Is...is that a Joe Alexander sighting?! Holy Spider-Man's balls!Something must have gone horribly, horribly wrong in Chicago.
The Chicago Bulls: Going into last night's home game against the Miami Heat, the stakes were high for the Bullies. They were fighting for a playoff spot, for pride (since the Heat punked them and incited Kirk Hinrich into an ejection and suspension a couple weeks ago), and -- most importantly -- for the future.

After all, Chicago management has put all their eggs in the basket that is this summer's free agent market. That's why they traded John Salmons and the right to switch picks in the 2010 NBA Draft to the Milwaukee Bucks for what will amount to about $6 million in extra cap space. That way, they can dangle a max contract as a lure in an attempt to bring Dwyane Wade, Chris Bosh, Amar''''''e Stoudemire, Carlos Boozer or Joe Johnson to the Windy City. And since several other teams, including their own, will be able to offer those guys similar money, the Bulls needed to prove they're just one player away from becoming a contender.

In other words, they had every reason to play balls out.

Instead, their balls just kinda dropped off and Chicago fans were forced to sit through -- probably with a steaming mouthful of their own vomit -- what was probably the Bulls' worst loss of the season. Yes, worse than their home defeat to the eight-win New Jersey Nyets. Yes, worse even than the time they collapsed after building a 35-point lead against the Excremento Kings. See, after those ugly losses, at least there was plenty of time to steer the ship clear of any icebergs. But now, well, the ship be sinkin'. How far can it sink? Sky's the limit.

Because I like tormenting myself, here are some numbers. The Bulls shot just 32 percent (including 28 percent in the first half) while the Heat hit nearly 52 percent of their field goals (including over 60 percent during the first 24 minutes). Chicago had just three fast break points and got outscored 52-28 in the paint. Miami got to the rim at will, scoring 18 layups and 4 dunks. The Heat led 63-33 at halftime and 86-49 after three quarters, and their biggest lead was 39. The Bulls lost 103-74 in what was their lowest scoring game of the season. The 29-point margin was Miami’s second-largest victory of the season and Chicago's second-worst.

And, of course, Derrick Rose went out of his way to prove he might actually be overrated by going 5-for-16 and finishing with a game-worst plus-minus score of -33.

As bad as they are, those numbers can't quite get across how listless the Bulls were last night. This game was over after the first quarter...it was like the Chicago players weren't even trying. I've seen homeless people who put more effort into their personal hygiene than the Bulls put into that game. I've seen people try harder to be nice to telemarketers. I've personally tried harder to be cool about Kobe Bryant, who's, like, the world's biggest asshole and I won't be happy until he dies of natural causes during a karate attack. See where I'm going with this? The Bulls got bitchslapped...and their coach knows it.

Said Vinny Del Negro: "No good answer for anything. They just attacked us with O'Neal and Beasley. ... We did not have enough fight in us tonight. We beat each other up more in practice than we did the opponent tonight. That is the frustrating part — their effort was better, their energy was better and that is why they beat us up."

Added Taj Gibson: "They really punched us in the mouth tonight."

Even the Heat couldn't believe how readily Chicago bent over to take it. Jermaine "The Drain" O'Neal -- who blistered the Bulls with 24 points on 9-for-14 shooting -- said: "We were a little shocked. We talked about it a little bit on the bench. Especially all the conversation that was kind of here in the papers and stuff like that, their struggles and the importance of the game for them, also. ... We were prepared for a fight."

Too bad the Bulls weren't.

Chicago has now lost 11 of their last 13 games -- including a 10-game losing streak -- and are 2 1/2 games behind the eighth place Toronto Craptors. And The Math gives them about a 20 percent chance to make the playoffs.

Uh, maybe we should just keep them in the studio from now on, mmmkay?
Chuck, Kenny and Ernie: I love these guys, but let's be honest: they sucked as announcers last night. Sir Charles was mumbling and providing brilliant analysis like "Three on one break, they need to finish this" and "You can't score 19 points in the first quarter and expect to win." Kenny didn't have much of anything to say (although, after Chuck's "19 points in the first quarter" comment, he did add that "They're on pace for a 38-point half."). And Ernie was giving the most uninspired play-by-play I've heard since...uh...since I provided commentary for a girl's softball game back in college. It was bad. Honestly, they were saved by the fact that the Heat obliterated the Bulls, because then they could ignore the game and crack jokes. That was the only thing that saved them from complete embarrassment.

Can we just agree that Charles, Kenny and Ernie are great studio guys that should leave play-by-play and color commentary to, you know, pretty much anybody else? Well, except Bill Russell and Rick Barry.

The Dallas Mavericks: Most horror movies have what's known as "The Final Girl." The Final Girl is usually the second hottest chick in the movie (next to the slut / bitch, who typically dies a violent and rather satisfying death) and often a token virgin who manages to survive to the end and destroy the killer / monster / alien / whatever. In many cases, The Final Girl will develop a love interest during the course of the movie, and that dude's function appears to be to give the audience a false sense of security. After all, The Final Girl just seems safer when she has somebody watching her back, you know? I mean, there's always the off chance that guy might be able to beat back the bad guy, right? Only that never happens, and the dude usually suffers some horrible mutilation and/or dismemberment right before the final act.

Well, I've come to the conclusion that the Mavericks are that guy in the horror movie that is the upcoming Western Conference playoffs. The Lakers, of course, are Jason Voorhees. Many fans and experts have fooled themselves into thinking Dallas can maybe behead the Lakers, or trap them in a cave, or knock them into a wood chipper. Or something. But it ain't gonna happen, okay? The Mavs don't have what it takes. They don't. I don't care how many Caron Butlers or Brendan "I just work here" Haywoods they add. They are going to die horribly before the final act.

That 13-game winning streak was kind of an unlucky number for the Mavericks, who have dropped four of six games since then...with the two victories being needlessly close wins against the Bulls (see above) and Clippers (see below). Meanwhile, the Frail Blazers -- who have won five straight at home and six of their last seen games overall -- are moving up in the Western standings. And you could hardly blame them for hoping to draw Dallas in round one. After all, they're 3-0 against the Mavs this season, which gives them their first season series win over Mark Cuban's team since the 1998-99 season.

By the way, The Final Girl? She usually bites it when the killer returns for the sequel. So, in this scenario, The Final Girl is probably the Denver Nuggets.

Jason Kidd, quote machine: "They've beat us three times so for us it's about getting better. We understand that this is how teams will play us, so it's good that it happened now and not in 'the next season," he said, referring to the playoffs. So the Mavs finally understand how teams will play them...by trying to win. I'm glad Dallas finally figured that out only 72 games into the season.

The Houston Rockets: The Money Ballers have been getting pretty roughed up lately, and last night's 99-93 home loss to the Clippers proved once again that a plucky spirit combined with a can-do attitude isn't always an adequate substitute for star power.

Since no loss is complete without excuses, I should note the Rockets were missing Shane Battier (head shaving incident or something) and Kevin Martin (vaginal bleeding or whatever), so the Houston faithful can rightfully (but pathetically) log this defeat in the "Undermanned" column.

Trevor Ariza -- who led Team Pluck with 18 points, 8 boards and a career-high-tying 8 dimes -- said: "That's the hardest part about this game. We work ... all season with those guys and they go down. It takes a lot out of you. We know that coming into a game we just got to figure out ways to keep it going."

Uhm, wasn't Martin acquired at the trade deadline? If Ariza has been working with K-Mart all year, then Trevor must have a Hot Tub Time Machine and needs to share. I want to go back to St. Patrick's Day and not eat a certain corned beef sandwich that might or might not have passed back out of my system with the force of a thousand exploding suns.

Anyway, let's get back to sad-sacking the Rockets for losing to the Clippers -- the Clippers -- who hadn't won on the road since February 2. That was a stretch of 11 straight losses away from home. The skid had lasted so long that Drew Gooden, who got traded to The Other L.A. Team over a month ago, got his first road win as a Clipper last night.

I should probably also point out that Houston missed 10 foul shots and lost by six. BONK.

Baron Davis, going forward machine: "Much needed. Much needed. It was great. Hopefully it gives us a lot of confidence for the next game going forward. It was definitely a stepping stone, a learning period and I was just proud of my teammates. We didn't really turn the ball over and we got good shots." Okay, the Clippers are 27-45. What could this win possibly be a stepping stone to? Another stair on the way to Basketball Hell? Oh, wait. I just checked The Other L.A. Team's schedule. Their next game is against the Golden State Warriors. Win number 28, here the Clippers come!

Houston's "Big Three": The Rockets were led by Ariza, Aaron Brooks (18 points, 9 assists) and Luis Scola (16 points, 14 assists). But they weren't scoring in an, ahem, efficient manner. Those three dudes combined to shoot 20-for-56. I guess you could call that scoring by the Law of Averages.

Rasual Butler: Hey Rasual...you don't get off the hook just because your team won. The line: 2-for-10, including 1-for-7 from downtown.

Update! Almost forgot...on Wednesday night, the Nyets ran a promotion in which fans were allowed to turn in the paper bags they otherwise might have worn on their heads for free Nyets merchandise: a poster, a pack of player trading cards and a printed note from Yormark that said: "Thanks for letting us see your face. We hope to see it more often at Nets' games." Brilliant. Because fans wearing bags on their head want more reminders of one of the worst teams of all time. According to the story, "two people accepted the exchange offer by halftime." Thanks to Basketbawful reader Ash B for the reminder.

Update! LeBron James, ego machine: Said King Crab: "I if really wanted to win the scoring title I could win it every single year. Every single year, I could really do it. But it doesn't matter to me." Thanks to Basketbawful reader K for the link.

Derrek Lee: Okay, this isn't basketball related, but I had to included it because I live in Chicago and because this is so, so very Chicago Cubs. Lee -- who is prone to injury -- hurt himself while eating. Nope. Not making it up.

Think I'm joking about this being "so, so Chicago Cubs"? Then check it:

The sad part is that if Lee comes back on Friday, this won't rank very highly on the list of recent Cubs' freak injuries. Those candidates would include Sammy Sosa sneezing his way out of the lineup, Carlos Zambrano emailing his elbow out, Kerry Wood slipping near a hot tub, Alfonso Soriano hopping his way to an MRI and Ryan Dempster breaking his toe while jumping out of the dugout to celebrate.

Lacktion report: At a glance, I can tell chris put more effort into this lacktion report than the Bulls did doing anything last night. Unless they were trying to suck, in which case their effort was off the charts. Anyway...

Heat-Bulls: Jamaal Magloire rebounded twice in 4:15, only to brick twice and capture a giveaway and three fouls for a 4:2 Voskuhl. For the heifers, former nightmare ant Joe Alexander bricked once in that same timespan for a +1 suck differential.

Mavs-Frail Blazers: Eduardo Najera can now invest in a stock market bubble alongside team owner Mark Cuban, as he collected a fortune of 5.35 trillion (5:21) in a losing effort! Also lacking it up for Dallas were DeShawn Stevenson (+1 in 1:01 via brick from Pioneer Courthouse Square) and Rodrigue Beaubois, the latter switching on his Game Boy for a 48-second Mario!

Portland's Dante Cunningham missed once in 2:59 for a +1.

Just received word in Bawful comments that...

THE BUCKS ARE TRYING TO EXTEND THE VIABILITY OF THE JOHN SALMONS ERA BY...

SIGNING DARNELL "LACKTION" JACKSON.

YES.

Labels: Charles Barkley, Chicago Bulls, Dallas Mavericks, Darnell "Lacktion" Jackson, Ernie Johnson, horror movie references, Houston Rockets, Kenny "The Jet" Smith, Miami Heat, Portland Trail Blazers

Wild Yams reminded me of this little brouhaha in the TNT studio last night. I added it to Worst of the Night, but it really deserved its own post. As Mr. Yams put it: "Chuck's second big gaffe of the night was saying that this Lakers team is the best one Kobe's ever been on, although him saying that was totally worth it for Webber's fantastic reaction of wanting to walk off the set in disbelief. I love how Barkley shoots from the hip like that and doesn't think through the things he's about to say, because every now and then he'll let fly with a Bill Walton-esque bit of hyperbole like that. God bless Barkley."

God bless Barkley, indeed. And Webber's awestruck reaction really was the best; it even succeeded in getting Chuck to back down and revise his statement to: "Let me rephrase that. I think this Laker team is potentially, they could win a lot of championships in the next couple years. That maybe is the way I should have phrased it." Yeah. Maybe so.

As Ernie Johnson put it: "Rick Fox, rolling over in his grave." Here's the video.


Update! I was just over at basketball-reference.com trying to decide which Shaq-Kobe Lakers team would have kicked this year's Kobe-Gasol team's ass the hardest...but Mr. Yams beat me to the punch. "Seriously though, what the hell was Barkley saying, thinking that this Lakers team is better than some of those Shaq-led ones. The 2001 Lakers swept the 50-win Blazers in the 1st round, swept the 55-win Kings in the 2nd round and swept the 58-win Spurs (including wins by 39 & 29 in Games 3 & 4) in the WCF, before losing one OT game en route to a five-game victory over the 56-win Sixers (with 3 of those wins coming in Philly) for the title. You're gonna tell me that this current Laker team is better than that one?"

Yup. That's the team I would have picked too. They may have "only" won 56 games, but Kobe missed 14 games and Shaq missed 8. You could probably point to the 67-win team from 2000 too -- you know, "The Glen Rice Team"* -- but Kobe wasn't nearly as good as he would become the very next season.

*That was the year when Glen Rice decided that 12.3 shots per game wasn't good enough, even though he got the chance to play with Shaq and Kobe and win a championship. The next season, he was in New York getting 10 shots per game, winning 48 games, and getting knocked out of the playoffs in the first round by the Toronto Raptors. Good call, Glen. A few seasons later, Rice finished up his career by playing 18 games for the Los Angeles Clippers. Sometimes Karma really is a bitch.

Labels: Charles Barkley, Chris Webber, Ernie Johnson, Kenny "The Jet" Smith, Kobe Bryant, TNT

Ernie Johnson: Andre Iguodala was a guest analyst on the NBA on TNT last night, and Ernie referred to him as the "44-year-old" Andre Iguodala. Which wouldn't have been that silly of a mistake if Iggy didn't have the kind of babyface that makes you wonder whether he still gets his lunch money stolen by the big kids. The only theory I have to explain Ernie's gaffe is that he was thinking about Dikembe Mutumbo, who's been 44 for, what, the last three seasons? Now we finally have an answer to the age-old question: "Who wants to sex Mutumbo?" Ernie does.

LeBron James' fourth quarter: King James has apparently been crippled by the extreme physical burden of carrying Mike Brown's one-play* offense all season. LeBron was suffering from "unrelenting" back spasms last night that made him "unable to cut, jump and move as usual." The result? A peasant-like fourth quarter stat line (one-point, 0-for-5 shooting) and a 101-98 setback to the "nothing to play for" Chicago Bulls. And that loss, combined with the previous night's foul out, might have been the final death blow for the King's MVP bid.

LeBron actually had a chance to tie the game in the closing seconds, but he was turned back by rookie hair god Joakim Noah. Of course, The Chosen one thought there was some contact. "I went up and got hit on the arm. But that’s not why we lost the game." Superstar-to-English translation: "That's totally why we lost the game."

*That one play is "Watch LeBron. He's so shiny." Rumor has it that Brown and his assistants have been devising a second play, wherein LeBron's teammates pass the ball around like a hot potato before shuffling it to LeBron with three seconds left on the shot clock.

Sasha Pavlovic: Benched! Again! That'll teach him to hold out before the season, get injured, and then suck.

Quicken Loans Arena sound-effect technicians: With a little less than two minutes left in the game, Ben Wallace blew an uncontested dunk. As the ball clanged off the rim and sailed harmlessly away from the basket, "a loud gong inadvertently sounded in the arena, usually a sound effect reserved for one of Big Ben's blocks." Oops.

Larry Hughes, fulfilling expectations one trade too late: He sure had a game against the Cavs, didn't he? The line: 25 points (11-for-17), 8 rebounds, 9 assists, and 2 steals in 45 minutes. Oh, and he scored 19 of those points in the second half to help the Bulls overcome a 17-point deficit and end their six-game road losing streak. The Cleveland fans must have been pissed. (The title of this one was updated on the suggestion of that great challenger of the unknown, Wild Yams.)

Chris Duhon: He was about five seconds shy of a two trillion. But you know what? We're gonna bend our rules and give it to him anyway, in honor of the season he's having.

Update! Benny the Bull: Remember that whole "Benny sniped Kevin Garnett and James Posey from behind with a t-shirt cannon" thing? Well, the Bulls finally got around to explaining what really happened: "The Bulls apologized to the Celtics and explained that one of the members of the IncrediBulls -- a group that entertains during timeouts -- had tripped and his gun shot the shirts into the floor from where they bounced into the Celtics."

Nice story. A big load of, well, bullpoopy, but a good story. And KG, or one, isn't stepping in it. "Wow. That's a story. I just turned around and dude [Benny] had the smoking gun in his hands. I didn't see no lady. I didn't see nobody trip over a gun. You know what I'm saying?"

Chicago coach Jim Boylan gave his own humorous take on the incident: "It was against Posey so, it’s open season against him whenever he steps on the court in Chicago. I was proud of Benny, glad he took matters into his own hands. He orchestrated it behind the scenes." Ha, hah! Good one, coach. Of course, you know what they say. Many a truth is said in jest.

Los Angeles Clippers: They tanked Elton Brand's anti-tanking comeback by holding Chris Kaman, Cuttino Mobley, and Tim Thomas out of the game. And hey, fewer players means more opportunities for Brand which means Elton has more sign-and-trade value over the summer. It's a win-win for everybody involved.

Sacramento King announcers: One of them started to call Francisco Garcia "Spencer" in a post-game interview last night. Speaking of which...

Francisco Garcia: From Odenized. 'Cisco announced he's going to try to dunk on Kobe this Sunday. Oh, man. He should know better than that. Although, in all fairness, the announcers kind of goaded "Spencer" into it.


Reggie Theus, quote machine: Regarding Kevin Martin's growth as a player, Theus said, "He’s starting to adapt to the game now. I'm seeing things from him that I didn't see before. He's scoring easier in our offense now." He wasn't adapting to the game before? Then why did you guys decide to build your franchise around him?

Joel Przybilla's future: Joel's been playing great all season, but especially in the last month or so. But I have a bad feeling that when Greg Oden is ready to play next season, Joel will go from being "Vanilla Godzilla, the fire-breathing rebound monster" to "Ghostface Przybilla, the invisible bench holder-downer."

Tracy McGrady, quote machine: He's so happy these days. After leading the Rockets to a 95-88 win over the Trail Blazers -- he scored 26 of his game-high 35 points in the second half -- T-Mac described the excitement stirred within his heart by this season's Western Conference playoff race. "There's going to be a team that wins 50 games and doesn't make the playoffs. So it's a battle out there. I love it." I can't help but wonder how much love's going to be left after Houston's first-round playoff series, probably against either the Hornets, Lakers, or Spurs.

Mike Harris and Steve Novak: They each played 14 seconds and had a stat line that looked like a string of Cheerios. I'd totally feel sorry for them if I had a sense of compassion.

Labels: Chicago Bulls, Chris Duhon, Ernie Johnson, Kevin Garnett, Larry Hughes, Lebron James, Los Angeles Clippers, NBA mascots, one trillion, Sasha Pavlovic, Tracy McGrady, Worst of the Night

Craig Sager: He's the reason I got out of bed on my day off to do a post. If you watched the Celtics/Mavericks game and looked closely enough during the Sager segments, you might have noticed that his handkerchief had a little, multi-colored tiger head on it. Fully exposed, in fact, so it's clear that Sager wanted it seen. I'll wait for you to stop shuddering. Okay. Now, I spent almost 20 minutes scouring the Internet for designer hankies with brightly-colored tiger faces on them and came up with nothing. Maybe it's because I spent 18 of those minutes actually searching for "Gwen Stefani in bikini," or maybe it's because Sager has one of those bubble-headed Area 51 aliens locked in his basement sewing space clothes for him to wear to work. The world may never know.

Of course, Sager's suits are a weekly source of discussion and entertainment for basketball fans who watch The NBA on TNT. Sager gets mentioned here every once in a while, like when Baron Davis laughed at Craig's ugly suit du Semaine, or when Steve Nash stole his hanky to give Amare Stoudemire a wipedown. A common question I get asked in e-mails and the comments section is, "Why does Sager wear those nasty suits?" I've never answered before because I always assumed the question was rhetorical. I mean, it's obvious, isn't it? Sager's zoot suits almost always get a cheap laugh and they are the only interesting thing about his sideline reports. Think about it. Can you think of one thing that Sager "the reporter" has ever said or done that was even remotely memorable? Okay, that time he pre-announced Reggie Miller's retirement, which caused Reggie to freak out on him, was pretty funny. But that's it. Getting made fun of by Kevin Garnett is the only reason we want to see Sager, isn't it?

Chicago Bulls: The Bulls played poorly -- 37 percent shooting, 18 percent in threes, 16 turnovers, and a 102-80 home blowout by the Spurs -- but that's nothing new. Not this season, anyway. The real problem, for me, was that the Bulls just kind of rolled over and died. Jim Boylan did what any other good lame-duck coach would do and blamed himself: "We just did not have our enthusiasm the way it needed to be. I have to be honest and say I did not have us ready to play. I will shoulder that responsibility." While it's nice and all that he was willing to literally take one for the team, and while I agree that a coach needs to be able to motivate his squad, I wouldn't be so quick to lay this turd pile at Boylan's feet. The Bulls haven't had much enthusiasm all year. That joy deficit got Scott Skiles fired, and it's going to doom Boylan too (I give it about a day or two after the regular season ends). At what point are the players going to choose to turn things around? After the game, Ben Gordan said, "We've been inconsistent all year. I can't say I'm surprised by the effort tonight." If that's not a player who's already planning his summer vacation, I don't know what is. And Gordan's attitude pretty much sums up everything you need to know about the 2007-08 Chicago Bulls: They know they suck, but they either can't or won't do anything to change it.

Ernie Johnson: He tried to make a big deal about the fact that, the last time the Lakers played in Utah, the Delta Center crowd -- yes, I refuse to call it the EnergySolutions Arena -- booed Derek Fisher, who had been last year's playoff hero. Johnson of course pulled the sympathy card and claimed that the only reason Fish had nulled his contract with the Jazz was because he wanted to move to a city where his daughter could get treatment for her eye cancer condition. He followed his explanation with a short video of Fisher saying how getting booed had felt very personal. How could those bastard Utah fans do such a thing?! Kudos to Charles Barkley for once again telling it like it is: Fisher could have gone a lot of places to ensure his daughter had adequate treatment, but the reality is he wanted to play for the Lakers. That means he was willing to forsake the Jazz for one of their bitterest rivals. What are the fans supposed to do? Send him a fruit basket?

Jason Kidd: Is it just me, or does it feel like Kidd's scoring ability has gone way past the point of no return? I thought he'd get some better, easier looks in Dallas -- which he is -- and that he'd start knocking some of them down -- but he isn't. Kidd's latest ham-handed shooting performance saw him score 2 points on 1-for-8 shooting. And mind you, it was reported during the game that Kidd showed up three hours early to work on his shooting with Dallas assistant coach Mario Elie. I can only assume that extra practice helped him be 1-for-8 instead of 0-for-8. Since the trade, the Mavs' ball movement has been better but Kidd's inability to put the ball in the hoop is killing them. They traded one problem for another and, for now, it seems like they're just sort of dog-paddling in place. Which I guess is better than sinking altogether, but still...

Dirk Nowitzki: I'm not going to bust on Dirk for failing again in the clutch. Instead I'm going to rag on out how he did it. Dirk missed a layup with 21 seconds left that could have tied the game. The reason Herr Nowitzki missed is that, on the drive, he received a little nudge from Kevin Garnett. Instead of focusing on trying to complete the play, Dirk intentionally fell sideways a little in what I'm assuming was an attempt to get a whistle. This, of course, is the exact opposite of how he blew the game versus the Lakers, when he deftly avoided a flying Lamar Odom to put up a crazy, off-balance three. The two situations were different, and he handled each one incorrectly. If he would have let Odom fly into him on the shot attempt, he would have gotten the call. No question. But the refs won't call a bump foul on drives at the end of a tight game. They just won't. Which is why Dirk should have ignored the contact and concentrated on hitting the layup.

Rajon Rondo and Sam Cassell: Rondo had zero points on 0-for-7 shooting and committed 5 turnovers. He was benched in favor of Sam Cassell, who performed only marginally better by scoring 4 points on 1-for-9 shooting and having three of his shots fed back to him. Rondo's shooting touch comes and goes, but he usually makes up for his alligator arms with a little fiesty scrapping. However, there was neither fiest nor scrap from Rondo last night. And as for Sam-I-Am, well, it's clear that he's not 100 percent comfortable within Boston's system, and he's not used to being an off-the-bench roleplayer. He's forcing things offensively, although he's playing better than expected defensively (he got a clean block on Jerry Stackhouse that shocked the hell out of me). It's a concern. Not a full-fledged "Orlando Magic backcourt" level concern, but it's something for Doc Rivers to keep an eye on.

Paul Pierce: I'm not letting Pierce off the hook just because the Celtics won. With a little less than two minutes to go and the Celtics leading 88-87, Pierce bricked a couple freethrows that would have given Boston a three-point lead (I know, I'm a real math wiz). Dallas took the lead on their very next possession thanks to a couple Nowitzki freethrows. Of course, a few possessions later, Ray Allen hit the go-ahead three to put the C's on top, but if he hadn't hit it, Pierce would have been The Goat.

Utah Jazz: Not to take anything away from the Lakers, because they came out focused and ready, but the Jazz seemed to decided en masse not to play any defense until the second quarter, by which time they were already down 20. And last time I checked, spotting good teams a 20-point lead doesn't lead to many wins. The SportsCenter guys got a real kick out of Utah's tissue-paperesque D, showing clip after clip of Lakers strolling to the basket for uncontested layups and saying that the Jazz "could best be described as conscientious objectors on defense." It was weird. I always expect a little more toughness out of a Jerry Sloan team.

Update!! Reuters caption writers: This Worst of the Night nomination comes from Ben Q. Rock of the Third Quarter Collapse: "WotN: The guy at Reuters responsible for writing the caption to this picture. I understand that the '1' on Ronny Turiaf's uniform is obscured, but how does anyone mistake Turiaf for Derek Fisher? Especially when he's dunking authoritatively?"

Labels: Chicago Bulls, Craig Sager, Dirk Nowitzki, Ernie Johnson, Jason Kidd, Paul Pierce, Rajon Rondo, Sam Cassell, Utah Jazz