Happy 50th, 'Nique.

Kudos to the NBA for giving us a nice slate of TNT games today to help celebrate Martin Luther King Jr. Day! (I wonder if Stan Van Gundy is going to bitch about this like he did the Christmas Day games?)

In huge, life-altering, breaking news, Stephon Marbury has found a job! In related news, sales of Vaseline and webcams in China are up 800%. Sales of Starbury shoes remain stagnant.

Worst of the Weekend in Pictures:

Another Nyets game, another sad bench photo

Chris Bosh's Spidey Sense is tingling


Alright Street Fighter junkies, which kick is this?

Another kind of Tim Duncan face! It's the gift that keeps giving

Well, that's one way to get your money's worth from a front-row seat

Umm... what??


Nationally Televised Games:
Frail Blazers at Bullets: Washington this year is just basically a lost cause, but even more so without Agent Zero. Thanks to Gilbert Arenas, I'd say they're season... (puts on sunglasses) is shot. YEEAAAAAH

Suns at Grizzlies: Didn't we just see this game a couple days ago? And we all know how that one went.

Mavericks at Celtics: Both of these teams are in the middle of a nasty funk right now. Count on a close but sloppy game.

Magic at Lakers: When Bawful mentioned the Magic missing Hedo Turkoglu in his WOTW writeup, all I could do was nod my head in agreement.

All The Other Games:

Pistons at Knicks: Detroit lost 13 straight, and now has won 3 straight. Sometimes the NBA just doesn't make any sense. Thnkfully, there are some constants, like the Nyets sucking, to give us some sense of stability and comfort.

Thunder at Hawks: Atlanta is playing really well at the moment, and in the middle of a home stand. Hard to pick against them.

Kings at Bobcats: The Purple Paupers are not a very good basketball team. Kevin Martin does not make them better. End of discussion. (Sorry, Chris)

Bucks at Rockets: Houston has won nine straight at home against Milwaukee. Damn. I don't care if they haven't been playing their best lately -- I can't pick against that.

Spurs at Hornets: It feels like San Antonio should win this game, doesn't it? But then I have to look at a calendar and remind myself it isn't 2005 anymore and the Spurs just don't have "it" anymore. Sigh.

Nyets at Clippers: Basketbawful Game of the Night. By far.

76ers at Timberwolves: ...or maybe not by quite that far. If this game had happened earlier in the day, it'd be considered the undercard to the main Bawful Game of the Night.

Bulls at Warriors: If Gol_en State fans chant "DEFENSE! DEFENSE!" at a game, does Don Nelson laugh?


Anonymous Ak dave said...

Anonymous Anonymous said...
I'm going to say Smith is recreating Guile's razor kick. He doesn't have the boots for the M. Bison cheapshot, and his leg isn't splitting his sack in the Ken/Ryu two-hit fierce kick.

Oh god. Someone kill me.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
"Suns at Grizzlies: Didn't we just see this game a couple days ago? And we all know how that one went."

Not to mention the Suns' infamous TNT streak is still going.

Blogger Unknown said...
From the article about Stephon Marbury:
"Shanxi last season hired former NBA player Bonzi Wells, who scored as many as 50 points a game. The contract ended after less than two months when Wells went on vacation but failed to return on time."

Don't you just love these two guys?

Blogger Dan B. said...
Anonymous -- Thanks. I keep forgetting about the Suns' epic TNT losing streak. Anybody have that number handy?

Anonymous Mladen said...
Also, if I read that correctly, Starbury was hired by a guy named Wang...I guess it's a fitting name for somebody who employs dicks.

Blogger chris said...
Dan: Someone in the WOTN thread posted that it was 17 games long so far...

Blogger Wormboy said...
Re: the Tim Duncan picture.

Imagine The Lord of the Rings cast with NBA players from the last 10 years.

Now imagine Tim Duncan as Frodo, whose awesomeness is greater than that of all others', but who is quiet, unassuming, and let's face it, a little cute but also a little homely.

Now imagine Gandalf falling off the bridge of Khazad-dum with the balrog. This picture is Tim Duncan's portrayal of Frodo's response in this scene. Yes, a bit of an over-reaction given that it's just a layup.

Have fun with other characters. Sauron is obviously David Stern. The lord of the Nazgul is Kobe Bryant, whose skills are transcendent but who at heart is really just a bitch. I'm sure Matt will enjoy filling in the other 8 Nazgul.

Gollum is Allen Iverson: tiny, scrawny, schizophrenic, and eaten inside by evil.

Sam? Ginobili to Duncan's Frodo

Legolas (finesse)? Steve Nash

Gimli (strong and relentless)? LeBron

The cave troll (including man boobs)? Shaq

I'll let others do the rest. Who gets to be Aragorn?

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Looks like the Wizards... (puts on sunglasses over existing sunglasses) are feeling the heat. YEEAAAAAH

Blogger chris said...
The Purple Paupers are predictably losing ground in Midtown Charlotte right now. Figures.

I would trade The Comeback for at least 20-30 more wins a season, easily.

Blogger chris said...
K-Mart holding a blue light special on bricks right now!

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Although I am a huge fan of Zero taking center stage on the banner, I don't think Z-Bo should be left out completely, especially that bawesome pic of him flexing.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
chris: Mark your calendar, it's exactly one month until the trade deadline! (Feb 18th, 3pm EST) Maybe you can swing for the Chris Bosh trade! Of course you'll have to get in line, Chris Bosh trade rumors are sloppy seconds and worse from here on out.

Bosh to LAL for Bynum 'n stuff,
Bosh to OKC for Jeff Green 'n picks,
Bosh to WAS for Jamison and several firearms,
Bosh to walk out the door and into MIA's loving arms

Anonymous G.Zeppelli said...
Actually AK, i believe its Adon's Jaguar Tooth.

Blogger chris said...
And...the Kings achieve their 7th moral victory in 13 games.

Too bad that loss-that-isn't-as-bad-as-others, like the other six since The Comeback, doesn't count for the positive side of the standings.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Saw this unintentionally dirty quote by David Andersen talking about matching up with Andrew Bogut at bottom of Houston Chronicle article.


Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Washington: YEEAAAAAH
New York: Won despite Duhon being Duhon
Nets: Are the Nets
Chicago: Just got served by D-Leaguers
Houston: Scola 4 MVP
Phoenix: The Great Defensive Draught of 2010

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Just saw a HUGE smother chicken of Bynum on Barnes, 3rdQ. Also, Vince Carter faking an injury, Lakers blowing a lead, and another video I need to look for, that completely random dancing ballot hat man at halftime. What the hell was that awesomeness

Blogger stephanie g said...
Monta Ellis with 36 points...on 39 shots! Meanwhile, his teammate Bad Porn Maggette had 32 pts but on 14 shots. There must be a lesson in there somewhere.

Wince Carter is metastasizing.

I swear Orlando is the dumbest good team in the league. How do you watch Dwight go to town for a half and then keep chucking up 33 threes while freezing him out?

Blogger Wild Yams said...
What a great night of action on TNT. First the Suns continue their winless streak (18 straight TNT losses and counting), and continue their even longer streak of playing no defense. The Suns are edging ever closer to falling out of the playoff picture. If they're gonna trade Amar'e to try to salvage the season, they better act fast.

Next up the Celtics continued their recent trend of looking horrible without KG. Man, they absolutely fell apart there late in that third quarter. At his age with his questionable knees, KG can only make so much of a difference. I'm thinking right now Boston's problems run deeper than just missing him.

Then finally my Lakers beat the Magic with some great play from the bench of all places. Maybe LA's second unit isn't that bad after all. Stephanie G is correct though, the Magic are dumb as shit for freezing out Dwight the way that they did (though the Laker defense played a part). Nevertheless, anytime the Lakers get a big win like that with such a horrendous game from Kobe, I'll take it.

All in all a pretty good MLK Day for me :)

Blogger mdko said...
Thoughts from Timmyyyy while the picture was taken: "I dont try to defend the right way this time. Iam gonna EAT this dude instead."

Blogger Preveen said...

I don't have to say anything else, right?

Blogger Sturla said...
Stephon Marbury signs with some Chinese team...

-- Wang Xingjiang, head of the Shanxi team, called the signing of Marbury "a reward to our fans" to help a struggling team. --

As a long suffering Knicks fan I can state that it would have been less cruel and more humane to infect all those fans with herpes as an award rather than signing the Steph Infection.

Blogger Shiv said...
@ Dan B:
Aren't the CSI: Miami references a little too late to be current and a little too early to be retro-cool?

@ Wormboy:
For the LOTR reference to be complete perhaps the Spurs should be the Fellowship...

Duncan as Frodo (sure, why not)
Poppovich as Gandalf
David Robinson as Aragorn
Manu as Legolas
Bruce Bowen as Gimli
Tony Parker as Every Annoying Hobbit Ever

Blogger Dan B. said...
Shiv -- Everything progresses so fast on the Internet, I thought by now we'd already gotten to the "retro-cool" stage. I haven't seen anyone make one of those jokes in, like, a week!

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Shiv: CSI Miami has found utility replacing the rimshot for ironically bad puns, between the current "let's run this shit into the ground" and the retro "hey guys look how meta I am". But you're right, normally things get no transition between the two. For example,

My name is Kobe
This is my shoe
It does not follow,
the Los Angeles Fire Prevention Code
I got fo' rings
So suck my dick
Don't ask to shoot
it in her face (YEAAAAAHHHHH)

Blogger Wormboy said...

Tony parker is going to have to be "fool of a Took." Yes, Peregrin Took himself.

Um, except that Pippin doesn't get laid by an extraordinarily hot woman.

And kudos with Pop. He IS Gandalf.

Anonymous rodney purvis said...
Great selection of pictures!