With all due respect, ma'am, that has to be the worst "yo momma" joke I've ever heard

The answer: Seven seconds or less.
The question: how long did it take Mike D'Antoni to hand James Dolan his resignation and get the hell out of there this afternoon?

Also, important news for all of you, I'm sure: Antoine Walker's comeback effort isn't going so well.

Also, thanks again Raza for pitching in and helping us out with some great WOTN efforts!

Worst of the Night in Pictures:



Caption This!
What is George Karl doing?


"Oh my God! It's a black Michael Myers!! Oh, wait, no, it's just Kobe. False alarm."


Okay then.


I feel like we've seen this picture before...

Nationally Televised Games:

76ers at Pacers, ESPN, 7:00pm: You know, this really has a good chance to be an entertaining game. Good call, ESPN.

Heat at Bulls, ESPN, 9:30pm: Derrick Rose hasn't had a very good past few days. And considering how the Heat have seemed to match up well against the Bulls...

All The Other Games:

Craptors at Nyets, 7:30pm: The battle to not finish last in the Atlantic division. Compelling stuff, folks.

Trail Blazers at Knicks, 7:30pm: My favorite thing today related to the Knicks? This tweet.

Lakers at Hornets, 8:00pm: The Hornets are fresh off a loss to the Bobcraps. The BOBCRAPS. They may forfeit this game because they don't have enough players able to shake off crippling depression and get out of bed in time for the game.

Bobcraps at Rockets, 8:00pm: Did you know the Bobcraps have failed to break the 80 point barrier THIRTEEN TIMES this season? I was unaware they didn't have a 24 second clock rule in Charlotte games nowadays.

Cavaliers at Bucks, 8:00pm: The Bucks have acquired Kwame Brown. If that doesn't turn the tide and send them to a championship this season, I don't know what will.

Magic at Spurs, 8:30pm: Would anybody else be okay with not having to hear Dwight Howard's name mentioned for a few days? I don't know about the rest of you, but I need a break.

Pistons at Kings, 10:00pm: Pretty sure it's time to start calling it the Leastern Conference again, you guys. Per STATS LLC: "With four wins in six games, the Pistons have climbed back into the fringe of playoff contention. They are currently 11th in the East, three games behind New York and Milwaukee, which are tied for the final spot." They are 15-27!

Celtics at Warriors, 10:30pm: Not fair. This game is after half the Celtics' players usual bedtimes! If they aren't allowed to watch Matlock before the game, they're gonna really be grumpy.

Hawks at Clippers, 10:30pm: The Clips have dropped 8 of their last 12. Pretty sure I could have copied and pasted that sentence from any Clippers game preview from prior to this season. Ah, nostalgia...

Jazz at Suns, 10:30pm: The Jazz are 15-6 at home... and 5-15 on the road. If they lose again tonight, that'll be impressively perfectly symmetrical! Neat.

Labels:

26 Comments:
Blogger stephanie g said...
Thanks to Raza for keeping this site on life support. It's in worse shape than the Knicks! Or Orlando if Dwight walks at the end of the season. Well...maybe not that bad.

The chest/shoulder/side bump seems to be pretty dangerous for a celebratory gesture. I'm surprised someone hasn't twisted an ankle or otherwise injured something while doing it. Like when Nate faceplanted after jumping over Pierce a couple years ago.

Didn't it grow in popularity because it's not as gay as a slap on the butt? Except the participants end up bumping their chests and crotches against each other.

Anonymous Silvio said...
No Walsh anymore, no D'Antoni.
So how long until Bricks are back in Isiah era state? I'd put over/under line at 3 years. I'm conservative, not that they'd deteriorate slowly ... but it's damn hard to match Isiah's "achievements" .

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Gina Bellman's an Orlando fan? Go figure.

Blogger Onandonymous said...
Wooo! D'ead coach bounce! And that's a HELL of a bounce. Every single Knick had a positive plus/minus... B-Dizzle dished 10 assists in 18 minutes, STAT was 8-10, and the Bricks beat the Fail Blazers by 22.

...unless we're counting the fourth quarter, in which case they beat them by 42. Damn.

Anonymous Ebb said...
damn that knicks game was some epic evidence that the dead coach theory is a theorem. Total explosion that was. Blazer's turn next!

Anonymous Stockton said...
I saw the first half of the Knicks-Blazers, and it sure looked like the Blazers were playing with blindfolds and boxing gloves.
Either that, or I tuned on some videogame in which one of the players was in god mode and the other was a blind man with no fingerss...

Anonymous JJ said...
That was some crazy dead coach bounce. I haven't seen the Knicks that lively since... ever? I love Lin, but he's getting way too many turnovers. And he was basically the only one who didn't hop on the dead coach express. It seems like he just can't gel with Melo and Amare that well. I think it'll be better to let Barron deal with those 2 egos and let Lin run with the bench. Not really a demotion since he's like a rookie PG at this point.

Anonymous Matt said...
Q: How do you know when your team is bawful?

A: When someone from the team with the third-lowest scoring average in the NBA says, about your team, "We knew we could score on that team".

Bonus: Every player from that team who took more than two shots hit at least 50% of them and they dropped 40 on you in a quarter.

Double Bonus: Your team was playing at home.

Is it too late to rethink that new arena thing?

Anonymous Raza said...
Hahaha that photo of John Wall was hilarious.

And thank you Stephanie!

Also, with the NBA store leaking those Dwight NJ t-shirts, I'm assuming a trade should be announced today?

Wouldn't Dwight and Deron be better off going to Dallas?

Great post Dan, as always my man.

Anonymous Silvio said...
Though I don't want to take anything away from dead coach bounce, that's proven theory ... I see another factor here.
Blazers' players are tanking cause they want get rid of coach McMillan. That plan could backfire and mutiny leaders could found themselves traded today.
For now, they lost 4 out of 5 with average of 22 points. Fifth game was vs Washington, pure Generals can't win even over team taking a dive.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
"I'm too loyal." - D. Howard

Anonymous Anonymous said...
As a Lakers fan, it is my sad duty to inform you all that Luke Walton has been traded.

Dry your tears, Cleveland. LeBron may be gone, but Luke is here, baby.

Anonymous Ebb said...
Damn Blazers shook up their roster pretty significantly. Fired Nate, traded off Wallace and Camby...Batum and LA bout to have a field day. Too bad they couldn't trade Felton because no one wanted him haha.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
As a Denver Nuggets fan, I am excited that we will be featured more often on Basketbawful.

Anonymous Raza said...
Just got back from taking my family out to dinner in celebration of the Spurs dumping Richard Jefferson. Even if Stephen Jackson isn't exactly at his 2003 level, getting rid of Jefferson's awful contract is a positive no matter how you slice it.

Anonymous Naz said...
How in the blue Kentucky fuck did Denver agree to trade Nene to the GENERALS for 2 shitty centers, RIGHT AFTER signing a big new contract for Nene?


I'm thinking a man named Luca Brasi and a gun is involved in this situation.

Anonymous BasketDane said...
Yeah I don´t get the Nuggets trade either. Nene is a solid center, and while Mcgee has potential, his basketball IQ seems retarded

Anonymous Stockton said...
I read on ESPN several comments like "it's too early to give up on McGee. He has potential"

Can imagine a conversation like that the day before Ostertag got an extension from the Jazz...

Blogger LotharBot said...
The Nuggets' reasoning is simple: they get younger, bigger, and cheaper.

Two years ago, they were one of the oldest teams in the league, with one of the highest payrolls, and with a drastically undersized frontcourt (Nene at 6'10, KMart at 6'8, Melo at 6'8). Now they have 11 players under contract who are age 26 or under (12 when they resign Chandler), they're under the cap (even after signing Chandler), and they've got 3 seven footers and some pretty big forwards.

They gave up Nene -- a player who I really like, but who is definitely limited -- for McGee, a player with a lot of upside but a limited supply of brains. While you never see Nene in the "not top 10", he often deserves to be in the "soft 10" for such plays as trying a finger roll when he could've dunked, letting a smaller player take a rebound from him, or shrinking away from big moments. Nene's a good defender and very efficient, but I'm not sure you can win with him as your highest-paid player, so I don't see a huge amount of downside in shipping him out.

I'm also not sure you can win with McGee on your team, period. But the Nuggets coaching staff managed to deal with JR Smith, Melo, KMart, and a host of other headcases with considerably less drama than those guys are producing on their current teams, so maybe they can handle JaVale as well. Of course, this is a very big maybe -- the most likely scenario is that the Nuggets stay more or less the same record-wise, but have more truly bawful moments in getting there. That's a trade I can support.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Dwight Howard: "..One of the biggest reasons is I'm too loyal. I believe loyalty is before anything."

Do you believe this asshole?

Blogger Liam Washburn said...
Long time follower, occasional commenter. Your blog has inspired me to try my hand at one of my own, only primarily focused on my team: the Blazers.

(if this is frowned upon, I'm okay with you deleting the link) http://rosegardentintedglasses.blogspot.com/

Anonymous Anonymous said...
So much bawful has happened! Remember when the site used to be updated?

Anonymous Anonymous said...
http://www.oregonlive.com/west-linn/index.ssf/2012/03/police_documents_offer_glimpse.html

Z-Bo at his finest.

Anonymous Stockton said...
If kobe's performance doesn't trigger a post today, nothing will...

Anonymous Raza said...
I'm going to try and get a post up for tomorrow. Will mostly focus on tonight's games, but if I have time I will try to include some of the best/worst of the weekend as well.

Hope everyone is doing well!

Anonymous Adrià said...
Raza for MVP!

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