pacers fans
Pacers fans are 100 percent pure awesome.

The Indiana Pacers: Amare Stoudemire scored 49 points on 17-for-21 from the field and 15-for-15 from the line. Yeah, he was on fire...but shouldn't the Pacers have swarmed him with double teams? Or maybe put a hand in his face? Over half of Stat's shots were jumpers...and he was 7-for-11 from outside. He also had six dunks and four layups. So, you know, put "protect the rim" on the Pacers to-do list as well.

Pacers coach Jim O'Brien dismissed the idea that he should have instructed his team to double up on Stoudemire. "When you surround somebody, it's damned if you do, damned if you don't with Phoenix." True...but I would think that, at some point, you'd try to get the ball out of the hands of the guy shooting 80 percent. But what do I know?

A few thoughts on the Suns: People who thought the Phoenix offense died when Mike D'Antoni walked out the door were sadly mistaken. Their scoring is down a few points this season, but they're still leading the league (106.4). They're also shooting a blistering 55.2 percent from the field. And, according to John Hollinger's team statistics, their effective field goal percentage is just over 60 percent. By contrast, their opponents are shooting only 44 percent...which gives them a whopping 11.s percent differential in FGP. That's five percentage points higher than the next best team (in terms of differential), which is Boston (at 6.0).

There's a lot of season left to play, but the early results seem to indicate that Terry Porter's more disciplined approach is making the Suns an even more efficient team. Now if they could only do something about those turnovers...

Amare Stoudemire: Basketbawful reader Garron sent in this video (via Ball Don't Lie) of Amare Stoudemire flopping like a fish after getting brushed by Dick Diener's nephew. As Garron put it: "You are NOT allowed to have a major dunkage, go to the whole King Kong chest bump, then fly half the width of the court after a backup point guard touches you. 49 points was great for amare. Flopping, is not." Agreed.


Shaq: The Big Hacker only managed to stay on the floor for about 12 minutes due to foul trouble. He had 3 points and 3 missed free throws.

Maceo Baston: The second-round pick out of Michigan had a one trillion for the Pacers.

Sam Mitchell: I'm not a big fan of Sam's coaching, nor am I particularly impressed by his assessment of why his Raptors coughed one up at home to an undermanned Pistons team. "I don't think they did anything necessarily, we just couldn't guard their twos and threes." He's right! Now, if only they had a coach who could draw up some defensive schemes to stop that...

Jermaine O'Neal: The Drain had another rough night on the offensive end, scoring only 8 points on 3-for-10 shooting and committing a game-high 3 turnovers...only two fewer than Detroit had all night. His frustration became pretty obvious in the third quarter when he got called for a technical foul for ripping his headband off while arguing a non-call. After the game, O'Neal said: "I knew it was going to be a process but I didn't know I was going to be four games in and still looking for my rhythm. You want to do well, you want to dominate at your position, it just really hasn't worked out for me yet." It certainly hasn't. But then again, when was the last time the Drain was dominant at any position? Other than the "suck" position, that is.

Jason Kapono: Toronto's super shooter went 0-for-6 from the field and 0-for-3 from the other side of the arc.

Videotastic extra: From Basketbawful reader CW, via Ball Don't Lie: Allen Iverson, talkin' 'bout practice.


The Philadelphia 76ers: The Sixers got crushed 106-83 by the Miami Heat. Philly shot 37 percent (27-for-72) and committed 25 turnovers (compared to only 11 assists). Andre Miller was 3-for-8, Iggy was 1-for-7, Elton Brand was 4-for-10, and Kareem Rush -- who just a few says ago was complaining about a lack of PT and shots -- was 0-for-3 in his 12 minutes of lack-tion. Frankly, the Sixers were embarrassed by rookie Mario Chalmers, who had a franchise record 9 steals for the Heat. This team has not looked good in the early going.

Mark Blount: He had a season high in rebounds after only four minutes. He had 2. He finished with 5 boards and 4 fouls in just under 18 minutes.

Knicks versus Bobcats: From Basketbawful reader Will C: "I guess you've already seen this but in losing to the Knicks (ahem) last night, the Bobcats made a valiant effort to trump Dallas' double two trillion by coming heartbreakingly close to a TRIPLE THREE TRILLION! Linton Johnson provided an actual three trillion, Nazr Mohammed was 0-for-1 with no other contributions in three minutes, and Shannon Brown's three minutes contained...a personal foul. And nothing else. Wow. The Knicks had a four trillion of their own from Malik Rose, which might go some way to explaining why they were only able to beat Larry's Bobcats by three points. That and Quentin Richardson's 1-for-9, no-assist, six-turnovers 'performance.'" I have only one correction: Rose did not have a four trillion. He avoided that ignominy by committing two turnovers. You go, Malik!

His Airness: According to the game notes in the AP recap: "Bobcats executive Michael Jordan was seated courtside across from the Charlotte bench and enjoyed a first-quarter standing ovation." Yes, I'm sure the New York fans were very appreciative of how Jordan assembled a squad lousy enough for their team to beat.

D.J. Augustin: Brett from QueenCityHoops sent in this picture of Auggie going for a fistful of Chris Duhon's junk. Perhaps he was trying to uncover the secret meaning of the :07 seconds or less offense. The pic is from the The Charlotte Observer, by the way.

Duhon junk

Kevin Durant: Fantasy owners who were expecting Durant to set the league on fire this season must be pretty disappointed so far. He's averaging 18 PPG on 41 percent shooting...a slight step down from last year's 20 PPG on 43 percent from the field. Even his puny rebound and assist numbers are worse. Last night, he was 6-for-15 from the field, which makes him 18-for-50 so far this season at his new home arena, the Ford Center. Way to give your fans a show, Kevin. Fortunately, those basketball-starved Oklahomans have no idea what they're seeing. They'd probably root for you even if you were chucking dirt clods at the basket.

Update! Basketbawful reader David made the following suggestion: "I propose the following watch for the season: Can Durant (6'9") average more rebounds than Nate Robinson (5'9")? Right now Durant is at 3.8 RPG and Robinson is at 4.3. Let the great experiment begin!" The people have spoken! The Durant Watch begins today.

The dreaded trillion [!!]: Basketbawful reader Mark L. wrote in with this tidbit: "Not sure if this is noteworthy or not, but the announcers in the OKC/BOS game are talking about Kyle Weaver not wanting to log another 'dreaded trillion' (as they put it) already this season." Eh? Could it be that NBA players have become aware of our favorite little statistical measure for awful? If so: Awesome. For the record, Weaver avoided the trillion by notching 1 board, 2 assists, 1 turnover and a foul in just under five minutes. For Weaver, that's a victory.

Nick Collison: Watch Paul Pierce just break the boy's ankles.


Now watch Nicky play a little (very little) matador defense on Rajon Rondo. The video's a little chewed up, but you should be able to make out Collison's whiff on the replay.


The videos were provided by Garron.

Minutes watch: Hm. Doc Rivers needed 39 minutes from Paul Pierce and 38 out of Ray Allen to beat the Thunder.

The New Orleans Hornets: They scored only 79 points in a home loss to the Atlanta Hawks. That's not exactly what the Big Easy expects out of their championship hopefuls. A special wag of the finger goes to Peja Stojakovic and his 3-for-13 shooting.

Chris Paul's backup: Mike James gave the buzzing bugs 2 points, 1 rebound, 1 assist and 1 turnover in 11 minutes. It was a signature performance, which should explain why CP3 is averaging almost 38 minutes per game right now.

The Chicago Bulls: It was a good news/bad news night for the Bullies. The good news is that Derrick Rose managed to dish out 7 assists, Ben Gordon caught fire (31 points on 11-for-19 shooting off the bench), and Luol Deng broke out of his slump to score 18 and snare 7 rebounds. The bad news is that the good news did little to alter the craplike play of the rest of the team. Thabo Sefolosha was 0-for-4 in 17 minutes. Andres Nocioni was 1-for-4. Captain Kirk Hinrich had his Phaser set to "suck" (0-for-5 shooting, including 0-for-3 in threes). Joakim Noah and Aaron Gray spent most of the game riding the pine. And Ty Thomas -- whom I can't look at without thinking "We could have had LeMarcus Aldridge, damn it!" -- scored 1 point (0-for-1, 1-for-2) and had 3 rebounds in 15 minutes. That one shot, by the way, was a 15-footer from the elbow. Oh, and he got two foul shots on a drive that should have been called an offensive foul (replays showed that Zydrunas Ilgauskas had pretty good position). Thomas is shooting 25 percent on the season, by the way.

Vinny Del Negro: I'm not impressed with the job he's doing. I can't figure out his rotation, and I'm not sure he has either. I also wasn't impressed by something he had to say in a pregame interview on Chicago Sports Radio a few days ago. When asked whether he calls plays or let's Rose run the show, Vinny said: "Well, I call most of the plays from the sideline. But on the other hand, I want Derrick to make his own decisions, because basketball is instinct." It might not read that bad in print, but on the air it sounded like a man who wasn't quite sure of himself or what he's doing. This was in marked contrast to the interviews Scot Skiles used to give. Skiles always sounded like he knew what was going on and was in total control of his players...even after they had clearly tuned him out. Anyway, I guess what I'm saying is that I have to wonder whether Del Negro can instill his players with any confidence when he can't even do that to fans listening to him talk on the radio.

The Washington Wizards' free throw shooting: I guess they call them "foul" shots for a reason. The Wiz squandered a 14-point fourth-quarter lead and lost to the Bucks in overtime. I'm guessing the 17 [!!] missed free throws had soemthing to do with it (Washington was 34-for-51 at the line).

The San Antonio Spurs: The Los Oldmanos needed a 55-point, 10-assist, 7-rebound performance from Tony Parker to pull out a double-overtime win over the Minnesota Timberwovles. The same T-Wolves who lost to the Oklahoma City Thunder on Sunday. Parker's career game and Tim Duncan's turn-back-the-clock brilliance (30 points, 16 boards) camouflaged a series of dreadful performances by Michael Finley (1-for-9), Matt Bonner (nearly achieved a six trillion), Bruce Bowen (3 points and 4 fouls in 33 minutes), the Fabulous Oberto (2 rebounds and 5 fouls in 30 minutes), etc. The only bright spot for this team is the continuing development of Roger Mason.

The Portland Trail Blazers: The Blazing Ones fell to 1-3 on the season by losing to the still Deron William-less Jazz...who are still undefeated this season even without their starting PG. They're playing hard, they just can't seem to get over the hump. Sadly, Greg Oden -- who was supposed to be their get-over-the-hump guy -- is still out with that foot injury.

Carmelo Anthony: He scored 28 points...on 30 shots. Not efficient. He and Allen Iverson didn't switch bodies before the trade, did they? Update! As Basketbawful reader Ari pointed out: "He wanted to score 44 to honor Barack Obama, instead he honored Woodrow Wilson. Oops. Maybe he shouldn't tell people about these things before he attempts it. That way, IF it happens, he can sound clever after the fact... instead of foolish."

The Los Angeles Clippers: Man oh man. Only the Clips could hold their opponent to 38 percent shooting and lose by 18. Oh, that cackling laughter you hear? That's Elgin Baylor.

Jason Hart: Only 10 seconds of PT...which means a Super Mario!

Luke Walton: Two and a half minutes, one missed shot, and zero-for-everything-else. A bargain at only $5 million a year! Speaking of five-million-a-year bargains, see Vujacic, Sasha.

Update! Wild Yams provided a little extra data on Luke's PT: "FYI regarding Luke Walton's brief glimpse on the floor and lack of contribution last night, he narrowly avoided a Mario due to the 22-0 run the Lakers had over a 6 minute stretch in the 4th quarter. Allow me to explain: the game was really close throughout and the Clippers were even up 2 points with 7:30 to go in the game, but for some reason Phil Jackson had subbed Luke in with about 25 seconds left in the 3rd quarter; however, when the 4th quarter started he was back on the bench and I remember thinking "he's in line for his second straight Mario with that appearance." However, when the Lakers scored 22 straight points to go up 101-81 with about two minutes to go, Phil "emptied the bench" (so to speak) by putting Luke Walton back in so he could avoid the Mario, and with his one missed shot attempt he managed to miss the three trillion as well.

"An interesting postscript to this is that after the game when Jordan Farmar was being interviewed by the TV crews, Luke Walton walked by and playfully bumped into Farmar. Farmar responded by saying "hey Walton, good job playing three minutes tonight." He was clearly just joking with Walton, but this then prompted a couple minute discussion with the TV guy about how people like Luke are adjusting to hardly playing at all. Awkward.

"At least the lack of PT for Luke Walton will presumably prevent the creation of any more stalkers, so he's got that going for him. Which is nice."

Oh, and Silly Bitch of Forum Blue & Championship Gold provided some video of the Walton/Farmar exchange:


Sasha Vujacic: L.A. fans rejoiced when he re-upped with the Lakers for $15 million over the next three seasons. And Sasha has rewarded them the way Brutus rewarded Ceasar for their long and prosperous friendship. The Machine is currently shooting 31 percent from the field, 30 percent from Threeland, and 66 percent from the line. Last night's line: 3 points, 1-for-5, 2 rebounds and 1 foul in 11 minutes and 39 seconds. Say goodbye to your old spot in the rotation, Sasha. But don't worry. Jordan Farmar will be keeping it warm for you.

Brian Skinner: From Basketbawful reader Wild Yams: "Here's a video of Brian Skinner from the Clippers blowing a wide-open dunk against the Lakers tonight, which he then follows up by grabbing Derek Fisher in frustration or embarrassment." Well, in all fairness, Brian has a lot to be frustrated about. Still, watching him blow a dunk when there isn't anybody within five feet of him is pretty funny, and it has the added benefit of making Yao Ming feel better about himself. So, you know, win-win.


Kobe Bryant: He served Peter Griffin some apple juice, but he did not use Peter's Batman glass.

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38 Comments:
Anonymous manic said...
Amare didn't get touched, he got pushed. You can see that guy use his left arm to tip over Amare. Anyway, the Suns aren't going to get the defensive respect they deserve because they still score a lot of points. Better than the Celtics, you will hear no one (except the mighty Basketbawful) put the Suns in the same sentence with the Celts.

Anonymous mpgrulez said...
WOWOWOW where is the daily 'Worst of Kobe'??

Blogger Ari said...
Here's a couple for you:

First was Carmelo's 28 points on 30 shots. He wanted to score 44 to honor Barack Obama, instead he honored Woodrow Wilson. Oops. Maybe he shouldn't tell people about these things before he attempts it. That way, IF it happens, he can sound clever after the fact... instead of foolish.

Second, Drew Gooden's step-back fadeaway 20 footer from the corner that missed everything. Please find a video of that. It reminded me of that brilliant Zach Randolph possession.

Blogger Babyshoes said...
The Blazers may be 1-3, but look at who they've played: 4-0 Lakers, 4-1 Suns, 4-0 Utah, and the one win against an ag├ęd San Antonio. Next up, the 3-1 Rockets. I hate the NBA schedulemakers right now.

Anonymous Baguete said...
Hey, easy on Skinner. How long since he received his last assist? 3 seasons? I think he wanted to seize the moment and forgot to jump. Easy as that.

No words on Kevin Johnson as Sacramento's Mayor? Time for the Kings to move to Vegas?

Blogger Austen said...
Heh, I'm surprised you didn't note that funny moment during the Jazz-Blazers game where one of the players was trying to catch an inbound pass and stuck his right foot out behind him...into Brevin Knight's crotch area. Knight decided to clamp his knees together, so hilarity ensued when that player tried to run in a different direction to catch the inbounds pass. They ended up having to rush the inbound passer back inbonds after the pass just to keep the play going.

Reference: 2nd half, I think. 5 or so minutes to go in the quarter.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
We need to come up with a new word beyond "trillion" that actually emphasizes the real minus effect of having the player in the game, rather than how a "trillion" emphasizes the 0-effect. Turnovers, personal fouls, and missed shots without makes would be counted TOWARDS the title, in addition to requiring 0 points, rebounds, assists, etc. The words "lacktion" and "mario" are too narrow in scope for this bawfulness. Perhaps "suck differential"?

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
ex: Last night, Malik Rose dialed in a four trillion with a +2 suck differential. On election night, Kurt Thomas's potential 12 trillion with +1 suck differential was mitigated by one assist.

Blogger Austen said...
ok, update:

It was Blazers player Blake who stuck his foot out into Brevin Knight's man region, and got caught with his foot in the cookie jar at 5:19 in the 4th quarter of last night's game.

Blogger David said...
I propose the following watch for the season : Can Durant (6'9") average more rebounds than Nate Robinson (5'9")?

Right now Durant is at 3.8 and Robinson is at 4.3. Let the great experiment begin!!!!

Anonymous Trevor said...
The NBA schedule makers definitely deserve a WOTN. Portland plays San Antonio, Phoenix, Utah, the Lakers, and Houston to start the season, while the Lakers and Utah each had Portland, Denver, and the Clippers twice...

Blogger Chris said...
Wow, 51 free throw attempts for Washington? Bet THAT was a fun one to watch ...

Blogger Wild Yams said...
FYI regarding Luke Walton's brief glimpse on the floor and lack of contribution last night, he narrowly avoided a Mario due to the 22-0 run the Lakers had over a 6 minute stretch in the 4th quarter. Allow me to explain: the game was really close throughout and the Clippers were even up 2 points with 7:30 to go in the game, but for some reason Phil Jackson had subbed Luke in with about 25 seconds left in the 3rd quarter; however, when the 4th quarter started he was back on the bench and I remember thinking "he's in line for his second straight Mario with that appearance." However, when the Lakers scored 22 straight points to go up 101-81 with about two minutes to go, Phil "emptied the bench" (so to speak) by putting Luke Walton back in so he could avoid the Mario, and with his one missed shot attempt he managed to miss the three trillion as well.

An interesting postscript to this is that after the game when Jordan Farmar was being interviewed by the TV crews, Luke Walton walked by and playfully bumped into Farmar. Farmar responded by saying "hey Walton, good job playing three minutes tonight." He was clearly just joking with Walton, but this then prompted a couple minute discussion with the TV guy about how people like Luke are adjusting to hardly playing at all. Awkward.

At least the lack of PT for Luke Walton will presumably prevent the creation of any more stalkers, so he's got that going for him. Which is nice.

Blogger Time Intact said...
Carmelo is one hell of a basketball player, but the things he says sometimes are just so stupid it's unbelievable.

I'd love to see an Eddy Curry vs Shaq (in his present state) 1-on-1 match.

"How long since he (Brian Skinner) received his last assist? 3 seasons?" LOL!

Blogger Austen said...
Trevor, it evens out in the end. Yeah, the Jazz have a relatively easy schedule early on, but they have by far the worst end-of-season schedule of any team. They essentially have to play every Western Conference contender (Suns; Spurs; Mavs; Hornets; Lakers; etc.) on the road to end the season. So it does even out. Besides, the Jazz got screwed last year to open the season, having several long stretches of road games (December, anyone?) until January.

Besides, it's not the NBA's fault that golden child Greg Oden can't seem to keep himself off the injured list.

Blogger Wang McMuffin said...
Of note for Philly, they allowed Chris "The Elf King" Quinn to dish 5 assists, grab 2 rebounds and block a shot(WHAT?!) as well as a few points and a steal in seventeen minutes.

...

I need to know who got their shot blocked by the elf. Could there be a worse ego-ectomy? I submit that there is not.

Anonymous AK Dave said...
Since we're talking about the 2-2 (what?) Knicks and their 6th man, I just want to say the following:

Any Nate Robinson rebound over any player is automatically in the "man-type" category.

Likewise, getting blocked by Nate Robinson should result in instant relegation to the D-League for a minimum of 5 games, and permanent ban from the league if you get blocked by him while playing the center position (cough Yao cough!)

He's like a 1:2 scale verson of Charles Barkley on meth.

Blogger Silly Bitch said...
here's the video of farmar calling walton out on his 3 minutes of play time - if only there had been a camera on luke's face at the time then we wouldn't have to imagine what his saaaaad faaaaace looks like

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NlRdyJdhrGs

Anonymous Al James said...
Pistons may be all kinds of awesome this season. If you think about it, they are playing shorthanded in the backcourt (Billups/Iverson) and frontcourt (McDyess). Assuming Dice gets his buyout and resigns next month, the Pistons may do just fine this year, just fine.

Blogger Silly Bitch said...
... or maybe it wasn't a "sad face" for walton...

perhaps just his "owned" face.

Blogger chris said...
Hey Bawful, have you done a feature on Awful Tangentially Basketball-Related Video Games?

http://www.mentalfloss.com/blogs/archives/19911

Bill Laimbeer's Combat Basketball sounds like a MAN-type video game right there.

Anonymous Vic said...
How is it you manage to mention Kobe all time ,but never point out the days he actually does poorly (Yesterday)
You also seem to be trying to avoid mentioning Ray Allens lost jumpshot. Can you please explain to me why he is even considered part of Bostons big three anymore.

And what about the Celtics first three quarters...they barely had the lead against Oklahoma

Blogger Basketbawful said...
manic -- Travis Diener shouldn't knock Sun Tzu down. Period.

mpgrulez -- Fixed.

ari -- Fixed the 'Melo entry. Video of Drew?

babyshoes -- You make a sound point. But being the Team of the Future means winning some of those toughies.

baguete -- But I love KJ! How could I use him in a Worst Of??

austen -- Man! Any chance you can get video?

david -- It's official. The watch is on.

trevor -- Yeah, when I saw that the Lakers got two shots at the Clips so early, I was like, "Say whaaaaaa...?"

chris -- Fun like watching testicular cancer surgery, yeah.

Yams -- Updated.

time intact -- I'd rather see Shaq and Curry in a pie-eating contest, like from "Stand By Me."

wang mcmuffin -- If you can find out who the elf blocked, we'll give him special mention tomorrow.

ak dave -- You have a point. Man, if Nate was five or six inches taller, he'd be dangerous. Just ask Yao...

silly bitch -- Updated, with a link to your site.

al james -- Funny, I was thinking the same thing. Although sometimes teams rally BECAUSE of trades like this...it doesn't always maintain itself, though.

chris -- The funny thing is, I was going to do a piece on Shaq-Fu a couple weeks ago and forgot. This will have to be a post, probably a new "Worst Evers."

Blogger Basketbawful said...
vic -- Kobe played poorly for him, but both teams were so dreadful his line didn't really stand out. I was ALL READY to jump on Ray-Ray, but then I watched him drop that 11-for-15 night on the Rockets and I had to pull back. As for last night's game against the Thunder...if you had watched the energy they expended in Houston the night before, you would excuse them for being a little lackluster the very next night in back-to-back road games.

Anonymous Arlen said...
It'd be great to add to the WOTN watch-list any celeb (or quasi celeb) shots during broadcasts which just end up as incredibly stupid or akward.

I'm in Europe so I don't get many games, but I remember I think in '04 at some game I saw McCain with his wife at a game and they got airtime "being one of the casual civilians" at almost every come-back-from-commercial. But the wife seemed to hate it, and when the camera would turn on they would both sit there clapping and laughing and pretending to talk about something, and then the wife thought the camera was off them and stopped clapping and started acting like she was complaining about something, only to have mccain obviously see a person behind camera go 'no no keep clapping!' and they both immediately started smiling and clapping again...

... great times, great times ...

Blogger Austen said...
basketbawful - I'm afraid I have no way to record video off NBA.com's broadband League Pass. I might be able to do a screen capture of the sequence, but where do I send it?

Anonymous Ruben said...
Maybe it is my limited NBA access at the moment, but the only players I have heard endorse or celebrate Obama winning have been Stevie Franchise, Lebron and Carmello. Maybe I am being a racist for expecting NBA players to have supported the black guy (is that part of the Bradley Effect?), because, after all, even the Mario Wests of the league are all going to get taxed more. Tough call! Should we expect another lockout season if when Obama takes over the office?

almost all famous people like to put in their mindless 2 cents. But after the likes of Lebron and Kobe wussing out on speaking out against China on the Dafur thing, I am not surpised at the utter lack off balls by the players and the NBA. I mean, this is a league that urges you to vote every single day for months in advance for the all-star game, and doesnt the NBA celebrate Black History week? It just doesnt celebrate history when it happens.

Not that I want sportsplayers to weigh in their opinions, but it seems odd. Does anyone have any perspective on this?

Anonymous Greg said...
Hi, I was browsing teams on Yahoo and noticed this and thought you may appreciate it. Through the first two games, Utah's rookie center Kosta Koufos was leading the team in three point percentage, shooting an astounding...0%!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/26248405@N08/3008465205/

Anonymous Vic said...
whoa, talk about a quick reply I REALLY wasn't expecting that. I must admit I agree with most of what you said but at least mention how poorly Peja Stojakovic played last night. 3-13 and the hornets team losing to Atlanta...Ouch (And yes I still refuse to think of Atlanta as a truly competive basketball team)

Blogger Basketbawful said...
anacondahl -- Can you provide a Hollingeresque formula/description of the suck differential? If so, I'll make it an official Word of the Day and use it in future posts.

arlen -- I do try to include photos, when available, of celebs acting the fool at games. Last year I ran pics of Nicholson, Bill Belichick and I believe Matt Damon...among others. I'll keep looking, and of course I always accept submissions.

austen -- If you get the pic, send it to basketbawful@yahoo.com.

greg -- That's hilarious. It will get a mention next time Koufos does something non-memorable.

vic -- Actually, if you go back and check, the Hornets got the following mention: "They scored only 79 points in a home loss to the Atlanta Hawks. That's not exactly what the Big Easy expects out of their championship hopefuls. A special wag of the finger goes to Peja Stojakovic and his 3-for-13 shooting."

Anonymous Anonymous said...
"(And yes I still refuse to think of Atlanta as a truly competive basketball team)"- Vic

Good one Vic, the Hawks have beat 3 playoff teams (including two division champs on the road) and is putting up some of the nastiest D in the league so far.

Anonymous AK Dave said...
Captain Kirk Hinrich had his phaser set to "suck"

LMFAO! The Star Trek references continue...

word verification: cunsup sounds... dirty ><

Blogger Wang McMuffin said...
Game logs put the elf king's block against Willie Green at 10:11 in the 2nd. I'm desperately trying to come up with photo or video evidence to prove that it isn't a scorekeeping error but no dice so far.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
suck differential. noun. An additional descriptor for one trillion that not only describes a player's statistical insignificance, but quantifies the player's net negative effect for their team. Can be abbreviated as "suck".

Usage example: In Wednesday's Bobcats-Knicks game, Nazr Mohammed's 3 trillion with +1 suck differential was upstaged by Malik Rose's 4 trillion with +2 suck. How much money do they make again?

In order to obtain the suck differential descriptor, a player must first earn a trillion in the standard "positive" categories: (0 points, rebounds, assists, steals, blocks, FGM, 3PTM, FTM). In addition, each FGA, FTA, TOV, and PF increases the suck differential by +1. (Hence, a standard trillion has a suck differential of +0).

Note that +/- points differential is distinctly NOT used in the suck differential. We can't have better teammates covering for suck teammates now, can we?

One problem with suck differential is that each suck category is given equal weight. Does 2 missed free throws equal 2 turnovers on the suck scale? What if one personal foul was intentional for clock management? A more complex formula could attempt to describe "team points/possessions lost because of what you did", and could adjust FGA by +2 (+3 for missed 3PTA), TOV's by +1.1, etc.

But quite frankly, if your only opportunity to make a game and statistical impact was two free throws and you miss both, you deserve the +2 to your suck differential. And if your only job in the game was to be used for your personal fouls, that's a pretty solid +1 earned.

-AnacondaHL

Making this post created even more questions in my head. What was the largest single game suck differential last year? Who leads the league with the highest suck-to-trillion-minute played ratio? Could suck differential, applied properly to +/-, actually make a meaningful stat independent of teammate performance? Let's get 82games.com on this pronto.

Anonymous Michael said...
I'm not sure if this has been pointed out before, but check out Chris Quinn's picture from his NBA.com profile:

http://www.nba.com/media/act_chris_quinn.jpg

Blogger Barry said...
I was watching the Celtics game on Dutch TV (the Minute Watch has got me a bit worried), and they were discussing whether Pierce and Garnett's numbers would go up in the rafters when they retire.

They were pretty sure that Pierce's would go up, and so am I (unless he destroys half of Boston of course) but there were some doubts on Garnett....reasonable doubt I'd say as he's only been playing there for a year. but the counter-argument was that he brought the holy fire with him.

What are your thoughts about this Bawful? And what about Allen?

Anonymous Geert said...
Bawful, just a question. What are the chances some western GM is evil enough to sign Darius Miles cheap just to mess with Portlands capspace?

Blogger Basketbawful said...
The last anonymous -- Yeah, I've gotta admit, the Hawks have looked strong in the early going.

ak dave -- Two per week, minimum.

anacondahl -- Thanks! Give me a few days to work this in.

michael -- WTF? They can't be serious...?

barry -- Paul goes up for sure. Garnett too. He was the driving force behind last year's turnaround, which was an even bigger deal after the hell that franchise has gone through in the last 20 years. No way he won't get in. Allen...that's iffy. It'll be partially dependent on what goes down the next year or two. But he'll most likely be relegated to Danny Ainge status: Part of a great team but not quite good/important enough to go up in the rafters.

geert -- I think it really depends on how well the Blazers play this season. If Oden comes back and they catch fire, then it's possible one of their division or conference rivals might sign him to thwart their cap space. I could see the Lakers or Mavs doing it.

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