That pretty much sums it up
(Thanks to stephanie g for forwarding that to us)

Before we get into the basketball talk, a quick footbawful crossover... here's a scathing article from Clay Travis where he rips the NFL culture for shunning Myron Rolle. I was nodding in agreement the entire time I read this piece.

We all remember Joakim Noah's harsh words for Cleveland. Well, on second thought (and perhaps after viewing the beautiful hastily-made Cleveland tourism videos), he's changed his mind and is wowed by the culture and vitality of Cleveland. (If you don't immediately pick up the fact that this link is satire... I don't know what to say to you.)

And finally, as linked on Deadspin, a couple of San Diego Padres prospects with way too much time on their hands put together this awesome video of NERF Basketball action. Mesmerizing.

Worst of the Night in Pictures:

Super best friends!
(Thanks to JE Skeets for retweeting this gem)

D-Wade knows he is about to receive a wedgie, but is too late to do anything about it

"Hey, smell my finger!"

I half-expected Cardboard Sign Dirk to have a Cardboard Sign Flying Elbow


The Drain, everybody!

All The Games:
Bucks at Hawks - TNT, 8:00pm
Series tied 2-2

I know that we're supposed to Fear the Deer, but does that include road games? Based on what we've seen so far in this series, I'm guessing the answer is no. To have a shot at winning this series, they're going to have to steal a road game so well that you expect to see it end up for sale on the Homeboy Shopping Network.

Jazz at Nuggets - TNT, 10:30pm
Jazz lead series 3-1

The Nuggets claim they're back to being buddies and nobody will be thrown under the bus anymore. Bullcrap. I've seen better chemistry in a middle school science lab.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...
Myron Rolle? Meh. As one comment pointed out, it's entirely possible that he's just not that good a football player.

And how come no one every points out that Cecil Rhodes is one of history's sketchiest rat bastards and his scholarship fund is the product of the brutalization and robbery of millions of Africans? I mean, if we're going to editorialize on mores. . .

Anonymous UpA said...
Somehow the NFL piece reminded me of Livin' Large's Matt... a house full of thumbs up for Rolle. He's committing to better things.

What owners want is guys like Antoine Walker, able to spend hundreds of millions of dollars and never care about it. Is that how NFL wants to sell kids the idea of Stay-in-school?

Blogger Dooj said...
I saw we comment on Howard a little. Sure he gets called for some ticky tack fouls, but if he pulled some of the stuff he does in a rec league he would be knocked out. Posting up with your elbows above the defenders shoulders is generally a bad idea.

He might be an amazing freak of nature and a phenomenal defensive big man. But I don't recall any other big man dealing with the foul trouble that he is dealing with. Maybe he should stop being mentored by Ewing?

Anonymous Anonymous said...
OMG! The Bucks pwnd the Hawkes.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Fear the Deer!

If they close out Atlanta at home (likely) do they really stand a chance against Orlando? Think they can win one?

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
The Deer has been Feared!

Also, I miss my college apartment nerf bball hoop =(

Anonymous AK Dave said...
Dan B: how do them werds taste?

Blogger Dan B. said...
AK Dave -- They taste... unexpected. However, it was totally worth it just to post the Homeboy Shopping Network video. (Now I just need to find an excuse to link to their classic Mo' Money Seminar skit with the same two characters)

AnacondaHL -- I set up a Nerf basketball hoop in my basement... except it's not even Nerf. It's a shitty $1 version I bought on a whim at the Dollar Tree one day back in college. It uses one of those Nerf-style balls that somehow has a lower density than goddamn air and is impossible to throw further than five feet with anything resembling accuracy. (Thankfully my boss had an old Pop-a-Shot arcade basketball thing he just gave to me since the electronics are hosed, so that is a worthy replacement)

Anonymous Karc said...
Oh, the massive fails tonight.

Bucks beating the Hawks was surprising, but my problem was that I was trying to find a Youtube video of a deer eating a bird, and the best Youtube came up with was a deer eating bird seeds. In the one video I found where the bird and the deer went head to head, the bird (this case an eagle) ATE the deer ( See, this is nature, the bird, oddly enough, wins. Which means that in order for the deer to have a chance, the bird either has to be stupid, or laying around on the ground like seeds. Hacking the Bucks, the road team, into 29 foul shots, seeds. That 14-0 run to end the game, seeds. See a motif? I still don't understand what business Joe Johnson had running into Kurt Thomas at the end. I mean, the guy is 65 in NBA years. Would it kill the guy to use a spin dribble?

Dwight Howard got fined 35K for "ripping" the refs on his blog. No surprise there. I'm sure it was just so that the NBA could use the money to trademark "Foul's on You" for its next marketing campaign.

I mean, the dude prefaced it by saying "I'm not looking to say anything to get myself in trouble with the league..." What did he think was going to happen?

And massive NHL fail, as the Capitals choked (again) in a Game 7 at home. But this was great for many reasons. One, they blew a 3-1 series lead, which is automatically an epic fail. Second, they had the "best" record in the NHL, and Montreal had the worst record out of all of the playoff teams. It's like a 16 beating a 1, or the Bulls beating the Cavs. Third, this is team owned by Ted Leonsis (looking mighty sad here -, the same dude that wants to buy the Wizards outright (he currently only has about 40 percent of the team) and keep the old gunslinger. Not Favre, the guy who actually uses guns. I mean, if there was ever an omen to get out of the Washington sports scene, choking in round 1 of the NHL playoffs and losing your star basketball player to stupidity should be enough. But since all things come in threes, I'm betting the Washington Mystics get to the WNBA finals. Or another "Attendance" banner.

Anonymous AK Dave said...
Agreed. I used to pretend to go to sleep so that I could then sneak out into the living room and watch "In Living Color" when I was a kid. Good times...

"Men on Television", "Fire Marshal Bob" "Homey the Clown".... hell yeah.

Blogger chris said...
UpA: OF COURSE owners want Antoine Walker - imagine how often His Airness pwn3d 'toine on the team bus poker game!

Dan B.: Have you shown me the pop-a-shot arcade thing yet? I wanna see photoz.


Okay, maybe not, but...the last time that the vension won a playoff series was 2001, right?

Blogger chris said...
Karc: This is also the FIRST TIME evar that a #1 seed with a 3-1 series lead has choked in the first round.


(if only because it permanently deflects attention away from my Sharks failing last year. woot.)

Anonymous Sorbonne said...
That was my Ducks that pawned the Sharks last year. To be fair, they mAde a dope trade last year, so I wouldn't have called them a true 8-seed like the Canadians. Ovechoke!

So, about the Bucks...let's start the talk...dark horse Finals pick for 2011. Let's be ahead of the rest of the press, bawful fans!

Blogger Clifton said...
Bonus "puckin' awful" sad-bench photos!



Blogger Preveen said...
2nd para - The Cavs have Shaq; the Celtics have 'Sheed.
Ummm... even now, I'd say big Cavs advantage right there.
I'm sorta surprised by this description of LeBron and Pierce as two of basketball's best snipers. Thought snipers were long range shooters. Didn't realize Bron and Pierce would be tagged the long range threats in a series that involves Ray Allen.

Hey, my WV is elite :D

Blogger Preveen said...
This is one of the more awesome quotes I read on a fan board this year.

"Fear the Deer, Chug the Beer!!!!"


Blogger Unknown said...
Sorry if this is super old, but I just saw this:


Anonymous Anonymous said...
That's Milwaukee for you - it's always with beer. Of course, nobody needs to "Fear the Deer." It's really just more of a matter that the dirty birds have broken wings.

Blogger stephanie g said...
I feel that Beasley could star in an anti-drug commercial. "I was supposed to score 20 points and grab 10 rebounds a game...but then I got high. They tanked an entire season to find a savior to keep Wade...but then I got high." And so on.