We showed you Chris Paul do it. We showed you Walter Herrmann TRYING to do it. Now watch with what I can only assume will be schoolgirl glee as Scottie Pippen inbounds the ball off the back of Danny Ainge and retrieves it for an easy dunk...in Game 3 of the 1993 NBA Finals! (Start watching at the 1:58 mark.) This is, without question, the single greatest moment of inbounding history.


Many thanks to Basketbawful reader kaze for tracking this one down.

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Big Baby

Note: First, I'd like to thank Hersey for the photo of Big Baby posing with the Larry O'Brien Trophy. (Supahstah!!) Second, excuse me if this post is rambling and poorly written. I've been waiting 22 years for this. As a consequence: I can't brain today. I have the dumb.

The Los Angeles Lakers: Damn. I mean...damn. Game 6 was a massacre. It was a slaughter of epic, even Biblical proportions. And I'm talking real wrath-of-God type stuff. Fire and brimstone coming down from the sky! Rivers and seas boiling! Forty years Forty-eight minutes of darkness, earthquakes, volcanoes! The dead rising from the grave! Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together...MASS HYSTERIA!

Okay. I think I've reached my quota of Waltonisms for the day.

But seriously, sitting -- and jumping, and dancing, and high-fiving -- through that carnage was the basketball-viewing equivalent of watching a kitten get skinned alive and dropped into a piranha tank. The Lakers lost by 39 points. I'm going to type that out again because I find it strangely erotic: L.A. lost by 39 freaking points. And yes, that is indeed an NBA Finals record for margin of victory in a championship clencher. The Celtics started the game intense, and that intensity seemed to grow and grow and kept on growing until the Laker spirit was broken like a little piece of something that is very breakable.

I have not witnessed a defeat so brutal -- so irrevocably and unquestionably final -- since this one time at Mardi Gras when an unnamed buddy dragged me back out to a bar at 4 a.m. so he could hook up with a skanky waitress who had clearly (to me at least) been flirting with him several hours previously for the express purpose of selling as many shots as possible. We found her crumpled against a wall and looking miserable. She had a tray with three shots left. My buddy went straight up to her and, with all the eagerness of a puppy humping a leg, asked when her shift ended. She said: "As soon as I sell these last three shots, I get to leave." He then asked what she was doing "later" (read that: can we have sex?). She groaned and replied: "I'm going home. I've been working for 12 hours straight. I'm so tired. And before I even came to work, my baby daddy grabbed me by the throat and slammed me against a wall. So it's been a long day." Then she kind of whimpered and added: "Please. I just wanna go home..."

My buddy pulled out a $20 bill and said: "I just want you to be happy." Then he wadded the cash into a ball, stuffed it back into his pocket, and walked away. That is pure and unfiltered superdickery, my friends. I think the poor girl would have burst into tears if she'd had any strength left. Either that or punk-slapped him. One or the other.

(For the record, he claims he does not remember doing this, and that he wouldn't have done it if he hadn't been almost-falling-down drunk. But he still laughs every time I retell the story, so I can't help but wonder...)

I have to admit: I had mixed feelings about the blowout. On the one hand, I loved it. I'm not going to pretend to be one of those fans who wants his team to win in thrilling, last-minute fashion. I like it when they secure the game early so I can wipe the sweat off my hands and just enjoy it. Plus, it eliminates any what-ifs. I mean, had the game been close, we might have had to listen all summer to Laker fans saying it could have gone either way.

On the other hand...it started to feel a little anti-climactic in the fourth quarter. Except for a spurt of aggression here or there, it felt like the Lakers were just playing out the clock. Or maybe it just felt that way. I don't know. It hasn't even been 24 hours and I feel like I'm losing a little perspective. So let me get into some individual insults...

Mark Jackson: This guy has been slobbing Kobe Bryant's knob since the playoffs started. Is he on the Lakers' payroll? Is he an official member of Mamba's posse? What's the deal? It reached the point where I made the conscious decision to smash my TV if I heard him call Kobe "the best player in the world" one more time. (Fortunately for me and my TV, I changed my mind.) During (I think) the second quarter last night, Jackson uttered the following brain-turd: "Paul Pierce realizes that Kobe Bryant is the better player, the best player in the world, but he says 'You know what, that doesn't mean I can't outplay him in a seven-game series.'" As Basketbawful reader Jin pointed out in an e-mail: "I'm not entirely sure, but doesn't outplaying someone in a seven-game series generally mean they aren't better than you, and that they aren't the best player in the world?" Generally, yes, that's exactly what it means.

Bottom line (and I've been saying this for years): Being the best scorer does not mean being the best player. Have we all finally learned this? Michael Jordan just so happened to be both the best scorer and the best player. Kobe is one but not the other. End of argument. (For now.) Speaking of Mamba...

Kobe Bryant: Kobe started out on fire in the first quarter -- 11 points, 4-for-5 shooting, a trio of triples -- just like in Game 5. And just like in Game 5, he cooled off in a big way. Actually, it was worse than a cooling off. It was a freaking Ice Age. Kobe scored 11 points and shot 3-for-15 over the final three quarters. He finished with 3 boards, 1 assist and 4 turnovers. And frankly, his performance didn't even feel that good. I haven't seen Mamba go down that meekly since that infamous Game 7 against the Suns in 2006.

Let it be known far and wide that, for this season at least, the Boston Celtics shut down Kobe Bryant. I mean, I honest-to-goodness stopped fearing him. Up until last night, I had been waiting for Kobe to have an Elgin Baylor game (so named for the time Elgin dropped 61 on the Celtics in the 1962 Finals). It didn't happen. And going into last night's game, I finally realized it wasn't going to happen. Not this year. Not against this team. Not against this defense.

Phil Jackson: The Lakers are young and, once Andrew Bynum gets back, they should be strong enough to contend for a title for the next three or four years (barring injury). So I guess he'll have another few cracks at surpassing Red Auerbach for most titles won by an NBA coach. But it didn't happen this year. Phil was outcoached by the combination of Doc Rivers (who knew exactly how to reach his players) and Tom Thibodeaux (whose defensive schemes, I'm convinced, could hold off an alien invasion). I love that this happened during the same season in which he was inducted into the Hall of Fame.

The best part is, his little faux Zen mind tricks didn't work. And they just made him look like the big, slimy douche he's always been (it just looks better when you're winning). He openly questioned and mocked Paul Pierce after his Game 1 knee injury, which would be fine if he was simply a fan...but as an opposing coach, that was pretty low class. He whined about the officiating in Game 2. He made unsubstantiated claims that Kevin Garnett was talking trash to Kobe after the Celtic comeback in Game 4. And last night he looked simply disgusted with his team for most of the night. And yeah, maybe he had a right to be, but it's hard not to compare his "I can't believe my guys are shitting the bed" reaction to Doc Rivers' "Don't stop believing!" mantra when his team was down 24 in Game 4. Phil's behavior led to greater disintegration. Doc's led to the greatest comeback in NBA Finals history. 'Nuff said.

Pau Gasol: I have dubbed him the Spanish Marshmallow, but now I have to question that decision. I'm not sure he's even that tough. He is soft and week. I read somewhere this morning that he was "terrified" of the expectations put on him by the Lakers organization and fans. Well, I can believe it. Hey, maybe that Kwame Brown trade wasn't such a steal after all. (I'm kidding; it totally was.)

For the record, people should not lay this loss at the feet of Lamar Odom. Yes, he shot 2-for-8. But he went to the line 16 times and had a team-high 10 rebounds. I'm just sayin'...

The Lakers' rebounding: They got pounded on the boards 48-29 and had only 2 offensive rebounds (one each for Kobe and Sasha Voojychick) compared to 14 for the Celtics.

The Lakers' butterfingers: They turned the ball over 19 times. And 18 of those were Celtic steals, which constituted an NBA Finals record for a single game. The Lakers big guns (Kobe, Gasol, Odom) had 12 of those bumbles.

Certain Lakers fans: The Purple and Gold army didn't get to watch Game 6 on the big screen at the Staples Center because of what happened during a similar setup for Game 2: A Celtics jersey was attacked by a mob and struck with a chair. Ultimately, this was probably a good thing for them. But still...what a bunch of idiots. Who does that? Lakers fans, apparently. (And no, I'm not laying this tag on all L.A. fans.)

Certain Celtics fans: Hey guys. I'm happy for the Celtics, too. But don't desecrate Red's statue, mmmkay? There's a right way to celebrate and a wrong way. That's the wrong way.

Speaking of which, several idiots were arrested in Boston after the game for "tearing apart park benches, flipping over flower pots, trash barrels, and newspaper boxes, and trying to light fires with the garbage." What is it about winning that makes people start acting like rabies victims? Want to see some of the damned fools in action? Here you go:

rowdy-fans2

Michelle Tafoya: She provided more proof -- as if we needed any -- that all sideline reporters (with the possible exception of Cheryl Miller) are inane and useless. Look, ABC (and anyone else who broadcasts live sporting events): If you want window dressing, just hire a Hooters girl and show her on air every 10 minutes or so. We don't need updates like "This is taking a lot longer than it should to wash out an eye." Nor do we want them. I didn't just arrive on this planet. I know it takes about two seconds to wash out an eye, okay?

Kevin Garnett: He's my boy and all, but post-game interview with Michelle was insane enough to earn him a lifetime's worth of Tommy Points. I'm not going to say anything else about it. Watch for yourself.


Update! Sam Cassell: Oops. I almost forgot Sam-I-Am. Last night he earned two things: A DNP-CD and an NBA title. His game of championship piggyback is now complete. (Thanks for the reminder, Rainbow Brite.)

Update! NBA.com: Basketbawful readers Austen and Mithat both noticed that NBA.com thought the Lakers won 92-131 last night. And Mithat even got me a screen capture...

NBA

Update! Brian Scalabrine: Best. Press conference. Ever. I never knew Brian had such a cutting wit. Or any wit at all. (Thanks, Danny.)


Update! Me: In today's NBA Closer column on Deadspin, I noted that Rajon Rondo had a great game in the face of the fact that everybody outside of the Boston locker room had given up on him. I had also said, more than once, that he should have been benched in favor of Eddie House or even The Human Gun (aka Sam Cassell). The Lakers has so disregarded his offense that Rondo looked afraid to shoot, especially in L.A. To his credit, he came out aggressive last night. And even though he wasn't hitting early, he kept jacking it up and finished with 21 points on a team-high 20 shots. Moreover, his aggressiveness spilled over onto the defensive end, where he had a game-high 6 steals (the entire Laker team, by contrast, had a total of 4 steals). My point: Doc knew what he was doing in sticking by the kid...and I was wrong.

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Kobe and kids

Note: Do little girls want to be dragged away from their My Little Pony playsets to be put on display at the NBA Finals? Based on this picture, the answer is "very no."

The Celtics in the first quarter: It was like a psychedelic flashback to Game 4, only without the singing pixies and dancing fruit (or was that just me?). Boston started the game out-of-synch both offensively and defensively (and that's putting it kindly). Kevin Garnett got in early foul trouble and had to sit. Kobe went kill-crazy (four three-pointers and 15 first-quarter points). Next thing you know, the Celtics were down by 19 points. The quarter ended Los Angeles 39, Boston 22.

Frankly, I place most of the blame on Doc Rivers. The Celtics optimum lineup right now is KG, Paul Pierce, Ray Allen, James Posey and Eddie House. It's as clear as the nose on Michelle Kwan's face. (By the way, what was up with that potato sack she was wearing last night? You've got a figure skater's body, Michelle. Show it off.) But instead of succumbing to common sense -- like even the dumbest fantasy sports manager would have done -- and using what worked to perfection in Game 4, Doc started Rajon Rondo at the point and Leon Ka-Powe(for the injured Kendrick Perkins) at center.

It was a stupid move that had catastrophic results. By starting Rondo and Powe (who was quickly replaced by P.J. Brown), Doc played right into the Lakers hands. And those hands went straight around the Celtics' collective throat and started choking a bitch.

Like most coaches, Doc wants to stand by the guys who got him to the Finals. Which is fine...when it's working. When it's not, it's like watching somebody with a head wound try to read random words out of a medical text. In other words: Painful. And while a applaud Doc's loyalty, facts are facts: Rajon Rondo is killing the Celtics right now. The Lakers don't have to defend him, and Rondo knows it. He's completely lost confidence in his offensive game. In the first quarter, he drove to the hoop, had an uncontested layup, and then passed back out for a semi-contested three-ball. It was bad. Like, "it hurts when I pee" bad.

When Rondo's on the floor, he's "defended" by Kobe Bryant, who gets to roam around, double-team at will, and gamble for steals (and Mamba had 5 of them last night). And that disrupts everything Boston is trying to do on offense. End the charade, Doc. Bench Rondo. It has to happen. Maybe he'll spend the summer developing a laser-accurate jump shot. Which will be great...for next season. Right now, Rondo like a human bitchslap to his own team.

The Lakers in the second quarter: They had everything in their favor -- momentum, a huge lead, Jack Nicholson's man-boobs -- but it didn't matter. Let it be known that these Lakers are good enough to build a huge lead and then lose it lickety-split. Boston outscored L.A. 30-16 in the second stanza, with Paul Pierce (18 points on a jillion freethrows) playing the part of the One Man Gang. Pierce is good -- maybe better than any of us thought -- but the Lakers made him look positively legendary by playing matador defense, 7-11 defense, and every other kind of bad defense they could think of. And then they had a game on their hands.

Rajon Rondo: Shades of Sherman Douglas. (Yes, I said it.) Rondo played 14 and a half minutes last night, which is about 14 more minutes than he should have gotten. He bricked six of his seven field goal attempts, had two shots blocked, missed a freethrow, passed up an uncontested layup, and prevented his teammates from getting open looks because the Lakers can completely ignore his "offense." But the most crap-tastic sequence of Rondo's night happened in a 30-second span of the third quarter. First, he missed an open four-footer. Then he fouled Fisher on a jump shot, giving up an "unconventional three-point play" (as Mark Jackson put it). After that, he jumped in the air and threw the ball right to the Lakers, who ran it down court and turned it into a three-pointer by Vlaidimir Radmanovic. Disastrous is putting it lightly.

Kevin Garnett: KG had a double-double (13 points, 14 rebounds). He also grabbed 7 huge offensive boards. But he hurt the Celtic cause by getting into foul trouble in the first half. Sure, one of the fouls was of the ticky-tac variety, and there was no contact whatsoever on another. But he earned his third by foolishly slapping at a Pau Gasol shot. As much as I hate to agree with Mark Jackson and Jeff Van Gundy at this point, KG shouldn't have tried to make that play under those circumstances.

Garnett also bonked two crucial freethrows when Boston was trailing 95-93 with 2:31 on the clock, and then he missed a kinda-sorta easy tip-in with 26 seconds left and the Celtics down four. Hey, if I can say Kobe didn't come through in Game 4 -- and he didn't -- then I have to call out KG for not coming through in Game 5. But I'll say this for Garnett; he didn't give any excuses or blame teammates. His personal assessment of his performance was spot-on: "It was trash. I played like garbage tonight. I can do better and I will." Let's hope the second half of that quote turns out to be as true as the first half.

Kobe Bryant, quarters two through four: After his fire-and-lightning first quarter -- 15 points, 5-for-8 shooting -- I figured Mamba was on his way to a 40-point night. But from that point forward, Kobe scored 10 points on 3-for-13 shooting and committed a game-high 6 turnovers. Still, with 41 seconds left and his team up by only two points, Kobe made the play of the game, knocking the ball away from Paul Pierce and then receiving a length-of-the-court pass from Lamar Odom for a gamebreaking dunk.

That said, it was was a dangerous, gambling play. And let's face it: There was a lot of arm and body on that "steal." Had he been anybody but Kobe Bryant, there probably would have been a whistle. And had he not "tipped the ball," Pierce would have been in great position to score or dish to an open teammate. So yeah, it worked and everything...but it was a bad play.

Pau Gasol: The Spanish Marshmallow had a fantastic game: 19 points, 13 rebounds, 6 assists, zero turnovers and a couple blocked shots. (And I'm telling you, it felt like he had three times that many rebounds.) But I have to say this: I am sick and bloody tired of Pau screaming and flailing after every shot he takes inside. At one point in the third or fourth quarter, KG slapped Pau's hand on a layup attempt, after which Pau wailed and flopped to the floor. Manu Ginobili would have been proud, but I just threw up a little.

The shooting of Derek Fisher and Sasha Vujacic: The two guards combined to miss 15 of 20 shots, which isn't exactly the kind of marksmanship that's going to spread the Boston defense and give Kobe room to work.

The incompetence of Luke Walton: As Basketbawful reader Jimmy pointed out, he had more fouls (5) than points (2) passed up on an easy alley-oop to Kobe in order to take a stop-and-popper. A couple of those fouls were committed at halfcourt. I can see that happening once, but twice?!

Ronny Turiaf and Trevor Ariza: They combined for 1 turnover and 2 fouls in just over two minutes of lack-tion.

Jeff Van Gundy and Mark Jackson: Did the Lakers play great? No. Did they almost blow another game in which they jumped out to a ginormous lead? Yes. But this is the Finals, and whether you win by 1 or 100, it's still a W. But that didn't keep coach and mini-coach from freaking out on the Lakers after they had all but wrapped the game up. Said Van Gundy: "If you're the Lakers and want to win it all, you're disappointed in this game. Added Jackson: "You've got to close out games better. You're fortunate to go back to Boston." I guess they ran out of ways to fluff each other up.

Phil Jackson, quote machine: He's always good for a zinger or two. This time, it was aimed at his own team. Although, with him, I guess you never know whether it's supposed to zing or not. Anyway, regarding his team's chances of going on to win two straight in Boston, Phil said: "We're young enough and dumb enough to be able to do this." Young and dumb? Yes. Enough so to be able to break through twice in Boston? TBD.

The 2-3-2 format: As I pointed out last week, this format was instituted for the express purpose of increasing the chances that the Finals would last at least six games. Which is what happened. Because let's be honest: The Lakers would not have won this game in Boston. Somewhere out there, David Stern is being forced to deal with a 10-hour erection.

Larry Bird: As Evil Ted pointed out, it was mentioned on air last night that Larry Legend called Luke Walton to wish him luck in the Finals. Uh, Larry, I hate to point this out to you...but Luke Walton is a Laker. Larry wishing a Laker good luck is like Captain America giving Hitler advice on how to cook people. How far has Larry fallen when he's wishing Lakers players good luck? Don't bother answering that, I'll go ahead and tell you: Very, very far.

Doug Christie: The best thing to come out of the latest chapter of the Tim Donaghy scandal has to be Doug Christie crying about it on his blog (" am devastated to the point of feeling physically sick!"). Here's (to me) the money paragraph: "It's hard enough that you are facing the defending champs, hall of fame players and coaches, but you are also playing 5 on 8 (come on!). This is really disheartening. You work hard, play hard and it's all bull. But, it's what you see and the consumer believes it. Whoever 'they' say are the 'champs' are the 'champs' (deserving or not). 'They' are controlling the whole thing. What really makes me mad in the turn of events since then is the fact that these events have turned into what I consider a black balling of myself in the NBA!!" Huh. And here I thought his wife was the one who was black-balling him. Or maybe she's just blue-balling him...

And here's some bonus Christie, regarding why he's, you know, not playing. "Last season ('07/'08), I go in the gym with the Sonics and Trail Blazers (not to mention the GMs that I spoke to personally) and outplayed 90% of their guys. The only thing my agent told me they were interested in was my relationship with my wife, what happened before, or why did I leave the Clippers??? Truth be told, my family and I were dealing with the same old lies and workers starting trouble with us. I'm not willing to deal with that! I just want to go and play the game that I love. So, that makes me weird, huh?!? Maybe if I was fighting with my wife and flirting with people, I would still be playing or at least going out on my own terms!" I have no comment.

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Epic  Fail poster

Note: Many thanks to Sturla for the graphic. I also used it for today's NBA Closer column on Deadspin.

Ahmad Rashad: I'm going to let Basketbawful reader Sami take this one. "I was watching 'Live at the Finals with Ahmad Rashad' on NBATV an hour before Game 4 began. Ahmad was interviewing Andy Garcia when he asked what I assume to be one of the dumbest sentences ever uttered, to go Bill Walton on you, in the history of Western Civilization: 'Do you think Kobe Bryant is the greatest Laker ever?' (My wording may not be spot on perfect, but that was the question.) Was Rashad even thinking when he asked the question? George Mikan, Jerry West, Elgin Baylor, Wilt Chamberlain (although he was older when he joined the Lakers), Kareem, James Worthy, Shaquille O'Neal, and probably some more that I'm forgetting. Oh, and I think I may have forgotten to mention that one guy...oh yeah! Magic Johnson! Kobe is a great scorer, in the discussion for Top 10 Lakers ever, and possibly Top 5 Lakers. But the greatest? I don't know what to say."

Wow. Me either. Inexcusable question (at this point). Here are my top five Lakers: Magic, Mikan, West, Kareem and Shaq, with Elgin Baylor sixth (thanks CW) and either Kobe or Worthy at number seven. Aw, screw it. Worthy's seventh. He has just as many titles (3) and a Finals MVP to boot (doesn't look like Mamba's getting a Finals MVP this year). And Big Game James never blistered his teammates the way Kobe has over the years.

The Celtics in the first quarter: My memory of it all is very, very blurry. I don't know the psychological term for it is, and I'm too lazy to look it up even though the Internet is only five fingers away. Let's just say I've blocked the details out. Trying to remember them is like trying to read stereo instructions through a dirty ashtray without my contacts on. Bad passes, worse shots, Rondo looking terrified of the ball. At some point, I think when the Lakers were up by 24, ABC flashed a graphic at the bottom of the screen that said the 21-point wound was the largest first-quarter deficit in NBA history. Thanks for making a bad situation feel even worse, ABC.

Random note on Rondo: He has officially become a liability and Doc should yank him out of the starting lineup. You know, a similar thing happened when the Boston Celtics were playing the Detroit Pistons in the 1991 Eastern Conference Semis. Brian Shaw was Boston's starting point guard at the time, and he wasn't just playing poorly, you could see his confidence was shot. Dee Brown, on the other hand, was playing great. But NBA head coaches are always really nervous about making major rotation changes during the playoffs, and Chris Ford was no different. So even though the Celtics were playing much better with Brown on the floor, he stuck with Shaw as the starter and Boston went on to lose the series in six.

And although I think that, at this point, the Celtics can still win with Rondo starting...why take the chance? Did you see Rajon's face when he got pulled in the second half? He had one of those thousand-yard stares going on. If I was on the Celtics, I wouldn't want somebody who looked like they were about to go Private Pyle on somebody running my team with a title on the line. This was the first time all season I thought all those "Matt Maloney on the 1996-97 Houston Rockets" comparisons were justified.

Right now, Boston's best lineup is KG, Paul Pierce, Ray Allen (back from the dead!), James Posey, and Eddie House. There's no question. Doc needs to go with that lineup and sub out (KA-POWE!!) when necessary. Am I wrong?

Boston's end-of-the-half defense: The second quarter was going about as well as I could have hoped. Boston had cut the Lakers' lead to a very reasonable 12 points (51-39) with under a minute to go when Doc Rivers took out Kevin Garnett. Now, I understand why he did it. He didn't want KG to pick up his third foul before the second half because he was going to need a full two quarters out of the DPoY if the Celtics were going to have a shot at winning this one. But almost immediately after KG went out Pau Gasol converted a three-point play. Lakers by 15.

Then, after Rondo hit one of two foul shots, Jordan Farmar ran unmolested three-fourths the length of the court and banked in a three-pointer as time expired. Mind you, Kobe had picked up his third foul and wasn't even on the floor at the time, so it's not like the Celtics were overplaying Mamba and that's why they gave up the shot. As Hubie Brown would say: You always have to stop the ball handler. Always, always, always. Boston didn't do that, and the Lakers killed their momentum and built their lead back to 17 by halftime. What a boner. Now I know how an ant feels when I accidentally sprinkle it with lighter fluid and set it on fire.

The Lakers in the second half: First of all, let me just say, I gave up on this game midway through the third. Yeah, I should have known better. I've been watching the NBA long enough to realize that every team makes a run. But Farmar's three at the half broke my spirit. With the Celtics still down by 20 points, I grabbed a book and went to take a dump. I tuned everything out, forgot about the game, and read a book about zombies.

About 15ish minutes later, I shuffled out of the bathroom like a zombie myself only to hear Mike Breen excitedly saying something like, "And the Celtics cut it to two!"

Huh?

Turns out Boston outscored L.A. 31-15 in the third quarter, and most of that happened during a huge 21-3 run in the final five minutes of the third...during which I was making a donation to the children of Crapistan. I couldn't believe I missed all that, but it's not totally unprecedented. The exact same thing happened in 2007 when the Indianapolis Colts made an historic comeback against the New England Patriots. I walked away from that one, too, only to come back later and find out my team was back in the game. Yes, yes...I truly was the difference in both situations.

But despite Boston's debt management, I still wasn't sold. Teams that have to claw their way back from ginormous deficits on the road rarely have enough to get over the hump at the end (see the Lakers in Game 2). Plus, the Lakers are coached by a Zen Mastery, Hall of Fame coach. As Breen's bleating voice kept reminding me, they also have the best closer in the game in Kobe Bryant. How could the Celtics possibly do this?

This is how: Perkins (bum shoulder) and Rondo (missing confidence) were out, Posey and House were in. Suddenly, instead of having only three scorers on the floor, the Celtics had five. Whether Doc made this decision consciously or whether injuries forced his hand, we may never know. But the Lakers defense -- which really isn't all that good -- appeared to be helpless when forced to cover five capable shooters. This was never more apparent than when Ray Allen walked by Sasha Vujacic for a reverse layup with 20 seconds left, essentially clenching the game. Oh, and it's not like Ray-Ray was fresh; he played all 48 minutes last night.

For your viewing pleasure, here's Sasha -- who shot 1-for-9 last night -- throwing a post-ego-ectomy hissy fit on the L.A. bench. This made me almost as happy as seeing Derek Fisher crying after the Spurs eliminated the Lakers back in '03. Almost.


From Basketbawful reader socalsun: "Regarding that clip of Sasha lashing out at his own team staffer -- that's the sort of thing you get from the Kobe 'curse you publicly for your mistakes' Bryant school of leadership." Speaking of the Mamba...

Kobe Bryant: You guys knew this was coming, right? Kobe was the shining star of last night's Epic Failure. He didn't score in the first half. He finished the game with 17 points on 6-for-19 shooting (although he did have 10 assists). And he was completely unable to impose his will on the game in the fourth quarter, which is his supposed specialty. And let's face it: This isn't a one-game aberration. Mamba has not impressed during the 2008 Finals. He was kinda-sorta spectacular only once: In Game 3. Well, once and a fourth if you count the final quarter of Game 2.

Now, I've been taking heat for ragging on Kobe for years. But here's the thing: I've never denied his greatness. Nor have I failed to give proper respect to his ability to score the basketball. To me, he's among the league's five all-time great scorers (with Wilt Chamberlain, Michael Jordan, Kareem Abdul-jabbar and Karl Malone). My arguments against Mamba have been that he has often been a lousy teammate (there's just no reasonable way to deny this), sometimes lapses into selfishness (although he's been better about that this year than he ever has), ultimately trusts no one but himself (and that's the bleeping truth), and -- SHOCK ALERT!! -- he probably isn't the greatest player of all time.

And you know what? There's no "probably" to it. He's not. The comparisons to Michael Jordan need to stop. Hell, they've needed to stop for almost a decade now. Kobe is not Mike. He will never be Mike. How is this not obvious? Why does this subject come up year after year after year? Let me put it this way: Had Jordan's Bulls been up by 24 points at home in a must-win game in the NBA Finals, do you think there's any way in hell the Bulls would have lost the game? No. Freaking. Way.

And this isn't me hating on Kobe. I'm not being subjective when I say he didn't come through last night. He failed. Imagine if Dirk Nowitzki stumbled in the Finals the way Kobe did last night? Actually, scratch that. Dirk already did it, and he was absolutely crucified for it. Which was unfair then, and it would be unfair now. I'm not suggesting we string Kobe up for losing a big game, because that's happened to many great players before him and it'll happen to many great players after him. But this game should be Exhibits A through Z that Kobe Bryant is Kobe Bryant...and not Michael Jordan.

Update! Stephanie G reminded me about P.J. Brown's dunk on Kobe, which totally reminded me of Kevin Willis' putback slam on Shaq when the Spurs knocked out the Lakers in '03. Here's the video:


Kobe Bryant, quote machine: Paul Pierce specifically asked to guard Kobe in the second half. And, all things considered, he did a damn fine job of it. But when asked about Pierce's D, Kobe was immediately dismissive. "There's no difference [from Ray Allen's defense]. They were determined not to let me beat them tonight. I saw three, four bodies every time I touched the ball." Yes, the Celtics gave help, just like every team in the league has done against Kobe for his entire career. But that's a pretty lame excuse. The fact is, Pierce did a fantastic job of containing and contesting Kobe, and getting help when necessary. Not that I expect Kobe to admit it, but that's what I saw.

But here was Mamba's best post-game quote, in reference to a question about how he would deal with the loss: "Whine about it tonight. Lot of wine...lot of beer...a couple shots...maybe like 20 of 'em... digest it, get back to work. Nothing you can do." Here's the second-best: "We wet the bed. A nice big one, too. One of the ones you can't put a towel over. It was terrible." I've got to admit, that was awesome. Here's the full video from Kobe's press conference.


Update! Random extra: I got the following text this morning from my buddy Craig (who's a huge Lakers fan) from The Association: "I took Kobe's advice and tried about 20 shots...it's worse the next day." To which I replied: "Wow. Then you must have hit more of your shots than Kobe hit of his." His response: "Haha...very hung over. Enjoy it." I will.

Phil Jackson: After the loss, the Zen Master was stunned by typically defiant. "Some turnaround in that game. The air went out of the building. Well, it's not over. This is not over. The series is not over." Technically speaking, no. And sure, anything can happen. The Lakers could come back. But...well, I'm not going to say anything. Anyway, let it be known that Doc Rivers -- who has taken a lot of heat in the press and was recently referred to as the worst coach to ever call plays in the NBA Finals -- thoroughly out-thunk Jackson the Great last night. Phil should stuff that in his peace pipe and smoke it. Maybe he'll have a vision about how to hold onto a 24-point lead.

Fun with photos: Got the following e-mail from Rob of Upside and Motor: "Saw these and my first thought was Basketbawful: Lamar Odom is great at layups. People in LA make signs that make sense. I promise. And Rick Fox shooting us all a very sultry look through the camera." True, true and true.

David Stern: This pretty much sums it up. And so does this.

Update! Advanced stats: Basketbawful reader Mike pointed this out. Tony Allen played two minutes and 15 seconds. He had 1 rebound and was zero for everything else. Yet he had a +/- score of +10. Which was better than Paul Pierce (+9) and Ray Allen (+6). So I guess he was better than either of those guys. Right, Mr. Lenovo?

Update! The Hollywood elite: They may spend most of the game trapped in a money-and-fame-induced stupor, but -- as Yahoo's Ball Don't Lie has shown us -- they sure got pretty weepy when their team pulls the biggest choke job in NBA Finals history.

Update! Me: Okay. I'm ready to admit it. I was wrong. Posey does not suck. That is all.

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quick change

The latest chapter of the Tim Donaghy saga: Talk about casting a pall over the NBA Finals. On the same day that the first feel-good championship series in years -- probably since Lakers-Bulls in 1991 -- finally became competitive, the whole affair was tainted by allegations of game-massaging (at best) and game-fixing (at worst). Talk about your wet blankets.

But before I get into the sordid details, let's back up. Prior to Game 6 of the Eastern Conference Finals, my buddy BadDave asked me what my real opinion was on NBA officiating. Or, as he put it, "Do you think that games are really fixed?"

The short answer was "No."

The long answer was a bit more complicated. With one possible exception (more on that below), I've never felt as though any NBA games were clearly and blatantly fixed. However, I have often felt -- especially during the playoffs -- that the refs carefully and perhaps even consciously control the flow of the game, favoring Team A here, favoring Team B there, to keep things close, make them more exciting...which keeps viewers viewing and is obviously good for business. And of course it's been clear since, like, forever that fouls (and non-fouls) are called differently based on who's playing at home and who's playing on the road.

To me, it's basically like turning on "Computer Assistance" in NBA Live.

But it's not absolute. It's not a clear-cut fix (except in that one notable case I'm going to discuss soon). The players still have to make shots (or not make them, in some cases). Take the first round series between Atlanta and Boston. The Hawks were given much more leeway to play physical at home than they were in the Garden. They were allowed to bump and push and hold just a wee bit more...nothing egregious, but enough to make the Celtics miss tough shots (and get rattled, which they did). And let's face it, it didn't hurt that there was at least one big first-round storyline -- the best team in the league gets taken to the limit by a big-time underdog -- when the Western Conference playoffs, which were supposed to be so competitive, basically sucked.

Take the now-infamous Game 2 of this championship series. The Celtics enjoyed a 38-10 advantage in freethrow attempts that had Phil Jackson and the Lakers faithful freaking out and making wild, even ridiculous allegations. But maybe they aren't all that ridiculous after all.

Donaghy's lawyers filed a letter that -- although it didn't name any names -- claimed the NBA encourages its officials to call bogus fouls to manipulate results while also discouraging them from calling technical fouls on star players to keep them in games and protect ticket sales and television ratings.

As the letter stated: "If the NBA wanted a team to succeed, league officials would inform referees that opposing players were getting away with violations. Referees then would call fouls on certain players, frequently resulting in victory for the opposing team."

But even worse, the letter stated that Donaghy learned in May 2002 that two officials -- refs of the "company men" variety -- were working a best-of-seven series in which "Team 5" was leading 3-2. Then, in the sixth game, they allegedly ignored fouls made by opponent "Team 6" and made phantom calls putting its players at the free-throw line. The letter concluded that "Team 6" won the game and came back to win the series.

It doesn't take a team of super genuises working on the Bat Computer to figure out which game Donaghy was talking about: Game 6 of the 2002 Western Conference Finals.

In that game, which featured the Kings and Lakers playing in Los Angeles, the Lakeshow finished the game with a 40-25 advantage in freethrow attempts. Which in and of itself doesn't seem like that big of a deal until you realize the Lakers got 27 freethrow attempts in the fourth quarter alone.

I watched that travesty live, and it was one of the worst things I've ever seen. In point of fact, that game was The Reason why we invented the term The Stern Button. (It even says so in the entry.) And it wasn't just a case of the Lakers getting every call, it reached such ridiculous lengths that Sacramento players were actually jumping out of the way of L.A. players and still getting called for fouls. It was crazy.

That game caused Ralph Nadar to write a strongly-worded and accusatory letter to David Stern, and Washington Post sports columnist Michael Wilbon said: "I have never seen officiating in a game of consequence as bad as that in Game 6....When Pollard, on his sixth and final foul, didn't as much as touch Shaq. Didn't touch any part of him. You could see it on TV, see it at courtside. It wasn't a foul in any league in the world. And Divac, on his fifth foul, didn't foul Shaq. They weren't subjective or borderline or debatable. And these fouls not only resulted in free throws, they helped disqualify Sacramento's two low-post defenders. And one might add, in a 106-102 Lakers' victory, this officiating took away what would have been a Sacramento series victory in 6 games."

And now is very possible that, as many people suspected, the game may actually have been fixed.

It's enough to make Scott Pollard cry. "If it was proven that it was -- I don't know how it could ever be proven that it was -- that would hurt. That would hurt the league, it would hurt my feelings, it would hurt everybody. That's ugly. You don't want that to be true. I don't want it to be found out that that was true. I would much rather live with human error than human interference."

As you would expect, Stern's response was arrogant and dismissive, which is his typical modus operandi. Said the Commish (in a sort of summary): "My reactions to Donaghy's lawyer are that clearly as the date of sentencing gets closer and the things that he's thrown against the wall haven't stuck, he's rehashing a variety of things that have been given to the U.S. attorney and the FBI, fully investigated and are baseless. He's a desperate man and he'll make whatever allegation he can at the most propitious time somehow I think to manipulate the process. We're confident that the FBI and the U.S. Attorney's office and the Court will not be taken in by his activities."

And Phil Jackson, who's always been eager and quick to attach an asterisk to the victories of his enemies, was quick to both repudiate allegations and direct everyone to "injustices" leveled against the Lakers earlier in that 2002 series. "The allegation was that they were extending the series? Was that after the fifth game after we had the game stolen away from us after a bad call out of bounds and gave the ball back to Sacramento and they made a three-point shot? There's a lot of things going on in these games and they're suspicious, but I don't want to throw it back to there." God, I hate Phil Jackson sometimes.

Anyway, who knows what the "truth" is at this point? But whatever the case, it was a dark day for the NBA, for officiating, and for the Finals game that, sadly, had to take a back seat to this whole mess. Which totally sucked the enjoyment out of it for me. So if this post seems a little angry, it probably is.

Shooting: The Celtics shot 35 percent from the field. The Lakers, by contract, shot a relatively blistering 43 percent. Of course, if you take away Sasha Vujacic (7-for-10) and Kobe Bryant (12-for-20), they shot 28 percent (11-for-39). It was an ugly brick-a-palooza. As Phil Jackson put it: "It was not a beautiful ballgame." But the Zen Master shrugged it off as a simple problem of jet lag. "That's a transition game from East Coast to West Coast. But we'll have a day to catch up tomorrow and hopefully both of us will play better basketball on Thursday night."

Kevin Garnett: Why oh why does KG insist on jacking up shots from the outside? Dig it: 15 of his 21 shots were jumpers. He shot 6-for-21, by the way. Although maybe he knew what he was doing; according to the short chart, Garnett was 0-for-3 on layups and only 2-for-3 on dunks. But in all seriousness, KG needs to take most of his shots from the inside and only a handful from the outside...not the other way around.

Paul Pierce: Think the Lakers fans will believe Pierce's knee is hurt now? His mobility, particularly on drives, was severely limited and he finished the game with only 6 points on 2-for-14 shooting. He missed all four of his three-pointers. The truth is...the Truth sucked in Game 3.

Leon Powe: After his 21-points-in-15-minutes performance in Game 2, everybody was screaming for Doc to get more PT for Leon. But Powe was almost totally ineffective in the six minutes he played in Game 3: 1 point (0-for-3), 2 rebounds, 1 turnover and 2 fouls. Oh, and two of his three shots were fed back to him. That's why he's a reserve: He' not going to be dynamite every night. And I guess Doc realizes that, even if nobody else does.

Sam Cassell: Holy crap, this guy shoots the rock like it's going to explode. He touches it, he shoots it. I thought Sam was a wily veteran. What is he even thinking out there? It's a joke. Even the announcers are openly mocking his gunnery.

The Lakers not named "Mamba" or "The Machine": Derek Fisher (1-for-6). Pau Gasol (3-for-9). Lamar Odom (2-for-9). Vladimir Radmanovic (1-for-4). Luke Walton (0-for-3). It's like there was a shooter's version of mononucleosis going around the Lakers locker room. I can only hope that Kobe and Voojeychick catch it by Game 4.

Kobe Bryant, world's greatest teammate: Mamba wants the world to know he both calmed and inspired his teammates after the Lakers stumbled into an 0-2 series hole. Just ask him. "What I tried to do with my teammates is just stay calm. It wasn't the end of the world. They did a great job of defending home court. We knew we had to come here and do the same. They feed off of my confidence and I have all the confidence in the world that we can come here and win."

Whatever. Look. Kobe's great. There's no question. He's one of the most amazing scorers in the history of the game. But the guy's an unremitting ass. He went bleep-crazy on the rest of the Lakers in Game 2. He stares them down. He glowers at them when they make mistakes. I don't care if you love Kobe or you hate him, if you were playing basketball with somebody who treated you the way Kobe treats his teammates you would hate his guts. I guarantee it.

Curt Shilling was sitting behind the Lakers bench during Game 2 in Boston, and he made some pretty interesting observations on his blog: "Kobe. This one stunned me a little bit. Who doesn't know Kobe Bryant right? I only know what I have heard, starting awhile back with the entire Shaq debacle. I don't really have an opinion one way or the other on or about him other than to know that people feel he might be one of the 4-5 greatest players to ever lace it up. What I do know is what I got to see up close and hear, was unexpected. From the first tip until about 4 minutes left in the game I saw and heard this guy bitch at his teammates. Every TO he came to the bench pissed, and a few of them he went to other guys and yelled about something they weren’t doing, or something they did wrong. No dialog about 'hey let's go, let's get after it' or whatever. He spent the better part of 3.5 quarters pissed off and ranting at the non-execution or lack of, of his team. Then when they made what almost was a historic run in the 4th, during a TO, he got down on the floor and basically said 'Let's f'ing go, right now, right here' or something to that affect. I am not making this observation in a good or bad way, I have no idea how the guys in the NBA play or do things like this, but I thought it was a fascinating bit of insight for me to watch someone in another sport who is in the position of a team leader and how he interacted with his team and teammates. Watching the other 11 guys, every time out it was high fives and 'Hey nice work, let's get after it' or something to that affect. He walked off the floor, obligatory skin contact on the high five, and sat on the bench stone faced or pissed off, the whole game. Just weird to see another sport and how it all works. I would assume that's his style and how he plays and what works for him because when I saw the leader board for scoring in the post season his name sat up top at 31+ a game, can't argue with that. But as a fan I was watching the whole thing, Kobe, his teammates and then the after effects of conversations. He'd yell at someone, make a point, or send a message, turn and walk away, and more than once the person on the other end would roll eyes or give a 'whatever dude' look."

Of course, when he heard about it Phil Jackson -- the same guy who blasted Kobe to tiny bits in a first-person, tell-all book a few years back -- got all bent out of shape that people might (GASP!) find out what an asshat Kobe can be. "I've been against [fans sitting close to the bench] for as long as I've been coaching. Those people don't belong there, somebody is going to get hurt. But that becomes part of what the NBA is about, being close to the action and close to the scene. We have to suffer the consequences because of it." Considering the fact that he wrote that above-mentioned book, that statement sure makes Phil seem like a bit of a hypocrite. But at least he's a very Zen-like hypocrite.

Kobe's freethrow shooting: I'm not even going to get into the officiating, but Mamba got his calls in Game 3...and 18 freethrow attempts. Amazingly, he missed seven of them. Crazy for somebody who's normally so clutch.

Update! Doc Rivers, quote machine: Doc took the "high ground" after his team loss the freethrow battle to the Lakers. Said Doc: "I'm just surprised [Jackson] didn't whine about the fouls tonight. I told our guys, 'Listen, you had a chance to win but don't be delusional. That team attacked you, they were the aggressor. That's why they went to the foul line. They deserved it.' I told them I didn't want to hear about Coach Jackson complaining and that's why. No that's not why. They played harder, they drove to the basket and they deserved to go to the foul line." Doc might not be half the coach Jackson is, but at least he's got a little something Phil doesn't have: Class.

Update! Mark Jackson and Jeff Van Gundy: Basketbawful reader jodial observed that: "Your 'Worst of the Night' should have included J. Van Gundy and M. Jackson's impassioned on-the-air claims that 'you don't have to win a championship to be a champion.' Huh?! Sounds like a couple of guys who never won championships talking!" True dat. I mean, no offense to guys like Barkley, Ewing, Malone, Stockton, and Wilkins...but you're only a champion if you're, you know, a champion.

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freaky fans

Editor's note: Due to some serious technical difficulties, I can't check email or use Blogger's editing functions (i.e., I can't insert links and such). So sorry for the lack of references and I apologize if I missed any cool submissions. Hopefully Al Gore will fix the Internet soon.

The Lakers for the first 40ish minutes: They were flat and stagnant on offense. They were listless and lazy on defense (a fact that was highlighted by Leon Powe's coast-to-coast -- and completely uncontested -- fourth-quarter slamma-jamma). They whined and flailed around after every call and no-call that didn't go their way (more on that below). In short: They were a complete embarrassment to the sport of basketball. And, not surprisingly, they found themselves down 95-71 with 7:55 remaining.

Kobe Bryant, quote machine: At some point during the fourth quarter, Kobe waded through the flotsam and jetsam of what was turning into a historic ass-whupping and went curse-crazy on his 'mates in the team huddle. And Mamba described his Matt Foley-esque motivational speech like this: "Get our bleep in gear. Play bleep harder, a bunch of other bleeps. It's beep, beep, beep, beep. 'Eddie Murphy Raw' times 10."

The Celtics for the last 7ish minutes: On paper, Boston played the perfect game: They shot 53 percent from the field and 9-for-16 from three-point range, won the freethrow battle by a lot (more on that below), won the rebounding battle by a little, registered an amazing 31 assists on 36 baskets -- how is that not a record? -- and took a 2-0 series lead in the NBA bleeping Finals. But as hollow victories go, this one feels about as empty as my grandpa's wooden leg. The Celtics were up by 24 with just under eight minutes to go. They were still up by 16 with 3:38 remaining. Yet that overpowering lead was cut to only two with 38 ticks left on the clock. And there wasn't a Celtic fan on this planet or any other who wasn't pissing him or herself.

How? Why?! Well, the Lakers got fired up, obviously. They got hot, too (L.A. outscored Boston 41-25 in the fourth by shooting 14-for-21 from the field and hitting seven three-pointers). But the biggest reason is that the Celtics just went to sleep. You could see it on offense, where they were simply trying to eat up as much clock as they could. You could see it on defense, where they stopped aggressively pursuing L.A.'s long-distance shooters. It was obvious they simply expected the Lakers to roll over and die quietly. You could read it on their faces, especially Paul Pierce's, with the way he was grinning and giggling all over the court (especially after he got called for travelling on a three-point attempt and nearly started humping the referees leg).

Doc Rivers certainly recognized what was going on. "We've got to play through the game for 48 minutes, and I didn't think we did that. I thought we got cute when we got the lead." True enough. But there's one problem with that statement: Isn't Doc, above anyone else, supposed to keep all that cutesy-pie stuff from happening? The Celtics might have decided to take the rest of the night off, but Doc was the one who let 'em do it.

And it's not like this is a one-game aberration. Boston twice frittered away big leads against the Pistons in the Eastern Conference Finals. And, like last night, they won both of those games...but it's still a disturbing trend. Because if they keep screwing around, one of these nights they're going to lose that way. Hopefully, Game 2 was a wakeup call.

Update! Evil Ted thinks that the almost-comeback might actually benefit the Celtics: "From a psychology standpoint, Game 2 worked out about as well as it could have for the Celtics. After building a huge lead, the Celtics had an enormous competitive letdown (which, in my estimation, began when LEON POWE went coast-to-coast uncontested) that nearly allowed the Lakers to steal the game. For the Celtics: they learned a valuable lesson about 'losing your competitive edge' and let still managed to win the game. For the Lakers: instead of going into game 3 with an 'us against the world' and a 'we must prove ourselves' attitude that would naturally come from being decisively blown out, they crawled back into the game and nearly pulled off one of the greatest comebacks in Finals history. Instead of making the Lakers feel "comfortable" for Game 3, it could just as easily strip them of the fury (and of Phil Jackson's potential 'bulletin board material') that would have come from a more humiliating loss."

Bob Delaney, Dan Crawford, Ken Mauer: Ah, once again the Officiating Menace rears it's ugly heads. Let it be known far and wide that the Celtics got a 38-10 freethrow advantage last night. Leon Powe -- who was amazing with 21 points in 15 minutes -- got more free throws than all of the Lakers combined (13-10). Not, it isn't as though Powe or the Celtics didn't earn their trips to the line; they were aggressive and they were clearly getting hit. The Lakers were getting hit too...they just weren't getting the calls. And in case you were wondering, the answer is: Yes, it had an effect on the game.

It's a damn shame, too, considering that Game 1 was so officiated so fairly. As I've said about a jillion-kazillion times before, all I want as a fan of the game is consistency in how the game is called. And when there isn't any, even when it favors my team, it makes me a little sick to my stomach.

Update! Vladimir Radmanovic's "breakaway dunk": This was an unforgivable omission by me on the first go-around. Thanks to Josh for the following reminder: "I can't believe you didn't mention the unfathomable no-call on Radmanovich's steal/breakaway dunk with a few minutes left...dude walked halfway to L.A. on that play." You're so very right, Josh. My bad. Here's the video:


The Lakers' bitching and moaning: There's no question they deserved more calls than they got (although probably not as many as they think they should have gotten). One terrible no-call that springs to mind was a Kevin Garnett "block" on Pau Gasol that was all forearm. The problem is, after suffering a handful of uncalled thwacks and watching Powe put on a freethrow shooting exhibition, the Lakers totally lost their composure. They started complaining and overreacting after almost every miss, regardless of how much contact was or wasn't made. Kobe was cursing at the officials and eventually got T'd up for it.

Quick lesson, kids: Yelling at the refs is not going to win them over to your way of thinking. And it didn't do the Lakers any good last night. I wouldn't be surprised if their whining actually cost them some calls they might otherwise have gotten. Because that's what happens, just like makeup calls happen.

Phil Jackson, never one to shy away from blasting anyone in his path, had plenty to say about the officiating. "I'm more struck by the fact that Leon Powe gets more foul shots than our whole team does in (Powe's) 14 minutes of play. That's ridiculous. You can't play from a deficit like that; that we had in that half, 19-2 in the first half. I've never seen a game like that in all these years I’ve coached in the Finals. Unbelievable. I think my players got fouled, I have no question about the fact my players got fouled and didn't get to the line. Specifically I can enumerate a few things, but I'm not going to get into that." Oh, heavens no. Clearly he doesn't want to get into that.

The Lakers coach wasn't the only one riding in the wah-mbulance last night. Kobe did it do, although subtly ("Guys were getting hit going to the basket and not always being called.") while Sasha Vujacic stated his case a little more clearly ("You can't do anything because if you do anything they're going to go to the line. We went to line 10 times. It will be a different story in L.A.").

That's an interesting excuse for L.A.'s lackluster defensive effort (presumably that's why none of the Lakers wanted to so much as wave a red cape in front of Powe during his last mad dash to the basket). But in my experience, showing up the refs during the game and blasting them in the press doesn't really benefit a team. At least, not immediately. I kind of expect the officiating to be fairly even in Game 3 and then tilt pretty far in the Lakers favor in Game 4. But we'll see.

Sam Cassell: E.T. was in the game for about half a second before he forced up his first shot. The dude has become a straight-up gunner. And he was shooting blanks last night (0-for-2 in 6 minutes). It's gotten so bad that even Mark Jackson and Jeff Van Gundy are making fun of him (one of them, I forget which, responded to a rare Cassell non-shot by saying, "Look, Sam actually passed the ball this time" or something to that effect).

Mark Jackson: Listen to Mark lose his bleeping mind and compare Leon Powe to...well, just listen for yourself.


The NBA: Notice how they added a center line to the court for Game 2? How is it they didn't think of that any earlier?

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Bird and Magic

Note: Thanks to Ryan R. for the graphic.

This is Part 8 of our The Worst of Celtics-Lakers series. This was the infamous "Lakers Revenge" series, where L.A. finally beat the Celtics in the Finals...in Boston Garden no less. And I will now throw up in my mouth.

1985 NBA Finals

Be careful what you wish for: As noted in Part 7, Magic Johnson pretty much blew the '84 Finals with costly turnovers and missed freethrows. He became so depressed afterward that Kevin McHale started calling him "Tragic Johnson" and Larry Bird was gracious enough to openly invite another showdown with the Lakers in the Finals: "I'd like to give them the opportunity to redeem themselves. I'm sure they have guys who feel they didn't play up to their capabilities."

Cedric Maxwell: 1984-85 was not a good season for Cornbread Maxwell. First, he held out of training camp because of a contract dispute. Then, in February, he underwent arthroscopic knee surgery and missed 25 games (which was, essentially, the rest of the regular season). When Maxwell finally returned for the playoffs, it was clear that he hadn't fully recovered, and some people in the Celtics organization -- Red Auerbach in particular -- felt that Max hadn't fully committed himself to rehabbing his knee. This enraged Auerbach, particularly since the team had given in and signed Max to a big contract extension after he had held out. To make matters worse, Cornbread openly sulked that he didn't get his starting job back (K.C. Jones decided to leave Kevin McHale, who had been on fire in Maxwell's absence, in the starting lineup). So between the subpar play and his attitude, Jones and the rest of the Celtics lost faith in the man who had taken them to the promised land in Game 7 of the '84 Finals...and he became firmly rooted to the useless Boston bench. (More on that later.)

Fun fact: Maxwell once said: "You know what I like to do in the offseason? I like to get in my big, fancy car, drive around to construction sites, and watch guys work. Then I roll down the window and say, 'Guess what boys? I got nothing to do today.'"

The new 2-3-2 format: The NBA, in collusion with CBS, had opted on a new 2-3-2 format for the NBA Finals. The company line was that the change was made to cut down on travel. This, of course, was complete and utter shenanigans. It was done for money, not to save the teams and media a few bucks on travel expenses. As Peter May explained: "CBS needed a series of at least six games to make a profit, and the chances of a six-game series were better with a 2-3-2 format." Proof positive that this decision was not made for basketball purposes: The format has remained 2-2-1-1-1 for every other playoff round. Anyway, the biggest problem with the revised format is that it forces the team with homecourt advantage to play Game 5 on the road. And most NBA experts and players -- and Larry Bird is prime among them -- feel strongly that Game 5 is the most pivotal game of any playoff series.

The Lakers in Game 1: This game has become known as The Memorial Day Massacre, and for good reason: The Celtics won it 148-114. Everybody on the Boston roster was on fire that day, particularly Scott Wedman who shot an NBA Finals record 11-for-11 from the field (including 4-for-4 from three-point range). As K.C. Jones put it: "It was one of those days where if you turn around and close your eyes, the ball's gonna go in." Meanwhile, Kareem was a complete loss: He found himself in early foul trouble, got embarrassed by Robert Parish (who repeatedly ran by the 38-year-old legend like it was a layup drill), and finished with only 12 points and 3 rebounds. (His performance was so bad that he personally apologized to Oh, and the Celtics owned a 63-43 advantage on the boards (Magic pulled down only 1 rebound; he had been averaging 7 RPG for the playoffs).

The Celtics in Game 2: They should have been ready. They should have realized that they wouldn't get all those extra points from Game 1. But they didn't. The Lakers fastbreaked their way to a 21-6 lead which they extended to 18 by halftime. Boston made a run to get back into it, but lost the game -- and homecourt advantage -- with a 109-102 loss. Larry Bird had 30 points and 12 rebounds, but shot only 9-for-21 and committed a team-high 5 turnovers. Dennis Johnson was 6-for-18. Cedric Maxwell was 0-for-1 and had zero rebounds in 11 minutes of lack-tion. Quinn Buckner had a two trillion. And Robert Parish, who sprained an ankle in the second quarter, was destroyed by Kareem (30 points, 17 rebounds, 8 assists, 3 blocks).

The Celtics in Game 3: As Hubie Brown would say, this game was "chippy" -- Boston reserve Ray Williams was tossed for punching Kurt Rambis and Bob McAdoo and Kevin McHale got double-technicals for roughing each other up. And, believe it or not, the Celtics were ahead 48-38 midway through the second quarter. That's when they got Showtimed. The Lakers went on a 27-11 run to end the half and continued pummeling Boston en route to a 136-111 arse-kicking. The Celtics shot 43 percent (compared to 54 percent for L.A.) and got pounded on the boards (63-48). Larry Bird shot 8-for-21, Dennis Johnson was 3-for-14 and Robert Parish (6-for-14) was once again handed his jock by Kareem (26 points, 14 rebounds, 7 assists, 2 steals, 2 blocks).

The Lakers, having learned a lesson from the Celtics' physical tactics in '84 were now bumping and hitting their foes at every opportunity. As Mitch Kupchak, who was then playing for L.A., put it: "All I did was bang in 1985." Lakers assistant coach David Wohl put the team's new "hit 'em hard and hit 'em often" tactic into the following perspective: "They keep stealing your lunch money and every day it's another quarter until you finally get fed up and whack him. Our guys are tired of having their lunch money taken away."

Since the Boston bench was non-existent (more on that later), the starters were getting worn down, leading McHale to complain: "They're beating us on the boards. They're beating us up." Bird, meanwhile, wanted to settle things in the Forum parking lot. "I don't know if the league is up for that, but the Celtics are." You'd think Larry would have had his fill of fighting by now (more on that later).

Larry Spriggs: He had a one trillion in the Lakers' 107-105 loss in Game 4.

K.C. Jones: He had been playing the hell out of the starters all series, and he did it again in Game 5. Dennis Johnson played all 48 minutes, Kevin McHale played 46, Larry Bird and Robert Parish both played 44. Only two players got off the Boston bench: Scott Wedman (19 minutes) and Cedric Maxwell (1 rebound and 1 foul in 5 minutes). Meanwhile, he earned two technicals -- and an ejection -- for arguing with the officials. The Celtics, down by as many as 18, cut the lead to 4 on four different occasions during the final quarter but eventually succumbed 120-111. And the starters, to a man, looked absolutely and utterly spent.

Given the circumstances, Jones should have cut the team's losses and saved his starters for Game 6. But he didn't, and the team paid for it.

Fun fact: James Worthy was poked in the eye in Game 5, and the injury forced him to wear goggles in Game 6. He would go on to wear them for the rest of his career. Just in case you were wondering about that.

Johnny Most: The late, great Celtics radio man opened his Game 6 broadcast by telling everybody that Kurt Rambis had just crawled out of a sewer. Ah, you've gotta love a homer.

The Celtics in Game 6: [Insert the depressing music here.] By losing this game, the Celtics not only surrendered their title, they not only lost to the hated Lakers, they lost the championship series in the Boston Garden for the first time in franchise history. It was a dark day...a very dark day. Larry Bird scored 28 points, but he took 29 shots to do it (and he missed 17 of them). Dennis Johnson and Danny Ainge were a combined 6-for-31. And Robert Parish (5-for-14) was once again demolished by the oldest man in the league (Kareem had 29 points, 7 rebounds and 4 assists despite battling foul trouble all night and eventually fouling out). The game was actually tied 55-55 at halftime, but the Celtics ran out of gas in the second half, mostly because of...

The Boston bench: The Celtics starters played all but 26 of the 240 possible minutes in Game 6. Over the last two games, they played 430 of 480 minutes. Cedric Maxwell, M.L. Carr, Quinn Buckner, Ray Williams, and Carlos Clark didn't play a single minute in the final game. And the Boston starters played every single minute of the second half. But while the bench was Big Reason #2 that the Celtics failed in 1985, Big Reason #1 is...

Larry Bird: Larry won his second MVP in 1985. During the regular season, he averaged 28.7 PPG, 10.5 RPG and 6.6 APG while shooting 52 percent from the floor. Yet he went belly-up in the Finals, shooting 44 percent for the series (and only 42 percent after Boston's killer Game 1). Bird's shooting woes were credited to the outstanding defensive play of Michael Cooper (who after the previous year's Finals had taken video tapes of Bird on his family vacation), in addition to the Lakers solid anti-Bird defensive schemes. As David Wohl put it: "In 1985, we had three, maybe four guys on Larry. We wanted to pressure him all the time. We wanted to deny him the ball, just make him work to even catch it. I think we were more relentless in that series, and in the last two games I think it caught up with them."

And while all that is true, there's more to the story.

Bird started the playoffs on fire and was averaging 30 points (on 50+ percent shooting) and 10 rebounds up until Game 3 of the Eastern Conference Finals. That's when Larry's production really began to fall off. He then averaged 16 PPG and 6.3 RPG for the rest of that series and only 23 PPG and 8 RPG in the Finals. So...what happened?

Larry was already struggling with existing back and elbow injuries when he showed up to Game 3 of the Eastern Conference Finals with a heavily bandaged right index finger (this, by the way, was the same finger that had been mangled in a college softball game before Larry's rookie season). The injury hadn't occurred in a game and nobody within the Celtics organization would comment on it. And while the press sort of left it alone until after the playoffs, it became a three-ring media circus over the summer (well, in Boston, anyway). The story ran in both the Boston Herald and the Boston Globe. And here are as many of the facts as may ever be known (since Larry himself has chosen to never publicly discuss it):

On May 16, 1985 -- the off-day between Games 2 and 3 of the Eastern Conference Finals -- Larry, Quinn Buckner and Larry's friend Nick Harris went to a Boston bar named Chelsea's. At some point in the evening, Larry got into a fight with a man named Mike Harlow (who was a bartender from a nearby bar named Little Rascals and a former college football player) in an alley next to Chelsea's. During fight, Larry knocked Harlow the hell out and injured his right index finger.

Now, there are two versions of why the fight took place. In version one, Larry's friend Harris had been beaten up by Harlow (allegedly for repeatedly hitting on Harlow's girlfriend) and Larry came to Harris' five-fingered rescue. In version two, Larry made the advances on Harlow's girlfriend and that was why the two men fought (although that story didn't explain why Harris got beaten up first).

Either way, Harlow was hurt badly enough (or pretended to be hurt badly enough) to be admitted to Massachusetts General Hospital after the fight. He then filed a lawsuit against Larry. But before it went to trial, and out-of-court settlement was reached (for somewhere between $15,000 and $21,000) and the documents were sealed.

The fact that this happened while Larry was hanging out with Harris wasn't a big surprise. According to the Boston Herald, Harris (then a 39-year-old used car salesman) had previously been convicted for selling drugs, fixing odometers, and "fraudulent bookkeeping." The Celtics didn't want Larry hanging out with his shady buddy, and they had even asked the Massachusetts State Police to run a background check on Harris (the Celtics denied this, although the state police confirmed it). It was also reported that the Celtics had specifically asked Larry to end his friendship with Harris and Larry refused (though both parties denied it), while Bird's agent, Bob Woolf, "literally begged" Larry's close friends to convince Larry to ditch Harris. Eventually, after the Finals, Larry did so.

So yeah, the Lakers played great and the Boston bench sucked. But it is also quite possible -- even probable -- that Larry Bird cost the Celtics the 1985 NBA championship.

Even more sour grapes: Kevin McHale remained convinced that the Celtics should have won it all in '85. And years later he was still talking about it. "We had a better team than they did that year. Max got hurt and everything, but they came to the Garden not thinking they could be us in that sixth game, no way. We had played like crap. We shot the ball poorly. If we had played well that sixth game, I'm not sure they'd have showed up for the seventh game. They were a great team and all, but they did not believe at that point that they could beat us. That was a turning point for them." Uh, sure, Kevin. Whatever you say.

Jerry Buss and Pat Riley, quote machines: After the game, Buss told Brent Musburger: "This trophy removes the most odious sentence in the English Language. It can never be said again that 'the Lakers have never beaten the Celtics.'" Riley added: "They can no longer mock us as they did a year ago." I will now throw up in my mouth again...

Sources: NBA.com, Wikipedia, Basketball-reference.com, Ever Green by Dan Shaughnessy, Drive: The Story of My Life by Larry Bird and Bob Ryan, The Big Three by Peter May, Larry Bird: The Making of an American Sports Legend by Lee Daniel Levine, and this awesome Web site that has box scores for every NBA Finals through 2003.

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I was perusing the Yahoo images from last night's game, and I saw this great ass-out image of Pau Gasol playing face-up defense on Kevin Garnett.

Pau stance

I knew I'd seen this awkward squat somehwhere before, and after a little poking around -- I swear by all that's holy that wasn't a pun -- I found it. (Sidenote: Is Timmy giving Pau an off the heezy?)

Pau stance 2

Sure, it's the proper defensive stance and everything, but, well, there's no blunt way to put this: It looks like Pau's taking a very uncomfortable (and probably unsatisfying) dump. Which, of course, reminded me of the classic defecating Pau Gasol "action" figurine... which is still available for only 14.00 Euros!

Poop Gasol

Whew. And I was worried I wouldn't be able to work in any poop jokes today.

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Old Celtics

Kobe Bryant: Ah, sweet Mamba...how I've missed thee. He struck for 24 points on 26 shots while shooting only 34 percent from the field. He had 6 assists -- most of which came in the first half -- but also committed a game-high (tied with Ray Allen) 4 turnovers. For what it's worth, he also had by far the worst +/- score on the team (-13). Unless I'm very much mistaken, Kobe tried to use his patented "Defer to my teammates in the first half, then turn it on in the second half" strategy. Only he never really turned it on. And, as pointed out on TrueHoop today, he was clearly getting frustrated and gave at least one teammate the stink eye.

I'm sure he was upset because the Celtics did exactly what they wanted to do (and what most of the series previews said they had to do): They kept him out of the paint, didn't foul, and turned him into a jump shooter. Scratch that. An unsuccessful jump shooter. However, Kobe -- being Kobe -- will not be dismayed by one sub-par performance. Said Mamba: "I had some good looks, they just didn't go down for me. I just missed some bunnies. I'll be thinking about those a little bit." Here's a Kobe-to-English translation for you: "Yes, I shot poorly, and yeah, maybe I took some bad shots. But I'm Kobe motherfucking Bryant, so I'm going to shoot, shoot, and keep on shooting whenever and wherever I think best."

So this is where Kobe's newfound maturity and MVPism will be put to the test. Will he shake it off and remain the unselfish, team-first Kobe many people have come to love (or at least appreciate) this season, or will he revert back into the Mamba? My guess: The former. And I have this nauseous feeling that the Lakers are going to win Game 2.

Update! I should have noted that Kobe's bad performance, like Garnett's, was limited to the second half, as DeMeco Shall Inherit The Earth pointed out today in my NBA Closer column: "No mention of the two different Kobe's that showed up? First half Kobe was dishing the ball, getting his teammates (especially Gasol) open looks, and getting his team up by 5 at the half. Second half Kobe--especially fourth quarter Kobe--was taking awkward 18-footers into double-teams and dribbling around for 15 seconds without passing. What the fuck caused the change?"

Mike Breen and Mark Jackson: These girls got a little too excited about the nine shots that Kobe did make last night. I mean, it was like they had an vagina-gasm each and every time Mamba made a bucket. Mind you, Kobe converted some tough hoops to get them all frothing at the mouth, but let's face it...some of those were not good shots. Or, rather, they were "good" only in that they went in. It may be impressive -- no, damn impressive -- when Mamba is hitting what should be impossible shots. But while Breen and Jackson were humping the broadcasting table, Doc Rivers was nodding his head and saying, "Yup, yup, that's what we want: Kobe fading, falling away, and shooting while off-balance."

Update! Mark Jackson and Jeff Van Gundy: Basketbawful reader David reminded me of a continuing problem involving these two platonic lovers. "This isn't something that happened just last night (it's an ongoing thing) but am I the only one annoyed by Mark Jackson and Jeff Van Gundy constantly talking about themselves and each other? I'm not saying they can't be pals, but I wish they'd tone down the self-referencing and talk about the game." Wild Yams added: "Mark Jackson and Jeff Van Gundy really need to just shut up. I can understand doing a little vamping and having those silly discussions if the game is an inconsequential regular season game that happens to be a blowout and they're just looking to kill time; but quit all that crap when it's Game 1 of the Finals between the Celtics and Lakers and it's a hotly contested game the whole way through!"

Sasha Voojychick: Sasha is one of those classic "Love him if he's on your team, hate him if he's not" guys, joining the ranks of M.L. Carr, Dennis Rodman and whoever else you wanna name. And being that he's not on my team, I get to hate the big faker. Last night, Douchacic shot 2-for-7, had no luck on defense, and was the unhappy recipient of the Kobe Bryant stink eye. Good times, good times...

Luke Walton: Last night's "performance" by Luke will not go down in the annals of Lakers-Celtics lore, and it should serve as Exhibit G in the case against Mitch Kupchak suddenly being the bestest GM ever [coughSixyearextensioncough!]. The line: Zero points, 0-for-2, 2 rebounds, 1 assist, and 3 fouls in 13 unlucky minutes. I can only imagine the lengthy diatribe his father must have launched into after the game. (Example: "Luke Walton used to be much better in every aspect of the game.")

Kevin Garnett in the second half: What happened, KG? The Defensive Player of the Year looked more like the Offensive Player of the Year in the first two quarters, scoring 16 points on 6-for-9 shooting. He was so good that Magic Johnson was screaming at halftime for KG to get more shots. Well, he got more shots in the second half, all right: 13 to be exact. And he hit only three of them. During one particularly brutal stretch, Garnett missed nine shots in a row.

And do you know why? In the first half, he was posting hard and making a concerted effort to work his defenders over in the paint. In the second half, after a few aggressive double-teams by the Lakers, he started hovering around the perimeter, bailing out and shooting long jumpers. Didn't KG notice this? Didn't Doc Rivers? Holy hell, why would you go away from what was working for you?! And, once again, this is why Garnett may never shake his anti-clutch reputation.

But you know, I almost forgave him for all those crappy jumpers when he did this:


Kendrick Perkins: He's one of the "wild cards" in this series, and in Game 1, that card was the Joker. The Celtics' starting center scored 1 point (0-for-1) and had as many fouls as rebounds (4). Oh, and that one shot attempt? It was blocked from behind by Pau Gasol. But worst of all, it was his blundering collision with Paul Pierce that caused Truth's knee sprain. Which, of course, turned out okay for Boston in Game 1...but how's that knee going to feel in Game 2 when all the adrenaline has worn off? Plus, let's not forget that he hurt his ankle doing nothing.

Sam Cassell: For a few glorious minutes last night, Sam-I-Am was every bit the spark plug that Danny Ainge and Doc Rivers prayed he'd be. But here's the problem with Sam: When he hits his first couple shots -- as he did last night -- he starts gunnin'. And that's not a good thing. Not by a long shot. After starting out 2-for-2, Sam went 2-for-7 the rest of the way...and some of those shots were of the ugliest possible variety. And it caused Basketbawful reader Justin to email me the following one-sentence observation: "Sam Cassell is a big, smelly turd."

James Posey: It wasn't just the crappy stats -- 3 points, 1-for-6 shooting, 2 rebounds, 2 turnovers, 3 fouls -- it was the fact that he never really had much of an impact on the game, offensively or (worst) defensively. When Pierce went down with the knee injury, I was thinking: "Okay. The Celtics need Posey to step up." And part of me really believed he'd go gangbusters.

Paul Pierce, Hero or Faker: I got a handful of comments and emails after last night's game suggesting that Pierce faked his knee injury. (And there's one journalist who's at least suggesting it.) And even I have to admit, I had a few moments of doubt after he came back and splashed home back-to-back threes. I mean, we all know that Paul wants to win a title. And he probably wants to be the inspiration for his team and carve a permanent spot for himself on The Big Rock of Celtics Lore. So if he was going to orchestrate a Wills Reed impersonation, I would hope he'd have the good sense to do it the way Larry did and wait until an elimination game.

But here's the thing: I don't think Paul was faking. I think he felt some pain and heard something scary and freaked out a little. I would have done the same thing. Hell, I have done the same thing (although I didn't have Brian Scalabrine and Tony Allen there to carry me off to safety). Here's how Pierce described that terrifying moment: "I thought I tore something; tht's the way I felt at the time. Usually when I go down, I'm getting right back up, but it was an instance where I turned my knee and it popped, and I was just in pain where I couldn't move."

Yup. If you've ever played basketball on any level, pickup to pro, you've probably experienced something like that. It happened to Wilt Chamberlain in Game 7 of the 1969 NBA Finals. Fortunately for Pierce and the rest of the Celtics, Doc Rivers didn't pull a Butch van Breda Kolff and refuse to put Paul back into the game.

Paul Pierce, quote machine: To what does Pierce credit his miraculous recover and return? Why the Lord, our God, of course! Said Pierce: "I think God sent an angel down and said, 'Hey, you're going to be all right. You need to get back out there." First off, I hate it when professional athletes forward the notion that God cares about them or their team personally. Besides, I've read Stephen Colbert's book. I know God never gets involved in games he has money on. Hopefully, Paul was just kidding about all that "God sent and angel" stuff.

Update! Ray Allen: This is a comment left by Basketbawful reader Navid: "Did anyone see that timeout toward the end of the 1st quarter right after Ray Allen hit a layup and followed it up with a three? Did anyone besides me notice Ray Allen give that kid a stern forearm to the head, pushing the kid away, on his way to the bench? Pretty funny stuff." Anybody else catch that?

The Magic and Larry "There can be only one" commercial: I never thought I could get cold chills and a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach at the same time, but this new promo starring Magic Johnson and Larry Legend did the trick. I mean, first off, freaking cool! I love it! And it made me wish Wilt Chamberlain was still alive so he could do the split screen with Bill Russell (although maybe Russ will do it with Jerry West instead). But Larry, Larry, Larry...he looked bad, didn't he. I mean, bad even for Larry Bird.

Also, this one had the worst possible "acting" of any of the "There can be only one" commercials the NBA has produced so far. Not only did it have a right-off-the-cue-card feel to it, you could tell both men were concentrating with all their will power to stay on time.

Aw, the hell with it. It's still awesome. Here's the video, courtesy of Odenized.


Note: Did anybody else notice how they leaned Larry forward so his double-chin wouldn't show? Total fat girl angle shot move. Also, loved the synchronized blink at the end.

Update! Basketbawful reader anne thinks Larry should be featured on Men Who Look Like Old Lesbians. Which is, like, so wrong...but also kinda right. Bonus reading: Here's Cracked.com's brilliant Top 25 Men Who Look Like Old Lesbians. (Here's a preview: Chuck Klosterman is number 25 and is described as "Someone who has penned 14 books on the spiritual nature of the vulva.")

Update! The Larry O'Brien trophy decoration thingie: I forgot this on the first go around and was going to save it for Game 2. But damn, it was bad. And Basketbawful reader Jaz didn't let me off the hook. "How about the aesthetic abomination that is the big painted trophy on the floor? Ugh. And little trophies on all the uniforms and gear. And the 'artsy' shot of Kobe making love to the trophy. The NBA has made that ugly trophy into a golden calf. I guess David Stern should know that story, and how it ended. BTW, trial in Seattle, June 16! And Mike Breen forgot to shave." There's also a reader on TrueHoop who thinks the trophy caused one backcourt violation and one non-violation.

Oops! And so did Evil Ted. "Early in the game, officials called a backcourt violation on Gasol that wasn't a backcourt violation, why? Because Gasol's location in relation to the centerline was obscured by the fact that the Celtics have plastered an O'Brien trophy logo across the full width of the court. If a bad call relating to the midcourt line is made at a critical point in a critical game, expect to hear more about this unecessary logo. Later in the game, KG saved a ball from going into the back court and the Celtics scored. It was a critical play and it looked like KG's foot stayed on the correct side of the center line, but there's no precise way to tell. Why? Cause there's no centerline, that's why. In a related story, the Patriots will be spraypainting both Gillette stadium goallines with giant Lombardi trophies. There won't be any way to tell if a player breaks the plane, but at least the field will look cool."

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