fifth quarter (fifth kwort'-ur) noun. The hours immediately following the conclusion of a late-night basketball game, during which players hit the town or go to private parties in order to engage in various illicit activities. These activities can include, but are not limited to, the following: drinking, womanizing, gambling, drug use, and vehicular masturbation (see below).

Usage example: Many NBA players have ended up on the wrong side of the law during the fifth quarter.

Word Trivia: The fifth quarter is a dangerous and potentially embarrassing time, not only for the players themselves, but also for their coaches, teammates, and team owners. Take last February, when the Pacers' Jamaal Tinsley and Marquis Daniels followed up a 113-98 loss to the Golden State Warriors by going to the 8 Seconds Saloon, getting liquored up, yelling obscenities at staff members, and then getting into a fight with and threatening to kill the bar owner. And these were the same two guys who, during training camp, accompanied Stephen Jackson to his ill-fated strip club shooting escapade.

Speaking of strip clubs, let's not forget about the The Gold Club Trial, in which it came out that several NBA players -- including Dennis Rodman, Dikembe Mutombo, Jerry Stackhouse, John Starks, Patrick Ewing, and Reggie Miller -- had not only frequented the posh Atlanta strip club, but they'd received a variety of sexual favors there. As Ewing put it in his testimony, "The girls danced and started fondling me. I got aroused. They performed oral sex."

But not every sex scandal has the sleazy allure of prostitution. On March 30, 2006, hours after scoring two points in the Minnesota Timberwolves' 103-91 win over the Orlando Magic, Eddie Griffin crashed his Cadillac Escalade into a Chevy Suburban that was parked outside a convenience store. Not only was Griffin drunk out of his mind, but he was also watching porn and masturbating at the time of the accident. According to the lawsuit, the DVD jackets for "Anal Action" and "Privates" were found in the passenger seat of his car. Remember kids, friends don't let friends whack it and drive.

fifth quarter
I think the dangers of the fifth quarter
are the least of this guy's problems...

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Anonymous Josh said...
Leave it to the Knicks to have the most incidents.

Sometimes it's embarassing to be a fan of the New York Knicks.

Oddly enough, this is the first time I've ever heard of this old is that article?

Blogger Basketbawful said...
josh -- The strip club trial took place in the summer of 2001. However, the "favors" performed for Ewing (and other members of the Knicks) apparently took place in 1996 and 1997. In fact, the club owner apparently sent some dancers to the Knicks' 1997 training camp in South Carolina to "meat" with players.

Anonymous G (dc) said...
Hey man, he actually died the next year in another drunk driving accident. Not to be that guy, but it was sorta sad.