Labels: Bawful After Dark, cockblocked by Luke Walton, Dirk Nowitzki, Roddy Piper
Mavs-Spurs: Ian Mahinmi and Garrett Temple are getting a few more 1-ups after sharing the spotlight in savoring victory through 16 seconds as MARIO BROTHERS!
Suns-Frail Blazers: Earl Clark ate a bowl of Nintendo cereal in just 52 seconds to crunch out a Mario, while Juwan Howard has made it to the infirmary in 15:50 with a diagnosis of a 2:1 Voskuhl by negating a board with a pair of fouls and a piece of masonry.
Labels: Worst of the Night
Labels: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bawful After Dark, Nintendo
[Deron Williams] declared after shootaround that he was the best point guard in the NBA right now.Did Deron really say that? Yes. Yes, he did:
The Nuggets won't disagree.
After watching him average 27.6 points and 12.0 assists over the first four games of the series, the Nuggets put Billups on Williams from the start instead of Afflalo.
Williams said nothing would change no matter who was guarding him, and he was right, getting 34 points and 10 assists before fouling out in the final minute. He became the first player in NBA history to register 20 or more points and double-digit assists in five games to begin a playoff series.
"We played good defense on him," Dantley insisted, "but he's just a great basketball player."
"I feel I was the best point guard in the league for a while," said Williams, when asked by FanHouse during a media session after Wednesday's shootaround at the Pepsi Center if he's the NBA's top point guard. "I think I'm the best point guard in the league. No reason. I just think I'm the best."While I'm not necessarily disagreeing with Williams, his proclamation couldn't help but remind me of similar words from Basketbawful Hall of Shame candidate Stephon Marbury circa 2005:
Williams, who averaged 18.7 points and 10.5 assists during the regular season while making his first All-Star Game, has thought that for a while. He was asked who the second-best point guard is in the NBA.
"CP," said Williams, referring to New Orleans' Chris Paul, who was taken No. 4 in the 2005 draft while Williams went No. 3, with Paul getting off to a quicker NBA start. "Just like he probably thinks he's the best and I'm No. 2."
So who's the bronze medalist in this point-guard derby?
"Steve Nash," Williams said. "You got to argue him, what he's doing at this age (36) is crazy. I felt he's been the best point guard for the first probably three or four years that I was in the league."
"Don't get me wrong -- I love Jason Kidd. He's a great point guard," Marbury said. "(But) how am I comparing myself to him when I think I'm the best point guard to play basketball? That doesn't make any sense. I mean, how can I sit here and compare myself to somebody if I already think I'm the best?Of course, Starbury lost his mind anyway. But wait, here's some more:
"I'm telling you what it is: I know I'm the best point guard in the NBA. I don't need anybody else to tell me that. When I go on the basketball court, if I think about what you're all saying, I'll lose my mind."
"Me and Jason Kidd are two different players," Marbury said. "The way you see basketball, and the way I see it, it's not the same thing. You can't compare both of us. We don't play anything alike. We're totally different. You may feel he's better, there's another person that feels different."You know where Steph was in April of 2005? Wrapping up his season on a 33-win Knicks team. And, uh, we all know how things went from there.
But Kidd has played in 73 playoff games and seven All-Star Games. Marbury has appeared in 18 playoff games and two All-Star Games. And in current All-Star voting, Marbury is sixth among Eastern Conference guards with 151,749 votes as of yesterday. Kidd is fifth with 306,359.
"I don't care about (the voting)," Marbury said. "That stuff doesn't matter to me."
He admitted that when he was younger, playing in the All-Star Game was important to him. And he did say that "playing in the All-Star Game is always fun, because you're recognized as being one of the elite players." But he won't be disappointed if he's not among the All-Stars Feb. 20 in Denver.
"As long as I'm playing come April, (trying to) win the championship, that's the most important thing," he said.
Even on a day off, Dwight Howard can antagonize officials enough to draw a penalty.Seriously, Dwight, just shut up and play. Better yet...SHUT UP AND JAM!! GAIDEN!!
The Orlando Magic center was fined $35,000 by the NBA on Wednesday for criticizing officials on his blog, the second time this season he's been penalized for posting such comments.
Howard was in chronic foul trouble and constantly complaining about officiating in the Magic's series sweep over Charlotte. He fouled out in the last two games, played only 105 minutes and committed 22 fouls in four games.
"I'm not looking to say anything to get myself in trouble with the league, but I just don't see other star players getting called for fouls the way I get them," Howard posted on his blog. "No star player in the league is outta games the way I am."
Coach Stan Van Gundy and forward Matt Barnes were fined $35,000 each last week for criticizing officials and publicly questioning their calls on Howard. Orlando's All-Star center also was fined $15,000 in November for similar comments on his blog, although those were light compared to his latest post.
"I mean, it was almost comical at times how I was getting fouls called on me," Howard wrote. "There was nothing I could do [out] there and I felt like I couldn't even move without getting that whistle blown on me."
Bucks-Hawks: As the deer celebrated a rare road win in Georgia's capital, Dan Gadzuric did his best to live up to the franchise's general mediocrity over the years, countering two field goals and a board in 11:01 with five fouls and a giveaway for a 6:5 Voskuhl.
Jazz-Nuggets: 56 seconds was all it took to get FOUR folks plugged into the NES tonight in a MARIO PARTY -- Sundiata Gaines, Othyus Jeffers, and Kosta Koufos for the Jazz, and Malik Allen the celebrant for Denver!!! Amazingly, Jeffers and Koufos went non-lacktive by managing to score boards in their mini-stints.
Labels: Atlanta Hawks, Utah Jazz, Worst of the Night
Labels: Bawful After Dark, Footbawful, In Living Color, Joakim Noah, Miami Heat
I am not sure if you remember me. I am the unlucky soul who covered news out in Lynchburg, VA for three years. Well, I finally moved out of the seventh layer of hell to Greensboro, NC. I guess you could call it a promotion since it is not WGN yet. Anyway, I finally got situated with cable and all, it only took me a month and a half. However, I wont complain especially since I was able to watch my first basketball game in quite sometime. Unfortunately, I may never watch again after the performance of the Miami Heat not named Dwyane Wade or Mario Chalmers. The other four starters (Arroyo, O'Neal, Richardson, Beasley) combined 21 Points (9-25), 10 Boards, 6 Assists, 5 Steals in 96 Minutes. Mario Chalmers off the bench nearly outscored those four scrubs. Not to diss Wade he showed up, but he did have 7 turnovers.See, Mike? Cable is the Devil. By the way, Mike was kind enough to include a link to this story about the capture of an escaped circus elephant in Lynchburg. And I thought Kokomo sucked.
Please rank The Drain's failure as a human being paid to play basketball on a scale of 1-10. He shot 30% today and that was nearly DOUBLE his shooting percentage this series. Let that sink in...On a scale of 1-10, I rank it this:
It's pretty sad when shooting 3-10 actually RAISES your field goal percentage. What's even sadder is that The Drain is Miami's second best player. Think about that for a second...And now, here are the Drain's series numbers: 5 games, 117 minutes, 21 total points (4.2 PPG), 9-for-44 from the field (20.5 percent), 3-for-7 from the line (42.9 percent), 28 total rebounds (5.6 RPG), 7 turnovers, 13 fouls, an Offensive Rating of 57 points per 100 possessions and a PER of 2.5. And did I mention he made over $23 million this season?
Dampier turned out to be Dallas' only player not to play. Najera wound up as the backup, but he won't be much longer if he keeps playing rough.Really, Eduardo? Really? And since I failed to post this when it happened...
After getting ejected from Game 4 because of a flagrant-two foul on Ginobili, he was hit with a flagrant-one for a whack on Parker. With three flagrant "points" this postseason, his next will draw an automatic one-game suspension. His performance already has won over the fans, earning cries of "Ed-die! Ed-die!" in the second half.
"I'm not trying to hurt anybody out there," Najera said. "I'm just trying to prove a point that we can do the same things they are doing."
Heat-Celtics: Michael Finley collected cash in celebration for Doc Rivers and the Anything Is Possible gang: 4.55 (4:34) trillion to be exact!
Bulls-Crabs: Brad Miller scrapped up a 6:3 Voskuhl ratio in 9:32 by negating a field goal and board with a rejection and foulout!!!
For the crustacean nation, JJ Hickson scratched off a winning ticket worth 3.55 (3:34) trillion!
Spurs-Mavs: DeShawn Stevenson bricked thricely from the Winspear Opera House in 6:09 and added two fouls for a +5 suck differential!
Labels: Miami Heat, officiating, Oklahoma City Thunder, San Antonio Spurs, Worst of the Night
Larry Hughes' facial expression is golden, but it's secondary to the unintentional humour in the provided photo caption.Not true. Big Shot Larry is also good at being the butt of many jokes!
Forward Vince Carter #15 of the Orlando Magic drives in the lane while Tyson Chandler #6 (L) of the Charlotte Bobcats defends him and Bobcats forward Larry Hughes (R) looks on during Game Three of the Eastern Conference Quarterfinals during the 2010 NBA Playoffs at Time Warner Cable Arena on April 24, 2010 in Charlotte, North Carolina.
Isn't that all Big-Shot Larry is good for these days anyway?
Labels: Bawful After Dark, Jermaine O'Neal, Larry Hughes
According to The Denver Post, Nuggets guard J.R. Smith posted a message on his Twitter page Sunday night that read, "You play selfish you lose selfish that's all I'm saying about the game!"Crazy Kobe fans: This video speaks for itself. And speaks. And speaks. And speaks. Thanks to the anonymous commenter who posted the link.
When asked about Smith's tweet, Nuggets interim head coach Adrian Dantley appeared uncomfortable. "What do you want me to say? That he shouldn't have made that comment? I don't know. He shouldn't have made that comment."
Nuggets team leader Chauncey Billups has this to say, "It's frustrating to lose, and people can say what they want, but at any rate, when we win, we win together. ... I don't think we've been specifically selfish."
Smith didn't speak with the media Monday, but did respond to the controversy on his Twitter page and wrote, "yo i got the twitter goons on my back!"
Magic-Bobcats: Closing out this lackluster playoff series with celebration, Ryan Anderson pulled 4.3 (4:19) trillion out of a hat.
For Charlotte, Derrick Brown and Stephen Graham each cued up Fred Savage and Jenny Lewis, with Famicom wizardry: Derrick drilling for just one second at the free throw lane for a SUPER MARIO and Graham crumbling at the sight of a goomba in 55 seconds for a regular Mario! Theo Ratliff's postseason expired with a 5:2 Voskuhl in 7:55 via two boards countered by two bricks and five fouls - three Voskuhls in the four-game series!
Hawks-Bucks: As Atlanta's road woes continue, their traveling lair of lacktion continued to produce - Zaza Pachulia negated a field goal and two boards in 18:54 with four fouls and a turnover for a 5:4 Voskuhl. THE Mario West now has enough money for Virtual Boy repairs with a 1.35 trillion (1:22) and Jeff Teague lived up to his teammate's reputation by tossing a Koopa shell in just 5 seconds for a Super Mario!!!!
Meanwhile, Charlie Bell rang up 50 seconds worth of playing time on the Wii for a Mario that also garnered a +2 suck differential via foul and brick from the Third Ward.
Frail Blazers-Suns: Juwan Howard's crutches needed readjustment, with one made field goal in 8:37 avoiding a fully lacktive evening, only to counter those points with five fouls and a giveaway for a 6:2 Voskuhl.
Earl Clark crunched into the ledger with a two-turnover +2 in 5:39.
Labels: Atlanta Hawks, Charlotte Bobcats, Dwight Howard, Michael Jordan, Portland Trail Blazers
Labels: Bawful After Dark
"I'm better than I was last night. I'm a little sore," he said of his condition yesterday. "It was cramping most of the game, so trying to keep it away. And then, at the end, it felt more like a cramp-charley horse combination. So, when you think of cramp, you think of something small, but it locked in on me. So it's just cramps.Done in by cramps, huh? [Insert your very own vagina joke here.]
"I just got to continue to get the treatment and therapy on it and hopefully it'll feel looser tomorrow," said Wade. "The main thing is to calm that muscle down for it to feel looser tomorrow and try to go out there and play and see how it feels. I can't not play my game, so hopefully it goes away. The biggest thing is make sure I stay hydrated for the next 24 hours."
"Yeah, you know, that's on me. It hasn't been our philosophy over the years to foul. It hasn't been our philosophy the last two years, unless there's two circumstances that we work on all the time: That if you feel compromised on a drive, wrap somebody up. Or if they have their back to you at an inopportune time, to take a foul.Seriously, couldn't Erik just say, "Yep, I boned that one, we'll probably foul next time..."?
"If I were to do it over, it's always easy to say one way or another. We knew we had a foul to give.
"Here's the thinking on it. I understand a lot of the second-guessing and it always is easy to say one way or another. Either you foul right away, when it's not a threat, and that doesn't make a difference because you foul at eight seconds or seven seconds. They still get the ball and now you don't have a free foul, OK?
"The idea is to try to give it around three or four seconds, when the guy's on the move. But Pierce was doing what? He was lining Dorell up and he kept the ball in front of him and I don't know if there's a more dangerous player in the league, that as soon as you put your hand in there to try to wrap him up, he was going.
"And if you heard Pierce's comments after the game, he said he was waiting for that exact opportunity. He was just waiting to draw that flail and that flop. He didn't turn his back. He's experienced. He knows how to deal with those situations. So it is easier said than done."
"It hasn't been our philosophy for the last two years in that situation or when you're up by three, for the most part, to foul. The only thing I can say about that is we’ve been burned now.
"It might force us to rethink it. But it's on me. It's on my philosophy and it's certainly not from Dorell having to make that decision on the fly. He knew what we wanted."
Celtics-Heat: Ball don't lie, and neither does the lacktion ledger, as Rasheed Wallace countered a shocking perfect shooting percentage (on one shot) as well as a board in 10:39 with four fouls for a 4:3 Voskuhl.
Mavs-Spurs: Erick Dampier really lives up to his contract as Mark Cuban's starting big man, doesn't he? In 26:58, he negated four rebounds with a brick, a giveaway, and five fouls for a 6:4 Voskuhl.
For Gregg Popovich's aged avengers, Roger Mason collected 1.15 (1:10) trillion worth of pennies in a glass container!
Nuggets-Jazz: In 2:39, Johan Petro smurfed away a block with a foul for a 1:0 Madsen-level Voskuhl.
Meanwhile, for Utah, Jerry Sloan savored yet another playoff win with FOUR lacktion artists!!! The first bebopper to be a human victory cigar was Ronnie Price, who bricked thricely (once from Pioneer Park) and fouled once in 9:08 for a +4 suck differential. Next up was contributory one-hit wonder Sundiata Gaines, who took a foul and brick for a +2 in 2:18 - the same time and score that Kosta Koufos earned, via brick and rejection. Finally, Othyus Jeffers joined the fray in 1:50 with a +1 via giveaway.
Orlando Magic coach Stan Van Gundy vowed to stop talking about the officials. The declaration left NBA commissioner David Stern with a smile.Stern really enjoys being an untouchable dick, doesn't he?
The give-and-take between the two continued before Game 3 of the Magic's first-round playoff series at Charlotte on Saturday. Stern was in attendance two days after the league fined Van Gundy $35,000 for criticizing the referees about the number of fouls called on Magic center Dwight Howard.
"I've been fined for saying how good they were this year, and I've been fined for criticizing them," Van Gundy said. "So nobody understands more that we're just not to talk about them at all."
Told Van Gundy's comments about an hour later, Stern immediately smiled.
"I'm glad to hear that," he said. "Isn't that new?"
Stern wasn't finished, though. He later took Van Gundy to task for his complaining about how the first-round playoff series are spread out for television purposes. Stern recalled how coaches used to complain about back-to-back games on weekends.
"So then you can imagine my feeling when I see Stan Van Gundy, the league administrator, lecturing on how we should schedule games," Stern said. "Thank you very much -- as we try to nurture $800 million a year of TV money so we can distribute it to the teams so they can pay their salary."
"So when you tell me he's going to be quiet for a while, that's the best news I've had today."
Magic-Bobcats: Brandon Bass slapped out a 1.7 trillion (1:42) for Stan Van Gundy.
For His Airness and Larry Brown, Theo Ratliff expired once again as starting center by countering a 100% shooting percentage (in one shot) in 8:47 with a trio of fouls for a 3:2 Voskuhl. Meanwhile, Tyson Chandler cooked up a stunning +7 suck differential in 12:20 via five fouls and two giveaways, also earning an overwhelming 7:0 Voskuhl!!!!
Bucks-Hawks: Charlie Bell rang up a celebratory line in the ledger, fouling and bricking once each in 5:30 for a +2.
Lakers-Thunder: Kevin Ollie tossed one brick in 5:27 for a +1.
Crabs-Bulls: Jawad Williams pinched out a +2 suck differential via foul and a brick tossed from the Sears Tower in 2:15.
Mavs-Spurs: Erick Dampier continued to dampen Dallas's hopes with the negation of a four-board stint in 19:03 with two bricks, two turnovers, and five fouls for a 7:5 Voskuhl.
RODRIGUE BEAUBOIS went into the stratosphere tonight with a 0.1 second SUPER MARIO GALAXY to close out yet another Mavs playoff loss!!!! Also in the video game universe tonight for the Mavs was Eduardo Najera, who had the "Eject" button pressed for him after a 47-second Mario after fouling Manu Ginobili for a +1!!!
For San Antonio, Matt Bonner provided two bricks from the Joske's flagship store and two fouls in 8:21 for a +4 and a 2:0 Voskuhl.
Nuggets-Jazz: Joey Graham crumbled at the sight of a piranha plant after only 20 seconds for a Mario, while Johan Petro bricked once for a +1 in 3:10.
Utah's Kosta Koufos snuck into GameStop right before closing time for a 58-second non-lacktive Mario (due to a board and a made field goal!).
Labels: NBA playoffs, Worst of the Weekend