Knicks-Magic: Despite two assists in exactly 6 minutes, Ronny Turiaf fouled twice for a 2:0 Voskuhl.
Spurs-Mavs: For San Antonio, Ime Udoka and Chris Quinn spent 10 seconds arguing over which Game Genie codes were allowed on the hardwood tonight - resulting in their status as Mario Brothers!
Also joining the Mario party, albeit in a non-lacktive fashion, was the spectacular Steve Novak of Dallas, who managed 100% from one shot along the Stemmons Freeway...but also ran into King Koopa once for a foul in 51 seconds.
Jazz-Frail Blazers: Sean Marks notched a board in 6:35, but also earned a brick, three fouls, and a giveaway for a 4:1 Voskuhl. Fellow financier of fraility Armon Johnson collected 1.15 trillion (1:10), and in that same timespan, Luke Babbitt earned a +4 via a trio of bricks (twice from the charity stripe) and a rejection.
Labels: Worst of the Night
“I can’t think of a single guy who hasn’t improved working with us,” Kreutzer said.So you can't measure how much better someone's shooting is by their shooting percentage? I think we need to reconsider the defintion of "better" shooting.
Betterment cannot always be measured statistically. The season after Rondo’s graduation, his 3-point shooting declined 10 percentage points and his free-throw percentage by 2 points. His 2-point number rose by almost 2 percentage points.
This year, Rajon’s field-goal figures are improved. But his free-throw shooting has plunged to 43 percent, suggesting he may need a checkup.
Labels: Bawful After Dark, Dallas Mavericks, Dwyane Wade, Orlando Magic
One of the highlights for SAS was a tip from cage fighter Alex Reid, who told The Sun tabloid newspaper in April that he "reabsorbs" his sperm to prepare for a big fight.Raaaaahh.
"It's actually very good for a man to have unprotected sex as long as he doesn't ejaculate. Because I believe that all that semen has a lot of nutrition. A tablespoon of semen has your equivalent of steak, eggs, lemons and oranges. I am reabsorbing it into my body and it makes me go raaaaahh," he said.
Labels: Bawful After Dark, Hedo Turkoglu, Mike D'Antoni
The Spurs shot 42.5 percent from the field, 28.1 percent from 3-point range, and 66.7 percent from the line. A quick check of Basketball-Reference.com shows they hadn’t won a game with that sort of statistical combination since beating the Phoenix Suns in November, 2005.Kobe Bryant, worst player of the night: Mamba barely edged Shannon Brown (1-for-11). Said Basketbawful reader Karc:
How did they win? It took a great effort from Tony Parker (San Antonio is 21-1 when he scores at least 15 points) and their defense. Los Angeles shot 35.4 percent from the field, the third time they've shot that badly against the Spurs in the 49 regular season games that Kobe Bryant has played against them. Bryant missed 13 straight shots, which according to Elias, is the worst run of misses he's had in any game in his career.
The Lakers have dropped three straight games by at least 15 points, one shy of their longest stretch ever, done in November 2007.
Early nomination for Worst player of the Night has to be Kobe Bryant. In addition to the godawful shooting (8-27) and the game high for turnovers (5), he gets yet another technical, this time for arguing with George Hill. I guess in Kobe's head, he thought he was Bruce Bowen in disguise or something.Chris's Lacktion Report:
BTW, for fun, I did a quick search on all George Hills. Turns out there's one for basketball, driving, and football. There are some other notable ones, but they'll all dead. Like the Lakers, whose "potent offense" could only cough up 38 points in the second half after leading by two at the break.
Wake me when the Lakers beat a .500 team on the road. Or when they score 90 points again. If ever...
Magic-Cavs: Ryan Hollins can now write ultimatums in Comic Sans with Dan Gilbert after earning himself a 4.9 trillion (4:55), while Manny Harris handily lost the rock once in 1:57 for a +1 suck differential.
Celtics-Pacers: Jermaine O'Neal drained three fouls despite two boards in 11:55 for a 3:2 Voskuhl, while Solomon Jones smarly countered a trio of boards in 11:40 with three bricks, three fouls, and two giveaways for a 5:3 Voskuhl.
Knicks-Heat: Ronny Turiaf took it to the basket on two free throws, and earned himself a pair of boards...but in the rest of his 15:08, fouled four times and had two turnovers for a 6:4 Voskuhl. Fellow Knickerbocker Bill Walker crawled into the ledger with a foul for a +1 in 4:33.
Lakers-Spurs: Tiago Splitter sunk two freebies in 7:21 and garnered a board...but also fouled four times for a 4:3 Voskuhl. Chris Quinn mightily defeated Jerry Buss in a hand of poker worth 2.15 trillion (2:09)!
Frail Blazers-Nuggets: Renaldo Balkman successfully mined the hardwood at the Pepsi Center, as evidenced by a haul of 4.3 trillion (4:17)!
Labels: Worst of the Night
Labels: Bawful After Dark, Cleveland Cavaliers, man love, Sacramento Kings
[Joey] Dorsey was in the starting lineup because the Raptors were without their leading scorer (Andrea Bargnani, 21.2 points), their leading rebounder (Reggie Evans, 12.1) and starter Sonny Weems. Add Peja Stojakovic to the wounded, and Toronto pieced together a squad with no player taller than 6-foot-10 forward Ed Davis, except for seldom-used, 7-1 rookie Solomon Alabi. ... Evidence of how bad the Raptors' injury situation has been: Only [DeMar] DeRozan and Amir Johnson have played in all 13 games in December.Despite throwing a M.A.S.H. unit at the Care Bears, Toronto still managed to shoot 50 percent from the field, score 52 points in the paint and win the rebounding battle by a slim margin. Unfortunately, as Doug Collins might say, they forgot to value the basketball and committed a season-high 25 turnovers.
Magic-Nyets: Earl Clark crunched on two nougat-covered bricks in 3:16 for a +2 suck differential; in that same timespan, fellow alchemists Quentin Richardson and Chris Duhon went +1 (via foul and turnover respectively).
Craptors-Grizzlies: Julian Wright scrawled all over his copy of Mario Paint in 49 seconds, while Ronald Dupree stole away 1.25 trillion (1:16) worth of rollerskate parts!
For the victorious baby cubs, Hamed Haddadi had one rebound, but also only played 44 seconds for a non-lacktive Mario.
Hornets-Wolves: DJ Mbenga buzzed into the turnover column once in 2:45 for a +1 and a 1:0 Madsen-level Voskuhl.
Minnesota's Kosta Koufos threw a brick at a Koopa shell in 56 seconds for a +1 and a Mario!
Mavs-Thunder: Dallas's Brendan Haywood wasn't a hero with three boards in 18:19 being countered by four fouls for a 4:3 Voskuhl.
Generals-Rockets: Now stuck in the land of professional opponents, Al Thornton added two fouls to a brick in 7:40 for a +3, accompanied by Trevor Booker's 2.1 trillion (2:06) earmarked to solve the national debt.
Scrappy Brad Miller scraped one foul and two bricks (one from the National Mall) in 5:37 for a +3 and a 1:0 Madsen-level Voskuhl.
Frail Blazers-Jazz: Armon Johnson hammered out 11 seconds of ball for a Mario, while Utah's Ronnie Price was right after guessing he'd score a 5.2 trillion (5:14).
Clippers-The Purple Paupers Who Cannot Even Beat The Clippers: Starting forward Ryan Gomes gave the Clips a +6 in 17:14 after four bricks (two from the Senator Hotel) and two fouls in 17:14.
Sixers-Warriors: Reggie Williams recorded himself a spot in the lacktion ledger after 11:44 - bricking twice (once from Lake Merritt) and fouling once for a +3.
Labels: Worst of the Night
Labels: Bawful After Dark, nightmare fuel, Stan Van Gundy
Labels: guest author, Merry Christmas everybody, The Night Before Basketbawful Christmas
Labels: Merry Christmas everybody
Labels: Bawful After Dark, Charlotte Bobcats, Larry Brown
"I told the guys that I'll give you one. In the NBA you're going to have games like this, it just happens.Update! The Bulls' singing voices: Basketbawful reader Barry nominated this video. Deservedly so.
"It'll be easier tomorrow (at Boston). Our effort will be better tomorrow. We were just discombobulated on offense tonight. I didn't recognize us out there. I didn't even know what plays we were running.
"We would go out of time-outs and we were just looking around. I could just tell. It was one of those nights. When you've been around 40 years, you just after a while feel like there's no reason to say a whole lot."
After consecutive baskets by Boykins and Luc Richard Mbah a Moute put the Bucks ahead 82-72 with six minutes left, Milwaukee's game was encapsulated on the next possession: Salmons was faked to the floor by Bryant, yet still managed to strip the ball from Bryant in a seated position when the Lakers superstar drove past him.And then he bitched out at the end of the game. From ESPN's J.A. Adande:
Kobe Bryant lost his cool after he was called for charging in the fourth quarter, getting technical fouls from a pair of officials, then directing a certain two words immortalized in the Grammy-nominated Cee-Lo song toward official Bill Spooner as he left the court. Those were two more words than Bryant said to reporters, as he departed without comment. (It was Bryant’s first two-technical game since March 26, 2008, vs. Charlotte.)And the video:
"The same things are happening again," Brown said. "We stand around, hold the ball and turn it over. We take bad shots. In that regard you see how much more athletic than we are. A turnover for them is a dunk.The Sacramento Kings: The Kings choked up a 16-point fourth quarter lead and lost in overtime to the Warriors, who came into the game having lost 14 of their last 16. That's just the kind of season it's been for the Purple Paupers...now a league-worst 5-21.
"We can't get five guys in the right spots on the court. So then you look disorganized," Brown said. "But I think some of our young kids will have to play now and hopefully they get better. I have to figure out how I can coach better, and give them a better understanding of what we need to do.
"I have to make them understand how valuable the ball is, how to run from defense to offense and offense to defense, how to block out, share the ball," Brown said. "You can't stop telling them, you can't stop coaching it.
"It's a lot deeper than that."
Thunder-Bobcats: Cole Aldrich acquired two fouls in 2:27 for a +2 and a 2:0 Voskuhl.
Nyets-Grizzlies: Hamed Haddadi ran into a Goomba once in 40 seconds to earn a foul in the midst of a Mario, also garnering a +1 and a 1:0 Madsen-level Voskuhl!
Warriors-The Purple Paupers Who May Not Be In Sacramento Forever But Have Maintained A Coaching Vacancy Since Adelman Left: Louis Amundson celebrated the continuing implosion of Sacramento's "basketball" "team" by countering three boards and a field goal in 12:54 with a turnover AND fouling out - earning a 7:5 Voskuhl as starting big man!
Bucks-Lakers: Jerry Buss can now invite Devin Ebanks to the Christmas Texas Hold'em gathering after he earned a 1.5 trillion (1:29)!
Labels: Worst of the Night
Labels: Bawful After Dark, Golden State Warriors, Milwaukee Bucks, Sacramento Kings