20100209-sixers-coach-eddie-jordanAlright, it's Wednesday. We're halfway through the week. I can't wait for this week to end -- you're going to be in for a real treat when we celebrate the All Star weekend.

In the meantime, it's another Double Team edition of BAD. Chris wrote some of the game previews, and I wrote the others. Yay! Less work for me!

Quick Footbawful crossover... The most unintentionally comedic item I've seen all day (thanks to Deadspin for sharing it) has to be this article about how the Saints are evil for attempting an onside kick and should burn in hell. (Okay, maybe I extrapolated a little there, but that's the direction the article was already going). Also, I love how the author chooses to ignore the fact that if Hank Baskett simply caught the ball that was kicked right to him, the Colts would have been given excellent field position (30+ yards better than if the Saints had done a regular or even squib kick).

Oh, and how could I forget? As passed along by Matt McHale: Technical Writer, you must see Lamar Odom starring in the greatest commercial of all time.

Now, we of course have to wonder... if Darryl Dawkins gets ahold of these PowerBar Energy Blasts, will he bypass Lovetron and dunk on an even more badass planet in another solar system?

Bawful Trade of the Day:
Couple of trades this time around. Basketbawful reader matt had this suggestion:

I tried this trade just for pure ridiculousness:

Heat acquire: Luke Walton and Lamar Odom
Raptors acquire: Ron Artest, Derek Fisher, and Jordan Farmar
Crabs acquire: Josh Powell, Adam Morrison, Sasha Vujacic, DJ Mbenga, Shannon Brown
Lakers acquire: LeBron James, Chris Bosh, Dwyane Wade

Send LO back to the Heat, relegate Artest and the Lakers' struggling point guards to Siberia...er, Canada, and put Josh Powell, Ammo, the Machine and DJ Mbenga with the Lacktion Jacksons to let the Cavs field an ultimate lineup of suck.

But of course the highlight of this trade is sending the big name free agents in Bosh, Wade and James to the Lakers. Somehow this increases the Lakers win total by 8. Seems little if you think of the talent that's coming there but seems like a lot if you consider that the Lakers will only have a 6 man roster, not rotation, roster.

What do you guys think?

CaptainHomeless brings us this trade suggestion:
Here is my entry for a supremely Bawful Trade. The goal was to remove the best player and franchise centerpiece from arguably the three best teams in the league, and stick them someplace terrible from a publicity standpoint.

Bobcats acquire: Kobe, Lebron, and Dwight Howard
Lakers acquire: Shaq
Crabs acquire: Desagana Diop, Tyson Chandler, Gerald Wallace, and Stephen Jackson
Magic acqure: Nazr Mohammed and Boris Diaw

Gains the Charlotte Bobcats -- a team with pitiful attendance and massive financial problems, stuck in a tiny market where no one cares about them -- some amazing star power ... but somehow only nine more wins. Despite that fact, I suspect the six Bobcats fans out there are thinking "Yes, please."

Reunites Shaq with LA and costs them 11 wins in the process.

Absolutely devastates the Cavaliers in all ways.

And somehow improves Orlando by one game!

Worst of the Night in Pictures:

If you find this position intriguing and would like to know how it can further be useful, I suggest Googling Sasha Grey or Tori Black
(WARNING -- Doing such a search is EXTREMELY NSFW, but also extremely awesome. You're welcome.)

One word: shart

The Timberwolves and the 76ers. The NBA -- it's Faaaaaantastic!

Alright D-Wade, I know you beat up on the Rockets pretty bad, but I don't think it's quite time to be getting sized for a ring yet...

"Tayshaun, you smell... manly..."

Nationally Televised Games:
Celtics at Hornets: As much as CP3's injury has set New Orleans back, at least most of their roster hasn't started collecting Social Security yet. And hey, CP3 won his charity bowling tournament that was recently aired on ESPN (tape delayed by a couple months, of course). So he's got that going for him, which is nice.

All The Other Games:
Heat at Hawks: Today's magic number: 5. The number of consecutive home gams won by Atlanta? Five. The number of consecutive games the Heat have lost in Atlanta? Five. The number of times I thought about making a reference to Subway's current "Five Dollar Footlong" marketing campaign but couldn't find a way to connect it to either team? Five.

76ers at Raptors: Chris Bosh is playing out of his mind and has the Dinos one win away tying their franchise mark for wins before the All-Star break. Too bad he'll be in (insert city where LeBron's playing) next year.

Bucks at Nyets: Milwaukee's four games under .500. The Nyets are also familiar with the number four - the total amount of wins they have this season. Ladies and gentlemen, the Basketbafwul Game Of The Night!

Kings at Pistons: After catching the Knicks in a bout of catatonia late last night, the Purple Paupers get to travel to Oakland County and meet up with a team of rather similar characteristics - a 30+ loss squad with a suburban arena built in 1988. Well, similar except one barn is essentially a barn, and the other is called "The Palace" for good reason.

Magic at Bulls: Vinsanity on his 48 point effort against the Hornets: "It was a great feeling." Is that right? You mean actually giving a shit for a change and trying felt good? What a shocking revelation!

Bobcats at Timberwolves: Well, glad to see the Timberpoops have finally fallen back down to Earth and are back to their losing ways. Whew. I was worried for a little while there. I thought somebody had divided by zero or something.

Frail Blazers at Suns: With Brandon Roy out, the Blazers have now dropped 8 of 12 games. Turns out Nate McMillan's the larger the injured-reserve list is, the more wins we get" strategy can only work for so long. Who knew?

Lakers at Jazz: Word is Bynum's out for this game. Hey, I've got an idea! Why don't the Lakers trade for Will Bynum so he can be subbed in whenever Andrew Bynum gets hurt. Great idea, right? Right...? *crickets*

Clippers at Warriors: The West Coast Bawful Game of The Night!? Will Steve Novak lack it up again for Kim Hughes? About the only drama worth tuning in for.

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Blogger chris said...
Was Vinsanity's 48-point night really the result of less apathy, or more like "the right opponent?"

Anonymous Shrugz said...
I don't get how everyone assuming bosh is leaving
oh wells he'll resign since well...no way he's gonna get a 6 year contract after the next CBA

Blogger Dunpizzle said...
Apparently obtainig Kobe can make the Nyets even worse

Anonymous Mike T said...
Does a Bawful trade count if it is too big for the trade machine to process? I think the numbers work for the following 4 team, 14 player trade:

Houston gets: Big Z, Shaq, Roy Hibbert and Brendan Haywood in order to team up four 7 footers with Yao

Washington gets: Aaron Brooks, Kyle Lowry, Boobie Gibson, T.J. Ford and Travis Diener in order to team up five 6 footers with Boykins

Cleveland gets: She-Mac and Antwan Jamison

Indiana gets: Trevor Ariza, Brian Cook and Luis Scola

This is the ultimate bigs for smalls trade AND Cleveland gets the player it covets. I wish the trade machine would process this so that I could see the net wins/losses for each team.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
I've been attempting it for the last 15 minutes, but it's impossible. I can't NOT laugh at that picture of Eddie Jordan. It's so Weekend At Bernie's.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
By the way, as if Michael Vick hadn't hurt the city of Atlanta enough, how 'bout his latest admission:

"There was a lot more I could have done off the field and in the film room that could have elevated my game to a different level," Vick said. "I was complacent at the time, somewhat lazy, and I settled for mediocrity. I thought what I was doing was enough."

Hello, fist. Meet Atlanta's nuts.

Blogger chris said...
Bawful: Yet "Weekend at Eddie's" would feature more actual coaching by a coach, than Mike Brown currently provides for the Crabs.

And isn't Vick still settling for mediocrity in his post-prison career?

Blogger Basketbawful said...
And isn't Vick still settling for mediocrity in his post-prison career?

Yeah. But now he has no choice.

Blogger Dan B. said...
Bawful -- I think Andrew McCarthy and Jonathan Silverman could somehow be involved in the Weeknd at Bernie's style posing. No, seriously, they're probably janitors at the arena.

Anonymous Mike T said...
Little did John Hollinger know that Joe Dumars was thinking 18 steps ahead when he drafted Darko ahead of Melo and traded Chauncey for the Canswer.

His plan all along was to overpay Rip, Charlie V and Ben Gordon so that their contracts added up to within $4,912 of the combined contracts of Chauncey and Melo.

Dumars planned all along to let Melo mature as a player and then let him play with Chauncey for awhile until they were familiar with each other and then, and only then, would he make the move to get them in a package deal.


This trade adds 15 wins to Detroit and takes 18 wins from Denver. In the coming days, Dumars will once again prove that he is the best GM who ever lived. Shame on all of us for questioning him and suggesting that he lucked out on many of his past moves or saying that he only won with Larry Brown's team.

If my prediction does not come true by the trade deadline, it will only be because Dumars has justifiably decided to be frugal and save his owner the additional $4,912 that they would have to pay Melo and Chauncey in this deal.

Anonymous Mike T said...
Unintentional dirty quote from the ESPN box score of Heat-Hawks:

"Heat pull away late, spank short-handed Hawks"

Blogger Ash said...
Unintentional dirty quote machine, Stu Jackson during the Laker game. While Ron Artest was posting up Paul Milsap: "Ron wants to feel your body."

Blogger The Dude Abides said...
Laker color man Stu Lantz, speaking about Ron Artest: "Ron wants to feel your body. He's a body-seeker. When he feels your body, he knows what he's going to do."

That is the epitome of an unintentionally dirty quote.

Blogger Ash said...
Well, since the Dude was the one who didn't screw up Stu's name, I will now hang my head in shame.

Blogger chris said...
It always amuses me how the "San Francisco"/"The City" Warriors throwbacks are the most iconic look for that team...even though they were only in SF for 7 years, and have been in East Oakland now for 39!

Anonymous Anonymous said...
@ The Dude Abides:

"That is the epitome of an unintentionally dirty quote."

Haha. That is so dirty I wonder if it's an Intentionally dirty quote.

Blogger chris said...
AND...at one point with 1:37 left in the first quarter, the Warriors were shooting 80% from the field.

Meanwhile, it looks like the apocalypse is upon us, seeing that I witnessed a sucessful BLOCK from Team Nellieball. DEFENSE? HUH?!

Blogger chris said...
64-46 Warriors right now. Yep, the Clippers are who we thought they were.

Blogger chris said...
By "right now," I mean halftime. The Clippers giving up 64 points in a half...wow!

Blogger chris said...
Steph Curry with a TEAM RECORD five made shots from behind the arc in the first quarter!

Don Nelson is in heaven at this very moment.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Get outta my way, Saturn!

Also, Warriors with 46 points in the 3rd, leading the Clippers by some innumerable amount, with 6 guys.

Anonymous Story said...
Nyets lose to the Bucks before about 1,000 fans in the Swamp.

I was not disappointed by the Sad Nets Bench photo in the Yahoo Sports game recap.

That probably should have been the Basketbawful Game of the Decade.

Poor Nyets - Dennis Hopson is rollin' over in his grave.

Blogger chris said...
Steph Curry with a last-minute garbage time rebound for the triple-double - first Warrior rookie with a triple-double since C-Webb in 1993...AND first 30-10-10 game by a rookie since Sacramento's mayor accomplished that feat in 1988!

Anonymous Anonymous said...
No team will want to pay 20 mil a piece for Bron and Bosh next year. since a) they'd have no room for anyone else and b) both want to be option number one on offense. It'd be lose lose for everyone. And I doubt they'd win more than a playoff series.

Anonymous Hajt said...
Blazers shoot 71% in the first half and manage to hold on to be the Suns. Alven Gentry says,

"We sucked. We sucked. I mean we sucked. In all phases of it. They drove it to the basket. They made jump shots. We had to end up double-teaming and they swung the ball and either made jump shots or drove it to the basket. We didn't play. They scored 66 last night. They had 60 at the half. So our defense was terrible. In the five games we won we were pretty good defensively and did a pretty good job. We didn't tonight. Thanks."

Blogger Silva said...

A very very bawful frontcourt for the Lakers and Shannon Brown is out which means more playing time for the Lakers reserves that include Adam Morrison and Sasha Vujacic.

It's fun for me to imagine this going through and Kobe being institutionalized short after.

Anonymous Barry said...

Eddy Curry and Harrington to the Spurs, Big Shot Larry and Danilo Gallinari to the Suns and Duncan and Stoudemire to the Knicks!

I'm not sure why but I couldn't resist a deal with Big Shot Larry and the Fat Curry.

Somehow New York gains 13 wins, the Spurs lose 14 and the Suns go 2 down.

Anonymous Brian said...
Darren Collison had a great game against Boston, but he was one assist shy of a triple-bumble, as he had a serious case of butter fingers, comitting 10 turnovers.

From the AP recap: “That’s rookie mistakes right there,” Collison said. “That’s something I’m going to be looking at the film to assess.”

Blogger Unknown said...
How about a Worst Trades Special @ feb 18 with all the bad trades in one post for eternity!

Anonymous Anonymous said...
This is my first time posting a comment on Basketbawful, although I am a long time reader. I don't really know if this a place to contribute a picture to Bawful, but if it is I would like to present this picture:


I do not take credit for this picture, it was posted on the REALGM General Board thread.

Anonymous Bill Foster said...
Long time reader of your excellent blog, but have never been compelled to post here. Anyway, here's my question: Is Lebron James the biggest fag to ever pick up a basketball? Cheers, basketbawful.

Blogger Silva said...
Pat, do you know if they just let people that had regular seats to come down?

Blogger Basketbawful said...
Pat -- Your pic has been added to today's WotN post. Thanks!

Anonymous Anonymous said...
I am really not sure of that although I would assume so, because I couldn't spot anyone in the upper or even the middle decks.