Clippers Kings Basketball
Paul Westphal fires up the Invisible Lawnmower. Finally, an explanation for Suckramento's ineptitude -- his players must be tripping over invisible grass

Anyone else just absolutely getting his/her ass kicked by a post-Christmas lull? I can't even blame alcohol since I didn't drink (though that may change tonight when I go to my bowling league). I'm just burned out and feel empty inside. It's kind of like being the 12th man on the Purple Paupers' bench.

Via 30fps, behold this epic moment of soccer man love:

Soccerawful Footbawful?

Worst of the Night in Pictures:
Mavericks Thunder Basketball
Wizards Rockets Basketball
Two great moments in awkward man love history

Nationally Televised Games:
Lakers at Spurs, NBA TV, 8:30pm: Someone wanna go check the Lakers' alarm clocks? They never woke up for the Christmas game, and as far as I know, they might still be in a tryptophan coma.

All The Other Games:
Magic at Cavaliers, 7pm: The Cavs are putting up unreal numbers. They've managed to shoot 41.0% from the field in December. Brick factories everywhere are envious.

Celtics at Pacers, 7pm: Can we just get Rajon Rondo out on the floor with a pair of crutches or something? It'd be a step up from Nate Robinson.

Knicks at Heat, 7:30pm: Yes, the Heat's schedule self-corrected a little recently and they got to play some softer competition, but even considering that their defensive effort the last few weeks has been impressive. They've only allowed 86.7 points per game over the last 15 games. Damn.

Bucks at Bulls, 8pm: I'm convinced that this year's Bucks team is offended by offense.

Craptors at Mavericks, 8:30pm: Dirk's out for this game and listed as day-to-day with a minor knee sprain. Nooooooooooo! (insert dramatic music sting)

Frail Blazers at Nuggets, 9pm: Good to see Carmelo's planning on being back on the court tonight.

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Anonymous kazam92 said...
Speak of the Devil, I mentioned the Kings need to make a trade and this pops up

Blogger chris said...
So this means the Purple Paupers want an injury-prone, less-than-41-games-a-year big man who will no doubt spend more time on an exercise bike than the hardwood?

Man, the Artest/Adelman era doesn't seem all that bad now does it. :P

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Blogger Solieyu said...
I think D-Wade deserves a WoTN mention for his new Jumpman23 commercial wherein we see Wade strapped to a table by the evil Zen master, a Pat Riley/Mister Miyagi love child from the Twilight zone with every finger covered by a championship ring and garbed in Lakers purple and gold.

After the nefarious villain leaves Wade to die by purple laser, a trap he cunningly escapes by reflecting the laser from his diamond stud, we witness Wade leaping over a pit of vipers. All of which are black. I.E. Black Mambas. The rest of the commercial is routine ninja fighting and ignoring the laws of physics. This was ridiculously blatant after that Christmas game, even moreso than the vehicle symbols in the first "Dominate Another Day" commercial. Its so lame I am amused.

Speaking of Kobe, 5/19 as the 3rd quarter winds down. This won't end well.

Blogger Bing said...
LA v Spurs ain't done yet but thought I'd mentionwith six-mins left in the 4th Kobe is 8 from 23. A bounce-back win was needed today, doesn't look probable.

Anonymous The Other Chris said...
Wow, Dallas just shat all over themselves. Perhaps they're moonlighting as vacuum salesmen, because goddamn they sucked.

Raptors - yes, the Toronto Raptors - beat them soundly, at home. Raptors hell of clutch in the fourth quarter, just took it right to them. Dallas couldn't do anything. Except commit charges and throw up bricks.

Anonymous Karc said...
Early nomination for Worst player of the Night has to be Kobe Bryant. In addition to the godawful shooting (8-27) and the game high for turnovers (5), he gets yet another technical, this time for arguing with George Hill. I guess in Kobe's head, he thought he was Bruce Bowen in disguise or something.

BTW, for fun, I did a quick search on all George Hills. Turns out there's one for basketball, driving, and football. There are some other notable ones, but they'll all dead. Like the Lakers, whose "potent offense" could only cough up 38 points in the second half after leading by two at the break.

Wake me when the Lakers beat a .500 team on the road. Or when they score 90 points again. If ever...

Anonymous Karc said...
Thank god for DVR - Just went back and saw a sequence where Byrant missed 12 (maybe 13) shots in a row. Yeah, WPotN.

Blogger Wild Yams said...
Karc - I didn't see the game, but the recaps say he missed 13 in a row. 9 points apiece for Gasol & Odom, but when Kobe is attempting 27 shots in only 31 minutes, I guess it's no wonder nobody else could score. Shannon Brown going 1-11 probably didn't help things.

I've been saying it for a while now, but the Lakers' problems are all on the offensive end. They started the year putting up almost record-setting type offensive efficiency behind Gasol's stellar play, but are now looking like maybe the worst offense in the league while Gasol struggles. Kobe trying to do it all himself is not the solution though. Even if Kobe had shot 60% tonight and the Lakers had won, that style of play isn't gonna have the Lakers winning anything this year.

Blogger KHayes666 said...
While watching on my phone as the Raptors pulled away from the Mavericks, all I could think of was The Other Chris doing a happy dance.

As far as homecourt advantage goes, if the Mavs want to beat out San Antonio then losing games like this isn't going to help.

As far as my own team goes, the Celtics once again looked lazy and lethargic for 3 quarters but unlike Christmas they woke up the last quarter to pick up the W. Robinson still looks uncomfortable as the starter and the referee's appear to be targeting Shaq after his 35 K giveaway. Still, as long as Pierce/Allen/Garnett are healthy they have a chance to win every game.

Last, how in the holy green heck did the Spurs kill the Lakers with Tim Duncan scoring only 2 points?

Blogger Bing said...
In those early LA wins Brown was shooting 3s like they were layups. Blake and Barnes were putting up some numbers too.

Loss number 4 in a row tomorrow? I can't bring myself to watch.

Anonymous Stockton said...
How bad are the Lakers right now? Are they just in cruise mode until the playoffs, or are they really in trouble?

Now, can we really stop talking about MVP and settle for Dirk this year??? I mean, without him, the Mavs lost at home to the Raptors... an 8 man team... without their best players...

Blogger Wild Yams said...
This definitely deserves some attention 'round these parts: the website for the movie Space Jam is still online, unaltered since 1996. Check out those "hypercool" browser icons! "Unfortunately, this only works on a Macintosh running Netscape; sorry, Windows users." lawl Then there's this.

Blogger Dan B. said...
Wild Yams -- RE: Space Jam... Good God. It's like Geocities never died.

Anonymous Farfa said...
If you want to show some more soccer manlove:

(I am somehow ashamed to admit these two guys played for my hometown team, Bologna FC 1909, an Italian Serie A team. And they were pretty good players too... the one who turns his back to the camera, Carlo Nervo, even donned the Azzurri uniform four times)

And if you want some more:

(Again, from a Serie A team, Calcio Catania... and to think that here in Italy there's a saying that goes like this: "Soccer ain't a game for damsels"... really??)

Blogger KHayes666 said...
Wild Yams....just for fun I should cue up AOL 2.5 on my ancient PC and run that website lol

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
I heard Dirk was doing commentary for the Mavericks game and it was hilarious. Anyone got video and/or audio? I'm talking like, he deserves MVP for his performance.

Blogger Adam said...
Wild Yams: That's a FANTASTIC find. I remember when that was all cutting edge, and I'd hazard I'm one of the younger ones around here. It's insane to look a mere 15 years back at the internet and it's like a hundred years back in real life. As somebody who has done web development for fun (and later profit) since late '95, I'm guilty of a lot of that kind of design.

Stockton: The Lakers are awful right now. I can't take too much away from last night though. Even if the Lakers were playing well they'd have been hard pressed to win against this crazy good Spurs squad. Honestly this early in the season I'm still not too worried about records with one detail - home court advantage. They're still a playoff team right now, middling as they are, but without HCA, their lives just get even more tough.

WV: nophea
A Boston masshole's declaration of his bravery and confidence. "I got nophea."

Anonymous The Other Chris said...
While watching on my phone as the Raptors pulled away from the Mavericks, all I could think of was The Other Chris doing a happy dance.

HELL yeah.

Now, can we really stop talking about MVP and settle for Dirk this year??? I mean, without him, the Mavs lost at home to the Raptors... an 8 man team... without their best players...

An 8-man team BEFORE Linus Kleiza was ejected and Jarreyd Bayless limped off the court in the 4th. Tallest player we played was Amir Johnson.

Can't say enough about Barbosa in crunch time for this team. Big brass donkey balls.

Anonymous Matt said...
Random though: Is "Jannero Pargo'd" a bawful word yet, as in when a completely inadequate player shoots his team out of a game i.e Jannero Pargo in the playoffs for the Hornets a couple years back against the Spurs?

Blogger DORK said...
WHAT???? You BOWL?!?!?!?!?!?

Blogger Dan B. said...
DORK -- Hell yes I bowl. Three leagues a week during the winter, a sport bowling league during the summer (extremely difficult, low-scoring oil patterns like they use on the pro tour), and lots of local tournaments throughout the year. Also cashed for about $500 in Reno at the USBC Open last year. You can even find me on the bowling forum

Blogger DORK said...
I bowled 3 leagues and tournaments on the weekends until I had my fourth child and my oldest started playing club team bball. My dad has one Senior PBA title. I am a Voskuhl to his McHale when it comes to bowling.

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