I don't know why, but this song totally popped in my head when I saw this pic. With LeBron singing it, of course.
The Cleveland Cavaliers: Okay, let's consider the following Crab facts: A transcendent game from LeBron (43 points, 13 rebounds, 15 assists, 2 steals, 4 blocks), 116 points on 50 percent shooting, a 66-46 advantage in points in the paint and a 40-26 edge in free throw attempts.

How the hell did Cleveland lose this one?!

Well, let's start with that FTA advantage. When you get 14 more foul shots than your opponent but end up only +2 in points off those attempts, something has gone very wrong. The Crabs shanked 17 freebies, which is especially damning in a game that goes to overtime. The primary culprits were The Big Clanky (0-for-6) and King Crab himself (12-for-17). Shaqnopsis? Yep. Shaqnopsis.

Another problem, believe it or not, was LeBron's shot selection. His overall accuracy (15-for-33) wasn't terrible, but it would have been 14-for-24 had he not gone a miserable 1-for-9 from downtown. And it's not like he was bricking wide-open threes, either. At least six or seven of those attempts were heat checks of the highest order. In fact, after he knocked down his one and only trey late in overtime, he immediately chucked up two turrible threes on Cleveland's very next possession when a drive or a post up would have been the better choice. And, as it happened, some gritty offensive rebounding by his teammates gave him a third chance...at which point he finally took it to the cup and tied the game with a layup and one.

But the Basketball Gods were clearly offended by LeBron's gunning, because they let Carmelo Anthony (40 points, 6 boards, 7 assists) hit the game-winner over his good buddy's outstretched claw. We can only hope King Crab understands it's nothing personal...just business.

Said the Chosen Crustacean: "It's finally me being on the other end I guess. I'm so used to being on the other end making shots and looking at guys."

Ah...modest as ever!

Mind you, LeBron missed his final four shots, while 'Melo made 7 of his last 8. I'm just sayin'.

Shaquille O'Neal, quote machine: "We have to chalk this under another game of us beating ourselves. The whole world knows we beat ourselves tonight. Too many turnovers, too many missed shots."

Notice how he didn't say anything about missed free throws?

Cancer: What a bummer to find out that George Karl has neck and throat cancer. I've gotta give him some mad props for gutting it out and sticking with his team. Now he's looking at coaching the stretch run while undergoing a six-week treatment program of radiation and chemotherapy. Damn.

Said Karl: "I think I need the gym and I need the juice of being happy about kicking someone's butt and preparing and watching video. I felt very early it made no sense for me to separate from the team. ... It's going to be my sanctuary to do what I like to do and forget maybe the things that are always going to pop into your mind."

I wish him well. Especially if he keeps giving us things like...

George Karl, unintentionally dirty quote machine: Submitted by our very own lacktion chris: "Penetration will wear them out." Yes. Yes, it will.

Speaking of unintentionally dirty quotes...

The Associated Press, unintentionally dirty quote machine: This item from the AP recap of the Nuggets-Crabs came was submitted by Basketbawful reader Jan N.: "James and Anthony entered first and third in the league in scoring, respectively, and didn't disappoint. The two combined to make just 4 of 20 shots in the first quarter, then spent the rest of the night hitting huge shots in each other's face."

Eek.

The Los Angeles Lakers: I guess all those "Are they better without Kobe?" qustions got answered last night. L.A. missed nine free throws, barely shot over 40 percent as a team, managed one measly field goal over the final 7:14, and scored only 86 points on their home court against their most bitter rival. That's a pretty big fail, right?

Historical footnote: That point total was the Lakers' lowest against the Celtics since February 15, 1991, when they lost 98-85 at the Forum. That was the famous game (well, to me, anyway) in which Vlade Divac had talked a little smack about how the Lakers' previous game against the Celtics in Boston had been "an exhibition." Somebody brought that to Robert Parish's attention, and the Chief's response was, "Well, fuck Vlade Divac." Parish went out and destroyed Divac, scoring 21 points on Vlade in the first quarter...which, considering the fact that at that point Chief was the fourth option, was like Bird dropping 40 in a quarter. Man, that was awesome.

Honestly, though, the Lakers had no excuse to lose this one. The refs let them play hacky-smack defense in the paint but tagged Kevin Garnett with some cheap ticky-tac fouls that limited him to only 26 minutes. In fact, Boston was up 66-55 in the third quarter when KG got hit with another cheapie -- his fourth of the game -- and had to go to the bench with 8:27 left to go in the period. By the time he got back into the game midway through the fourth quarter, the Lakers were on a run that gave them an 84-80 lead.

Note the Lakers scored only 2 more points after KG came back. Again, I'm just sayin'.

Rasheed Wallace: One of the main reasons the Celtics took a chance on Wallace was so he could act as a replacement for Garnett when KG was hurt or in foul trouble. Since that was the case last night, 'Sheed logged 20 minutes...and went 2-for-11 from the field, including 0-for-3 from downtown. And his shots were not pretty. Even his postups looked awkward and forced. Although trying to shoot over Pau Gasol will do that.

The bigger problem, pun intended, is Wallace's big, fat ass. I've watched probably 80 percent of Boston's games this season, and I'm not sure there's been a single one where a broadcaster didn't say something like, "If Rasheed Wallace can get in shape" or "When Rasheed Wallace gets in shape." Hell, Doug Collins said it last night. Uh, Doug, over half the season has gone by. If someone can't get in shape by playing professional basketball for several months, what's it going to take? A fat farm? Do we need to hide his boxes of Twinkies?

On top of his cruddy shooting, Wallace's picked up lucky technical foul number 13. Three more mean an automatic one-game suspension. And mind you, the league office recently rescinded two technical fouls he already gotten.

Oh, and then there was this play...

Ron Artest: I could watch this all day. In fact, I probably will be.


Lacktion report: With Big Shot Larry a member of his Purple Paupers, chris can only drown his sorrows in lacktion:

Nuggets-Crabs: Malik Allen closed out the 2nd quarter in a Tanooki Suit as the result of a 4.4 second Super Mario!!!

Celtics-Lakers: Brian Scalabrine provided some celebration in Los Angeles with a take of 2.05 trillion (2:04)!

(In non-lacktive news, Andrew Bynum earned a Calvin Murphy with 14 points and 9 boards.)

Labels: Boston Celtics, Cleveland Cavaliers, Denver Nuggets, George Karl, Lebron James, Los Angeles Lakers, Ron Artest

The Denver Nuggets: Give the Nuggets some credit: They played the Lakers to a standstill through three quarters. Unfortunately for the Denver faithful, David Stern continues to insist that games go the full four...which turned out to be seriously bad news for the Nuggets. I'm talking "the groom drinking too much at his own wedding and DYING" bad. Denver was thoroughly outplayed in the final period en route to a 103-94 knockout that sorta reminded me of this one:


The Nuggets shot 23 percent (5-for-21) in those final 12 minutes, during which they were outscored 27-18. But actually, their fail parade started with a case of butterfingers in the third quarter. Denver was up 73-68 with 4:20 to go in the third when Chauncey Billups got caught in the air and threw a tuuurrible pass that was stolen by Pau Gasol, which led to this momentum-changing posterization of the Birdman by Shannon Brown:


That was the first of four straight turnovers by the Nuggets. On their next possession, Billups had ANOTHER pass stolen by Gasol. After that, Carmelo Anthony got called for traveling. Next up was a shot clock violation. Denver scored only once more in the quarter -- a three-pointer by Billups -- which allowed L.A. to come back and tie things up.

After that, the Nuggets became totally unhinged. It took them more than four minutes to score their first points of the fourth quarter...by which time they were already down 11 (87-76). The good news is that they outscored the Lakers by two the rest of the way. The bad news is that they lost by nine.

Nene: The Lakers' big men (Lamar Odom, Pau Gasol, Trevor Ariza and Andrew Bynum) owned the paint the way these exercise balls owned their exercisers, combining for 54 points, 31 rebounds and 11 blocked shots. And while they were kicking sand in the Nuggets' faces and taking their girlfriends and/or baby mamas, Nene was either a helpless shooting prop or watching from the sidelines. Shackled by foul trouble all night, Nene fouled out in only 26 minutes, finishing with 4 points (1-for-3) and as many fouls and turnovers as rebounds (8). Of course, it's worth pointing out...

Nene's sixth foul: It was complete and utter crap. I've seen Nigerian money scams that were easier to swallow. (Speaking of which, if you haven't checked out 419eater.com, you really should.) Pau Gasol -- while trying to drive from 17 feet out -- bent down, stuck out his off arm and shoved Nene down. Nene had position and was moving his feet...but Gasol got the benefit of the whistle on what really should have been an offensive foul. Instead, Nene had to sit and Pau was rewarded with a couple foul shots. Mind you, the Nuggets had just used a 6-0 run to pull to within 91-87. But instead of getting the ball back with a chance to pull to within one or two, they lost their only true center and fell behind by six. That was a huge swing at a critical time. And helped lead to...

Another officiating controversy: After Game 4, Phil Jackson went semi-postal on the refs due to what he felt was unfair and inconsistent officiating. In particular, he blasted the zebras for hitting the Son of Walton with a tech after Luke complained about being elbowed by Nene. Said P-Jax: "It was an off-ball cut, and the referee gave him a technical then subsequently gave him three consecutive fouls out on the floor. That kind of disparity, we don't like in ball games. That's not equal refereeing and those are the things that change the course of games. We don't like that. We want the game to be fair and evenly played." Naturally, the NBA fined him $25,000 for not keeping his trap shut (the Lakers as an organization were also fined $25,000), to which Jackson responded with more vitriol: "I didn't think very good of [the fine] at all. I thought I was very conciliatory, tried to soft-pedal my comments, but that's the league for you. They'll come back and hammer you."

If Phil's right -- and believe me, he is -- then you can probably expect George Karl to get hammered after expressing the feeling that his players got screwed in Game 5: "I'm not going to get fined," said Karl, who proceeded to make comments that almost certainly will get him fined. "... It was a difficult whistle to play, no question about that. Every player in my locker room is frustrated, from guards to big guys. Look at the stat sheet. Gasol goes after at least 20 jump shots and 20 shots to the rim and gets one foul. Our big guys have 16. I don't know. Nene has six fouls; three or four of them don't exist. And it's frustrating when you take one of your big guys off the court for that many minutes. ... I think Stan Van Gundy says it right. In the postgame, we're lobbying for the league to help us with the refereeing. And this is too good a series. It's too good of teams competing that we're sitting here just confused by the whistle."

One anonymous Nuggets player -- he requested anonymity ostensibly to avoid being fined, but I'm guessing he was just as afraid of the public backlash -- even accused the Lakers of "buying" the game through those two $25,000 fines: "The Lakers paid $50,000 to win that game. They got their money's worth." Wow. Next thing you know, we'll find out that Ron Garretson was the second gunman on the grassy knoll.

That anonymous Nuggets player: Grow a pair. Seriously.

J.R. Smith: "Smitty" is supposed to provide scoring punch off the Denver bench, but he has yet to offer up more than a weak slap on the road in this series. He scored 8 and 3 points (on combined 3-for-13 shooting) in Games 1 and 2, and last night he finished with only 7 on 3-for-13 from the field and 1-for-10 on threes. That last stat is the one that really bothers me. Why not try DRIVING for a change, Smitty?

That nasty smell? It's your jumper, Smitty.
Chris Andersen: He had a typical Birdmany game -- 2 points, 8 boards and 4 blocked shots in 24 minutes -- but the number that caught my eye was -17. That was Birdzilla's plus-minus score. Now, normally I don't pay much attention to that statistic. However, in this case, it's pretty telling...because (as noted above) the Lakers' big men had their way, particularly when Andersen was subbing at center for the foul-plagued Nene. Guys were scoring over Chris like he wasn't even there, and it became pretty obvious (in case it wasn't already) that the Birdman is best used in relief and NOT as a first option at the five spot. Oh, and also as noted above, he took it in the face from Shannon Brown, which I guess was Shannon's revenge for this:


Update! Lamar Odom: Not only is Lamar dangerously obsessed with candy...he has a personal assistant who BUYS HIS CANDY FOR HIM. His daily candy expense would buy two weeks of groceries for me. Seriously. The diet of an elite professional athlete? Apparently. Thanks to Elvar from Iceland for the link.

Kobe Bryant: He had one of his most efficient games of the playoffs: 22 points on 13 shots to go along with 5 rebounds and a game-high 8 assists. Of course, he also had a game-high 7 turnovers, but that's not why he's here. It's because he some predictably Mamba-like things to say after the game: "It was a big gamble for me coming in, but I wanted to change my approach this game and be more of a decoy. The past couple games they really were loading to my side and I figured I could be a decoy and try to give chances to my teammates." Yes. Trusting his teammates was a BIG GAMBLE. Passing the ball when the opposing defense is loading up against you is Basketball 101, but it sounds like Kobe wants a bag full of extra hands to pat himself on the back with for actually, you know, playing smart basketball instead of continuing to shoot over triple-teams. Yay for you, Kobe.

Labels: Chris "The Birdman" Andersen, Denver Nuggets, George Karl, J.R. Smith, Kobe Bryant, Los Angeles Lakers, officiating, Phil Jackson

Thanks to Dan B. for today's pic.

The Philadelphia 76ers: The Bulls have become a really team to play against in Chicago -- for details, go to By The Horns -- but the Sixers played a little Russian roulette with their playoff seeding by missing 11 free throws, giving up 24 points off of only 13 turnovers and getting outscored in fast break points 20-11...despite the fact that they're supposed to be a fast break team.

Philly has now lost three games in a row -- all to teams below the .500 mark -- and now are only 1.5 games up on the Bulls in what has suddenly become a battle for sixth place. And their end-of-season schedule goes: versus Cleveland, at Toronto, versus Boston, at Cleveland. Uh oh, huh?

Another interesting Philly factoid: As Doug Collins pointed out last night, the Sixers are 0-4 against the Nets and 1-3 versus the Bobcats this season. That's seven big losses to sub-.500 teams, and those defeats may well end up costing them down this closing stretch. And mind you, nearly the exact same thing happened to them last season, when they finished the year by losing seven of their last 10 games.

Samuel Dalembert: Basketbawful reader Kaan writes: "Hey man how can you miss this? I think Emeka Okafor is losing his edge...Samuel Dalembert is the new Yinka Dare of the league. From The News-Herald: 'In In his last 24 games, Sixers center Sam Dalembert has a 0-to-33 assist-to-turnover ratio.' Well he is 17 for 113 for the season. 17 assists in 78 games...Okafor by the way is 51 for 142." All I can say is: Damn, dawg! You're not even letting the GROUND touch the ball!

Also, you may remember that I recently tried to make a funny about Kaan's name. Well, he corrected me on that count too: "PS: My name is not just 'one letter away from Khan.' Actually it is Khan...but we spell it Kaan in Turkey. 'Khan' is the way English language spell this Turkish word for pronunciation purposes. Actually the word is Turkish and it is spelled either Kaan or Kagan. The 'g' in between is not a 'g' actually. There is a letter in turkish called 'soft g'. 'ğ'. Anyway enough linguistics. But I wanted to make clear that I indeed have a very cool name. Unfortunately it is not very uncommon in Turkey." Thanks for teaching us something new, Kaan, er, Khan, uhm, you know.

The Sacramento Kings: Have you begun to notice that the Sucktowners end up in WotN pretty much every time they play? But that's what you expect from a team squatting on 16 wins for the season. Kevin Martin missed his fourth straight game with a sore ankle and the Kings suffered yet another sound thumping at home, courtesy of the Rockets. Houston shot 65 percent in the third quarter and 54 percent for the game, scoring 115 points, which is about 17 above their season average. Even the notoriously inefficient Ron Artest lit 'em up for a game-high 26 points on 10-for-18 shooting, including 3-for-5 from downtown. Hey, they say that defense is the first thing to go on a lousy team, and Sacramento gives up the second-most points per game (109.7) and the highest opponent's field goal percentage (48.4), which is probably why they rank dead last in defensive efficiency (112 points given up per 100 possessions).

The Denver Nuggets: Before the game, George Karl intimated that the Nuggets had something to prove. All they proved, however, was that they aren't nearly as good as the Lakers. Team Evil won by 14 points despite shooting only 42 percent for the game, missing 19 of their 24 three-pointers and bonking on nine free throw attempts. It might have helped if Denver had been able to protect their offensive glass, where L.A. killed them 18-10 (of which Pau Gasol had 11). Oh, and Andrew Bynum, who hasn't played a regular season game since people still thought the Iverson-to-Detroit trade might actually work, lit them up for 16 points on 7-for-11 shooting.

George Karl, Captain Obvious: "We probably didn’t play well enough to win." Probably, huh?

The Charlotte Bobcats: Somebody call whine-one-one...the Bobcats need the waaahmbulance...and fast! Why, you ask? Because they're the first NBA team in 12 years to close the season on a four-game road trip, which, considering their 12-25 road record, could have a seriously bad effect on their playoff chances. Gerald Wallace called the scheduling "bad management" and added: "That comes from upstairs from the organization, as much as you hate to say it. You don't want to send your team at the end of the season on a four-game road trip. That's hard for anybody to do, especially for us since we're so young and we're trying to fight for the playoffs."

In case you're confused, Charlotte's arena is reserved for the Charlotte Jumper Classic this weekend...a "pet project" of owner Bob Johnson, whose daughter competes in the event. Said Bobcats president Fred Whitfield: "It's no secret that our owner's daughter is an equestrian and he has a huge affinity for the jumping business. It's just one of the events that he feels strongly about, that he feels should be a part of the whole cultural experience that we offer in this building."

And here I thought people usually got props for putting family first. But I guess that only applies when they take a mid-career vacation retire for 18 months or something.

Advanced statistical fail: As AnacondaHL pointed out: "As of yesterday and today, both Hollinger and Kubatko still show the Suns with a chance to make the playoffs. I will now swallow glass shards covered in asbestos." It's true. Check the links. Hollinger's numbers (which, according to his site, are updated automatically each night) gives Phoenix a 0.8 percent chance while Kubatko's (which proudly states "Results based on the method used by Justin Kubatko to win the TrueHoop Stat Geek Smackdown in both 2007 and 2008") gives them a 0.6 percent chance. I'm sure you'll agree that's pretty amazing for a team that was mathematically eliminated from the postseason a couple days ago. I'm just sayin'.

(Oh, and in case the sites get updated, I took screenshots: Fail 1, Fail 2.)

Lacktion report: Chris provided a very short lacktivity update:

Nuggets-Lakers: In one of the slowest days for lacktion this season, Johan Petro is our marquee lacktator just a few miles away from the movie capital of the world. Denver's least effective big man barely eked out a Voskuhl in 10:59, going 5:4 via four fouls and one giveaway (and a brick) against two rebounds and a made field goal.

Kobe Bryant: Mamba texted every member of the Suns' organization the links to Hollinger's and Kubatko's playoff odds.

Labels: Charlotte Bobcats, Denver Nuggets, George Karl, math fail, Philadelphia 76ers, Sacramento Kings, Samuel Dalembert

I guess Vince had a New Year's Eve party he needed to get to.
This is how much I love you people: I'm defying a wicked hangover to bring you the Worst of the Night. Never doubt my devotion.

The Chicago Bulls: I always say that teams who have to play on the road on a major holiday are usually at a serious disadvantage. That was not the case in Chicago last night, where the Bulls pulled a Rex Grossman against the Magic. Ben Gordon scored 18 points on 17 shots. Derrick Rose had zero assists and shot 5-for-13. Aaron Gray went scoreless (0-for-2) and committed 5 fouls in 15 minutes (and Dwight Howard pushed him around like he was a sack of used cotton balls). Thabo Sefolosha was 3-for-10. The Bulls shot 42 percent and were down 65-38 at halftime...and the game was pretty much over. They've now lost four of five games and are watching .500 slip further from their grasp. Said Ben Gordon: "I think we can play a lot better than we're playing right now." I certainly hope so. Because when Joakim Noah (19 points, 11 rebounds) and Larry Hughes (15 points, 6-for-12) are your top performers, something has gone terribly, terribly wrong.

The New Jersey Nets: The Nets were held to a season-worst 75 points (on 37 percent shooting) by a Pistons team that was missing Rip Hamilton (groin) and Antonio McDyess (ribs), and lost Rasheed Wallace to a foot injury in the first half. Normally you're in pretty good shape when the team you're playing against is missing half its starters. And the Nets might have been if not for...

Vince Carter: Carter went "Vinsane" on referee Derrick Stafford when the call on a second-quareter out-of-bounds play didn't go his way. As a result, he got two quick techs and had to be restrained by teammates and his coach. And if you hear them tell the tale, Vince was the victim. Said Nets coach Lawrence Frank: "Vince thought the ball went off Allen (Iverson) and said something, and that's when he got a technical. That's when the official said something that Vince didn't think was appropriate and he reacted. We felt it was unjust that he got ejected." (Translation: It was the ref's fault.) Added Devin Harris: "The ejection was too quick. Something inappropriate was said, allegedly, but I didn't hear it." (Translation: Aliens are coming. Beware.)


Carter blew off the media after the game, and crew chief Dan Crawford refused a request for a comment from Stafford about what he might have said to Vince. So you can probably file this one under "How Many Licks Does It Take To Get To The Tootsie Roll Center Of A Tootsie Pop?" The world may never know.

The Toronto Raptors: The Craptors dropped their fourth straight home game, marking the first time they've blown that many in a row in Canada since 2006. They're a Nets-like 5-9 at home, they've lost 13 of 17 overall, and at 12-20 they're 12th in the Leastern Conference. And Chris Bosh is pretty bummed about it. "I wish we could wipe the slate clean to be honest with you. I wish we could start over. We definitely have a challenge ahead of us." In other Craptors news, Jose Calderon is an amazing 72-for-72 from the line this season. Yep. I said it. Let the stat curse begin.

George Karl, bad beer machine: After his team won their last game of 2008 to improve their record to 21-12, coach Karl said: "I'm not a champagne guy. I'm a beer guy and some red wine, but I think it's Coors Light tonight. Beer after a win tastes like champagne." I'm sorry. But Coors Light never, under any combination of circumstances, tastes like anything but toilet water strained through dirty gym socks. Not exactly the drink I'd choose to celebrate my 900th career coaching victory.

Let me share a little story with you. A few years back, me and my buddy Statbuster roadtripped to my alma mater for a weekend of rampant drinking. We met up with one of my college buddies, Hew, who was still living in town. At one point, very late in the night, it was Hew's turn to buy a round, and he sprung for a pitcher of Coors Light. Statbuster and I were about five or six sheets to the wind by then, and we STILL wouldn't touch the stuff. Hew, who was working as a student teacher and therefore didn't have a lot of excess spending cash, defended himself by informing us that the pitcher cost him only $2. That was the epiphany-like moment when Statbuster and I realized that once you've graduated from college and can afford decent beer, you lose the ability to enjoy (read that: tolerate) crappy beer, barring special circumstances. (If, for instance, you know somebody tending bar and they can get you as many Pabst Blue Ribbons as you want for free. Most scientists agree that free beer always tastes like Gwen Stefani squeezed it out of her breasts. Look it up.)

The Yao Watch: Basketbawful reader eljpeman left the following comment: "I was reviewing the box scores in Y! Sports, and you can add Luke Ridnour to the list of people that can block Yao. I just hope I don't stat curse the Yao watch!" I hope not either, eljpeman. And for the record, the Bucks had exactly two blocked shots last night...and both of them were against Yao. Wah-wah-waaaaaaah.

The Houston Rockets: Yes, they won. Technically speaking. But it was a hideous abomination of a game that left Rockets players disgusted with themselves and each other. Said Ron Artest: "We've got to play better and that's it. There's so much of the game where we have to play better. To sum it up, that win was not even a win." Added Yao Ming: "I really am not excited about the win. This keeps happening and happening since the Utah game, so I cannot be happy about this." Somebody get Yao some Coors Light and fast.

The Milwaukee Bucks: You know that game the Rockets were disgusted about winning? Well, the Bucks lost it. I'm just sayin'.

The Golden State Warriors: The Thunder were going to get their fourth win of the season eventually, and "eventually" became "last night" thanks to the defenseless non-effort of the Warriors. Oddly, the Warriors have played more road games (21) than any other team in the league this season. And they've lost 17 of 'em. What's worse is that three of their next four games are away from home too. By the end of that stretch, they will have played 24 games on the road and only 14 at home. So, you know, I guess the NBA schedule maker hates the Warriors. Regarding their latest roadkilling, coach Don Nelson said: "I am not crying about the schedule and I don't talk that much about it. There are probably reasons why players don't have the pop some nights and have it other nights. Bottom line is, we had too many guys that didn't have the pop tonight." Which must explain why they committed 20 turnovers and let the Thunder score 14 points over their season average.

The Los Angeles Clippers: They are who we thought they were. I know some of you might be tired of hearing that, but I'm going to keep writing it as long as they keep being who we thought they were. So don't kill the messenger, okay? They lost a revenge game against the team that stole Elton Brand from them, and Brand wasn't even playing. And they lost it at home. The crowd started chanting "Fire Dunleavy!" in the final minute, and Clippers owner Donald Sterling said afterward: "Not one of my better nights. I don't take losing well." Uh, really, Donald? Really?? As Basketbawful reader Mladen pointed out in an email: "Wow, I'm surprised he's still alive then." Wow is right.

The Clips shot 40 percent and committed 18 turnovers that were converted into 25 points by the Sixers. Mike "He won't be the Clippers coach in 2009-10" Dunleavy said: "We just didn't do a good job of seeing the ball and gave up easy baskets. There's a lot of good play out there for us, but there were a lot of mental errors." Regarding a technical foul he picked up in the first half -- his third in the last three games -- Dunleavy said: "I'm trying to protect my players. I see something I don't think is right. When I get them (technicals), I'm right." And therein lies one of Dunleavy's biggest problems: He always, in all circumstances, believes he's right and everybody who disagrees with him is wrong.

Lacktion report: Here's Chris with the last lacktion report of '08:

Nets-Pistons: New Jersey's Trenton Hassell just avoided an epic 13 trillion via a rebound and a foul, while a pair of truly spectacular Mario Brothers developed for Detroit. Walter Hermann spent 15 seconds on the floor, while in possibly the shortest on-court appearance known to date, Alex Acker had a Super Mario of a mere TWO SECONDS.

Bucks-Rockets: Luc Mbah a Moute may hve a cool name, but two steals and a block are all that have kept him from the wrong side of the stat sheet, as his 18:34 of playing time were punctuated by 2 bricks, a turnover, and four fouls for what was a potential +7. However, his Milwaukee teammate Francisco Elson racked up a +1 (giveaway) in 4:51, and Dan Gadzuric avoided another appearance here via two rebounds to negate a potential +1 in 7:21.

Labels: Chicago Bulls, Chris Bosh, Coors Light, George Karl, Golden State Warriors, Houston Rockets, Milwaukee Bucks, New Jersey Nets, Toronto Raptors, Vince Carter, Worst of the Night

I'm not sure, but I think Yao is tryingto indicate that he was fouled.
Tracy McGrady: You'd better sit down for this, because it's going to be quite the shocker: T-Mac left last night's game against the Thunder in the opening minute of the second half after hurting his left knee, which was sliced open during the summer to have "loose bodies" removed. And, even more shockingly, he didn't return.

Said McGimpy: "Tonight I went back to square one, even before surgery, is how my knee is feeling right now. I want to play, man. I want to play. Just to get off to this start, for me personally this is a bad start. To have to play your way through an injury that I've never had before and a surgery that was my first surgery is very frustrating. My game is really based on athleticism, and that's something that I don't have right now. I've never had any relief because I've just been trying to work my way into playing shape and strengthen my leg. I've never been 100 percent. I've just been trying to play, hoping that playing on it will take me over the edge and I don't have any more pain. It hasn't worked in my favor. It's sharp pain. It almost just seems like I never had surgery. I'm feeling the same pain."

Let me say up front that I know exactly nothing about Tracy's surgery or any rehab he's been doing since then, so I fully admit I'm talking out of my you-know-what here. But when I think about T-Mac, I can't help but compare him to Kobe. They're similar players with similar physical abilities and basketball skills. The big difference is that Kobe absolutely kills himself training to become the best player alive. This has been well-publicized. I've never read or heard anything about McGrady pushing limits or breaking personal barriers during the offseason. And, frankly, he doesn't strike me as that type of guy. If Kobe'd had loose bodies removed from his knee, I would imagine he'd bust his butt rehabbing and working out to make that joint stronger than ever. McGrady? I don't think he did that...which is why he's struggling now. I know I might be way off on this. But it's just a gut feeling.

Anyway, like I said last week...you can probably hold off on ordering those 2009 NBA Champion Houston Rockets t-shirts...

The Yao Watch: Egads. A second straight game without having one of his shots blocked. This is almost certainly the result of a reverse stat curse. However, Yao did suffer a left foot injury last night. And yes, that's the same foot he broke last season. It doesn't sound like it's serious...yet. But it sure makes me nervous.

The Oklahoma City Thunder: That's 1-10 now. In case you're keeping track at home.

The Phoenix Suns defense: They gave up 109 points to a Jazz team that was still missing two starters (Deron Williams and Mehmet Okur) and started Jarron Collins at center. So much for Terry Porter's "defense first" philosophy. Uh, Terry. If they're not defending or running, you might as well be coaching a lottery team. And there's a lot of season left, so that's not outside the realm of possibilities.

Shaq: The Big Cactus battled foul trouble all night and finished with 9 points on 3-for-11 shooting and one lonely rebound. Yes, you read that correctly. Shaq had just one board in almost 32 minutes of PT. (The only other time that happened was March 29, 1999, against the Vancouver Grizzlies. However, that was during Dennis Rodman's short stint with the Lakers...and Rodman grabbed 17 rebounds.) Said the Diesel: "I had two quick fouls, so I had to go to my finesse game." Here's the problem with that: Shaq never had a finesse game. And it showed. Even worse, Shaq had three shots blocked, including back-to-back swats by Andrei Kirilenko in the fourth quarter. You can watch all three blocks here.

Another quick note on Shaq. He was fined $25,000 for verbally abusing officials and not leaving the court in a timely manner when he was ejected Sunday for almost killing Rodney Stuckey. And as an anonymous commenter noted, this wasn't a first for the Big Flagrant. The last time the Suns faced the Pistons, last February, Shaq put Amir Johnson on the floor.


And let's not forget how, back in the 2006 NBA Finals, Shaq almost broke Jerry Stackhouse's nose (for which Jerry went after a little payback a game later). I guess Shaq really likes picking on guards. And Greg Ostertag.

Internal dissent: After last night's loss to the Jazz, Steve Nash said: "We don't really run that well. They're a good running team at home and we're not really a running team at the moment." This comment came just a week after Raja Bell complained about the team not running enough. And it wasn't the first time Captain Canada has sounded tepid on the Suns' new slow-it-down style. Last week, he noted that: "When Shaq plays (well) it's great. We're much more deliberate. I just hope we find the versatility and balance. When Shaquille isn't on the floor, we're not a team that's built for half-court basketball." Shaq, of course, keeps saying that championships are won "inside-out" (Translation: Get the ball to me). Terry Porter says he's fine with his team running...but that's not how he's calling the shots right now. This might just be transition pains as the Suns learn a new brand of ball. But if the team continues to be so inconsistent, you can probably expect continued grumpiness from the :07 Seconds or Less holdovers.

Louis Amundson: Basketbawful readers Garron and Jason K were quick to notice that the 2006 D-League Rookie of the Year had a 19-second Mario against the Jazz.

Jarron Collins: As noted above, he started at center for the Jazz. His line: 12 minutes, 0-for-2, 2 fouls, for a glorious suck differential of +4 (as noted by Basketbawful reader Filip).

The Los Angeles Clippers: They are now 1-9. And eight of those games have been at home. The Clippers have gone straight to suck. They did not pass GO. They will not collect $200. (But Baron Davis will get $65 million over five years.)

Speaking of B-Diddy, he could have tied it at the buzzer, but his turrible three-point attempt had as good a chance of reaching the moon as the basket. Said Davis: "Basically, we were trying to get like a misdirection and get me coming off the wing for a 3. But they read it right. And when I caught the ball, I had two guys on me and almost a second and a half to get a shot up with Tim Duncan -- one of the best defensive players -- standing in my face."

It was just another bad shot in a night full of 'em for the Clips. And coach Mike Dunleavy wants everybody to know that his players are chucking up some ugly ones. "We had some situations on turnovers that were careless turnovers, but the biggest factor to me was shot selection. We probably had 10 bad shots in this game. You can't give that many possessions away and expect to win. Until we get the discipline we need, as far as taking good shots and not making careless turnovers, we're going to struggle." Man...if only the Clippers had somebody to teach and instill discipline in the players. Who's supposed to do that again? Oh. Yeah. The coach.

The Fabulous Oberto: Caleb "the nailbiting Spurs fan of Brisbane" was not pleased by what he saw out of the Fabulous One last night: 14 minutes, 0-for-1 shooting, 1 assist, 1 turnover, 1 foul. Usually, it's a bad sign when your starting center doesn't grab a single rebound and is thoroughly outperformed by backup Matt Bonner (7 points, 4 rebounds and 1 blocked shot).

Steve Novak: He surpassed last Saturday's Mario with an 8-second Super Mario against the Spurs. You keep reaching for the stars, Steve!

George Karl: Yesterday, Denver Stiffs ran a post about how Karl -- surprise, surprise! -- had some rather unflattering thing to say about the recently-departed Allen Iverson: "There are less bad plays, more solid plays. I think the wasteful, cheap possessions that we used to have 10 to 15 a game, they don't exist very much anymore. We have contested-shot charts, bad-shot charts and cheap defensive possessions. I would say that when A.I. was here, we had most games in the teens of contested, tough shots, sometimes in the 20s. And I don't think we've had a double-digit one since (Billups has) been here." And more: "I don't think there's any question coaching a team for many minutes, without a passing and point guard mentality, is frustrating for a coach. Sometimes I saw something, but I couldn't get it done on the court because I didn't have a playmaker out there."

Reading between the lines isn't too had on this one: The team's failure wasnt MY fault, it was ALLEN IVERSON'S fault. So add A.I. to the list of players who have failed Karl, which includes Gary Payton, Shawn Kemp, Ray Allen, Sam Cassell, Glenn Robinson. (Note that three of those players won championships without Karl.) I'm sure Carmelo Anthony and Chauncey Billups will be added to this list some day.

The American legal system: From Yahoo! news: "A homeless man has been sentenced to nearly four years in prison and ordered to pay more than $101 million for starting two fires, including one that burned more than 163,000 acres in California two years ago." I get the jail time and, in fact, think the duration is a little short. But, seriously, what's the point in sentencing a homeless man to a $100+ million settlement? What does it accomplish? You might as well force him to remunerate in Wonderflonium or Space Gold. Here's a little reality check, Judge Whoever. If that man could pay back even $100 -- let alone $100 million -- he wouldn't be living in a cardboard box and eating out of dumpsters. But I'm sure this steep sentencing will scare other transients from starting fires in the future. Anyway, on the subject of the American legal system...

Mark Cuban: The latest scandal -- accusations of insider trading -- probably has him yearning for those halcyon days when all he had to worry about was keeping bloggers out of his locker room. Of course, Cuban, as always, remains defiant.

Kobe Bryant: He drank the last cup of coffee without making a new pot. AK Dave: "IF YOU KILL THE JOE, YOU MAKE SOME MO!! YOU KNOW THAT, BABY!!!!"

Labels: George Karl, injuries, internal dissent, Los Angeles Clippers, Oklahoma City Thunder, Phoenix Suns, Shaq, The Fabulous Oberto, Tracy McGrady, Worst of the Night, Yao Watch

Toronto Raptors: This is from Basketbawful reader Colin. "Pretty sure you are going to put them there, but after what I saw tonight I just wanted to make sure. The Toronto Raptors. (I'm a Raptors fan, hurts to say this.) Not only were they the FIRST team to be eliminated from the playoffs this season, but the ATLANTA HAWKS have done better than them in their series against a BETTER TEAM than the Raptors lost to. Thats not right."

Well, it's hard to fault the Raptors too much, because they clearly lost to a suprior team. However, I can't help but wonder why the Magic were superior. On paper, Toronto should have been a pretty equal match for Orlando, both in terms of regular season wins and in a playoff showdown. The glaring problems I can see are bad coaching, the point guard two-stepping, the highly inconsistent play of Mr. Former Number One Draft Pick, the lack of production from free agent acquisition Jason Kapono...you know what? Never mind. It's suddenly very obvious that the dinos have problems 'o plenty. It'll be interesting to see what Bryan Colangelo does this offseason.

Special note!! For those of you who misunderstood the previous paragraph, I was talking about the Raptors season as a whole. Not just the five-game playoff sample. So yes, Bargs sucked the entire series, but was inconsistent for most of the season. Kapono mysteriously showed up for the playoffs after not producing for most of the season. Is that clear enough?

Andrea Bargnani: After watching Bargs commit his second foul in the first half minute of the game, my very first thought was, "Oh boy, I'm going to be hearing about this from Shrugz." Sure enough, a few minutes later I had the following e-mail waiting in my inbox: "Bargnani 2 fouls in the first 20 seconds. HAHAHAHHAHA! Too funny." Bargnani ended up playing only 15 minutes and finished with 4 points, 1 rebound, 2 assists, 3 fouls and one badly missed three-pointer that missed the rim entirely. Amazingly, his replacement was even worse...

Rasho Nesterovic: Note that Rasho had been on fire for a month and a half until Toronto's soon-to-be ex-coach Sam Mitchell benched him for Bargnani. And that pretty much killed Rasho's mojo. He was used in relief last night and responded with zero points, 2 rebounds, 1 turnover and 3 fouls in just under 9 minutes of lack-tion.

T.J. Ford: Will T.J. still be the starter next season? Will he even be on the team? If the Raptors want to improve, the answer to those questions really should be "no" and "no." Ford shot poorly (6-for-14) and 4 of the team's 6 turnovers. He looks for his own shot too often, and he tends to force the action -- his action -- when the Toronto offense stalls. In retrospect, Jose Calderon's self-benching might have been the worst thing to happen to this team going into the playoffs.

Marcin Gortat: The Warlock didn't quite play four minutes (3:55), nor did he achieve a three trillion because he grabbed a single rebound. He even failed at failing. (Okay. I'll admit. I only included Marcin because I like typing his last name.)

The Atlanta Hawks Bandwagon: This is from Basketbawful reader Craig. "Mike Bibby the Hypocrite. Sure he can talk a big game about the supposed fair-weather Boston fans, but I would ask him this question: Atlanta was notorious for having very low attendance during the regular season the past couple of years. Now all of a sudden because they made the playoffs, the place is sold out and the fans are actually giving them a homecourt advantage. Where were all those closet fans during the rebuilding years and even this season? Next time you want to talk about another team's fans how about you look at your own first." The only correction I'd made to Craig's rant is changing "the past couple of years" to "the past couple of decades." Seriously. Half of the arena was empty even during the latter half of the Dominique Wilkins era.

The Boston Bench: This is from Basketbawful reader friesenth: "I've totaled the Celtics bench stats from nba.com, minus James Posey who actually contributed in a positive way. Cassell, Big Baby, House and Powe combined for an incredible 3 points, 4 rebounds, 3 assists, 3 fouls, and 1 turnovers in nearly 40 minutes of total playing time. That's the spark you want off the bench. Maybe all those concerns about their depth are finally starting to come true." [Checks the box score] Ummm, uhhhh, ummm...

The Atlanta Bench: They provided a total of 4 points on 2-for-9 shooting, although they did contribute 12 rebounds and 2 assists. Although 9 of those rebounds and both of those assists were from Josh Childress. So were the 4 points. Take Josh out of the equation and the Hawk reserve corps had zero points, 3 rebounds, a blocked shot, and four fouls.

Shaky officiating: Look, I generally hate it when fans cry "foul" after their team loses. But the Celtics got hosed by the officials last night. Boston started out on fire, taking a 16-3 lead, and looked firmly in control of the game. Things started to fall apart when Josh Smith pulled off two amazing blocked shots on Rajon Rondo. So amazing, in fact, that they weren't technically legal. Smith fell on top of Rondo after the first block, and on the second block Smith got all ball and all body...and last time I checked, the body still isn't part of the ball.

Look, I get it. David Stern was on hand for the game, and the Commish likes to see competitive series. In fact, he was interviewed during the game and you could tell -- despite his rictus-like grin -- that he's disappointed the Suns-Spurs and Nuggets-Lakers series are ending early (unless Phoenix pulls off a miracle tonight). And there's no question that, from the referees perspectives, it's better to "let them play," especially when a home team does something spectacular that gets the crowd on its feet.

But those two blocks not only killed the Celtics' momentum, it set a physical tone that clearly favored the Hawks, who got a little more benefit of the doubt from the refs (which resulted in a 33-18 freethrow advantage, although the final four FTs came from desperation fouls by the C's). I'm not saying Atlanta didn't play with heart and fire, and I'm not saying Boston didn't have a fair share of missed shots. But I can't quite shake the feeling that the zebras cast a shadow over this game.

Paul Pierce: He totally boned a layup in the final minute that would have pulled the Celtics to within two and given them a much better shot at stealing the game. Truth got free and just lost the ball on the way up...and his expression as it happened was totally comical, in that tragic "I just lost my team the game" kind of way.

Kevin Garnett: KG, angry and frustrated, hit Zaza Pachulia with an elbow and then tried to play it off as if he was merely trying to explain to a nearby official that he had been elbowed. C'mon, Kevin. We're not stupid. But that move was.

Zaza Pachulia: It's good that he didn't back down, but going face to face with Garnett? And even going so far as to butt heads with KG? That was almost as stupid as Garnett's elbow. Unless Zaza was trying to pull a Robert Horry. (And, in fact, it looked like Kendrick Perkins stepped on the court and might be suspended for Game 5.) It's telling that Garnett, while he didn't back down at all, also didn't escalate things. Maturity...or the fact that he knew he was in the wrong?

David Stern: His reaction to the Garnett-Pachulia showdown was priceless. I haven't seen an old guy in that much distress since watching my buddy's grandpa try to get out of a beanbag chair.

Mario West: He had 19 seconds in Game 4. [Cue the sad music.]

Denver Nuggets: When an eighth seed that barely made the playoffs waits until a first-round elimination game to finally give their all, good things usually don't happen for them (the Suns' Game 4 win notwithstanding). In retrospect, maybe things would have been different if 'Melo had called out his team a little earlier.

Carmelo's critics: It sure seemed like everybody and their brother wanted to label 'Melo's "We quit" rant as a lack of maturity on his part, while Kobe's decimation of his teammates and Lakers management over he summer was just "shaken' trees." Oh, and of course Larry Bird's denunciation of his teammates as "sissies" and "a bunch of women" during the 1984 NBA Finals is the stuff of legend. It's yet another case of the winning double-standard. If you are winning or have won in the past, you get a free pass to blast teammates or roast your team. But if you don't win...if you can't even get out of the first round...well, then, you're an immature malcontent who needs to shut his mouth.

But Anthony was right to do what he did, and his team responded with their best gamae of the series, even if they still lost anyway. It's too bad for them that 'Melo didn't speak up, say, 25 or 30 games ago. Maybe Denver would have solved some of their problems a little sooner.

George Karl, quote machine: "My wish would be that we had four games like tonight and we all could have been happier. I’ve said all along, when they play the right way, they're fun guys to coach." And if wishes were fishes, the world would be an ocean. But as long as you're having fun, coach, we're all happy for you. (But not really.)

Pau Gasol: Dude, I know you're all happy-as-kittens about finally getting out of the first round of the playoffs, but speaking for NBA fans everywhere, we don't want to see your doughy belly. Not even that man-woman in the bottom right of the picture.

Reggie Miller: Ah, Reggie. His awesomeness knows no human boundaries. Matt from Hardwood Paroxysm sent in this very enjoyable exchange between Reggie and Marv Albert from last night's Lakers-Nuggets game.

Reggie: "A lot of questions have been about the Denver Nuggets. This, so far, has been their best half of basketball."

Marv: "Although they have given up 62 points in this first half. And they were down by as man as 13. And are down 10..."

Matt (in absentia): "Definitely, Reg. Best half. Just try not to, you know, speak, Reg."

NBA.com historians: Basketbawful reader Dan from South Australia doesn't appreciate the fact that The League's official Web site is ignorent of its own history. "From this article: 'Toronto made the playoffs in 2000, 2001, 2002 and 2007. They were eliminated in the first round in three of their four postseason appearances. The only time they won a first-round series was in 2001, when they beat the New Jersey Nets in six games, and lost to the Detroit Pistons in the Eastern Conference semifinals in five games.' History is fun, making up history is funner. The only first-round series win was in 2001, but they beat New York 3-2 and then lost to Philly 4-3 (the notorious Carter-needs-to-graduate-before-game-7 series...maybe NBA.com is trying to erase the VC years from memory too)."

Labels: Andrea Bargnani, Atlanta Hawks, Boston Celtics, Denver Nuggets, George Karl, Kevin Garnett, Pau Gasol, Paul Pierce, referees, Toronto Raptors