Wait a second. I thought hawks could fly, but deer couldn't?
The next time Chris makes a Nintendo reference about a Mario, it'd be a good time to break out this bad boy: Super Mario Crossover. Ever wondered what it'd be like to play the Super Mario Brothers NES game, but play as another NES game character like Mega Man, Link, Simon from Castlevania, or that badass dude from Contra? Your questions have been answered. Have fun blowing shit up with guns and cracking Goombas with whips! (H/t to my buddy Jeff for sharing this)

Horrible news for 80s-style action movie fans (since I know we've got a few other than Bawful and myself that read this blog). David Ayer (known for writing and directing dark dramas) is going to remake Commando. He plans to "put his own real-world spin on this original premise," and "Ayer’s protagonist will be less brawny, but more skilled in covert tactics and weaponry." This sounds like a gigantic sack of shit compared to the original's perfection. It won't be campy and goofy and fun, so what's the point? If you want to make a serious movie, don't base it off something that never took itself seriously in the first place! (At least The Running Man hasn't been remade. Yet.)

A bit of local news for me. In the buildup to this weekend's Kentucky Derby, there are countless parties and bashes featuring celebrity appearances. This year, however, we are being treated to Dennis Rodman appearing as a DJ at the Derby Pretty event at the Frazier International History Museum in Louisville. I would go, but my compensation for writing for this blog ($0) falls a little short of the table reservations at this event ($750-$2000). Sorry, guys. I'm just as heartbroken as you are.

And this has nothing to do with anything, but must be shared: the Better Marriage Blanket.

W-T-F??
According to Jimmy Traina from SI.com's Hot Clicks, this is real. He had to call their 1-800 number to verify it wasn't just a fake ad. Amazing.

Worst of the Night in Pictures:

After seeing George Lopez's godawful late night show, I hoped this fake fight would escalate to a whuppin'

Be careful to not piss off Jerry Sloan too much. He's got that crazy Old Man Strength.
All The Games:
Mavericks at Spurs - TNT, 8:00pm
Spurs lead series 3-2

If somebody finds Jason Kidd's youthful energy and talent, please return to the Mavericks' team office. Thanks in advance.

Suns at Frail Blazers - TNT, 10:30pm
Suns lead series 3-2

Tempo will be the key here. If the Suns can run, and perhaps more importantly get the Blazers to run with them, they should win. However, considering how easily the Blazers get hurt, it's hard to keep them running without tearing ACLs and blowing out kneecaps.

Labels: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bawful After Dark, Nintendo