Rajon Rondo prepares to take it up the you-know-what from Derek Fisher.
The Boston Celtics: Well...after stealing Game 2 in L.A. the Celtics had Game 3 bogarted from them in Boston. But on the bright side, Paul Pierce's "We ain't coming back to L.A." prediction is still in play...assuming the Celts lose Games 4 and 5.

Ugh. Double ugh. Boston opened the game pretty well (going up 12-5) before coming apart and falling behind 37-20 with 9:10 in the second quarter. And yeah, that's about the point where I started to panic.


The Celtics came out running, scoring 8 points (4-for-4) in transition in the first 4:06. Over the remaining 43:54, they scored only 8 more points on the run. One of the reasons Boston won Game 2 was because they pushed the ball relentlessly. For whatever reason, they stopped doing that for most of Game 3. Credit L.A.'s defense for some of that, but all I know is that Rajon Rondo did an awful lot of walking the ball up the court.

Were the Celtics tired? Not all of them. KG (25 points, 11-for-16) looked pretty spry for a dead guy. But Rondo (11 points, 8 assists, 3 rebounds) and Ray Allen (we'll get to him) looked flat as hell. You know how I've been slamming Doc Rivers' rotation -- or, more accurately, lack thereof -- all playoffs? Remember how I said it might bite him in the ass due to the short turnaround (plus traveling) between Games 2 and 3? Well, let's just say sometimes I hate being right.

During the 2010 playoffs, Rajon Rondo is averaging over 41 minutes per game. Paul Pierce and Ray Allen are just under 40. Not surprisingly, those three guys numbers one, two and three in minutes played during the playoffs.

Boston shot 43 percent from the field and hit only 4 of their 18 three-point attempts. They also shanked eight free throws -- including seven misses during the first half -- which ended up being kind of big. The Celtics actually outscored the Lakers 50-38 in the paint, but they were outrebounded 43-35 (including 11-8 on the offensive glass). And check out The Four Factors: The Celtics and Lakers were pretty much dead even in every category exept Offensive Rebounding Percentage, which L.A. won by a significant margin. The rebounding stat is huge, especially in this series. Typically, the hardest working team wins that category. Last night, that team was the Lakers.

Ray Allen: There's an ongoing debate about whether the "hot hand" actually exists. However, Ray Allen has provided irrefutable evidence that the "cold hand" does exist...and it froze Allen right out of the game. Ray's line: 42 minutes, 0-for-13 from the field (0-for-8 from downtown, 0-for-5 on two-pointers), 2-for-2 from the line, 2 points, 4 rebounds, 2 assists, 2 turnovers, 2 fouls, and a plus-minus score of -10.

Ray finished with more crowd dives (1) than field goals (0). Not good.
ESPNBoston's Chris Forsberg gives us a little perspective on Ray-Ray's shooting night: "Allen's 0-for-13 performance ranked as the second-worst 0-fer in Finals history, falling one miss short of the record of 0-for-14 shared by Seattle's Dennis Johnson in 1979 and Baltimore's Chick Reiser in 1948. ... How bad was Tuesday's performance? Allen had never endured anything even close. His previous high for consecutive missed field goals was nine on Jan. 4, 2008. You'd have to go all the way back to April 4, 1999 (8) or Feb. 26, 1997 (7) to find his other career lows. ... Registering two measly points, Allen produced his lowest career postseason scoring output besides a scoreless performance against the Cavaliers on May 6, 2008, in which he missed all four shots he took over 37:09.

After the way Allen lit the Lakers up in Game 2, his Game 3 performance was mystifying. It was slowly killing me. No, seriously, I had vital functions shutting down every time Allen missed a shot, especially the open three he clanked with 54 seconds left when the Celtics were down only 84-80.

And this is where I point out the psychological damage of Allen's misguided shooting. It wasn't an issue until the second half, but you could tell that Ray was getting frustrated with himself. Worse, his teammates looked deflated as he continued to miss. And after that miss I just described, the wind just seemed to go out of the team, which lead to a huge, game-breaking play for the Lakers (see below).

Of course, this isn't unprecedented. During last year's Bulls-Celtics matchup, Allen started the series with a 1-for-12 performance then scored 30 in Game 2. His 51-point explosion in Game 6 was sandwiched between 3-for-8 and 6-for-14 performances. The point: Ray run hot and cold...as most jump shooters do. And sometimes his swings are pretty epic.

Said Doc Rivers: "It's a hell of a swing, I'll tell you that. It's basketball. That's why you can't worry about it. He'll be back in the gym [Wednesday] and getting ready for the next game. I thought he was pressing early on some of them, and, honestly, I thought all of his shots looked flat tonight. I didn't think he had any legs. I don't know if the knee and the thigh had anything to do with it, but I just thought he was short on most of his jump shots. Of the 13, I think eight of them were great looks, and all of them were short, all of them were flat. It happens to the best of us."

Yeah, I'm sure his lack of legs have nothing to do with the fact that you've reached the NBA Finals but still haven't decided on a regular rotation and you've playing Ray 40+ minutes a game in the last three rounds. You do realize human beings need rest, don't you Doc?

Added Derek Fisher: "We obviously didn't expect him to go 0 for 13, but it's a tough gig for him to run around offensively the way he has to and then have to guard Kobe on the other end. I mean, that takes anybody's legs out. It takes my legs out chasing him. So there are going to be nights maybe when his legs aren't there because he's having to work so hard on both ends, but we won't see 0 for 13 on Thursday night, that's for sure."

Speaking of Fish...

Boston's fourth quarter defense on Derek Fisher: For most of the season, and especially after Allen lit him up in Game 2, people have been hosing Fisher down with Febreeze to cover up the dead Fish smell. Rumor has it that Adam Morrison had been tasked with plucking the maggots off Derek's corpse.

Now, some people will credit him for holding Allen to 0-for-8 shooting during the time they were matched up, but several of those were open shots, so I'm not really buying it. Ray-Ray had a meltdown that bordered on supernatural, so unless Fish had a voodoo doll -- and I'm not totally discounting that possibility -- Allen probably would have sucked no matter who was guarding him.

What Fisher did do was take care of L.A.'s clutch scoring. During the fourth quarter -- while Mamba was taking turrible shots and going 1-for-6 -- Fisher reanimated to score 11 points on 5-for-7 shooting. And make no mistake, he hit some tough ones.

Of course, they could have and should have been tougher. Rondo is a pretty good defensive guard, but he sometimes gets caught going under screens and giving his man a little too much cushion. And he sure did that with Fisher down the stretch. I have no idea why. I mean, it's not like Fisher is a stranger to playoff heroics.


I guess Rondo believed that shot was as ancient as Fisher. Sucker. Speaking of suckers, Fisher's biggest play of the game came in the final minute after Allen missed that three I mentioned above. Fish rebounded that miss and, despite that whole "foot in the grave" thing, pushed the ball down court. It was a huge play, because he caught the Celtics napping. Seriously, what were they doing? Not playing transition defense, that's for sure.

Well, Fish drove in for the layup and got fouled by three bumbling Celtics in the process (Big Baby was called for it). He completed the "And-1" to give the Lakers an 87-80 lead with 48 seconds left. Biggest play of the game. The Allen-miss, Fisher-make sequence pretty much decided the game.


Said Phil Jackson: "He saw the opening and went and made a very bold play. ... It was imperative that it goes in for us to win. When he's got an opportunity to hit a key shot, it seems like he's always there and ready."

Added Rivers: "Derek Fisher was the difference in the game. He's just a gutty, gritty player and he gutted the game out for them. I thought Kobe was struggling a little bit, and Fisher -- he basically took the game over. ... I don't know what he had in the fourth quarter ... but most of them were down the stretch."

Kobe Bryant's shooting gunning: Welcome back, Mamba! Maybe he was annoyed that a lot of people think that Pau Gasol was L.A.'s best player in Games 1 or 2, because Kobe had one of his classic "Fuck the Triangle, I'm taking whatever shot I want whenever I want it" nights: 10-for-29 from the field. By comparison, Pau Gasol attempted only 11 shots despite the fact that Gasol is fifth in FGP for the entire playoffs (and, effectively, it should be higher since Arron Afflalo and Serge Ibaka are ahead of him...).

I get it. I do. Kobe wanted to go all IDAK Alpha 12 on the Celtics. Sorry, I'm sticking with my Lost In Space comparison for just another second.


Killer instinct is a great thing, but Kobe was not taking high percentage shots. Here's the breakdown: 1-for-2 at the rim, 3-for-4 inside 10 feet, 1-for-3 from 10-15 feet, 4-for-13 from 16-23 feet and 1-for-7 on three-pointers. And I probably don't need to tell you that many of those were hotly contested. How many times did Mark Jackson or Jeff Van Gundy remark that Kobe's shot jackery was him "putting his foot on the pedal" or "shooting himself into a rhythm"? Really?

Look, I'll be the firt to admit that Mamba was contributing in other areas: He had 7 rebounds, 4 assists, 2 steals, 3 blocked shots and a couple fantastic hustle plays. But Kobe damn near shot the Lakers out of this game. He just got lucky that 1) Fisher saved his ass and 2) Allen was shooting far, far worse.

Paul Pierce: The Half Truth became the latest victim of this Finals' "foul trouble." No, I said I was done discussing the officiating and I meant it. (I'll let Doc Rivers do it for me.) I will say this: Pierce was plagued by foul trouble and, despite logging 34 minutes, never got into the flow of the game, finishing with only 15 points on 5-for-12 shooting. (Sadly, the Celtics probably would have won if Ray Allen had played that well. But I digress.)

What's more, Pierce didn't do much of anything else: 2 boards, 2 assists, no steals. Hey, Paul? Maybe you haven't heard, but you're in the NBA Finals. Feel free to show up and stuff.

Doc Rivers: Okay, I've already dissed his personnel management, but seriously: After scoring 7 points in six minutes in Game 3, he scored 5 points in just under six minutes in Game 4. I'm not saying Krypto-Nate should be getting 25 minutes a game, but the Celtics struggled to score for most of the night. Nate is an explosive scorer off the bench. Rondo is getting worn down by all those minutes. Does anybody see where I'm going with this?

Stupid rules: Okay, you probably already know about that play where Rajon Rondo fouled Lamar Odom but the ball went off Odom's hand so, after a video review, the ball was given back to the Celtics. Mind you, this isn't a slam on the officials. Their call was correct...but only because the video review policy doesn't allow the refs to review fouls and no-calls. That's a pretty big loophole and people would be screaming about it today if the Lakers had lost.

Glen Davis: Memo to Big Baby: Your faces are scaring me. Please stop. Thanks. -Basketbawful

Ray Allen, quote machine: After literally shooting his team to a loss, all Ray-Ray could do was wax philosophic:

"I just know the game doesn't owe anything to anybody. I can't just think that it's always supposed to be the way I want it to be. You gotta make your own breaks at both ends of the floor. Offensively, you have to find ways to get over the hump. Every game, every day, you gotta get out there and get your rhythm and work on your shot. Try to improve it.

"That's why you always have to be humble. When things go great, it's good to be a part of. You have to be sure to make good decisions. Moving forward, you have to continue to work on things you need to work on to be good in the future. Preparation is the biggest key.

"But I never hang my head. [Wednesday] is another opportunity to get right back on track. I gotta take my hat off to them. They took away a lot of the open, easier looks that I had from last time."

Derek Fisher, quote machine: "I think as you grow in this game and you put in the work that's required to still be around 14 years later, you start to recognize that being in this moment, on this stage, it's not a given. It's not something that happens every season. Five or 10 years from now, when I'm long gone, I would have hated to feel like I didn't just do everything I could have to help my team. Things have worked out well, and we have two more wins to get to really put a nice cap on it."

Bill Simmons' psychic abilities: Dan B. e-mailed me Bill's Game 3 predictions:

I have 4 predictions tonight...

1. An absolute kick-ass game from Nate Robinson.
2. A good Lamar Odom game.
3. Perkins getting his 7th technical
4. Rondo going for a 17-12-12 at the least...

I'd like to make a fifth prediction: a big Paul Pierce game. He looks all kinds of jacked tonight. I've been watching the guy for 11 years, I can tell when he has "the look" or not and he has it tonight.

Uh...fail.

Tom Brady: I figured busting on "Tom Terrific" would make me feel better. Fuck you, Brady. As AnacondaHL put it: "Hey Brady, the teenage girl store called, they're wondering if you're available to cosplay as Justin Bieber."

You know, that kind of worked.

Labels: 2010 NBA Finals, Boston Celtics, Derek Fisher, Kobe Bryant, Los Angeles Lakers, Ray Allen

The Orlando Magic: The Magic swept their way through the first two rounds of the 2010 NBA playoffs. This included a four-game drubbing of the Charlotte Bobcats -- which they essentially did without Dwight Howard, who was plagued by foul trouble throughout the series -- and the laying of some historic smack down on the Atlanta "They Are Who We Thought They Were" Hawks.

This, of course, led to some drastic "mis-overestimation" of the Magic, who were boldly (and foolishly) proclaimed by many experts to be the best team in the playoffs. And yeah, I get that Orlando had won 14 straight games dating back to the regular season. Magic coach Stan Van Gundy wanted his team to be hot heading into the postseason, and he got his wish.

But...shouldn't people have realized that Orlando had two rounds of extremely good fortune? The kind of luck Ben Affleck had when he met Matt Damon and managed to jumpstart a long and crappy career -- have you seen Daredevil?! -- based on the success of Good Will Hunting. The Magic first faced an offense-free team that relied heavily on the shot jackery of Stephen Jackson. Re-read that sentence out loud. Then they drew a squad that had barely beaten the Andrew Bogut-less Milwaukee Bucks and featured an offense built around isolating an All-Star who's masquerading as a superstar.

I'm not saying the Magic weren't playing well -- they were -- but they hadn't faced a complete team yet, either. That should have been obvious, right? It was obvious to me. (In fact, I even said they were going to get a wakeup call in the ECFs.) And it was apparently obvious to the Celtics too...because they welcomed Orlando to the 2010 Eastern Conference Finals with a face punch.

The Celts had a game plan and they carried it out: Use single coverage on Dwight Howard, fouling him whenever necessary (and sometimes even when it was not)), and staying at home on his teammates. In essence, Boston's coaching staff said: "Dwight will have to beat us with his post moves. We can live with that."

Turns out it was a good plan.

The Magic set new 2010 postseason lows for points (88), field goal percentage (41.6), three-point field goal percentage (22.7) and assist-to-turnover ratio (18 TOs to only 10 assists on 32 field goals). Orlando was stuck on 14 points almost 17 minutes into the game. Their last field goal of the first quarter (a Vag Carter dunk) came at the 5:33 mark. Orlando didn't hit another shot (a Carter layup) until 7:35 was left in the second quarter.

During the regular season, the Magic set a new NBA record for three-pointers made. The Celtics were ready to make sure they didn't set any long-distance shooting marks in Game 1. Orlando went 0-for-9 in the first half and 5-for-22 for the game. Boston controlled the tempo and the score for most of the game, eventually going up by as many as 20 points. The Magic did make a strong fourth quarter run to make the final few minutes exciting...but other than that, the Celtics did pretty much whatever they wanted, stealing the game and home court advantage away from the supposedly unstoppable Magic.

Last but certainly not least, some careless ball handling by Orlando and some very active mitts (and no-calls from the officials) by the Celtics led to 18 Magic turnovers which turned into 21 bonus points for the Celtics. Oh, and the "old" Celtics outscored the well-rested Magic 20-6 in fastbreak points. Have you ever seen a healthy teenager get outrun by an 80-year-old man with a walker? Well, you saw the NBA equivalent of that yesterday.

Here's some more fun with numbers, courtesy of ESPN Stats & Information: The Magic hadn't lost since April 2, hadn't been held below 90 points since March 24, hadn't lost had home since March 14, hadn't had 18 turnovers since March 11, hadn't made 4 or fewer three-pointers since March 3, and hadn't had 10 or fewer assists since January 28.

Dwight Howard: You want to know the exact moment when I knew Howard was going to have a bad game? During the pregame show when they showed a clip of Howard's halftime interview with himself. That's right: Dwight, dressed as Clark Kent, actually interviewed himself as "Superman." I understand he's a fun dude and all that, but does that seem like something somebody who's totally focused on an upcoming playoff battle would do?

To quote myself from a few paragraphs ago, Boston's coaching staff went into Game 1 with the following philosophy: "Dwight will have to beat us with his post moves. We can live with that."

Kendrick Perkins, Big Baby and Rasheed Wallace took turns roughing up Howard -- they fouled him a total of nine times -- and harassed him into the following stat line: 13 points on 3-for-10 shooting to go along with 4 fouls, a game-high 7 turnovers and a game-low plus-minus score of -10. Only Matt Barnes (-14) had a worse plus-minus score.

Mind you, Howard had game-highs in rebounds (12) and blocks (5), but the Celtics contained his offense with surprising ease -- even when Baby was guarding him -- which caused Orlando's offense to break down until their fourth quarter run.

Said 'Sheed: "You've got to be physical. He plays physical. That's the one thing we looked at and seen over the last few series. Guys just let him do whatever he wanted to do. We're definitely going to fight him, we have a lot of fouls. I have my six, so do Baby [Glen Davis], Perk [Kendrick Perkins], Shelden [Williams], Kevin [Garnett]."

Pretty much, yeah. And that physical play started getting to Howard, who started trying to elbow and shove away his Celtic defenders. Only the shoving became the focus instead of a means to get open.

Said Dwight: "They're going to try to frustrate me and get into my head and play head games, and I have to do my best to maintain my focus. I got into a little wresting match with all their guys, and that's to their advantage. That takes me off my game."

Update! From TrueHoop, here's a video breakdown of Pumaman's rough night:


Rashard Lewis: Vince Carter's strong game -- a team-high 23 points on 9-for-18 shooting and some aggressive moves to the basket -- was offset by Rashard's Fiesta of the Bricks. Lewis went 2-for-10 from the field and 0-for-6 from downtown, finishing with only 6 points in 43 minutes. Mind you, scoring his is primary function. And it's not like the Celtics had any special "Rashard Rules" or anything. They just refused to leave him open and kept a hand in his face. That's it. That's all it took to shut Lewis down.

And this is where I remind everybody that Lewis was the 9th highest paid player in the league this season. Other notables in the top 10: Knee-Mac (1st), Jermaine "The Drain" O'Neal (3rd), Shaq (5th) and Michael Redd (10th). Also, Larry Hughes is 29th...just ahead of Chris Paul. As always, I'm just sayin'.

Update! Rasheed Wallace, quote machine: Thanks to Heretic for sending this one in: "A lot of them jump shots, the buttholes get tight."

Update! Almost forgot...Ray-Ray failed to block out tiny Jameer Nelson when Vince Carter intentionally missed a free throw with eight seconds left. Nelson strolled in for the putback, which cut Boston's lead to 90-88. Allen knocked in a couple freebies with six seconds left to widen the gap, but that play really could have cost the Celts the game.

Officiating: During the first quarter, Rajon Rondo drove to the basket and was very clearly whacked across the arm right in front of Dan Crawford. No call. Shortly thereafter, Jameer Nelson got semi-wrestled into a turnover that turned into two points going the other way. I understand "letting them play," but at times this game was chaos.

As Basketbawful reader Heretic said: "Loved the officiating. Just horrible calls all around. Fouls, illegal inbound passes, moving screens...the refs said 'Fuck it, its Thunderdome rules baby!'"

Phil Jackson: I know, I know. I titled this post "Worst of Game 1 of the 2010 Eastern Conference Finals," but I had to include some Worst of the Weekend-type stuff. Such as more of Phil Jackson's stupid mind games. His latest victim: Steve Nash.

Jackson had grinned when asked on Friday if it's tough for the Lakers to prepare to face Nash, the reigning NBA skills champion, because of the Suns guard's frenetic style.

"Yeah, because you can't carry the ball like he does in practice," Jackson said, making a gesture of palming the basketball. "You can't pick that ball up and run with it."

Asked Saturday in El Segundo at Lakers practice about Nash's comments, Jackson smiled and feigned innocence. "I didn't complain about it. Did you hear me complain about it?"

Steve Nash and the Suns, quote machine: Steve's response to Phil's latest anti-him volley:

"It's news to me. I'm fortunate. I don't know if I've been called for a carry yet," he said after the Suns practiced Saturday, then he added straight-faced: "I've never heard anyone accuse me of carrying it. I mean, the best coach in the league Gregg Popovich [of San Antonio] didn't have a problem with it last week."

Get it? Popovich the best coach in the league?

"We have the best officials in the world," Nash continued. "I'll just leave it up to them."

Here's Alvin Gentry's response:

"You guys got to admire Phil," Gentry said. "C'mon, the stuff that he throws out there, I mean I think it's great. He's very creative. There's a reason. But I think you've got to understand that there's kind of a method to his madness. If you let it affect you, then it will."

Gentry went on to praise Jackson for his ability to create championship chemistry on teams with great players, calling it "probably the toughest thing in the NBA to do."

He said the Suns weren't going to get drawn into what they consider Jackson's psychological ploy.

"How can we win that?" Gentry said. "We're not going to win that battle anyway."

But the Phoenix coach added a jab at the Lakers when he was asked jokingly if the team worked on ball handling skills.

"We spent the day ducking elbows on post-ups, to see if we could duck elbows on post-ups, " Gentry said, a not-to-thinly veiled nod to the Lakers' style. "So it all works out, it all works out."

And Amar''''''e: "Typical Phil."

Pretty much, yeah.

Shaq: Check it:

Cavaliers center Shaquille O'Neal is a free agent and wants to keep playing, the Cleveland Plain Dealer reported Friday.

The Cavaliers were eliminated by the Boston Celtics, 94-85, on Thursday night in Eastern Conference semifinals.

"I missed 360 games because of injury in my career, so by my calculations I still have 3.7 years left," O'Neal told the Plain Dealer. "That means I'm going to play until I'm 41. I've been here 17 years but I've missed a lot of games, so I still feel I can play this game."

O'Neal said he'd return to the Cavaliers but many things are up in the air, including the status of LeBron James and coach Mike Brown.

"There are a lot of free agents on the team," he told the newspaper. "We just have to sit back and I'm sure everybody's going to do what's best for them."

O'Neal missed the final six weeks of the regular season after tearing a ligament in his right thumb.

"I got injured, came back in better shape," O'Neal told the Plain Dealer. "I did everything they asked me to do."

You know, Shaq promised us he'd retire when he was "only as good as David Robinson." I'm still waiting for him to make good on that promise. Unfortunately, he's going to need a time machine to go back a few years when he was still as good as The Admiral.

By the way, I saw this SI cover at a grocery store near my house yesterday. It cracked my shit up to the point the old lady at the register didn't want to ring up my order.


Fresh on the newsstands! Next week: The Beatles...can they make it as a band? This is why the print media is dying a slow, shuddering death.

Lacktion report: And on the seventy day, chris reported lacktion:

Celtics-Magic: Kendrick Perkins trucked on with five fouls AND giveaways countering two field goals and boards each for a 10:6 Voskuhl in 26:02! Michael Finley found a way to finagle a portobello or two in 7 seconds for a SUPER MARIO!

In non-lacktive news, Pumaman scored a Dantley -- amazing enough considering he missed 5 of 12 attempts at the charity stripe...which is kinda bad when you lose by 4 after a furious fourth-quarter rally. Woops!

Labels: Boston Celtics, Dwight Howard, I want a Shaqintosh, Orlando Magic, Phil Jackson, Rashard Lewis, Ray Allen, Steve Nash

Note: Many thanks to Sturla for the graphic. I also used it for today's NBA Closer column on Deadspin.

Ahmad Rashad: I'm going to let Basketbawful reader Sami take this one. "I was watching 'Live at the Finals with Ahmad Rashad' on NBATV an hour before Game 4 began. Ahmad was interviewing Andy Garcia when he asked what I assume to be one of the dumbest sentences ever uttered, to go Bill Walton on you, in the history of Western Civilization: 'Do you think Kobe Bryant is the greatest Laker ever?' (My wording may not be spot on perfect, but that was the question.) Was Rashad even thinking when he asked the question? George Mikan, Jerry West, Elgin Baylor, Wilt Chamberlain (although he was older when he joined the Lakers), Kareem, James Worthy, Shaquille O'Neal, and probably some more that I'm forgetting. Oh, and I think I may have forgotten to mention that one guy...oh yeah! Magic Johnson! Kobe is a great scorer, in the discussion for Top 10 Lakers ever, and possibly Top 5 Lakers. But the greatest? I don't know what to say."

Wow. Me either. Inexcusable question (at this point). Here are my top five Lakers: Magic, Mikan, West, Kareem and Shaq, with Elgin Baylor sixth (thanks CW) and either Kobe or Worthy at number seven. Aw, screw it. Worthy's seventh. He has just as many titles (3) and a Finals MVP to boot (doesn't look like Mamba's getting a Finals MVP this year). And Big Game James never blistered his teammates the way Kobe has over the years.

The Celtics in the first quarter: My memory of it all is very, very blurry. I don't know the psychological term for it is, and I'm too lazy to look it up even though the Internet is only five fingers away. Let's just say I've blocked the details out. Trying to remember them is like trying to read stereo instructions through a dirty ashtray without my contacts on. Bad passes, worse shots, Rondo looking terrified of the ball. At some point, I think when the Lakers were up by 24, ABC flashed a graphic at the bottom of the screen that said the 21-point wound was the largest first-quarter deficit in NBA history. Thanks for making a bad situation feel even worse, ABC.

Random note on Rondo: He has officially become a liability and Doc should yank him out of the starting lineup. You know, a similar thing happened when the Boston Celtics were playing the Detroit Pistons in the 1991 Eastern Conference Semis. Brian Shaw was Boston's starting point guard at the time, and he wasn't just playing poorly, you could see his confidence was shot. Dee Brown, on the other hand, was playing great. But NBA head coaches are always really nervous about making major rotation changes during the playoffs, and Chris Ford was no different. So even though the Celtics were playing much better with Brown on the floor, he stuck with Shaw as the starter and Boston went on to lose the series in six.

And although I think that, at this point, the Celtics can still win with Rondo starting...why take the chance? Did you see Rajon's face when he got pulled in the second half? He had one of those thousand-yard stares going on. If I was on the Celtics, I wouldn't want somebody who looked like they were about to go Private Pyle on somebody running my team with a title on the line. This was the first time all season I thought all those "Matt Maloney on the 1996-97 Houston Rockets" comparisons were justified.

Right now, Boston's best lineup is KG, Paul Pierce, Ray Allen (back from the dead!), James Posey, and Eddie House. There's no question. Doc needs to go with that lineup and sub out (KA-POWE!!) when necessary. Am I wrong?

Boston's end-of-the-half defense: The second quarter was going about as well as I could have hoped. Boston had cut the Lakers' lead to a very reasonable 12 points (51-39) with under a minute to go when Doc Rivers took out Kevin Garnett. Now, I understand why he did it. He didn't want KG to pick up his third foul before the second half because he was going to need a full two quarters out of the DPoY if the Celtics were going to have a shot at winning this one. But almost immediately after KG went out Pau Gasol converted a three-point play. Lakers by 15.

Then, after Rondo hit one of two foul shots, Jordan Farmar ran unmolested three-fourths the length of the court and banked in a three-pointer as time expired. Mind you, Kobe had picked up his third foul and wasn't even on the floor at the time, so it's not like the Celtics were overplaying Mamba and that's why they gave up the shot. As Hubie Brown would say: You always have to stop the ball handler. Always, always, always. Boston didn't do that, and the Lakers killed their momentum and built their lead back to 17 by halftime. What a boner. Now I know how an ant feels when I accidentally sprinkle it with lighter fluid and set it on fire.

The Lakers in the second half: First of all, let me just say, I gave up on this game midway through the third. Yeah, I should have known better. I've been watching the NBA long enough to realize that every team makes a run. But Farmar's three at the half broke my spirit. With the Celtics still down by 20 points, I grabbed a book and went to take a dump. I tuned everything out, forgot about the game, and read a book about zombies.

About 15ish minutes later, I shuffled out of the bathroom like a zombie myself only to hear Mike Breen excitedly saying something like, "And the Celtics cut it to two!"

Huh?

Turns out Boston outscored L.A. 31-15 in the third quarter, and most of that happened during a huge 21-3 run in the final five minutes of the third...during which I was making a donation to the children of Crapistan. I couldn't believe I missed all that, but it's not totally unprecedented. The exact same thing happened in 2007 when the Indianapolis Colts made an historic comeback against the New England Patriots. I walked away from that one, too, only to come back later and find out my team was back in the game. Yes, yes...I truly was the difference in both situations.

But despite Boston's debt management, I still wasn't sold. Teams that have to claw their way back from ginormous deficits on the road rarely have enough to get over the hump at the end (see the Lakers in Game 2). Plus, the Lakers are coached by a Zen Mastery, Hall of Fame coach. As Breen's bleating voice kept reminding me, they also have the best closer in the game in Kobe Bryant. How could the Celtics possibly do this?

This is how: Perkins (bum shoulder) and Rondo (missing confidence) were out, Posey and House were in. Suddenly, instead of having only three scorers on the floor, the Celtics had five. Whether Doc made this decision consciously or whether injuries forced his hand, we may never know. But the Lakers defense -- which really isn't all that good -- appeared to be helpless when forced to cover five capable shooters. This was never more apparent than when Ray Allen walked by Sasha Vujacic for a reverse layup with 20 seconds left, essentially clenching the game. Oh, and it's not like Ray-Ray was fresh; he played all 48 minutes last night.

For your viewing pleasure, here's Sasha -- who shot 1-for-9 last night -- throwing a post-ego-ectomy hissy fit on the L.A. bench. This made me almost as happy as seeing Derek Fisher crying after the Spurs eliminated the Lakers back in '03. Almost.


From Basketbawful reader socalsun: "Regarding that clip of Sasha lashing out at his own team staffer -- that's the sort of thing you get from the Kobe 'curse you publicly for your mistakes' Bryant school of leadership." Speaking of the Mamba...

Kobe Bryant: You guys knew this was coming, right? Kobe was the shining star of last night's Epic Failure. He didn't score in the first half. He finished the game with 17 points on 6-for-19 shooting (although he did have 10 assists). And he was completely unable to impose his will on the game in the fourth quarter, which is his supposed specialty. And let's face it: This isn't a one-game aberration. Mamba has not impressed during the 2008 Finals. He was kinda-sorta spectacular only once: In Game 3. Well, once and a fourth if you count the final quarter of Game 2.

Now, I've been taking heat for ragging on Kobe for years. But here's the thing: I've never denied his greatness. Nor have I failed to give proper respect to his ability to score the basketball. To me, he's among the league's five all-time great scorers (with Wilt Chamberlain, Michael Jordan, Kareem Abdul-jabbar and Karl Malone). My arguments against Mamba have been that he has often been a lousy teammate (there's just no reasonable way to deny this), sometimes lapses into selfishness (although he's been better about that this year than he ever has), ultimately trusts no one but himself (and that's the bleeping truth), and -- SHOCK ALERT!! -- he probably isn't the greatest player of all time.

And you know what? There's no "probably" to it. He's not. The comparisons to Michael Jordan need to stop. Hell, they've needed to stop for almost a decade now. Kobe is not Mike. He will never be Mike. How is this not obvious? Why does this subject come up year after year after year? Let me put it this way: Had Jordan's Bulls been up by 24 points at home in a must-win game in the NBA Finals, do you think there's any way in hell the Bulls would have lost the game? No. Freaking. Way.

And this isn't me hating on Kobe. I'm not being subjective when I say he didn't come through last night. He failed. Imagine if Dirk Nowitzki stumbled in the Finals the way Kobe did last night? Actually, scratch that. Dirk already did it, and he was absolutely crucified for it. Which was unfair then, and it would be unfair now. I'm not suggesting we string Kobe up for losing a big game, because that's happened to many great players before him and it'll happen to many great players after him. But this game should be Exhibits A through Z that Kobe Bryant is Kobe Bryant...and not Michael Jordan.

Update! Stephanie G reminded me about P.J. Brown's dunk on Kobe, which totally reminded me of Kevin Willis' putback slam on Shaq when the Spurs knocked out the Lakers in '03. Here's the video:


Kobe Bryant, quote machine: Paul Pierce specifically asked to guard Kobe in the second half. And, all things considered, he did a damn fine job of it. But when asked about Pierce's D, Kobe was immediately dismissive. "There's no difference [from Ray Allen's defense]. They were determined not to let me beat them tonight. I saw three, four bodies every time I touched the ball." Yes, the Celtics gave help, just like every team in the league has done against Kobe for his entire career. But that's a pretty lame excuse. The fact is, Pierce did a fantastic job of containing and contesting Kobe, and getting help when necessary. Not that I expect Kobe to admit it, but that's what I saw.

But here was Mamba's best post-game quote, in reference to a question about how he would deal with the loss: "Whine about it tonight. Lot of wine...lot of beer...a couple shots...maybe like 20 of 'em... digest it, get back to work. Nothing you can do." Here's the second-best: "We wet the bed. A nice big one, too. One of the ones you can't put a towel over. It was terrible." I've got to admit, that was awesome. Here's the full video from Kobe's press conference.


Update! Random extra: I got the following text this morning from my buddy Craig (who's a huge Lakers fan) from The Association: "I took Kobe's advice and tried about 20 shots...it's worse the next day." To which I replied: "Wow. Then you must have hit more of your shots than Kobe hit of his." His response: "Haha...very hung over. Enjoy it." I will.

Phil Jackson: After the loss, the Zen Master was stunned by typically defiant. "Some turnaround in that game. The air went out of the building. Well, it's not over. This is not over. The series is not over." Technically speaking, no. And sure, anything can happen. The Lakers could come back. But...well, I'm not going to say anything. Anyway, let it be known that Doc Rivers -- who has taken a lot of heat in the press and was recently referred to as the worst coach to ever call plays in the NBA Finals -- thoroughly out-thunk Jackson the Great last night. Phil should stuff that in his peace pipe and smoke it. Maybe he'll have a vision about how to hold onto a 24-point lead.

Fun with photos: Got the following e-mail from Rob of Upside and Motor: "Saw these and my first thought was Basketbawful: Lamar Odom is great at layups. People in LA make signs that make sense. I promise. And Rick Fox shooting us all a very sultry look through the camera." True, true and true.

David Stern: This pretty much sums it up. And so does this.

Update! Advanced stats: Basketbawful reader Mike pointed this out. Tony Allen played two minutes and 15 seconds. He had 1 rebound and was zero for everything else. Yet he had a +/- score of +10. Which was better than Paul Pierce (+9) and Ray Allen (+6). So I guess he was better than either of those guys. Right, Mr. Lenovo?

Update! The Hollywood elite: They may spend most of the game trapped in a money-and-fame-induced stupor, but -- as Yahoo's Ball Don't Lie has shown us -- they sure got pretty weepy when their team pulls the biggest choke job in NBA Finals history.

Update! Me: Okay. I'm ready to admit it. I was wrong. Posey does not suck. That is all.

Labels: Boston Celtics, Epic Fail, Kevin Garnett, Kobe Bryant, Los Angeles Lakers, NBA Finals, Phil Jackson, Ray Allen, Sasha Vujacic, Worst of the Night

Pucker up, Ray! Your jump shot may be cheating on you with Jason Kapono, but Lindsey Hunter has something special for you: It's called the anatomical juxtaposition of two orbicularis oris muscles in a state of contraction. Which is just Einstein speak for kissy-face.

Mucho thankias to Karl for sending in this mantastic photo.

Labels: fan submissions, kissing, Lindsey Hunter, man love, Ray Allen

Boston Celtics: The Leprechauns were playing at home, where they had been virtually unbeatable since November (and completely unbeatable in the playoffs). Kevin Garnett played big (24 points, 11-for-19, 13 rebounds, 2 blocked shots). Paul Pierce was The Truth (26 points, 9-for-16, 4 rebounds, 5 assists). And Ray Allen even broke out of his three-month-long slump (25 points, 9-for-16). And...they lost anyway. Now they have to win a road game, which suddenly seems like Mission Impossible.

The worst part is: Boston really didn't play all that badly (well, minus some defensive slipups and Doc Rivers letting Ray Allen get into foul trouble, and that unforgivable boner on the Pistons' inbounds play with 20 seconds left). Detroit was just better. And that's got to be depressing if you're a Celtics fan. (Like me.)

Rajon Rondo: The kid had a decent game. Hell, he almost had a triple-double (10 points, 9 rebounds, 8 assists, 3 steals). But his shooting returned to liability status (2-for-9) and he couldn't contain Chauncey Billups (19 points, 5-for-10, 7 assists).

The Boston bench: Holy 1986-87 flashback! Where's Darren Daye when you really need him? The Celtic reserves combined to play about 55 minutes. In that time, they scored 8 points on 3-for-11 shooting, grabbed 5 rebounds, dished 2 assists, and committed 5 fouls. Rodney Stucky came off the Pistons bench and had more points (13), assists (3) and steals (2) by himself.

I mean, check it. P.J. Brown had 4 points and 2 boards in 18 minutes. James Posey scored 3 points on 1-for-5 shooting. Eddie House had -- as Basketbawful reader Eimaan pointed out -- one of those Catch-and-Shoot-22 nights (zero points, 0-for-3, 1 foul, 7 minutes). Big Baby Davis needed his binky (1 point, 1 foul, zero-for-everything-else). Tony Allen had 1 fouls and 1 missed shot in 4 minutes. And Leon KA-Powe had 2 boards in 2 minutes.

The home crowd: As Basketbawful reader Charles pointed out: "Don't you think the Boston fans should be in the WotN? No noise whatsoever in the final minutes. Was it me? I just didn't hear them during the game or even when Ray Allen made that three in the end or when Rasheed Wallace was shooting those free throws." No. It wasn't just you. They seemed to lose faith at the end. And let me tell you, it sure wasn't like that back when Larry Legend was playing. Personally, I blame Tom Brady and his boytoy for sucking the life out of the crowd.

Doc Rivers, public relations master: The Celtics coach used the spin cycle to make it sound as if losing at home might actually be a good thing for his team. "I fully believe, and I've said it many times, at some point we're going to have to win on the road. We've gotten away with it thus far. That's been taken away. And if we want what we want, we have to win on the road and that's just the way it is."

Doc Rivers, blasphemer: Doc boned things pretty well in the third quarter by leaving Ray Allen in the game after he picked up his fourth foul. Shortly thereafter, Ray-Ray picked up number five and got some extended bench time. But Doc wasn't ready to take all the blame unto himself. "It's sometimes the basketball gods. Things are going pretty well and then he picks up his fourth and fifth. I took a gamble on it and actually lost."

Rasheed Wallace, quote machine: After the game, 'Sheed had this to say: "[The series] is even. We don't sit back and say, 'Oh, look. They are undefeated at home,' or 'They didn't win a game on the road.' A lot of teams they played in the postseason and regular season were scared of them, as far as KG and Ray and Paul. They are good players, but we have good players, also." As Dread commented on my NBA Closer column, "When did /Sheed start talking like a balding, portly white guy?"

Rip Hamilton, quote machine: The Phantom of Auburn Hills explained the advice he gave Mr. Big Shot before the game. "One thing I told Chaunce [sic], you ain't got to be overaggressive out there. You can take your time and be the captain of our ship, and we'll try to do a good job of helping you out." I don't know. That quote just made me laugh. I think Rip should buy Chauncey one of those big admiral hats and maybe a rubber ducky. Okay, I'm done.

The Detroit bench: Take away Rodney Stucky's production and clutch shots, and Detroit's reserves were just as sucktastic as Boston's. Theo Ratliff 4 fouls and 2 boards in 14 minutes of lack-tion. Lindsey Hunter had 4 points and 2 assists in relief. Jason Maxiell was 1 personal foul away from a four trillion. And let's not forget...

Arron Afflalo: He played 12 seconds last night. It was his second straight mario (not counting DNP-CDs), and his third of the playoffs.

Labels: bench play, Boston Celtics, Detroit Pistons, Kevin Garnett, NBA playoffs, Paul Pierce, Rajon Rondo, Ray Allen, Worst of the Night

Note: This letter is a response to Ray Allen's love letter to his long lost jump shot, as dictated to Basketbawful reader Justin.

Dear Ray,

I'm sorry I have to break it to you this way, but really, I think it's best to be honest after all we've been through.

I'm leaving you.

Actually, I left you. For Jason Kapono. Before you say anything, yeah, I know. He'll never be the player you were, he'll never be able to carry a team, he'll never really be able to actually dribble, but man! Have you seen his hair? The moment I did, I was infatuated. Every morning I'd wake up with you, ol' balding Ray-Ray, a little past his prime and I'd fantasize, Ray, I really would. I know I should have said something before I left but I didn't want to hurt you. I hope we can remain the best of friends. I'll invite you to the wedding.

Sincerely,

Kapono's Jump Shot

Labels: fan submissions, man love, Ray Allen

Dear My Jump Shot,

Hey, baby. It's me. Your wittle itty Walter Ray bear. It's been so long since I've seen you, baby. So damned long.

Look, I don't know why you walked out on me or where you went. Maybe you're rotting in a dumpster somewhere in Dorchester or Roxbury. Maybe you're chained in a dark basement, all wearing a leather hood and getting regular colonoscopies from some dude named Zed. I don't know. I kind of hope it's one of those two things, because I'd hate to think you left me on your own. Your brutal death and/or abduction and torture would sure make me feel a lot better about myself.

I know times have been tough. I don't stroke you as often as I did in Seattle. I know that. But Baby, times change. We aren't 19 anymore. I can't be strokin' you 20-25 times a night. But those 10-12 times, well, they're quality. Hey, it's more meaningful when you've got to cherish each one, you know?

Look. I'm gonna put it all on the line here. I need you. I need you now more than I ever have. I heard KG and Truth talking when they thought I was going through my pregame routine for the fourth time (little did they know I had already gone through it twice before they even got to the Garden). They're considering kicking me out of The Big Three. Kicking me out! Is that what you want to happen? Would that make you happy?

Don't do this to me, baby. Don't do this to us. Come back. Please.

Yours, body and soul,

Ray

P.S. I had some dude named "Buck Nasty" take this picture. As you can see, I'm wearing that sweater you got me for our 79-month anniversary.

Labels: fan submissions, jump shot, man love, Ray Allen

Chauncey Billups: He turned in an Eric-Snow-in-his-prime game: 9 points (3-for-6), 2 rebounds, 2 assists, 2 turnovers, 2 steals and a foul in 31 minutes. Moreover, he was clearly outplayed by the previously slumping Rajon Rondo (11 points, 5-for-9, 7 assists, 5 steals). I don't know whether it was the layoff, the Boston defense, or his injured hamstring -- or maybe a combination of all three? -- but Billups didn't show the kind of aggressiveness I would have expected. I thought he'd attack the basket and put a little more pressure on Rondo. Next game, maybe?

Rasheed Wallace: First off, 'Sheed had his struggles on the offensive end: 11 points on 3-for-12 shooting, including 0-for-3 from downtown. The only time it seems to be okay to have more shots than points is if you're Allen Iverson, and Rasheed is no Allen Iverson. But in all honesty, 'Sheed's offense -- in this series at least -- is far less important than his defense. Which, as it happens, was similarly pooptastic: KG lit him up for a game-high 26 points on 11-for-17 shooting while also grabbing 9 rebounds and handing out 4 dimes.

But before you start blaming rust, know ye now that Rasheed was likewise owned by The Big Ticket during the regular season. As I pointed out in the preview I wrote for Deadspin, KG played as well or better against the Pistons and 'Sheed's D than he did against any other team, to the tune of 24 PPG, 54 percent shooting, and 7.7 RPG. For some reason, this makes no sense to me whatsoever. I would figure that, if anybody could do it, that Rasheed would put the clamps on KG.

Rip Hamilton: I love retelling the story of how Rip once said: "I know before I get the ball if the shot is going in or not." Why do basketball players make ridiculous statements like that? It would be like some idiot saying that this year's Lakers team is the best squad Kobe Bryant's ever been on. Oh, wait. Anyway, either Rip was slightly overstating things or somebody removed his Nostradamus gene (and maybe his kidney!) in his sleep last night, because The Phantom of Auburn Hills missed eight of his 13 shot attempts.

Theo Ratliff: Remember when he was all talking trash to Rashard Lewis and the Magic? That was his high point of the postseason. Since then, it's all been downhill like an out-of-control yellow snowball. Last night's Herculean performance was more like The Three Stooges Meet Hercules, or maybe Hercules In New York: 2 fouls and zero-for-everything-else in just under four minutes. On the bright side, he had a better +/- score (+4) than any of the Detroit starters. By far.

The Zoo Crew: Ah, the Pistons bench is so deep...it's unfathomable! Ha, ha! I vill be here all ze week. But seriously, the Zoo Crew -- Amir Johnson, Arron Afflalo, Jarvis Hayes, Jason Maxiell, and Rodney Stuckey -- played more like the Get Along Gang last night. They combined for 11 points, 7 rebounds, 2 assists, and 3 DNP-CDs. And even that's deceiving, since 9 of the points came from Stuckey, and both assists came from Mad Maxiell. (How did Stuckey, the backup point guard, finish with zero assists?) The other dudes spent the game shining the pine and passing out Gatorade. Which, don't get me wrong, is totally important. Gotta keep those starters hydrated.

Update! The Etroit defense: I'm an idiot sometimes. I wrote about this in today's NBA Closer column and then totally forgot about it for WotN. But, as always, Wild Yams was here to remind me: "I honestly did not see that coming last night. Take out the huge FT advantage for the Pistons in the first half and they basically got routed. They pointed this out after the game, but the Pistons' vaunted defense surrendered 52.2% shooting to the Celtics, and the C's outscored Detroit 44-22 in the paint. If the Pistons can't D up any better than that, they're gonna lose this series for sure. I was gonna say they'd get swept if they continued to D up like that, but then I remembered what Boston's looked like on the road in these playoffs." It's all true. And somewhat mystifying. Rust can affect jump shots, but it shouldn't affect defense, which is mostly a product of effort and concentration.

Flip Saunders, quote machine: The Flipster did some verbal gymnastics while trying to explain why his team looked so out of synch last night. "It wasn't a matter of rust as we had too many mental mistakes. We weren't in the right situations on some offensive sets. We weren't in the right situations on some defensive rotations. When you do that, it messes up the whole team and the whole team looks a step slow." Now, I forget...who's supposed to get the Pistons in the right situations on offense and defense?

Ray Allen: Can we even call what Ray-Ray's going through a "slump" anymore? His jump shot is more cadaverous than Hugh Hefner. I think it's safe to announce the time of death and arrange the funeral. I wonder of Paul Bearer is available to give the eulogy...


Update! Here's some extra observation from Stephanie G: "Surreal moment of Game 1: Ray Allen passing to Rajon Rondo for the wide open three. I'm pretty sure most people had this play reversed when it came to imagining how the playoffs would go a couple months ago. But isn't it beautiful to watch the Boston crowd cringe every time Ray Allen looks like he may be attempting an actual jump shot? And each time the release looks so smooth, so graceful...and when it doesn't even hit the rim the crowd's nervous energy is palpable and I'm just watching it on TV. I think Ray-Ray is starting to get mind fucked by his own fans. I sensed it during the Cavs series and it has to be a mental block by this point. Lean, pure shooters like this are supposed to last forever, right? Allen has to be getting the worst stage fright imaginable everytime he gets a wide open look. Poor guy."

Tony Allen: Hmm, only 25 seconds of PT? Swing your arms from side to side, come on, it's time to go...do the mario! [/Super Mario Bros. Super Show]

Sam Cassell: DNP-CD. E.T. spent seven months trying to get bought out by the Clippers for this?! He and Mighty Mouse need to form a championship piggyback support group.

Bill Belichick, dirty perv: Wow. How many things are wrong with the following picture? The fact that Bill showed up to the Celtics game with the woman he cheated on his wife with, Sharon Shennoca? That Shennoca looks like she could be a Batman super villain named Mistress Mummy or maybe Fraulein Leatherface? That his son (?) looks like he's hopped up on Vicodin? That Jay and Silent Bob's posse are seated behind them? I mean, jeez, take your pick.


Oh, and Ms. Shenocca? I suggest you use some of your super mummy powers on Mr. Bill, because he's got eyes on a couple younger hotties. And the dancer on the right has to be thinking something that rhymes with "flirty mold pan."


Mike D'Antoni: First of all, holy crap! The Bulls got the first pick in the NBA draft! Sure, they could have sucked the chrome off of R2D2's robo-schlong last season, but little did we know they were losing with purpose. Boo-ya, baby! Now, Mike D'Antoni have been a part of that, could have started a whole new generation of Fun-N-Gun in Chicago, but nooooooooo. He went for the $$ and decided to take the helm of the Good Ship Knickerbocker. Good call, Mikey Boy. Good call.

And his "I just swallowed a big turd" reaction when the Knicks got the sixth pick? Pure, undistilled rad. As Basketbawful reader Jin put it: "I signed on this morning to see the Bulls won the draft lottery with something like a 1.7% chance of doing so, and the first thing I thought to myself was: 'Oh shit, D'antoni's gotta be pissed.' My friend hit me with this incredibly awesome picture within seconds of that (see below). I dunno if you've seen it before, but it's all five flavors of awesome. I think the fact that D'antoni kind of looks like the Monopoly Man adds to the humor or his tight lipped grimace." Yup, yup, and yup. Go directly to jail Madison Square Garden, Mike. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200. Do not get a chance to be happy ever again.

Labels: Bill Belichick, Boston Celtics, Chauncy Billups, Detroit Pistons, Flip Saunders, Mike D'Antoni, NBA playoffs, Rasheed Wallace, Ray Allen, Rip Hamilton, Worst of the Night, Zoo Crew

The Boston offense: The Celtics shot 38 percent from the field and 3-for-14 from beyond the arc. Now, without doubt, this was in large part due to the Cleveland defense. But...it's also because Doc Rivers' offensive schemes are slow, plodding and predictable. And, as Charles Barkley pointed out after the game, the Celtics walk it up the court -- slowly -- and their main players are all jump shooters, so they rarely get easy baskets. Especially in the late stages of hard-nosed, defensive games.

Another big problem is actually a function of Boston's unselfish share-the-ball philosophy. Since they never run the offense primarily through any one player, none of their money shooters ever get on a big roll. When was the last time, for instance, that Paul Pierce went off for 40 points? If Doc senses one of his big guns is slumping, he'll run a handful of plays to try and get that player going, but it rarely lasts beyond one quarter. As a result, there's no real continuity and all of Boston's end-of-game possessions feel awkward and forced. Which, again, is in part attributable to the opposing defense. But it's also because the Celtics don't have an offense that creates easy, open shots for their players...and their players can't create them on their own.

The Big Three: Kevin Garnett, Paul Pierce and Ray Allen all got shut down last night. KG scored only 2 points in the second half...and zero points in the fourth. Ray Allen shot 4-for-10 and once again struggled mightily to even get open, especially during his scoreless fourth quarter. Paul Pierce dropped 6 points in the final period, but he finished the game with 13 points on 17 shots. As Sir Charles -- and Evil Ted -- noted, it's probably past time to stop referring to these guys as The Big Three. Larry, Kevin and Robert earned that title, so let's make the new kids on the block earn it before we give it back to them.

LeBron James' shooting: King James had a strong game -- 21 points, 6 rebounds, 13 assists, 3 steals, 2 blocked shots -- and he took over in the fourth quarter, dropping dimes, hitting a dagger three and dropping a dunkbomb on KG (more on that below). But his shooting is awful, even by our ultra-low standards. Let me put it this way: He was 7-for-20 last night, and he actually improved his shooting average for the series (to 26 percent). If I was LeBron's teammate, I'd be afraid to touch the ball after him; there's no telling whether his shooting disease is contagious.

Kevin Garnett's potty mouth: The Big Ticket had some not-so-nice words for the Cavaliers and their fans. And TNT was nice enough to let us read his lips in slo-mo. (From Odenized.)


Gloria James: Ah, moms. They will do the craziest things -- and I do mean craziest -- to stand up for their sons. Even going so far as to go crazy on professional athletes during a nationally televised broadcast. Which is kind of embarrassing for LeBron, but great for this site. (Also from Odenized.)


LeBron James' potty mouth: Okay, yes: His mom got a little spaztastic, but did LeBron really need to dress her down in such a strong fasion? I mean does he kiss his mom with that mouth?


Said LeBron: "I told her to sit down, in some language I shouldn't have used. Thank God today wasn't Mother's Day. All I could think about is her. I know my mother. It's fine, we're good." Maybe. But I'm guessing Gloria is going to get a couple dozen boquets of roses delivered to her today...

LeBron the Monster: This is from Basketbawful reader Jin."I was watching the top plays over at NBA.com, and on number number one they naturally have LeBron dunking over KG toward the end of Game 4. I'm not sure which TNT announcer it was (maybe Doug Collins?), but someone suddenly blurts out 'LEBRON JAMES WITH NO REGARD FOR HUMAN LIFE!!!' I don't know if that's the best or the worst call I've ever heard, but I laughed for about 10 minutes straight." I'm pretty sure that was Kevin Harlan. But yes, the call redefined awesome. Go ahead and listen for yourself.


Update! Jin had a little something to add to this: "My apologies. Apparently it was Kevin Harlan, and after doing a little research, apparently he coined the phrase in fun back when the Timberwolves sucked. I don't know if this is common knowledge or not, but I had never heard it before until now. Quite ironic that it ends up being used for Lebron, against KG though." Indeed it is. It's like 10,000 spoons when all you need is knife...or maybe a song about irony that has nothing to do with actual irony.

The Boston bench: The "Green Team" got outscored 36-17 their Cleveland counterparts, and it would have been even worse without P.J. Brown and his 8 points (4-for-4). The non-Browns scored 9 points on 0-for-10 shooting. I wonder if they accidentally drank some Gatorade after LeBron or something.

ESPN.com: According to The Letters, Boston should have been eliminated from the postseason already. I mean, they just suffered their fifth straight playoff loss. Thanks to Scott B for the head's up.


The Associated Press: This little nugget came from the AP recap of last night's game: "The Cavaliers were awed by James' stuff." Thank you for that, Mr. Tom Withers, AP Sports Writer.

Crazy commentary: There were a couple of items that were unintentionally omitted from Worst of the Weekend because my buddy Statbuster was filling in for me (and he did a kickass job, if I must fluff him myself). The first is the latest Reggie-ism, courtesy of Lipsome123. "I'm sure you just heard him say that 'You don't put Robbert Horry in as a flower dressing.' I love that man." I love him too, but he is no man. He is a god.

The second is from Jimmy P. "During the 4th quarter (I think) of the Lakers/Jazz game on Sunday, as Hubie was talking about the contributions of Matt Harpring and Paul Millsap, he said that both guys help the Jazz greatly by 'banging it on both ends,' which was TMI for me." Personally, I think it was just enough information, but maybe that's just me.

Labels: bad offense, Boston Celtics, Cleveland Cavaliers, Kevin Garnett, Lebron James, Paul Pierce, Ray Allen, Reggie Miller

Okay. Let me preface this post by saying that I doubts that I'd be able to do a full WotN entry with only one game on the slate. But man oh man...this particular game came through in spades.

Cleveland Cavaliers: They scored only 72 points, shot 30 percent from the field, committed 17 turnovers, and added to their the all-time worst record in Game 1 road games (0-for-14). Yay, team.

Boston Celtics: They scored only 76 points, had more turnovers (21) than assists (18), and barely beat the Cavaliers in Boston on a night when LeBron James had the worst game of his career (more on that below). That's a pretty bad sign, right?

LeBron James: Poor LeBron. On the same day the King found out that he finished a distant fourth in MVP voting, he went out and had the worst game of his NBA career: 12 points, 2-for-18 shooting, 10 turnovers. He scored only 2 points in the second half and missed his last six shots. He also was one assist or rebound away from the shameful triple bumble (as several of you quickly pointed out).

And with all due respect to the Celtics defense...Bron-Bron was just flat-out bonking shots and tricking layups. And he knew it. "I missed a lot of shots I know I can make. I missed layups. Those layups I've made my whole life." (That's right, boys and girls; LeBron came out of the womb hitting layups.)

Fun fact #1: The stat checkers at ESPN.com compiled a list of LeBron's four worst shooting performances. Last night's was the worst, followed by a 3-for-20 performance against the Sixers on March 18, 2005; a 2-for-13 night against the Clippers on December 3, 2003; and another 2-for-13 brickeroo on February 11, 2004. Note that those last two games happened during LeBron's rookie year and none of them occurred during the playoffs.

Fun fact #2: Sorry, ESPN. You missed one. Fortunately, Yahoo caught it. The worst shooting night of LeBron's career came on December 29, 2004 against the Houston Rockets, when he went 0-for-5 in 17 minutes. However, there were circumstances. Said LeBron: "I fractured my cheekbone."

Kevin Garnett, quote machine: KG was the only player who truly played well last night (although Zydrunas Ilgauskas came pretty close). Garnett -- who came in third in MVP voting -- had 28 points (13-for-23), 8 rebounds, 3 assists and 2 steals in nearly 40 minutes. More importantly, though, he hit a clutch shot with 22 seconds left to break a 72-72 tie and put the Celtics up for good. So much for KG shrinking from the big moments, eh?

But here was how Garnett described last night's celebration of suck: "This was two heavyweights, just body-punching. There was no finesse, no jabs, just an all-out, beat-down, defensive fight." Uh, if you say so, KG. If you say so. And toxic sludge really is good for you...

Wally Szczerbiak: Wally World outscored and outshot LeBron James! And while that would normally be cause for celebration, last night was a definite exception. Szczerbiak missed his first five shots en route to a 13-points, 5-for-14 shooting night. Which once again raises the question: How, exactly, was he an upgrade over Larry Hughes?

Ray Allen: Can we have Ray-Ray digitally removed from He Got Game? Because last night's lack-tion would certainly justify it: Zero points, 0-for-4, and 4 turnovers in 37 minutes. Memo to the MVP voters: Remember how you unjustly disqualified KG because his team was "too good"? I hope you watched this game and wet your pants with shame.

Delonte West: Where's Eric Snow when you need him? West scored 4 points (2-for-10), had more fouls (3) than assists (2), and threw the ball away twice. Not a bad night's work, eh? Actually, yes it is.

Paul Pierce: Remember that post on TrueHoop about Truth's rivalry with LeBron? If not, then go read it. Anyway, their personal competition has gotten so heated that apparently if LeBron sucks, Paul is going to try and suck more. Let's here it for one-downsmanship! Pierce scored 4 points, shot 2-for-14, had his shot fed back to him twice, committed a team-high 6 turnovers, and had Boston's worst +/- score (-14). And he wasn't the least bit embarrassed about it.

"Me and Ray, we figure if we play [LeBron] to a standstill...we give ourselves the best chance. He's not going to go 2-for-18 every game but, hey, we're going to do our best to try to make him." So in one fell swoop Pierce took co-credit for LeBron's craptacular game and justified his and Ray Allen's sucktasticness. Wow. The only thing missing was a megalomaniacal declamation:


Anderson Varejao: And here, my friends, is Exhibit V in the case against ridiculous contract holdouts. Sideshow Bob -- who was so instrumental in Cleveland's run to the Finals last season, by the way -- was so ineffective you'd think he was getting paid to not play: 1 point, 0-for-1, 1 rebound, zero assists, 2 steals, and zero blocked shots in 11 minutes. Cap killer, anyone?

Glen Davis: Big Baby played like an actual baby last night, accomplishing exactly nothing in four diaper-filling minutes. That's right. I'm talking about a four trillion. (And no, that's not a fat joke. Although it could be.)

Mike Brown: Any good coach -- or in Brown's case, even a bad coach -- is going to get his star player's back. But Brown took that to a kind of ridiculous length last night. "[LeBron] had a tough night, and he is entitled to it." I'm sorry, but...what?! Since when did players start earning entitlement to horrific performances in critical playoff games? I'm sorry, Mike, but there's no such thing as a Get Out Of Sucking Free card.

Zydrunas Ilgauskas: Z-Man was the only Cavalier who registered a pulse last night (22 points, 12 rebounds), but he also stepped on Sam Cassell and "inadvertently" kicked him in the head. Sorry. I've played enough basketball and stepped over enough clumsy players to know that stuff rarely ever happens on accident.

Labels: Anderson Varejao, Boston Celtics, Cleveland Cavaliers, Kevin Garnett, Lebron James, NBA playoffs, Paul Pierce, Ray Allen, Wally Szczerbiak, Worst of the Night

Basketbawful reader Jesse provided a nice little follow-up to the Duncan face post. The following video proves that the Duncan face is, in fact, a contagious disease...and all the Spurs have it. Hmm. It might be time to quarantine the greater San Antonio area before this thing spreads.


And just to prove I'm a good sport -- and an equal-opportunity cynic -- here are a few Duncan face copycats:

1. The "Gah! A giant spider is eating Shaq!" face. Because that foul was pretty freaking blatant, and now I have to watch a mutant insect crush Shaq in its enormous mandibles. [Also from Jesse.]


2. The "Don't you know who I am?!" face. Because I'm LeBron James, bitch! [From Shrugz.]


3. The "Du verdammter Arschficker! Ich bin ein Berliner!" face. Because I really am a jelly doughnut, complete with a thin, doughy outside and a thick, gooey inside. [From anne.]


The rest of these are from The Spurs Report:

4. The Sheed face. Because he was doing it long before Duncan was. And that's Guaran-sheed.


5. The "I've grown a second, evil head!" face. Because oh my God, IT'S ALIVE!! (And it looks just like Kevin Garnett. Huh. That's pretty weird.)


6. The "Ray-Ray don't play that!" face. Because he really doesn't play that. Never. Not even once.


7. The "I'm gonna rip the eyes out of your head and piss into your dead skull! You f***ed with the wrong Marine!" face. Because Popovich can be kinda scary.

Labels: Brad Miller, Dirk Nowitzki, fan submissions, funny faces, Gregg Popovich, Kevin Garnett, Lebron James, Rasheed Wallace, Ray Allen, San Antonio Spurs, Steve Nash, Tim Duncan

"Hey Eddy, I'd play you more minutes,but you're fat...you know, like this."
Sacramento Kings: Expecations for the Kings aren't exactly high right now, considering that they're missing their three best players (Kevin Martin, Mike Bibby, and Ron Artest). However, there are losses and then there are heartbreaking losses. The Kings had their hearts broken twice in a winless weekend. On Friday night, they outshot the Cavaliers 55 percent to 38, but they negated their hot shooting by committing 22 turnovers and giving up 23 points to Cleveland's bench in the fourth quarter of the four-point loss. On Saturday night, they lost by one point on a Ben Wallace freethrow, which would have been humiliating enough, but Wallace then got away with wacking Brad Miller's hand on the Kings' last-second shot.

Chris Duhon: Is he in a shooting slump? Well, let's put it this way: He's hit only one field goal in 21 attempts over his last four games, including Saturday's 0-for-7 performance against the Kings. He's also 0-for-14 from three-point range in that stretch.

Jason Collins: Wednesday night's 10-point explosion must have taken something out of him, because he returned to form over the weekend: Zero points (0-for-1) and 3 rebounds in 23 minutes of "action" over two games.

Ray Allen: The Memphis Grizzlies are the second worst defensive team in the league in terms of points per game (104.3) and the third worst in terms of opponents' field goal percentage ( 46.9), yet they somehow held Allen to 2 points on 0-for-9 shooting (including 0-for-3 from downtown). The next night he was better, but barely, in scoring 9 points (on 3-for-8 shooting) against the Pistons.

Rajon Rondo: The Celtics' supposed Achilles' heel was just that this weekend. He scored 4 points (2-for-9) against the Grizzlies and 3 points (1-for-7) against the Pistons. He also only dished out a single assist all weekend while committing 6 turnovers. Yet, as I pointed out above, the Celtics still managed to rack up a couple wins.

Dallas Mavericks: So let me get this straight. They had to come from behind in the fourth quarter at home to beat a Miami Heat team that was without Dwyane Wade, Shaq, and Jason Williams? I really don't get the Mavericks this year. Everything about them statistically, including their win-loss record (23-11), indicates that they're one of the best teams in the league. But I simply don't trust them from game to game.

Miami Heat: Wade is in and out. Shaq is just out. They've lost seven games in a row, nine of 10, and they're 8-26 overall. Adding insult to misery, Wade missed two freethrows that could have tied the game against Memphis with about a minute left. I guess that's what happens when a team sells its soul for a championship.

Chauncy Billups: "Mr. Big Shot" missed three freethrows in the fourth quarter of the Piston's 92-85 loss to the Celtics. He also missed a critical three-pointer in the closing minutes that could have given his team the lead (he was 3-for-9 from three-point range for the game). Then, rather than giving the Celtics credit after the game, he tried to diminish the impact of their victory. "They're a little more happy than we were when we won our game at their place. It was just a regular game for us with two good teams playing. They were kind of playing like it was the Super Bowl. There was probably a little more at stake for them and their psyche than it was for us." Actually, the Celtics have been celebrating every victory like that, all season long. They just love winning. It kind of reminds me how some people, including Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, used to criticize Magic for how he'd celebrate after "meaningless" regular season victories. Then Magic went on to win five championships. I'm just sayin'.

New York Knicks: That's seven losses in a row, eight out of 10, and an 8-24 record. In other news, a 22-year-old college student was arrested outside Madison Square Garden last week for selling t-shirts that said, "Don't Hate The Player Or The Game. Hate The Coach." The man in question, one Ivan Cash, said Cash thinks the arrest was meant "to put a lid on all the demands by fans for a new coach.'' Tough time to be a Knicks fan.

Phoenix Suns: On Saturday night, the Suns outshot, out-rebounded, and out-assisted the Hornets, but still suffered a come-from-ahead loss at home. Despite having 12 blocked shots as a team, the Suns defense was porous enough to allow Jannero Pargo to score 19 points on 8-of-12 shooting. It was Pargo's season-high, and his highest point total since March 27, 2006.

Philadelphia 76ers: Remember last season how everybody figured the Iverson trade was kind of a wash? Well, this season the Sixers are 14-20 while the Nuggets are 21-12 and leading their division. On Sunday, Iverson had a classic "see what you lost" revenge game against his former team: 38 points (14-of-25), 8 assists, and, most importantly, a 109-96 victory.

Sasha Pavlovic: Remember how excited the Cavaliers were to finally resign Pavlovic? I would guess they're decidedly less excited right about now. Sasha's currently shooting a career-worst 33 percent from the field and 29 percent from three-point range (compaired to 45 and 40 last season). He hasn't hit 50 percent of his shots since December 11th; in fact, he's only shot 50 percent or better five times in 31 games this season. He's only 20-for-70 over his last 10 games, including two games this weekend in which he was 4-for-11 and 0-for-7. Bottom line: He's not quite the zone-buster the Cavs had hoped.

Kevin Durant: He's the second-worst percentage shooter in Seattle's regular rotation (7-for-21 on Sunday), yet he averages seven more shot attempts per game than the next closest player (Chris Wilcox). He also averages more turnovers (3.0) than assists (2.1). With the way the Trailblazers are playing, I think that the mere thought of Greg Oden deserves Rookie of the Year.

Michael Finley: His 1-for-10 shooting let the Clippers stay close on Sunday. Of course, Bruce Bowen's 1-for-8 didn't help either. Anybody notice the Spurs haven't been playing so great lately? They've been playing just good enough to win, but that's hardly impressive, especially after a couple close calls against the Knicks and Clippers. We'll see how they play tonight at Golden State.

Update -- Malik Allen: Many thanks to reader Xing Quan, whose keen eyes discovered Allen's amazing feat: A 12 trillion (!!) in the Nets' 113-107 win over the Hawks. This matches the largest known "trillion" score I've ever seen, which was accomplished by Damon Jones in Game 1 of the 2007 NBA Finals. It's one thing to be a role player. It's another thing to really suck. And it's an entirely different thing when you're 6'10", 255 pounds, and you can't haul down a single rebound or even commit a foul in 12 minutes of playing time. Did anyone actually see the game? Can anyone confirm that Malik actually played? Did someone put on his jersey by mistake?

Labels: Chauncy Billups, Chris Duhon, Dallas Mavericks, Jason Collins, Miami Heat, New York Knicks, Philadelphia 76ers, Phoenix Suns, Rajon Rondo, Ray Allen, Sacramento Kings

Ray Allen: Yahoo Sports lists Allen as Boston's top performer in the Celtics' 109-104 overtime loss to the Cavaliers. Sure, Allen scored 29 points, but he shot 10-25 from the field to get there. He also let Sasha Pavlovic hit a three-pointer over him to tie the game at 92-92 (and ultimately force overtime). Then he drew a foul but missed both freethrows, either one of which would have won the game. This is where I point out that Allen is a career 89 percent foul shooter who was hitting 92 percent of his freethrows going into the game. Actually, if you check out his game log, you'll notice that Allen's field goal shooting has been getting progressivly worse over the last couple weeks, with several games in the 20s and 30s. Are you listening, Doc Rivers? You're playing Ray Allen too many minutes! You're killing his legs. Please stop.

Special mention: Rajon Rondo, who is sometimes singled out as the Celtics' weak link, tried to play down to that title last night by scoring 3 points on 1-9 shooting, including a terrible 18-foot clunker and a missed layup in overtime. However, he did lead the team in assists (6) and, surprisingly enough, rebounds (7).

Fun fact: Rondo is shooting 43.5 percent from the freethrow line this season. Among guards, only Von Wafer (33.3 percent) and Sergio Rodriguez (20.0 percent) are shooting worse than Rondo. Even Shaq (52.1 percent) is shooting better.

New Jersey Nets: Vince Carter scored 32 points, Richard Jefferson added 27, and Jason Kidd had his 91st career triple double (12/15/12) and the Nets still lost at home to the Grizzlies (5-9). But I guess that's what happens when you let your opponent score 110 points on 50 percent shooting from both the field (38-76) and three-point range (11-22). Jefferson could have tied the score late in the game, but he missed a relatively open three-pointer. Badly. Said Jefferson: "That hurt. That hurt. That hurt bad. All my shots were short. Anytime I made one I was surprised they went in." That's some confidence, folks.

Fun fact: Jason Collins is the Eric Snow of NBA starting centers. He's averaging 0.9 PPG and 2.3 RPG. He has more total fouls (45) than rebounds (35). He has more turnovers (15) than field goals (6). Last night, he had a season-high six points after going scoreless in 11 of the last 14 games. He's had two zero-rebound games and three 1-rebound games. He only has one blocked shot on the season. And despite that, he's making $6,100,000 this season, and he'll earn $6,200,000 next season.

The Miami Heat's offseason: During last night's obliteration of the Hornets, Anfernee Hardaway and Smush Parker -- Pat Riley's only two significant offseason acquisitions -- combined for 2 points (1-3), 3 rebounds, 2 assists, and 1 DNP-CD. That's $3,419,590 well spent!

Fun fact: When he was in high school, Parker modeled for Nautica apparel. He also owns a Cadillac Escalade that he calls the "Smushcalade." Seriously.

Milwaukee Bucks: The Bucks were the feel good team of the week, thanks to a five-game winning streak that included a road win against the Cavaliers and back-to-back home wins against the Lakers and Mavericks. So of course they went and killed the buzz by letting the lowly 76ers (4-9) blow them out 114-99 for their first home loss of the season. On the bright side, the Bucks' next two games are against the Hawks and Knicks, so expect the good times to resume for at least two games.

Fun fact: Remember last week when I mentioned what a huge disappointment Bobby Simmons has been for the Bucks? Well, he missed last night's game for "personal reasons" (the team chose not to elaborate). I suspect "personal reasons" is the new euphemism for "sucks."

Chicago Bulls: You might be wondering why I'm including the Bulls, since they finally broke their losing streak with a 90-78 win over the Atlanta Hawks. Well excuse me for not jumping for joy when a team that many people expected to reach the NBA Finals this season slogs their way to an ugly home win over a 5-8 team. The Bulls won, thanks primarily to a big game from Luol Deng (22 points, 9 rebounds, 2 assists) and a 36-point third quarter, but there were still plenty red flags throughout the game. They shot 39 percent as a team. They scored only 13 points in the first quarter. Kirk Hinrich not only played miserably -- 4 points (2-7), zero rebounds, 3 assists, 2 turnovers -- he got benched in the second quarter for throwing the ball away on a simple fast break play. Said coach Scott Skiles: "I don't know if I've ever seen that kind of play since I've been 5 years old. I don't know what to say about it." You know, Scott once played for an 18-win team. I'm guessing he's seen a play or two that was at least that bad.

Fun fact: Remember when the Hawks started out 2-2, with big wins over Dallas and Phoenix and a near miss against Detroit? And everybody thought that maybe, just maybe, the Hawks were going to be better than anybody expected? Seems like a long time ago, doesn't it?

Benny Adams, Jack Nies, Matt Boland: The Pacers got a huge road victory last night, winning 112-110 in Denver. But the officials almost stole the game from them by awarding J.R. Smith three freethrows for swinging out his leg and kicking Mike Dunleavy Jr. on a last-second, desperation shot. Seriously, go watch it. That awful call gave Smith a chance to tie the game, but the Nuggets were doomed by a little thing we like to call cheater's proof: Smith hit the first two freethrows, then missed the last one. Said Dunleavy: "What was going through my mind was, 'I'm a Christian, I go to church and God may not be a Pacer fan, but he gives us fairness and he was going to come through. The basketball never lies. I knew he was going to miss one of those, but it should have never got to that point." God could not be reached for comment.

Fun fact: In their last four games, the Pacers have beaten the Hornets (10-6), Mavericks (9-5), and Nuggets (9-6), all without Jermaine O'Neal. The Pacers' record without their "best player" this season is 5-1. I'm telling you, this team is better without O'Neal. Memo to Larry Bird: Trade him. Give him away. Let Danny Granger, Jamaal Tinsley, and Mike Dunleavy Jr. lead you to the Promised Land. The sad thing is, I'm being completely serious.

Kevin Durant: He had his second consecutive strong game, scoring 25 points on 10-19 shooting. But he had only two rebounds. Two. This kid's 6'9", athletic, and has the arms of someone twice his height. So why was he outrebounded by the 6'1" Earl Watson (6 rebounds) and the 6'1" Derek Fisher (4 rebounds)?!

Fun fact: Durant is averaging 4.2 RPG. Even though he's has the height of a forward, he plays guard. Well, he ranks 38th among guards in rebounding, right behind Keith Bogans. There are five point guards who average more rebounds per game: Jason Kidd (8.9), Baron Davis (5.5), Jameer Nelson (4.6), Andre Miller (4.6), and Jamaal Tinsley (4.5). And Chris Paul (4.1) is right there.

Labels: Chicago Bulls, Kevin Durant, Miami Heat, Milwaukee Bucks, New Jersey Nets, officiating, Ray Allen