Jesus. The Pistons can't even figure out how to put theirjerseys on right. Rough times in Detroit, folks...
The New York Knicks: Hey! Hey, LeBron! Check us out...two straight road wins! We busted the Mavericks' 13-game winning streak with a 128-94 win in Dallas and then followed it up by rallying past an underachieving but very talented Sixers team in Philly. See?? The system works! Danilo Gallinari is showing signs and rookie Toney Douglas has looked like a keeper the last couple games. This can happen! We can make this into magic! Please look at us, LeBron! PLEASE LOOK AT US!!

The Philadelphia 76ers: The Sixers shot 38 percent from the field and scored 29 points...in the second half. When a Mike 'Antoni _efense shuts you down at your place, you have problems. Deep, ugly problems.

Said Philly coach Eddie Jordan: "We had open looks. We couldn't make shots."

Speaking of which...

Andre Iguodala: Iggy went 5-for-22 from the field and 0-for-7 from downtown. In fact, Iguodala is 1-for-19 from beyond the arc in his last four games.

Said Jordan: "He's human."

Uh, or less. I'm tempted to bring up his $80 million contract, but I wo...whoops! Hey, speaking of 80 Million Dollar Men...

Elton Brand: The line: 7 points, 3-for-8, 3 rebounds and 2 turnovers in 22 minutes. It's like a plane crashed onto a train that was running into a burning orphanage full of newborn puppies. This dude used to be a 20-10 machine! Never underestimate the lingering effect of the Clippers taint.

Eddie Curry: According to the AP game notes: "Knicks C Eddy Curry missed the game with a sore right calf." Is there any point to Eddy Curry updates at this point? And if there is, why not make something better up? Maybe, "Knicks C Eddy Curry missed the game with an infestation of puppet testicles."

The Detroit Pistons: Joe Dumars' rebuilding debuilding plan continued last night in Boston, as the Celtics -- who were feeling kinda pissy after the way the Crabs so casually thumped them on Sunday -- built a 64-35 halftime lead and coasted in for a 119-93 win.

The Pistons gave up 27 points off 18 turnovers, surrendered 62 percent shooting, and let the aging Celtics (who were playing the second game of back-to-backs) run out for 21 fast break points.

Said Pistons coach John Kuester: "They were good. We were bad."

And the hits just keep on coming. With 4:53 left in the first quarter, Tayshaun Prince got kneed in the back by teammate Jason Maxiell. Prince spent the next several minutes on the floor holding his back Hulk Hogan-style before limping off with assistance. That was the end of his night.

Mind you, the Pistons were already without Rodney Stuckey, who missed his fifth straight game since collapsing on the bench during a game against the Crabs in Cleveland. It's bad enough Detroit sucks...but nobody can stay healthy either.

Said Rip Hamilton: "We've been hurt all year, and another guy goes down. It's one of those things where you're like, 'Come on, man. Are you serious?' But it's tough."

Nate Robinson: I love garbage time dunks as much as the next guy, but really, there's no reason to hotdog it by hanging on the rim too.


Boston fans: From the AP game notes: "Another development that Red Auerbach would have never allowed: Fans did the wave in the second quarter. Longtime observers said they could not remember that happening at a Celtics home game, ever." I hope they installed a giant hamster wheel in Red's grave, considering all the post-mortem rolling around he's been doing.

The Denver Nuggets: Losing at home to a scrappy Rockets team isn't all that shameful in and of itself, but rumor has it that Don Nelson and Mike 'Antoni both called David Stern to complain about how _enver stole their _efensive schemes. The Nuggets let the Rockets score 125 points on 57 percent shooting. Houston racked up 28 points on the fast break and 54 points in the paint.

Mind you, the Nuggets led 104-93 with 10 minutes left in the fourth quarter...after which they were outscored 32-19.

More fun facts from this defenseless mess: Carmelo Anthony scored a game-high 45 points -- his seventh, 40-point game this season -- but rather infamously joined Monta Ellis as the only other player this season to lose when scoring 45 points or more. Also, this was Denver's first loss in 29 games this season when scoring 110+points. Total defensive fail.

Chauncey Billups: His line was okay -- 17 points, 7-for-13, 4 assists -- but Mr. Big Shot was bitch-slapped by his Houston counterpart, Aaron Brooks, who finished with 31 points (11-for-17) and 9 assists. Brooks also hit the game-winning jumper with 2.9 seconds left.

It's also worth noting that Billups fouled Luis Scola on a layup attempt with 41 seconds left. Scola converted the "And 1!" to put the Rockets ahead 122-121. Billups then committed his sixth foul (on Brooks) with 28 seconds left.

ESPN: Apparently, they think the Rockets rallied past...the Rockets. Does anybody need a Web editor? Because I think there's probably one available today. Thanks to Basketbawful readers Armand A., Jonathan B., Obi, Thomas K., youngstarpd, and an anonymous reader for the multiple heads up.


The Washington Wizards Generals Bullets: The Jazz were playing their fifth game in seven nights and their second of back-to-backs...but they still outscored the Bullets 65-35 during the second and third quarters. And during the third, they held Washington to 3-for-22 shooting.

Said Kyle Korver: "It's nice to get one that's a little bit easy."

The Jazz outblasted the Bullets in field goal percentage (52.4 to 36.9), in the paint (52-36) and on the fast break (23-4). Utah won 112-89 despite missing (gak) 14 free throws.

The Gol_en State Warriors: The Lakers and Warriors did their best to show up the defenseless battle between the Nuggets and Rockets...and L.A.'s 124-121 victory came damn close. The Warriors attempted 100 shots, scored 58 points in the paint and 31 on the fast break. They also scored 29 points off 24 forced turnovers. The Lakers shot 56 percent from the field, earned a 42-13 advantage in free throw attempts and outrebounded the Warriors 56-25.

Monta Ellis: Weird game. Monta had 11 assists -- is that a career-high? -- and 5 steals, but he went 5-for-23 from the field and 1-for-6 from three-point range. And his final missed trey, which could have tied the game at the buzzer, bounced on the rim three times before slipping away. Along with the game.

It was one of the worst shooting performances of Monta's career. But he won't hesitate to keep chuckin' 'em up: "I'm a shooter. I'm a shooter until Coach tells me not to shoot anymore. Nothing else I can do."

Chris Hunter, quote machine: Regarding Moped's final shot: "I thought it was going in. It looked like the invisible man tipped it away at the last second."

Kobe Bryant's and Andy Bynum's butter fingers: Mamba committed a season-high 9 turnovers Bynum committed 8. Buttery fingers? Point shaving? I mean, what was that all about?

Said Ron Artest: "It was weird. It was definitely weird."

Definitely.

It was Mamba's most TOs since losing the ball a career-high 11 times in a 90-89 loss to the Pistons on January 31, 2008.

The Los Angeles Clippers: The Hornets stumbled into the Staples Center with a seven-game road losing streak. No matter. They beat the Clippers 108-100 and completed a four-game season sweep of The Other L.A. Team...

...they're still who we thought they were.

Despite a moderate amount of home-cooling -- the Clips had a 19-5 advantage in FTAs -- the Unloveable Losers let the still Chris Paul-less Hornets 56+ percent from the field and 50 percent from long range (9-for-18). And Baron Davis, who had 18 points and 17 dimes, wasn't happy 'bout it.

Said B-Dizzle: "Some guys are playing hard, but we're not getting the collective effort out of everybody night in and night out. It's hard to win is you don't have 15 guys focusing on winning. We're going through a tough stretch, so I'm just trying to encourage my teammates and be as positive as I possibly can, as well as focus on my game and getting back to what I am and what I should be doing out there. I just come to the arena and play hard, try to constantly improve and build for next year. Hopefully I can set some type of example."

Oh, now that you're finally ready to start trying, people need to follow your lead? Really, Baron?! Sounds like this team needs 15 Booms Beards. Actually, make it 30. Two each. You know, make it 31...because there's one Clipper who might need three Booms Beards...

Chris Kaveman: Remember when this guy was bitching about Pau Gasol making the All-Star Team? I dunno, that just seems relevant after Kaveman missed 10 of his first 11 shots finished with only 8 points on 3-for-15 shooting. Oh, and Chris also had only 3 rebounds in 31 minutes. Can we retroactively negate Kaveman's All-Star appearance?

Kaveman was shut the hell down by Emeka Okafor, who, as it turns out, can play defense. Who knew?

Said New Orleans' Darren Collision: "Kaman is an All-Star, but Meke is one of the best defenders in this league. Meke is big and physical, and he can go with pretty much any center in the league. So whenever he steps up to the challenge, this is what we're going to get out of him. We were definitely conscious of Kaman, but most of the credit goes to Meke. He really did a good job of sizing him up and making it tough for him."

Countered L.A.'s Eric Gordon: "He just couldn't hit a jump shot tonight. That was basically it. He missed so many shots, but that happens sometimes."

Lacktion report: Chris is back from the Biggest Little City but has yet to stop tracking the lack!

Labels: Chris Kaman, Detroit Pistons, Los Angeles Clippers, New York Knicks, Philadelphia 76ers, puppet testicles

Nightmare fuel
So, it's Mardi Gras. And yet I'm stuck looking at snow for either the 11th, 12th, or 13th consecutive day (I lost count. Sigh.) Meanwhile, our head writer/editor is in a warm weather climate, drinking until most of his fine motor skills cease to function properly. No, I'm not bitter, why do you ask?

It's the first night of NBA games since the All-Star break. Let's get to it.

Bawful Trade of the Day:
Today's trade is, sadly, a real trade.
Frail Blazers receive: Marcus Camby
Clippers receive: Steve Blake, Travis Outlaw, $1.5mil cash, and Portland will be responsible for $2mil in Camby's incentives

Portland is obviously delighted to get a big man to help fill in the gap created by injuries to Greg Oden and Joel Pryzbilla (and no, Juwan Howard's mummified remains aren't a very reliable stopgap). However, this trade is just an abomination from the Clippers' point of view.

Marcus Camby did not want to be traded, and the Clippers did not inform him in advance that they were going to move him. And even worse, what exactly does LA stand to gain from this trade? A backup point guard, and someone who has been injured this season. Shouldn't a 7-footer who is a reasonable defender and excellent rebounder be a fairly prized commodity? Shouldn't you be able to set his value pretty high just by waiting a little closer to the deadline and negotiating deals between several different teams?

Oh, wait. As noted by Bill Simmons, the $1.5 million in cash "covers 55% of Sterling's racial discrimination settlement." So there you go. Now the trade makes perfect sense!

(And isn't it nice just to see Mike Dumbleavy continuing to bring us bawful entertainment even if he isn't coaching anymore?)

Worst of the Weekend in Pictures:

Dirk and Kaman get ready for the junior prom
(via Steve Nash)

Can somebody tell me why Clutch wasn't in the Celebrity Game playing alongside Chris Tucker?
Nationally Televised Games:
Suns at Grizzlies: I don't give a crap about this game. I just want to see what team gets suckered into taking Amar''''e and gives him a max contract he doesn't deserve. The sooner, the better!

All The Other Games:
Heat at 76ers: Bad news: the Heat have dropped six straight in Philly. Good news? Iverson's back, so Philly can now go back to losing games.

Nyets at Bobcats: Come on, 4-49! Come on, 4-49!

Timberwolves at Pistons: I have to quote this preview because it made me laugh: "With a sub-.500 record, the Detroit Pistons find themselves in an atypical position coming out of the All-Star break. There's nothing unusual about the Minnesota Timberwolves having a losing record at All-Star weekend, though."

Knicks at Bulls: Rose is tight and sore after playing in the All-Star game while hurt, and Joakim Noah still is battling plantar fasciitis. New York is still battling a case of being the Knicks, so that kinda balances things out.

Mavericks at Thunder: Will Dallas benefit from the Caron Butler trade (which helped further turn the Bullets into a real-life version of our Null-Star team)? This is our first chance to see if it helps them remember how to play defense.

Jazz at Rockets: Rumors have Knee-Mac getting shipped to New York. I'm sure the Rockets players will be on Cloud 9 and will play their asses off in this game if the trade suddenly goes down this afternoon.

Clippers at Frail Blazers: I like how the Clippers/Blazers trade happened when the Clips were already in Portland. It saved Donald Sterling a few bucks in long distance phone charges, and I'm sure he appreciates that.

Celtics at Kings: It has now been one year since Kevin Garnett jacked up his knee and began Boston's gradual decline. Excuse me while I go drink until I can't feel feelings.

Warriors at Lakers: Ellis an Maggette both are questionable at best for this game. At what point do we have to start pulling random fans out of the stands to fill the bench for the Warriors?

Labels: Bawful After Dark, Bawful Trade of the Day, Chris Kaman, Dirk Nowitzki, Donald Sterling, Mike Dunleavy Sr.

I once posted a list of the basic staples of American comedy, the gimmicks that are always used for (and seem to always get) a cheap laugh. These include (but are not limited to):

1. Monkeys
2. Midgets
3. Fat people
4. Farts and/or poop
5. The Amish
6. Men dressed as women
7. A man getting punched/kicked/shot/etc. in the nuts
8. White people attempting to act like black people
9. Old people trying to behave all young and hip
10. Some random combination of the elements listed above

Now, you get to see one or more (usually more) of these comedic devices during the typical NBA halftime show. However, one of them actually occurs -- with alarming frequency -- during the course of the game itself. Here's a hint: It's number seven. I don't know what the sport of basketball has against the man region, but ballers sure do suffer an extraordinary number of nutshots. (Or worse. Just ask Mo Williams).

In this video, for instance, Danny Granger forgets that he's not playing soccer, and that Antawn Jamison's family jewels are not, in fact, the game ball.


From the YouTube description: "Chandler gets a feel in the 'Smoky Robinson.'"


Hey, remember when Royal Ivey got suspended for an attack on Aaron Gray's meat 'n taters? Of course you don't. You probably don't even know who those guys are. But here's what happened.


Then there's that whole bizarre Reggie Evans/Chris Kaman incident...


Not even the crotches of our team mascots are safe, as Utah's Bear proves here.


And, of course, no rundown of junk assault would be complete without Bruce "The Master of Groin Disaster" Bowen. Watch BTMoGDB give Steve Nash a little [Canadian euphemism for knee in the groin].


Update! How could I forget about the time Avery Johnson cup-checked Josh Howard? Thanks for the reminder, Mr. Anonymous.


Update! Thanks to Reginald from Wasilla and the second Mr. Anonymous for reminding me of that time Chris Paul gave Julius Hodge the five-knuckeled junkblaster.

Labels: Antawn Jamison, Bear, Bruce Bowen, Chris Kaman, comedy staples, Danny Granger, NBA mascots, nutshots, Reggie Evans, Steve Nash, Tyson Chandler

Like I mentioned a few days ago, I've gotten a handful of amusing submissions that I hadn't had time to do anything with. So I figured I'd mash them all together into one big basketbawfully stew...kind of like a nice Hungarian goulash.

First, here's O.J. Mayo getting a little booty love after a very manly dunk on the Hornets in summer league action. [From Caleb.]


Next up is an example of what happens when somebody hijacks a Wikipedia page. See if you can figure out what's what with Tim Duncan's biography. It has since been fixed. You can go here for a larger version. [From Michael.]


Did you know the WNBA keeps track of who's hot and who's not? I presume they're talking about stats and not, uh, other stuff, but still. [From Rich.]


Is Dirk Nowitzki a fan of the movie Men In Black? Because he's got Will Smith's subtle flip-off technique down pat. The question is: What did Chris Kaman do to piss Dirk off? Maybe he's just jealous that Chris gets to play for the Clippers. [From Anne.]


This next one is from Martin, who said: "We know nobody likes the Pacers and the Oklahoma team needs a logo and all. I guess that's the reason the SI team decided to stick Oklahoma season ticket holders story to the Pacers' tab. Or maybe after Bennett stole a whole team, now he will just steal another team's logo."


My buddy Craig from The Association -- a big-time Lakers fan -- was a little, shall we say, displeased when he ran across this t-shirt. "I am constantly haunted by the 2008 NBA Finals. I saw this and other Celtics gear at the Adidas Outlet near my house...IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA!! You can use this email as evidence against me after I firebomb the place." That, my friends, is what we call bitterness.


BadDave emailed me this link to a blog post called The Utah Jazz: A Stiff White Retrospective. Funny stuff. The most stunning thing about the post, however, is that I hadn't already written it. To celebrate that post, I submit a Greg Ostertag man love special. (I'm not sure, but I think he might have found the link at Ball Don't Lie. Update! Actually, he found it at TrueHoop.)


And finally, here's a screen capture of the official Web site of NBA officials. [From Stephanie G.]

Labels: Celtic Pride, Chris Kaman, Dirk Nowitzki, fan submissions, Indiana Pacers, man love, O.J. Mayo, referees, Tim Duncan, Wikipedia, WNBA

Chicago Bulls: The Bulls have now won three of five games since Scott Skiles was fired on Christmas Eve. Of course, it's worth noting that those wins came against the Bucks (12-19), Knicks (8-22), and Bobcats (11-19). At first, I thought John Paxson fired Skiles when he did because Chicago is a miserly organization and they probably didn't want to pay Skiles his Christmas bonus. But the reality is that the Bulls were about to hit a soft spot in their schedule. In addition to the previously mentioned powder puffs, the Bulls upcoming slate includes such heavyweights as the Kings (12-18), Knicks (again), and Sixers (14-18). Not to be cynical, but the best way to make it look like you were right to fire your coach is if your team starts winning, and the best way to make sure that happens is when they have a handful of "gimmie" games on the calendar. I guess what I'm saying is that I'm not a believer just yet. But if the Bulls manage to beat Portland (tonight) and Atlanta (January 13), I'll concede that they've improved somewhat.

Scottie Pippen: Last year he wanted to come back and play in the NBA, even going so far as to say, "The fans who understand the game, the GMs and coaches, I think they'd rather have a Scottie than a Michael [Jordan]. Because I'm an all-around player. Coaches would rather have a Scottie-type player than a Michael. I was an all-around player. I made people around me better." Surprisingly enough, nobody -- and I mean nobody -- was interested in his services. Now he wants to coach the Bulls. "What's my disadvantage? No NBA coaching experience? [Scott] Skiles' record with the Bulls wasn't that great. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to do what you've done your whole life. I've played basketball, run teams and won. They didn't put me at point guard because I could dribble good. They put me there because I could run a team. I wasn't the best dribbler, the best shooter. I wasn't a point guard. But I knew how to run a team." Actually, I seem to remember guys like John Paxson, B.J. Armstrong, Ron Harper, and even Steve Kerr playing point for the Bulls back then, but whatever. Pippen continued: "With a guy [Jordan] who loved to touch it and shoot all the time, I was able to keep him under control. That didn't come from the bench, it came from making the right decisions. You try to make the game fun for everyone and then we were able to find Mike. The games I felt he was getting off too much, I'd find a way to get other guys off. And then guys weren't running at him all the time and he could take off in the right place." Uh, yeah. I don't really want to hear about Pip getting other players off. Beyond that, his assertion that it was he, and not Phil Jackson or Jordan himself, that reigned Jordan in is patently ridiculous. As is most of everything else Pippen is saying these days. Particularly when you consider that, right after announcing he wanted to coach the Bulls, he started ripping into the players. On Tyrus Thomas: "He doesn't know how to play the game. He's great from the neck down." On Ben Wallace: "You don't pay a rebounder $15 million. OK, they did. He doesn't know the game like Dennis Rodman did." On Kirk Hinrich: "He's not that talented...you can't have midgets running your backcourt." On Luol Deng: "he's trying to show 28, 29 teams what he's about instead of going out and playing." On Andres Nocioni: "He's turning into Rasheed Wallace with the kinds of things he does on floor." I don't care about his six championships or his place in the 50 Greatest NBA Players. He's an idiot if he thinks talk like that is going to land him a head coaching job anywhere in the NBA, let alone for the Bulls. Does he really think the players would listen to him after he blasted them in the press like that? Ben Gordon already isn't listening. "I don't really care what Scottie has to say. Everybody's entitled to their own opinion, but it doesn't have anything to do with anything." For now, Pippen is off to Sweden and Finland to play some exhibition games for club teams. Let's hope he stays over there.

Orlando Magic: A one-point loss to the Nets (15-16) is bad enough, but the way it happend is even worse. The Magic got outscored 30-18 in the fourth quarter. One game after coach Stan Van Gundy said, "I've got to find some different ways to get [Dwight Howard] the ball; We're not getting it to him enough right now," Howard scored 13 points on only 11 shots. Of course, it didn't help that Howard missed seven of his 10 freethrows. But worse than Howard's offense was his defense. As Ben Q Rock from Third Quarter Collapse put it: "Dwight Howard let Jason Collins score 10 points. 10! That's a week's worth of points for Collins, right? I can't remember every bucket Collins hit, but I do remember they all occurred in almost the same way: A Net would drive the lane, Dwight Howard would come over to try to block the shot into the 15th row, and Collins would be wide-open under the basket to get the missed shot and putback. On one play, Howard fell asleep so badly that he had no choice but to goaltend Collins' layup by pinning it against the glass. Goaltending Jason Collins!" You might be tempted to think that Ben is overreacting here, but I assure you, he's not. Collins scored 10 points last night on 5-of-5 shooting. To put that into its proper perspective, Collins is averaging 1.4 PPG and has gone scoreless in 18 of the 29 games he's played this season. Last night was Collins' first double-digit scoring game of the season. In fact, it was his first double-digit scoring game since December 26, 2006. Prior to that, he hadn't scored in double figures since November 29, 2005. Howard letting Collins drop a 10-spot on him is like letting the fat guy in jean shorts and sandals hit the game-winner over you in a pickup game. Embarrassing and inexcusable. Morever, a shambling mummy wearing Darrell Armstrong's jersey rose out of a casket behind the Net's bench to score 13 points on 6-of-7 shooting. If that was indeed Armstrong, who's averaging 2.3 points in the 19 games he's played this season, it was his highest scoring output since April 15, 2007.

New Jersey Nets: The Nets won, yes, but it was thanks largely to the hot (and entirely unexpected) shooting of Collins, Armstrong, Bostjan Nachbar (5-10), and Malik Allen (6-10). The Nets' starters, on the other hand, combined to shoot 14-of-45 from the field. If they have to depend on 20 points a night and near-perfect shooting from a Collins/Armstrong combination, they're in trouble.

Indiana Pacers: The Memphis Grizzlies (9-22) have the fourth-worst record in the league and had lost five games in a row and 12 of their last 14. They felt a little bit better, though, after waltzing into Indianapolis and beating the Pacers by 18. How badly did the Pacers play? Well, they shot a season-low 31 percent from the field, and it was their lowest field-goal shooting at Conseco Fieldhouse since it opened in 1999. They scored nine points in the fourth quarter, which fewest points the Pacers have scored in a fourth quarter since joining the NBA in 1976. That's badness on a grand and historic scale right there. Said Indiana coach Jim O'Brien: "Every loss is disturbing and painful." Well, yeah Jim, but this one was more disturbing than most.

Andre Brown: The Memphis forward and former D-League Player of the Week for the Sioux Falls Skyforce notched a one trillion last night.

Zaza Pachulia: He played 4 minutes and 23 seconds in the Hawks 98-94 loss to the Cavaliers. He didn't score a point, but he did manage to squeeze off five shots in those four minutes, going 0-for-5. Can you say "gunner"?

Miami Heat: They lost at home again, dropping their home record to 4-11 and their overall record to 8-24, worst in the East and a full seven games out of a playoff spot. The Heat are still playing without Jason Williams (sore left knee) and Shaq (old and decrepit), and Wade hurt his right pinky finger and right shoulder last night. I don't even know what to say about this team anymore. They're just depressing to follow, and even more depressing to watch. Making fun of them is like making fun of a retarded kid with a peg leg.

Yao Ming: Okay. I'm officially worried about this guy again. He was "okay" against the Celtics (19 points and 13 rebounds) and he even fouled out two Boston Centers (Kendrick Perkins and Scot Pollard). But he shot 7-of-20, committed 4 turnovers (to only 2 assists) and failed, once again, to take control of the game when his team needed him to. And that's the basic problem with Yao as a player: He gives you franchise numbers without being a franchise-type player. He can't lead and he doesn't inspire. Maybe there's a language barrier or cultural differences, but then again, maybe he's just not capable of being The Man. Tracy McGrady, who missed his fourth straight game due to a sore left knee, is much more of The Man than Yao is...but McGrady obviously has his own crunch time problems. As Confucius said: "Any team built on shaky foundation will suck."

New York Knicks: Yesterday, Isiah Thomas had this to say about his godawful team: "I believe that one day we will win a championship here. And as I sit here and I say it today, I know people will laugh even more at me, but I'm hell bent on getting this accomplished and making sure that we get it done. And I'm not leaving until we get it done." Emboldened by their coaches strong words, the Knicks promptly went out and got blown out at home by the Sacramento Kings (13-18), who were without Kevin Martin, Ron Artest, and Mike Bibby. After the game, Thomas altered his stance ever so slightly: "I don't necessarily just want to win a championship. I want to leave something that's going to stand for a long time. I want to leave a legacy, I want to leave tradition. I want to leave an imprint, a blueprint in terms of how people play, and how they coach and how they respond when they put on the Knick uniform. And I want to leave what I left in Detroit. Every person that walks through that door as a Piston, when they put on that uniform, there's a certain pride that they carry. And I want to put that here and I want to leave that here in New York. I want to leave a championship legacy." Seriously, who is he kidding?

Marco Jaric: The Timberwolves are so bad, and they have so many crappy players, that trying to pick the crappiest player on the team is like trying to figure out which Porta-Potty has the worst pee and crap smell combo. On this night at least, I'm going with Jaric. He played 16 minutes and contributed zero points, zero rebounds, 1 assist, 1 turnover, and a +/- score of -13. A real bargain of a player for $6 million a year.

Golden State Warriors: They let a game that was really exciting through three quarters totally go to hell in the fourth, during which they were outscored 32-14. Their shooting was off all night (41 percent) and their defense was even worse (they let the Mavs shoot almost 54 percent). They also got pounded on the boards 50-35. There are various ways you could describe this loss, but "totally outplayed" just about covers it.

Dallas Mavericks: Yes, they blew out the team that upset them in the playoffs last season, but they typically put too much weight on a single regular season game. I mean, Dirk Nowitzki played really well -- 29 points, 8 rebounds, 6 assists -- but he was the MVP last season, right? Shouldn't that kind of game be, well, expected? Instead, the Mavs were treating it like Dirk just got let out of the psycho ward. Said Jerry Stackhouse: "He exorcised some of his demons. It's something that needed to be done." Maybe Stackhouse is right and Dirk got his mojo back by playing well against a team he's struggled against the last couple years. But just the fact that the Warriors had drilled themselves so far into Nowitzki's psyche is a perfect example of Dirk's general failing as an elite player. He's just doesn't have the mental toughness of an all-time great.

Gordan Giricek: Finally freed of the tyranny of Jerry Sloan, Giricek got the chance for a little payback against the team that let him go last night. Instead, he just showed why the Jazz let him go: 4 points (1-of-3), 1 rebound, 1 turnover in 12 minutes of "action." Meanwhile, his replacement, Kyle Korver, scored 14 points (3-of-4) in 11 minutes and hit five straight freethrows in the final 27 seconds to secure the win. Good trade. For the Jazz.

Chris Kaman: He's giving the Clippers everything he has and he's having a great season (18 PPG, 14 RPG). But a 1-for-10 shooting night will still get you a mention on Worst of the Night, especially when you're probably a lock to make the All-Star team.

Labels: Chicago Bulls, Chris Kaman, Indiana Pacers, Miami Heat, New Jersey Nets, New York Knicks, Orlando Magic, Scottie Pippen, Yao Ming