gibson. BRB, gonna go sing the stingy team owner blues.

Mavericks at Jazz, 9pm: According to the STATS LLC game preview I read, Paul Millsap is "the only remaining player from the franchise's 53-win team in 2009-10." The last time I saw that much turnover action that fast was Tony Romo in the first quarter against the Giants last week. Hiyooo

Warriors at Suns, 10pm: Jared Dudley on Goran Dragic becoming the starting point guard for the Suns: "I thought him leaving, going to Houston and starting has helped his confidence, helped his maturity. He definitely is the face of the franchise now. It's his show." I am still not sure how I feel about this... I remember watching Dragic come off the bench for Steve Nash a couple years ago and thinking how I loved Dragic's energy and aggressiveness. But then I'd see him turn the ball over spectacularly and get frustrated. Does anyone here have any more recent time spent watching Dragic? How do you feel about him?

Grizzlies at Clippers, 10:30pm: You really should go read this great piece by Jonathan Abrams -- it's a behind-the-scenes look at how Lionel Hollins is coaching the Grizzlies. Fascinating stuff. Almost as fascinating as Hollins' jacked-up fingers.

Labels: Bawful After Dark, Halloween

Worst Of The Preseason In Pictures:

(Seriously, great to see him back on the court!)

Nationally Televised Games:

Celtics at Heat, TNT, 8pm: Hey, did you know Ray Allen doesn't get along with Rajon Rondo?

What? You did? How could you possibly have known that?

Oh, every single friggin' piece of NBA news the past few weeks has revolved around this? I see. Carry on then.

Mavericks at Lakers, TNT, 10:30pm: Anyone who happens to see me while I'm watching any game featuring Steve Nash in Lakers colors, just ignore my eye twitching. Pretty sure it's going to be like that all season.

All The Other Games:

Wizards Generals at Cavaliers, 7pm: Now, see, this is how the NBA treats us fans. They act like "yeah we're gonna give you this awesome Celtics/Heat game to start the season! We care about you so much!" But then in reality, for those NBA fans with League Pass or local TV market coverage, the first actual game of opening night is this steaming turd laid directly on your doorstep. The NBA -- It's FAAAAANTASTIC!

You know what? Instead of wasting your time on this game, I recommend you watch this delightful clip from Titanic: The Animated Movie!

Labels: Bawful After Dark, preseason

I just turned 28 this weekend. And my girlfriend and a few of my friends helped me celebrate it by taking me to play laser tag. Yep, it's good to be a grown ass adult. (cough)

I'd like to take a quick moment to recognize Kobe Bryant's fantastically bawful 3-for-20 effort from the field last night in a home loss to the Utah Jazz. Kobe, Captain Obvious Machine, chimed in after the game: "I couldn't make a shot." Yep, yep. Even better , he missed a trey in the waning seconds that would have tied the game. Of course he did.

Also, alert! Everyone can rest easy finally! The Clipper Darrell saga has been resolved.

Worst of the Weekend in Pictures:


Nationally Televised Games:

Bulls at Magic, TNT, 8:00pm: The Derrick Rose list of injuries is starting to get kind of ridiculous. And frustrating. All right, fess up, who's got the D-Rose voodoo doll???

Mavericks at Nuggets, TNT, 10:30pm: The Mavericks are on their longest road losing streak since 1999. Has it really been THAT long since they won the championship?

All The Other Games:

76ers at Bobcraps, 7:00pm: Charlotte has won two of their last four. Look out, NBA! They're RED HOT! (Hey, when you stink like a tire fire at a landfill, winning two out of four is like winning a playoff series.)

Celtics at Hawks, 7:30pm: The Celtics got curbstomped by Suckramento Friday. Is this road trip over with yet?

Cavaliers at Nyets, 7:30pm: The Nyets are 5-16 at home, but 10-15 on the road. Maybe they should start sleeping in hotels even when they're at home to trick themselves into playing better?

Timberwolves at Warriors, 10:30pm: My finger slipped when I was typing this and I somehow typed Gwarriors. I don't know about you, but I bet Golden State would be a lot more interesting if they were, in fact, a team composed of members of the band Gwar. Or at least there would be considerably more urine-flinging.

Labels: Bawful After Dark

The answer: Seven seconds or less.
The question: how long did it take Mike D'Antoni to hand James Dolan his resignation and get the hell out of there this afternoon?

Also, important news for all of you, I'm sure: Antoine Walker's comeback effort isn't going so well.

Also, thanks again Raza for pitching in and helping us out with some great WOTN efforts!

Worst of the Night in Pictures:



Nationally Televised Games:

76ers at Pacers, ESPN, 7:00pm: You know, this really has a good chance to be an entertaining game. Good call, ESPN.

Heat at Bulls, ESPN, 9:30pm: Derrick Rose hasn't had a very good past few days. And considering how the Heat have seemed to match up well against the Bulls...

All The Other Games:

Craptors at Nyets, 7:30pm: The battle to not finish last in the Atlantic division. Compelling stuff, folks.

Trail Blazers at Knicks, 7:30pm: My favorite thing today related to the Knicks? This tweet.

Lakers at Hornets, 8:00pm: The Hornets are fresh off a loss to the Bobcraps. The BOBCRAPS. They may forfeit this game because they don't have enough players able to shake off crippling depression and get out of bed in time for the game.

Bobcraps at Rockets, 8:00pm: Did you know the Bobcraps have failed to break the 80 point barrier THIRTEEN TIMES this season? I was unaware they didn't have a 24 second clock rule in Charlotte games nowadays.

Cavaliers at Bucks, 8:00pm: The Bucks have acquired Kwame Brown. If that doesn't turn the tide and send them to a championship this season, I don't know what will.

Magic at Spurs, 8:30pm: Would anybody else be okay with not having to hear Dwight Howard's name mentioned for a few days? I don't know about the rest of you, but I need a break.

Pistons at Kings, 10:00pm: Pretty sure it's time to start calling it the Leastern Conference again, you guys. Per STATS LLC: "With four wins in six games, the Pistons have climbed back into the fringe of playoff contention. They are currently 11th in the East, three games behind New York and Milwaukee, which are tied for the final spot." They are 15-27!

Celtics at Warriors, 10:30pm: Not fair. This game is after half the Celtics' players usual bedtimes! If they aren't allowed to watch Matlock before the game, they're gonna really be grumpy.

Hawks at Clippers, 10:30pm: The Clips have dropped 8 of their last 12. Pretty sure I could have copied and pasted that sentence from any Clippers game preview from prior to this season. Ah, nostalgia...

Jazz at Suns, 10:30pm: The Jazz are 15-6 at home... and 5-15 on the road. If they lose again tonight, that'll be impressively perfectly symmetrical! Neat.

Labels: Bawful After Dark

Yes, the Magic let the Bobcraps run over their asses last night. That's just embarrassing, and I'm not even a Magic fan or hater. But right now I don't want to even look at you or think about you, Orlando. You disgust me! Get out of my sight!

Worst of the Night in Pictures:


Nationally Televised Games:

Hawks at Heat, NBA TV, 7:30pm: GAH! Another game to remind me of the triple overtime game of doom! The nightmares had just started to fade too...

Grizzlies at Warriors, NBA TV, 10:30pm: Memphis has won 10 of its last 12. Yep. You just read that right. This is the same Memphis team we used to rip mercilessly. Way to turn it around, guys.

All The Other Games:

Celtics at 76ers, 7:00pm: (looks at calendar) Is it time for another Rajon Rondo triple double yet? I love Rondo when he's pissed off and motivated.

Lakers at Wizards Generals, 7:00pm: The Lakers just lost in overtime to the Pistons. The Pistons!! Kobe didn't shoot very well in that loss. Prepare yourself for Kobe to do something interesting tonight, whether that means going off for 40 points or having another 8-for-26 kind of night.

Rockets at Craptors, 7:00pm: The Rockets have lost two straight overtime games. Someone please notify them this isn't hockey and you don't get credit for making it into overtime no matter if you win or lose.

Jazz at Bobcraps, 7:00pm: Charlotte has yet to win back to back games all season. And really, if you've seen this team, do you have any reason at all to expect that to change?

Bulls at Bucks, 8:00pm: Rip Hamilton is hurt. Water is wet, sun rises in the east, yada yada yada...

Trail Blazers at Timberwolves, 8:00pm: Quote that caught my eye when reading the STATS LLC game preview for this one... "Minnesota has won four of six overall despite Ricky Rubio shooting 9 for 45 from the field." I know Rubio's shooting has always been a wild card, but holy hell! He does realize you don't have to wear a blindfold while shooting, right?

Clippers at Nyets, 8:00pm: Well, bad news. The Nyets are on a 7 game home losing streak. But the good news? That's only half as bad as their 14 game home losing streak two years ago!

Suns at Thunder, 8:00pm: Steve Nash is Awesome Fact of the Day: he is leading all guards in field goal percentage at 53.8%.

Knicks at Spurs, 8:30pm: If Steve Novak scores double digits tonight, it'll be a career-high sixth straight game. *sniff* Our little Null-Star is all grown up. I'm so proud.

Cavaliers at Nuggets, 9:00pm: Six straight losses. Think the Cavs miss Sideshow Bob Anderson Varejao just a little?

Hornets at Kings, 10:00pm: The Kings are opening a franchise-record 9 game home stand. Here we stay, indeed!

Labels: Bawful After Dark

Hi gang. I know we have been awfully dead around here lately. Apologies. This season has been a bit of a struggle for all of us, and Bawful's been taking care of some stuff recently. Don't worry, all is good and he told me he should be back to WOTN writeups as soon as tomorrow hopefully. In the meantime, some strong pictures for you from the weekend of suck.

Worst of the Weekend in Pictures:



Nationally Televised Games:

Mavericks at Thunder, NBA TV, 8:00pm: Dirk pulled himself out of his shooting slump and faces Kevin Durant -- there is nothing notably bawful about this game (except the Thunder's tendency to turn the ball over more than any other team in the league). So I'll just post this completely random picture I saw on Reddit the other day and have zero context to use it in today:



All The Other Games:

Jazz at Cavaliers, 7:00pm: Well, Utah fans. The Jazz are 14-6 at home. (That's good!) They're, however, 3-13 on the road. (That's bad!) But they're playing the Cavaliers! (That's good!) But it's a road game. (That's bad!). No word on whether the first 5000 in attendance get a free frogurt. (Sorry, haven't referenced the Simpsons in too long. Had to fill my quota. It's in my contract.)

Warriors at Wizards Generals, 7:00pm: Oh good grief. The Warriors -- the all-offense, all-the-time Warriors -- have averaged only 80ppg over their last four. And they're playing the Generals! On the Unwatchablity scale, this is somewhere between Cop Rock and H8R.

Magic at Craptors, 7:00pm: The Rollerskating Dinosaurs haven't won back to back games in six weeks. Plus they have been extinct for 65 million years. Just saying.

Pacers at Bulls, 8:00pm: If the Pacers can win one in Chicago tonight, it would be their first seven game win streak since the Malice at the Palace team destroyed the franchise for years and years. And considering the Pacers are one of only two teams not named the Bulls to earn a W in the United Center this season...

76ers at Bucks, 8:00pm: The Sixers have lost seven of their last nine, but they STILL lead the Atlantic division. By two games! This season is officially a mess.

Clippers at Timberwolves, 8:00pm: The Clips lost just one week ago to the Timberwolves. Any chance they will be out for revenge since the loss is still fresh in their minds? Or will they just be tired from being on the second night of a back to back on the road?

Kings at Nuggets, 9:00pm: Good thing Birdman Andersen has that ridiculous mountain man beard look going on this season. It probably cushioned the blow a little last night when Tim Duncan thwacked him in the face with the ball, then dunked all over his ass for good measure.

Hornets at Trail Blazers, 10:00pm: The Blazers are below .500 for the first time all season, and they get to play the trainwreck Hornets. Good for them.

Labels: Bawful After Dark, Lamar Odom doesn't want Vince Carter sniffing him

Tonight's reading material about a Null-Star: The Wonderful, Terrible Bill Walker.

Worst of the Night in Pictures:




Nationally Televised Games:

Thunder at Magic, TNT, 8:00pm: The last time the Thunder won a game in Orlando, it was 2004 and they were still called the Seattle Supersonics. That was so long ago, you could still buy a new Oldsmobile. Woah.

Heat at Trail Blazers, TNT, 10:30pm: Chris Bosh will miss the next two games with a death in the family. Condolences.

All The Other Games:

Timberwolves at Suns, 9:00pm: I saw some rumors on Twitter today that a Lamar Odom/Steve Nash trade has been talked about. Pleasepleasepleaseplease??

Clippers at Kings, 10:00pm: The Clippers start a six game road trip. I dunno, you guys. Staying away from Donald Sterling for awhile might be a good thing for them.

Labels: Bawful After Dark, Monty Python

Important reading: Jonathan Abrams' "An oral history of the Malice in the Palace."

The best part?

"Bill Laimbeer didn't seem to be particularly bothered by it. He was kind of nonplussed by the whole thing."

Of course.

Worst of the Night in Pictures:



Nationally Televised Games:


Bulls at Spurs, ESPN, 9:00pm: Derrick Rose has apologized for letting down the fans and missing a free throw Tuesday night and killing Free Big Mac Excitement. Yes, this actually happened. No, this is not satire from The Onion.

All The Other Games:

Thunder at 76ers, 7:00pm: The last time the Sixers played, they held the Pistons to 31.6% shooting. Pretty sure the Thunder could shoot better than that playing with those tiny ass rims they use at carnival basketball games to keep you from winning stuffed animals.

Magic at Wizards Generals, 7:00pm: Breaking news: Andray Blatche wore Uggs to the DMV.

Warriors at Hawks, 7:30pm: After getting pummeled Tuesday night, Mark Jackson had this to say about his Warriors: "This is not our brand of basketball." Okay then. So what IS their brand of basketball? Are they some generic knockoff brand? Are they the basketball equivalent of someone buying you a Rolecks watch?

Bucks at Celtics, 7:30pm: Just look at all the similarities! Both teams ended long losing streaks in their most recent games. And both were won on last-minute plays. And both teams kind of suck.

Bobcraps at Pistons, 7:30pm: Mother of God. The only offense is in this game will be the way it offends viewers.

Cavaliers at Knicks, 7:30pm: Linsanity is now New York City street art. Yep.

Craptors at Hornets, 8:00pm: Dwane Casey on his Toronto squad: "Basketball plays and basketball decisions have to get better." So in other words EVERYTHING has to get better. Duly noted, Coach.

Mavericks at Grizzlies, 8:00pm: Zach Randolph participated in the non-contact portion of the Grizzlies' Monday practice. Z-Bo!! Here's to hoping he comes back and entertains us again very soon.

Trail Blazers at Nuggets, 9:00pm: Portland recently signed Joel Przybilla for added depth at center. When the Vanilla Gorilla is an important signing, I am not sure what that says about your team.

Rockets at Jazz, 9:00pm: The Rockets are about to start a stretch where they play on the road 8 times in 11 games. They have only put up a 6-10 road record this year so far. Ruh roh.

Timberwolves at Lakers, 10:30pm: Kobe has a broken nose. I fully expect to see him try to play hero ball to prove it won't slow him down any.

Labels: Bawful After Dark, Bill Laimbeer

It's President's Day! That means it's time for our annual history lesson about George Washington. If you don't watch, he will eat your children.

Worst of the Night in Pictures:






Kevin Love always has the best pictures

Labels: Bawful After Dark, George Washington is made of radiation