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Tyson Chandler points right to where the Heat kicked him
13 straight playoff losses will do that to you
No Erik, no one wants to take a whiff
Watch out ladies, they're still single....some things never change
Jeremy Lin takes in an intense episode of Naruto
Uh Oh, Amare only gets that look when an unsuspecting fire extinguisher is nearby
New York Bricks: Heading into this series, some thought there actually would be a chance at an upset, the Knicks would sneak up on the Heat and possibly take the series in 6.
Granted, all the people who felt that way lived in the Manhattan area, the Knicks got crushed in this series one game after another. An Iman Shumpert injury coupled with Amare doing his best "Dirk vs Exercise Bike" imitation and....well you get the idea.
Speaking of Amare, here's actual footage of what went down the other day:
I just hope Amare has learned his lesson. Fortunately for him, the Knicks have now placed the following instructions on all fire extinguishers within a 1000 mile radius:
As for Game 3, the Knicks were in good shape through halftime, hanging onto a 4 point lead despite no Amare or Shumpert. LeCrab even found himself in foul trouble (for like the first time ever) as he was mostly MIA in the third quarter (as oppose to the fourth, which is the norm).
But then Monsieur Wade happened, the Heat regained the lead and never looked back.
Wade played the entire third quarter and went off for 12 points.
That wasn't the scary part. A well rested Lebron came back for the fourth period and ripped the Knicks a new one with 17 points in the period alone as the lead ballooned to as much as 20.
"He was in foul trouble," Bosh said. "He was struggling a little bit and
he had pretty much the whole third quarter to think about what was
going on. It wasn't as much time for him to think as this past summer, but I think that was good for him. I think it really built a
desire in him a little bit and then he made sure we got off to a great
start in the fourth quarter which was very important for us."
As for Bosh, he was a question mark for this game due to the birth of his son
, but ended up starting anyway.
While the Heat got stellar performances from their big two, the Knicks got another night at the office from their remaining big two. Melo Yellow and
Captain Worst Shot Selection in the NBA JR Smith combined for a whopping 12-41 from the field. Looks like they joined forces to pay tribute to John Starks.
"When you can't score the basketball, that makes the game extremely
hard, no matter how much defense we go down there and play," Anthony
And I agree, but then again I'm not getting paid millions of dollars to do it, unlike some people.
The Bricks have now set an all time NBA record with 13 straight playoff losses (their last win coming against the Craptors). I'd like to let you know that no one in NBA history has come back from an 0-3 deficit.
Look for the Heat to keep it close during Game 4, and then come out of nowhere to break the game open in the fourth. Kinda like Bosh in the gifs below:
_allas Mavericks: In honor of the Heat, it looks like the Mavs are trying to do their best Miami 2007 impression. Which is unfortunate, since Dallas had a pretty brutal showing in the 2007 playoffs anyway.
Speaking of impressions, Durant decided to give a Dirk 2011 performance, as he went 11-15 from the field, and the Thunder just annihilated the Mavs in what Jason Terry referred to as a game which was to be treated like a Game 7.
Dallas got outscored every single quarter in a crucial game, as Dirk sputtered with a 6-15 shooting night. The rest of his supporting cast wasn't so great either:
Shawn Marion: 1-8
Jason Kidd: 4-12
Jason "Turtlehead" Terry: 3-10
Vince Quitter: 2-8
That ladies and gentlemen, is how you manage to shoot 34% from the field as a team, get down by as many as 26 points (encouraging some fans to leave at the start of the fourth quarter) and never have a single lead.
Looking at those shooting performances, it's a miracle they were only down by as many as 26.
Never underestimate the heart of a champion. Especially if that champion has their hearts ripped out in the past offseason by letting current DPOY Chandler walk, and putting all their hopes on one whiny bitch of a point guard in Deron Williams.
Keep up the good work Cubes!
Have I mentioned that no one has come back from an 0-3 deficit? The last time a team was at least able to force a Game 7 in that scenario were the Portland Trailblazers. Their opponent? The Dallas Mavericks.
When looking at the AP quotes from both the Knicks/Mavs, I found these gems:
said. "Obviously no one wants to be in a hole 0-3, you know in the
playoffs especially against a tough team like (Miami), but that's the
way it is and we've got to keep fighting."
"Our mistakes we weren't able to overcome. Their high-level play, we
weren't able to overcome either," Carlisle said. "It's really tough to
go down 0-3. We're going to keep fighting."
So that settles it folks. Anytime I'm about to get crushed in a game of anything, whether it's chess, battleship, or tennis, I'm going to look my opponent straight in the eye and say "I'm going to keep fighting"
And then proceed to weep the rest of my summer away.
Speaking of weeping the summer away, we have to honor the woeful Bobscraps, who magnificently finished the season with the lowest
winning percentage in NBA history.
To commemorate the event I thought we should take a look at our Paul Silas yearbook (who resigned as head coach and is now listening to Dashboard Confessional albums with Lamar Odom):
Weekend's Upcoming Games:
Hawks vs Celtics: Oh boy, after the hilarious come from behind victory the Celtics had despite no Allen or Rondo, you know this one ought to be a doozy. The Hawks are going to be without Josh Smith and Al Hortford. Let's just pencil this one as 2-1 Celtics.
Bulls vs 1776ers: Still reeling from the Derrick Rose fiasco, we now have a series on our hands. I still think the Bulls can take this series, but do they?
Lakers vs Nuggets: You know, it's funny how the games where Kobe takes less than 15 shots, the Lakers usually win in commanding fashion. Even the games where he shoots 75% from the floor (once a year) and takes 25+ shots, the Lakers kinda just "hang on" for the win. I think Denver takes Game 3, and JaVale Magoo goes from a team that was on pace to be one of the worst of all time to getting his first (and maybe last?) playoff win of the year.
Pacers vs Magic: I can promise you that you can find much better things to do on a Saturday night then watch this game. Even bouncing a ball within the walls of your bedroom would lead to more excitement.
But at least we'll get to watch Hedo Turkeyglue in action. Hell, even Stan Van Gundy hates him:
Grizzlies vs Clippers: I don't know if anything can beat the uh...excitement of a 27 point come from behind victory.
But really folks, nothing beats the excitement this kid had for Z-Bo.....or maybe he's just as excited as I am that the Grizz were just 6 points from free hamburgers for the entire arena:
Thunder vs Mavs:
Get ready to see a lot of this from Mark Cuban:
Spurs vs Jazz: Well isn't this matchup exciting? Maybe Utah can keep it interesting and only try to lose by less than 15 points.
As for the Spurs, every year we count them out, yet they refuse to go away and die. As a matter of fact, team officials have already released the official 2025 Spurs Playoff Banner:
Bulls vs 1776ers: If you're on the West Coast, I can't see you getting up at 10 AM for this game. if you're on the East Coast and were partying hard the night before, keep sleeping.
Heat vs Knicks: 14 straight playoff losses baby!
Hawks vs Celtics: This just about sums it up for the Hawks.
Lakers vs Nuggets: By the time this game is over, I'm hoping we'll have more to add to the JaVale Magoo scrapbook!
Chris's Lacktation Report:
Heat-The Nearly Extinguished Brickerbockers: Norris Cole notched a foul in 222 seconds for a +1.
Thunder-Mavs: Nick Collison canceled out three boards in 13:18 with a
brick, a turnover, and three fouls for a 4:3 Voskuhl. Royal Ivey and
Lazar Hayward had matching suck differentials of +1 in 201 seconds, Ivey
via brick from the Majestic Theatre and Hayward via turnover.
Labels: 2012 NBA Playoffs, playoffs, Raza, Worst of the Night