Update! Last minute addition here, but I saw Skeets retweet this and couldn't resist posting: Gilbert Arenas discusses his shoe pooping incident.
Hey Purple Paupers fans, guess what? Another DUI! This time it's sometimes-lacktator Antoine Wright. But hey, can you blame him? He's just trying to live up to the standard of one of the team's owners. (h/t Chris)
Also per Chris, here's a nice article examining the prospects of moving the Kings to my hometown of Louisville, Kentucky. I fully support this endeavor, even if it is completely unlikely. However, I will feel bad for Sacramento fans if they do relocate. In Chris's words: "We're getting jobbed very hard by the Maloofs' preference for DUIs over competence."
Speaking of bad owners, here's an amazing piece Bill Simmons tweeted a link to earlier today that was also posted in WOTN by AnacondaHL: Donald Sterling and his "plantation mentality." An excerpt:
In court papers, Baylor said that Jim Brewer, then an assistant with the Clippers, wanted the chance to interview for the head coaching job after Bill Fitch was dismissed following the 1997-98 season.This should surprise nobody on this blog, but it's still disgusting to see in print.
“I believe he [Sterling] was a little reluctant at first but I said, ‘We owe him that courtesy.’ So we go there and we sit down and Brewer starts talking about his qualifications, that he believed he could do the job of being the head coach,” Baylor said in court papers.
“And when he finished, Donald said something that was very shocking to me. He said, ‘Personally, I would like to have a white Southern coach coaching poor black players. And I was shocked. And he looked at me and said, ‘Do you think that’s a racist statement?’ I said, ‘Absolutely. That’s plantation mentality.”
Well, to cleanse your palette after that, here's something I saw in a tweet from Deadspin's Katie Baker: "DO GLUE GET YOU HIGH" and other questions about drugs from naive middle schoolers and high schoolers being answered by the National Institute of Drug Abuse. This is way more amusing than it probably should be.
Worst of the Night in Pictures:
1) Vag Carter viewed through a fisheye list...
Nationally Televised Games:
Jazz at Heat, NBA TV, 7:30pm: Did you know that the Heat have held all seven of their opponents under 100 points this season? Now, that being said, the Jazz may match up surprisingly well here. Deron Williams is a quality point guard, which the Heat don't like seeing, and Al Jefferson's front court presence could be very important.
All The Other Games:
Nuggets at Pacers, 7pm: The Pacers have spent their last two games averaging 82 points on 32% shooting. Danny Granger's explanation? "Tempo has been down for the last couple of games, and that is not the way we play." Kinda get the feeling that tempo doesn't completely explain 34% shooting...
Also, interesting goings-on in Denver...
Cavaliers at Nyets, 7pm: The Cavs get to play the Nyets on the road tonight, and then AGAIN tomorrow at home! If the Nyets continue to put up abysmal offensive numbers like they have the past several games, this could be a great momentum-builder for Cleveland. Or completely demoralizing if they lose. You know, either or.
Clippers at Hornets, 8pm: The Hornets may be surprising us a little with their success, but thankfully the Clippers still are who we thought they were. And to pretty much nobody's surprise, the Hornets are going for their 14th straight victory over the Lesser LA Team.
Knicks at Bucks, 8pm: The Bucks' offense has been so bad that I recommend getting an actual buck to come onto the court and bounce the ball off its head. It's probably got just as good a chance of going in the rim as any Bucks player can offer right now.
Pissed-Ons at Frail Blazers, 10pm: Detroit's on a two game winning streak! They've beaten the Bobcraps and the Warriors. Amazing how that second sentence completely sucked all the life out of any Detroit fans that got all excited after reading the first sentence, eh?
Timberwolves at Lakers, 10:30pm: Cheer up, Minnesota fans. Darko Milicic may be having a spectacularly, stupendously horrible
Labels: Bawful After Dark, Darko, Donald Sterling, Gilbert Arenas, head stomping, Sacramento Kings
Gilbert Arenas -- formerly Agent Zero, Hibatchi, The Clown Prince of the NBA, etc. -- was a real poopy pants during training camp. It may be hard for a lower middle class schmuck like me to imagine how somebody making nearly $18 million dollars this year to play basketball could be so forlorn and miserable, but Arenas is accomplishing the hell out of it.
And I thought Iron Eyes Cody had mastered the Sad Face. Not so!
Gil's latest words of woe, via Michael Lee of the Washington Post, are as follows:
"I lost all feeling a long time ago. Basketball is basketball now, no matter what floor I'm on," Arenas said with a shrug. "It's just basketball. It's not rocket scientist. You go out there and you just play."Well, I'm glad to know basketball is "not rocket scientist." And could that "I lost all feeling a long time ago" line be any more emo? Even the most die-hard Twilight fan would be too embarrassed to scribble that line onto their official Forks, Washington stationary right before crying themselves to sleep in the arms of a Team Edward teddy bear.
And that's saying something. I think.
Here's another one. After giving the semi-cold shoulder to former teammates Brendan Haywood, DeShawn Stevenson and Caron Butler before last night's exhibition game against the Dallas Mavericks, Arenas said:
"My job is to not make friends. My job is to help this team win and saying hello to my old teammates was not part of the job."Huh. I guess Gilbert forgot to take his human being pills yesterday.
Labels: Gilbert Arenas, Iron Eyes Cody
Gilbert Arenas and That Other Guy: Banned for the rest of the season. Now let the debates begin! Some people think the ban is too tough, others not tough enough. Which is fine, 'cause everybody is entitled to their opinion and all that. But can we please put to rest the argument that, "Well, if I took handguns to my job...." Newsflash! The NBA is not the "real world." Never has been, never will be. For instance, if you get sick and missed several months of work, you job doesn't have to keep paying you your full salary. People don't pay hundreds and even thousands of dollars a year to come and watch you crunch numbers, or pick up garbage, or develop software, or whatever it is that you do for a living. Nobody is wearing a "Matt McHale: Technical Writer" jersey. We need to stop expecting the NBA to operate like normal rules apply. They don't.
The Los Angeles Clippers: Okay, you know it's coming, so let's go ahead and get it out of the way early, shall we? They are who we thought they were. Can human language possibly describe the sheer amount of fail involved in losing 103-87 to one of the worst teams in NBA history? Is it even possible?
Said Baron Davis (6 points, 2-for-10): "Words can't even describe this."
I guess not, then.
To make this kick in the balls even more kick-in-the-balls-y, The Other L.A. Team let the Nyets shoot better than 53 percent from the field despite the fact that New Jersey was without their starting backcourt of Devin Harris (sprained wrist) and Courtney Lee (oral surgery).
Meanwhile, the Nyets made anti-history by avoiding the worst 44-game start in league history and snapping a 29-game losing streak to Western Conference teams. Heading into their matchup with the Clips, New Jersey was tied with the 1993-94 Dallas Mavericks for the NBA's worst record after 43 games...one more loss would have made them history's worst team after 44 games.
Fortunately, they were playing the Clippers.
Quick quiz: Is this loss by the Clippes better or worse than the worst office freakout of all time? Discuss.
Brook Lopez, quote machine: After the Nyets won for the first time this decade, the crowd (all 29 of them) went crazy, the public address announcer started screaming, "NETS WIN! NETS WIN!", and the arena started playing "Celebration" over the loudspeakers. Just imagine how much those people would be freaking out if the Nyets had won five games this season. Said Brook Lopez: "Did we need this? Are you kidding me? I mean we were 3-40. That's not a tough question to answer."
Kris Humphries: Congrats to Kris, who apparently had a career-high 1 assist last night. Thanks to Basketbawful reader Dmitry for the screen capture:
The Philadelphia 76ers: Despite a spectacular 3-for-10, 4-turnover performance from All-Star Allen Iverson, the Sixers lost 91-88 to the Milwaukee Bucks, who were outrebounded 51-35 and went 2 of 8 from the free throw line in the final six minutes. It helped that Philly missed three shots that could have tied the game in the last 11 seconds.
The first two shots were bonked by Elton "The 80 Million Dollar Man" Brand, who scored a season-high 26 points and absolutely could not miss...until it really mattered. Said Brand: "I missed the chippie. So, I'm thinking, 'OK. I got it back.' Could have gotten a better shot, but the shot clock and everything, I thought I could just knock it down. I was making everything. So, I was pretty confident in that [second] shot."
Overconfidence can be a downfall.
Anyway, after Luke Ridnour hit shanked a free throw that would have put the Bucks up by four points with 2.2 seconds left, Andre "The Other A.I. and The Other 80 Million Dollar Man" Iguodala bricked a long three-point attempt at the buzzer. Game over...and another near miss by the Sixers.
Said Charlie Bell: ""Hopefully the basketball gods even it out and toward the end of the year we'll start getting some more to go our way."
Uh, yeah. Good luck with that, Charlie.
The Shorthanded Pistons: Another night, another home loss for the Shorthanded Pistons, who are without...you know what? It doesn't matter. This team is terrible. Joe Dumas and his plan to dismantle the team so he could vastly overpay for Ben Gordon and Charlie Villanueva has been sucking big, sweaty gorilla balls. And yet, despite that, the Pistons were right there and could have beaten a pretty good Grizzlies team...except that Marc Gasol scored the game's final 8 points over the final three minutes as Memphis pulled out a 99-93 win the the Land of Short Hands.
According to the AP recap, Chucky V. was still sitting at his locker in full uniform with a towel over his head 20 minutes after the game ended. Meanwhile, Tayshaun Prince refused to talk to the press. And really, what was there to say? Other than this...
John Kuester, quote machine: After his team blew a 2-point lead in the final minutes, Kuester said: "We played almost 48 minutes tonight, so I'm pleased." The coach being pleased because his team "played almost 48 minutes" just shows how far this team has fallen.
The Indiana Pacers: Some people gave the Pacers a chance in this game because the Lakers have been iffy on the road this season. But those "some people" must not watch the Pacers, because they're pretty bawful...as the final score of 118-96 indicates. Andy Bynum and The Spanish Marshmallow combined for 48 points and 25 rebounds as L.A. outrebounded Indy 62-42 and outscored them 54-32 in the paint. I guess that sort of explains the turncoat behavior of...
Indiana fans: One common theme around the NBA in recent years has been the home crowd of bad teams chanting "M-V-P!" when an opposing superstar lights up their squad. And that's what happened in Indy last night as Mamba scored a game-high 29 points on 10-for-15 shooting. Remember the good old days when home court was actually an advantage? That never would have happened pre-Conseco Field House.
Jim O'Brien: It's fair to say the Pacers coach made a, ahem, tactical blunder by starting Danny Granger at power forward against Gasol and Troy "The American Marshmallow" Murphy at center against Bynum. And nobody was more shocked -- or pleased -- than Phil Jackson: "I don't know whether Jim was baiting us or not, but he started Murphy on him [Bynum]. Drew is a plus-7-footer with probably 30 pounds, 40 pounds on him at least. It's almost an impossible feat for them to cover Drew."
Murphy didn't sound real pleased about being the sacrificial lamb: "We went with a small lineup against a big front line. It's tough. You're going to give up things inside, and that's what happened."
Oh well. Winning's for losers.
The Minnesota Timberwolves: It was probably too much to hope for both of the league's worst teams to pull out wins on the same night, and the Crabs made sure that didn't happen. By a lot. The Timberpoops actually stunned the world by competing for a full 12 minutes before Cleveland put the clamps on in the second quarter. By games end, Minny had shot 38 percent from the field, given up a career-high 23 points on 8-for-10 shooting to J.J. Hickson, watched LeBron dance a jig with one of the arena's ushers, and of course lost 109-95.
LeBron James, ego machine: Although he didn't talk in third person last night -- as far as I know -- he did have this to say about Hickson's big game: "One thing I try to do is just stay in his ear, positively. I'm going to continue to let him know how easy it can be for him if he just does what I tell him to do. Seriously, man."
Shaq, quote machine: King Crab wasn't the only person who's been giving Hickson advice. Said Shaq: "I told J.J. when I first got here, 'J.J., you could be Cedrick Ceballos. Of course, he doesn't know who that was. I played with Cedric Ceballos, who never got any plays called for him, but he averaged 20 points and 10 rebounds. I think J.J. can do the same thing."
The Golden State Warriors: News flash: The Warrors gave up 123 points in another double-digit loss!
Kevin Durant: He finished with a game-high 28 points and 11 boards in the Thunder's home loss to the Chicago Bulls, which might make you think he played well. He did not. Facing some tenacious defense from Luol Deng, the league's third-leading scorer suffered through a stretch in which he went ice cold during a stretch when his team missed 16 straight shots and the Bulls slowly built up a double-digit lead. Durant went on to score 12 of his points during the fourth quarter, by which time the game had already slipped away.
The Atlanta Hawks: Heading into last night's game against the Spurs, the Dirty Birds were facing off against history...having not won in San Antonio since 1997. That's a really long time. And the streak remained intact after the 105-90 ass-blasting they received from a Spurs squad that has been struggling and even lost Tony Parker to a sprained left ankle in the third quarter.
The Spurs are back, baby!! Okay, not really. However, they did score a season-high 66 points in the first half while holding Atlanta to 39 percent shooting.
Said Josh Smith: "I guess we weren't ready to play."
The Portland Frail Blazers: No Brandon Roy, no chance of beating the Jazz...who shot 60 percent from the field, won by double-digits despite missing 11 free throws, and have very quietly moved up to the fourth spot in the Western Conference.
Craig Bolerjack, unintentionally dirty quote machine: Basketbawful reader Hajt submitted this beauty from Utah's announcer: "Each night Jerry Sloan looks for a hot guy and rides him to the barn." Thanks to the readers who commented and wrote in to identify him.
Lacktion report: Chris proves once again that for every action there is an equal and opposite...lacktion:
Wolves-Crabs: WOW - brothers in lacktion for the crustaceans! In a rather obvious stint of celebration, Darnell "Lacktion" Jackson and Cedric "Lacktion II: Electric Boogaloo" Jackson (who are probably not related) rescued Princess Peach together as Mario Brothers of 15 and 10 seconds respectively!!!!!!
Lakers-Pacers: Adam Morrison ate a two-brick sandwich (once from the Gateway station) for a +2 suck differential in 3:19.
Heat-Raptors: Joel Anthony negated a trio of boards in 12:23 with two fouls, two turnovers and a brick to earn a 4:3 Voskuhl.
Grizzlies-Pistons: Hasheem Thabeet is making his case to be Darko Milicic-lite for Memphis, as in 4:58, he fouled twice and lost the rock once for a +3 that doubles as a 3:0 Voskuhl. Conversely, Lester Hudson may be proving to be the missing piece of the puzzle in the Grizzlies' transformation into a potential playoff team - his status as the team's Jud Buechler-like lucky charm continues after a two-second dose of lacktion prescribed by Dr. Mario, specifically that of the Super Mario variety!!!!!
For Detroit, Chris Wilcox had a routine 3:2 Voskuhl via three fouls and two bricks against two boards in 13:45. And in non-lacktive statistical news, 14 points and 9 boards gave Ben Wallace a Calvin Murphy!
Clippers-Nyets: Marcus Camby, as a starting big man, countered two boards and an assist in 6:55 with two fouls, two giveaways, AND no shot attempts for a bawful 4:2 Voskuhl! Meanwhile, in a shocker, the Nyets were given reason to party it up with Snooki and Sammi Sweetheart tonight (by ruining their perfect decade!) and had Josh Boone take a trip to the farm of lacktivity via a single-giveaway +1 in 1:21 that also earned a 1:0 Madsen-level Voskuhl!!!
Bulls-Thunder: James Johnson tossed a singular brick from...uh...Bricktown...and added a foul and giveaway to the total for a +3 in 5:09.
Hawks-Spurs: Randolph Morris can now buy all the pallets of Nine Lives he wants, after taking down a fortune of 2.05 trillion (2:04)!!!! For San Antonio, Ian Mahinmi fouled once and missed twice from the free throw line for a +3 in 1:54, also in the ledger as a 1:0 Madsen-level Voskuhl!
In non-lacktion, Josh Smith AND Tim Duncan each scored Dantleys, Duncan going perfect on 11 attempts at the line!
Jazz-Frail Blazers: Jeff Pendegraph drew a board in 6:17, but fouled thricely for a 3:1 Voskuhl.
Hornets-Warriors: Sean Marks continues his current run of non-contribution by cashing out for a second straight game with 3.1 trillion (3:07)!
Labels: Detroit Pistons, Gilbert Arenas, Indiana Pacers, Kevin Durant, Los Angeles Clippers, Minnesota Timberwolves, Philadelphia 76ers, Worst of the Night
Gilbert Arenas: Everybody saw this coming. Everybody, that is, except Gilbert Arenas. And you know, Agent Zero could have saved himself. It was still possible. If he had simply been humble and contrite, maybe begged for a little forgiveness, Gil might still be playing basketball. Instead he joked, laughed, made finger guns at his teammates, insisted he had done nothing wrong, accused David Stern of being "scary" and "mean," and then tweeted that his finger guns were all in good, harmless fun...just a way of breaking the tension with his teammates.
Really, Gilbert? Really?
Now he's gone...maybe forever. AnacondaHL and chris did a good job of summing up (with links) all of the bizarre events that brought us to this point. And as AnacondaHL correctly pointed out: "It's like BasketBawful is writing itself."
Instead of focusing on the obviously crazy facts -- Arenas and teammate Javaris Crittenton's got into an argument over a card game, Arenas threatened to blow up Crittenton's car, Crittenton threatened to shoot Arenas in his surgically repaired knee, Arenas showed up with four unloaded guns a few days later and gave Crittenton a note telling him to take his pick, Crittenton responded by whipping out his own gun and loading it -- or David Stern's just and appropriate response (declaring Arenas unfit to play basketball and suspending him indefinitely), I'm going to talk about what might have been. What should have been.
I mean, just a few short seasons ago, Gilbert Arenas was the Clown Prince of the NBA. He stuffed the ballot box to make the All-Star team, he created awesome nicknames for himself, he bought loads of his own jerseys which he signed and handed out before and after games, he played online video games against fans, he threw lavish (and very public) birthday parties for himself, he blogged relentlessly, he publically threatened to rain jump shot-y death on anybody who had crossed him (usually inventing rivalries on the fly, and always in good fun), he dropped 60 points on Kobe Bryant and the Lakers in L.A.
At that point, I told my buddy Statbuster that Agent Zero symbolized everything fans love about the NBA. Now he's become everything they hate.
What in the bloody hell happened? He was supposed to take we, the fans, to a new and better place. He was supposed to be the future.
I guess, in retrospect, we should have known this was going to happen. Or something similarly bad. Over the last couple seasons, as injuries robbed him of a game that had been blossoming into something that could have been truly special, Arenas began to withdraw. He stopped laughing, and when he did laugh, there was an edge to it. He stopped blogging. He started barking at fans instead of joshing with them. He accused the officials of conspiring against him.
The thing that always made Gilbert Arenas such a joy to watch was the fact that he so obviously loved playing basketball. More than that, he loved being loved. But that love -- which had been given so freely to the underdog upstart who defied the odds to make it in the best basketball league in the world -- started to die a little when Arenas signed a $111 million contract while recovering from injury only to get injured again and missing most of the season. For whatever reason, fans tend to become bitter and resentful when players sign big-money contracts and don't immediately play up to (or above) the level of that contract. (For further reading, see Lewis, Rashard.) And Gilbert didn't play up to the level of his contract. Heck, he wasn't playing at all.
Being mocked and openly criticized by so many people seemed to really get to him. And it became obvious this season that he no longer genuinely loved basketball the way he used to. I would guess that's because he not only had to come back from a pretty serious injury (which is always harder than the average joe realizes), but because he felt pressured to justify -- to the experts, to the fans, and especially to his teammates -- that he still had it, that he was worth every penny of that $111 million, that he was still The Man...while also working to fit in on a team that had played most of the last two seasons without him.
That would be a pretty serious challenge for even the most well-adjusted human being.
This has been nearly lost to NBA history, but Larry Bird missed all but six games of the 1988-89 season after having surgery on both of his Achilles tendons. Bird's decision to have surgery came just after he had signed a lucrative contract extension...which naturally raised a few eyebrows. (Sound familiar?) When Bird came back the next season, he shocked people (especially his teammates) by gunning to prove he was back, by subtly criticizing Celtics coach Jimmy Rodgers to the press, and by staging very public (if passive-aggressive) protests against Rodger's new "spread the wealth" offense by (at times) refusing to shoot when open and forcing passes to guys like Joe Klein.
Things got so bad that a couple of unnamed teammates -- Kevin McHale and Jim Paxon were the likely culprits -- said Bird's behavior was tearing the team report. Bird responded by calling the unnamed teammates gutless quitters.
Yes, things were getting ugly.
However, Bird turned things around by getting hot (27 PPG, 10 RPG, 8 APG while hitting nearly 50 percent of his treys in the final month of the season). But the Celtics -- despite winning 11 of their last 13 games -- never really jelled. Their season ended in a first round playoff upset by the New York Knicks...in the decisive Game 5 in Boston Garden of all places. The symbolic moment came when Boston's fourth-quarter comeback was halted because Bird missed a wide open reverse dunk. Rodgers was soon fired, Paxson was cut loose, Bird's body gave out and forced his retirement two seasons later, and the Celtic didn't recover until the last few years.
My point? Other than that all roads lead back to Larry Bird where I'm concerned? Gilbert Arenas isn't the first superstar to start cracking under the weight of expectations. And no, I'm not saying he was or ever would have been on Bird's level. I'm just saying that, considering the circumstances and everything we knew about him going into his surgeries and his singing of that otherworldly contract, his ugly downward spiral really isn't all that surprising.
I mean, the dude very nearly made himself great out of spite. Think about that. He wasn't going to let Javaris Crittenton show him up. Not in front of the other Wizards. Not when he, Gilbert Arenas, had so much on the line, both physically and psychologically.
In many ways, we had lost Gilbert Arenas -- the real Gilbert Arenas -- long before Crittendon threatened him and Stern suspended him. And it was no sure thing we were going to ever get him back. Now it's very nearly a sure thing we never will.
As sad days for the NBA go, this one is way up there.
The Washington
Wow.
This situation is so red-hot that even Shaq -- who has never to my knowledge been lost for words -- kept his mouth shut about it. According to the AP recap: "O'Neal refused to comment on Arenas' plight. After being asked, O'Neal simply traced his fingers along his lips as if closing a zipper."
Antawn Jamison, for his part, just wants his team to focus on...wait...what are they paid to do again? Oh, yeah! Play basketball! "We have to find a way to turn this around, so we really have to put this behind us as quickly as possible," Jamison said. "It is what it is right now and we just have to focus on basketball. It's been awhile as far as us doing, but that should be our main and most important objective right now."
Good luck with that, Antawn.
The New Jersey Nyets: For the New Jersey Nyets, the hits just keep on coming. They already suck chocolate salty balls, and last night they had to play on the road against a decent team with something to prove. The Hawks had dropped four straight games, and in their previous loss to the Heat in Miami, Atlanta scored a season-low 75 points.
Fortunately for them, the Nyets were coming to town.
The result was a foregone conclusion even before the Dirty Birds held a players-only meeting the day before: a blowout victory. Like, a total blowout. Like, by 30 points. And the Nyets were down 17 points after the first quarter, so it's not like the Hawks slowly pulled away or anything. This was like old school Mike Tyson knocking somebody the hell out in the first round.
How hard did the Hawks smack the Nyets in their collective mouth? This hard:
Said Nets coach Kiki Vandeweghe: "We came out and we missed a bunch of shots right at the rim. We got anything we wanted and for some reason the basket had a lid on it. And that just gave them tons of confidence. Again, this is a very difficult time for us right now, where we're sort of stuck in mud and you've got to slug it out."
It's a slug or be slugged world. And the Nyets are feeling awful punchy.
The Orlando Magic: Speaking of struggling teams, what the hell is up with the Orlando Magic? I mean, I know the Craptors have been playing better, but what the hell? The Magic -- playing at home, by the way -- were down 18 points to start the fourth quarter. And while they made a run, their rally still ended in fail. Check out this excerpt from the AP recap:
The reigning Eastern Conference champions are in such a rut that Magic coach Stan Van Gundy said his team was "lifeless" during the latest defeat. Forward Brandon Bass even told the team at halftime that it looked "shell-shocked" because it couldn't believe what was happening to it.By the way, Hedo Turkoglu scored 17 points on 6-for-12 shooting while Vince Carter went 2-for-7 and finished with only 7 points. Vinsanity is now 10-for-47 (21 percent) in 2010. I'm just sayin'.
"My point is it's not happening to us. Some things happen to you. Those things are out of your control. We're the ones doing this. We're the actors," Van Gundy said. "We've got to change this around. It's us and we've got to do it. It's not going to happen because we miraculously do it. It's going to happen because we make it happen."
...
Mired in frustration, many Magic players -- including Carter, Rashard Lewis, Matt Barnes and Jason Williams -- left the locker room without speaking to reporters, rare for the usually calm veterans. But those who stayed said nobody is pointing fingers.
"I think that the problem is everybody," Redick said, bluntly.
The Miami Heat: The game was tied at 99-all with 5.5 seconds to go in the fourth, and the Celtics had the ball...until Dwyane Wade pilfered the ball from Ray Allen and streaked down court to throw down what probably should have been the game-winning dunk. All the Heat had to do was play defense for 0.6 seconds!
I'm sure you can guess what's coming...
I'm also sure you can guess which team went on to win this one in overtime. Without Kevin Garnett.
By the way, according to ESPN Stats and Information: "Dwyane Wade scored 44 which is tied for the most by a player this season in a losing effort. The Hornets' David West also had 44 in a loss to the Rockets on Dec. 29."
Mario Chalmers, quote machine: Chalmers was responsible for guarding Rajon Rondo on that end-of-regulation play. And here's what he said about it: "That play could happen to anyone."
Uh huh.
The Minnesota Timberpoops: Last night's home loss to the Gol_en State Warriors was their fifth in a row. What more can I say?
(Other than, you know, they gave up 26 points off 19 turnovers in a 6-point loss...while giving up 21 layups and 3 dunks. As always, I'm just sayin'.)
The Detroit Pistons: Last night's blowout loss to the Spurs was their 11th straight loss. What more can I say?
(Other than, you know, they missed 11 free throws while letting the Spurs nearly 60 percent from the field and from downtown. And they finally have everybody healthy and back in the lineup, so there really aren't any more excuses for their crappy play. Again, just sayin'.)
Rockets-Suns: Both of these teams receive a WotN. The Suns built a 16-point lead in the first quarter before, unbelievably, falling behind by 16 in the second quarter. Seriously.
Suns coach Alvin Gentry -- who's been in the coaching biz for 30 years, by the way -- said: "It's as crazy a game as I've ever been in. I looked at the stat sheet and we had a 16-point lead, then they had a 16-point lead. That's a 32-point swing."
He can't coach defense...but at least he can add.
The Phoenix _efense surrendered career-highs to both Aaron Brooks (34 points) and Carl Landry (31), but the rest of the Rockets were only 18-for-51 (35 percent).
As for the Suns, they shot at their usual blistering pace -- 54 percent from the field, 52 from beyond the arc -- but compensated by (as usual) being careless with the ball, to the tune of 17 turnovers for 25 points going the other way. And here's a bizarre little factoid from the AP recap: "It was the second time this season the Suns had rallied from a 16-point deficit in back-to-back games, their only two wins in eight tries in back-to-backs."
I have no idea what to make of that.
On the flipside, here's another factoid: "This was only the third time this season the defense-minded Rockets had allowed more than 113 points."
It was a crazy game. A fun game. An high-scoring game. And yet, oddly enough, kind of an ugly game. If that makes any sense.
The Memphis Grizzlies: The newly plus-.500 Griz fell back to .500 with a 117-94 blowout loss to the Utah Jeckyll and Hydes. What had to leave a crusty taste in the mouth of every Memphis players is that Utah was missing it's best player (Deron William) and blasted the Grizzlies anyway.
What's more, the Jekyll and Hydes -- who, again, were Deron Williams-less -- shot 57 percent and racked up a season-high 39 assists on 46 field goals. That's right. Utah tallied an assist on 85 percent of their baskets. That's...kind of incredible actually. Utah's bench had almost as many dimes (14) as the entire Memphis team (15).
Said Jerry Sloan: "When you pass the ball, and share, you get a lot of easy baskets."
No kidding.
Of course, it was one of those typicl back-to-back game situations for the Griz, who were coming off a tough 109-105 win in Portland the night before. Said Zach Randolph: ""They outworked us tonight. We came off a hard game last night and I think we were fatigued."
O.J. Mayo, on the other hand, felt his team didn't need no stinking excuses: ""Everybody in the NBA plays back-to-back. We just came out maybe a little timid. We need to play harder than we did tonight."
Mayo has a point. I mean, Memphis had 19 fast break points, so they must have had a little energy. Of course, they couldn't shoot, defend or hold onto the ball (20 turnovers for 26 points going the other way), and those are all telltale signs of weary legs.
Lionel Hollins, quote machine: Regarding his team's rematch with the Jazz on Friday: "If you weren't happy by the whoopin' that you got tonight, then you'll come back and compete the next game." I love it when a coach uses the word "whoopin'."
Ron Boone, Jazz Color Commentator and unintentionally dirty quote machine: This totally awesome quote was submitted by Basketbawful reader Jenna W. regarding CJ Miles' first quarter of 13 points on 5-for-6 shooting: "Well, when a guy is hot, for the most part, you wanna milk him."
As Greg Focker once said, you can milk just about anything nipples...
The Los Angeles Lakers: On the subject of weary teams playing the second game of back-to-backs...the mighty Lakers had just pulled back on top of most of the NBA Power Rankings before losing to...the Clippers.
Yep. The Other L.A. Team.
Were the still Pau Gasol-less Lakers lagging in the leg department? You tell me. They shot only 38 percent from the field (thanks largely to Mamba's 10-for-30 stink bomb), got outscored 54-34 in the paint, and gave up 26 fast break points.
Said Kobe: "They played better than we did. We weren't able to keep them out of transition. We lost because of our transition defense. We just gave up way too many easy points." Well, that and your shooting...but yeah...
Mike Dunleavy Sr., quote machine: "All these Laker people on the radio and all these Laker hangers-on, they're touting all those streaks, that we lost the last nine straight," said Dunleavy, who once coached the Lakers. "But we've had guys in the medical ward. In a fair fight, we're a good team."
...
Phil Jackson, unintentionally dirty quote machine: Regarding the Clippers', ahem, domination of his team: "They were down our throats all night." [Thanks, Adam. Yes, I saw you all the way down there.]
Mark Jackson: As Baron Davis (25 points, 10-for-18, 10 assists) was lighting up the scoreboard, Jackson exclaimed: "This is the Baron Davis who can be one of the premier point guards in this league." No offense to B-Dizzle...but he was playing against Derek Fisher's corpse, which tends to make opposing PGs look pretty darn good.
Jeff Van Gundy: For some reason, Mike Breen, Mark Jackson and Van Ghouly always end up getting into a "Greatest Lakers" discussion. I hate this...especially because Van Ghouly always insists on the controversial viewpoint that Kobe Bryant either is or will be the greatest Laker ever.
Look, Magic Johnson is the greatest Laker ever. Period. Maybe that'll change. Maybe it won't. But until it does change, can we please stop discussing it? Thanks.
Lacktion report: Despite persistent finger cramps from keeping us all up-to-date on the latest Gilbert Arenas news, chris still provided his daily lacktion update:
Nyets-Hawks: Despite a steal in 4:14, Jason Collins downed a foul for a 1:0 Madsen-level Voskuhl.
Bullets-Crabs: With top lacktator Dominic McGuire as his teammate, the fabulous Fabricio Oberto had to be gunning for a career-defining non-performance in the wake of Agent Zero being pulled out of Washington's arsenal. Locked and loaded into the lineup as starting big man, Oberto did not fail to disappoint at the Q with four fouls in 11:06 for a +4 suck differential AND a 4:0 Voskuhl that gives him a shot at worst starter in the Association this season!!!!
Warriors-Wolves: Nathan Jawai bricked once in 4:12 and added a rejection to earn a +2 for the Timberpups!
Pistons-Spurs: Jonas Jerebko tossed two pieces of masonry (once from the Riverwalk) and took a rejection for a +3 in 2:08 for Detroit, with teammate Austin Daye earning a +2 in 3:50 via giveaway and his own miss behind the arc.
Rockets-Suns: Louis Amundson radiated one foul in 4:08 to shine with a +1.
Grizzlies-Jazz: Jerry Sloan celebrating ending the Grizzlies' brief dalliance with a winning record by putting Kosta Koufos on the floor for a celebratory +1 via foul in 3:10 that also earned a 1:0 Madsen-level Voskuhl.
Lakers-Clippers: Despite the shocking victory that Team Dunleavy earned at home against their co-tenants, Phil Jackson was able to send out Sasha Vujacic to lack it up, garnering a +2 via brick from the Million Dollar Theater and a foul in 6:16.
Labels: Gilbert Arenas, guns are ha ha funny but not really, New Jersey Nets
The Orlando Magic: The Pacers had dropped nine of their last 10 games, which included a near-historic 43-point loss to the New York Knicks on Sunday. Their only win during that stretch came at home against the Timberpoops from Minnesota. They are and have been without their best player, Danny Granger, since December 5.
And yet they somehow handed the Magic their second consecutive loss to a sub-.500 team. Orlando's offense was frozen vomit on a stick, as they hit only 38 percent of their shots and missed nine free throws.
They are not a good team right now. And their coach knows it.
Said Stan Van Gundy: "Look, we're just playing terrible, we really are," Orlando coach Stan Van Gundy said. "Offensively, it's just really bad right now. We can't score, we can not score. I need to look at everything, playing different guys, I don't know. It's just not working in the least."
And, just like their loss to the Bulls last Saturday, you can blame...
Orlando's "Big Three": Dwight Howard, Rashard Lewis and Vince Carter combined for 24 points on 8-for-31 from the field against the Bulls. But get this: they were even worst against the Pacers, scoring only 21 points on 6-for-29 shooting. They also combined for 1 lonely assist versus 7 turnovers. Were they replaced by body doubles or something? Were they abducted by aliens? Have they been staying up all night playing WoW? Seriously...what's going on with these guys? Remember: they are the 9th (Lewis), 16th (Carter) and 24th (Howard) highest paid players in the league. We're talking about a combined $50 million worth of players here!
Dwight Howard: I know, I know. "Superman" already got tagged in my previous entry. But remember, he's Orlando's franchise player and supposedly the best center in the league. Yet his last five games have been: 5 points (1-for-7) in a loss to the Celtics, 17 points (8-for-11) in a win over the Bucks, 9 points (4-for-10) in a close win over the Timberwolves, 9 points (3-for-7) in a loss to the Bulls and now 11 points (2-for-6) in a loss to the Pacers.
Can you say "slump"? Now can you say "awesome superballs"? That second one was more fun, wasn't it? But I digress.
Teams have finally figured out how to stop Howard: play him physical. That's it. That's the "secret formula" for shutting down the league's dominant center. Kendrick Perkins provided the blueprint (and the explanation) after the Magic lost at home to the Celtics on Christmas day. Brad Miller -- yes, Brad Miller -- used that blueprint last weekend. And last night, Roy Hibbart freaking owned Howard. Owned him. Hibby finished with a career-high 26 points (10-for-19), 8 boards and 4 blocks...while Dwight committed a game-high 5 turnovers and fouled out in only 28 minutes.
Physical play is now to Dwight Howard like crosses and holy water is to a vampire (and I mean a real vampire, not those Twilight pussies): It makes Dwight's flesh sizzle and fall off. I say we officially change his nickname from Superman to...Powdered Toast Man!
Update! Dan B. writes: "I'm not so sure about calling Dwight Howard "Powdered Toast Man." He's way too good of a super hero. We need someone even more useless and ineffective. I know I just referenced him a few days ago, but I'm still leaning toward the Puma Man. If nothing else, the Puma Man is notorious for looking stylish in his sensible slacks, and David Stern would be happy with that since it would fit the dress code."
Actually, that might be perfect, considering that one of Puman Man's powers is "temporarily feigning death." That's what Dwight has been doing lately...right?
The Chicago Bulls: Quick quiz: Which was worse, letting the Bobcats (who average about 92 PPG) shoot over 51 percent and score the second-highest point total of the season (113), or letting Flip Murray (8 PPG on 36 percent shooting for the season) dismantle you off the bench with 25 points on 8-for-12 shooting (mostly off cheap one-on-one plays)? Quick answer: Yes.
The Philadelphia 76ers: What better time to catch the Washington
Wait a tick...didn't Arenas just say "I now realize that there’s no such thing as joking around when it comes to guns" in a finely crafted statement? I guess he was just, you know, joking about not joking about guns. Or something.
Of course, after the game, Gilbert tweeted: "I know everybody seen the pre game pics..my teammate thought to break the tention we should do that..but this is gettn way to much." A few minutes later, he tweeted again: "I wanna say sorry if I pissed any body off by us havin fun...I'm sorry for anything u need to blame for for right now."
Huh. I wonder if Kobe Bryant tried to break the locker room tension during his 2003 rape trial by pantomiming some anal rampage on teammate Rick Fox?
But all those hilarious distractions didn't prevent the Philadelphia 76ers from coughing up an 18-point lead at home and losing 104-97. Let's face it: they are who we thought they were. Said Allen Iverson: "We just gave it away. It was like a late Christmas present to them." Hey, speaking of The Not Answer...
Allen Iverson: According to ESPN Stats and Information: "Allen Iverson had a season-low 4 points on 2-for-6 shooting, the fewest field goals he's attempted in a game in which he played at least 30 minutes."
The Sixers -- who just guaranteed A.I.'s contract for the rest of the season -- are now 4-6 since his return. I won't say anything else...I'd hate for anybody to think I was picking on him. But I will pick on this guy...
Alejandro: Basketbawful reader Giorgio writes: "Last night my friend from México called Alejandro (AD8) refused an invitation from a girl who said" im all alone in my house and bored" because he was watching Wizards vs Sixers game... EPIC FAIL."
Alejandro, this video's for you:
The New Jersey Nyets: The Bucks entered last night's game a mere 3-11 outside of Milwaukee...but not to worry! They were playing the New Jersey Nyets!
It's funny. When the Nyets snapped their 10-game losing streak against the Knicks last Wednesday, everybody was talking about how they were finally healthy and how things were changing in New Jersey. Wah-wah-waaaaaaah. They basically played the dead cockroach last night, getting crushed by 22 points at home against a crummy road team as the likes of Carlos Delfino, Luke Ridnour and Hakim Warrick combined to score 53 points off Milwaukee's bench.
Mind you, the Bucks started off 0-for-7 with 3 turnovers in their first 10 possessions.
Said New Jersey coach Kiki Vandeweghe: "There is no way to sugarcoat this. We did not come out and play well tonight."
Devin Harris: After the game, Harris said: "We still have fight, we just didn't show it tonight." He must have been talking specifically about himself after finishing with only 5 points on 0-for-4 shooting in 36 minutes. I best Mark Cuban was high-fiving himself after this game.
The Detroit Pistons: Okay, in all honesty, I wouldn't expect the Pistons to beat the Mavericks in Dallas, but that doesn't change the facts. And these are the facts...according to the AP recap: "The Pistons lost their 10th straight game, their longest losing streak in a season since April 1994. They are 11 games below .500 for the first time since the 2000-01 season. ... Detroit hasn't dropped 10 in a row since the end of the 1993-94 season. The Pistons lost their final 13 games that season to finish 20-62."
Historic fail.
Monta Ellis: Oh wow. The Warriors were up 122-121 with 0.4 seconds remaining when Ellis fouled J.R. Smith on a desperation heave from 40 freaking feet. Smith was awarded three freebies. He hit the first two and intentionally missed the third so the clock would run out to end the game. It didn't -- the Warriors called time with 0.1 second left on the clock and ended up running a failed alley-oop play -- and the Nuggets won 123-122.
Home cookin': Okay, but c'mon, how do the refs make this call? Fast forward to the 1:05 mark.
That was seriously one of the worst last-second calls I have ever seen in 20+ years of following the NBA. And I personally lived through Larry Johnson's bogus four-point play against the Pacers in '99. Monta's "contact" was negligible at best, and no God in this universe would have answered Smith's prayer of a shot. Just awful, awful officiating. Not surprising...but awful.
Ellis wisely declined comment about that foul after the game, but Golden State coach Don Nelson gave a telling quote: "You lose at the buzzer, it's tough. Bad teams just don't get breaks. Let's face it, you just don't get breaks. That was our game."
The Golden State Warriors: As bad as that call was -- and it was so very, very bad -- the Warriors have nobody to blame but themselves and their own crummy _efense. I mean, Denver was missing Carmelo Anthony, Chauncey Billups and the Birdman, but they still scored 123 points on 51 percent shooting and had four players with 20 or more points...including a season-high 27 for Kenyon Martin. Freaking Ty Lawson had 21 points on 8-for-12 shooting before leaving the game with an ankle injury. When was the last time the Warriors played defense? Was it this season? Last season? Seriously. I want to know.
The Portland Trail Blazers: Let me set the stage for you: playing against the Frail Blazers in Portland, the Bizarro Grizzlies were down 104-96 with 3:45 remaining. But instead of becoming a bear skin rug on Brandon Roy's floor, Memphis outscored Portland 13-1 to pull out a 109-105 win that pushed them over .500 for the first time since...well...a really long time.
Of course, it wouldn't be the NBA if a close game wasn't mucked up by some more bad officiating. With the game tied and about a half minute remaining, Roy -- who scored a co-game-high 27 points -- had the ball near midcourt against O.J. Mayo. Mayo reached in and tipped the ball loose, and as the two players were chasing the rock, the refs called a foul on Roy. Mayo hit the first of two free throws with 21 seconds remaining to give Memphis the lead.
Said Mayo: "I got lucky to get a loose ball foul on him. It was a good gamble that worked out.
Even Memphis coach Lionel Hollins admitted the foul "could have gone either way." Again, what's with these ticky tac calls at the end of games? What happened to letting the players play? I mean, if somebody gets hacked on the arms or wrestled to the ground, by all means, make the call. But...I mean...really...
The Grizzlies' free throw shooting: If the officials hadn't bailed the Grizzlies out, Memphis no doubt would have been kicking themselves in the ass for bonking 13 free throws. Instead, I'll kick them in the ass for it. It's what I do.
The Phoenix Suns: Steve Nash (30 points, 12 assists) and Amar''''''e Stoudemire (24 points, 8 boards, 3 steals, 2 blocked shots) carried the Suns to victory down the stretch, but it shouldn't have come to that. I mean, Phoenix had a 20-point lead in the first half. We all know after that 35-point comeback in Chicago, no lead is safe against the Kings. But with all due respect, that was the Bulls and these were the Suns.
Although, now that I think about it, when it comes to the Phoenix D, no lead is safe. So I guess it really was the perfect storm.
Said Stoudemire: "We have to cut that out. We have to find a way to maintain the lead. Once you get a great lead like we did tonight, we have to win that way."
It might have helped if the Suns hadn't greased the ball with hot butter. Phoenix gave up 23 points off 18 turnovers, 11 of which were bumbled away by Nash (7) and Sun Tzu (4).
Tough loss for the Kings, who have now dropped six of the last seven games, a stretch that's included overtime losses to Cleveland and the Los Angeles Lakers, a home loss to the Lakers courtesy of Kobe's buzzer-beating three-pointer, and close losses to the Mavs and Suns.
Still, they have to feel pretty good to be keeping it real against elite teams. Said Sactown coach Paul Westphal: "We will not be discouraged and we will start winning these games. For whatever reason, we've had a string of having our heart pulled out of our chest. This team is coming back and we're going to keep coming back and we're going to start winning these close games."
You know what? I actually believe him.
The Houston Rockets: Let's talk about missed opportunities again. The Rockets simply aren't going to have a better shot at downing the Lakers, who were missing Pau Gasol and suffered through bad shooting nights by Kobe Bryant (9-for-23) and Ron Artest (3-for-11). But Houston got Godzilla'd by Andrew Bynum (24 points, 10-for-16, 11 points in the fourth) and Lamar Odom (17 points and a season-high 19 rebounds).
Kobe Bryant, quote machine: He explained away his bad shooting night by blaming his busted digit -- "My finger was horrible, horrible. I had to make a lot of left-handed moves. I just got to play through it." -- but when asked whether the injury would force him to reduce his minutes, Mamba said: "What, am I going to get a bib and a rattle?"
Lacktion report: What WotN entry would be complete without Chris' lacktivity roundup?
Bulls-Bobcats: Stephen Graham briefly kicked a Koopa shell for an 18 second Mario!
Bullets-Sixers: Jason Kapono fired off a foul and two bricks (once from Philadelphia City Hall) in 6:49 to earn a +3 suck differential.
Pistons-Mavs: Quinton Ross gave Mark Cuban a belated Christmas gift of a Virtual Boy for a 17 second Mario!
Warriors-Pistons: Chris Hunter targeted the lacktion ledger tonight by countering two boards in 7:15 with four fouls and one giveaway for a 5:2 Voskuhl.
Grizzlies-Blazers: Hamed Haddadi gave Team Z-Bo another reason to celebrate by putting on the overalls for a 14 second Mario!
Rockets-Lakers: With two giveaways and a foul, DJ Mbenga spun a +3 in 3:18 and a 3:0 Voskuhl!
Labels: anal rampage, Dwight Howard, Gilbert Arenas, guns are ha ha funny, Houston Rockets, New Jersey Nets, officiating, Orlando Magic, Portland Trail Blazers, Worst of the Night
The Atlanta Hawks: After last night's loss to the Heat in Miami, Atlanta's Mike Bibby said: "If we would've put a little more effort in, it would have been a different story."
A "little more effort," Mike? Really? Because this latest defeat -- the Hawks' fourth in a row -- looked kind of blowout-y to me. After all, your team lost by 17 points and while being held to season lows in points (75) and field-goal percentage (35.2). Joe Johnson (11 points, 4-for-15) was your only starter to score in double figures. That group -- which included you, Mr. Bibby -- shot 16-for-46 and had almost as many turnovers (6) as assists (8). And Mr. Bibby, despite being Atlanta's starting PG, you were out-assisted 0-1 by Miami's backup center Jamaal Magloire. Oh, and you guys got crushed on the boards too (52-30).
It's safe to say your coach doesn't quite share your optimistic appraisal. Said Mike Woodson: "Unacceptable, how we played tonight."
Newsflash: the Hawks are 2-6 since December 19. And this is the team's first four-game skid since, well, January of last season. Dismissed as coincidence.
Said Al Horford: "It happens. That's the way the season is. There are highs and lows. Right now, this is our low."
He's not wrong.
The Utah Jazz: What a Jekyll and Hyde team. The Jazz had beaten the Hornets six straight times in Utah -- all double-digit wins, by the way -- before last night's 91-87 loss. It looked like that trend might continue when the Musicians outscored the Buzzers 32-24 in the first quarter. However, the tide turned in the third when New Orleans outscored Utah 25-11, and the Jazz had their fourth-quarter rally stolen (literally) by Chris Paul, who pilfered a pass and drove in for the game-clinching layup with 27 seconds left.
That's three straight losses for the Jazz, who have lost five of six overall. Conversely, it was just the third road win for the Hornets this season and their first in Utah in almost four years (not to mention CP3's third win over Deron Williams in 14 career head-to-head matchups).
Devin Brown -- who laced his shoes for the Jazz back in 2005-06 -- had a classic revenge game by scoring a career-high 30 points on 11-for-20 shooting (including 5-for-8 from downtown).
Deron Williams: Remember that CP3 steal that led to his game-clinching layup? Go up three paragraphs if you don't. Anyway, that play came courtesy of a sloppy pass (intended for Andre Kirilenko) from Williams. Said Deron: ""He made a great anticipation. I should have thrown it up to Andrei high. He's a lot taller than Chris. It was a bad pass by me."
Indeed it was. And it killed what should have been a great night for Williams. Not only did he outscore (17 to 12), outshoot (6-for-11 to 5-for-15) and out-assist (11 to 9) Chris Paul, he passed the 3,000-assist mark for his career. (Only about 12,800 assists behind John Stockton!)
The Portland Trail Blazers: You think the Frail Blazers are looking a little thin in the frontcourt? They were dominated by the killer combo of Chris Kaman (20 points, 9-for-13, 8 rebounds, 4 assists) and Marcus Camby (9 points, 15 rebounds, 6 assists, 3 steals, 3 blocked shots) as the Clippers outscored them 44-32 in the painted rectangle. It was such an overpowering performance -- yes, I'm still talking about the Clippers -- that The Other L.A. Team won by 10 despite giving up 20 points off 20 turnovers.
The Clips also put the clamps on Brandon Roy (6 points, 3-for-12). Mind you, Roy had scored 20+ points for 15 straight games before running into the steel trap of the Clippers' defense.
Actually, defense was a problem for the Blazers...only it was their defense, and not the Clippers, that brought about their doom. The Other L.A. Team shot a ball-busting 58 percent from the field and over 61 percent from beyond the arc (8-for-13). Seriously, guys, can we get some hands for these faces or what? I know they're the Clippers and everything, but you still have to defend them.
Said Portland coach Nate McMillan: "We made it an offensive game, and we didn't establish that we could stop that team. So they got what they wanted and controlled the majority of the game." Later, McMillan added: "I think the whole league feels that if that team is healthy and together, they are a serious threat in the West."
Technically speaking, that's true. Only nobody in the league is all that worried about your team getting healthy, Nate.
Update! Chris Kaman: Yes, he put a hurtin' on the Blazers...but he also had a starring role in the 36-year-old Juwan Howard's first poster in, what, 10 years? Thanks to Drew for the link.
The Chicago Bulls: Vinny Del Negro "earned" a little short-term job security by "coaching" his team to a four-game winning streak. Too bad for Vinny that streak ended last night, as the Oklahoma City Thunder owned the second half against his Bullies, outscoring them 51-33 in the final 24 minutes. And let me tell you, it was a real defensive bitch-slapping. Here's part of what I said about it at By The Horns:
What many people may not yet realize about this young Thunder squad is that they have become a top-notch defensive unit. Seriously. They rank 9th in Forced Turnovers Per Game (15.3), 8th in Defensive Efficiency (101.3 Points Allowed Per 100 Possessions), and 4th in Blocked Shots Per Game (6.0). Moreover, their opponents convert only 59 percent of their shots at the rim. That’s the 9th best mark in the league, which is especially impressive since their opponents attempt the fourth-most shots at the rim per game (29.4).Of course, it might have helped if Chicago's bench had contributed, well, anything at all. Instead, they shot 5-for-27 from the field. For those of you who enjoy simple math, that's 18 percent accuracy (or, if you prefer, 82 percent inaccuracy). Speaking of the Bulls' bench...
I bring all this up because the Thunder won last night by shutting the Bulls down in the second half, holding them to only 33 points in the final 24 minutes. The key was the third quarter, when Oklahoma City outscored Chicago 32-14. And they did that by protecting the rim. Like, with a vengeance. The Bulls were getting into the paint at will, but they could not convert. Chicago missed an astonishing 13 layups and tip shots in that third quarter alone, five of which were blocked.
For the game, the Bulls missed an astounding 29 of 53 shots at the rim. The Thunder basically built a brick wall around the basket. And the Bulls ran face-first into it.
Tyrus Thomas: T-Time had been playing great in the four games since he'd returned from forearm surgery...but that ended last night as Tyrus "Jump Shot" Thomas made his not-so-triumphant return. He went 3-for-12 from the field while earning only one lonely free throw attempt. Nine of his 12 shots were jumpers, seven of which came from 16-23 feet out. He had two layups stuffed in Oklahoma City's third-quarter run, and on one rare foray to the basket, he attempted an awkward stutter dribble and got picked clean by Nick Collison.
I hope you were man enough to hide your face in shame. Oh, good.
Jose Calderon: Could No-Way Jose be the key to Toronto's historically bawful defense? John Hollinger sure seems to think so...and he has the damning numbers to prove it:
Calderon, by all accounts, had been horrid on defense. He hurt his hip two games after the Atlanta disaster and has played only seven minutes over the past 13 games, a stretch that coincides with the Raptors' best defensive effort of the season ... As bad as Toronto has been on defense this year, it has been orders of magnitude worse with Calderon playing. The Raptors are 11.2 points per 100 possessions worse with Calderon on the floor than when he's off it -- roughly the difference between Golden State and the Celtics on defense. Subjective evaluation backs up the numbers -- he's been beaten off the dribble as easily as any other point guard I've seen this season, and that's been the case ever since he tore his hamstring early in the 2008-09 campaign. Of course, Calderon's supporters will argue that part of the reason his on-court versus off-court numbers are so bad is that he has been out of the lineup when his teammates have finally started defending with some zeal. And it might be a fair point: As bad as he's looked, it's extremely unlikely that a single player could have an impact as profound as Calderon's on-court versus off-court numbers imply. We should get a better answer soon. Calderon is scheduled to return to the lineup Wednesday for the Raptors' game against Orlando.Lacktion report: Chris completes our nightly recap with the lacktion report:
Hawks-Heat: In the rematch of the Least Interesting Seven-Game Series Ever, Joe Smith blandly batted down an assist with two fouls for a 2:0 Voskuhl in 5:19, while fellow dirty bird Jason Collins blinged it up with a 3 trillion (3:01)! In the same time period that Collins struck it rich, Jeff Teague bricked once from the Jewelry District for a +1 suck differential.Gilbert Arenas: Oooooooooooh...he was just kidding around (via TrueHoop)!
Hornets-Jazz: Ronnie Price collected a +6 in 10:06 by giving Utah a rejection, a foul, a giveaway AND three bricks!
Blazers-Clippers: The solidly sucky Steve Novak provided some celebration for Mike Dunleavy's squad with a two-brick +2 in 1:52.
As I have said before, I had kept the four unloaded handguns in my house in Virginia, but then moved them over to my locker at the Verizon Center to keep them away from my young kids. I brought them without any ammunition into the District of Columbia, mistakenly believing that the recent change in the DC gun laws allowed a person to store unloaded guns in the District.Awh, it's okay, Gil. I'm sure I speak for everybody everywhere when I say we've all pulled unloaded guns on co-workers as a joke before! Am I right? Hey, speaking of irresponsible gun use...
On Monday, December 21st, I took the unloaded guns out in a misguided effort to play a joke on a teammate. Contrary to some press accounts, I never threatened or assaulted anyone with the guns and never pointed them at anyone.
Joke or not, I now recognize that what I did was a mistake and was wrong. I should not have brought the guns to DC in the first place, and I now realize that there’s no such thing as joking around when it comes to guns -- even if unloaded.
Jayson Williams: Just when you thought accidentally killing your driver and trying to cover it up, then getting tasered by cops for acting "suicidal" and "violent", then getting arrested for passing out knuckle sandwiches in a bar fight was rock bottom...Jayson Williams apparently got drunk and ran his car into a tree. How many wrecks can a train get into before it gets decommissioned?
Labels: Atlanta Hawks, Chicago Bulls, Gilbert Arenas, Jayson Williams, Jose Calderon, Portland Trail Blazers, Utah Jazz, Worst of the Night
Kings-Lakers: [Editor's note: The following recap was submitted by our very own Sactown lacktion reporter.] I'm an astute student of history, so I understand the checkered past of the Kings franchise. When the last championship not only occurred 59 years ago (before my parents were born!), but occurred FOUR cities and one team name change ago, it's easy to remember the more painful moments this team has endured, whether it's the ignominy of being the only major league sports team ever located in Omaha, Nebraska for a time...or a roof collapse in Kansas City in the late 70s, forcing them to play in a 6000 seat barn instead...or using the same painfully average-looking logo in four mid-market cities over 24 years...or going 1-40 on the road one season.
And that's all BEFORE bringing up Tim Donaghy and 2002!
I haven't been a Sacramento-area resident as long as I had been a Bay Area resident, but in the Kings I see a team much more tied to local identity than their counterpart down the road in East Oakland. This is what has put the state capital on the map, a presence in the Association that the River City embraced much more than any of the traveling mid-market circus's previous stops.
Sadly, Friday night served as a great way to sum up the life of a mid-market fan.
Sure, there's the built-in excuse of both K-Mart and Tyreke the Freak being in the infirmary. There's also the present reality that since the 35-point comeback at the United Center, the paupers have gone 1-4 and have lost four winnable games in that span, as well as Mr. Evans's services for a temporary period.
Tom Ziller's recap at SactownRoyalty does a pretty good job of covering the minutiae, and I'll also mention that the purple paupers led 64-49 at the half, and at one point earlier led by TWENTY points. Hawes exploded for 30 points and Casspi backed that up with 23 markers of his own.
But after taking a second here to mention Shannon Brown drawing a foulout on Jason Thompson (he of the 8:6 Voskuhl, bricking six times) by stepping on Thompson's sneakers, let me quote myself from Bawful After Dark comments as to that excruciating final 15 seconds of the game:
- Westphal blows the inbound with a timeout when he had a man [Spencer Hawes!] breaking open.
- Udoka misses the two foul shots with four ticks left on the clock.
- THE KINGS LET FREAKING KOBE BRYANT GO UNGUARDED FROM DOWNTOWN, AND HE EASILY MAKES THE THREE TO THE DELIGHT OF THE STAPLES CENTER FANS.
I mean. Seriously. You could not come up with a more painful way to lose the game than what just happened, not when you led by 15 at halftime and 20 at various points, not when you had a chance to ice it with free throws with 4 seconds to go.
The Association: Where Choking Happens. :(
Yeah, go look at the shot and tell me how much space you see. What's that, 20-30 feet between Kobe and anyone in purple? Even Don Nelson would be shocked at the lack of defensive presence all the way from the arc through the key. Mamba was so wide open, if Frank Selvy were in that spot, he would have made that shot too!!!
Somehow I don't think Paul Westphal was pleased with the zero-teaming his squad chose to employ on the reigning Finals MVP. (Especially when just a week ago, they witnessed the Crabs successfully triple-team Tyreke Evans out of any chance at a game-winner in Natomas!) His post-game presser contained his usual amiable, glib manner (as he tried to sidestep the potential officiating discussion that has been inevitable, what with a possible Kobe push-off and all) but hey, at what point do these losses "we can take positives from" suddenly become merely losses?
Gah.
(Westphal at least appears to be the master of subtle digs - the coach's post-game statement, "We've seen it for years now...the Lakers have their late-game magic, and I hope we can have that someday" has to rank as much more incisive than yet another of Grant "Peaches" Napear's rants against officiating.)
Mike D'Antoni: The Bricks eked out an overtime win over the Hawks in Atlanta, mostly because Nate Robinson scored 41 points off the bench, including 11 of New York's 13 points in the OT session. In fact, he scored 19 of the Bricks' final 21 points overall. And yes, that's the same Nate Robinson that D'Antoni benched for 14 straight games, even when his team was struggling mightily to score. Mind you, Krypto-Nate has the third-most 30-point games off the bench (10) since 2005-06, behind only Ben Gordon (12) and Manu Ginobili (13).
Atlanta's Jamal Crawford, who grew up near Robinson in Seattle, said: "I've seen it since high school. When he's scoring, he's as good as the best of them. ... He did whatever he wants." Added Bricks teammate David Lee: "Against a great team, Nate single-handedly carried us. It was unreal to watch him play tonight."
Again: 14 straight DNP-CDs.
Said D'Antoni: "We've just been trying to get him focused on winning, and he obviously was focused on that tonight."
As Basketbawful reader Davros said: "Mike D'Antoni just made Nate Robinson."
LeBron James: So...his new shoes are Knicks-colored and say "I Heart New York." That sound you just heard was a tidal wave of vomit spilling out of the greater Cleveland area. Update! Apparently, this was a hoax. Consider my face covered in egg.
Gilbert Arenas: Worst $111 million investment ever. But at least he has led directly to stuff like this.
Friday lacktion report: Through his red haze of pain, Chris still managed to report the night's lacktion:
Magic-Wolves: Brandon Bass laid an expensive, celebratory note tonight by garnering a 1.85 trillion (1:51) for Stan Van Gundy.
Kings-Lakers: With six bricks, starter Jason Thompson earned himself an 8:6 Voskuhl by fouling out and accruing two turnovers against six boards in 24:36, while Josh Powell saw his 4.35 trillion (4:21) turn into a harbinger for victory after Kobe Bryant was given a free three with a second left by the purple paupers' efense.
The New Jersey Nyets: While they did play the Crabs reasonably close, the 94-86 loss still dropped the Nyets to 3-30 and in close contention for "Worst NBA Team Ever" status.
The Miami Heat: Just when it looked like the Heat were, er, heating up, Miami hit the skids once again. After losing by 30 points in San Antonio on New Year's Eve, the Heat returned home only to lose 107-97 to the Charlotte Bobcats. Miami's defense disappeared in crunch time, as the 'Cats shot 85 percent (11-for-13) in the final eight and a half minutes, including 6-for-7 from downtown.
Uhm...hand in the face anybody?
Mind you, the Bobcats were 0-14 this season in road games where they had trailed.
As for the Heat, things could get worse before they get better. They host Atlanta and Boston before playing 20 of their next 27 games on the road.
Uh oh...
The Minnesota Timberwolves: This letter just arrived c/o the T-Wolves:
To everyone involved in the Timberwolves organization,T.J. Ford: Pacers coach Jim O'Brien benched Ford and replaced him with a combination of Earl Watson and A.J. Price...and just like that the Pacers won for the first time in weeks. I'm just sayin'.
Thanks for letting us snap that damn eight-game losing streak. It means a lot. Really.
Sincerely,
Larry Bird and the Indiana Pacers
The Toronto Craptors: Losing to the Boston Celtics? No shame there. Losing to the "Boston Celtics," who were missing Kevin Garnett (knee), Paul Pierce (knee) and Rajon Rondo (hamstring)? Mucho shamo. I mean, Ray Allen started at point guard and Lester freaking Hudson got significant PT in the fourth quarter and the Celtics STILL shot nearly 52 percent from the field. Toronto: still one of the worst defensive teams of all time.
Orlando's "Big Three": Dwight Howard, Rashard Lewis and Vince Carter combined to score only 24 points on 8-for-31 shooting against the Chicago Bulls. That's only one point more than Matt Barnes scored for the Magic by himself. Matt Barnes! Not surprisingly, Orlando lost. Sure, Vinsanity left early with a sprained ankle, but he was 3-for-15 at the time, so it's not like he was lighting it up before he hobbled away.
An extra-wet raspberry goes to "Superman," who finished with only 9 points on 3-for-7 shooting against the All-Star defense of...Brad Miller. Yup. Once Joakim Noah got into foul trouble, Vinny Del Negro sicced Miller on Howard in single coverage and it totally worked. That's right. Brad Miller shut down Dwight Howard, basically by putting a big body on him and forcing him to score using a little thing called skill. Only Dwight doesn't really have a whole lot of that going for him. It has become painfully, even shamefully apparent that Howard's offense can be negated by big centers who play him physically (Miller, Kendrick Perkins, etc.).
If Dwight really wants to be the best center in the league, he can't afford to get shut down by guys like Brad Miller. I mean seriously.
The Phoenix Suns: Okay, so after back-to-back wins over the Boston Celtics and Los Angeles Lakers, the Suns get blown the hell out at home by...the Memphis Grizzlies? And the Griz reached .500 (16-16) in the process? Wait, what?! Memphis shot 53 percent both from the field and beyond the arc, outscored Phoenix 58-42 in the paint and 25-18 on the break, outrebounded them 48-38 and won by a whopping 128-103.
Whoa. [/Keanu Reeves voice] I know the Suns are a joke defensively and all that, but man oh man...are these the same Grizzlies that started the year 1-8? Actually, it's funny that I pretended you asked...because, in fact, they are not.
Allen Iverson: From the AP recap:
Memphis' resurgence started after they disposed of Allen Iverson on Nov. 17. Since then, they are 14-8, including a team-record 9-4 in December. During that month, they beat three division leaders -- Dallas, Cleveland and Denver.That's right. "Disposing" of Allen Iverson -- the man Bill Simmons believes is the 29th best player of all time -- transformed the Memphis Grizzlies, Zach Randolph and all, into winners. As always, I'm just sayin'.
"It's hasn't been easy," Gasol said of the Grizzlies' comeback from the depths of the NBA to a respectable record. "We never gave up. We continue to improve. When we were 1-8, we wanted to play good basketball and be winners. It hasn't been good for us the last few years. Now, we want more. This is just the beginning."
Coach Lionel Hollins credits his team's resurgence to camaraderie.
"We've come together as a team," he said. "We believe in each other. We've developed great chemistry. This was an awesome game ... from wire to wire. We took control right from the start. I preached yesterday [Friday] and today at practice that we can't give up easy layups to this team -- and we didn't give up many. That gives you a chance to win.
"Nobody would have thought we could come back from 1-8."
The Utah Jazz: They lost at home...by 10 points...to the Nuggets...who were without Chauncey Billups (groin strain) and Carmelo Anthony (right knee contusion).
Fail.
No wonder the home crown booed them. Those boos were richly deserved. And, frankly, they should have been accompanied by flaming bags of poo.
The Sacramento Kings: (Cue up Lacktion Chris with another tale of fail...)
So, Tyreke the Freak is back, and they're at the old barn in Natomas again. Good signs there.
They were facing Dirk and the Mavs. Not so good.
Since the 35-point comeback in Chicago, the Kings have gone 1-5 (including a loss to the Sixers), while Notorious VDN has hypnotized his heifers into a 4 game winning streak.
Facepalm.
Saturday Lacktion Report: More 8-bit lacktion from Chris:
Crabs-Nyets: While Darnell "Lacktion" Jackson went to the poorhouse by turning a 1.1 trillion into nothing with a board, Jawad Williams heaved a brick for a +1 suck differential in the same 1:08!!
Bobcats-Heat: Stephen Graham cracked The Lost Levels by throwing one piece of masonry at his Game Genie cartridge for a 51 second Mario and a +1!
Spurs-Bullets: Malik Hairston used the NES Light Gun to fire off a 26 second Mario, while Washington's Dominic McGuire ran into a Piranha Plant and fouled once in a dueling 55 second Mario of his own that earned a +1 too. Fellow projectile DeShawn Stevenson however settled for an Association-leading 6.9 trillion (6:54) payday!!!!!
Raptors-Celtics: Rasho Nesterovic fouled once in 1:56 for a +1 and a 1:0 Madsen-level Voskuhl, while fellow dinosaur Antoine Wright penciled in two fouls and a giveaway for a +3 in 4:38. Brian Scalabrine continues to rack up the Voskuhls with a 2:0 in 14:42 after negating two assists with fouls and two bricks - his fourth Voskuhl since December 27th!!!
Rockets-Hornets: Darren Collison crashed into the ledger tonight with a wreck of a scoreline: two fouls and three bricks for +5 in 9:50!
Thunder-Bucks: Milwaukee's Jodie Meeks tiptoed his way Goomba-style into a brick for a 10 second Mario and a +1!
Grizzlies-Suns: Hamed Haddadi took a rejection and dropped a bit of masonry in 2:42 for a +2.
Nuggets-Jazz: Kyrylo Fesenko hummed Korobeniki in just 15 seconds for a Mario!
Mavs-Kings: Kris Humphries lost the rock once to give Dallas a +1 in 2:27. In addition to being the 121st suck differentialist so far this season, Humphries represents the 150th different baller in the Association to lack it up in 2009-2010!!!!!!!
Warriors-Blazers: Shavlik Randolph missed one field goal attempt for the Frail Blazers in 1:46 to end up with a +1.
The Cleveland Cavaliers: Just when the Crabs were starting to look unstoppable -- what with 11 straight wins at home and seven consecutive victories overall -- they lose at home to...the Charlotte Bobcats? Yes, the same Bobcats who started the season 1-14 on the road (second worst in the NBA to the Nets) before winning back-to-back road games on back-to-back days. Dogs and cats living together, right? If you want to find a culprit, look no further than the Crabs' bench, who as a group scored only 12 points on a 4-for-23 shooting.
The Dallas Mavericks: Just when it was starting to look like the Lakers' Walton's foot was good teams, they beat the ever loving shit out of the Dallas Mavericks. I mean, L.A. beat the Mavs so badly I think it took seven years off Dirk Nowitzki's life. The Lakers set season highs in points scored (131), field goal percentage (63), three-point percentage (81) and margin of victory (35). What's more, it was the biggest margin of victory in the series between the two teams, surpassing the Lakers' 33-point win on December 1, 1993. Of course, the 1993-94 Mavs won a league-worst 13 games...whereas the 2009-10 Mavs fancy themselves championship contenders.
Said Nowitzki: "Some nights you don't have it offensively, but you at least have to get some stops to stay in the game. They had whatever they wanted. Bynum was on the inside, Kobe was making shots everywhere. On offense, we just couldn't do anything right." Yep. About the only positive the Mavs could take away from this was is that they didn't slip on a banana peel and fall face first into a cream pie.
The Indiana Pacers: Just when you thought maybe T.J. Ford had been the problem all along, the Pacers fell to the Bricks in near-record-setting fashion, losing by 43 points. According to ESPN Stats and Information, the last time the Knicks won by 43 points or more was April 15, 1996 against the Raptors, which was the Raptors first year as a franchise. New York led by 48 with 3:15 remaining, which (according to STATS LLC) was the largest lead in the NBA this season, surpassing the 45-point bulge Golden State had over Minnesota on November 9.
Al Harrington had a one-word description of this game: "Domination." He wasn't wrong.
The San Antonio Spurs: Just when it was starting to look like the Spurs were getting their swerve back, they drop a 91-86 decision to the Craptors in Toronto. Although the location was sort of meaningless. I would expect the Spurs to beat the Craptors if they played on Uranus. (I said "Your Anus." Heh.)
What made this particular loss especially bizarre was the presence of Tim Duncan...sixth man?! From the AP recap:
Duncan, San Antonio's leading scorer, came off the bench for just the second time in his career and the first time since 2004. He scored 23 points in 36 minutes in Saturday's win at Washington.Regarding Pop's "not too much happens in the first quarter of NBA games" theory, Toronto outscored his team 27-19 and went on to win by six points. The way things started maybe might have kinda-sorta made a difference in the end result.
"He's played a lot of minutes," coach Gregg Popovich said. "He played more than we wanted last night so we just wanted to have him in the fourth quarter rather than the first. Not too much happens in the first quarter of NBA games."
Duncan acknowledged not starting was "tough to swallow," but didn't argue with the plan, even though he shot just 8 for 22.
"Pop asked me about it and it sounded like a decent idea, just to make sure I had my legs down the stretch," Duncan said. "It worked, I felt good in the fourth quarter, I just couldn't get anything to go in the hole."
The Denver Nuggets: Just when it looked like...okay, the Nuggets haven't looked good for a while. In fact, they've lost six of their last eight games after starting 19-7. Yes, Mr. Big Shot and 'Melo missed were both out, but home losses to bad teams don't get stricken from the record just because you're missing your two best players.
Eddie Jordan, quote machine: Regarding his team's win in Denver, the Sixers coach said: "My heart is still beating like a rabbit running across a field. We are just beginning to go uptown. You never know what this can take us. We hope it gets us going."
Sunday Lacktion Report: Sunday lacked in lacktion, but what it did not lack, Chris did not lack for in reporting. Wait, did that make any sense?
Spurs-Raptors: Theo Ratliff made one assist as starting big man in 8:28 for San Antonio (a night in which Duncan DID NOT start as "not a center" for only the SECOND time ever), but could not avoid a Voskuhl of 2:0 after expiring from complete productivity with a brick, rejection, giveaway and foul!
Labels: Gilbert Arenas, Indiana Pacers, Kobe Bryant, Worst of the Weekend
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