Is anyone actually surprised by Larry Brown getting the hell out of Charlotte? I look forward to Michael Jordan doing what Bawful reader JJ suggested and becoming an owner/coach. The comedy would be endless!
Since the sun rose in the east this morning, that means we have yet another example of Ron Artest doing what Ron Artest does best. Here is a post from Trey Kirby at The Basketball Jones where Ron Artest tells us what stats Jesus Christ put up when he played in the NBA. Unfortunately, these numbers do not match up with those The Onion gives us. All I know is that this story made me immediately fire up Youtube to rewatch this video.
Via The Other Chris, check out this insane high school dunk contest.
And some brief footbawful: oh for the love of God, they want to make a movie about the Madden Curse. So, is whomever they put on the poster doomed to break his ankle filming a scene for the movie? (h/t chris)
Worst of the Night in Pictures:
Nationally Televised Games:
Bulls at
All The Other Games:
Cavaliers at Hawks, 7pm: I know they don't have LeBron and all, but damn, when did Cleveland become something resembling an unholy Eastern Conference version of the Purple Paupers or Clippers? Something needs to light a fire under their asses. You know, other than their river.
Pistons at Craptors, 7pm: Well, at least a couple people will be enjoying this game. Per The Other Chris: "Bawful field trip tonight: Craptors vs. Pissed-Ons. I'm taking a friend with whom I have a bet about which team will have a worse record this year. Much drinking and yelling will ensue. 'Tis the season to be jolly!"
76ers at Celtics, 7:30pm: I still can't get over the fact that the Sixers have quietly been amazingly mediocre lately. I mean, 6-4 in their past 10 games? That's playing like a #4 seed in the Leastern Conference! (Good to know there's no way they can keep this up. Right? Right...?)
Thunder at Knicks, 7:30pm: Nice to see the schedule balancing out for New York. After a stretch of games softer than Charles Barkley's fat rolls, they're now getting their share of tough games, and the results haven't been pretty.
Nyets at Hornets, 8pm: Let's be honest, folks. Does anyone really see the Nyets landing Carmelo Anthony? How much longer do we have to entertain this storyline?
Jazz at Timberwolves, 8pm: Look out. This is the first time Al Jefferson will be facing his former team. I mean, you already don't want to lose to the Timberpups anyway just because that's humiliating, but especially when you've got some history with them.
Nuggets at Spurs, 8:30pm: Sad news: Carmelo won't be playing tonight due to a death in the family.
Rockets at Clippers, 10:30pm: What astronomical odds! Both of these teams are riding three game winning streaks! The only thing I expected them to be riding was an express train to the NBA draft lottery.
Labels: Bawful After Dark, Charlotte Bobcats, Larry Brown
After last night's absolutely unbelievable display of bawfulness, tonight feels like it should be a letdown night. But don't worry -- just look at the schedule! Terrible basketball will happen tonight, folks.
Just for the record, I already hate the Pacers since they essentially are the reason Louisville doesn't have a professional basketball team anymore. But also I'm going up against Chris in the Bawful Fantasy League this week, and he had two Pacers on his team. So yeah, I'm pretty much screwed this week. I know nobody cares about anybody else's fantasy team, but Chris demanded I mention this, so there you go.
Here's some news on Brandon Roy's gimpy knees, which apparently are getting worse and worse. The Frail Blazers legacy continues, sadly. Are we sure Brandon Roy isn't Greg Oden's long lost son?
SI's Jimmy Traina did a nice interview with Shaq (since, you know, it's not like Shaq has anything better to do right now). Among other things, we find out that one of his favorite movies is Don't Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood and one of his favorite TV shows is In Living Color. Okay, so that's pretty cool. Respect to anyone who likes stuff from back when the Wayans Brothers were actually funny. Speaking of In Living Color, want to see Isiah Thomas and Patrick Ewing show up in a skit? Watch this.
Worst of the Night in Pictures:
Nationally Televised Games:
Jazz at Magic, ESPN, 7pm: Just a stab in the dark here, but I don't think Paul Millsap is going to go into Beast Mode again tonight.
Clippers at Spurs, ESPN, 9:30pm: Another case of the Clippers being on national television for reasons I cannot begin to comprehend.
All The Other Games:
Bucks at Hawks, 7pm: So much for the 6 game winning streak to start the year. The Hawks are now 6-2, but chin up! The only fearing of deer that will be done this season is fearing they might jump in front of your car while driving at night. (You don't want to know about my story about that...)
Rockets at
Bobcraps at Craptors, 7pm: THIS is the game we are annointing "BawulFest." Ughhhhh. I'm just going to let Homer Simpson do the talking for me on this one: "I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!"
Also, to finish quoting Silvio's epic rant, "Things like that makes me mad. I mean, there's so much teams that have potential to mimic Nyets 10-72 season (if not "better" it with single digits win), but they're not allowed to fulfill their potential. Why? Because those crappy crap teams play each other night after night after night. Look at Cavs - 3 games winning streak as schedule gave them Sixers, Generals and Nyets. And tonight they get ... Nyets again. Not fair. Not fair that one team is going to get W. Clippers. After Spurs tonight, Clippers host Pissed-Ond and Nyets, travel to Timberpoops and Pacers, then play Knicks at home. They're bound to take some win(s) out of that soft schedule. Yes, even them. There should be some rule like: if both teams play bawful game - neither gets win. Or, winner gets only 1/2 of win. Or something, this way NBA administration is denying those crappy teams their right to have single digits wins season."
Nyets at Cavaliers, 7:30pm: Because, hey, if you didn't get your fill of bad basketball between these two teams last night, you get to do it all over again tonight! The NBA: Where Groundhog Day Without Bill Murray's Charm Happens.
Warriors at Knicks, 7:30pm: OMG this is David Lee's first game in New York since being traded!! Too bad nobody really cares.
76ers at Thunder, 8pm: Hey everyone, remember when the Thunder were good? What happened? Lucky for them the Seventy Suxorz are in town!
Mavericks at Grizzlies, 8pm: Okay, yes, the Mavs lost to the Grizzlies a couple weeks ago. But Dirk cut his hair! There's no way they can lose now!
Timberwolves at Kings, 10pm: Continuing our Darko Watch, he is averaging 4.4 ppg on 28% shooting this year, hitting only 53.8% of his free throws. He's averaging 1.1 assists to 2.13 turnovers and only 5 boards (even though he's 7'0").
Labels: Bawful After Dark, Brandon Roy, Charlotte Bobcats, In Living Color, Shaq, Toronto Raptors
The Charlotte Bobcats: Let's open this baby up with a quote from Bobcats majority owner and NBA legend Michael Jordan:
And while the Bobcats' cap issues gave them no chance at the LeBron James-led free-agent class this summer, he insists the Bobcats, led by Gerald Wallace and Stephen Jackson, are better than last season's 44-38 team that was swept by Orlando in the first round.
"I think we're going to be a better off team than we were last year," Jordan said. "We're together, we're coming off some success from last year. Granted, Raymond's not here. But when you think about, Tyson came off the bench.
"At the minimum, we should make the playoffs."
I bet MJ would like to take a mulligan on that one right about now.
Good news for the Bobcats: They didn't wait until they were down 15-20 points before starting to play last night! The bad news: It didn't matter. They lost anyway...falling to 1-6 on the season.
The 'Cats shot like they were playing with KFC buckets on their heads -- 39 percent as a team -- with a very special (in the short bus way) thanks to Stephen Jackson (4-for-13), D.J. Augustin (3-for-15, 1-for-7 on threes) and Gerald Wallace (2-for-11).
Still, the real stake in Charlotte's shriveling heart was the failure to put any hands in the general viscinity of rookie Gary Neal's face. Neal went gonzo from beyond the arc, drilling 5 treys.
That said, the Bobcats had their chances. They were down 93-91 with 26.8 seconds left but chose defense over the intentional foul. Unfortunately, they let Manu Ginobili swoop in for a game-breaking layup with 4.9 seconds to go.
Said Bat-Manu: "The goal was to eat all the clock possible, but at the same time you don't want to take a really bad shot. It was a miscommunication between Boris [Diaw] and [Tyrus] Thomas and one left. I had a pretty good look."
As someone who has followed the careers of both Diaw and Thomas, all I can do is nod emphatically at the "miscommunication" part.
Anyway, said Charlotte coach Larry Brown: "D.J., Jack and Gerald going 9 of 39, I don't care who you're playing and you're going to have a tough time. To be in the game with us shooting it that way and turning it over again, like we do, it's a miracle we had a chance."
Chalk one up in the "Near Miracle Victory" column, Larry.
Stephen Jackson, turnover machine: S-Jax had 6 of Charlotte's 14 turnovers. But "shame" -- like most other words -- is not in his vocabulary: "Some nights I may have six turnovers, some nights I may have none." Wow. He's like a fortune cookie. Scatch that. A misfortune cookie.
The Atlanta Hawks: I hope the Dirty Birds enjoyed that 6-0 start and all those "Don't forget about the Hawks!" stories that were so popular for a week or so. You'd think people would have wised up to Atlanta's act by now. They usually pound lousy teams during soft stretches, maybe win a close game or two against a legit opponents. But in the final analysis, they are -- at best -- a second tier team.
To wit: After opening the season with six straight wins over "meh" teams, they've now lost two in a row against decent ones. Go figure.
I'll give the Hawks this much, though. They made the Magic work for it. Atlanta held Orlando to 43 percent shooting -- including 4-for-22 on threes -- and won the rebounding battle 48-43. But the Magic go a big night out of Pumaman (27 points, 11 rebounds) and...Vince Carter? Yes, Vince Carter, who finished with 19 points on 8-for-12 shooting and scored 5 crucial points in the final 1:12.
That's right: The Hawks were out-clutched by Vince Carter.
And you know how Vag, er, Vince did it? Two layups, the second of which was an "And 1!" after which he actually roared and flexed to the crowd, Hulk Hogan style.
Said Carter: "It never gets old. Believe me."
Yeah. Unless you're the Hawks.
Hawks coach Larry Drew, quote machine: "As I told our guys, 'Let's not look at this loss as a moral victory.' We've always felt in our hearts all along that we were capable of playing against any team."
Playing against any team? Yes. Winning against any team? Eh, not so much.
Bonus stat: The Hawks gave up 22 points off 17 turnovers...and lost by 4. Just sayin'.
The Toronto Raptors: How does a team like the Golden State Warriors win on the road despite giving up 22 fast break points and a whopping 32 points off 21 turnovers?
By playing the Craptors, of course. Now 1-6!
Stephen Curry, playing on a semi-bum ankle, scored a season-high 34 points on 12-for-21 shooting (including 2-for-4 on threes and 8-for-8 at the line). Moped Ellis added 28 points on 10-for-17 shooting before a bad fall waylaid him in the fourth quarter. The Warriors -- now 5-2! -- also got a double-double out of David Lee (14 points, 12 rebounds) in addition to shooting 52 percnt as a team and winning the rebounding battle 42-32.
Credit the Dinos for coming back from 20 points down to make a game of this one. But that's like sticking your genitals in a grizzly's mouth and then hoping to yank them out before they become bear kibble.
Said Linas Kleiza: "We just make the game hard on ourselves."
Actually, you can probably blame the front office for that, Linas. I'm pretty sure they're the ones responsible for sending you to war with a starting lineup of you, Reggie Evans, Andrea Bargnani, Jarrett Jack and DeMar DeRozan. Admittedly, that group would make a terrific second unit on a real basketball team.
The Boston Celtics: Back-to-back road games in Oklahoma City and Dallas would be a tall order for any team. Still, the Celtics handed the Thunder a choice cut of ass on Monday night and looked ready to dispatch the Mavs last night after Paul Pierce knocked down a 17-footer to give Boston an 87-82 lead with 1:58 left.
BUT...the C's went scoreless over the final two-ish minutes while the Mavs netted seven points off a layup by Dirk Nowitzki, a triple by Jason Terry and what turned out to be the game-winning 16-footer by Nowitzki with 17.4 ticks on the clock.
Know who Dirk was shooting over? Big Baby. Who's, what, half a foot shorter?
Said Nowitzki: "I knew Kidd was going to find me and then Davis was there. I was able to face him up and knock the shot down."
Oh, but it gets better. Boston's final possession consisted of a three-pointer by Rajon Rondo with 3.8 seconds left and then (after a Terry foul) a desperation triple attempt by Kevin Garnett as time expired.
Really, Celtics? Threes by Rondo and Garnett? Those're the best shots you could get?
Doc Rivers -- who called that sequence "a terrible play" -- said: "I hope I can draw up a better play than that."
Ya think?
Jermaine O'Neal: We call him "The Drain" for a reason. O'Neal played only 11 minutes -- including zero in the second half -- because of a sore left knee that left him with "no explosion." Oh, and Jermaine benched himself for the final two quarters, figuring the Celtics would be better off with him on the bench.
Which might be the case. But if you're wondering by Big Baby was defending Dirk on the game-winner, this is why. Boy, it sure is a good thing the Celtics went out and got two injury-prone O'Neals last summer. Eight games into the season and they're both out already.
Dirk Nowitzki's new haircut: Well, Dirk cut his flowing locks. Now he's gone from looking like a WNBA player to looking like...Sloth from The Goonies?! That's what Dan Marino -- not the football player, but a Basketbawful fan from Belgium -- thinks.
The Phoenix Suns: Their two oldest players -- Steve Nash (16 points, 6-for-11, 11 assists) and Grant Hill (19 points, 12 rebounds -- were their best players. Robin Lopez went 1-for-4 and pulled down only 2 rebounds in 14 minutes. Hedo Turkoglu is starting. Channing Frye -- who got a $30 million contract from the Suns this summer -- went 1-for-7 off the bench.
Anybody else see any problems here?
And how about this: Zach Randolph returned from the dead to scored 23 points and gobble up 20 rebounds...including an absurd 8 offensive boards.
Oh, and then there were the turnovers: 23 of 'em, for 31 points going the other way. Hill and Nash combined for 9 TOs.
It's amazing the Suns didn't lose by 20.
Said Phoenix coach Alvin Gentry: "That's [23] chances we don't get to shoot the basketball. If we are managing our turnovers, and we've got 10 or 12 turnovers, that's 10 more possessions that we can shoot it at the basket. Make five of them, and it's a different story. We've just got to do a better job in that department."
The Denver Nuggets: The Nuggets wasted some good defense (holdin the Bulls to 41 percent shooting) and a season-best 32-point from Carmelo Anthony by giving the Bulls 24 bonus points off 18 turnovers. They also kept shooting directly into their defenders hands, as Chicago had 12 blocked shots, including 9 combined from Taj Gibson (5) and Joakim Noah (4).
Also, anybody else notice the Nuggets are starting Shelden Williams? Eek.
As an aside, Gibson's sweet game -- 16 points (7-for-12), 6 boards, 5 blocks, 3 assists and a steal -- reminded me of some of the crap I got after dubbing him a potential All-Star in my Central Division preview. In fact, here's what AnacondaHL had to say:
Haha, I just noticed something from this post (emphasis mine):Well, check it, peeps: Six games into his second season, Taj is averaging 15.2 PPG, 6.2 RPG, 1.7 APG and 1.7 BPG while shooting a redonkulous 63 percent from the field. That puts him at 4th in the league in FGP. His Offensive Rating is 115 and his Player Efficiency Rating is 19.1, which, according to John Hollinger's reference guide, is pretty close to borderline All-Star territory.
"a couple of possible future All-Stars (Joakim Noah and Taj Gibson),"
Wait, what? Since when is someone projected to be the next Dan Gadzuric a possible future All-Star?
As always, I'm just sayin'.
(Of course, when Boozer returns from his broken hand, Gibson will head back to the bench, his numbers will fall, and blah blah blah.)
Erik Spoelstra, quote machine: This is a belated entry submitted by Basketbawful reader clair. Regarding their game against the Nyets, Spoelstra said: "[Saturday] was about a nameless, faceless opponent. We needed to really come back and establish our toughness, our disposition defensively and the guys really took that to heart and I was glad that they were having fun out there."
As clair put it: "Nameless AND faceless. Ouch!"
Chris's brief lacktion report: Alonzo Gee grabbed a Legend of Zelda cartridge in just 3 seconds for a Super Mario! For Charlotte, Sherron Collins heaved a brick from Tryon Street in 3:33 for a +1 suck differential.
Labels: Atlanta Hawks, Boston Celtics, Charlotte Bobcats, Denver Nuggets, Toronto Raptors, Worst of the Night
The Atlanta Hawks
Holy crappity crap, the Hawks are screwed. Seriously, they are so screwed.
Think about it. The Hawks were a middle of the road defensive team (14th in Defensive Efficiency at 104.0) that somehow managed to be one of the Association's better offensive squads (3rd in Offensive Efficiency at 108.9) despite the fact that most of their sets revolved around isolating Joe Johnson or getting Jamal Crawford open for a jump shot. It helped that the rest of the Hawks selflessly crashed the boards and the team as a whole managed to avoid turning the ball over. Oh, and Atlanta didn't suffer any major injuries.
With all the aforementioned serendipity, the Dirty Birds managed 53 wins, which, in the Leastern Conference, was good enough for the third seed. But in the playoffs, they barely avoided first round elimination against the Bucks before getting absolutely obliterated by the Magic. Allow me to share the scores from that four-game sweep: 114-74, 112-98, 105-75, 98-84. Swept by an average of 24.5 PPG.
Ouchies.
Even at their absolute best with nobody getting hurt and everything going right, the 2009-10 Hawks were nowhere near good enough to compete for a title. Or even a respectable series against a contender.
So what's different about the 2010-11 Hawks? Uhm, they fired coach Mike Woodson and hired Larry Drew to be their new head coach; they signed Joe Johnson to a six-year, $123.7 million deal, otherwise known as "The absolute worst contract handed out during the summer in which Darko 'Manna from Heaven' Milicic got $20 million"; drafted a couple bums; signed Josh Powell to a one-year deal at the vet's minimum; traded Josh Childress to the Suns for a second-round pick; signed Etan Thomas to a one-year deal at the vet's minimum.
In essence, the Hawks didn't get any better while at the same time destroying all future cap flexibility by giving Johnson what will probably be remembered as the most horrific contract of this decade. There's no way the Hawks will win 50 games again -- let's face it, Crawford won't have another career year, Johnson is only going to get worse and the rest of the team just isn't that good -- but they'll probably win 40-45, make the playoffs, and get sent home early and cruelly. Just like last season.
Sorry, Hawks fans.
The Charlotte Bobcats
Over the past several days, there's been a lot of chatter on the Interwebs about whether Michael Jordan could score 100 points in today's game. But here's a better, more relavant question:
Can Jordan's team, the Charlotte Bobcats, score 100 points in today's game?
Last season, the 'Cats ranked 28th in PPG (95.3), 26th in Pace Factor (90.4 possessions per 48 minutes) and 24th in Offensive Efficiency (101.5). Of course, they ranked first in Opponent's PPG (93.8) and Defensive Efficiency (100.2), which just goes to show you that this is a typical Larry Brown team: Slow it down, grind it out, churn out regular season wins, make the playoffs, get eliminated early.
And that's pretty much what happened last season. Brown coaxed 44 wins out of squad with more gaping holes than Anal Bimbos 27: Buttier Than Ever. Against all reason, Larry goaded his team to the franchise's first ever playoff appearance...during which they were mashed to an oozing pulp by the Orlando Magic. Still, it was yet another example of how Brown squeezes every last drop of talent out of his team. Before he quits on them and moves onto the next team, that is.
Still, the Bobcats are a deeply flawed bunch. And in case you're wondering how those flaws were "addressed," I'm about to tell you. Jordan let Raymond Felton walk; pulled Shaun Livingston out of his NBA grave; signed Tirade Thomas to a five-year, $40 million mistake; flipped Tyson Chandler and Alexis Ajinca for Matt Carroll, Eduardo Najera and Erick Dampier's dumpable deal (this wasn't even a salary saver, btw, as the 'Cats merely broke even on the deal, essentially giving Chandler away for nada); signed Dominic McGuire (defense yes, offense no); and signed Kwame Brown, leading to to several days worth of "What the f*** is up with MJ and Kwame Brown?!"
So basically, Charlotte didn't improve at all. Hell, they might have gotten a little worse.
Look, I understand the whole "Defense Wins Championships" concept, and to a large extent, I agree. That said, NBA teams are still expected to score more points than their opponents. Can you see this squad doing that against the top tier teams? Or even the middle tier teams on a consistent basis. Brown can probably cattle prod another 35-40 wins out of this group of castoffs, assuming 1) he maintains his intensity and committment to the team and 2) the players keep drinking his Kool-Aid.
Still, I don't know how the 'Cats are going to get by without a real, honest-to-goodness point guard. Last season, Felton did a decent enough job masquerading as a PG in order to earn a contract. But Livingston of the Living Dead is not an answer to anything other than "What is one of the saddest stories in NBA history?"
The Miami Heat
I'm not going to go on and on about this team. I mean, we're all a little sick of hearing and reading about them already, right?
Here's as brief a summary as I can manage: They're going to be awesome. For the most part, Pat Riley surrounded the Nazgul with enough talent to contend despite cap limitations (something many people thought he couldn't do). Miami is strong on the perimeter but f***ed at center. They won't win 70 games this season, but they're a lock for 60+ wins and a deep playoff run. Not sure they're going to get by Boston or Orlando (or the Lakes if they make it to the Finals) this season, but the Heat are going to win a title some time in the next few years. Just accept that and move on.
The Orlando Magic
The Magic are one of those trick-or-treat "contenders." They're really, really good -- last season they ranked 2nd in both Offensive Efficiency (109.5) and Defensive Efficiency (102.2) -- and yet not quite good enough, you know? I mean, look at their three best players. Unless Hakeem Olajuwon worked some serious voodoo this summer, Dwight Howard's offensive game still isn't polished enough to prevent him from getting shut down by big, talented frontcourts (such as the ones he'll face in Boston and L.A.). Vince Carter is a superstar against lesser teams who's guaranteed to disappear or quit in the playoffs. Ditto for Rashard Lewis, only with 20% more disappearing.
Who's going to step up and lead this team when it really counts? J.J. Redick?
Look, Quentin Richardson gives them more three-point shooting and Chris Duhon will be decent as a backup point guard, but the team lost toughness when Matt Barnes walked and their best three players don't have the skills or mental fortitude necessary to beat out the Celtics, Heat (maybe) or Lakers. And frankly, I only see Carter and Lewis declining, while I'm not sure Howard hasn't maxed out as a basketball player (again, unless The Dream has actually physically possessed him).
Orlando is going to win 55-60 games and flame out in the playoffs. Again. Years from now, we're going to look back on their five-game loss to the Lakers in the NBA Finals and realize that was this team's apex.
The Washington Wizards
Washington messed up, okay? The Wizards settled on a core of Gilbert Arenas, Antawn Jamison and Caron Butler. They gave those guys big contracts and tried to build around them. And that was a real boner.
Still, the Wiz have been trying to fix the problem. Jamison and Butler are now in different zip codes, and Arenas will be gone about 0.1 seconds after some idiot team agrees to take on his cap-gobbling contract. Which, unfortunately for Washington fans, will probably be never.
Oh well. Two out of three ain't bad.
On the bright side, the Wizards got crazy lucky, winning the NBA draft lottery and selecting future superstar John Wall with the number one overall pick. Apparently, that good fortune was too much for Washington's batshit front office to accept, so they tried to negate that dumb luck by trading for Kirk Hinrich.
Don't get me wrong. Captain Kirk is a solid backup PG who provides solid defense, can play three positions and will be an excellent veteran mentor for Wall. But as ESPN's John Hollinger pointed out, based on the workings of this particular deal, the Wizards basically paid $3 million to take on Hinrich's contract, which will cost them $17 million over the next two seasons.
I guess they just love bad contracts in Washington.
Other offseason moves included: Trading for Chairman Yi, letting a trio of vets (Mike Miller, Randy Foye, James Singleton) depart for greener pastures, signing Hilton Armstrong (yawn), signing Josh Howard (whatever) and giving Andray "Shoot It If Ya Got It" Blatch a three-year, $28 million extension.
That's it. That's the state of Washington's rebuilding effort thus far. Sweet Jesus. I haven't seen something this poorly thought out since KISS Meets The Phantom of the Park:
I'm not sure how this ragtag bunch of shothappy bums and fools is going to win more than 25-30 games. Drafting Wall and adding a savvy vet like Hinrich will help, but this team is a flat-out mess. The Wizards are still several years -- at minimum -- from returning to anything remotely resembling respectability. And the artist formerly known as Agent Zero has become a depressing slob with a crummy beard.
Another season of Washing Generals jokes anyone?
Labels: Atlanta Hawks, Charlotte Bobcats, Miami Heat, NBA season preview, Orlando Magic, Washington Wizards
The Charlotte Bobcats: Everybody who wondered why I've been so dismissive of the Bobcats as a first round dark horse...
...this is why.
Dwight Howard -- who re-nicknamed himself Foul-On-You -- was limited to 23 minutes and fouled out yet again. What's more, the Magic shot only 41 percent, bricked 12 free throws and scored only 16 points in the paint. It didn't matter. Over the second half of the season, I kept flatly stating that you really don't have to worry about a team whose number two guy is Stephen "I'm made for the playoffs and championships. That's what I play for. I'm Big Shot Jack." Jackson.
Sure enough, Big Shot Jack laid an rotten egg (2-for-11 and a game-worst 4 turnovers) and the Bobcats became the only team to get swept out of the playoffs. As always, I'm just sayin'.
Stan Van Gundy, quote machine: On Pumaman's constant foul trouble: "If you would have told me that he would have averaged well under 30 minutes for the series and we would sweep, I would have said you're crazy. I think it's a testament to our other guys." That's right. Credit for Orlando's first round sweep of the Bobcats officially goes to "Everybody not named Dwight Howard."
So, yeah, maybe I was wrong about that Dwight for MVP thing...
The agony of Michael Jordan: I know what you're thinking, MJ, but the answer is: No. NBA teams do not have a 90-day return policy.
Dwight Howard, quote machine: "We're going to be well rested. I'm going to be well rested." Ooooooh, I get it! All those stupid fouls -- 22 in four games, limiting you to about 26 minutes per game -- was strategy. It was all about staying rested. Look out, second round of the playoffs!
Larry Brown, rumor machine: Earlier this season Brown -- who is an NBA coaching gypsy -- was rumored to be considering a job with the Clippers. The latest rumor is that he might bolt for Philadelphia, where his wife and kids live. Brown always seems confused about why these rumors follow him. Well, that's what happens when you're a job jumper, Larry.
Said Brown: "I'm not coaching anywhere but Charlotte. Now am I going to go home and talk to my wife and kids? I'll be 70 years old with two young kids. Am I going to talk to them and find out what I need to do and am I going to talk to Michael? Yeah, absolutely."
See how he's giving himself some wiggle room? Classic Larry Brown.
The Atlanta Hawks: Everybody who wondered why I've been so dismissive of the Hawks as a championship contender...
...this is why.
Everybody got so excited about their season sweep of the Boston Celtics. Well, the Celtics were up and down all year, and the Hawks remain an inconsistent team that sucks on the road. I mean, Atlanta is easily more talented than the Andrew Bogut-less Bucks, right? And yet the series is now 2-2. What sense does that make?
Milwaukee scored 111 points on 55 percent shooting. The Bucks outscored the Hawks 44-26 in the paint despite not having a single inside scoring threat right now. The Atlanteans couldn't stay in front of or keep from hacking John Salmons (10-for-10 from the line), nor could they get a hand in the face of Brandon Jennings (23 points, 9-for-16) or Carlos Delfino (22 points, 6-for-8 from downtown).
Defensive fail. Toughness fail. Everything fail.
Said Joe Johnson: "It's very frustrating, man. We just don't have the toughness. They are getting all the loose balls, all the big rebounds. We can't get stops when we need to and it's killing us."
This is standard operating procedure for the Dirty Birds. Over their past three postseasons, the Hawks are 1-10 on the road, while averaging 80.8 PPG (on 38 percent shooting) and giving up 100.6 PPG (on 48 percent shooting). That's right. They average a 20-point blowout on the road in the playoffs. A sure sign of championship non-contender-ness.
Seriously, what is up with their crappy road play?
Said Jamal Crawford: "I wish I knew. I wish I could figure it out. We're two totally different teams. I think it's been like that in the past for this team. We play well at home, we feed off the crowd, but you can't play every game at home. We have to figure this out. That's what winners do, that's what champions do."
The Portland Trail Blazers: The Suns now lead this series 3-2, with all three wins being blowouts. The latest was a 107-88 pounding in which Phoenix scored 20 points off 15 Portland turnovers, won the rebounding battle (41-29, including 15-9 on the offensive boards), had a 17-6 edge in fast break points and outscored the Frail Blazers 40-28 in the paint.
Of course, you expect Amar''''''e Stoudemire (19 points, 7-for-11) and Steve Nash (14 points, 9-for-9 from the line, 10 assists) to do damage. What you might not expect is a combined 39 points from Channing Frye and Jared Dudley. The dynamic duo shot 13-for-21 from the field and 8-for-14 from downtown. Thanks to their explosion, the Suns bench outscored the starters 55-52.
Crazy, huh?
Said Nash: "When they get going like that, we're a really good team. I think it's great for their confidence because we have a lot of confidence in them."
As for the Frail Blazers, well, they got caught trying to play Seven Seconds or Less basketball. It worked early on, as Portland started out 7-for-7 and built a 23-9 lead. But going away from you do best while playing to the other team's strength is a dangerous thing...as the Blazers found out.
Said LaMarcus Aldridge: "Even when we were winning, we were playing their game. We were taking quick shots. They were going in so we felt good about it. But it really wasn't our style of play and I think the law of averages caught up. We don't really play that style of play. We should have slowed it down and played more of a halfcourt game."
Brandon Roy: His Game 5 line: 19 minutes, 5 points, 4 fouls, 1 turnover, no assists, 2-for-7 shooting.
Roy blames coming off the bench: "It's hard to get involved. I don't think the guys are quite used to me coming off the bench. It's hard for me to kind of get my touches and get into a rhythm."
Yeah. I'm sure that's it.
Update! Joey Crawford: David Stern won't let me talk about the officiating, so this entry is free of comment, except for thanking the anonymous commenter who posted the link to this video.
Channing Frye, quote machine: "To be honest, if I go 0 for 10, I could care less. It's not going to happen twice. That's how I feel every time I go out there, that it's only going to take one shot for me to get hot."
Steve Nash, quote machine: "They were making everything so it made it feel like we were running uphill, but I just felt like we had to think of this thing as long-term and think of it as the stock market. We're not day traders, we want to be very conservative and long-term in our investment in transition. You've got to stick with it from the start to finish."
J.R. Smith: Yet another reason the Nuggets probably won't make it out of the first round. After all, their X-Factor is also an X-Factor for the other team. For instance:
According to The Denver Post, Nuggets guard J.R. Smith posted a message on his Twitter page Sunday night that read, "You play selfish you lose selfish that's all I'm saying about the game!"Crazy Kobe fans: This video speaks for itself. And speaks. And speaks. And speaks. Thanks to the anonymous commenter who posted the link.
When asked about Smith's tweet, Nuggets interim head coach Adrian Dantley appeared uncomfortable. "What do you want me to say? That he shouldn't have made that comment? I don't know. He shouldn't have made that comment."
Nuggets team leader Chauncey Billups has this to say, "It's frustrating to lose, and people can say what they want, but at any rate, when we win, we win together. ... I don't think we've been specifically selfish."
Smith didn't speak with the media Monday, but did respond to the controversy on his Twitter page and wrote, "yo i got the twitter goons on my back!"
Lacktion report: chris came through with a surprising amount of lacktion for only three games. Good to see playoff lacktion going strong.
Magic-Bobcats: Closing out this lackluster playoff series with celebration, Ryan Anderson pulled 4.3 (4:19) trillion out of a hat.
For Charlotte, Derrick Brown and Stephen Graham each cued up Fred Savage and Jenny Lewis, with Famicom wizardry: Derrick drilling for just one second at the free throw lane for a SUPER MARIO and Graham crumbling at the sight of a goomba in 55 seconds for a regular Mario! Theo Ratliff's postseason expired with a 5:2 Voskuhl in 7:55 via two boards countered by two bricks and five fouls - three Voskuhls in the four-game series!
Hawks-Bucks: As Atlanta's road woes continue, their traveling lair of lacktion continued to produce - Zaza Pachulia negated a field goal and two boards in 18:54 with four fouls and a turnover for a 5:4 Voskuhl. THE Mario West now has enough money for Virtual Boy repairs with a 1.35 trillion (1:22) and Jeff Teague lived up to his teammate's reputation by tossing a Koopa shell in just 5 seconds for a Super Mario!!!!
Meanwhile, Charlie Bell rang up 50 seconds worth of playing time on the Wii for a Mario that also garnered a +2 suck differential via foul and brick from the Third Ward.
Frail Blazers-Suns: Juwan Howard's crutches needed readjustment, with one made field goal in 8:37 avoiding a fully lacktive evening, only to counter those points with five fouls and a giveaway for a 6:2 Voskuhl.
Earl Clark crunched into the ledger with a two-turnover +2 in 5:39.
Labels: Atlanta Hawks, Charlotte Bobcats, Dwight Howard, Michael Jordan, Portland Trail Blazers
Thanks to Basketbawful reader Brian for today's top pic.
The Charlotte Bobcats: The Bobcats just love giving things away! Their 21 turnovers were key in this loss -- yes, I'm looking at you, Stephen Jackson -- as was Orlando's 35-18 advantage in free throw attempts.
It was a weird game in that the Magic didn't play all that well, the 'Cats just played worse. Gerald Wallace fought his way to the line for 10 foul shots, but he went only 3-for-7 from the field. Boris Diaw finished with 5 points and 5 turnovers. Theo Ratliff, the team's SINO at center, finished with zero points (0-for-3) and a rebound in 13 minutes. Ray Felton had a single-single (4 points, 4 assists) while shooting 2-for-6. And then there was Captain Jack, who scored a game-high 27 points but had 12 combined turnovers (7) and fouls (5).
Not exactly the production Larry Brown wanted from his starting lineup.
Actually, what Brown wanted was a few more whistles going his team's way. Said Larry: "We had three players that played tonight that got to the foul line, and one of them took one shot, one free throw. Can't play that way. Maybe we've got to get more respect, I don't know."
Brown wasn't the only Bobcat representative who was upset with the officiating. Frankly, a lot of the Charlotte players were getting frustrated, none moreso than Jackson, who missed a layup near the end of the game and decided to stay behind to bitch at the ref instead of participating in his team's transition defense. The result: A three-point play for Jameer Nelson that pretty much sealed Orlando's win.
But S-Jax felt justified: "I knew my headband didn't get knocked off by itself."
Now the Bobcats -- who have been whispered about as a possible dark horse for the last couple months -- are down 0-2, which means history is against them. According to ESPN Stats and Information: "In NBA playoffs history, teams with a 2-0 lead in a best-of-7 series are 209-14 (93.7 percent)."
Stat curse? We'll see.
Freaky puppets: Nightmare fuel. Or maybe it's just me.
The Dallas Mavericks: If Mark Cuban hated the Spurs before, how do you s'pose he feels this morning? Is he sitting in his secret volcano lair trying to figure out how to put Tim Duncan in an easily escapable situation involving an overly elaborate and exotic death?
I'd like to think so.
So what does this game tell us? That the Spurs are still dangerous, or that the Mavs aren't as dangerous as we thought?
It's hard to say.
In the NBA playoffs, it's tempting to overreact to a single game. When a team gets blown out or loses home court advantage, people start shoveling dirt on their grave. I'm sure a lot of folks will feel like Dallas has lost control of this series after their Game 2 crapfest...and maybe they have. But we should probably wait and see if they can steal one back in San Antonio before we start writing the obituary.
Speaking of obits, I wrote one for the Spurs back in, like, December. Yet here they are, still alive and kicking playoff ass. The Mavericks choked like it was 2006 all over again. (Or 2007. Or whenever.) Dallas shot 36 percent as a team, and there were plenty of culprits: Ericka Dampier (0-for-1), Jason Kidd (1-for-7), Shawn Marion (2-for-7), Caron Butler (6-for-17) and Dirk Nowitzki (9-for-24). Even their one hot player -- Jason Terry -- was only 9-for-19.
You can kind of forgive guys like Kidd (who never was a great shooter) and Marion (who can't create his own shots), but what was up with Dirk? The dude looked like a seven-foot wet noodle. There were some shots where I thought he was having a seizure. It was like he was trying to use body English to guide the ball in. Heck, he couldn't even shoot over Manu Ginobili. Gak.
Of course, the Mavs came back from 20 down in the third quarter and then from 13 down in the fourth, but even when their offense clicked for a stretch here or there, they couldn't ge stops. It was classic Spurs basketball: Guys moving, sharing the ball, making the extra pass. And of course, a steady diet of Tim Duncan (25 points, 11-for-19, 17 rebounds). Turns out TD has something left in the tank after all.
The Spurs also got a pretty strong game out of Richard Jefferson (19 points, 7-for-12, 7 rebounds). Jefferson was actually 7-for-9 by halftime, and I'm pretty sure Rick Carlisle didn't game plan for an out-of-nowhere offensive explosion from Richard Jefferson. Why would he?
The Mavericks also gave up 16 offensive rebounds, which was crippling considering the Spurs shto nearly 50 percent. Let's face it, Dallas got outworked, outsmarted and outplayed by the kind of Spurs team people predicted San Antonio would be going into the season.
Let's see if they can keep it up.
Gregg Popovich, quote machine: Regarding Cuban's "I hate the Spurs claims, Pop said: "It's an exaggeration. If he hates us so much, he wouldn't have that good barbecue in the locker room after the game."
Of course, this was after he bitched about Dirk's many trips to the line in Game 1: "He can sell it better than anybody in the league," Popovich said before the game. "Some guys are really good at it and some guys just can't do it. It's not coached or anything like that. Of course, Dirk was with Nellie [coach Don Nelson]."
In related news, Nowitzki earned only 6 free throws in Game 2, down from 12 in Game 1. But I'm sure, as always, it's all just one big crazy random happenstance.
Oh, and Popovich also said his team played "like dogs" in Game 1. Dan B. forwarde me this great tweeted response to that comment: "Gregg Popovich believes the Spurs played like dogs in their Game 1 loss to the Mavs. Hardly - dogs can hold on to a ball."
LeBron James, quote machine: Regarding his almost-one-man show against the Bulls the other night: "I feel like my presence on the court as an individual automatically gets my teammates involved."
Charles Gaines Vs Du Feng: This video has already been making the rounds, so I almost didn't post it. But with all the Street Figher II and Mortal Kombat discusions/references we make here at Basketbawful, I felt like I was doing our readers a disservice. By the way, go here for a great picture of Du Feng -- who pretended to faint after Gaines bitch-slapped him -- getting carried out like a dead body being carted away from a crime scene.
Lacktion report: chris's irrational love of non-actioneers continues in today's lactivity update:
Bobcats-Magic: Theo Ratliff had a board and a steal in 12:34 as Charlotte's starting center...only to brick thricely, lose the rock once, and foul three times for a 4:1 Voskuhl!
Despite a 100% shooting percentage (on one shot attempt), Derrick Brown donned a fireflower in 53 seconds for a Mario.
Spurs-Mavs: Roger Mason was jarred by a forgettable 5:43 for Gregg Popovich - a foul and a brick from the Statler Hilton led to a +2 suck differential. Garrett Temple had 55 seconds to consult Dr. Mario for help in solving a Virtual Boy-induced headache.
Labels: bitch slaps, Charles Gaines, Charlotte Bobcats, Dallas Mavericks, Du Feng, Lebron James, NBA playoffs, Worst of the Night
Very short on time today. Apologies for the briefness of this post. But at least I have a valid excuse. There is, however, no excuse for this jersey foul.
The past 24 hours have been great for NBA people swearing on live national television. Behold:
(The best part of Frank's foul language escapades this morning? It gives us an excuse to have the Charles Barkley clip in two consecutive posts. It gets funnier each time I watch it, so this has to be a good thing.)
Worst of the Night in Pictures:
All The Games:
Bobcats at Magic - TNT, 7:00pm
Magic lead series 1-0
Dwight Howard and Vince Carter were both up in the middle of the night before Game 1 of this series. They were calling and texting each other, overanxious for the start of the playoffs. Vag Carter says no more late-night chats before games. He laughed and said "I try to sleep some times." During games, obviously.
Spurs at Mavericks - TNT, 9:30pm
Mavericks lead series 1-0
I picked up a milk carton and saw Richard Jefferson, George Hill, Keith Bogans, and Roger Mason's game all on the "Missing" section. (How did they fit all of that on there?) If found, please alert Gregg Popovich. Thanks.
Labels: Bawful After Dark, Charlotte Bobcats, Dallas Mavericks, Orlando Magic, San Antonio Spurs
The Chicago Bulls: This second season's leading candidate for Schrodinger's playoff team status pretty much lived up, er, died up (??) to expectations by face-planting into a 22-point hole against the highly (and very correctly) favored Craboliers. Despite being one of the best rebounding teams in the Association, Chicago was outrebounded 50-38 and gave up 13 offensive boards. They were also outscored 42-26 in the paint.
LeBron (4 blocks), Shaq (12 points, 5 rebounds, 4 assists, 3 blocks), Antawn Jamison (15 points, 10 rebounds, 3 blocks) and Andy Varejao (8 points, 15 rebounds, 2 steals and a block) controlled the colored rectangle...and the Bulls eventually learned to fear the rim. As Basketbawful reader beep said: "It makes me puke when I see an empty lane and a Chicago player stopping to take a jump shot he misses, and even if he made it, it would be awful play ... my eyes were bleeding. :facepalm:"
Of course, even if the Crabs hadn't been returning every package to sender, that's sort of the Bulls' game plan. Long, contested two-point shots are their bread and butter. No wonder Luol Deng always has a sad face.
By the way, yeah, I know Chicago cut a huge deficit to only seven points late in the fourth. I have to say "whatever" to that, because Cleveland went to sleep. The Crabs did whatever they wanted whenever they wanted to do it. So don't let the Bulls' mini-comeback fool you.
Joakim Noah: Nobody wants to get YouTubed by a 38-year-old man who's glacial movements currently have to be tracked via calendar. And almost falling on your own face during the schooling? Eek.
Said The Big Geritol: "That's the patented move I've been doing for years. That's the 'Diesel Truck with No Brakes.' When I get into that mood people get out of the way because they know I'm in the cab and I don't have any brakes."
Replied Noah: "I kind of knew he was going to do it at first, so I tried to take it away. Then he waited and waited until a good time." Aaaaaaaaand...
Joakim Noah, unintentionally dirty quote machine: "He just knows how to use that 350 pounds."
Brad Miller, unintentionally dirty quote machine: Miller -- who ended up with a bloody face courtesy of Shaq's favorite elbow -- said: "He's still Shaq, but I tell all these guys all the time, you should have seen what he was like a few years ago. Every possession underneath, it was bang, bang."
The Milwaukee Bucks: The sad thing is, Bucks-Hawks could have been a great series before something that should never happen to a human arm happened to Andrew Bogut's arm. Amar''''''e Stoudemire's little push transformed the Bucks from a playoff dark horse to a Schrodinger's playoff team...unless John Salmons (6-for-18) has a little Michael Jordan in him. Exactly.
The Hawks went up by as many as 20 in the first quarter and led 62-40 at the half before forgetting you have to successfully complete 16 full games before winning the NBA championship. Atlanta's collective nappy time combined with some hot shooting by Brandon Jennings (34 points, 15-for-24, 4-for-6 from downtown) allowed the Bucks to rally, but their kinda-sorta comeback is as deceiving as the one the Bulls almost pulled off against the Crabs. Some teams fight their way back into a game, and some teams are let back in.
Said Mike Bibby: "When you get ahead by so much, you kind of get lackadaisical." Nobody knows this better than a former Sacramento King.
As for Jennings, his splits tell me the Bucks probably shouldn't expect him to keep shooting the ball as well as he did in Game 1. But Jennings sounds determined to go down firing: "Not having Andrew Bogut, I have to go back to playing the way I was at the beginning of the season. I have to be more aggressive if we're going to have any chance to win."
The Miami Heat: For 29 minutes, it looked like the Heat were going to win Game 1 of their first round series against The Paper Champions. Miami was shooting 53 percent and leading by 14 points when Boston's defensive demons woke from their season-long slumber. Over the final nine minutes of the game, the Heat shot 19 percent from the field (6-for-31) -- including 1-for-10 from downtown -- and got outscored by 23 points. During Miami's 10-point fourth quarter, Heat players started to look flat out scared when passes sailed their way. "No, no, I'm telling you, he's open!" It was a shooting apocalypse, but it could have been worse. One of their players could have had a meltdown like...
Kevin Garnett: Quick quiz: Is Kevin Garnett a dirty player? Quick answer:
Aaaaaaaaand: Suspsended for Game 2.
Classic superdickery. Especially with the way he flounced away from the scrum after swinging the elbow. Way to go, KG. Now I can understand why Benny the Bull sniped you with a t-shirt gun. A person is what he does repeatedly, and you can only swing so many elbows and have so many run-ins with the Jose Calderons of the world before people realize you're, well, you know.
Anyway, let the excuses begin:
"I saw Paul grab his shoulder, as a stinger or whatever, so I just tried to immediately call [Celtics trainer] Ed [Lacerte] over," Garnett explained after the game. "I tried to give him some room and I just saw [Quentin Richardson] standing over him talking nonsense. I asked [Richardson] to give him some room and, before you knew it, mayhem started. That situation, man, I know these two [Richardson and Pierce] have competed against each other in the past and have history from bumping heads a little bit. I was just trying to give him the common courtesy for an injured player, that's all. Nothing more, nothing less.Here's some additional outside perspective on the whole situation from Joakim Noah:
"I have no beef with Q, I know him personally. I thought what he did was a bit disrespectful, standing over a guy hurt, you know, and talking nonsense. Before you knew it, it all just broke out. I gotta use my head, but all I saw was Paul hurt and that's all I cared about at that time."
Asked for a response to Richardson's comments , Garnett wouldn't bite.
"No thoughts at all," said Garnett. "Classless -- a classless act on his part. I'm moving on with it. I'm not going to go back and forth commenting through [the media]. End this."
Garnett said he apologized to his teammates after Saturday's game.
"I apologized because, like [coach] Doc [Rivers] said, sometimes even when you're right you're wrong," said Garnett. "A situation like that was totally classless, you know, but you keep it moving. It's nothing to keep going back and forth with."
"I'm going to say it: He's a dirty player," Noah said after he and his Chicago teammates practiced at Quicken Loans Arena in preparation for Monday's Game 2 against the Cavaliers. "He's always swinging elbows, man. I'm hurting right now because of an elbow he threw. It's unbelievable. He's a dirty player. It's one thing to be competitive and compete and all that.A Miami win in Game 2 feels almost predestined now. I mean, this is just a fitting way for this particular Celtics' season to begin its end.
"But don't be a dirty player, man. He's a dirty player."
Noah's opinion was that Garnett intended to strike Richardson.
"He knows what he's doing," Noah said. "It's messed up. It's wrong. It's not right. I shouldn't even be talking about this stuff. It's crazy."
Paul Pierce: Okay, so, supposedly he had a pinch nerve, and, in all fairness, Quentin Richardson should have stayed the hell away from him. But even as a die-hard Celtics fan, I couldn't help but wonder why Pierce had to go down again. I'm not necessarily calling him a faker, but the dude takes an awful lot of dives. Even Ric Flair -- who was the best faller-downer in pro wrestling history -- facepalms when The Half-Truth goes down.
Evil Ted and I had a small debate over this, and my point was: On September 25, 2000, Pierce once got stabbed 11 times in the face, neck, and back and had a bottle smashed over his head...after which he had to lung surgery. Ya know how many games Paul missed that season? None. Pierce is tougher than that. He needs to stop flopping around when he gets hurt, because he's basically inviting incidents like this to happen.
Big Baby: Please stop.
Quentin Richardson, quote machine: "I was trying to get over there to take the ball out of bounds and he started to talk to me so I talked back. I don't have any business talking to him (Pierce), he was on the ground crying. I don’t know what was going on, two actresses over there that's what they are. ... Sometimes (Pierce) falls like he’s about to be out for the season and then he gets right up. That's all I said."
The Utah Jazz: In most cases, the playoffs are when teams start to really focus on defense. After all, that's what wins championships, right? In fact, I'm pretty sure at some point this weekend I heard Hubie Brown (or somebody) say there weren't any bad defensive teams in the playoffs.
The Jazz and Nuggets beg to differ.
Utah scored 113 points on 54 percent shooting while the Nuggets hit 57 percent of their field goals en route to 126 points. Carmelo Anthony scored a career playoff-high 42 points and J.R. Smith went off for 18 points in the fourth quarter, during which Denver outscored Utah 38-27.
Many faces went handless on this night. Even if Carlos Boozer believes otherwise.
Regarding 'Melo's multiple money shots in his team's collective mug, Boozer said: "He just took that game over. He hit shots with hands in his face. It seemed like he barely dribbled the ball, had a one-dribble pull-up or just caught it, faced up and shot it. That's where we miss A.K.'s length."
Speaking of which, I loved this quote from the AP recap: "Anthony was on a mission and C.J. Miles and Wesley Matthews were powerless to stop him." If Jerry Sloan's game plan is to use Miles and Matthews against 'Melo, then I hope he has a nice, big plasma TV and a comfy chair to sit in while watching the second round of the playoffs.
In all honesty, though, we all know Anthony's going to get his, right? The real key was Utah's failure to contain Smith down the stretch. That dude can (and will) shoot the Nuggets into games, and he can (and will) shoot them out of games. Just you wait.
By the way, what's up with the Jazz trainers giving Mehmet Okur a painkilling shot in his injured Achilles' tendon? You know...the one he tore during Game 1? Check it:
Okur had been bothered by Achilles' tendinitis in his left leg since April 7 and missed a game but he fought through it and received a painkilling shot before Game 1.Not good.
Jazz general manager Kevin O'Connor said he didn't believe that injection had anything to do with Okur tearing the tendon.
"We would never have put a player in a compromising position if there was any indication that the shot would have masked anything or done anything like that," O'Connor said. "We would have never done that. We'd never put a game ahead of a player's health. ... That's not in our DNA."
O'Connor said Okur's injection "was certainly his call."
"Is it related? I'm sure in same way, shape or form, everyone's going to put it on the fact that it is, but (team doctors) didn't feel there was any additional risk in doing that," O'Connor said.
Okur flew back to Salt Lake City without addressing reporters or his teammates.
The Oklahoma City Thunder: What can I say? They played like a young team in their first-ever postseason game together. All the Lakers really did was out-execute them. Although the Thunder weren't exactly helped out by...
Kevin Durant: I don't know if it was Phil Jackson's mind games or the merry-go-round of defensive looks the Lakers used against him (sometimes Artest, sometimes Kobe, etc.), but KD looked positively Larry Hughes-like in his playoff debut. The Durantula shot 7-for-24 -- including 1-for-8 from beyond the arc -- and committed a game-high 4 turnovers. He was obviously frustrated. Seriously, at times he looked like he was guessing his way through some horrific story problem ("If my jump shot left Oklahoma City by train at 1 p.m. on Saturday and headed toward L.A. at 150 mph, will it ever arrive...") By crunch time, Durant had pretty much decided to force up his shots no matter what, like he couldn't believe how badly he was shooting (or, rather, being forced to shoot by an aggressive defense).
In all fairness to Durant, he wasn't alone. As a team, the Thunder did way too much freelancing against L.A.'s defensive pressure. Guys set their sights on the rim and stopped looking for open teammates. They're sure not going to beat the Lakers that way.
Still, the Thunder did cut the lead to 79-72 with about three and a half minutes left, so maybe all that's necessary is a few tweaks here and there.
Said Durant: "We could've came here and got a 'W.' We just couldn't get over the hump." Hump game!
The Charlotte Bobcats: Despite falling behind by 22 points, the 'Cats made a game out of it...but only because they managed to rough up Dwight Howard. That roughhousing led to frustration, and the next thing you know, Pumaman was in foul trouble. Hack-a-Howard kinda worked.
Said Magic coach Stan Van Gundy: "Their big guys are going to hit him every chance they get. And if he gets one foul retaliating, they've done their job. He can't get any of those. He's just going to have to understand no matter how many times they hit him, he can't hit back. We need him on the floor."
Howard still made the difference on defense by swatting an almost-record-setting 9 shots. Which reminds me...
The 1996-97 Los Angeles Lakers: If you check out the AP recap, you'll see a list of the most blocks in a game in the last 20 postseasons. On that list, you'll see names like Howard, Tim Duncan, Alonzo Mourning, Hakeem Olajuwon and...Greg Ostertag?! Oh yes, my friends, 'Tag once had 9 blocked shots in a playoff game. Against the Lakers. For shame, L.A.
Dwight Howard, quote machine: Another reason the Bobcats loss was their inability to contain Jameer Nelson, who scored 24 of his game-high 32 points in the first half. About which Howard said: "I was just happy to have my little crib midget back."
Speaking of Pumaman, an anonymous reader left the following comment this weekend:
McHale, just gathered that you considered Howard to be the MVP over LeChosenOne on Truehoop. I get that he isn't a favorite over here at Bawful, but surely you can't really argue with his combination of team and individual success, right? While I understand (and dislike) the constant media-orgy over LeBron, I thought that his season this year was one of the most impressive I have seen in my 21 years. Am I wrong?First off, I'm not saying that Howard is the better player. Nor am I denying that 'Bron pulled off one of the great statistical seasons in league history.
But here's my full explanation for my MVP considerations, which were cut in the final draft of the TrueHoop post:
Dwight Howard is as dominant defensively as LeBron is offensively. Moreover, Howard can dominate without dominating the ball. He takes only 10 shots per game, and you'll notice that his Usage Rate is almost 10 percentage points lower than LeBron's. Yet Howard is the league's best defensive player and the foundation of his team's offense. And his team happens to have the second-best record in the league.In many ways, this is a Wilt-versus-Russell type of debate. 'Bron has the better numbers, and his team seems helpless without him, although I wager some of that is because of poor coaching and the fact that, when he's in the game, the ball is grafted to his hands. I like Dwight's all-around impact, even if I hate his poor free throw shooting and lack of post moves.
Speaking of which, the Magic rate better than the Cavaliers in several advanced metrics, including Pythagorean Wins, SRS, Offensive Rating, Defensive Rating, Effective Field Goal Percentage, Free Throws Per Field Goal Attempt, Defensive eFG%, Defensive Rebounding Rate, and Opponent Free Throws Per Field Goal Attempt. King James might have one of the great Player Efficiency Ratings of all time, but several significant advanced stats indicate that Howard's team is better. I think these things are worth considering.
Vince Carter: It's the playoffs and you know what that means: It's time for Vag Carter to disappear. His Game 1 line: 4-for-19, 0-for-5 from three-point range, 3 rebounds, an assist and 6 fouls.
The San Antonio Spurs: The Spurs shot 50 percent and got strong games out of Tim While Duncan (27 points, 8 rebounds), Manu Ginobili (26 points) and Tony Parker (18 points, 4 assists)...but the rest of the team scored 23 points on 10-for-26 shooting. What's more, San Antonio gave up 13 offensive rebounds -- 5 to Ericka Dampier, who's quietly fighting for a new contract -- and surrendered 20 points off 17 turnovers.
Said Duncan: "We didn't play focused enough. We just weren't there all night."
Gregg Popovich even resorted to a Hack-a-Dampier strategy that backfired when Ericka went 4-for-6 after three straight intentional fouls.
Said Pop: "We hoped he would miss free throws rather than Dirk killing us the way he was."
Good thinkin'.
The Phoenix Suns: Classic Suns. Favored. At home. Facing an opponent that just lost their best player. Unfortunately for Phoenix fans, the only guy ready to step up to the playoff challenge was Steve Nash (25 points, 10-for-18, 9 assists). Nobody else was ready to step up, even as the Frail Blazers were bonking free throws and missing dunks. Credit Portland. The Blazers slowed things down and put the defensive clamps on -- Phoenix shot 41 percent for the game -- but the Suns missed an awful lot of open shots. Especially in the final minutes.
On that subject, I leave you with AnacondaHL's despair:
I don't wanna talk about it.As for the Blazers...holy shit. They are officially the NBA equivalent of a movie serial killer, right up there with Michael Meyers, Jason Voorhees, Freddy Krueger and whoever else you wanna name. As Basketbawful reader Sun Devil put it: "Is it possible that the Blazers are the greatest Wounded Tiger team of all time? Even if they get bounced quick from the Suns, they've had a helluva season. All their injuries have set off a perpetual motion of wounded tiger proportions!"
Don't even wanna talk about it.
Phoenix 1-7 from 3 in the last 1:21.
Jamie Foxx, to JT: "I love Phoenix, there's just too many vegetarians"
Amar''''''e Stoudemire: Somebody needs to remind STAT that he hasn't signed his big free agent contract just yet. I know 18 points and 8 rebounds might now sound that bad, but it was. Trust me, it was. Amar''''''e went 8-for-19 from the field and committed a co-team-high 4 turnovers. But his failings were most evident during crunch time.
With 2:40 left and the Sun trailing 92-89, Stoudemire used one of his patented post moves to turn the ball over via an offensive foul. On the other wend, Jerryd Bayless missed a jumper, but Amar''''''e didn't block out his man, LeMarcus Aldridge, who skied over him for the tip-in. The teams then exchanged three-pointers after which Stoudemire had the ball stolen from him by Marcus Camby. Nine seconds later, Amar''''''e fouled out.
If possible, I would like this stretch posted on YouTube as a tribute to why STAT shouldn't get max player money this summer, even though he probably will.
San Jose Sharks: I was already considering including this moment of Hockyawful in this post, and this comment from an anonymous reader cemented my decision: "This is hockey related, but I figured you guys could use a laugh. The San Jose Sharks just gave Colorado a 1-0 win in OT when a Sharks player scored on his own team." Oy.
Weekend lacktion report: Some would say that the playoffs are no time for lacktion, but chris continues to prove otherwise:
Bulls-Crabs: Janeero Pargo bricked once in 2:33 to earn a +1 suck differential, while in 40 seconds, we had FOUR Mario Brothers: Chicago's James Johnson, and the crustacean trio of Daniel Gibson (who managed a board in that time), JJ Hickson, AND Jawad Williams!
Bucks-Hawks: For Milwaukee, Dan Gadzuric made himself a 6.25 trillion (6:15), while Atlanta sent out the sanitation crew for garbage time - Joe Smith who lost the rock once and took a rejection for a +2 in 5:21 (that also earned a 1:0 Madsen-level Voskuhl), Jeff Teague with a one-foul +1 in 6:13, and THE Mario West with a one-foul +1 in 1:12!
Heat-Celtics: Joel Anthony negated two steals and a block in 11:12 with a brick, rejection and two fouls for a 2:0 Voskuhl! For the C's, tiny Nate Robinson had a diminutive stint on the Virtual Boy - a mere 6 seconds for a Super Mario!
Jazz-Nuggets: Joey Graham heaved up one brick from the Granite Tower for a +1 in 1:45 - the same duration and suck differential that Malik Allen earned (along with a 1:0 Madsen-level Voskuhl) after a foul!
Thunder-Lakers: In one of the most atrocious postseason performances seen in ages, James Harden racked up a sizable suck differential: a FULL +8 of fail after fouling four times, bricking thricely from the Library Tower, and losing the rock once in 16:20!!!!!
For Los Angeles, Josh Powell provided a payday of 1 trillion (1:01).
Spurs-Mavs: Keith Bogans fouled and bricked once each in 16:12 for a +2, while DeShawn Stevenson sauteed a shiitake or two briefly in a 7 second SUPER MARIO!
Frail Blazers-Suns: Dante Cunningham spent 11 seconds in the warmth of Bowser's castle for a Mario, while Jarron Collins - as Phoenix's starting big man in 11:35 - negated two boards with a brick and three fouls for a 3:2 Voskuhl.
Labels: Amare Stoudemire, Charlotte Bobcats, Chicago Bulls, NBA playoffs, Phoenix Suns, Utah Jazz, Worst of the Weekend
The Bizarro Bulls: Allow me, if you will, to steal a little content from myself. Imagine if a Bulls fan had used the Hot Tub Time Machine to travel from some time last October to right before last night’s tipoff against the Grizzlies in Memphis. They’d probably think they had traveled to some horrific alternate reality instead of through time.
After all, Chicago opened this season with a core group of Derrick Rose (out with a sprained wrist), Joakim Noah (out with plantar fasciitis), Luol Deng (out with a strained calf muscle), Kirk Hinrich (serving a one-game suspension), John Salmons (traded to Milwaukee) and Tyrus Thomas (traded to Charlotte).
In the absence of that core group -- which includes the team’s current four leading scorers -- the Bizarro Bulls opened last night’s game with a starting lineup of Brad Miller, Taj Gibson, Flip Murray, Acie Law and Jannero Pargo. After giving it some serious thought, I came to conclusion that it was the worst lineup I’d seen since 1998-99 when Chicago finished the season with a starting lineup of Tony Kukoc, Ron Harper, Dickey Simpkins, Rusty LaRue and Cory Carr.
That's some serious bawful.
Of course, the Grizzlies promptly sunk to the occasion, letting Flip Murray and Acie "I am the" Law stroll in for uncontested layups, committing seven early turnovers and falling behind 20-10. When they finally woke up in the second quarter, they went on a 17-0 run and took a 55-44 halftime lead. That lead bulged to 25 points in the third quarter...and then Memphis hit the snooze button.
The Grizzlies opened the fourth quarter by missing 10 of their first 12 shots -- which included two sweet blocks by James Johnson -- and committing 5 turnovers. Chicago rampaged all the way back from that 25-point hole to within four points (94-90) with under three minutes to go in the game.
Then things came undone, thanks primarily to...
Jannero Pargo: If I didn’t know better, I’d wonder whether somebody in the Memphis front office had slipped paid off Pargo to throw the game. Not did he shoot the ball like somebody had just rammed fish hooks in his eyes (4-for-15 from the field and 0-for-4 from downtown), but Jannero committed three of his co-game-high 5 turnovers in the final 2:27. That included turnovers on back-to-back possessions, which led to a hook shot and layup for Zach Randolph that pushed the Memphis lead to 98-90.
After Hasheem Thabeet hit a shot on the Grizzlies' next possession to put Memphis ahead 100-90, the game was pretty much over. I just hope Grizzlies coach Lionel Hollins did the right thing and gave Pargo the game ball. He was their MVP down the stretch.
That's eight straight losses for the Bulls, by the way. Chicago is now 1.5 games behind Toronto for the eigth and final Eastern Conference playoff spot.
ESPN highlights guy, unintionally dirty quote machine: From the Bulls-Griz highlight video: "That's a man's jam!"
Feel free to join me in saying, "Eww."
The Charlotte Bobcats: With a win over the Pacers in Indy, the Bobcats could have set a new franchise record with their seventh straight victory. However, the odds were against them (fifth game in eight days) and the situation was grim (Gerald Wallace missed his second consecutive game with an injured left ankle). The result was a 99-94 loss to a team that was headed for the NBA Draft Lottery months ago. Maybe not mathematically, but c'mon.
Said Stephen Jackson: "It wasn't really fatigue. We were missing shots, and we didn't let our defense be the catalyst of our game. We worried about our offense first, and didn't start playing defense until the fourth quarter. On the road, you can't get down and try to play catch-up."
Listen to him. Captain Jack came to Charlotte from Gol_en State. He practically has a doctorate in "Worrying About Offense First."
Of course, I suppose I could give the Pacers their own entry for almost squandering a 15-point fourth quarter lead.
Said Mike Dunleavy Jr.: "You have to close out games. Those guys are going to stick around and hang tough. We made some silly mistakes, took some bad fouls and made it closer than we would have liked."
It's always an adventure in Indiana. But not the fun kind of adventure where you find some fabulous treasure and get the girl. It's usually more of a misadventure where you end up face-first in a ditch.
Anyway, Charlotte gave up 22 points off 19 turnovers and missed 11 free throws, so the game was lost due to sloppy play. And no play was sloppier than the one made by...
Boris Diaw: The 'Cats actually had the ball and a chance to tie the game with less than a half-minute left in the game, but Boris committed a turrible turnovers, throwing the ball right to Indiana's Troy Murphy with 20 ticks to go.
Charlotte coach Larry Brown actually tried to deflect blame away from Diaw: "I tried to call timeout. We got kind of confused. That was my fault. I thought we maybe could get a two for one, but when there is indecision like that, I've got to be more responsible."
Uh, okay. Unless Brown dressed Murphy in a Bobcats jersey, I'm pretty sure it's Diaw's fault he didn't realize Troy wasn't on his team. But way to take one for the team, Larry.
Tyson Chandler: Yesterday on his blog, Chandler said: "I came back to the [Bobcats] on March 5th and we beat the Lakers that night. Since then, we've won our last six games."
Next thing you know, the 'Cats lose to the Pacers. Stat curse!
The Cleveland Cavaliers: Don't let the final score of their 113-101 win over the Pistons fool you...this game was freaky close until the final minutes. There were 10 lead changes and 21 ties. Heck, the game was tied with 4:44 left. Detroit just couldn't hold on.
Said Charlie V.: "We were trying to redeem ourselves, so this is very frustrating. It's encouraging to see us compete like this, but it is still another loss."
The game might have been over a lot sooner if the Crabs had been able to get some stops, or even if they hadn't bricked so many foul shots. I mean, they went 22-for-33 and Shaq didn't even play. I guess Shaqnopsis is an incurable disease.
LeBron's first three quarters: Another factor that helped keep Detroit in the game was how 'Bron went 5-for-15 through three quarters. James missed 10-of-15 shots over the first three quarters. Of course, he was 5-for-7 with 4 boards and 3 dimes in the fourth and ended up with his 28th career triple double (29-12-12).
Officiating: Man, it's good to be the
Said Will Bynum: "I'm not surprised by any call in the NBA any more, but you also have to give him some credit. There's probably no one else on Earth who could have even gotten a shot off like that." Or who would have been allowed to get it off.
But wait, there's more. With just under two minutes to go and the Pistons trailing 104-101, it looked like Bynum was going to score a breakaway layup to pull Detroit to within a point...but LeBron's uncalled goaltend put a stop to that:
Like I said, it's good to be the
The Miami Heat: In losing at home to the Spurs, the Heat missed a chance to leapfrog the Bobcats for the 6th spot in the Eastern Conference playoff race. It probably won't matter much in the end, since Miami finishes the season with nine straight games against sub-.500 teams. But for one night at least, the loss was a pretty big bummer.
The Heat shot 38 percent from the field and went 3-for-16 from three-point range, which might explain why they fell behind by 25 points in the third quarter. That's a pretty big hole to rally out of...and they didn't.
Said James Jones: "We gave them too much of a lead, too much of a spot to try to make up. When you're playing a good team like that, you don't get very many chances to put them away. They showed it tonight."
The San Antonio Spurs: They led 69-44 with a couple minutes to go in the third quarter but let the Heat cut that lead down to six points in the fourth before pulling away again. The reason: turnovers. San Antonio gave up 23 points off 22 TOs. But they've been winning a lot lately (4-1 since Tony Parker got hurt) and have become the latest team to be described as "surging." Uh huh. You know what that means...
The New Jersey Nyets: Their 108-84 home loss to the Hawks -- in which the Devin Harris-less Nyets shot 38 percent, bricked eight free throws and gave up 22 points off only 16 turnovers -- was important because it was New Jersey's 60th loss of the season. The Nyets still need three wins in their last 15 games to avoid tying or breaking 1972-73 Philadelphia 76ers' worst-ever win-loss record of 9-73.
Hope lives...IT LIVES!!!
Said Courtney Lee: "Today was a big letdown for us, we took a step back. We've been competitive on the road the last how many games have we played, but today was a big step back."
Wait, what? How many steps back can a 7-win team take? Aren't their asses already against the Wall of Bawful History? The bad news is...New jersey's schedule. They still have games left against the Bulls (twice), Kings, Pacers, Pistons, Sixers, Wizards.
Also, their last two games are against the Bobcats and Heat. Those games might be a wash for those teams if playoff positions have already been clinched. Bad as the Nyets are, I'd probably take them in a battle against the Charlotte and Miami benches.
Update! The Nyets are now 30-100 since Devin Harris said "We knew we were going to be a playoff team" way back on December 9, 2008. Thanks to chris for the reminder.
The Minnesota Timberwolves: 152 friggin' points. That's how many the Suns scored against the Timberpoops last night.
Said Minny coach Kurt Rambis: "Well, that's certainly what happens when you don't play any defense."
Added Ryan Gomes: "It's just embarrassing to let a team score that many points and still lose by that many points."
And here's some historical perspective on that courtesy of the Associated Press and ESPN Stats and Information:
Phoenix had eight players in double figures and set the NBA season high in scoring for a single game.Said Amar''''''e Stoudemire: "It was a lot of fun. It was so much fun when the starters were able to rest there in the fourth. We'll take that."
The Suns' 152 points are the most scored by any team this season and tied a U.S. Airways Center record originally set by the SuperSonics on January 22, 2006.
The Suns are the second team in the last 10 years to score 35-plus points in every quarter of a game (Nuggets vs. SuperSonics, March 16, 2008).
Phoenix scored 79 points in the first half. That's the second-most points scored in a half in the NBA this season, surpassed only by the 80-point second half for Milwaukee against Golden State on November 14. You knew Gol_en State was going to be brought into this somehow, right?
Oh, and regarding that 79-point first half: The Suns hadn't scored that many in a half since getting 80 in the second half in its 154-point game at Golden State back on March 15, 2009. You knew Gol_en State was going to be brought into this again, right?
Not so much fun for the Timberpoops, who lost their 10th straight game. By the way, that's the longest active losing streak in the league.
Robin Lopez: Rough week for Robin. First Steve Nash's balls, now this...
Thanks to Basketbawful reader manic for the link.
The Washington
It also didn't help that the Bullets were at the end of a rather grueling stretch. Said Flip Saunders: "I thought we played pretty well for having five games in six nights, five different cities. We gave ourselves a chance. We just didn't have enough juice down the stretch."
Washington has now lost nine straight games for the first time since January 4-19, 2001.
Mr. Big Shot: From the AP game notes: "Chauncey Billups went 0-for-6 from 3-point range, ending a career-best streak of 36 games in which he had made at least one 3-pointer."
Shot selection: Pau Gasol and Andrew Bynum combined to shoot 21-for-28 shots. Mamba was 10-for-26 (2-for-6 on treys). No wonder Gasol isn't happy. But hey, what's Pau complaining about? Just because Kobe's eighth on the Lakers in Effective Field Goal Percentage -- behind even Jordan Farmar, Ron Artest, Sasha Vujacic and Shannon Brown -- doesn't mean he shouldn't continue taking the most difficult shots possible. And it's very mature of Kobe not to "blast Gasol into oblivion" for behing disgruntled. Just ask Adrian Wojnarowski.
Speaking of Mamba, here's a belated man love pic from the Lakers-Warriors game. Thanks to anonymous Basketbawful reader who sent it in.
Kings fans: Where were they last night? Not at Arco, that's for sure. And it freaked Carl Landry out: "I almost thought we were playing in the Staples Center. I've never seen anything like that before. To see that many Lakers fans out there was kind of disappointing."
Lacktion report: I will forgive chris for not showing up to the Lakers-Kings game to help keep the L.A. fans at bay...but only because of his dutiful commitment to lacktion reporting.
Spurs-Heat: Matt Bonner may have had one field goal in 12:55, but two turnovers and five fouls led to a 7:2 Voskuhl! Malik Hairston combed himself a treasure of 2.1 trillion (2:07), and Ian Mahinmi tossed a brick in 2:03 for a +1 suck differential.
Meanwhile, for Miami, Jamaal Magloire bricked once and added a rejection, foul, and turnover to the line for a +4 in 3:50 that doubled as a 2:0 Voskuhl.
Hawks-Nyets: Jason Collins took a sip of a foul and a giveaway for a +2 in 4:29 that also earned a 2:0 Voskuhl.
Bulls-Grizzlies: Joe Alexander went turnip-tossing in just 6 seconds to give Chicago a SUPER MARIO!
Lakers-Kings: Adam Morrison checked into the ledger tonight with a rejection and two bricks in 2:33 that earned a +3.
Labels: Charlotte Bobcats, Chicago Bulls, Cleveland Cavaliers, Miami Heat, Minnesota Timberwolves, officiating, San Antonio Spurs, utter defenselessness
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