The Not Answer smiles
Don't expect the smiling to continue if Lionel Hollins
keeps bringing The Not Answer off the bench.

The New Jersey Nyets: Last night, the Nyets (still winless!) had a stretch between the third and fourth quarters during which they went 10 minutes without scoring a single point. During that Festival of Fail, the Nyets went 0-for-11 from the field, committed nine of their 26 turnovers and got outscored by the Bobcats 24-0 in what turned out to be the NBA's longest scoring drought in almost four years. (According to STATS LLC, the last worst drought was when the Bucks went 10:07 without scoring against the Rockets on January. 23, 2006.) Mind you, New Jersey had built a 14-point lead before all that went down. Instead, they ended up losing 79-68. Said Rafer Alston (1-for-8, 3 turnovers): "It was embarrassing." No doubt.

But way, there's more! Yao, er, I mean Yi Jianlian rolled his right knee during that Festival of Fail, and today he has to undergo an MRI to assess the damage to the medial collateral ligament. Sounds pretty bad already, doesn't it?

To add a little insult to all that injury, I should point out that the Nyets lost to a team that shot 32 percent from the field (24-for-74) and six percent from three-point range (1-for-15). Oh, and did I mention the 'Cats are the lowest scoring team in the NBA so far?

Bonus pathetic stat: The Nyets tied a team low with seven points in the third quarter on 13 percent shooting (2-for-15).

Update! Gerald Wallace, Black Hole: From Basketbawful reader Garron: "In four games this season, Gerald Wallace has 50+ shots, 50+ rebounds, 13 turnovers...and 0 assists. Black hole much?" It's true.

The New Orleans Hornets: Another great game for Chris Paul (32 points, 5 rebounds, 13 assists), another loss for the Hornets. Anybody else thing it's going to be a long season in New Orleans? Well, at least the Saints are still undefeated. Anyway, the Hornets biggest problem was on defense, giving up 117 points to the previously winless Knicks, including 40 in the fourth quarter. But wait, it gets way worse than that: Larry Hughes saw his first action of the season...and scored 20 points on 8-for-13 shooting. Meanwhile Julian Wright, the man starting opposite of Big Shot Larry, finished with 2 points on 1-for-3 from the field.

Chris Paul: Great as he may be, the little guy is starting to lose his shit a little. First, he had an on-court run-in with Rajon Rondo on Sunday, after which he allegedly tried to force his way into the Celtics locker room. The NBA is currently investigating the situation. (Paul subsequently denied this on his Twitter page and now refuses to discuss it. Hornets coach Byron Scott said: "I think there comes a point in time in a game or even after a game when somebody says something to you, and the only thing I heard Chris say at the end of the game when we were walking off was that, 'he's going to respect me as a man.' So I don't know what Rondo said, but obviously Chris took exception to it." Obviously.)

Then, last night in New York, Paul and Al Haarrington were scrambling for a loose ball when Paul appeared to hit Harrington in the head. Said Harrington: "When I dove, my head hit his knee. He might have slipped a couple of jabs in there. It didn't affect me. You know I fight in the summer, so it's all good." It may be "all good" for Big Al, but Big David and the league office probably won't keep turning a blind eye if Paul doesn't get a handle on his emotions. After all, the NBA is supposed to care, not bludgeon.

The Utah Jazz: Hey, didn't these guys used to be almost unstoppable in Salt Lake City? They sure got stopped last night, losing 17 points to the Yao Ming-less and Tracy McGrady-less Rockets. How does a team with two All-Star caliber players (Deron Williams and Carlos Boozer) lose at home to a team with zero All-Star caliber players? It was like Night of the Living Roleplayers out there, as eight Rockets scored in double figures (including 17 off the bench from rookie Chase Buddinger). Houston hit 50 percent of their shots and 52 percent of their threes. They also outrebounded Jazz 46-38 and scored 26 points off of Utah's 19 turnovers. They...they just do all the little things it takes to win. It's Moneyball, baby!

Or maybe it's just bad defense by the Jazz...? Said Utah coach Jerry Sloan: "If you're not going to defend, it's pretty tough to have a chance to win. They got on top of the basket, they drove around us, they went up to the ball on the boards and they passed the ball." Added Williams: "We've just got to have more determination to come out and get stops and not let people score. We're just picking up right where we left off. We haven't played a good game of basketball yet." Don't worry, Deron. You have, like, 78 more chances!

Carlos Boozer: Memo to Carlos: If you want to out of Utah, you should know that performances like this (1-for-6 for 7 points plus 4 turnovers) will not help your trade value.

The Memphis Grizzlies: Allen Iverson has arrived...let the losing begin in earnest! The Not Answer made his season debut for the Griz last night, logging 18 minutes (off the bench!) and finishing with 11 points (5-for-9), an assist and 2 turnovers. Oh, and one overtime loss to the previously winless Kings. And guess what? He's already bitching about coming off the bench!

Allen Iverson: If there was any question left that this guy just doesn'ts get it, that question got answered last night. Brought in off the bench most likely because he, like, hasn't been playing or practicing much lately due to a partial right hamstring tear, Iverson is already voicing discontent over his role. And it's been one game! Said The Not Answer: "Go look at my resume and that will show you that I'm not a sixth man. I don't think it has anything to do with me being selfish. It's just who I am. I don't want to change what gave me all the success that I've had since I've been in this league." Allen, Allen, Allen...you do realize that you're playing for the Grizzlies -- the Memphis Grizzlies! -- because nobody else would have touched you with a 10-meter cattle prod, right?

And I'm not sure what he means by "success." Sure, he had one bogus MVP season and made a trip to the Finals during an era in which the East sucked and his teammates inexplicable killed themselves for him despite the fact that he hogged the hell out of the ball. But since then? Scoring lots of points on 40 percent shooting while your teams consistently fail to meet expectations and becoming the biggest NBA outcast not named "Stephon Marbury" doesn't sound like success to me. But what do I know?

The Minnesota Timberwolves: Let it be known that the previously winless Clippers earned their first victory of the season against the lowly Timberpups. But let's face facts here: both teams are who we thought they were. Both squads shot 42 percent and the Clippers won despite giving up 30 points off 20 turnovers. This was offset by a little home cookin', as The Other L.A. Team had a 32-16 edge in free throw attempts.

Believe it or not, Minny had a chance to tie the game at the buzzer, but Corey Brewer chucked up a junk shot with a hand in his face...which coach Kurt Rambis explained thusly: "We haven't yet gotten to the point where we know what play we're going to run with a low-clock situation and no timeouts when you've got to get the ball up the floor. That's my fault that we haven't had the time to work on plays in that situation, but I like the fact that they got back in the ballgame and gave themselves a chance to win." So the team doesn't have a crunch-time play in the playbook? Wow. Coaching fail.

Baron Davis: B-Dizzle is shooting so poorly this season that even Jason Kidd is wrinkling his nose in disgust. Last night's 2-for-10 shooting display is becoming waaaaay to familiar for Clippers fans (should that even be plural anymore?). On the season, Davis is 18-for-54 (33 percent), and 5-for-19 (26 percent) from downtown.

Lacktion report: Despite attending last night's Kings game, Chris still delivered on the lacktion:

Nets-Bobcats: Charlotte's Gerald Henderson sold a few marked up Air Jordans for a 3.85 trillion.

Rockets-Jazz: With Clutch the Bear's squad back on track, Rick Adelman had the chance to light up several human victory cigars, including a familiar face or two. Brian Cook and Jermaine Taylor each punched a 1.5 trillion on the scorecard, while Pops Mensah-Bonsu fathered a foul for a +1 suck differential in that same timespan (1:29), also good for a Madsen-level 1:0 Voskuhl.

Grizzlies-Kings: My second trip to Arco Arena this year produced several figures of forgettability, starting with Memphis's Hasheem Thabeet, who randomly cued up his Arch Rivals cartridge with a foul for a +1 and a Madsen-level 1:0 Voskuhl in a 54-second Mario! Teammate Sam Young made a few youthful mistakes out there, bricking and giving up the rock once each while adding two fouls for a +4 in 3:29.

The home team pulled out an overtime victory and Paul Westphal made sure to provide momentum-changing unproductivity from the beginning, with Desmond Mason jarring the ranks of the rich and famous through a stunning somnambulent stint as a starter of 6.65 trillion!!!! Sean May avoided pure lacktion with a basket, only to earn himself a Voskuhl of 5:3 in 9:16 via four fouls and a giveaway against that field goal and an assist.
Update! Bonus Bawful: From NarSARSsist:

You can't blame CP3. After this happened he was never the same again. I don't think any of us would be.

Speaking of the Hornets. Who the f*** is Bobby Brown and why the hell is he playing? With his shooting you might as well count him as good for like 4-5 turnovers a game. It's really sad when your best shooting performance is 4-for-12 for 33.3%. On a related note, his PER is 5.99, good for 248th in the league. That's out of the 291 players that qualified. A...mazing...

Sidenote about the bawfulness of the Nets and Bobcats. They were +8 with Chairman Yi on the court, and -19 with him off the court. That speaks amazing volumes about the two teams. Even a Man Chair plays better than them.

Also bawful: "Guys can't get bored with the process and get frustrated because they're only averaging 13-14 points," said Alston, who shot 1-for-8 filling in at point guard for Harris. "Yeah, that might be your average right now. So what? In the third quarter, it was bad from a team standpoint." Rafer Alston is talking about the team standpoint? This is the same guy who, in a 4-on-2 or 4-on-1 situation last night, opted not to pass to the Man Chair who was under the basket just so he can challenge his man and take it to the hoop...and get his shot swatted by Tyson Chandler.

How sad are the Jazz right now? Last year, about two months into the season, it looked like they had two potential 20/10 guys in an injured Boozeman and the newly flourishing Paperboy. Now it looks like neither of them are that kind of player.

Houston's David Andersen shot 1-for-7 and, by NBA.com standards, had a -3 efficiency points day. He is averaging 5.5 points and 2.5 rebounds per game thus far. Remember back when everyone was all bubbly about this guy's skills and how Daryl Morey's nerd Elvis ways have landed him the center to replace Yao? Yeah, me neither. If you combine his four games, in 51 minutes he would have produced right around what Yao produces in a single game.

Where is the love for Demarre Carroll? The man put up 15 minutes of hard effort to give us a 5:3 Voskhul. Same thing with Brian Cardinal, who put blood and tears into his 13 minute, 4:2 Voskhul performance. They demand to be honored!

Labels: , , , , , , , , ,

33 Comments:
Blogger BJ said...
Oh noes! Not Chris Paul! Not the poster boy for NBA Nice!
-BJ

CP3's behavior is not that surprising...after all he hit another dude in the man's region during his NCAA days...

Anonymous Lucas said...
From OJ Mayo: “Defensively we just broke down tonight and Kevin had a hot night shooting the ball,” Mayo said. “That happens sometimes. That’s why this is the NBA.” Do they teach these athletes anything about grammar in college anymore?

Anonymous medrawt said...
You know, I love watching Chris Paul, you love watching Chris Paul, everyone loves watching Chris Paul.

But don't forget that during college he punched Julius Hodge in the crotch. Have I matured since college? Absolutely. Was I punching people in the crotch when they frustrated me, during college? No, sir, I was not.

So, you know, I think we have to take it as a given that Paul's not the most even-keeled superstar point guard at the moment. (And if I were going against him in the playoffs? I would absolutely test the waters of trying to bait him into a suspension; just see if it might be possible.)

Blogger Stephen said...
I think the most you can go between quarters without scoring is 2 or 3 minutes.

Anonymous JKain said...
just wanna add: Okafor got blocked by Gallinari!!-not on a dunk-attempt of course,but still...just saying that makes me feel twilight zoned

Anonymous Nolan said...
I'm a fan of Chris Paul and all, but does anyone else have the feeling that if he was Argentinean his constant flopping and sucker hits would overshadow his play?

OpenID NarSARSsist said...
You can't blame CP3. After this happened he was never the same again. I don't think any of us would be.

Speaking of the Hornets. Who the f*** is Bobby Brown and why the hell is he playing? With his shooting you might as well count him as good for like 4, 5 TO a game. It's really sad when your best shooting performance is 4/12 for 33.3%. On a related note, his PER is 5.99, good for 248th in the league. That's out of the 291 players that qualified. A...mazing...

Sidenote about the bawfulness of the Nets and Bobcats. They were +8 with Chairman Yi on the court, and -19 with him off the court. That speaks amazing volumes about the two teams. Even a Man Chair plays better than them.

Also bawful: "Guys can't get bored with the process and get frustrated because they're only averaging 13-14 points," said Alston, who shot 1-for-8 filling in at point guard for Harris. "Yeah, that might be your average right now. So what? In the third quarter, it was bad from a team standpoint." Rafer Alston is talking about the team standpoint? This is the same guy who, in a 4 on 2 or 4 on 1 situation last night, opted not to pass to the Man Chair who was under the basket just so he can challenge his man and take it to the hoop...and get his shot swatted by Tyson Chandler.

How sad are the Jazz right now? Last year, about 2 months into the season, it looked like they had two potential 20/10 guys in an injured Boozeman and the newly flourishing Paperboy. Now it looks like neither of them are that kind of player.

Houston's David Andersen shot 1/7 and by NBA.com standards, had a -3 efficiency points day. He is averaging 5.5 points and 2.5 rebounds per game thus far. Remember back when everyone was all bubbly about this guy's skills and how Daryl Morey's nerd Elvis ways have landed him the center to replace Yao? Yeah, me neither. If you combine his 4 games, in 51 minutes he would have produced right around what Yao produces in a single game.

chris - Looks like you got your money's worth for the Grizzlies - Kings game. Randolph only had 1 assist; all is right with the world again. Kevin Martin singlehandedly scored 4 times as many points as the rest of the starters combined. I wonder when the last time something like this happened was. Maybe Kobe's 81 against the Craptors? "It wasn't a must win, but it was a much needed win," Martin said. "We had great fan support tonight. You always want to show what kind of team you have on opening night." Clearly Martin was referring to you.

Where is the love for Demarre Carroll? The man put up 15 minutes of hard effort to give us a 5:3 Voskhul. Same thing with Brian Cardinal, who put blood and tears into his 13 minute, 4:2 Voskhul performance. They demand to be honored!

Blogger HoopBlah said...
FWIW Rondo is a bitch for doing all that shit-talking as the 5th best player on his team. I don't fault CP3 for being frustrated. He's probably the got the biggest disparity in how good he is and how awful his team is. And he's not the only player in the league who takes swipes in frustration. That said, he's a high-profile player and that's on him. He's got to grow up and behave like an NBA ambassador on the court.

Did I mention Rondo is a bitch? He clearly bumps Paul while he's shaking hands with Pierce.

Blogger Junior said...
By first action of night, you meant first start of Larry Hughes, right?

because he played last game 39 minutes off the bench


but i'm still have doubts if it's better to play with Big Shot Larry or Jared Jeffries in your starting five...(btw, Jared was a starter before last night game, and now he logs less than 5 minutes)

Anonymous Less inflammatory Name said...
Poor Grizzlies.....poor poor Grizzlies....if Iverson wasn't such an idiot, he'd realize he's the whole bench for the team....even Z-Bo had a good game last night.

Captcha: stfulu which basically is what Kevin Martin said to Memphis.

If Kev-Mart was on a good team, how much could he score?

Blogger chris said...
NarSARSist: The evening was supposedly a sellout, courtesy of the "Sellout 09 Committee"...which included the Maloofs, so the hilarious sight (photographed by yours truly) of a jersey that said "MALOOF 09 SELLOUT", which has an entirely different implication!

Of course, the barn ended up being only 85-90% full, and I was able to buy tickets on Sunday, but what do I know.

K-Mart's big scoring night had to be the most subtle run to 40+ points I've seen in a while, if only because Z-Bo was the most visible scorer on both teams, followed by the Not-Answer. (Then Z-Bo fouled out in overtime, woops...)

Carroll and Cardinal have essentially "unofficial" Voskuhls as they are not centers (where the stat especially applies), though I wonder how much sucktitude it measures outside the realm of the big men. (Kinda like how in hockey, +/- has completely different implications for scorers and defensive players...)

Blogger Dan B. said...
ESPN's DJ Gallo has a great mini-article on the main page of ESPN Page 2 right now. Allow me to quote:

J.J. Redick will soon be releasing a rap album.

And ... thank you. I'm done here. That's the joke. (Oh. Really?) Okay, I'm being told by my editors that I need to meet a certain word count. So let me do that by helping Redick out. The article says he has yet to pick a rapper name. I think he needs a name that will show he has a knowledge of rap history. You know, to build up his cred. Here are some options.

• LL Cool JJ: With a name like that and his notebooks full of poetry, no female (who is a Duke grad) would be able to resist him.

• Heavy DNP and the Boys: What's a better way to spend time on the bench than thinking up new lyrics?

• DukePac: A respectful nod to 2Pac. And if the rap career doesn't work out, it could be spun off as a political action committee for Republican candidates.

• 41 (Per)Cent: That's right, J.J. Redick has shot 41-percent from the floor in his career. You think you can step to this? (If so, please don't put a hand in his face or he might miss.)

• Run ACC: A nod to the rap titans and his four-year reign atop the Atlantic Coast Conference.

• Notorious P.P.G.: Let's just say you want the 11th overall pick in the draft, a shooting guard, to average more than 5.6 points a game in his career.

• Redickulis: Don't tell me you wouldn't buy tickets for a tour featuring Luducris and Redickulis. That would be more entertaining than another early Duke exit in the NCAA Tournament.
-- DJ Gallo

OpenID NarSARSsist said...
Maybe instead of bulletin board material, coaches will make their teams listen to Reddick to fuel their anger before games against the Magic.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
I almost dropped Yi for Reddick. Almost. Fantasy basketball makes me slightly dumb.

Hey, no mention of the Thunder's 6 assists game the other night...Come on or that's just too easy for you to pick on, Mr Bawful?

Blogger CassavaLeaf.com said...
hope that wasn't a shot to B. Cardinal

he's a proud Boilermaker

OpenID NarSARSsist said...
chris - I suppose we need a new measure then for each position? Maybe something like assists + points < turnovers + fouls for a PG? Points + Rebounds + Assists < turnovers + fouls + misses for swingmen? I think the Voskhul should still be used for power forwards, considering that if you're a 6'10" big dude, and you didn't really score or pull down board, you must really have not been trying. Even the new breed of super versatile PF like Odom, Garnett, Sheed, and Jamison still give you production in those areas after all.

Blogger chris said...
NarSARSist: Or, as you've suggested, just apply the Voskuhl more liberally. I wonder if there's a way to adjust the searches at Basketball-Reference to generate Voskuhl ratios, based on our simple formula...

After all, if you have more turnovers/fouls than positive stats, I think that reflects badly on ANY player, though one could argue that the Madsen-level Voskuhl doesn't really quantify suckage.

OpenID NarSARSsist said...
chris - I never thought of the Madsen-level Voskuhl as suckage. I just thought of it as a hilarious Mario Voskuhl. Speaking of Voskuhls, Mr. Poor-Man's-Mutombo Thabeet has 9 fouls, 1 turnover, 8 boards and 2 points. If we ignore his blocks, he's right there at borderline Voskuhl level averages. This bears monitoring through the season.

Blogger Dima said...
bawful-

Is it or me or are there an unusual amount of players this year that came back in great shape? And these aren't your typical "work ethic" guys. Im talking about the likes of Zach Randholph, Baron Davis, and a bunch of others...What's going on? Is it the tough economic climate that has these taking their impending contract years more seriously?

Blogger Dima said...
Oh and I forgot to mention Q-Rich, who is suddenly more chiseled than a greek g0d

Blogger lauripost said...
Hey, Bawful..
In next wotn you HAVE TO give some bawfullove to Charlie V..He's making Joe Dumars look very,very smart..

Blogger chris said...
NarSARSist: Nice way to look at it. :D

Speaking of Marios, a question: Josh Boone is listed as having a sub-minute (but no definitive time) stint on ESPN in the Nets-Bobcats game, but no other source gives him any credit for appearing. Super Mario Galaxy we missed?!

BTW, since I don't think blocks count in the Voskuhl metric, just basic negative stats vs. boards/points...I could see him eventually generating a slight Voskuhl ratio all season long. (Yes, I'm keeping track of Voskuhl ratios all season, just as I hopefully will do so for all lacktion. What an undertaking.)

Dima - Well, Z-Bo looked less fat with the Grizzlies last night than he did with the Clippers in February, that's for sure...I was confused, especially as he topped his new look with a decent offensive performance.

Then the baby cubs collapsed after his foul-out and all was right in the world again.

OpenID NarSARSsist said...
Dima - I propose that Q-Rich is looking good from moving all that furniture from city to city. Considering how much stuff he must have to haul every time he gets traded, is it any surprise that he's now chiseled? Interestingly, all three of those guys have a Clipper connection this offseason. Maybe getting hope renewed from leaving the Clippers/Clippers drafting Blake Griffin has steroidal effects?

Blogger chris said...
NarSARSist: TWO words - Lamar Kardashian.

Two more words: Bill Walton.

But then this theory doesn't seem to apply to Elton Brand...

Anonymous your favourite sun said...
After seeing last night's game I can understand why Gerald Wallace doesn't want to pass it to his teammates. That seriously may have been the worst regular season NBA game I have ever seen. Wallace was the only one who looked deserving of an NBA contract, like he had wandered into the middle of a summer league game or something. The teams combined for 23 assists versus 44 turnovers. The Bobcats three point specialist, Vlad Radmanovic, clanked three treys when no one was within fifteen feet of him. Their defensive specialist, Nazr Mohammed, missed three shots and committed two unnecessary fouls in two minutes of playing time(someone should create a term called "The Jerome James" to define such performances). The best player on the Nets, Brook Lopez, was getting boxed out by point guards and didn't complete a single pass to a teammate until the fourth quarter. He finished with zero assists against seven turnovers, but at least he had the decency to stat pad in the fourth quarter, which is good because he's on my fantasy team.

Really, this post should just show a screencap of that game's box score as the worst of the night. No commentary would be necessary.

Anonymous your favourite sun said...
Oh, right, and I should mention that Josh Boone did appear. It was for the last 0.9 seconds of the first half. No, I'm not kidding. He had less than one second of playing time. Somebody should make sure he gets his "game played" officially listed because some sources, like Yahoo!, are not granting it to him.

Anonymous your favourite sun said...
One last thing, how was Sean Williams left off the lacktion report? In eleven minutes, he amassed zero points on zero shots, one offensive rebound, none defensive, three turnovers and three fouls. It's like Jason Collins never left New Jersey!

Blogger chris said...
your favourite sun: That offensive rebound kept him off the sheet, sadly. Hopefully he'll stay off the glass next time!

Blogger Wild Yams said...
Are the Jazz in real trouble or is it just early season jitters? If they're gonna get blown out at home by a Rockets team that's missing both All Stars, then they're probably gonna be in danger of missing the postseason this year. Carlos Boozer is such a millstone around that team's neck right now. They've got to move him for something soon or else just write off this season. You can't have one of your team leaders and best players knowing that he's not long for the club like that. That has got to decimate morale.

Anonymous grover said...
@your favourite sun:

Hear hear!

If you give me the tradeoff between 14 rebounds per game - nearly tops in the league - plus 2 steals and a block, I will gladly accept that Wallace is below the league average of 1.4 assists for forwards.

Good Lord, this team is ugly.

Blogger Sturla said...
Stat curse: In the final minutes of the Knicks-Hornets game, Chris Duhon goes to the line for two. The commentor goes on raving about how Duhon is 14 of 14 from the free throw line this season, and of course the moment he finishes that statement, Duhon bricks his first shot.

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