There will be no Worst of the Night post, folks. There were only two games, both pretty good, and I'm suffering All-Star break letdown.

Instead, here's a different sort of treat. The RedEye -- a free daily publication put out by the Chicago Tribune -- ran a story in which various members of the Chicago Bulls recount the tale of their first dunk. And, in case you've forgotten, Brian Scalabrine and Kyle Korver both play for the Bulls.

And so...

Labels: Brian Scalabrine, dunks, Kyle Korver

This classic line from Darryl Dawkins makes me greatly fear for the safety of every toilet on Planet Lovetron: "I didn't mean to destroy it. It was the power, the Chocolate Thunder. I could feel it surging through my body, fighting to get out. I had no control over it."

Believe it or not, this is George Gervin's response to the same event: "I started to rush in to help out. Then I saw Double D cock the ball behind his head. I got the hell out of there. I knew what was coming. I had seen his Kansas City act on the TV replay. In slow motion. It was scary." Don't feel bad, George. You're not the first man to run from the Chocolate Thunder.

Please tell me I'm not the only one who laughed out loud reading these quotes (which are from NBA.com by the way). If you want to know what Sir Slam and the Iceman were really talking about, watch this video. It's the number three (and not, as you might suspect, number two).

Labels: Darryl Dawkins, dunks, George Gervin, Out of Contexts, poop humor, quotes

Kobe Bryant took a page out of Tracy McGrady's book and is using his injured pinky to avoid playing in the All Star Game. That sound you hear is Magic Johnson shaking his head in pity. After all, he played in the All Star Game while terminally ill.

Gregg Popovich is still salty and bitter over the Pau Gasol freebie. Popob*tch says there should be a trade committee that could squash blatantly lopsided trades. I wonder what this committee would have said about the Spurs trading Luis Scola for Sylar from Heroes. Minus the ability to cut open skulls with his mind.

Who would've guessed that referee Bob Delaney was a complete badass?

David Stern shot down Dwight Howard's proposal to raise the rim to 12-feet for this weekend's Slam Dunk Contest. Still no word on Big Head Mode or whether three consecutive buckets will cause a player to burst into flames.

Stephon Marbury will miss the rest of the season with season-ending ankle surgery. The Knicks are 15 and 37. I wouldn't say he'll be missing it, Bob.

Latrell Sprewell is flat broke. I guess he really did have a family to feed.

A commercial for WNBA Live 2008. It's as awesome as it sounds.

Labels: dunks, Dwight Howard, gratuitous video game references, Gregg Popovich, Kobe Bryant, Latrell Sprewell, referees, Stephon Marbury, WNBA

Grizzlies owner Michael Heisley has basically blamed the Pau Gasol giveaway on the Chicago Bulls. The beef is that cheapskate GM John Paxson refused to make a highball offer on Pau to help inflate his value. The Nets had a similar problem when they dealt Jason Collins.

Timberwolves insiders are concerned that Kevin Garnett may no-show his coming appearance on Friday. In the meantime, Kevin incarnate Al Jefferson drops 29 and 15 over the last 5 games but still gets the Fake Shemp treatment.

Ron Artest made an underhanded trade request by insisting that the Kings are better without him. This is in no way related to Brad Miller being mortally wounded by a sink full of dirty dishes.

The fine folks at RedsArmy.com believe that Ben Wallace would have been a better fit for the Lakers than Pau Gasol. While watching LA spend $15 million a year for a backup to Ronny Turiaf would have pleased me to no end, the cost of that is seeing Kwame Brown in a Bulls jersey. Ugh.

Jamario Moon's YouTube video has officially gotten people stoked for the Slam Dunk Contest. We'll ignore the fact that his practice rim seems suspiciously low. Remember the Jordan Jammer?

Labels: Ben Wallace, Brad Miller, Chicago Bulls, dunks, Kevin Garnett, Minnesota Timberwolves, Pau Gasol, Ron Artest

If there were two guys in the 80s you wouldn't have expected to find dunking on each other in a solitary game of one-on-one, it would have been Dennis Johnson and Danny Ainge. But Reebok begged to differ, to the point where they made an entire commercial that centered around such a dubious scenario. The "dunks" are filmed in that sad, look-away manner that suggests poor DJ probably had to jump off a folding chair just to reach the rim.

The best part of this particular commercial is the ending, where the two men smile and pull into an embrace that's gayer than a fanny pack full of rainbows. I guess Danny is just a better man than me, because I'm not sure I could hug a guy who just dunked all over me.

Labels: Danny Ainge, Dennis Johnson, dunks, Reebok, shoe commercials

Greg Ostertag has meant so much to us and our site over the years, that I decided to look him up on YouTube. I expected the usual: 'Tag getting dunked on and posterized by various former and current players. And sure, I found plenty of that, but I also discovered a clip of Greg engaged in a heated ping pong match against a 5-year-old. You'll notice he displays the same level of focus and intensity that made him a listless bumblepuppy for 11 mostly forgettable NBA seasons.


If that clip didn't satisfy your desire to see Ostertag being emasculated, then here's a sick dunk thrown down on the big guy by Amare Stoudemire.


And if you want some old school embarrassment, here's 'Tag getting dunked on by Glenn Robinson in the 1994 NCAA Regional Semifinals.


Later in that same game, Robinson later proved that Greg is just like Lays potato chips...you can't dunk on him just once.

Labels: Amare Stoudemire, dunks, Glenn Robinson, Greg Ostertag

Wisdom is knowing when to reach for the stars and when to accept the fact that you are a pathetic bumblepuppy have limitations. To wit: if you need to jump off your friend's back to dunk a basketball, maybe that's God's way of saying "Keep your damn feet on the ground, mortal fool!"

Labels: dunks, Dwyane Wade

Just when we thought the whole "White Men Can't Jump" deal was finally about to blow over.

Labels: Brad Miller, dunks, White Men