Are you ready for the Thursday night TNT games? Since those are the only two games played tonight (as with many Thursday nights), I have to switch up my style a little to fill the space. I never could get the hang of Thursdays...
Breaking news! This restaurant in Canada encourages its customers to have sex in its bathrooms. Oh, and that sound you just heard was Rick Pitino speeding off to the airport. (They specifically mention they won't be supplying any condoms, but I don't think that'll matter much to Slick Rick. Birth control isn't walking through that door!)
Bawful Trade of the Day:
We're counting down the days to the 2010 trade deadline with horrendous trades created in the ESPN Trade Machine. Keep submitting your entries. Even if yours doesn't get posted on the site, many people will still see it in the comments.
My first selection goes to my co-editor AnacondaHL. No, it's not just because we're both writers here. First, I loved his confidence in proclaiming it the Basketbawful Trade of the Night in his comment, but also the trade just slays me. Vince Carter for Ray Allen, straight up. According to the Trade Machine, the Magic lose two more games a year and the Celtics gain a win. What?? Bringing a headcase SWAC in to replace a more-than-legitimate shooter will improve their record? I just don't see Vinsanity bringing together the locker room to help them get motivated for victory...
Bonus trade! Basketbawful reader kingofkansascity suggests this ridiculous three-way swap. The Heat acquire Kwame Brown, "Human Victory Cigar" Darko Milicic, and Eddy "My Contract Weighs as Much as My Ass" Curry. The Pistons acquire Jermaine "The Drain" O'Neal. And finally the Bricks obtain Charlie Villanueva and Ben Gordon. As noted by the artist who painted this beautiful piece of artwork: "Entertaining because somehow, acquiring the rotting corpse of Jermaine O'Neal while dumping Villanueva, Gordon and Kwame Brown doesn't help or hurt the Pistons. Just equal levels of suck being exchanged." Agreed. I also just liked seeing Kwame Brown's name again. If Smush Parker had shown up in this trade, I would have fallen out of my chair.
Worst of the Night in Pictures:
14 of the 48 AP pictures ESPN.com posted for this Bullets/Bricks game are of Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz. What does that tell you?
Nationally Televised Games:
Heat at Crabs: These LeBron/D-Wade games are interesting since they almost always end up having similar box score lines. However, that's where the line gets drawn on "interesting." The fresh-legged Crustaceans have won both matchups so far, and as evidenced by a loss to the Celtics last night, the Heat still are still a worse trainwreck than Skeleton Man.
Spurs at Frail Blazers: Well, San Antonio did win their road trip opener against the Purple Paupers... by two points. That does not bode well for their future. Meanwhile, the injury-plagued Frail Blazers dropped a home game to Utah last night. So, both teams not performing their best on the second night of a back-to-back? Thank God this is the late game so I will be in bed for most of it.
Labels: Bawful After Dark, Bawful Trade of the Day, Vanilla Ice
46 Comments:
Word of the Day
Previous Posts
Worst of the Night: February 3, 2010Bawful After Dark: February 3, 2010
Worst of the Night: February 2, 2010
Bawful After Dark: Groundhog Day Edition
Worst of the Night: February 1, 2010
Bawful After Dark: February 1, 2010
Worst of the Weekend: BALL edition
Bawful After Dark: Weekend Watch
Worst of the Night: January 28, 2009
Bawful After Dark: January 28, 2010
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Last night, Tyreke Evans went 10 points in 28 seconds to close out the game. In this time, he also had an assist to Noc for another 3ptr. If Hill and Ginobili had a few missed freebies here and there, this probably would have made great news and finally replaced the TMac 13 points in 35 seconds metric we use, ironically against the same team.
New theory: How possible is it that Sac is tanking for a chance at Wall? Trade away Kevin Martin, and Wall/Tyreke would be an incredible backcourt to build on.
Don't forget that the paupers lost the lottery despite worst record last year, so it's not like being this bad is beneficial in any way, especially when the team is one bad hair day for the Maloofs away from considering a call to the local Mayflower agent.
Gangsta rap swallowed those guys up with their hard-core images and inexplicable mass-appeal (the older I get, the more I realize just how backwards, racist, sexist and anti-social people like Ice Cube, Too $hort or even young Dr. Dre were), but today, I would be more embarrassed to play an NWA or Easy-E song on my stereo with mature adults around than I would Vanilla Ice.
And lets face it: if someone plays "Ice Ice Baby"- you dance. Or at the very least you bob your head. Don't lie. I know it's true.
http://games.espn.go.com/nba/tradeMachine?tradeId=yzyqvp3
I wanted to send Boozer to Cleveland, Shaq to Phoenix, Amar'eee to San Antonio and Ginobili to Phoenix since all of those fan bases have reason to hate the player they are acquiring. In the process I was also able to send 3 white guys to Utah. I was amazed that this was successful.
How are the Celtics ONLY 11 games worse with the Nyets?????
http://games.espn.go.com/nba/tradeMachine?tradeId=ykaqg9n
The Mario West contribute a positive play on the court with a dunk has seen Mike Dunleavy get canned. I think that tomorrow's Worst of the Night should have a tribute to at least some of the bawful that Dunleavy has brought to us as coach of the Clippers. In fact I think there's more than enough for it's own post. I'm going to pour some beer on my kitchen floor in mourning.
http://sports.espn.go.com/los-angeles/nba/news/story?id=4887981
Fortunately, he retains his front office position which means there is still hope that he'll pull the trigger on one of the many bawful trades being thrown around.
The moment had manlove written all over it.
I want PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE.
oh and dumbleavy fired, lol. Sterling found someone cheaper!?
http://oklahomacity.nbabasketballfansite.com/videopage.asp?videoid=14600
view this footage at your own risk. Seeing The Mario West contribute positively might shatter your understanding of the world as you know it.
As often suggested, since Utah is the "Beehive State" anyways, just fucking trade Utah Hornets and New Orleans Jazz. Or even a three-way with Utah Bobcats, and Charlotte Hornets living again.
Finally, if no one has video of it yet, here's a phone cam of someone in Toronto who recorded a bit of the Vanilla Ice performance.
ok im done now
They named their kid "Bronx Mowgli."
WHY.
---
In a world where Mario West plays CONTRIBUTORY BASKETBALL...
SOME KID WAS NAMED "ESPN." Not "Espen" like the former hockey player, but ESPN as in, the network that brings you mediocrely-produced Association coverage, and the insights of Hubie brown.
Seriously.
I will be none too surprised if the American River starts flowing backwards tomorrow.
chris: do they play that "song" during games?
3 whiteys to Utah--Classic.
Booze back to Cleveland--just b/c it's Cleveland and its their fate to get crapped on.
Amar''''e to the Spurs--Popovich just had an aneurysm
Shaq and Ginobli to the Suns--someone from Phoenix really pissed off Mike T
And to top it off, almost everyone loses, a net loss of -20 wins.
Take the 4 least watchable teams in the L, combine to make 1 mediocre squad, and serve with lots of beer.
Side note: if the most wins I could get from fleecing the Nyets, Kings and Clips was 19 ... does that mean they're going to combine for 19 more wins for the rest of the year?
Before you say 'the Cavs will be crazy to do it", consider this: LBJ is an unrestricted free agent, and he can choose to play wherever he likes to. LBJ can go to the Cavs GM and say "I wanna be a global icon so I wanna play in LA or New York. You either figure out a sign-and-trade with the Lakers so I got to play in a good team and you got something in return or I am signing with the Knicks and we are both screwed." If you were the Cavs GM you basicallly are forced to do it (hey Andrew Bynum is not a bad compensation when the alternative is... well, NOTHING).
The only person that would have second thoughts about this is Kobe, because he doesn't get to be the Alpha dog anymore. But if he's serious about catching Jordan for those 6 rings he should understand he need more help. His body is breaking down this year (finger, back) and if he's willing to play with LBJ that will be the ultimate sign that he's not a ball hog and he's all about winning.
http://games.espn.go.com/nba/tradeMachine?tradeId=yzzkyjs
http://games.espn.go.com/nba/tradeMachine?tradeId=yjyrgva
The guy was fired as Coach but will remain as GM. Any chance he purposefully tries to sink the team (further) into oblivion with terrible trades and horrible draft picks for the sake of revenge? He'd get paid anyways.
Then again, Elton Brand seems to have brought it to the shores of the Schuylkill.
I hope someone did a screen capture of that Nate McMillan facepalm in response to Juwan "AARP" Howard's horrible inbounding attempt.
And btw why is it bawful? It would be bawful to all of the other 29 teams of the NBA and their fans (including me , of the Spurs), because LBJ+Kobe will walk all over us and it's goona be doomsday ten times over.
Just now, one of the teams, the Talk n' Text Tropang Texters just walked out of the playing court in the first quarter as their Coach Chot Reyes was fed up with the calls! Reyes was fed up with the calls, with their opponent having 16 FTA already in the 1st quarter and his player was called for a Flagrant 2 foul in the last ensuing play, and thus Reyes commanding the walkout. So their opponent, the Barangay Ginebra Kings just won the game by default.
Nets projected to win less 9 with this trade. This would means they would finish with a 82/-1 record or something?
Cuban is ready to make it to make things right...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oxAy2h7eBjk
http://games.espn.go.com/nba/tradeMachine?tradeId=ygntm2c
Chris Paul is seen crying tears of joy.