(Thanks again to guest author Raza for stepping up in the clutch, in other words, not being John Starks.)

"Dear Lord, thank you for letting me continue being one of the most overpaid players in the league.  And especially for those Luke Walton photos from our summer getaway."  

New Jersey Nyets:  Have a 29-11 free throw advantage at home? Check  

Manage a 13 point lead? Check  

Allow one of the least efficient volume shooters in the league (Brandon Jennings) who barely cracks shooting 40% from the floor go for 34 points on while shooting 52% on the floor thus losing the game?  More Checks

Well, what can I tell you folks, the Bucks were on a back to back, no Stephen Jackson (their most clutch player), no Bogut (their best big man), no Mbah Moute (their best perimeter defender) and no Shaun Livingston (their best waterboy).  To make matters worse they let the world's most repackaged and re-gifted player in the league (Drew Gooden, on his 9th team in 9 years) go off for 23 points on 11-19 shooting.

I guess to entice Dwight Howard the Nets wanna say "Hey, we got Deron Williams and a top 5 pick in the draft!"

New Orleans Hornets:  Yikes! Losing to a team that shot 0-12 from the 3 point land and only had 3 players hit double figures (highest of which was just 15) is bad enough.  But when I tell you that the team they lost to was the infamous Charlotte Bobcats.....well then, you can see why Eric Gordon has given up on the season with injuries so he can write his own version of Weezer's "Pinkerton" instead of spending another minute in uniform for the woe are we Hornets.  

If Lamar Odom is reported to be so depressed about playing for Dallas, what would he have done had he been traded to New Orleans?  Wait, don't tell me, cause I would hate to see Khloe and Lamar get canceled for good.

New York Bricks:  Well folks, I don't even know where to begin.  It felt like only yesterday the Knicks were on a 7 game win streak and D'Antoni was saved from the bread line at Trinity's.

And then this guy happened:

No, wait, had Carmelo been doing that for 48 minutes a game the Knicks probably would have continued winning and Lin would have been the face of the next 10 Disney films.   Melo shot 34% from the floor, which was worse than virtually every single one of his teammates that took at least 2 shots from the floor.  To maker matters worse, Lin continues to struggle a bit, Amare looks bored, and the Knicks have become.......well the Knicks we've known for years.

"(I try to) be an energy guy," Jimmy Butler of Chicago said. "It's easy to do when you see Taj. He played extremely well for us tonight. When you see the expression in his face and (Noah's) face, that rubs off on me. The energy, it comes from everybody."

Not sure if he was talking about the facial expressions during the game, or just in the locker-room showers afterwards.  I'm assuming it's the latter.
I get that losing to Chicago is nothing to frown about (even though they were without Deng) but this team is in such disarray that rumors have been reported about the team trying to offload Melo, Amare (non-insured contract, good luck with that!), and perhaps even Chandler (though it would probably take a Howard type player to make that happen).  But, at least the signing of JR Smith was a good idea right?  Especially when you have to deal with him doing this before and after games.

It makes you almost long for the days when Isiah Thomas was in charge.  At least those Knicks were just bad from the start.

Wizards Generals:  Speaking of teams who were just bad from the start, after coming back from a 21 point deficit against the Lakers, theWizards Generals came out and showed us exactly who we thought they were.

Playing what looked like some of the worst defense any team has played all year, they allowed the Spurs to race out to an 18 point lead before halftime.  And then it only got worse from there.
I mean, JaVale McGee missed not one but two dunks, and judging by his top 8 plays of all time, that could be the norm:

Somebody sign him up the 'Bawful HOF.

LA Clippers:  Well, maybe the battle for mediocrity in LA isn't as wide of a gap as I thought with the way the Clipps have been playing lately.  They have now lost 6 out of their last 9, and went from Lob City to Flop City.

They shot 37% from the field, at home no less, and just 21% from the 3 point land, in an ugly loss to the Celtics.

"I can't stand to lose. It's not acceptable," Paul said. "We talked about it after the game, that everybody has got to do their part. We're going to watch film and figure it out. There ain't no moral victories around here. I've been in this league too long. You've got to win, or you lose."

So what have the Clippers learned during this bad stretch?  That if you don't win then.....basically you lose.

I can see why you're a top 3 PG in this league Mr. Paul!

Nationally Televised Games:
Heat at Magic:  
Both teams 2nd match up in as little as 6 days, and quite possibly Howard's last matchup with the Heat in a Magic uniform ever

All The Other Games:
Craptors at Cleveland:
  Gotta love the Eastern conference, where you can go on a 6 game slide in one week, win 3 in a row the next, and find yourself just half a game out of the 8th playoff spot.  Judging by the matchup for the Cavs, something tells me that win streak will continue.

Blazers at Pacers: The Pacers try to avoid their second five-game losing streak in the last month Tuesday night when they host the Trail Blazers, who hope to win back-to-back games for the first time in seven weeks.  It's gonna be a long night folks.

Houston at OKC:  Kinda sad when you already have the next day's 'Bawful post with the heading "Houston Rockets" before this game is even played.  Still waiting to hear back from Kevin McHale about that mining trip to find the Rockets' mojo!

Lakers at Grizzlies:  The Grizz are just half a game back for the 3rd spot in the West, and judging by how the Lakers have looked on the road lately (7-14 on the road, back to back losses to the Pistons and Wizards Generals) I wish to congratulate the Grizz in advance.

Wizards Generals at Mavs:

Dirk:  You see Doc, we've been really struggling lately, I don't know if I'm going through a championship hangover, or if we're just clearing space to get Howard/Williams on board so this season is a wash for us.  Either way losing sucks.

Doctor:  Losing you say eh?  *whisks through filing cabinet for remedies*

*pulls out the game preview against the Generals*

I got just the thing!

Hawks at Nuggets:  Josh Smith has repeated his request to be traded, meanwhile the Hawks keep remembering that they're the Hawks (losers of 6 out of their last 11).  Don't expect Smith to change his mind after this one.

Warriors at Queens:  I don't even know if these guys care about this game.

Chris's Lacktion Report:
Bucks-Nyets: Larry Sanders showed two fouls in 28 seconds for a +2 and 
a Mario.

Knicks-Bulls: Josh Harrellson negated a board in 9:02 with a brick and 
two fouls for a 2:1 Voskuhl, and JR Smith bricked once in 9:15 plus 
lost the rock twice and fouled once for a +4.

Meanwhile, Brian Scalabrine mooed in just 90 seconds with a brick, 
foul, and turnover for a +3.

Generals-Spurs: In 95 seconds, Washington's Kevin Seraphin and San 
Antonio's James Anderson became opposite-team investment experts with 
1.6 trillions!!!

Celtics-Clippers: Sasha Pavlovic produced a new copy of Deadly Towers 
in just 55 seconds for a Mario, and Keyon Dooling lucked out with a 
fortune of 4.2 trillion (251 seconds).

Lob City's Eric Bledsoe fouled thricely and lost the rock once for a +4 
in 210 seconds.

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Anonymous Jabari said...
Decidedly Not-Bawful:

Suns/Wolves. 127-124, not even in overtime!

Fun, fast-paced, entertaining game all around.

(PS: Free Steve Nash!)

Blogger mikeyb said...
Here is some 'Bawful for readers who haven't had anything to satisfy them in a while:

Like Father Like Son?

Glen Rice Jr. kicked off Georgia Tech basketball team following accidental shooting @ Hotlanta night club: http://espn.go.com/mens-college-basketball/story/_/id/7680883/georgia-tech-yellow-jackets-glen-rice-jr-kicked-team-shooting

The title of the article speaks for itself:

"Stephon Marbury denies hitting fans after playoff loss"

Read more: http://aol.sportingnews.com/nba/story/2012-03-13/marbury-denies-hitting-fans-after-playoff-loss

Anonymous Anonymous said...
raza..you the man..thanks for keeping this site alive...

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Great write-up, Raza!
In other news, Trade Season 2012 has kicked off! Udoh got sent to the Bucks, and in honour of his now teammate Luc Richard Mbah a Moute (aka Labia Mud Charm Toucher), I fired up the ol' anagram solver.
Defamed Dike Euphory is the best I could do.

Anonymous Czernobog said...
I'm inclined to give the Bricks a bit of a by because Amar'e's (Is that right? Jesus) head clearly isn't in the game, and I can't blame him.

'Melo is a cancer and an overrated player. We all knew that when they signed him.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Good job filling in, Raza.

Just watched this YouTube video of my man SVG...


the top comment had me in tears - "its like seeing yoda drop his cane and bounce all over the place´╗┐ with a light saber "

Anonymous Raza said...
Thanks for the feedback guys, I also wanted to give props to Chris for his lacktation report and for posting the entry to the site. Appreciate it bud!

As for the Suns/T-wolves game Jabari, you were totally right. I was trying to right about it, but it was actually such a great game to watch that it was difficult to make fun of.

mikeyb - Sad what happened to Stephon Marbury eh? He's had the career of a poor man's Iverson with the downfall and everything. Being a Spurs fan, he used to give me nightmares during that first round 2003 series.

Couple of things:

Did you guys hear that Melo has requested a trade according to the NY Post? I can't see anyone taking on that type of deal until perhaps the summer. What's his value even like right now?

In regards to the Bucks/Warriors trade, I think that's one of those few trades that should work out really nicely for both teams. The Bucks desperately lacked a scoring punch, and the Warriors have pretty awful defense, but if Bogut can stay healthy, he should really really help in that department.

Anonymous David said...
A few notes on the Warriors - Bucks trade from a Warrior POV:

Ellis is a selfish ballhog who scores way too inconsistently and has very limited defensive capabilities. A Curry - Ellis tandem just wasn't ever going to work out properly and one of them had to go. I'm 100& sure our front office made the right decision in keeping Curry. Ellis can be mezmerizing on his day, but the keyword regarding him is consistency. Or more specifically his lack of it.

Udoh will never amount to a Bogut, but he could become a solid player for the Bucks. His stats really haven't been that impressive with us though, even when he's starting.

Kwame Brown? lol.

Bogut may sit out the rest of the season, but if (A pretty big IF) he returns healthy next year we will have one of the strongest frontcourt pairings in the league in him and Lee.

Jax is the X factor in this deal for us. If (Another big if) he can be motivated to start and perform he would be a huge upgrade over Dorell in the starting lineup. But on the other hand I wouldn't be surprised if he gets bought out or sent elsewhere.

This trade also means we won't be doing anything in the free agent market in the summer which I'm fine with actually. Resigning Curry the year after is of greater importance. The Jazz will also be keeping a closer look on us for the rest of the season as they are in possession of our lottery protected first round pick.

In the event of Jax deciding he'll play for us and resigning, Bogut returning next season, Thompson starting at 2 guard and us keeping our first round pick we would have this starting lineup:

PG: Curry
SG: Thompson
SF: Jax
PF: Lee
C: Bogut
6th: Dorell/Rush/First round selection

And that ladies and gents is a playoff team.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
So what was that about Houston leading Worst of the Night?

And Melo ia actually underrated the way the media and bloggers like you all talk about him. Lin is not absolved of all blame with his TOs and D you know...

Blogger Wormboy said...
@Czernobog: "Is that right? Jesus" Yessir, that's right! You have experienced the rare double apostrophe!

Yeah, I saw that Simmons tried to defend Melo and say that he'll be great and lead the Knicks to glory. Ahem. No, not any time soon. The guy is an astonishing one-on-one scorer who has little experience running in a well executing offense. Frankly, he destroyed George Karl's offense for years, and was simultaneously a horrible defensive liability. What in his history argues that he will make the Knicks better, especially with an offense centered on a fast-breaking PG?

You know what sucks about this? Jeremy Lin could be a really good PG, and to some degree extend Amar''''e's (HA!) effective career, but not with Melo on the floor. Furthermore, Melo has got to realize that Lin is the guy who (inadvertantly) pulled aside the curtain to show that the Wizard of Oz is really a tubby old man. Or, in this case, a prolific iso volume scorer who can't cut and can't play D. So how does Lin get treated in that locker room?

In other words, the Knicks need to trade Carmelanoma ASAP. Dolan will call Isaiah Thomas, Isaiah will tell him to give Melo a contract extension, and Melo will finish his career in NYC. Read 'em and weep, Knicks fans. The biggest bawful since Isaiah was fired!

Free Jeremy Lin!

Blogger chris said...
Raza - Thanks!

I have nothing to say. If a "tanking" Warriors team can go out and thwack the Purple Paupers like they did...

it's even more miraculous that Sacramento has a new arena slated after all. Just...yeah.

Give it up for the flukes of life!

Anonymous JJ said...
Raza, thanks for the post.

That picture reminds me, whatever happened to Richard Jefferson? He was never an All-Star, but he was a solid player in Nets for years. But, now he hardly puts up role player numbers. And yet, he gets plenty of minutes. And Spurs who are famous for being smart with their signings give him an extension?? I know they saved a few bucks per year, but they have to keep him longer. The whole situation is just very odd to me.

Regarding Knicks, I'd love to see how the rest of the team would gel if they were to trade Melo. But, we all know that's not happening. If Knicks management was smart enough to trade Melo, they wouldn't have signed him in the first place.

Anonymous Raza said...
I just realized that the 3 teams I laid it thick on, The Rockets, the Lakers, and the Raptors, all won their respective games last night.

Good thing I didn't take those bets to Vegas!

Also Chris, if I do future posts, should I continue to email Dan or email you?

To anonymous - There is zero chance you can call Melo underrated. Looking at how much Denver has improved since he left, and how quickly he's destroyed the current state of the Knicks, it's going to be difficult to defend him right now.

Lastly, did anyone notice that the NBA store had dwight howard nets t-shirts for sale? They took it down now, but here are screenshots from when it was live for a few hours yesterday:


What a leak!

Blogger chris said...
Raza - Email both me and Dan - Dan has my email address so he can probably give that to you pretty easily.

All your hard work is much appreciated by us here btw. :D

Anonymous Raza said...
Don't even mention it Chris, just glad you guys are letting me post as often as you do!

JJ: In regards to the Spurs resigning Richard Jefferson, they were gonna have to pay a lot in luxury tax dollars last season but encouraging him to opt out and sign a longer deal was supposed to save them more money in the long run.

Hopefully that made sense, as they basically restructured his contract and spread out the dollars a lot more, though in hindsight I wish Peter Holt just took the luxury hit and the Spurs could've had a ton of cap space to play with this past summer instead of having to wait to amnesty him and use this summer to pick up a solid bigman in free agency.

As for his minutes, it is baffling that Pop gives him so much time, considering he does zilch out there, and even his 3 point shooting has dipped a lot. Kawhi Leonard seems to be a great drafting choice so hopefully he can overtake RJ in the starting spot. The sooner SA gets rid of him, the better.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Great googly-moogly, good times in New York. Woj reports that Mike _'Antoni has resigned. And Sloan might be interested in coaching in NY. I wonder how long Sloan would last there, if he had to take shit from 'Melo, not D-Will

Blogger Factfinder said...
Carmelo Anthony = Stephon Marbury 2.0?

Anonymous JJ said...
I guess D'Antoni decided to go out on his own terms since it was obvious the team wasn't going to extend his contract or get rid of Melo. Linsanity and good times seem like ages ago. Sucks for Knicks fans, but for Lin, he's probably better off signing somewhere else in the off season.

Fact Finder - I agree, except I think Marbury at least put up better numbers for himself.

Blogger Michael Hsu said...
You can't say Carmelo destroyed the Knicks they were already destroyed.

Anonymous Stockton said...
Well, one NY problem is gone... now, it's just get rid of Melo...
I read simmons's article, and all I have to say is that if Carmyellow's defense is as pathetic as Simmons's defense of Carmelo.

Blogger Fishy said...
Just throwing in my thank you to Raza

Anonymous Anonymous said...
It's a shame all of this trade deadline and D'Antoni business has eclipsed the news of The Mad Ants' coup: signing Stephen Graham..

Blogger Wormboy said...
Huh. I rant that the Knicks need to trade The 'Noma, and we find that old melo probably forced 'Antoni out of town. Do we now call him Cartense? Cuz I'm not seeing much Melo there.