Not Pictured: A very jealous Latrell Sprewell
(via Andy Gray's SI Vault)

Welcome to yet another night of BAD. Unlike the Japanese restaurant I wanted to go to this afternoon for lunch, we are NOT closed on Mondays. (Seriously, what the hell? What restaurant closes on Mondays? I don't just want sushi only on Tuesday through Sunday!)

I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm still exhausted from last night's Vikings/Saints game. It's hard work watching the ball bounce around that much after eighteen fumbles in one game. I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm still exhausted from last night's Vikings/Saints game. It's hard work watching the ball bounce around that much after eighteen fumbles in one game. To help you relax, watch the amazing video in this Deadspin post.

In news that's sure to make Scottie Pippen happy, Gary Coleman is in jail. Be sure you aren't eating or drinking anything when you check out his mugshot; I don't want to feel responsible if you choke to death.

Anyhow, lots and lots of bawful pictures from the past three days, so let's get right into it with another Caption This.

Worst of the Weekend in Pictures:
20100122-allen-iverson Caption This!
Post your best caption in the comments

20100122-nyets-bench Another Nyets loss, another sad Nyets bench photo

20100123-ric-flair Woo!

20100124-david-lee "Noooo! Come back, ball!"


(Scrolls up one picture) Hey, didn't we just see this same exact pose?


The last time I saw this pose, 1) a girl was in the middle, 2) there was significantly less clothing involved, and 3) I had to confirm I was over 18 years old to view the picture


Derek Fisher can't wait for the figure skating part of the winter Olympics!


"Are we losing to the Pacers?"
"Yes, we're losing to the Pacers."


Nice fashion statement, Gerald Wallace


The many faces of Don Nelson

Nationally Televised Games:
Crabs at Heat: King Crab and Dwyane "My First Name HAS To Be A Typo" Wade match up very evenly in most of their head-to-head games. However, this IS the "Bipolar Girlfriend At That Time of the Month on Crystal Meth" Heat we're talking about. The scores in their most recent games? 113-83 win, 104-65 loss, 112-88 win, and 115-84 win.

All The Other Games:
Pacers at 76ers: You mean this game isn't being nationally televised?? I'm shocked! Shocked, I say! Both of these teams are still somewhat in playoff contention in the East! (You know, despite being nowhere close to .500)

Clippers at Celtics: So, KG's back. (I even got to watch him beat the Frail Blazers this weekend thanks to the League Pass free trial. Anybody want to pony up the money to get me a subcription to that thing? Thanks in advance.) But does it really matter? Quick algebra quiz for you: Find the value of X if the Clippers + on the road + are who we thought they were = X.

Magic at Grizzlies: Ten straight home victories by the Grizzlies? Holy crap. If anybody here saw that coming before the start of the season, please raise your hand. And then put it right back down because you're friggin' lying and you know it.

Hawks at Rockets: Houston has won 16 of their last 17 against the Hawks. Dang. This should be a good one, however, as the Hawks are playing well right now thanks to Jamal Crawford's bench play.

Bulls at Spurs: This Spurs team makes me want to start drinking like Vin Baker whenever I see them go from looking solid for a couple games to absolutely shitting the bed for a five game stretch. Play just a little defense, please??

Bobcats at Nuggets: Charlotte is right at .500 heading into this game, but is 3-16 on the road. Really? Really?? Even worse, they haven't beaten a Western team on the road yet this season, and their next six games are all part of a Western road trip. Ouch.

Suns at Jazz: Speaking of being awful on the road, the "Defense? Running to get into position? Hand in the face? Pfft!!!!" Suns haven't taken a road game since late November. And considering the Jazz are pretty damn solid at home and are playing great on offense right now... Yeah...

Hornets at Frail Blazers: I was going to preview this game, but I strained a hamstring, dislocated a kneecap, and broke a foot just typing Portland's team name.

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Anonymous Shrugz said...
Just an FYI my friend's restaurant closes one mondays HAHAHA

Blogger John said...

Blogger Will said...
Even when AI plays himself in rock-paper-scissors, he loses.

Anonymous Adrià said...
Iverson:(rude voice acting) "I'll will manage this!" --- While he's grabbing a huge dick and biting off its head.

Nowitzky: "Oh my hero!!"

Anonymous Adrià said...
In the 2nd picture of Nellie is he simulating a heart attack? or is he one of the undead appearing in the "Thriller" clip?

Blogger BJ said...
Caption: "Thankyousir!mayIhaveanother?!?"

And Derek Fisher needs to stick to basketball if he's going to pop jumps like that.

Anonymous Adrià said...
And ot say something about the Clippers algebra quiz, I'm still trying to solve one of those equations Evil Ted prepared for pickup bball...

Anonymous Anonymous said...
The value of X is 20 points blowout

Blogger Unknown said...
giving the air a hj

Anonymous Ray said...
Love the last Nellie pic ...
He looks like Barney an instant before releasing a giant burp ... :D

Blogger DDC said...
Poor Big Baby wants to drop his moniker. He might want to drop about 35-40 pounds as well.

Blogger Clifton said...

Five seconds before this picture was taken: Dirk says, "Hey, Allen! What did the five fingers say to the face?"

Anonymous kazam92 said...
Folks, Eric Spoelstra is the most bawful coach in the league. Worse than the Notorious VDN, worse than Mike Dunleavy, worse than Mike Brown.

God help us

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
BTW, here's the Yahoo writeup on potential Suns trades, and teams rumored in the talks including the Bulls, Heat, 76ers, Nets, Pistons, Cavs and Golden State, Minny and even the Wizards.

Needless to say, the Suns better not fuck this up. Again, advanced apologies to fans of the team that offers him max.

Blogger The Cruise said...
monday is SIN night.
do you not know any service workers?

Blogger nohandle said...
I hope we can get a small bawful mention for the parquet floor at the TD Garden, which caused a delay of game by sweating all over itself due to "unseasonably warm temperatures" in Boston

Blogger Brayden said...
"The angry row-boat....not just an urban sexual myth"

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
One of the main reasons why I followed Twitter was because I wanted to pick out clues from Suns players to see how they felt about Amare. I needed some justification beyond his court numbers to hate him.

Well this failed, because no one's directly saying anything about the situation. Actually, there was one JMZ video by Dudley which he went around the locker room with his cam, and when he got to Amare he just looked agitated. I really hope in the next month they say something.

How the fuck do the Suns lose shooting 17-30 3ptrs? What horrible planning of Steve Nash's twilight years (lets not go over once again, all the stupid ass trades and draft picks given away). Dragic exploded, but considering we don't even have as good of a record as the Portland D-Leaguers, fuck this team. I hope we win the lottery, making an awkward situation for John Wall to fight for playing time behind Nash and Dragic.

Blogger tps_report said...
...And then we're going to Dallas! BYAAHHHHH!!!

Anonymous said...
Allen Iverson a.k.a. Bubba Chuck: "If yuh wanna milk 'em cows, yuh gotta tweesh an' schqueeze 'em ti*ties really hard, like thish..."

Blogger Sturla said...
Zach Randolph is getting MVP considerations, Allen Iverson is (allegedly) playing team-first basketball and now Goran frigging Tragic rains 32 points on a team not named Knicks or Warriors. If thats not the first three of the seven signs of the apocolypse then I don't know what. Next up: Knee-Mac wins an NBA playoff series...with the Knicks!

Anonymous Anonymous said...
wish i got to kick it with manute bol

Blogger Silva said...
The Cavs should not even think of touching Stoudamire. The Cavs main focus should be on finding a way to keep Shaq and LeBron healthy and bring back Leon Powe a few weeks before the playoffs.

Powe can still play this season right?

Anonymous Stockton said...
Caption: I'm an all-star, baby! Team first aproach works!!!!!!

Mr Bawf (can I call Bawf?), can I get a WOTN for the Eastern conference? I mean, for the last years comentators are blabing about how strong the East is, how loaded the conference is, and then we look at the standings, and we see the only team without any chance of making the playoffs is the Nets! In the West, we have the Thunder in 11st, with a 24-20 record. Can we just shut down this argument?

Anonymous tjr2109 said...
"AI celebrates his All Star spot with an imaginary beer."

Anonymous Anonymous said...
yeesh, Monta Ellis for Ray Allen? That's gotta be a bawful trade for both sides, and the most obvious tank job for the Warriors since the 2002-2003 Cavs.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
"Dirk pretends to ignore AI's masturbation demonstration."

Blogger nohandle said...
Rasheed Wallace, quote machine: (regarding the slippery hardwood) "Yeah, you know you can't put the brakes on when you want to because you didn't know if you're going to slip. You saw a couple guys slipping out there like Peggy Fleming (an American Olympic figure skater) tonight."

Blogger VT said...
For the Iverson photo: "I'll cradle the balls, stroke the shaft, work the pipe, and swallow the gravy." (Credit to Tropic Thunder).