Boston Celtics: I'm not saying that that this team has lost focus now that there's nothing left to play for...actually, you know what? That's precisely what I'm saying. The Celtics turned their effort on and off all night, cruising here, making a run there, hitting big shots and then committing careless mistakes (they had 20 turnovers). The up-and-down, sometimes lackadaisical play led to a 109-95 defeat that gave the Wizards, a potential playoff opponent, more confidence than they probably deserve. Not a big deal, maybe, but you never want to give your foes any type of psychological advantage going into the postseason.

Doc Rivers: Doc couldn't quite decide whether to rest his stars or go all out to beat Washington, so he did the worst possible thing: He yanked The Big Three but then put them back in the game because the score was still close in the fourth quarter. The end result? He didn't rest his stars or win. Paul Pierce played 37 minutes, Ray Allen logged 36, and Kevin Garnett put in 30. Okay, KG got some rest, but what in the name of Lincoln's wart was Ray-Ray doing on the floor that long? We've been hearing all season that Allen's fragile ankles now have the relative durability of two dowel rods wrapped in toilet tissue. If there's one Celtic -- besides Sam Cassell, that is -- who should be sitting, it's Ray Allen. Save him for the playoffs, Doc.

Brian Scalabrine: Everybody's favorite candlepin bowler-slash-instructional video star actually got some PT last night. He would have scored a one trillion, but he gonked a shot and committed a turnover. Which, now that I think about it, is even sadder than getting a trillion.

Maurice Ager: There's our one trillion of the night. Thanks, Maurice.

Ben Wallace: It's good to see Big Bum disappoint somewhere other than Chicago. Wallace's line against the Nets: 1 points (0-for-2), 4 rebounds, 1 steal, 1 turnovers and the worst +/- score on the team (-12).

The Nets' fourth quarter: New Jersey started the quarter down by two points, but they quickly went up by one when Bostjan Nachbar hit a three-pointer. The Nets didn't know it at the time, but their first field goal of the period would also be their last; they went 0-for-19 the rest of the way. And so New Jersey got outscored 28-9 in that final stanza and lost 104-83. Mind you, their very playoff lives were at stake. You hear that, Nets? It's a bell tolling for thee.

Chicago Bulls: It's official. They're not even really trying to win at this point. And Ben Gordan -- who last summer announced that he's the best player on the team -- said it's hard for the players to motivate themselves with nothing to play for and no reason to care. Said Gordan Gordon: ''Anybody who says it isn't, is not telling the truth."

Well, you're wrong, Ben. There's at least one Bull who still cares: Rookie Joakim Noah. And he had some strong (and refreshingly frank) words after the game. Said Noah: "'Losing is like a disease, it spreads throughout the whole team,. It's really hard right now, because regardless of what we do, there's no light at the end of the tunnel, especially for this season. I feel like we're not really playing with a lot of pride and respect for the jersey. It's just hard because you can't point at anybody individually. You can talk about Florida, but if you're a Bulls fan, I'm not a champion anymore. We're losers. We lose. We're losers. That's all there is to say." He's not wrong."

And Noah wasn't done. ''There's going to have to be a serious team talk before the end of the year about approach to every game; the things that are going to be tolerated and the things that aren't going to be tolerated. Not the little, stupid things. I'm talking about winning; the sacrifices that need to be done in order to win.'' Amen, brother. Amen. Say whatever you want about his maturity or his hideous jump shot, but the kid is focused, intense, and dedicated to winning. I wish whatever he has would spread through that lineup. In the meantime, the Bulls have stolen the Chicago Cubs' mantra: Wait 'till next year.

Patrick Ewing: From Odenized. You know that fat lip Dwight Howard's sporting these days? It's a little something Ewing likes to call "payback." Still, I figure Stan Van Gundy might prefer if his assistant coach didn't endorse injuries to the team's superstar until after the playoffs.


Isiah Thomas, quote machine: With his team riding a three-game winning streak -- and yes, that's a season-high -- Isiah is all bright eyes and wistful smiles. "Finally the spirit of the team is good. The camaraderie of the team is good. I just think that they’re a team now. A little late, but nevertheless." Wow. It took him only four years to make them a real team. Congratulations, Zeke.

Mark Madsen: We had a Mark Madsen signing! He played 4 minutes and had 1 rebound. That's it. Did you know this is Madsen's 8th NBA season? Wow. And I said Kwame Brown was going to be out of the league soon? What was I thinking?! There's obviously always room at the end of an NBA roster for a big, talentless stiff.

Seattle SuperSonics: In the two games they've played since dropping 151 points on the Enver Nuggets, the Sonics have scored 83 (on 38 percent shooting) and 80 (on 36 percent shooting). A few more bricks, and they'll be ready to build their new stadium from scratch!

San Antonio Spurs: Memo to Gregg Popovich: Shaq is not dead quite yet. Pop decided to stick with single coverage on The Big Resurrection, and his team paid the price for it. Shaq scored 8 points in the fourth quarter, including two huge hooks over Tim Duncan that gave the Suns what turned out to be an insurmountable lead over the defending champs.

Matt Bonner: Ugh. Three trillion. You, sir, are a disgrace to the name "Matt." I say you return that name for something for fitting, like maybe "Poindexter" or "Booger."

Bruce Bowen: What? Bowen pulled a move out of his Dirty Player Aresenal especially for his team's game against the Suns? I can't believe it. (I'm kidding. I can totally believe it.)


Amare Stoudemire: After getting the old atomic elbow from Bowen, Stat tried to go all hombre on him. "Bruce came elbow first. Elbowed me right in my rib cage. You know, definitely wasn’t a basketball play on his part and I reacted. I definitely didn’t appreciate it. So, I let him know about it." Stoudemire is crazy athletic, and he's an amazing scorer. But he is so not a tough guy. Button the lip, Amare, and let Shaq be your hombre, okay?

Shaq: The Big Cactus played well, but he got a little grandiose after the game (as he is wont to do). Said Shaq: "I'm still the baddest 36-year-old ever created." No offense, Shaq, but you're wrong. The baddest 36-year-old ever created was Karl Malone. Take a look: 25.5 PPG (on 51 percent shooting), 9.5 RPG, 3.7 APG, and -- if you're into advanced stats -- a PER of 27.1 which, according to John Hollinger's handy reference guide, would have made him a "Strong MVP Candidate." Nobody has ever played better at 36. Not even Kareem. (Seriously.)

Labels: Amare Stoudemire, Ben Wallace, Boston Celtics, Bruce Bowen, Chicago Bulls, Doc Rivers, Isiah Thomas, Joakim Noah, New Jersey Nets, Patrick Ewing, San Antonio Spurs, Seattle Supersonics

fifth quarter (fifth kwort'-ur) noun. The hours immediately following the conclusion of a late-night basketball game, during which players hit the town or go to private parties in order to engage in various illicit activities. These activities can include, but are not limited to, the following: drinking, womanizing, gambling, drug use, and vehicular masturbation (see below).

Usage example: Many NBA players have ended up on the wrong side of the law during the fifth quarter.

Word Trivia: The fifth quarter is a dangerous and potentially embarrassing time, not only for the players themselves, but also for their coaches, teammates, and team owners. Take last February, when the Pacers' Jamaal Tinsley and Marquis Daniels followed up a 113-98 loss to the Golden State Warriors by going to the 8 Seconds Saloon, getting liquored up, yelling obscenities at staff members, and then getting into a fight with and threatening to kill the bar owner. And these were the same two guys who, during training camp, accompanied Stephen Jackson to his ill-fated strip club shooting escapade.

Speaking of strip clubs, let's not forget about the The Gold Club Trial, in which it came out that several NBA players -- including Dennis Rodman, Dikembe Mutombo, Jerry Stackhouse, John Starks, Patrick Ewing, and Reggie Miller -- had not only frequented the posh Atlanta strip club, but they'd received a variety of sexual favors there. As Ewing put it in his testimony, "The girls danced and started fondling me. I got aroused. They performed oral sex."

But not every sex scandal has the sleazy allure of prostitution. On March 30, 2006, hours after scoring two points in the Minnesota Timberwolves' 103-91 win over the Orlando Magic, Eddie Griffin crashed his Cadillac Escalade into a Chevy Suburban that was parked outside a convenience store. Not only was Griffin drunk out of his mind, but he was also watching porn and masturbating at the time of the accident. According to the lawsuit, the DVD jackets for "Anal Action" and "Privates" were found in the passenger seat of his car. Remember kids, friends don't let friends whack it and drive.

I think the dangers of the fifth quarterare the least of this guy's problems...

Labels: Eddie Griffin, Jamaal Tinsley, Patrick Ewing, Word of the Day

10. Patrick Ewing: Thanks to Michael Jordan's first retirement, the New York Knicks finally managed to make it to the NBA Finals in the summer of 1994. Unfortunately for Ewing, he had to face Hakeem Olajuwon, who had just been named league MVP (Ewing was fifth in MVP voting that season). Ewing's scoring and field goal percentage dropped dramatically (25 PPG to 19, and 50 percent shooting to a dismal 36). What's more, Olajuwon was lighting him up (27 PPG on 50 percent shooting). The Knicks lost a very close series, and Ewing's below-average performance was a big reason why, although not the biggest (see below).

9. Nick Anderson: In 1994-95, Anderson shot 70 percent from the foul line. But that didn't keep him from missing four straight freethrows at the end of Game 1 of the 1995 Finals. Those misses ended up costing his team the game. According to his Wikipedia bio, this event caused him to develop a "psychological disorder" regarding freethrows (indeed, his percentage eventually dropped to 40 percent).

8. Kobe Bryant: The Lakers won the 2000 Finals, but not because of Kobe Bryant. He averaged only 15 PPG on 36 percent shooting. He scored two points in Game 2 and eight points in Game 5. His defense on Reggie Miller was just as bad: Miller averaged 25 PPG on 48 percent shooting (both above his season averages).

7. Chauncy Billups: He's "Mr. Big Shot" huh? Then how do you explain his 3-for-8 (including 0-for-3 from three-point range) stinkbomb he threw up in Game 7 of the 2005 Finals?

6. Larry Johnson: Grandmama sunk the Pacers with his four-point play in the Eastern Conference Finals, but he was dreadful in the 1999 Finals. Game 1: 1-for-3, five points. Game 2: 2-for-12, five points. Game 3: 6-for-16, 16 points. Game 4: 2-for-8, five points. Game 5: 3-for-10, seven points.

5. Magic Johnson: Most NBA historians feel like the Lakers should have won the 1984 NBA Finals. In fact, they could have swept the series...had it not been for Magic Johnson. The Lakers had a chance to win Game 2 in regulation, but the Lakers didn't get a shot off because Magic dribbled out the clock. He then threw the ball -- and any chance at victory -- away twice at the end of the overtime session. In Game 4, he missed two freethrows that would have given the Lakers the lead. On the Celtics very next possession, Bird posted Johnson up and drained the go-ahead basket over Magic's outstretched hands. Instead of winning the series 4-0, the Lakers lost it 4-3. Johnson was so depressed afterward that Kevin McHale started calling him "Tragic Johnson."

4. Rik Smits: When the Pacers finally made it to the NBA Finals in 2000, somebody forget to tell Smits. He averaged a lousy 10 PPG on 39 percent shooting. Even worse, he averaged only four RPG, and had two games in which he grabbed only two rebounds. Did I meantion he was 7'4"? On defense, he let Shaq to score 38 PPG on 61 percent shooting. He shot 1-for-8 for two points in the deciding game.

3. Karl Malone: The Mailman didn't play that badly in the 1997 and 1998 Finals, and he had some bigtime games too. His 37 points in Game 3 of the '97 Finals brought Utah back from the brink, and his 39 points in Game 5 of the '98 Finals staved off elimination and gave the Jazz a chance to come back and win the title at home. But then again, his missed freethrows in Game 1 in '97 (leading Scottie Pippen to quip that "The mailman doesn't deliver on Sundays") and his turnover at the end of Game 6 in '98 both set up two Michael Jordan buzzer-beaters and, of course, two more championships.

2. Larry Bird: The 1984-85 season was a good one for the Celtics. They were the reigning champs, Bird was his second consecutive MVP award, and the team won a league-best 63 games during the regular season. The Celtics seemed like a lock to win back-to-back titles for the first time since the 1960s. But then Bird injured his hand in a bar fight during the Eastern Conference Finals and his shooting percentage dropped from the mid-50s to the low 40s. Not only did they surrender their title to the Lakers, they did it in Boston Garden. Bird was 12-for-28 in the deciding game.

1. John Starks: The New York Knicks lost Game 7 of the 1994 Finals by a score of 90-84. It was a game they could have won, and they would have won it...if John Starks hadn't shot 2-for-18 from the field. During the 2006 NBA Finals, Pat Riley stated publicly for the first time that sitting Rolando Blackman in favor of John Starks during Games 6 and 7 of the 1994 NBA Finals was "the biggest coaching mistake" in his career and stated that he has never forgiven himself for it.

Labels: Chauncy Billups, fake Magic Johnson, John Starks, Kobe Bryant, Larry Bird, Larry Johnson, NBA Finals, Nick Anderson, Patrick Ewing

1994 Knicks/Rockets Finals (nin-teen' nin'-tee-for niks-rahk'-its fi'-nuls) noun. An example of and comparison point for any low-scoring playoff series that is generally regarded as boring and possibly unwatchable.

Usage example: Watching the Cavaliers/Pistons series is almost as painful as the 1994 Knicks/Rockets Finals.

Word Trivia: The 1994 NBA Finals was one of the most competitive championship series in league history. It featured a marquee matchup between two superstar centers (Hakeem Olajuwon and Patrick Ewing) and a cast of other all-star-caliber players (Robert Horry, Sam Cassell, Mario Elie, Charles Oakley, Doc Rovers, Derek Harper, Rolando Blackman). It lasted the full seven games, and there wasn't a single blowout; none of the games were decided by more than nine points, and Games 6 and 7 were decided by two and six points respectively. Olajuwon outplayed Ewing on offense (27 PPG on 50 percent shooting versus 19 PPG on 36 percent shooting), but Ewing was a defensive monster, setting an NBA Finals record with 30 blocked shots, including a record-tying eight blocks in Game 5. However, this series is poorly regarded by most NBA fans for the following reasons:

1. Star bust: It was the first NBA Finals of the first post-Jordan era, and the first final series since 1978-79 that didn't feature Larry Bird, Magic Johnson, and/or Michael Jordan. Due to the absence of an nationally recognized fan favorite, many casual fans were uninterested in the series and therefore neglected to watch it. The series was further marred by Ewing's poor play, John Starks' 2-for-18 shooting performance in Game 7, and the fact that Olajuwon -- who was named Finals MVP -- submitted a performance that was very good in its own right, but hardly among the all-time greats.

2. Defense wins championships...not ratings: The series revolved around defense and, for that reason, the scores were painfully low. In fact, neither team scored more than 93 points in a single game. The scores were as follows: Game 1 - 85-78; Game 2 - 91-83, Game 3 - 93-89; Game 4 - 91-82; Game 5 - 91-84; Game 6 - 86-84; Game 7 - 90-84. Game 6 was the only time a player scored as many as 30 points, when Olajuwon had exactly 30. It was basically a case of two teams walking the ball up the court, tossing it into the post, and four guys spotting up beyond the arc and waiting for the return pass while the centers beat the hell out of each other.

3. The juice was on the loose: The series had the misfortune of being played during the onset of the the O.J. Simpson murder case. During Game 5, NBC split coverage between the game and Simpson's freeway chase with the LAPD. While the Knicks and Rockets were battling down to the wire, the national attention was focused elsewhere.

And so, despite the many rule changes that were instituted specifically to irradicate this kind of grind-it-out basketball, there are still one or two playoff series each year that are highly reminiscent of the '94 Finals (most notably the 2005 Pistons/Spurs Finals, which nearly qualified as an historical recreation). And it's then, like clockwork, that everybody harkens back to the series that defined the term "boring series."

We know these guys were watching.But only because they had to.

Labels: defense, Hakeem Olajuwon, Houston Rockets, John Starks, NBA Finals, New York Knicks, O.J. Simpson, Patrick Ewing

ESPN's Scoop Jackson recently wrote an article that absolutely mystified me. It's called Seeking Out The 10th Man, and it's a moving story about how hard it was for him to pick the tenth best center in NBA history. His list already included Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Hakeem Olajuwon, Bill Russell, Wilt Chamberlain, Shaq, Moses Malone, George Mikan, Bob McAdoo, and Patrick Ewing. After some lengthy consideration, he put Bill Walton in the ten spot ahead of David Robinson.

Uh...what?!

It wasn't the that he chose Walton over The Admiral that got my hackles up. It was the fact that the list includes Patrick Ewing. I just don’t understand how anyone could seriously put Ewing on a "10 Best Centers" list ahead of Robinson. That's ridiculous, and I’m here to tell you why. First, let's review their career stats:


Statistically, it's almost a dead heat, with The Admiral owning a slight advantage in every category. Now let's consider their relative accomplishments.

Rookie of the Year: They were both named Rookie of the Year (in 1986 and 1990, respectively). Edge: Even.

League Scoring Title: Ewing never won a scoring title; Robinson led the league in scoring during the 1994-95 season. Edge: Robinson.

All-Defensive Teams: Ewing made the All-Defensive Second Team three times; Robinson made the All-Defensive First Team four times and he made the Second Team another four times. Edge: Robinson.

All-NBA Teams: Ewing made the All-NBA First Team once and the Second Team six times. Robinson made the First Team four times, the Second Team twice, and the Third Team four times. Edge: Robinson.

Defensive Player of the Year: Robinson won the award in 1992. Ewing never won it. Edge: Robinson.

MVP Awards: Ewing never won the MVP; Robinson was the league's Most Valuable Player during the 1994-95 season. Edge: Robinson.

Championships: Ewing left the game ringless; Robinson won titles in 1999 and 2003. Edge: Robinson.

So Robinson was (slightly) better statistically, has the edge in every major recognition/award category (save for the ROY tie), and can boast two world championships to Ewing's none. How is putting Ewing ahead of Robinson even remotely defensible? Jackson's argument against boils down to this:

"David Robinson never got to the NBA Finals until Tim Duncan got there and even when he did get that first ring he did it against the Knicks when Patrick wasn't playing."

Your biggest gripe about Robinson is that he didn't win a title until Tim Duncan came along. And...? That's not an argument, it's a copout. After all, Kareem didn't win a title until Oscar Robertson came along, and he didn't win another one for almost a decade until Magic Johnson came along. Does that take the shine off of Kareem’s six rings? I doubt it.

For a better example, let's consider Dr. J. He was "The Man" on the 76ers for years, and the team couldn't win the title. They coughed up a 2-0 series lead in the 1977 Finals, failed to capitalize on Kareem's injury in the 1980 Finals, and just plain lost in the 1982 Finals. They didn't win The Big One until 1983, when they added the reigning MVP Moses Malone. Dr. J accepted a secondary role on the team that year, and he played caddy while Moses won the Finals MVP in a 4-0 sweep of the Lakers. The same finger you're pointing at Robinson could just as easily be pointed at The Doctor, so let me ask you this: Would you leave Erving off a list of the Top 10 Forwards of All Time? You'd have to, based on your Ewing-over-Robinson reasoning.

And by giving all the credit to Duncan, you conveniently overlook how instrumental Robinson was in the Spurs' titles. In the 1999 Finals, he averaged 17 points, 12 rebounds, 2 assists, and 3 blocked shots per game. Duncan was named the Finals MVP, but Robinson was, without question, the second-best player on a championship ball club. And they wouldn't have won without him.

Robinson was less of a factor in the 2003 Finals, averaging 11 points, 7 rebounds, 1 assist and 2 blocks over six games. But his defense on Shaq was absolutely crucial to the Spurs dethroning the Lakers in the Western Conference Semifinals. He was also a steady, stabilizing force in the pivot throughout the year and the playoffs.

Scoop's other criticism was that Hakeem Olajuwon dominated Robinson 1995 Western Conference Semifinals. What he neglects to mention is that this occurred during that amazing two-year stretch where Hakeem domainated everyone...including Ewing (in the 1994 Finals) and Shaq (in the 1995 Finals). So, as far as I'm concerned, that evidence is inadmissible.

Look, Robinson should get Ewing's place on that list. Not only does he win out in every category you can think of, not only was he a force on both ends of the court, not only was he an MVP and a champion, he was able to sublimate his ego and accept a lesser role on what had been "His Team" for years. That is something that (by all accounts) Ewing wasn't willing to do with the Knicks, which resulted in the trade that sent him to Seattle and, eventually, a sad end to a hard-fought but ultimately frustrating career. That ending is a stark contrast to The Admiral’s final game, a 13-point, 17-rebound, turn-back-the-clock performance in Game 6 of the NBA Finals.

Labels: David Robinson, ESPN, Patrick Ewing, Scoop Jackson