First, a few belated WotNs...

Amare Stoudemire: From Basketbawful reader Josh: "I was at the Pacers/Suns game when Amare went off for 49. However, Amare, as well as everyone else at the game, believed that he had scored 51, breaking the 50-point barrier along with his career high of 50. This is because the giant player statistics screen at Conseco Fieldhouse showed that Amare had scored 51. At this point, Amare began passing every time he got the ball, seemingly going for a triple-double. He had to be a little disappointed when he go to the locker room and was told that he didn't break 50."

Stat padding? From a guy who once nicknamed himself STAT?! Never! After the game, Sun Tzu said: "You guys here in Indiana cheated me." Now, supposedly he made the comment jokingly, but I'm guessing his laughter was about as sincere as McCain's concession speech.

Steve Blake: Yesterday, Basketbawful reader Austen left the following comment: "Heh, I'm surprised you didn't note that funny moment during the Jazz-Blazers game where one of the players was trying to catch an inbound pass and stuck his right foot out behind him...into Brevin Knight's crotch area. Knight decided to clamp his knees together, so hilarity ensued when that player tried to run in a different direction to catch the inbounds pass. They ended up having to rush the inbound passer back inbonds after the pass just to keep the play going." Austen later added: "It was Blazers player [Steve] Blake who stuck his foot out into Brevin Knight's man region, and got caught with his foot in the cookie jar at 5:19 in the 4th quarter of last night's game." And here's the pictorial evidence:


Elton Brand: Shortly after the Philadelphia 76ers signed Brand to that $80 million contract last summer, Elton said: "I'm prepared to do some big things this year." Last night, those "big things" included scoring 6 points on 3-for-8 shooting in 35 minutes. Brand has been in an offensive slump so far this season. He's scored 20+ points and hit at least half of his shots only once, and it's no coincidence that it happened against the Knicks and Mike D'Antoni's "We play defense for :07 seconds or less" system. Now, mind you, it's not Brand's fault. Part of the reason for his struggles are the fault of...

The Philadelphia 76ers' offense: The Sixers, as a team, are shooting 44 percent as a team this season. And that number would be far worse if the Sixers hadn't hit 60 percent of their shots against both the Knicks and the Kings...two utterly defenseless teams. Philly shot 34 percent in their season opener against Toronto, 41 percent at Atlanta, 37 percent versus Miami and 38 percent last night against Orlando. Right now, the team's spacing is horrible. Brand is getting harrassed by double-teams and nobody seems to know where to position themselves for the kickout. When you have a dominant low post player, you have to provide him with passing angles and capable shooters. Right now, Brand is getting neither.

Andre Miller: I guess he's been watching too much Derrick Rose. Last night, Miller took 24 shots -- and hit only 7 of them -- while dishing for only 2 assists. That's six more shot attempts than the next closest guy (Thaddeus Young was 7-for-18), and 12 more shots than the guy after that (Andre Iguodala was 4-for-12). As I've said before, a 10-to-1 ratio of shots-to-assists is not what you want from your starting point guard.

Dwight Howard: He was limited to only four first-half minutes due to foul trouble and still finished with 14 points, 8 rebounds and 3 blocked shots. And 7 of those points and 2 of the blocks came during the fourth quarter, when the Magic where holding off the Sixers' rally. But man, I would feel a lot better about Superman if he could develop a low post move or two. And if he could hit a free throw (he was 2-for-8 last night and is currently at 44 percent for the season).

J.J. Redick: Earned his second consecutive DNP-CD. Remember, he was the sixth man about a week ago.

"Let's finish this up guys. I really gotta pee!"
The Houston Rockets' end-of-game defense: You'd think that a team built on defense would be able to hold a one-point lead with 0.8 seconds left, right? Well, then, you'd be wrong. Brandon Roy dropped a 30-foot atom bomb on the Rockets as time expired to give the Blazers a 101-99 overtime win. Said Rockets coach Rick Adelman: "I don’t know why he got so wide open. We should have had somebody on him. We made a mistake." Yeah, I'd call that a mistake. Man, where's Shane Battier when you need him?

Of course, Roy had to hit that shot to avoid getting a WotN mention himself, since on the previous possession he fouled Yao on a score, which allowed Ming the Merciless (after hitting the free throw) to put Houston up by one point with less than a second on the clock. Actually, you know what...

Brandon Roy: I'm happy for the kid. I am. He hit some clutch shots. But I don't want to see him posing like this unless he's in the middle of some kind of gamma ray-induced transformation.

"Bloargh!"
Yao Ming: When I watched Yao's first shot of the game get blocked by Joel Przybilla -- and it was a smother chicken, no less -- I knew I'd be hearing about Yao from somebody. Sure enough, I received the following e-mail from Basketbawful reader Vinny Gorgeous a few minutes later: "I am writing this with 9:40 left in the first quarter of the Blazers-Rockets game, and I'm ready to nominate Yao for WotN, because DAY-UMN -- the Vanilla Gorilla with a huge rejection. And now Joel's been added to the list of things Yao Ming can't dunk on (along with the rim.) I mean, it's 2 minutes in! His legs can't be tired at this point! And he's getting stuffed by JOEL PRZYBILLA? I don't care if he goes off for 30/20/5 tonight, that's awful."

It's even more awful than you think, Vinny, since -- as I pointed out -- the block you're talking about was the second time Joel had stuffed another brick into the Great Wall of Yao. Oh, and Yao didn't go off for 30/20/5. More like 13/6/1 on 4-for-13 shooting. Oh, and for future reference, Joel is referred to as the Vanilla Godzilla around these parts.

Bonus footage! It's a few days delayed, but here's a mashup of Yao's performance against the Celtics a few days ago:


Ron Artest: He was supposed to help ease the Rockets' scoring woes, but last night he scored a "meh" 9 points on 3-for-9 shooting. He's shooting 34 percent on the season...and only 31 percent from inside the arc.

Update! Tracy McGrady: Basketbawful reader Andrei said: "You have to give T-mac a Worst of the Night for his defense on the last play of the game. He was supposed to guard Roy, but once the play started and Roy bolted towards the ball, T-mac just pointed at him and then casually jogged in that direction just in time to see the a-bomb go off in his face. At 1:08 in these highlightsm just keep an eye on McGrady. Way to delegate Mr. All-Star." Good points, one and all.

John Paxson: Hey, John. I just wanted to let you know that LaMarcus Aldridge scored 27 points on 12-for-20 shooting last night. He also grabbed 9 boards, dished out a pair of assists and blocked two shots. And you swapped him for Tyrus Thomas and Viktor Khryapa. Yeah...how's that workin' out for you again? On the subject of the Bulls...

Chicago Bulls drama: One of the reasons the Bulls fell from grace last season was that many of the players had their own agendas and therefore tuned out Scott Skiles. And even after Skiles was canned (on Christmas eve), they didn't exactly kill themselves for interim head coach Jim Boylan. All that stuff was supposed to be ancient history...but it's not: Ben Gordon and Luol Deng are already making subtle criticisms to the press. "Starters have to get off to a good start; that's their responsibility," Gordon said after Sefolosha went scoreless and starting forward Tyrus Thomas had one point against the Cavaliers. "They have to step it up. Maybe Coach needs to mix something up a little bit." Translation: Coach needs to start me.

Deng, on the other hand, seems to think his slow start is the fault of the team's offense. "I still don't feel I'm playing how I want to play. We have to find sets that we're productive from and try to give teams different looks. We stayed with similar sets, especially in the fourth quarter. We have to switch it up a little bit." Translation: Coach needs to call more plays for me.

But Vinny D isn't changing for nobody, nohow: "No, no, no; they're the players, I'm the coach," Del Negro said. "The easiest thing is to look from the outside in and say we should do this or that. But when you go through it, it's a lot different. We're trying to put everybody in the most successful area we can. Sometimes it's not the system; sometimes it is. Sometimes it's the familiarity of everything."

Del Negro then put the onus right back on his players. "It's probably frustration talking. [Deng] got good looks [Wednesday], just like a few other guys. At times I thought we played pretty well moving the ball, but [we're] still shooting the ball too quick. Guys [are] a little bit unsure and thinking too much instead of playing. What happens is, sometimes [players] get a little bit out of sync and they start forcing things and try to do things they're not comfortable with. That hurts them even more. You just have to be patient and understand where you're going to get your shots."

So glad to see that everybody's on the same page...

Update! Kobe Bryant: He cheated to beat his daughters at Candyland. And then he talked trash to them for the rest of the night.

Labels: Andre Miller, Ben Gordon, Brandon Roy, Chicago Bulls, Elton Brand, Houston Rockets, john paxson, luol deng, Philadelphia 76ers, Vinny Del Negro

Now serving Luol Deng on a stick!
Ever hear of Mister Softee? According to Wikipedia, it is "a United States-based ice cream truck franchisor popular in the Northeast. It is the largest franchisor of soft ice cream in the United States." And they have such a delightful jingle: "The creamiest, dreamiest soft ice cream, you get from Mister Softee. For a refreshing delight supreme, look for Mister Softee. Milkshakes and my sundaes and cones are such a treat, listen for my store on wheels, ding-a-ling down the street. For a refreshing delight supreme, Look for Mister Softee. S-O-F-T Double 'E', Mister Softee!" And if that doesn't make you scream for ice cream, then you live in a cold and empty world.

Anyway, as you probably know, many Wiki entries have an "In Popular Culture" section, and Mister Softee's page is no different. (For instance, A Mister Softee truck driven by Gail (Catherine O'Hara) was a key device in the Martin Scorsese film After Hours. Fascinating.) The basketball connection -- and I know that's is important to many of you -- was this item: "Mister Softee is also a reference for the Chicago Bulls' Luol Deng, who is one of the softest players in the NBA." Ouch. Sorry, Luol. It is kinda true, though...

Thanks to Detroit Murder Dog (real name folks) for the tip.

Labels: fan submissions, luol deng, Mister Softee, so squishy

The San Antonio Spurs: Everybody always talks about what a competitive bastard Kobe Bryant is, but what about those Spurs, huh? They must have seen the video I posted of Zach Randolph's poop stew of a possession and said, "You think that sucked, Basketbawful? Well, we're going to show you craptastic suckitude on a grand and historic level. And then we'll win anyway." And I'll be damned if they weren't as good as the words I imagined they said. The defending champs scored five points -- five points!! -- in the first quarter, setting new franchise lows in points, field goals made (1-for-17), and field goal percentage (6) in a single 12-minute session.

Fun fact: The Spurs' previous low in points for a quarter was eight, which they most recently had on Christmas Day in 2005 at Detroit.

The Atlanta Hawks: When you hold your opponent to five points on 6 percent shooting in the first quarter, you're probably well on your way to a nice, easy win. Unless, of course, you are the Atlanta Hawks, who have been snatching defeat from the jaws of victory since 1968. And make no mistake: This loss was a group effort. The Hawks shot 33 percent as a team and committed 22 turnovers. All-Star Joe Johnson hit only 5-of-12 shots and threw the ball away 6 times. Mike Bibby couldn't throw a ping pong ball in the ocean (1-for-11). Josh Smith shot 2-for-12 and lost the ball 8 times. Mario Williams scored a one trillion. Say it with me once again: They are who we thought they were.

Marquis Daniels: A woman was allegedly raped at Daniels' home during a "small gathering." According to the police, Daniels is not a suspect. Said Daniels: "I don't know what happened. I wasn't involved." He wasn't involved in a small gathering held at his own house? What, did a roving band of criminals break in and decide to throw a rape party? I doubt it. Brawls, shootings, more shootings, mascot assault and battery...am I the only person who's tired of seeing random Pacers in the Indianapolis police blotter? Or am I the last Pacers fan alive? Anyone out there? Anyone? Bueller?

Travis Diener: I'm not going to going to mention the whole "name rhymes with wiener" thing -- oops, I mentioned it -- because the real issue was his 2-for-10 shooting performance. What, the Pacers miss Jamaal Tinsley so much they replaced him with sombody who shoots even worse? Diener's hitting 33 percent of his shots on the season. He's only hit 50 percent of his shots once in 10 games this month, and he's had nights of 2-for-8, 1-for-7, 2-for-8 again, 1-for-7 again, 2-for-6, and 3-for-9. I thought white guards were supposed to be able to shoot. That's what they do, right? Shoot?

Andrea Bargnani: His 25-point discharge against the Knicks had me a little worried. I thought I was going to lose one of my favorite human dartboards. But, again, he is who we thought he was: 2 points (1-for-5) and 3 turnovers. Not his worst game by any stretch of the imagination, but it merits Worst of the Night mention since it immediately followed so many foolishly raised expectations.

Kirk Hinrich: Captain Kirk set his phaser to "suck" last night, scoring zero points (0-for-2) to go along with 2 assists and 3 turnovers in 11 minutes of playing time. Oh, and did I mention he got tossed near the end of the first half for arguing with referee Monty McCutchen that a loose ball was knocked out of bounds by Jason Kidd. Getting yourself ejected when your team is up by 30 is kind of stupid, but getting thrown out when your team is in a dog fight against a good team on the road is [puts on Bill Walton hat] selfish, irresponsible, self-aggrandizing, and just plain terrible.

Luol Deng: He scored 10 points on 3-for-9 shooting, which isn't the strongest case for Worst of the Night status, until you consider that John Paxson absolutely refused to trade for Kevin Garnett, Pau Gasol, or even Kobe Bryant if Deng was to be included in the trade. How'd that work out for you, Pax?

Bill Simmons: The man who consistently loses out to his wife on NFL picks bashed the Jason Kidd trade because Kidd can't shoot (5-for-7 last night), can't get to the hole anymore (3-for-4 on layups), can't make things any easier for Dirk (29 points, 10 rebounds), and Jerry Stackhouse is washed up (23 points, 7-for-11). Good calls, one and all, Bill. Sure, it's only one game, and it was against the Bulls. But still...

J.R. Smith: He faked Chauncey Billups out on a crossover and drew a foul with 6.5 seconds remaining and the Nuggets down by two. Then he went and gonked both freethrows and the Pistons went on to win 98-93. Hey, maybe the Detroit fans distracted hi...wait, what? They were playing in Denver? Never mind, then. Said Smith: "I feel awful." No. You feel basketbawful. Edit: My bad, guys and gals. Basketbawful reader Andrew correctly informed me that the Nuggets were down three when Smith got fouled on a three-point attempt. Smith made the first 'throw, boned the second, then intentionally missed the third. It is, nonetheless, still awful.

Marcus Camby: While I'm dissing on the Nuggets, let's not forget Mr. "I shoulda been an All-Star" Camby, who shot 1-for-8 last night. He was 0-for-1 on layups and 1-for-7 on jumpers. Only one of his shots -- the layup -- came in the paint. He's a center, right? Thinks he should have been an All-Star center, right? Okay. Just checking.

The Los Angeles Clippers: You know what? Forget it. They've been through enough.

Labels: Andrea Bargnani, Atlanta Hawks, Bill Simmons, Kirk Hinrich, Los Angeles Clippers, luol deng, Marcus Camby, Marquis Daniels, San Antonio Spurs

Detroit Pistons: The Pistons went 0-for-the-weekend after losing back-to-back games against the Lakers and Kings. That means Detroit has lost three of their last four games. Why? Simple: They've lost their defensive focus. After holding their first five opponents to 87.8 PPG, the Pistons have given up scores of 103, 102, 104, 103, and 105 to their last five opponents -- and that's including games against Seattle (99.4 PPG), Portland (93.7 PPG), and Sacramento (99.4). I'm not a mathematologist, but even I know that a team averaging just under 100 PPG can't give up more than that and win on a consistent basis.

New York Knicks: Speaking of teams that went o-for-the-weekend and can't play defense, the Knicks gave up 238 points in back-to-back losses to the Kings and Nuggets. The Knicks defense was so bad that even Allen Iverson shot better than 50 percent against them (7-13). New York now has a nice six-game losing streak going -- tops in the NBA!

Portland Trailblazers: After two exciting, hope-lifting wins against Dallas and Detroit, the Blazers have lost three in a row, including both weekend games against the 76ers (3-6) and Wizards (4-5). They're a young team, and all three losses were on the road, but that doesn't change the fact that they just didn't play well and are currently 0-6 away from home this season.

Utah Jazz: Yet another 0-for-the-weekend team. And while I can sort of understand Friday Night's 99-94 loss to the Cavaliers -- Lebron James blitzkrieged the Jazz with a 40/10/9 performance -- Saturday night's 117-97 loss to the Pacers was totally unforgivable. Utah played the role of Jesus to the Pacers' Lazarus, resurrecting both Mike Dunleavy Jr. (25 points), Jamaal Tinsley (13 assists), and a team that had lost six straight games. Oh, and the Jazz let the Pacers shoot 58 percent. Man, the Pacers couldn't shoot 58 percent in an empty gym full of Nerf hoops.

Houston Rockets: They also went 0-for-the-weekend and are stuck in a four-game losing streak. Mind you, Tracy McGrady has missed the last two-and-a-half games with his annual semi-serious injury, and the Rockets lost three of the four to hot teams (Lakers, Spurs, and Suns). But still, the Rockets have been losing and looking bad while doing so. The only bright spot has been the play of their 40-year-old rookie, Luis Scola. Speaking of which...

Doubters: Some people have been wondering whether Luis Scola is going to be an NBA bust. Scola responded to this criticism (of which I'm sure he was completely unaware) with two very good games: 20 points (10-11), and 4 rebounds against the Spurs, and 20 points (10-19), 11 rebounds, and 4 assists against the Suns. He also was Houston's best player in both games. Not bad.

Rashard Lewis: I know I'm always ragging on Rashard for his poor rebounding skills, but seriously, he deserves it. He's an athletic, 6'10" forward and he got outrebounded 24-7 by opposing point guards this weekend. That's just sad.

Los Angeles Clippers: The Clips teased us all by starting the season 5-2 and then lost consecutive games to the Warriors (2-6) and Bulls (2-7). Yep: They are who we thought they were.

Kevin Durant: The kid shot 3-12 in the Soncis' 100-84 loss to the Bobcats. But I'm used to his sour shooting by now. What really concerned me was the fact that he had only one rebound. Maybe it's only a coincidence, but Seattle got pounded on the boards, 60-38. I know Durant is thin, but he's tall and athletic enough to grab more than one rebound in 30 minutes of action. I mean, according to the box score Jermareo Davidson played exactly zero minutes and even he had one rebound. Rebounding is all about effort, Kevin. Let's see some.

Minnesota Timberwolves: Just how bad are the Wolves? Antoine Walker -- 14 points (5-9), 5 rebounds, 2 assists -- was listed as their top performer in Friday night's 105-89 loss to the Wizards. If Antoine Walker is ever your top performer, you are a bad, bad, bad team.

Luol Deng: The Bulls crappy offense got even crappier in the second half of their 106-78 loss to the Lakers, and I found myself thinking, "Boy, they could sure use Luol Deng right about now." Unfortunately, Deng sat out with what he's desribing as a "bruised ligament" in his back. A whatted what? You can bruise a ligament? I'm not a doctor, but it sounds to me like he has a case of Big Vaginaitis. You know, Larry Bird used to suffer back pain so bad that he couldn't feel his legs or even wiggle his toes. Sometimes he'd have to go to the hospital and be put in traction between games. Do you think that Bird would have abandoned his team, especially if it had been struggling as bad as the Bulls have been, with a "bruised ligament"? Yeah, me either. But the Bulls wouldn't trade Deng for Kobe. I'm just sayin'.

Boston Celtics: The C's lost more games this weekend than they had lost all season. Okay, it was only one game, but still. Anyway, their 104-102 loss to the Magic raises an interesting question: How does a team shoot 53 percent and outrebound their opponent 41-28 and still lose? Hmm, I would guess that Orlando's 44 freethrow attempts (to Boston's 26) had a little something to do with that. Mmmmm...smells like a little home cookin' to me. Of course, the Celtics kind of shot themselves in the foot a little bit too, committing 19 turnovers and falling into a 20-point hole in the first half. And Pierce's last-second shot, an off-balance jumper from 26 feet, was that really the best shot the Celtics could have gotten?

Labels: Boston Celtics, Detroit Pistons, Houston Rockets, Kevin Durant, luol deng, Minnesota Timberwolves, New York Knicks, Portland Trailblazers, Rashard Lewis, Utah Jazz

Well, Kobe trade rumors are flying around again today, with prognosticators saying he could most likely end up with the Bulls. While this would no doubt be a boon to the commercial profitability of the Bulls and to new Kobe jersey sales, the Bulls shouldn’t do it.

Why?

We all know what the Bulls would have to give up to get him - Ben Gordon and Luol Deng. While Gordon has been quietly - and sometimes not-so-quietly - considered very tradable (he’s undersized and overhyped), Luol Deng, by contrast, is the future of the Bulls – even more so than Kobe could ever be, even more so than Elton Brand ever might have been.

Am I saying that Deng's upside is better than Kobe’s? Within the context of this team, you bet. This is an unselfish group that plays more like the Spurs than the Cavs, and to introduce a far-more-selfish-than-LeBron-has-ever-been player like Kobe will upset the apple cart. Not to mention that we all just saw how Spurs-style team ball easily trumped Cavs-style LeBron ball in the Finals.

Deng is unflappable, unselfish and a future all-star. He was fantastic against the Heat in the playoffs and showed plenty of spirit against the Pistons. This Bulls team, as it stands, is very close to being the best in the East. With another year of experience, they are poised to be better than the Pistons and the Cavaliers. Note to John Paxson: if you decide to dramatically alter this current chemistry, you had better be right. The Bulls are already an exciting, dynamic, crowd-drawing, playoff-calibre team. If you mess with that just to get a superstar name on the roster, you had better be right that it will produce a winner.

Possible exception: If you can manage to get Kobe while keeping Deng – perhaps with a Ben Gordon / Ben Wallace or Tyrus Thomas / draft picks trade – then consider it. But only consider it. Getting Kobe is not a no-brainer. Even if you keep the critical pieces of the team in tact, and retain enough talent and positive attitudes to maybe offset Kobe's monster ego, introducing a player-slash-personality like Kobe is a complete team makeover. This is a guy who Phil Jackson and Shaq had a tough time handling; you seriously expect Scott Skiles to keep him in line? Granted, Skiles is a bulldog, and I wouldn't want to meet him in a dark alley without a kickass set of Chinese throwing stars, but he doesn't have Kobe-cred. Kobe would, by default, be more powerful than the coach, and that is a disaster waiting to happen. It's already a disaster for the Lakers, but they wouldn't admit it for a second. Don't be surprised if they take just a little bit less than you might expect to get rid of the cancer that is Kobe Bryant.

All in all, keeping the status quo would be wise for the Bulls. They are on the verge of turning a very big corner as a team, and the best move by John Paxson would be no move at all. Unless, of course, he LIKES cancer.

Not for me, baby. I'm Kobe Bryant, dammit."

Labels: Chicago Bulls, john paxson, Kobe Bryant, luol deng