Alright, it's Wednesday. We're halfway through the week. I can't wait for this week to end -- you're going to be in for a real treat when we celebrate the All Star weekend.
In the meantime, it's another Double Team edition of BAD. Chris wrote some of the game previews, and I wrote the others. Yay! Less work for me!
Quick Footbawful crossover... The most unintentionally comedic item I've seen all day (thanks to Deadspin for sharing it) has to be this article about how the Saints are evil for attempting an onside kick and should burn in hell. (Okay, maybe I extrapolated a little there, but that's the direction the article was already going). Also, I love how the author chooses to ignore the fact that if Hank Baskett simply caught the ball that was kicked right to him, the Colts would have been given excellent field position (30+ yards better than if the Saints had done a regular or even squib kick).
Oh, and how could I forget? As passed along by Matt McHale: Technical Writer, you must see Lamar Odom starring in the greatest commercial of all time.
Now, we of course have to wonder... if Darryl Dawkins gets ahold of these PowerBar Energy Blasts, will he bypass Lovetron and dunk on an even more badass planet in another solar system?
Bawful Trade of the Day: Couple of trades this time around. Basketbawful reader matt had this suggestion:
Heat acquire: Luke Walton and Lamar Odom Raptors acquire: Ron Artest, Derek Fisher, and Jordan Farmar Crabs acquire: Josh Powell, Adam Morrison, Sasha Vujacic, DJ Mbenga, Shannon Brown Lakers acquire: LeBron James, Chris Bosh, Dwyane Wade
Send LO back to the Heat, relegate Artest and the Lakers' struggling point guards to Siberia...er, Canada, and put Josh Powell, Ammo, the Machine and DJ Mbenga with the Lacktion Jacksons to let the Cavs field an ultimate lineup of suck.
But of course the highlight of this trade is sending the big name free agents in Bosh, Wade and James to the Lakers. Somehow this increases the Lakers win total by 8. Seems little if you think of the talent that's coming there but seems like a lot if you consider that the Lakers will only have a 6 man roster, not rotation, roster.
What do you guys think?
CaptainHomeless brings us this trade suggestion:
Here is my entry for a supremely Bawful Trade. The goal was to remove the best player and franchise centerpiece from arguably the three best teams in the league, and stick them someplace terrible from a publicity standpoint.
Bobcats acquire: Kobe, Lebron, and Dwight Howard Lakers acquire: Shaq Crabs acquire: Desagana Diop, Tyson Chandler, Gerald Wallace, and Stephen Jackson Magic acqure: Nazr Mohammed and Boris Diaw
Gains the Charlotte Bobcats -- a team with pitiful attendance and massive financial problems, stuck in a tiny market where no one cares about them -- some amazing star power ... but somehow only nine more wins. Despite that fact, I suspect the six Bobcats fans out there are thinking "Yes, please."
Reunites Shaq with LA and costs them 11 wins in the process.
Absolutely devastates the Cavaliers in all ways.
And somehow improves Orlando by one game!
Worst of the Night in Pictures:
If you find this position intriguing and would like to know how it can further be useful, I suggest Googling Sasha Grey or Tori Black (WARNING -- Doing such a search is EXTREMELY NSFW, but also extremely awesome. You're welcome.)
One word: shart
The Timberwolves and the 76ers. The NBA -- it's Faaaaaantastic!
Alright D-Wade, I know you beat up on the Rockets pretty bad, but I don't think it's quite time to be getting sized for a ring yet...
"Tayshaun, you smell... manly..."
Nationally Televised Games: Celtics at Hornets: As much as CP3's injury has set New Orleans back, at least most of their roster hasn't started collecting Social Security yet. And hey, CP3 won his charity bowling tournament that was recently aired on ESPN (tape delayed by a couple months, of course). So he's got that going for him, which is nice.
All The Other Games: Heat at Hawks: Today's magic number: 5. The number of consecutive home gams won by Atlanta? Five. The number of consecutive games the Heat have lost in Atlanta? Five. The number of times I thought about making a reference to Subway's current "Five Dollar Footlong" marketing campaign but couldn't find a way to connect it to either team? Five.
76ers at Raptors: Chris Bosh is playing out of his mind and has the Dinos one win away tying their franchise mark for wins before the All-Star break. Too bad he'll be in (insert city where LeBron's playing) next year.
Bucks at Nyets: Milwaukee's four games under .500. The Nyets are also familiar with the number four - the total amount of wins they have this season. Ladies and gentlemen, the Basketbafwul Game Of The Night!
Kings at Pistons: After catching the Knicks in a bout of catatonia late last night, the Purple Paupers get to travel to Oakland County and meet up with a team of rather similar characteristics - a 30+ loss squad with a suburban arena built in 1988. Well, similar except one barn is essentially a barn, and the other is called "The Palace" for good reason.
Magic at Bulls: Vinsanity on his 48 point effort against the Hornets: "It was a great feeling." Is that right? You mean actually giving a shit for a change and trying felt good? What a shocking revelation!
Bobcats at Timberwolves: Well, glad to see the Timberpoops have finally fallen back down to Earth and are back to their losing ways. Whew. I was worried for a little while there. I thought somebody had divided by zero or something.
Frail Blazers at Suns: With Brandon Roy out, the Blazers have now dropped 8 of 12 games. Turns out Nate McMillan's the larger the injured-reserve list is, the more wins we get" strategy can only work for so long. Who knew?
Lakers at Jazz: Word is Bynum's out for this game. Hey, I've got an idea! Why don't the Lakers trade for Will Bynum so he can be subbed in whenever Andrew Bynum gets hurt. Great idea, right? Right...? *crickets*
Clippers at Warriors: The West Coast Bawful Game of The Night!? Will Steve Novak lack it up again for Kim Hughes? About the only drama worth tuning in for.