...but still sorta funny. In a grim, morbid, unintentionally hilarious kind of way.



Thanks to all you sickos -- and there were many of you -- who submitted this.

Labels: Boston Celtics, Danny Ainge, Kevin Garnett, unintentional hilarity

We showed you Chris Paul do it. We showed you Walter Herrmann TRYING to do it. Now watch with what I can only assume will be schoolgirl glee as Scottie Pippen inbounds the ball off the back of Danny Ainge and retrieves it for an easy dunk...in Game 3 of the 1993 NBA Finals! (Start watching at the 1:58 mark.) This is, without question, the single greatest moment of inbounding history.


Many thanks to Basketbawful reader kaze for tracking this one down.

Labels: Chicago Bulls, Danny Ainge, fan submissions, great moments in inbounding history, NBA Finals, Phoenix Suns, Scottie Pippen, you've been served

Ameer Ali: I'm not big on including NCAA stuff here, but sometimes I have to make an exception. Like in the case of Ali. His team (Morgan State) was in the process of getting blown out by Blake Griffin's team (Oklahoma) when the two men got tangled up. So Ali did what any self-respecting Cobra Kai would have done: He showed no mercy, flipping Griffin -- who was just named SI.com's Player of the Year -- WWE-style over his back.


Mind you, Griffin missed most of two games this season getting concussed on February 21. (Not surprisingly, the Sooners lost those two games.) If you want to earn a reputation for extreme superdickery, go ahead and flip-slam the Player of the Year, who recently suffered from a concussion, on national television during March freaking Madness. That's about as brilliant as an inflatable male mannequin groin. And yes, they exist.

Ali was ejected and Griffin suffered a bruised tailbone. And even though it's pretty clear that this wasn't an accident, Ameer idiotically insists that it was: "Nah, it just looked worse than it was. I didn't do it intentionally. Just got locked up." Right. And O.J. accidentally cut his ex-wife into fish bait. Whoopsie! (I'm just kidding. We all know O.J. was innocent.)

Jordan Hill (Arizona) unintentionally dirty man love quote machine: Okay, one more college submission. AnacondaHL provided this quote from Hill, regarding Utah's Luke Nevill" "He's real long, real big -- way bigger than me." Takes a real man to admit that. Update! More from AnacondaHL: "Bawful I think you took the wrong stance on what I was trying to imply with Jordan Hill's quote. It's more like, 'Uh, did he just imply that he's not only seen Nevill's stuff, but has compared them to his own? Hey, anything can happen in a 5-12.'"

Dallas Mavericks: If some uber-powerful superbeing could make it as though the second and fourth quarters of last night's Mavericks-Hawks game never happened, Dallas totally would have won. As it was, the Mavs were outscored 33-16 (which included an 18-0 run) in the second and then forgot how to shoot the ball in the fourth. During that final period, Dirk Nowitzki and Jason Terry went 2-for-10 and, and Terry and Jason Kidd combined to miss all eight of their three-point attempts. (Dallas missed 25 of their 31 threes on the night, by the way.)

Said Kidd: "I think we got off to a good start in the first quarter. We kind of forgot all of that in the second quarter, and that's when the game shifted in the Hawks' favor. From then on, it was an uphill battle. We were able to get some stops defensively, but we just couldn't make any 3s when we needed to." But that didn't keep you from chucking them up did it, Jas?

To be fair, the Mavs were missing starters Josh Howard (sore left ankle) and Erick Dampier (swollen left knee). And I'm sure Dampier's long-range marksmanship could have tipped the balance. How's that for subtle-as-a-brick sarcasm?

Rick Carlisle: Rick Rude got tossed by Derrick Stafford with 2:46 left in the second quarter. The cause: Bitching at the officials. Said Carlisle: "I thought Dirk was being held and pushed and got fouled repeatedly. I kept asking for a foul to be called, but it wasn't. I turned to the official and just got thrown out." I'm not sure that accomplished much. Dirk finished the night with four free throw attempts...only two more than the Hawks got to shoot for Rick's double technicals.

The Portland Trail Blazers: Despite King Crab's seventh triple-double of the season (26 points, 11 rebounds, 10 assists), the putative "Team of the Future" very nearly almost just about put the second blemish on Cleveland's amazing home record. It might have helped their cause if they'd done a better job pressuring the ball: The Crabs committed only 2 turnovers, thereby setting a franchise record and matching the mark set by Milwaukee against Indiana on April 1, 2006. Bonus trivia: Andrew Bogut and Toni Kukoc committed those two turnovers for the Bucks. (I know, right? I couldn't believe Kukoc was still in the league in 2006 either.)

Mo Williams: It's not so much the 12 points he scored on 15 shots, it's more that he committed both of the Crabs turnovers last night. Don't be so careless with the ball next time, Mo!

Danny Ainge: Considering all their frontcourt injuries and how unimpressive Mikki Moore has been for them so far, Ainge's lack of patience in waiting for Joe Smith to be released by the Thunder is looking more and more damning, right up there with trying to save a few million dollars by letting James Posey walk. Last night, Smith gave Cleveland 12 points, perfect 5-for-5 shooting, 3 rebounds and 2 blocked shots off the bench. And every shot he hit made me think he totally could have been this year's P.J. Brown for the Celts.

The Los Angeles Lakers: On Sunday, the Lakers blew a 15-point lead and had to rally from 6 points down in the fourth quarter to beat the Mavericks. On Tuesday, they choked away a 14-point advantage and lost to the Sixers on a buzzer-beating three by Andre Iguodala. Last night, they frittered away an 18-point lead and (thanks to a three-point miss by Kelenna Azubuike) barely held off the Warriors. And these were all home games, by the way. I know a win's a win and all that, but they aren't playing well. All things being equal, they should have destroyed Golden State. Instead, they built a cushion and then got sloppy, committing 22 turnovers for 23 Warrior points. And while they won the rebounding battle 50-42, they still let Golden State -- a notoriously poor rebounding team -- grab 12 offensive boards, despite the absence of Andris Biedrins, their leading rebounder.

Said Phil Jackson: "We talked about that yesterday. We had a list of seven items up there on the boards that were haunting us, starting with turnovers in transition plays and offensive rebounds, which are dead-giveway types of things, and understanding our rotations that we have to do when we get into screen-roll situations." Seems like that talk didn't get through. It'll be interesting to see if the Lakers get their focus back on this seven-game road trip they start on Saturday.

Ronny Turiaf: Posterized by...The Son of Walton?! Getting YouTubed by Cool Hand Luke just might earn Ronny automatic entry into the Basketbawful Hall of Shame.


Kobe Bryant: Mamba shot 9-for-25 and committed a game-high (tied with Bad Porn Maggette, anyway) 5 turnovers (compared to only 2 assists). Not a strong showing against a team that doesn't practice, play or have any regard whatsoever for defense. And was it just me, or did he look a little, I don't know, tired last night?

Lacktion report: Chris -- a little less conversation, a little more lacktion, please.

Mavs-Hawks: The Mavs' Matt Carroll bricked twice from downtown in 2:49 for a +2 suck differential. And while THE Mario West ruined a potential four trillion with a board, Acie Law laid down a 1.1 trillion as Atlanta's human victory cigar.

Blazers-Cavs: Darnell "Lacktion" Jackson's double-zero jersey represents how many field goal attempts he made tonight in 6:13, fouling twice to claw out a +2 suck differential for the Crabs!

Warriors-Lakers: With Los Angeles facing the efensive-minded Nellieballers, Phil Jackson once again had the occasion to bring out a human victory cigar. But as anyone knows, the master of zen likes to one-up the rest of the Association when he can, and he did so tonight by bringing out not one, but two addictive bench celebrators! DJ Mbenga technically didn't lack it up with a block and two boards - but in 7:24, that wasn't enough to overcome a foul and three giveaways against no shot attempts for a 4:2 Voskuhl. Meanwhile, Shannon Brown went all out as a lacktator with a brick and foul in 5:12 for +2.

Spencer Pratt: I have no idea who Spencer Pratt is, but apparently he's an actor who appears on "The Hills," which seems to be a TV show that -- and I'm just guessing here -- is probably loved by people I can't stand. Anyway, he attended the Warriors-Lakers game. It's bad enough he looks like a douche, but check out that shirt. What, does his agent insist that Spencer get paid in food stamps or something?


If I'm every making enough money to afford primo tickets to a Lakers game in L.A. and I show up to the Staples Center dressed like Bill Bixby in a 1970s episode of "The Incredible Hulk," you have permission to kill me by atomic wedgie.

Donte Stallworth: Since Footbawful is taking an offseason siesta, I have to mention this here. I never thought anybody would make Plaxico "I shot myself in the leg at a dance club and then tried to cover it up during a season in which my team was trying to defend its NFL title" Burress look not-as-stoopid this quickly. But that's what Stallworth -- who recently inked a seven-year, $35 million contract with the Cleveland Browns -- did when he struck and killed a pedestrian at seven in the morning while, you guessed it, driving under the influence. Seriously, when are professional athletes going to learn to stop jumping behind the wheel after a bender?

Labels: Ameer Ali, Dallas Mavericks, Danny Ainge, I had no idea Luke Walton could dunk, Jordan Hill, Los Angeles Lakers, Mo Williams, Portland Trail Blazers, Rick Carlisle, Ronny Turiaf

Basketbawful reader Alexandru wrote in from Romania and alerted me to Steve Aschburner's column on SI.com, in which Aschburner, while discussing the Minnesota Timberwolves, said: "Then there's [Kevin] Love, a feisty rookie from UCLA who sees the floor and loves to pass. Those are skills that got [Kevin] McHale into the shrine in Springfield."

[Spits morning coffee all over the computer screen]

Great googly moogly! Seeing the floor? Passing?! This seems like a good time to point out that McHale was dubbed The Black Hole by his teammates and that McHale himself once described his shooting philosophy as: "If there are three guys on me, shoot. If there are four guys on me, pass."

Just watch the following video, in which Danny Ainge, Dennis Johnson and Robert Parish describe McHale's penchant for ball-hoggery. The best quote comes from D.J., who said: "You stand there for a while just hopin', but from the bench you here the coaches sayin' 'Hey, cut Dennis, cut, because you aren't gonna get it back.'"


Here's another video that shows off why Kevin was so reluctant to give up the rock.

Labels: 80s Celtics, black hole, Danny Ainge, Dennis Johnson, fan submissions, Kevin McHale, Robert Parish, Sports Illustrated

If there were two guys in the 80s you wouldn't have expected to find dunking on each other in a solitary game of one-on-one, it would have been Dennis Johnson and Danny Ainge. But Reebok begged to differ, to the point where they made an entire commercial that centered around such a dubious scenario. The "dunks" are filmed in that sad, look-away manner that suggests poor DJ probably had to jump off a folding chair just to reach the rim.

The best part of this particular commercial is the ending, where the two men smile and pull into an embrace that's gayer than a fanny pack full of rainbows. I guess Danny is just a better man than me, because I'm not sure I could hug a guy who just dunked all over me.

Labels: Danny Ainge, Dennis Johnson, dunks, Reebok, shoe commercials

The leprechaun can finally smile again.

By Basketbawful and Evil Ted

After enduring several years of constant "Where's KG going to end up?" speculation*, we finally have the definitive answer: The Boston Celtics.

* Sorry, Kobe. But not really.

This is a great move for the Celtics, even if it doesn't take them directly to the Promised Land. For the past five seasons, the team has been a laughingstock, mired in mediocrity (at best) and disgrace (at worst). They haven't appeared on national TV since Zeus knows when -- and rightfully so. Two blockbuster trades later and they're suddenly relevant for the first time since Larry Legend's final season* and a legitimate contender in the East. If Lebron and the Lebronettes were good enough to make it to the Finals last year, why not a potent Garnett / Paul Pierce / Ray Allen combination this year? There's no reason to think they won't do well in a conference where the other contenders -- Chicago, Cleveland, Detroit, Miami, and New Jersey -- pretty much stuck with the status quo**.

* Despite the fact that Larry Bird, Kevin McHale, and Dee Brown missed a combined 114 games, the 1991-92 Celtics still managed to win 51 games and capture the Atlantic Division title. They finished the season on a 15-1 tear -- even winning their final eight games without The Basketball Jesus -- and then went 5-1 in the playoffs before Bird returned from a late-season back injury and screwed up the team's chemistry. The Celtics ended up losing to the Cavaliers in a tough seven-game series that turned irrevocably in Game 4 when a rusty Bird missed not one but two game-winning shots. And thus ended the Bird Era.

** Except Miami, who got significantly worse; their best shooter (Jason Kapono) walked, they lost out on the Mo Williams Sweepstakes, and they and signed Smush Parker, a.k.a. "the worst point guard in the NBA." Pat Riley's failure is now complete.

If you think about it, the trade is nothing short of a miracle, not only because Ainge pulled it off with what he had to offer (the promise of Al Jefferson's future greatness), but also because he managed to hold on to both Pierce and the recently-acquired Allen. It flies in the face of all the "inside the box" thinking he'd become infamous for. All the talk of "potential" and "youth" has been going on too long with the Celtics, and it was way past time to shake things up. So rather than gamble on the Utah Jazz formula for success -- young, hard-nosed, character guys + tenacious defense + two or three plays run to perfection -- he's going the Miami Heat route: A core of hungry, All-Star veterans surrounded by a handful of decent role players. Garnett, Pierce, and Allen all have something to prove*, and here's hoping that together they can prove it. Garnett is the inside presence, Pierce is the slasher, Allen is the shooter...that combination could work out quite nicely. The C's still need some frontcourt depth and a steady point guard, but with a new Big Three in town, they don't necessarily need Tony Parker bringing the ball down court.

* Perhaps the most fascinating subplot in the trade is that Garnett finally gets to prove whether he can win when surrounded by a talented supporting cast. Is he a winner or just a numbers guy? Time to find out.

No, the Celtics won't be deep, but neither were the Celtics of the 80's*. With only five players on a court at once, basketball is a sport where one superstar player can make the difference -- just ask the Heat. No, Garnett, Pierce and Allen aren't Bird, Parish and McHale -- who, as Rick Pitino would point out, still aren't coming through that door -- but I'll be damned if this team won't be a thousand times more exciting to watch than they have been since, well, forever. No, the window isn't huge -- 3 or 4 years, tops -- but better a small window than the brick wall the Celtics have been banging their heads into since, well, forever.

* As noted, the 1986-87 Celtics quite possibly had the worst bench of all time. The 1987-88 Celtics weren't much better off. Go back and watch Game 7 of the 1988 Eastern Conference Semifinals, also known as Larry's duel with Dominque. Coach K.C. Jones was forced to play a group of white stiffs comprised of Brad Lohaus, Fred Roberts, Jim Paxson, and Mark Acres. Their best reserve, Reggie Lewis, was a rookie and played only three minutes. Ugly.

Maybe Danny isn't a genius. Maybe he's just taking advantage of his relationship to Kevin McHale. But I don't particularly care how he did it, just like I don't particularly care who Red Auerbach beat up in a dark alley when he traded for McHale and Parish*. Let the next chapter for the Celtics begin.

* Sorry, Joe Barry Carroll. But not really.

Labels: blockbuster trades, Boston Celtics, Danny Ainge, Kevin Garnett, Kevin McHale, Larry Bird, Paul Pierce, Ray Allen, Robert Parish

Uh, nice...bowtie...or whatever.

Just what in the name of Odin's shaggy beard was Danny Ainge thinking? Let's see: The Boston Celtics are led by a 6'6" All-Star perimeter player. So what does Ainge do? He deals the 5th pick in the draft for a 6'5" All-Star perimeter player. Ray Allen is basically just an older, lamer version of Paul Pierce who, in case you didn't know, is already a Celtic. And he's coming off surgery on both ankles. And he's got three years and $52 million left on his contract. Assuming the C's keep him, he and Pierce are going to account for between $30 and $40 million in cap space over the next three seasons, which drastically limits their ability to add other quality players.

This isn't going to work. It won't. It can't. Allen and Pierce are both quality players, All-Stars even. But they play the same position and do the exact same types of things (mostly firing it up from the outside). Does anybody remember how the 2002-03 Wizards teamed Jerry Stackhouse (a mad bomber) with an aging Michael Jordan (whose creaky knees had transformed him into a fall-away jump shooter)? That didn't work either, unless you consider 37 wins and an early vacation "working." Then again, after a 24-win season that featured an 18-game losing streak, 37 wins would be a pretty significant upswing.

Speaking of moves that made me want to whack my head with something hard, how 'bout those Knicks, huh? On paper, it looks like a great move: they essentially dumped Steve Francis and his bloated contract (two years, $33 million) for a legitimate 20/10 guy. Zach Randolph was, without a doubt, one of the best low post players in the West. But the Knicks already had one of the best low post players in the East. Do Randolph and Eddy Curry really complement each other? Of the Knicks many needs, "second inside scorer" was not among them. Plus, they're not exactly making cap room: Zach has four years and over $60 million left on his current contract.

Let me break this down for you: The Celtics and Knicks, two of the worst teams in the league, both brokered deals that brought them more of what they already had, and at a very high price. I don't get it. Am I the only one who doesn't get it? Did I forget everything I ever knew about basketball overnight? Can anyone explain these moves to me?

And lastly, I have to address my Bullies. They drafted Joakim Noah, supposedly a "steal," with the 9th pick. Again, on the surface it was a great move. Noah's a high-energy player with boundless energy and enthusiasm. He's also a character guy and a proven winner. What he is not is anything remotely resembling what the Bulls actually needed, which was (primarily) a low post scorer and (secondarily) a big guard/small forward who can penetrate and create his own shot. Noah is not a scorer. He can't score inside, nor can he shoot from the outside. Most of the 12 PPG he scored in his Junior season at Florida came on layups and tip-ins. You know, last summer, the Bulls spent $60 million on a guy who could rebound, bang bodies, had a winning history, and couldn't score in an empty gym full of five-foot hoops. His name is Ben Wallace, and he already does all the things Noah is predicted to do.

Seriously, my head hurts.

Labels: Ben Wallace, Boston Celtics, Chicago Bulls, Danny Ainge, Eddy Curry, Joakim Noah, NBA Draft, New York Knicks, Paul Pierce, Ray Allen, Zach Randolph

This is the second part of the sad tale of why the Celtics will suck forever. You can go back and read Part 1 if for some reason you enjoy really depressing stories.

1998-99: The Celtics draft Paul Pierce, which ends up being the first good draft choice the team has made since selecting Rick Fox in 1991. But the reality is that the team is still dependent on guys like Vitaly Potapenko, Tony Battie, and Dana Barros. 'Nuff said. The C's finish 19-31 in a lockout shortened season and, again, fail to make the playoffs.

1999-00: Rick Pitino continues to destroy the Celtics*. Thanks to some of his earlier deals, the Celtics don't have a draft pick until the 26th spot of the second round. Pitino still manages to screw that one up by selecting Kris Clack (who never plays for the Celtics -- or any other NBA team) instead of Manu Ginobili. For some reason, the Celtics trade Ron Mercer in order to reaquire Eric Williams (despite the fact that he had suffered a serious knee injury). They also get Danny Fortson in the deal. Antoine Walker and Paul Pierce both pour in 20 PPG but shoot in the low 40s. The season's most memorable moment is when Pitino gives his famous "Larry Bird is not walking through that door…" speech. The team plays no defense and finishes 35-47. They don’t reach the playoffs. Again.

*During the summer of 2000, I was in Chicago’s O’Hare airport waiting to catch a plane to Myrtle Beach when I looked over and noticed Rick Pitino waiting for the same flight. Being a long-time Celtics fan, I had grown to hate this man the way that Holocaust survivors hate Hitler. As I walked through First Class where he was sitting, I yelled at him, "Hey Pitino, you screwed over Red Auerbach and destroyed the Celtics. Good job." He didn’t respond or even look at me, but I hope my diatribe had something to do with his resignation the next season.

2000-01: Pitino drafts Jerome Moiso (who plays only 24 games and averages 1.5 PPG) instead of Quentin Richardson, Jamaal Magloire, or Michael Redd. On Septemer 25, 2000, Paul Pierce is hit in the head with a champagne bottle and stabbed 11 times in the neck and back outside a Boston nightclub. The attack punctures Pierce's left lung and surgery is required to save his life. Miraculously, Pierce recovers and plays all 82 games an sets career highs in points, assists, field goal percentage, and minutes. However, the team starts out 12-22, and, as a result, Pitino finally cracks and resigns with a record of 102-146 as the Celtics coach (he later admits he never would have taken the job if he'd known the team wouldn't be able to draft Tim Duncan). Pitino is replaced by Jim O'Brien as coach and Chris Wallace as General Manager, and Red Auerbach is reinstated as Team President. O'Brien coaches the team to a respectable 24-24 finish which, despite the 36-46 overall record, gives reason to hope.

2001-02: The Celtics have the 10th, 11th, and 21st picks in the draft, and they select Joe Johnson, Kedrick Brown, and Joseph Forte over guys like Richard Jefferson, Zach Randolph, Tony Parker, Gilbert Arenas, and Mehmet Okur. Their one good selection, Johnson, is dealt to the Phoenix Suns in a midseason trade for Rodney Rogers and Tony Delk. Jim O'Brien works some serious coaching magic, leading the team to 49 wins and a trip to the Eastern Conference Finals, where they fall to the New Jersey Nets in six games. During this series, the Boston crowd shows how far they've fallen by serenading Jason Kidd with chants of "wife beater" throughout Games 3 and 4.

2002-03: Due to earlier trades, the Celtics don't draft until the 21st spot of the second round. They select Darius Songaila. The team trades Kenny Anderson, Vitaly Potepenko, and Joseph Forte for Shammon Williams and a fat Vin Baker (and his even fatter $12 million contract). Baker manages to average 11 PPG and 8 RPG, but turns out to be a binge-drinking alcoholic. Coach Jim O'Brien repeatedly smells alcohol on Baker's Twinkie-coated breath and confronts him about it. The team is forced to suspend Baker and eventually releases him. Danny Ainge is hired as the Executive Director of Basketball Operations. The team loses a step without Anderson, who was their floor leader, and wins only 44 games. The team does qualify for the playoffs, but they are knocked out in the second round by the New Jersey Nets.

2003-04: Danny Ainge drafts Troy Bell, Dahntay Jones, and Brandon Hunter instead of players like Boris Diaw, Leandro Barbosa, Josh Howard, Luke Walton, or even Kyle Korver. Bell and Jones never play for the team, and Hunter is a bust. Ainge also trades Antoine Walker and Tony Delk to the Dallas Mavericks for Raef LaFrentz (along with his chronic injuries and ginormous contract) and a draft pick. Ainge feuds with coach Jim O'Brien, then trades Eric Williams and Tony Battie to Cleveland for Ricky Davis, Chris Mihm, and Jiri Welsch. O'Brien resigns in disgust with the team only 22-24. John Carroll takes over as coach and the team struggles to a 14-22 finish. The C's 36-46 record is (amazingly) good enough to make the playoffs...where the team is promptly swept in the first round by the Indiana Pacers. It's important to note that the Celtics were part of the trade that sent Rasheed Wallace to Detroit, which helped propel the Pistons to the 2004 NBA championship.

2004-05: The Celtics have a successful draft by selecting Al Jefferson, Delonte West, and Tony Allen. They also manage to dump the salaries of Chris Mihm, Chucky Atkins, and Jumaine Jones by picking up Gary Payton and Rick Fox (who immediately retires) from the Lakers. Danny Ainge hires Doc Rivers to coach the team. During the season, Ainge trades Payton to the Atlanta Hawks in order to reaquire Antoine Walker. The Hawks release Payton, who immediately resigns with the Celtics. The team manages to win 45 games and captures their first Atlantic Division title since the 1991-92 season. However, they lose in the first round to the Pacers, who finish them off in Game 7 at the Fleet Center.

2005-2006: Danny Ainge lets Gary Payton walk as a free agent and completes a sign-and-trade deal that sends Antoine Walker to the Miami Heat for Qyntel Woods and Curtis Borchardt (neither of whom ever play for the Celtics), two future second round picks, the rights to a Spanish center who never plays for them, cash, and some old Rainbow Bright trading cards. Ainge also signs Brian Scalabrine to a five year, $5 million contract. During the season, Ainge trades Ricky Davis, Mark Blount, and Marcus Banks to the Minnesota Timberwolves for Wally Szczerbiak (and his bad knees), Michael Olowokandi (and his lousy work ethic), and Dwayne Jones. Paul Pierce plays like an MVP, but the team finishes with a 33-49 record and doesn’t make the playoffs.

2006-07: The Celtics trade for Sebastian Telfair instead of drafting Brandon Roy; Telfair proves to be a bad fit, gets into legal trouble and is eventually released while Roy goes on to become the Rookie of the Year. Red Auerbach dies. Doc Rivers continues to "coach." Paul Pierce gets "injured" and the team begins to tank. This leads to a franchise-worst 18-game losing streak in the midst of a 2-22 stretch that lasts from December 2006 to February 2007. Dennis Johnson dies. The team finishes 24-58, which is the second worst record in the NBA. The team gives Rivers a contract extension. The Celtics effectively mortgage their future in the hopes of landing the first or second pick in the draft (and thus the chance of selecting Greg Oden or Kevin Durant). Instead, the Celtics end up with the fifth pick, which was (of course) the worst possible slot they could have drawn. It becomes official: the Celtics are doomed forever.

Labels: Antoine Walker, Boston Celtics, Danny Ainge, Destrucity, Doc Rivers, NBA Draft, Paul Pierce, various Celtics players