Clippers fail
Stop looking so surprised. The Clippers define fail.

I couldn't help but spit up a little when I read this part of Bill Simmons' 2009-10 NBA preview:

The Clippers are going to be good. The parts fit. They have size, shooting and rebounding. They can play fast or slow. Their best player (Baron Davis) is motivated again. They have the Gordon/Griffin combo, only the NBA's best young inside/outside combo. They have a bench. They have cap flexibility (only $36 million committed next season). This is a playoff team. I'm telling you. And as I've written many times, Clipperland remains the most logical 2010 LeBron destination on paper. It's true.
Mind you, this is the same guy who wrote an open letter to Blake Griffin warning him about the dangers of playing for the Clippers. His exact words:

Run. Just start running. Run for your life. Run like the star of a horror movie. Don't turn around. Run and keep running.
Well, Simmons was right to warn Griffin (and laughably wrong to predict they'll be good)...because this year's number one overall draft pick will miss up to six weeks weeks with a broken knee cap:

Griffin apparently broke his kneecap during the Clippers' final exhibition game against New Orleans last Friday, perhaps after a dunk that left the power forward wincing in pain. The team initially said Griffin only had a sore left knee, making him questionable for the opener, before revealing the break.
Mind you, "back in six weeks" does not mean "back to 100 percent in six weeks." For the last time: Can we all just stop being surprised when this stuff happens to the Clippers?

Bonus quote: If you check out Kevin Arnovitz' season preview at ClipperBlog, you'll notice the following quote from yours truly in the "No You Can't" section: "The best thing the Clippers can say about the last 25 or so years is 'At least some terrible hell beast hasn't risen from the sea and eaten our team.' Yet." See? Even a month ago when I wrote that line, I already knew they are who we thought they were...

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21 Comments:
Blogger Sean said...
Blake Griffin and Eric Gordon being the best young inside/outside duo before Griffin even starts a game is lol funny.

Blogger 49er16 said...
See if Griffin was drafted by Sacramento, he would only be breaking his arm while lifting weights on an excersise ball.......

Blogger zyth said...
it is all Kobe's fault

Anonymous mumpe said...
You failed to mention that in the same article, Simmons praises Blake Griffin and adds "(Note: Please don't e-mail this paragraph to me in three weeks if Blake is rolling around on the floor holding his right ankle. Thank you.)"

They are, after all, who we ALL thought they were.

Blogger chris said...
mumpe: We don't HAVE to wait three weeks, alas!

Blogger senormedia said...
Too bad. I was actually a little bit looking forward to seeing (on TV) some Clips games just because of Griffin.

Blogger Apocalypse34 said...
In fairness to Simmons predicting the Clips to be something other than who we thought they were, he did end the Griffin piece with this:

"(Note: Please don't e-mail this paragraph to me in three weeks if Blake is rolling around on the floor holding his right ankle. Thank you.)"

Ok, so it didn't take 3 weeks and it was his knee but still.

Anonymous kazam92 said...
I cant blame simmons. The Clippers ALWAYS look good on paper.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
"I cant blame simmons. The Clippers ALWAYS look good on paper."

Yeah...toilet paper.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
LAWL

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Agree with zyth. Kobe's fault.

A Pheonix Suns fan,
-AnacondaHL

Anonymous Stockton said...
"the parts look good"

They can use some spare parts... to replace knees, ligaments and other hardware

Blogger Buck Nasty said...
AHHHHHHH! WHY? WHYYYYYY?

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Apart from the misspelling in that ad, isn't the Clippers season opener tonight? Did they mean home opener? Even that would be just a technicality since they're in the Staples Center tonight anyways.

Anonymous Matt G. said...
I had never in my life watched a Clipper's game before tonight. Even though they made a comeback on the Laker's, losing by only seven points I cannot emphasize how laughable their play is. Aside from Eric Gordon nobody looked like a winner on that team. Watching Chris Kaman grab a defensive rebound and then immediately throw the ball at B-Diddy's ankles in what I assume was a pass really summarizes well for me. BUT I loved the way Gordon played: efficiently, with hustle and with a willingness to pass the ball. He deserves better teammates and I believe he will be an All-Star in this league more than once.

Anonymous Tig Bitties said...
Mr. Bawful, you fail. The picture of the Clippers opening night on October 28, vs. the Suns is correct. The Tuesday game was the Laker's 'Homecourt', while on the 28th, it will be the Clipper's 'homecourt'. BAM

I still love you though.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Let us all just let it simmer, someone named "Tig Bitties" misses the entire point of the "Pheonix" picture. Mmm. Delicious irony stew.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Had Blake Griffin been healthy his NBA debut wouldn't have been on the 28th, it would have been on Tuesday. The ad was clearly selling the idea that the first Clippers game of the season was against "Pheonix," so what exactly did we watch last night...

Blogger Joshua said...
Hey blog guys, thanks for stealing my image that I posted on the SomethingAwful forums. Now the whole world can see my skills at drawing a yellow circle in MS Paint over Clippers typos!

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Goons represent brah. Goons taking over the basketball blogosphere. Goons taking over the Internet. Goons taking over the world.

Blogger BJ said...
PSA to anybody attending a Clips game. If at any point during the game you hear -- however faintly -- the theme from Jaws . . . run. Just run for your life.
-BJ

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