tickle attack
They're tickling his chin. No, I'm not kidding.

Gilbert Arenas and That Other Guy: Banned for the rest of the season. Now let the debates begin! Some people think the ban is too tough, others not tough enough. Which is fine, 'cause everybody is entitled to their opinion and all that. But can we please put to rest the argument that, "Well, if I took handguns to my job...." Newsflash! The NBA is not the "real world." Never has been, never will be. For instance, if you get sick and missed several months of work, you job doesn't have to keep paying you your full salary. People don't pay hundreds and even thousands of dollars a year to come and watch you crunch numbers, or pick up garbage, or develop software, or whatever it is that you do for a living. Nobody is wearing a "Matt McHale: Technical Writer" jersey. We need to stop expecting the NBA to operate like normal rules apply. They don't.

The Los Angeles Clippers: Okay, you know it's coming, so let's go ahead and get it out of the way early, shall we? They are who we thought they were. Can human language possibly describe the sheer amount of fail involved in losing 103-87 to one of the worst teams in NBA history? Is it even possible?

Said Baron Davis (6 points, 2-for-10): "Words can't even describe this."

I guess not, then.

To make this kick in the balls even more kick-in-the-balls-y, The Other L.A. Team let the Nyets shoot better than 53 percent from the field despite the fact that New Jersey was without their starting backcourt of Devin Harris (sprained wrist) and Courtney Lee (oral surgery).

Meanwhile, the Nyets made anti-history by avoiding the worst 44-game start in league history and snapping a 29-game losing streak to Western Conference teams. Heading into their matchup with the Clips, New Jersey was tied with the 1993-94 Dallas Mavericks for the NBA's worst record after 43 games...one more loss would have made them history's worst team after 44 games.

Fortunately, they were playing the Clippers.

Quick quiz: Is this loss by the Clippes better or worse than the worst office freakout of all time? Discuss.


Brook Lopez, quote machine: After the Nyets won for the first time this decade, the crowd (all 29 of them) went crazy, the public address announcer started screaming, "NETS WIN! NETS WIN!", and the arena started playing "Celebration" over the loudspeakers. Just imagine how much those people would be freaking out if the Nyets had won five games this season. Said Brook Lopez: "Did we need this? Are you kidding me? I mean we were 3-40. That's not a tough question to answer."

Kris Humphries: Congrats to Kris, who apparently had a career-high 1 assist last night. Thanks to Basketbawful reader Dmitry for the screen capture:

1 assist

The Philadelphia 76ers: Despite a spectacular 3-for-10, 4-turnover performance from All-Star Allen Iverson, the Sixers lost 91-88 to the Milwaukee Bucks, who were outrebounded 51-35 and went 2 of 8 from the free throw line in the final six minutes. It helped that Philly missed three shots that could have tied the game in the last 11 seconds.

The first two shots were bonked by Elton "The 80 Million Dollar Man" Brand, who scored a season-high 26 points and absolutely could not miss...until it really mattered. Said Brand: "I missed the chippie. So, I'm thinking, 'OK. I got it back.' Could have gotten a better shot, but the shot clock and everything, I thought I could just knock it down. I was making everything. So, I was pretty confident in that [second] shot."

Overconfidence can be a downfall.

Anyway, after Luke Ridnour hit shanked a free throw that would have put the Bucks up by four points with 2.2 seconds left, Andre "The Other A.I. and The Other 80 Million Dollar Man" Iguodala bricked a long three-point attempt at the buzzer. Game over...and another near miss by the Sixers.

Said Charlie Bell: ""Hopefully the basketball gods even it out and toward the end of the year we'll start getting some more to go our way."

Uh, yeah. Good luck with that, Charlie.

The Shorthanded Pistons: Another night, another home loss for the Shorthanded Pistons, who are without...you know what? It doesn't matter. This team is terrible. Joe Dumas and his plan to dismantle the team so he could vastly overpay for Ben Gordon and Charlie Villanueva has been sucking big, sweaty gorilla balls. And yet, despite that, the Pistons were right there and could have beaten a pretty good Grizzlies team...except that Marc Gasol scored the game's final 8 points over the final three minutes as Memphis pulled out a 99-93 win the the Land of Short Hands.

According to the AP recap, Chucky V. was still sitting at his locker in full uniform with a towel over his head 20 minutes after the game ended. Meanwhile, Tayshaun Prince refused to talk to the press. And really, what was there to say? Other than this...

John Kuester, quote machine: After his team blew a 2-point lead in the final minutes, Kuester said: "We played almost 48 minutes tonight, so I'm pleased." The coach being pleased because his team "played almost 48 minutes" just shows how far this team has fallen.

The Indiana Pacers: Some people gave the Pacers a chance in this game because the Lakers have been iffy on the road this season. But those "some people" must not watch the Pacers, because they're pretty bawful...as the final score of 118-96 indicates. Andy Bynum and The Spanish Marshmallow combined for 48 points and 25 rebounds as L.A. outrebounded Indy 62-42 and outscored them 54-32 in the paint. I guess that sort of explains the turncoat behavior of...

Indiana fans: One common theme around the NBA in recent years has been the home crowd of bad teams chanting "M-V-P!" when an opposing superstar lights up their squad. And that's what happened in Indy last night as Mamba scored a game-high 29 points on 10-for-15 shooting. Remember the good old days when home court was actually an advantage? That never would have happened pre-Conseco Field House.

Jim O'Brien: It's fair to say the Pacers coach made a, ahem, tactical blunder by starting Danny Granger at power forward against Gasol and Troy "The American Marshmallow" Murphy at center against Bynum. And nobody was more shocked -- or pleased -- than Phil Jackson: "I don't know whether Jim was baiting us or not, but he started Murphy on him [Bynum]. Drew is a plus-7-footer with probably 30 pounds, 40 pounds on him at least. It's almost an impossible feat for them to cover Drew."

Murphy didn't sound real pleased about being the sacrificial lamb: "We went with a small lineup against a big front line. It's tough. You're going to give up things inside, and that's what happened."

Oh well. Winning's for losers.

The Minnesota Timberwolves: It was probably too much to hope for both of the league's worst teams to pull out wins on the same night, and the Crabs made sure that didn't happen. By a lot. The Timberpoops actually stunned the world by competing for a full 12 minutes before Cleveland put the clamps on in the second quarter. By games end, Minny had shot 38 percent from the field, given up a career-high 23 points on 8-for-10 shooting to J.J. Hickson, watched LeBron dance a jig with one of the arena's ushers, and of course lost 109-95.

triangle
"I hate to tell you this, but the Triangle? It's not working.

LeBron James, ego machine: Although he didn't talk in third person last night -- as far as I know -- he did have this to say about Hickson's big game: "One thing I try to do is just stay in his ear, positively. I'm going to continue to let him know how easy it can be for him if he just does what I tell him to do. Seriously, man."

Shaq, quote machine: King Crab wasn't the only person who's been giving Hickson advice. Said Shaq: "I told J.J. when I first got here, 'J.J., you could be Cedrick Ceballos. Of course, he doesn't know who that was. I played with Cedric Ceballos, who never got any plays called for him, but he averaged 20 points and 10 rebounds. I think J.J. can do the same thing."

The Golden State Warriors: News flash: The Warrors gave up 123 points in another double-digit loss!

Kevin Durant: He finished with a game-high 28 points and 11 boards in the Thunder's home loss to the Chicago Bulls, which might make you think he played well. He did not. Facing some tenacious defense from Luol Deng, the league's third-leading scorer suffered through a stretch in which he went ice cold during a stretch when his team missed 16 straight shots and the Bulls slowly built up a double-digit lead. Durant went on to score 12 of his points during the fourth quarter, by which time the game had already slipped away.

The Atlanta Hawks: Heading into last night's game against the Spurs, the Dirty Birds were facing off against history...having not won in San Antonio since 1997. That's a really long time. And the streak remained intact after the 105-90 ass-blasting they received from a Spurs squad that has been struggling and even lost Tony Parker to a sprained left ankle in the third quarter.

The Spurs are back, baby!! Okay, not really. However, they did score a season-high 66 points in the first half while holding Atlanta to 39 percent shooting.

Said Josh Smith: "I guess we weren't ready to play."

The Portland Frail Blazers: No Brandon Roy, no chance of beating the Jazz...who shot 60 percent from the field, won by double-digits despite missing 11 free throws, and have very quietly moved up to the fourth spot in the Western Conference.

Craig Bolerjack, unintentionally dirty quote machine: Basketbawful reader Hajt submitted this beauty from Utah's announcer: "Each night Jerry Sloan looks for a hot guy and rides him to the barn." Thanks to the readers who commented and wrote in to identify him.

Lacktion report: Chris proves once again that for every action there is an equal and opposite...lacktion:

Wolves-Crabs: WOW - brothers in lacktion for the crustaceans! In a rather obvious stint of celebration, Darnell "Lacktion" Jackson and Cedric "Lacktion II: Electric Boogaloo" Jackson (who are probably not related) rescued Princess Peach together as Mario Brothers of 15 and 10 seconds respectively!!!!!!

Lakers-Pacers: Adam Morrison ate a two-brick sandwich (once from the Gateway station) for a +2 suck differential in 3:19.

Heat-Raptors: Joel Anthony negated a trio of boards in 12:23 with two fouls, two turnovers and a brick to earn a 4:3 Voskuhl.

Grizzlies-Pistons: Hasheem Thabeet is making his case to be Darko Milicic-lite for Memphis, as in 4:58, he fouled twice and lost the rock once for a +3 that doubles as a 3:0 Voskuhl. Conversely, Lester Hudson may be proving to be the missing piece of the puzzle in the Grizzlies' transformation into a potential playoff team - his status as the team's Jud Buechler-like lucky charm continues after a two-second dose of lacktion prescribed by Dr. Mario, specifically that of the Super Mario variety!!!!!

For Detroit, Chris Wilcox had a routine 3:2 Voskuhl via three fouls and two bricks against two boards in 13:45. And in non-lacktive statistical news, 14 points and 9 boards gave Ben Wallace a Calvin Murphy!

Clippers-Nyets: Marcus Camby, as a starting big man, countered two boards and an assist in 6:55 with two fouls, two giveaways, AND no shot attempts for a bawful 4:2 Voskuhl! Meanwhile, in a shocker, the Nyets were given reason to party it up with Snooki and Sammi Sweetheart tonight (by ruining their perfect decade!) and had Josh Boone take a trip to the farm of lacktivity via a single-giveaway +1 in 1:21 that also earned a 1:0 Madsen-level Voskuhl!!!

Bulls-Thunder: James Johnson tossed a singular brick from...uh...Bricktown...and added a foul and giveaway to the total for a +3 in 5:09.

Hawks-Spurs: Randolph Morris can now buy all the pallets of Nine Lives he wants, after taking down a fortune of 2.05 trillion (2:04)!!!! For San Antonio, Ian Mahinmi fouled once and missed twice from the free throw line for a +3 in 1:54, also in the ledger as a 1:0 Madsen-level Voskuhl!

In non-lacktion, Josh Smith AND Tim Duncan each scored Dantleys, Duncan going perfect on 11 attempts at the line!

Jazz-Frail Blazers: Jeff Pendegraph drew a board in 6:17, but fouled thricely for a 3:1 Voskuhl.

Hornets-Warriors: Sean Marks continues his current run of non-contribution by cashing out for a second straight game with 3.1 trillion (3:07)!

Labels: , , , , , , ,

56 Comments:
Blogger Austen said...
I think that Jazz quote was spoken by Jazz commentator Craig Bolerjack, who has a fondness for folksy statements like that.

Anonymous Jenna said...
It was Craig Bolerjack!!! Ha ha ha love it!

Blogger Dan B. said...
Considering the office freakout was apparently staged, this Clippers loss is worse.

Blogger stephanie g said...
Gorillas actually have very small testicles for their body size. This is because gorilla's sexual strategy is based around harems, meaning there's little to no sperm competition. In promiscuous species with a lot of sperm competition males have proportionally very large testicles. Like chimps or rats. Humans are more in the middle of the spectrum, which means we're neither monogamous or (exceptionally) promiscuous.

Oh yeah, basketball. I was sad to see the Indy crowd cheer the Lakers so much. I've never really seen that before in their other games -- what was up with that? And you're not supposed to cheer for a team that eliminated you in the finals. :(

Everytime Troy plays center god kills a kitten.

Blogger Dan B. said...
stephanie g -- Wow. You sure know a lot about male genetalia. So, uh, what are you doing tonight?

Everytime Troy plays center god kills a kitten.

Why can't he just cut out the middle man and get rid of Troy Murphy and be done with it?

Blogger Adam said...
Dr. House: Did you know that relative to its size, the barnacle has the largest penis of any animal?

Blogger chris said...
I think we need a pickup game of readers wearing "Matt McHale: Technical Writer" tees. Now.

Anonymous Matt said...
And yet, "hung like a barnacle" hasn't caught on.

Blogger chris said...
BTW, Kurt Rambis without the glasses feels so...so...um...clothesline'd.

Blogger chris said...
In a bawesome sign of lack of content, ESPN2 writes yet again about the "haunted" hotel in Oklahoma City. Which apparently the Bulls easily overcame!

Anonymous Joe said...
Craig Bolerjack is famous for less than intelligent statements. I just call them "Bolerisms".

He (and Ron Boone, the color commentator) are supposed to determine a Subway® Sub of the Game to determine the single best bench player. In a game earlier this year he gave it to two players who started. He's that kind of winner. . . which is to say the kind that doesn't ever win.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Can we please get some "Matt McHale: Technical Writer" t-shirts printed immediately.

Anonymous NarSARSsist said...
Hilariously, the Nyets still have yet to hit double digit win percentages at any point during the season.

Speaking of the Spurs being back and the Jazz quietly creeping to #4 in the West, should we handle the trophy of the Bipolar Significant Other of the West to the Spurs? They beat the Mavericks without Parker or Duncan, but then go and lose when they have one or both. They can beat the Hornets on the road, but not the Bobcats or Grizzlies. They hold serve at home so well, even beating the Lakers, and then go on a 3 game lose streak in the AT&T Center.

Fun fact: Among the Western contenders, the Jazz, the Spurs, and the Thunder are the only teams not above .500 against the West. They are 13-13, 13-13, and 9-15 respectively. Thank goodness for the East, because they are 14-5, 13-5, and 15-6 against the other conference.

Blogger Hillsolo said...
Hey bawful, no word on Kobe while he was egoistically directing how to guard the inbound pass, Granger just bounced the ball right off his butt and went in for a layup. Kobe had no idea but to foul him, then tried to cover up his embarrassment by pretending he got hit in the face. Yeah, he better hide his face under his shirt for the rest of the game.

Anonymous NarSARSsist said...
Chris - At some point, shouldn't there be a lacktion category for the type of performance Bibby put up last night? In 27 minutes, he managed 0/7 from the field, 0/3 from 3PT, no free throws, and a foul. He gets saved from a suck differential by a token rebound and assist. I mean, shouldn't any point guard who has the ball at least once every possession stumble into an assist and a loose rebound? We have Voskuhls, what's the guard equivalent of suckitutde of that magnitude? I'd like to hear your thoughts on that.

WV: iNesi: The next great Apple product that inexplicably does nothing new yet becomes revolutionary.

Blogger chris said...
NarSARSist: We really need to highlight general shooting non-performances like that, anything 0 for whatever after at least x shots.

Or maybe just something about the sheer volume of masonry, so that Corey Maggette gets some love for his 23-brick showing against Sacramento!

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
I am wondering how the concept of gorilla harems was not first introduced to me from someone in Japan on the Internet...

WV: exesessa. I have seen an exesessa of Greg Oden genitalia in the past day.

Blogger robin said...
btw humps career high was in points

Blogger chris said...
Sigh.

The Bulls are at 500, meaning...

in comparison, the Kings, who were a game or two out of 500 after The Comeback, have since fallen to bawfulness only matched by the clotheslined puppies and the Nyets.

Ugh.

Anonymous The Other Chris said...
Solid post as usual, Bawful. On the topic of suckage, I'd like to discuss the on-going train wreck that is Hedo Turkoglu's season. Last night the $53 million dollar man was good for... 1-5 from the field, 5 points, 4 rebounds, and 3 assists. He also managed to turn it over twice. I would trade him straight up for Charlie Villueneva in a heartbeat. At least Charlie V serves as an inspiration to all the kids with alopecia, hairless freak that he is. Hedo is just completely useless in every capacity.

I think we need a nickname for Turkosuck that captures the level of Bawful he is achieving this season. The Turkish Ass? The Unarmed Assasin? All suggestions are welcome. Especially if they involve poo, because that's what Hedo is. A big pile of it.

Elton Brand, Ben Gordon, and Charlie Villeuneva are terrible, but no free-agent signing has tanked worse than Hedo. I shudder with fear every time he touches the ball, or every time I am forced to watch his lifeless corpse play matador defence.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
Hey bawful, no word on Kobe while he was egoistically directing how to guard the inbound pass, Granger just bounced the ball right off his butt and went in for a layup. Kobe had no idea but to foul him, then tried to cover up his embarrassment by pretending he got hit in the face. Yeah, he better hide his face under his shirt for the rest of the game.

Please tell me there's video of this somewhere...

btw humps career high was in points

Yeah, I know, it just looked funny in that screen cap...guess I didn't make that clear...

By the way, Dan B., in response to a comment you left in yesterday's BAD post, I too was sad New Jersey won.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
in comparison, the Kings, who were a game or two out of 500 after The Comeback, have since fallen to bawfulness only matched by the clotheslined puppies and the Nyets.

In a way, that game turned around the fortunes of both teams...

Blogger Hillsolo said...
"Please tell me there's video of this somewhere..."
From Nba.com game recap: http://www.nba.com/games/20100127/LALIND/gameinfo.html?ls=gt2hp0020900664

Blogger chris said...
Bawful: And yet, I refuse to ever consider Vinnie Smallz a better coach than Westphal.

If I could trade The Comeback for a chance at playoff appearance, I would. Every day. Grr.

I know this is supposed to be a rebuilding season and all for the paupers, but that feeling of optimism and hope in the first half of the season was great. I guess it wasn't reality.

But the team HAS to play better to really make the public convinced that a new arena is worth pursuing though. Maybe that's unfair for those guys in the uniforms to be thinking about in any way. At the end of the day I'd rather have a team that can't win games though, than be Seattle.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
And yet, I refuse to ever consider Vinnie Smallz a better coach than Westphal.

Well...I'm not saying you have to say that, but then again, people aren't really appreciating the job Vinny has done in Chicago. Think about it. The Bulls eked into the playoffs last season based on all offense and mediocre (at best) defense...based on their personnel. Out goes the leading scorer and suddely Chicago can't put the ball in the bucket. Now they're a top 10 defensive team. That's a pretty major transition to make.

Plus, Vinny's made some crucial adjustments: benching Salmons, starting Hinrich at SG so the Bulls have a second playmaker in the lineup, unleashing Kirk on the other team's best backcourt player so Derrick Rose can unleash on offense without having to worry about defense (shouldn't the Suns be doing that with Nash?).

Should Vinny be allowed to coach the Bulls next season. Maybe not. But he's gotten better. No, really.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
By the way, a week or so ago, I showed how much Derrick Rose has improved by posting his monthly splits on my TrueHoop Network Bulls blog. It didn't get a mention on TH. Then, today, John Hollinger posts Derrick's splits on the main TH page to provide the stunning revelation of Rose's improved play.

Meh.

Anonymous kazam92 said...
http://sports.yahoo.com/nba/blog/ball_dont_lie/post/Spoiler-All-Star-reserves-revealed?urn=nba,216300

NBA all-star reserves released

I can't believe Al Horford made it over David Lee. I dont wanna hear any win loss bullshit. Horford is a tool who screams everytime he scores a freaking basket. He's like what averaging 13 and 8?

Blogger chris said...
Bawful: Which then begs the question...other than a soft schedule, what else made the Kings look better than they were up to The Comeback?

Blogger Dan B. said...
Bawful -- Hollinger can go PER himself.

Blogger chris said...
AND...

Wojnarowski at Yahoo rips David Stern and Abe Pollin apart, amongst others, for creating the enabling culture that allowed Agent Zero to think he was invincible!

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Kris Humphries Quote Machine: "You better come in here with your A-Game on."


Psst…. Psst,,,,,Kris, your team has won four games and lost 40!

A-game? Really?

Nice talking with you Kris, have a good night. I really am very happy for Kris.
RRR

Blogger In BC We Trust said...
If a Matt McHale Tech Writers jersey existed, I would buy it in a second.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
Gorillas actually have very small testicles for their body size. This is because gorilla's sexual strategy is based around harems, meaning there's little to no sperm competition. In promiscuous species with a lot of sperm competition males have proportionally very large testicles. Like chimps or rats. Humans are more in the middle of the spectrum, which means we're neither monogamous or (exceptionally) promiscuous.

And see, that's why my analogy carries so much weight...because big gorilla testicles are relatively rare in nature. Thank you for supporting me with Science.

Which then begs the question...other than a soft schedule, what else made the Kings look better than they were up to The Comeback?

Well, they caught a few teams by surprise...and they just peaked. Then reality kicked in. They don't have a ton of talent or depth. And, of course, K-Mart's injury, and his ensuing slump-y play, and then there are questions about chemistry and direction, lots of young guys...

It's just not an optimal situation.

Hollinger can go PER himself.

No kidding. I gave Henry Abbott a little bit of a hard time about it over e-mail, and he basically said basketball writers write over each other all the time. But it was still a little annoying because, in theory, Henry and Kevin Arnovitz (who helps run TH) read everything I write and should have known I did a longer, better version of what Hollinger put on the main TH page, and I did it 12 days ago. Eh, oh well.

I can't believe Al Horford made it over David Lee. I dont wanna hear any win loss bullshit. Horford is a tool who screams everytime he scores a freaking basket. He's like what averaging 13 and 8?

Chalk it up to the protective umbrella of a winning team. I, personally, wouldn't take Horford over Lee on an All-Star team or any other team, but what do I know?

Wojnarowski at Yahoo rips David Stern and Abe Pollin apart, amongst others, for creating the enabling culture that allowed Agent Zero to think he was invincible!

Ah, yes...it's time to spew outrage for the sake of it. Why stop with Stern and Pollin, though, Woj? Why not blame the fans who continue to support the selfish, the angry, the criminal as long as those people continue to entertain them? Or, heck, why not blame American culture, which has taught the rich and famous time and again that their stature and wealth mean they don't have to live their lives by the same rules that govern the common person?

Woj's outrage presumes a world where all events are fair and reasonable. That simply isn't the case. Chaos? That's fair. Chance? That's fair. Human civilization built around arbitrary rules that are abandoned whenever the need arises? Not even remotely fair.

Stern and Pollin are not trying to build a better world where all guns and evil people are magically transformed into delicious candy. They're business owners (in Pollin's case, a dead one). For good or ill, they are making business decisions. And as we all know, business decisions aren't always the best or most moral decisions.

Blogger Ash B said...
Horford? Hell, Josh Smith has been better than Horford, and he's on the same damn team.

Blogger Wild Yams said...
Opposing crowds have been chanting "MVP" for Kobe for years now. They've done it in Boston, Utah and Sacramento, so it's not too surprising that they would do it in Indiana. The only place left that would really surprise me is if they did it in Portland.

I wanted to address that Shaq quote: "I played with Cedric Ceballos, who never got any plays called for him, but he averaged 20 points and 10 rebounds." To me this seems like a rather weird statement to make since Shaq and Club Ced played together for exactly 8 games in their careers. Unless I'm mistaken, the only time their careers intersected was right after Shaq signed with the Lakers in 1996, he and Ced started off the season together, but Ceballos was traded to Phoenix for Robert Horry only 8 games into the season after Horry threw a towel in the face of then-Suns coach Danny Ainge. For the record, during those 8 games with Shaq, Ced averaged only 10.8 ppg and 6.6 rpg, not 20 & 10.

tl;dr - Shaq's talking out his ass again (shocking, I know).

Blogger Wild Yams said...
PS - Expect Chris Kaman to be pissed he was left off the All Star roster in favor of Pau Gasol.

Blogger Marmatard said...
Lebron becomes more and more unlikeable everyday.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
Shaq's talking out his ass again (shocking, I know).

Shaq saw this comment and said you can't criticize him until you, personally, have led more teams to championships than he has. Sorry, Yams. You're five titles away from being relevant to Shaq's worldview.

Expect Chris Kaman to be pissed he was left off the All Star roster in favor of Pau Gasol.

Kamam shouldn't blame Gasol, or even the coaches. David Stern has a secret but strict "No Clippers in the All-Star game" rule.

Blogger chris said...
Anonymous: Well, I guess a career high of one assist IS Mr. Humphries's A-game.

Bawful: So should the Kings tank the rest of the season to get a better draft pick? Or can they at least get something out of competing for the rest of the year?

(Not that it matters, the frozen envelopes go to the bigger markets.)

As for your (apt) observation that the business reality of the Association trumps that of the moral reality...well...the fact that Clay Bennett, George Shinn, and others of that vein have thrived in this environment speaks for itself.

Yams: If ONLY this were the 80s and the Internet existed, so that Bill Walton could have been voted into the 1984 ASG as a Clipper!!!!!!

Blogger chris said...
BTW, that's what, three requests now for a "Matt McHale: Tech Writer" jersey!?

I think we need replica Bird shorts to go with them though.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
So should the Kings tank the rest of the season to get a better draft pick? Or can they at least get something out of competing for the rest of the year?

Tanking isn't a guaranteed thing, but building a culture in which young players learn to win will almost certainly benefit the organization. Plus, tanking gives you herpes.

Blogger chris said...
Bawful: Or, it can give you King Crab, or set you up to get Garnett and Ray Allen.

:sob:

What makes it hard for me to say is this:

The Kings HAVE to be competitive to justify fan interest (and hey, if they can be good at home and go 1-40 on the road, fans still showed up then), but it's not like they've won anything in 59 years, either, with the status quo of mid-market fatalism...unless it's the Mythical 2002 NBA Finals If The Stern Button Didn't Exist.

(can someone please make that trophy!? please?!?!?)

Blogger Basketbawful said...
Or, it can give you King Crab, or set you up to get Garnett and Ray Allen.

Okay, let's be honest. The Celtics attempt to tank failed. It's just that Danny Ainge took advantage of Seattle's desire to dump Ray-Ray and of McHale's desire to do an extreme makeover in Minnesota. Ainge got lucky...but his taking scheme to get Oden or Durant failed.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Hold up, I have never heard Boston chant MVP for Kobe, ever, even when they stunk before KG. If that's true, though, total blasphemy on their part.

Blogger chris said...
Bawful: So in a not-so-strange way, the Celtics specifically benefitted from Clay Bennett's greed (and desire to drain Seattle like a turnip).

Blogger Wild Yams said...
Anonymous - "Hold up, I have never heard Boston chant MVP for Kobe, ever, even when they stunk before KG. If that's true, though, total blasphemy on their part."

Here you go: the "Boston faithful" were chanting "MVP" and "Kobe" over and over almost three years ago to the day. Hell, Pierce, Rondo and Perkins could have told you that, they were all on that team, and Doc Rivers was coaching them. Face it, Mike Bibby was right when he said the Boston fans were a bunch of bandwagon jumping frontrunners.

Hey, did anyone else see this article which shows that LeBron apparently is called for fouls at such an infrequent rate that it's almost surely because the refs are protecting him? It compares the fouls per minute and per game rate for LeBron versus what Jordan, Kobe and Magic all had and also against every other player in the league in the last few years, and LeBron is way, way below all of them. It points out that in the last two years LeBron has basically never been in foul trouble, considering he's never had more than 4 fouls in any game, and in all that time he's only had even 4 fouls in a game a measly 12 times. Definitely worth reading and it definitely makes you wonder.

Anonymous kazam92 said...
So is it agreed that Horford goes in the Worst All Stars of All Time list? I'm talking the Jamaal Magloire James Donaldson category that we discussed about a few days back


I think he had a whopping 4 pts on 2-10 shooting last night to seal the deal

Blogger MattX said...
Here you go: the "Boston faithful" were chanting "MVP" and "Kobe" over and over almost three years ago to the day. Hell, Pierce, Rondo and Perkins could have told you that, they were all on that team, and Doc Rivers was coaching them. Face it, Mike Bibby was right when he said the Boston fans were a bunch of bandwagon jumping frontrunners.

Didn't someone report on here that because the Celtics were in the middle of a "suckfest" (no Pierce, crappy record, Gerald Green starting) that a lot of Lakers fans were able to snare tickets closer to the court and they were the ones chanting for "Kobe 4 MVP". I suppose you can still blame the Celtics fans for a lack of heart in selling their tickets to the Lakers fans, rather than supporting their team through think and thin.

Blogger Wild Yams said...
MattX - "I suppose you can still blame the Celtics fans for a lack of heart in selling their tickets to the Lakers fans, rather than supporting their team through think and thin."

Yeah, that's pretty much a textbook definition of being a bandwagon/fair weather/frontrunning fan. That's why Mike Bibby was 100% right when he said that's exactly what Celtic fans are.

Anonymous DKH said...
Yams,

So far as I can tell, if you strip away the author's preconceptions, all that article says is that LeBron fouls at a rate so far below the league average that he is an outlier. Wow, I bet he's an outlier in terms of his combination of points, rebounds, and assists, too. Score one for advanced stats.

The author doesn't actually test his potential explanations for LeBron's low foul rate; he just assumes ref favoritism. The stats can't say whether this is what happens. Beyond that, the author includes qualifier statements that are somewhat silly: "James often guards big men inside." This is just wrong; for the first three quarters of any given game, he is generally guarding the opponent's small forward, or at least a lower-skilled perimeter player (remember all those times Cleveland played West on Turkoglu in the Orlando series last year?). A lower foul rate might be expected, due to the current rules interpretations and a proliferation of quick guards, because he doesn't play against ball handlers early in the game.

The author's explanation (ref favoritism) might be correct, but he's gotta do a lot more work than he did before that can be accepted as true.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
Yeah, that's pretty much a textbook definition of being a bandwagon/fair weather/frontrunning fan. That's why Mike Bibby was 100% right when he said that's exactly what Celtic fans are.

Well, we already know how fast Lakers fans turn on their team when things aren't going well. They're pretty much as bitchy and whiney as their best player...in case you forgot all the booing and moaning that went on during their three-year absence from relevence a few years back. Although I'm only talking about the ones that actually make noise during the game, since many of the "fans" are posing wanna-bes who are there to be there as opposed to being their to support their fans.

Celtics fans went through a good 20 years of misfortune, mismanagement and bad basketball. Frankly, I don't blame them for turning their back temporarily on an organization that openly tanked multiple seasons, gave them two different looks at Antoine Walker, gave the keys to the city to Rick fucking Pitino while spitting in the eye of Red Auerbach, and a million other things I could mention. Trust me, Yams, if you really think Lakers fans, or any fans, are loyal enough to put up with all that crap, you're as zany as Nicholson.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Dirty quote ahoy from Phil Jackson:

"Our middle is really soft. We're giving up a lot of penetration. If we give up that much penetration, we're going to get hurt both inside and outside."

...maybe it is just me...

Blogger chris said...
Bawful: I think the most insanely loyal fans in the Association, now and forever, must be the people who have been watching the Clippers in Southern California since 1978.

I mean, REALLY?

Other than the Walton years, when HASN'T mismanagement and apathy been the status quo for the former Buffalo Braves franchise?!

Blogger Basketbawful said...
Other than the Walton years, when HASN'T mismanagement and apathy been the status quo for the former Buffalo Braves franchise?!

I think there was a five-minute period when Donald Sterling actually cared...like around 2006...and Elgin Baylor did trade for Elton Brand when Brand was a legit 20/10 guy. So there have been flashes. And by flashes I mean flukes.

Blogger Preveen said...
I suppose another way to look at it would be that LeBron wouldn't be in the middle of the defensive action in order that he stay fresh for offense. Wouldn't really be guarding the focal point of the offense most of the time. I'm assuming. Sucks that I don't get to see much ball. The first live match I watched this year was Magic-Celtics this morning (my time)

Anonymous bizarro said...
http://clipperblog.com/2010/01/27/new-jersey-103-clippers-87/

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