Ready for the most bawful part of Linsanity? The famous 83 year old sex therapist Dr. Ruth Westheimer chimed in today about it!
For those missing out on Lin-sation because of TW-MSG no-deal, I propose you do your own scoring while Knicks are playing. 
What might a good Lin position be? Pick and roll, where you turn over while together so he starts out on top and you switch places. 
Back door play? You can figure that one out. 
Just remember there's no 24 second clock in your bedroom so I don't want you guys stopping and popping too quickly now.
Okay then.

One last bit of Linsanity before we move on. I know these Hitler parody movies are a pretty old, played out meme, but this one still made me laugh out loud a couple times.

Worst of the Night in Pictures:

Honestly, does this even need a caption to be funny?

Strike a pose

Nationally Televised Games:

Celtics at Bulls, TNT, 8:00pm: While this game might be entertaining, it also will teach us essentially nothing about what to expect should these teams battle come playoff time or even later in the season. Tired of all these injuries...

Also, interesting statistic: "Rondo has scored 20+ points in a game six times this season. The Celtics are 2-4 in those games."

Clippers at Trail Blazers, TNT, 10:30pm: Well, since Blake Griffin won't be in the Dunk Contest this year, I suppose he has plenty of time to prepare for tonight's game...

All The Other Games:

Nyets at Pacers, 7:00pm: Well. SOMEBODY has to break out of their losing streak tonight I guess. And it doesn't look good for the Nyets based on this brief analysis on how the compressed season has affected home and road teams in back-to-backs.

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Blogger kazam92 said...
Will humble back spasms keep Humble Humbleson out of the all star game? Because he's so humble it's killing him inside that he can't humble his team to humble.

Anonymous AK Dave said...
kazam92: Jeremy Lin is humbler than Rose. In fact, Jeremy Lin is ___er than ___ in general.

Anonymous Czernobog said...
"While this game might be entertaining, it also will teach us essentially nothing about what to expect should these teams battle come playoff time or even later in the season."

WTH? The Celtics are done. The Bulls are contenders. It might be close if Rose sits this one out, but the Celts have nothing for a healthy Bulls squad. There's no mystery here.

Anonymous Czernobog said...
Hitler got one thing right - betting against Omri Casspi. The man's a Cadaver, after all.

Anonymous kazek said...
Damn you kazam, you've made me look like a complete idiot in the office from my laughing fit. I can't stop and people can't stop judging me.


Btw, who would win in a humble contest, JLin or DRose?

Blogger XForce23 said...
Oh my, I've missed seeing those Hitler memes but that one was pure gold. I almost peed myself at the part about Jeffries airballing layups

Blogger Bing said...
All this humbleness from Rose/Lin and their ilk is getting on my goat. Viva la LeBron and his asshole ego?

Also, my "not a robot" code is lin-ershi student
Can't escape the linsanity!

Anonymous John said...
Well, there we have it...

Blogger kazam92 said...
DRose is still the king of humble, but Lin gets bonus points for defeating the "High Expectations Asian Father" meme.

Anonymous Sad Blazer Panda said...
Hah, Hitler referred to Ray Felton as "Stalin" because of the way he's murdering the Blazers right now.

Anonymous kazek said...
+1 for mentioning Asian father meme.

Also, we need some of those types of memes for JLin, no more Lin puns. Time for real internet respect in the form of colorful backgrounds and JLin humblebrag statements.

DRose = Mumble Humble
JLin = Harvard Humble, or maybe Fumble Humble to keep with the rhyme scheme.

No offense to DRose or anything, but his speeches are the white noise I listen to before I go to sleep.

Anonymous KazeK said...


Anonymous Barry said...
"I've seen Jared Jeffries airball wide open layups!"

Oh man, that was good.

Anonymous Silvio said...
Raymond Felton says lack of confidence from coach is cause for him being currently worst NBA starter (if not overall, then cost/performance for sure)

Felton said:
“It's to the point where the only person I could turn to was my mom.“

OMG, chick flick not seen since AK47 crying in locker room.

As expected, Blazers nation is full of understanding for whiny ... not

Blogger kazam92 said...
Kazek, I think Rose is a fantastic player, top 5 in the league, but frankly I think he's kind of dumb and it gets misconstrued as humble. He lacks any sort of charisma and his abuses of basketball cliches somehow make him this ultimate teammate. I'm sick and tired of Jon Barry and Mike Breen giving him BJs on air.

Blogger kazam92 said...
Also. Damn @ Felton. Dude looked like a top 5 PG last year with D'Antoni. Now he's regressed beyond his Bobcat days.

Blogger BJ said...
Oy, 'Bawful. Have you seen this?


Anonymous The Other Chris said...
What the fucking fuck. The Craptors lost to the Bobkittens?!? Seriously?? I.. ugh. Blargh.

Time to buy that Jeremy Lin jersey in time for the March 23rd rematch. I'm sure I can get one for $1.75 at Pacific Mall by now. Toronto area people will understand and laugh at this reference. Or be unable to read this after going blind from watching Toronto play "basketball". One or the other.


Blogger Wormboy said...
@kazek: "Harvard humble?" Those two words may have never been seen together. IN science circles we know of a phenomenon called "Harvard Head," which sort of tells you the likelihood of humility. Then again, there was recently an expose describing how far certain Ivies will drop their admissions standards for athletes. They've been going for the college sports bucks, too. I think it's a mistake and an erosion of their central product: educational excellence.

Anyway, just saying that a 3.1 from Harvard my not be the mind-blowing brainiac we think it is. But at least we can rely on some articulation, which is refreshing gien the level of dumbassery in the NBA. Let's consider Lin a Battier type.

Anonymous Anomynous said...
@ kazam92

I think you're right to a degree, this humble thing gets blown way out of proportion and he probably is not the sharpest tool in the shed.
However I think you can't really blame him for what the media is doing. Plus he's refreshingly different from all the other arrogant douches around the NBA (Kobe, LeBron, KG, etc.). I guess not being an asshole is already a merit in this league, especially if you're a star player.

Anonymous Silvio said...
Bawfulights from Friday

Jennings 4-20 FG, Stephen Jackson 1-6, two players not satisfied with their status combined for 5-26 shooting. I hope they won't run to their mom like Felton.
Still Bucks should win this one, they were up 45-30 in Q2, then allowed 14-1 run to Orlando Tragic. 68-58 in Q3, then allowed 14-4. Finally, Deers were up 82-72 with around 10 minutes to go, then scored only 3 points in those 10 minutes. We could call it triple choke.

Craptosaurus: they were outskilled by Bobcraps (which lost 16 in a row coming into this one). I mean, that wasn't unlucky loss. Teenager Bismack Biyombo (that is usually confused about which basket he should attack and which to defend) put 8 points with 13 rebounds and 7 blocks on them. Megabawful ... but at least they have excuse - Bargnani and Kleiza are injured, while Bayless played unfit. When injured Craptors heal, then they won't be most bawful East team, only 3rd worst (Generals, Bobcraps). Well, that's upside ... though most meaningless upside in the history.

Excremento: 25th ranked Piss-ons offense (99 points per 100 possessions which translates into meager 88 points per game) scored 114 points on them. That's all you need to now about Excremento defense. They can win only versus team of 12 Jared Jeffriesies missing open layup after open layup.

cHeaters at Cadavers 21-2 after 7 minutes. +19 in 7 minutes, in Q2 +27, and in 2nd half it went up to +34. We want mercy rule, Mr. Stern.

Lin, Jeremy 9 turnovers to make it 45 of them in his seven NBA starts.
In that game Hornets were up 71-59. Enters Jarrett Jack ... suddenly it is only 73-71. Luckily, coach is not completely blind, he put Vasquez back in, so Hornets somehow won equally bawful Bricks.

Sixers were in driving seat through1 st half, then Mavs destroyed them in 2nd half by 45-24 for 82-75 win. 76ers scored 8 points in Q3. They're not quite up there with big boys yet.
Jrue Holiday shot 0-9 and is 1-17 from field in last 2 games. I know he'll bounce back sooner or later ... but that's bawful, it's worse than Jennings.
In that game Dirk shot 2-11 in first half for 4 points, then hit 8 of first 10 shots in 2nd half for total 28 points.

Nuggets lost 102-103 at Grizzlies - nothing bawful about this game, despite multiple injuries on both sides, both teams played well. Sadly, such game is rare exception in Mr. Stern ruled NBA.

Anonymous Silvio said...
Bawfulights from Friday part 2 (4096 characters limit)

Pekovic and Love tag-teamed for 63 points and 29 rebounds. Pekovic (30+12) first put Dalembert in foul trouble, then made Jordan Hill looking like his little brother, scored 12 points in 6 minutes period of Q2. Love first watched Pek show, then decided to join (scored 21 of his 33 points in last 16 minutes of the game). Pek, Love and Rubio scored 81 of 111 Minnesota points, but also commited 16 of team 19 turnovers. Kind of obvious other players are spot-up watchers. If they want to be more than not-bawful-anymore they need to find some wing players and to strengthen bench. Perhaps there are naive GMs around that would give something valuable for Beasley and/or Derrick Williams based on name recognition.
Rockets, biggies: Scola is good but old, and others ... just space holders. Get rid of them!

Thunder destroyed Warriors, Monta Ellis and Curry shit identical 4-13 (it's typo, I meant to type shot, but shit looks kind of appropriate). Dorrel Wright 4-11, too bad he was not in game for 2 minutes more to make it trifecta. However, when bawful-defense Warriors shoot 34.8% from field, and 30% if you don't count David Lee's (not very good) 8-17, then outcome is predictable. They'd have hard times in WNBA with such performance.

An hour later, Jazz destroyed Generals. Generals are so bawtastic that Devin Harris actually had good game against them, 12 points and 9 assists, he entered game with 7.1 + 3.6 average in 8 February games. Jazz scored 62 points in first half, Al Jefferson alone 26 of it.

Lakers won Suns, 111-99, so nothing interesting to see there :)
Uhm, let's find something nasty. Here it is, Gortat had 21 points with 16 rebounds versus "league's best center" Bynum 17+14.

Blogger kazam92 said...
"A 3.1 GPA is like an Asian F"

But I imagine being a full time college ball player while having a major that isn't complete BS (Sports Management) is the reason

Anonymous KazeK said...
Considering DRose, I guess the "humble" aspect is more relative to others. But then again, I find it really hard to get through one of DRose's interviews.

And yeah, it's always nice to hear an athlete get through all of college with a substantial major while still trying to pursue sports.

And I guess while we're on the JLin note, I love Linsanity, but hopefully it dies down now after last night's game so that he can just play now. Back when he was on the Warriors he couldn't even take the whole Asian community from going ballistic and it showed in his game. Once he practices those ball-handling mistakes we could see something more consistently awesome.

Blogger Sophie said...

Even Greg Oden's injuries have injuries

Blogger Bing said...
"Chink in the armour" - ESPN

Bastards have been milking the Lin story for website hits and tv show ratings. And then pop out with that racist shit? SMDH

Anonymous Mladen said...
I just cannot believe/understand how stupid they are. They ran the same shitty title during the Beijing Olympics (as documented on Basketbawful), and then quickly replaced it with something normal, and now they did it again?!? Do they have like a catalog of racist headlines, that they are obliged to use every time there's an Asian player/team/country involved?

P.S.: I'm not really sensitive to this kind of stuff, and I usually say: "Fuck political correctness!", but if I was Asian, I'd be rightfully pissed off.

Anonymous sixtyeight said...
you know, I was reading "the human stain" by roth when I decided to take a break from that compelling work of fiction to check the mail and read some basketball news. And ESPN had just come up with that racist shit and for a moment made me wonder if they were just fucking with my head, mixing reality and fiction in some twisted way. Are you kidding me?

Blogger Wormboy said...
JR Smith as a Knick? I'm skeptical. The Knicks now have three major guys with character issues: Melo, Smith and Baron Davis. I'm curious to see whether they can actually get chemistry on court. They will certainly struggle for a while, so maybe the resulting losses will shut up the Lin fanboys.

@Bing: I shouldn't laugh, but LOL. Damn you!

Anonymous JJ said...
WOW! Anyone watched Mavs-Knicks game? That was intense like playoffs. Even with Dirk on fire, Knicks still got a comeback win thanks to some hot 3-point shooting and of course a good dose of Linsanity. Whether you think Lin is good or not, you have to respect the way he never backs off and keeps coming at you. And this was Dallas double teaming him pretty much the whole game. I've never followed Knicks in my life, but thank you Jeremy for making Knicks game entertaining.

Anonymous David said...
The Bobcats starters combined for a +/- of a whooping -162 against the Pacers. I'm not a Bobcats fan, but I don't know whether I should laugh or cry at how bawful they are.

Anonymous Silvio said...
Darko played 0.1 seconds at Sunday. Is it some kind of nullilion or what?

Some boxscores even have him as DNP, but correctly has 21 zeros in their 15 columns.

00:00.1 Rubio Substitution replaced by Johnson
00:00.1 Ridnour Substitution replaced by Milicic
End of 4th Quarter

Anonymous popop143 said...
Have seen that Yahoo! Sports doesn't know why the Wolves doesn't play Darko...

Blogger mikeyb said...
Went to the Pistons/Celtics game in Detroit earlier... now I know the Celtics were without KG and Brandon Bass but wow did they put up a stinker. They were down by 20 at one point and just generally looked turrible. Bawful highlight of the night was during the 3rd quarter when Rondo got a double technical and ejected for what? I'm still not sure, he must have threatened to sodomoize the ref's grandma or something. Pistons have now won 7 of 9 and the Celts have dropped 3 in a row. WTF is going on lol

Anonymous KazeK said...
Regarding the racist headlines and such, have you seen the Amasian headline and then that Knicks Good Fortune slogan with Lin's head over a fortune cookie?

I think the SNL cold open on JLin was pretty good considering this, people are so ready to call out political correctness but only until a social group comes out in media prominence.