Welcome to another night of bawfulness in the NBA! Before we have a picture-filled look at what happened last night in The Association, Dan B. made me promise to show you video proof that Jennifer Love Hewitt bedazzles her hoo-ha "precious lady":


Ahem, uh, without further adieu, here are some slightly less disturbing visuals for you:

Worst of the Night in Pictures:

"Gerald, man, seriously, can't you keep that damn thing in
your mouth? I mean, come on, it's got your slobber on it!"

Contrary to the empty seats seen in the background, this shot was

Here's a new entry to the pantheon of Duncan Faces. This particular
one is the "Sweet, Luke Walton is guarding me!" Duncan Face.

"¬°Ole!"


Nationally Televised Game:

Magic at Nuggets - If not for winning in Sactown last night, Orlando would be bringing a five game road losing streak into Denver, one of the toughest home arenas in the league. Dwight better go Superman on the Nuggets tonight or else this one could get ugly.

All the Other Games:

Wizards Generals Bullets at Hawks - Washington's coming off a loss last night and are on the second night of a back to back against one of the league's best teams. Look for a lot of this pose from Flip Saunders tonight.

Suns at Pacers - Kokomo's favorite team actually has a better record at home than Phoenix does on the road so this one could go either way.

Knicks at 76ers - Ladies and gentlemen, I give you your Basketbawful Game of the Night.

Celtics at Nyets - New Jersey should get some help tonight in their ongoing quest for the worst record of all time, what with Boston visiting and all.

Clippers at Hornets - Two teams who are threatening to show us that, after their recent good play, they in fact may not be who we thought they were. Of course, after the news that Blake Griffin is having season-ending surgery, the Clippers prove that even if they play well, they'll always be who we thought they were.

Spurs at Thunder - This one should be a doozy, but with the ancient Spurs coming off that game against the Lakers last night (and the fact that San Antonio is still under .500 on the road), I'm taking OKC in this one. Who's with me?!

Lakers at Mavericks - Odds are good that Kobe will want to prove to the world that last night was just a fluke and that back spasms and a broken finger can't stop him from taking at least 35 shots in a game. Odds are also good we'll see a lot of smirking from Mark Cuban in this one.

Timberwolves at Rockets - If last year's playoffs were any indicator, these Rockets tend to play pretty well against the triangle offense, and that's not a good thing if you're "Clothesline" Rambis.

Bucks at Frail Blazers - After being humiliated when it was revealed that he was Twitter-fighting with Fake Jordan Farmar, Brandon Jennings shut down his account. Look for him to take his vengeance out on Portland's M.A.S.H. unit tonight.

Heat at Warriors - Nellie's boys are at home and Dwyane Wade's got a sore wrist, so look for Jermaine "The Drain" O'Neal to try to step it up against Andris Biedrins and his spiky hair.

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28 Comments:
Anonymous Shane said...
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..... THE CLIPPERS HAVE CURSED ANOTHERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRr

Blogger Andrei said...
Perhaps Bill Simmons reads Bawful. He appears to have finally seen the light and admits in today's podcast that he was wrong about Iverson in his book. He claims it was the biggest mistake in the book.

Blogger chris said...
So, would Fake Jordan Farmar be an improvement over most residents of Phil Jackson's bench?

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
So, is vajazzling the new back tattoo?

Blogger Dan B. said...
"We goin' Sizzler" has to be in the running for best pic and caption combo of the season. Amazing. I just spent a solid minute laughing at that.

Andrei -- He probably does check it from time to time I'm guessing. He seems to get around the Internet pretty well, and people e-mail him links to different blogs all the time.

Anonymous Miller31 said...
Mario West is back! This season is gettin' more and more bawful!
First the AIgate, then Gilbert went crazy and now this!

NBA - Where bawful happens!

Blogger Davros said...
I made the same face Battier did when I watched that video.

And a pimp slap to JLH for saying "vijayjay".

Blogger Joe said...
I'm vagmazed.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
Perhaps Bill Simmons reads Bawful. He appears to have finally seen the light and admits in today's podcast that he was wrong about Iverson in his book. He claims it was the biggest mistake in the book.

Ah, I doubt Simmons reads bawful. He just had an attack of good sense. And I have to point out, the Iverson placing in his pantheon garnered the most criticism of his book...even moreso than all the hooker/stripper analogies.

So, is vajazzling the new back tattoo?

Fuck, I don't know..and that really pisses me off. Am I that far out of the loop? I didn't know this shit was picking up steam. What's the point of blinging up a vagina? That's like hanging Christmas lights on your penis. I mean, I do it, but it's fairly meaningless.

So, would Fake Jordan Farmar be an improvement over most residents of Phil Jackson's bench?

Yes.

"We goin' Sizzler" has to be in the running for best pic and caption combo of the season. Amazing. I just spent a solid minute laughing at that.

Agreed. The worst part is, I'm not sure whether Yams made that up or he found out that's what The Bro of Van Ghouly was actually saying.

Mario West is back! This season is gettin' more and more bawful!
First the AIgate, then Gilbert went crazy and now this! NBA - Where bawful happens!


No kidding. With all this and the Garnett knee cover up...what? Yeah, I said it. Garnett is hurt worse than they're letting on. I'm sure of it. He's got little men in his knee slamming pick axes into all the juicy muscle.

And a pimp slap to JLH for saying "vijayjay".

I second that pimp slap. And you just know she didn't clean it up for TV. She probably said it that way to her friends and boy toys too.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
The Interwebs strike again: here's an amateur video about blinging up the kitty.

According to the description: "'Bedazzle your vagina' is a song about creating a shining world in a sometimes dark place. However, it also questions society's confining paradigm of beauty and painful enhancements women perform to find comfort within their own bodies."

Blogger Basketbawful said...

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
ahaha did you know that existed before suggesting the penis christmas lights or was that one giant bawful coincidence?

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
BTW, a "cheering for that guy" moment for Samuel Dalembert, who I believe is the only Haitian born player in the NBA right now, killing the Knicks with 12 points, 19 boards (7 offensive), and making David Lee work really hard to get rebounds for my fantasy team.

Jeffries seems to actually be playing, possibly since people are bothering him more often now as the reason why the Knicks can't pull the double superstar buy this offseason.

Harrington and Robinson: still suck

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Not only did the Knicks just win, but AI (IVERSON) just pass up the game winning jump shot. ???

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Quad post: Kobe's started the game, first quarter, with a +2 suck differential!

Blogger chris said...
AnacondaHL: For reference, as I emailed you guys a night ago, STEVE NASH started his Association career with a +1. Against the Lakers.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
The end of the MIN-HOU game was crazy. Aaron Brooks played 59 minutes, for almost 97 MP in back to backs. 3OT finally ended, despite Rockets players being so tired and unable to sink FTs, and Timberwolves players being so tired, they tried to inbound and play in the wrong half court.

Suns sucked again, giving up some large early game lead yet again; I'm too angry to look up the actual number.

Dejuan Blair had an insane game (28/21/0/2/2 but 6PF) in the absence of Tim Duncan. I officially admit he dropped too low in the draft, despite having no knees.

Portland is vajazzling the Bucks right now, up by atleast 32 points in the 3rd, aka, leads only the Bulls and Suns could relinquish.

Blogger stephanie g said...
Pacers came back from down 20 twice in a row! That's what happens when you play two teams that are allergic to defense I guess.

As for vajazzling, that seems counter-intuitively redundant. Like taking a cake and adding scoops of sugar to it.

One of the first wtf moments for me on the internet was a looong time ago when I saw a smurf porn (that's right) and their bushes were absolutely fabulous. I could never find it again though, just cheap imitations.

Also, didn't Michael Jackson do this?

Clippers will be fine, they wont make the playoffs but they're already better than they were last year at this time. But damn, Blake Griffin

Blogger jim said...
@Anaconda: Kneejuan Blair snagged that 28-20 game in only 31 minutes, too. Ridiculous numbers.

Also, watching Phoenix blow another 24 point lead made me want to strangle something cute, like a parakeet or a puppy. Is Jared Dudley the only player on the team with any real competitive swagger? And even he's looked a little glum the past few games.

It's so damn frustrating.

No. 1 overall pick Blake Griffin will have season-ending surgery on his broken left kneecap.

So maybe Simmon's theory was right after all.

Blogger Davros said...
As for vajazzling, that seems counter-intuitively redundant. Like taking a cake and adding scoops of sugar to it.

This assume the cake is sweet and tasty to begin with.

Yes, I'm covering my groinal area right now, so kick away.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
AnacondaHL -- Total coincidence.

Blogger Wild Yams said...
Mr. Bawful - I provided a link to where "We goin' Sizzler" is from (it's from White Men Can't Jump), so unfortunately I can't take credit for coining that :(

How bout the Lakers tonight? No Pau, Kobe was only at about maybe 20% of his usual self, second night on the road for a back to back against the #2 seed in the West (who was playing at full strength, btw), and LA won. Kobe did hit the game winner, but really he probably shouldn't have played in this one. I'm frankly amazed he was able to even hoist 11 shots, let alone make 5 of them. I will say though, with Luke Walton back, the Laker bench is starting to look decent again, and that'll just improve once Gasol returns and Odom goes back to being the 6th man. The Lakers still have the league's best record, and tonight became the first NBA franchise to record its 3000th win.

Way to go tonight Phoenix :) If not for that whole "defense" thing, the Suns might actually have a chance of winning something this year.

What a gamble tonight by Greg Popovich. He rested Duncan, Manu Ginobili only chipped in 2 points (on 0-10 shooting) and the Spurs won anyway behind 28 points and 21 boards from DeJuan Blair.

Did anyone else see that apparently all the players in the league voted on who the game's biggest trash talkers are, and not only did Kevin Garnett get 62% of the votes for that "honor" (a full 55% ahead of the #2 vote getter), but fellow Celtics Rasheed Wallace and Paul Pierce were also in the top 5 (along with Kobe and Nate Rob). My guess is that Celtics fans are probably proud of this fact.

Blogger Johally said...
I have a ridiculous proposition.

Someone should confront Steve Nash and convince him to grow a mustache. Then we could abbreviate his name into 'Stash'.
The conversation would go something like this: "You already have a terrible haircut. Why not grow a mustache to match so we can abbreviate your first and last names together to create 'Stash" for the latter part of your career. What have you got to lose? Seriously."
I know what you're thinking. There is no way he'd say no to that......

Blogger Dan B. said...
Bawful -- Damnit. I must now somehow find a reason to work "yay-bia" into regular conversation. That's going to be tough...

stephanie g -- Agreed, with the exception of the instances Davros pointed out. But even then idea doesn't quite sit right with me. I mean, what the hell would a vajazzled cooch look like anyway? How dare JLH talk about it and not show us?! I feel let down. (And smurf porn? Seriously? I'm almost afraid to ask, but did you accidentally stumble on that, or were you intentionally looking for it?)

Yams -- I think Bawful's point was that there is a distinct possibility that Van Gundy was actually saying "We goin' Sizzler" when that photo was taken. And I'm not willing to rule out that possibility.

Johally -- Love it.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
I think Bawful's point was that there is a distinct possibility that Van Gundy was actually saying "We goin' Sizzler" when that photo was taken. And I'm not willing to rule out that possibility.

You're exactly right. I knew where the quote came from, but I steadfastly believe in my heart of hearts that Van Gundy might actually have been saying that.

Blogger Joe said...
Yams, to quote Mickey Mantle, it ain't bragging if you can back it up!

Also Scalabrine's got moves!

See #3 on Top 10 Plays today, http://www.celticsblog.com/2010/1/14/1250802/dunks-and-celebrations

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