20100120-dick-vitaleNo, it is not awesome, baby. Go to hell, Dick Vitale.

They said it couldn’t be done and the fans of the Boston Celtics proved them wrong. When online voting stated for the NBA All-Star Game, Toucher & Rich from 98.5 The Sports Hub, made a deal with Celtics center and token white boy, Brian Scalabrine, that if he received 250K votes – he would get a spray tan.

Toucher and Rich announced this morning that they finally got in touch with NBA, the King of the NBA actually, to see how many votes he did received. They were pleased to announced, that Brian Scalabrine received 250, 008 votes and February 25th, he’ll be debuting his new spray tan. For those of you who want to program their DVR’s and record the game, it’s on TNT @ 8pm and the Celtics will be taking on Lebron, Shaq and the rest of the Cleveland Cavaliers. I wonder if anyone will watch it?
Excuse me while I go mark my calendar.
Okay, I'm back. It's TNT night on Bawful After Dark. Both LA teams are in action tonight in our only two NBA games of the night. It'd be fun to see a list of what "celebrities" show up at each game. I'd take my guesses at who attends the Clippers game, but I don't want you to get in trouble with your boss/wife/girlfriend for Googling the names and seeing naked pictures everywhere. Hey, I'm just trying to look out for my fellow guys. We cool? Yeah, we cool.

(Wait a second, Kim Kardashian has shown up at Lakers games before? And she's not even technically a porn star? Damn. That just killed my last joke. Nevermind.)

Worst of the Night in Pictures:

Man love


Awkward man love


"You're doing it wrong" man love


Andrei Kirilenko is one ugly dude. That is all.


Sit on my face and tell me that you love me
I'll sit on your face and tell you I love you too


Stan Van Gundy professes his love for Subway's $5 footlongs
(No, really, he wants five of them)




The last person I saw use this expression was the "two weeks" woman in Total Recall

Nationally Televised Games:
Lakers at Crabs: Kobe versus LeBron in prime time on the East coast? In a possible revenge game after the Christmas Day beatdown full of flying foam fingers? David Stern's already throwing out old business cards and stuff to make room in his wallet, 'cause this game is money.

Clippers at Nuggets: LA's Other Team on national TV? David Stern is cleaning out his toilet to make room, 'cause this game is shit. (Actually, serious revenge game possibilities here as well: the Nuggets lost to the Clippers the last time they played, and that's certain to rile up some anger in anybody)

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Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Oh my... was that a Sealab 2021 reference? Man, now I'm missing that show.

Anyways, All-Star voting is revealed tonight, rumor has it that Nash edged McGrady fucking whew.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
I was hoping that you would have found some great examples of the Duncan face from last night's televised game. ESPN showed at least a dozen, most of them different. During one stretch of time when he was on the bench, he almost seemed to be practicing them.

Blogger Ash said...
What's with all the Devin Harris to the Lakers rumors going around?

Pretty smart to sell high on him now. If you wait until you have John Wall, you will get nothing in return for Harris because teams know you're just trying to dump him.

Anonymous kazam92 said...
I'm hearing some of the all-star debates the TNT guys are having. Barkely is seriously putting Aaron Brooks over Chris Paul. That is retarded. I dont give a flying shit that houston has exceeded expectations. They should have no all-stars. Its just a bunch of guys putting up better numbers because there are no shots for t-mac or yao

Blogger Dan B. said...
AnacondaHL -- I am totally saving that link, because I know I will need to use it in the future. And yes, I'm still sad that show died along with Captain Murphy.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
Seriously, the "two weeks" reference killed me. Dead. Like a cockroach.

Last time I was at Mardi Gras, me, BadDave, Statbuster and another buddy recovered from a hangover while watching Total Recall. We were saying "TTTTTTTTWWWWOOOOO...WWWEEEEEEKKKSS!!" the rest of...well...the year.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
By the way, although the Crabs beating the Lakers twice this season was indeed impressive, prepare for the media to make way too big a deal out of it. I seem to remember the Magic sweeping L.A. last regular season...

Anonymous BW in Cleveland said...
Mike Fratello, unintential dirty quote machine: "Pau doesn't get it up strong enough." Couldn't have been said any better. Cavs won, I'm hammered. Good night and good luck.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
What's with all the Devin Harris to the Lakers rumors going around?

The Lakers inquired about Harris. That's it. I doubt the Nets are going to give Harris away for whatever the Lakers might be offering.

Blogger Dan B. said...
Bawful -- I do what I can. And yes, that includes referencing Schwarzenegger movies whenever at all possible.

Blogger Bing said...
LA inquired about Harris?
Dear. God. Why?

Lakers have got a glut of guards already + a bunch of forwards who think they should dribble up the court/lead fast breaks (looking at you Odom & Gasol).

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Kenny to EJ: When did you take your pants off?!

Anonymous Adrià said...
D. Harris in exchange for J. Farmar, "Shasha", and some tacos would be a great trade.

Anonymous Arlen said...
Iverson is starting in the AllStar game, YAY!

Anonymous Geert said...
If Harris would go to LA, would he start over Fisher or be the best seventh man in the league? Just wondering.

Blogger Jerry Vinokurov said...
I love you for the Monty Python drop.

Also, Iverson an all-star starter? This season?! Come on...

Blogger BJ said...
Man Love + Monty Python = Win For The Day.