Anyone else think of Spoonman when they saw this?

Hi and hello everyone. It's Groundhog Day. Hopefully you won't wake up as Bill Murray tomorrow. Random quote of the day! Mike Lombardi from the National Football Post, commenting on Stan Van Gundy's usual attire: "[He] looks like an unmade bed." I concur.

NarSARSsist posted in the WOTN comments: "What are some trades that you guys want to see? Any plans for that theme of a post as we approach the Trade Deadline, bawful?" While I can't speak for Matt McHale: Technical Writer, I will say this actually kind of goes hand-in-hand with an idea I had a few weeks ago, but never got around to doing anything with it. Would you guys like to do a "Bad Trade of the Day" feature? You could fire up ESPN.com's Trade Machine and submit the most ridiculous trades that work under the salary cap regulations, then I'd post the most bawful ones. Any interest? (As a bonus, there's always the possibility of a real Association GM seeing one of those bad trades, thinking "Hmm, that's actually not a bad idea," and we end up with a real life trade bloated with cap-killing contracts and lacktion null-stars)

And of course, as noted by AnacondaHL: "New NBA Jam voting week. Bobcats, Bucks, Pacers. VOTE NOW BITCHES."

Worst of the Night in Pictures:

20100201-ahmad-rashad
Ahmad Rashad, please, one Birdman is more than enough!


20100201-stephen-gostkowski-at-grizzlies-game
Huh. So that's what happened to Lucy after Peanuts ended


20100201-zach-randolph
Z-Bo must be awesome at swimming pool basketball if he can hold his breath like that

All The Games:
Grizzlies at Crabs: So, last night the Lakers had to play a tough Grizzlies team on a back-to-back after winning a close game. They lost. Tonight, the Grizzlies get to play a tough Crabs team on a back-to-back after winning a close game. Hmm...

Raptors at Pacers: The Raptors continue to be hot, and the Pacers continue to suck. (As my dad asked the other day: "Didn't the Pacers used to be good?" It seems like so long ago...) Does this game even really need to happen? They might as well just show a replay of the matchup these two teams had over the weekend.

Bucks at Magic: Milwaukee's won three straight, and even managed to win on the road last night. But, as mentioned in the WOTN, that puts them at just 6-18 on the road. So, um, yeah... Good luck tonight winning one on tired legs in Orlando, guys!

Pistons at Nyets: Uh oh. This potentially historically bawful Nyets team has found an opponent almost as bad as them. Detroit's lost 5 straight, and only has 4 wins in the past 7 weeks? If you're Detroit, you're sweating a little on this one even though it's so cold in The D. (I just can't believe I'm actually rooting for a Detroit team in this game. As a Pittsburgh Penguins fan, I depise the evil Red Wings, and by the transitive property of equality, every team in Detroit is evil and must be hated. Yes, I made it through a few math classes in high school and college before crumbling and switching majors, why do you ask?)

Clippers at Bulls: The Bulls managed to lose to the Clippers last month. The good news? It's the Clippers. There's always hope because, after all, they are who we thought they were. It's nice to have some constants in life, isn't it?

Hawks at Thunder: Kevin Durant has been hotter than a ghost chili pepper lately. However, just remember that his career high 45 point game the other day was against the Warriors, so that ought to have an asterisk by it.

Warriors at Rockets: It must suck to be in the Southwest division this year. Houston is 25-22... and is last in the Southwest. Ouch. You would have thought that by now the conferences would have evened up a little and the Eastern conference wouldn't have sub-.500 teams competing for playoff spots, but... no.

Labels: , ,

59 Comments:
Blogger chris said...
Technically, you're not rooting for a team that plays in Detroit, but in Oakland County!!!!! So it's all good.

(right?)

Blogger chris in van said...
straight up!

http://games.espn.go.com/nba/tradeMachine?tradeId=mc4j66

saves okc money long term by not having to sign him to a pricey extension!

Anonymous Adrià said...
Bryant's face in the Z-Bo's caption is equally evil and ridiculous.

Anonymous Adrià said...
What about Devin "playoff team" Harris for Lamar "gumboy" Odom?

The best part is the "Hollinger's analysis".

Anonymous Anonymous said...
check out this bad boy!

http://games.espn.go.com/nba/tradeMachine?tradeId=yhct63d

Blogger Amandus said...
http://games.espn.go.com/nba/tradeMachine?tradeId=ykx4exa

Lebron to the Lakers for Ron Ron, Sasha and AmMO!!!!!

Anonymous Adrià said...
Hilarious!!

http://games.espn.go.com/nba/tradeMachine?tradeId=yjmjq6k

Anonymous NarSARSsist said...
I think Adria should win by virtue of the fact that the Devin Harris - Lamar Odom trade projects to increase the Nyet's win total by 50%

Anonymous Adrià said...
http://games.espn.go.com/nba/tradeMachine?tradeId=yh93y8a

Even better, Kobe to the Crabs for Shaq and "another superstar"

Ok, and this is my last one.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...

Blogger kingofkansascity said...
Donald Sterling must be prevented from seeing this and thinking its a good idea...

http://games.espn.go.com/nba/tradeMachine?tradeId=yjbucdr

Blogger kingofkansascity said...
http://games.espn.go.com/nba/tradeMachine?tradeId=yhnymb6

It only takes the Grizz from contender back to their normal bawful status.

Blogger kingofkansascity said...
Part 1 of how the Knicks lure Lebron to NYC

http://games.espn.go.com/nba/tradeMachine?tradeId=yjs4pt7

Anonymous Adrià said...
Bravo!! We don't need to watch NBA games actually, trading is awesome!

I know how it feels now being Donald Sterling trading Kaman, R. Butler and R. Davis for "Agent Zero"!!

I swear it was my last one! but I can't stop! Bwaahahahaha!

Blogger kingofkansascity said...
http://games.espn.go.com/nba/tradeMachine?tradeId=yfhx3mn

Entertaining because somehow, acquiring the rotting corpse of Jermaine O'Neal while dumping Villanueva, Gordon and Kwame Brown doesn't help or hurt the Pistons. Just equal levels of suck being exchanged.

This has to be in the top 10 for trade of the night.

Anonymous NarSARSsist said...
How about this deal? Simultaneously destroys 3 WC competitors (including the clear top two) for an additional 18 wins, which would put the Hornets right around the top, while sporting a ridiculously small starting lineup of Nash, CP3, Kobe, Melo, and David West. You might ask why not BronBron and destroy the Craboliers? Well... Who the hell would want a dude only worth 9 wins to the Cavs? Screw King Crab. Obviously this superstar team with Melo would be way better.

Blogger Michael Hsu said...
The best part about the trade evaluator you get to see how much these guys make and then you instantly know whats wrong with our economy.

Blogger chris said...
Adria: Ah, the real centerpiece of your Shaq-Kobe deal: Darnell "Lacktion" Jackson!

Blogger Michael Hsu said...
http://games.espn.go.com/nba/tradeMachine?tradeId=yj29luv

This trade is the best. It would end the Knicks woeful season by making them forfeit for not having enough eligible players.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Cool website alert: How was your team formed? Fancy a flowchart to see how?

Anonymous Adrià said...
chris: That's why he is in the first spot :D

Awesome trades BTW, I can't wait to see the new ones tomorrow.
I suggest to post the "Bawful trade of the day", "top 10 of the week" or something, until the trading deadline arrives.

Balled!

Blogger chris said...
AnacondaHL: Here's the flow chart for the Purple Paupers.

Not exactly a picker-upper. :P

Anonymous Anonymous said...
It's in the news.... NBA.com is reporting that Pierce might have a broken foot....

another confirmed one legged mummy in Boston!

Blogger chris said...
Anonymous: When The Truth, KG, and Oden do commercials for Old Glory Robot Insurance, I'll know age has finally caught up.

Until then, the time is ripe for Isaiah Rider and Greg Ostertag to contemplate comebacks!!!

---

Don't you wish that Matt McHale: Technical Writer would receive an offer of a roster spot like this one?

Blogger Basketbawful said...
It's in the news.... NBA.com is reporting that Pierce might have a broken foot....j

If that's true, Boston's season is over.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
chris -- Now if only I could get Jay Leno to screw me over...

Blogger chris said...
Bawful: Well, we could have "The Bawful Show Featuring Matt McHale: Technical Writer" supplant Whoever Does The Clippers Pre-Game, then get canned for the current beleaguered Clippers booth staff after 7 months.

Instant settlement action!?

Blogger chris said...
Apparently, MSG's random "related quote generator" believes that "Matt McHale: Technical Writer" is the biggest quote of the last five days.

BALL.

(shirts soon plzkthx?!?!?)

Blogger chris said...
Also, a google update:

1. When one types in "Matt McHale", the third automatically generated text string adds "Basketbawful" to the end!

2. When "Basketbawful" is typed in, the following (excluding the site's URLs) are the top options for automatically generated search:

Voskuhl
Mario
Trillion
Gatorade
Mat

bawesome.

Anonymous kazam92 said...
http://games.espn.go.com/nba/tradeMachine


make it happen!

Anonymous kazam92 said...
The Celtics will still matter. The big 3 and their importance is a facade. Rajon Rondo is one of the 5 most important players to his team in the NBA. He should warrant a bit of MVP consideration.


That being said, them getting into the 2nd round at this point would be surprising

Blogger -Josh said...
The best trade of all time:

http://games.espn.go.com/nba/tradeMachine?tradeId=yzajec7

I mean, they're not really doing much anyway ... maybe the change in scenery would do 'em good ...

Anonymous Anonymous said...
http://games.espn.go.com/nba/tradeMachine

The Nets aren't bad enough!

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
People, you gotta hit save for the right URL to show up.

Also, I just got home, did the Nets actually lose? I almost feel bad now. Oh wait, no I don't! GO FOR HISTORY

Kaman return sparks Clippers win over Bulls. Kaman.

Weird stat of the Night: Monta Ellis, 2 3FG, 2 REB, 2 AST, 2 TO, 2 STL, 2 BLK, 2 blocked against.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
Oh...the Bulls...oh...

Anonymous mguard said...
for the bulls dismal performance against the clippers i think they deserve a "we are who they thought they were." I mean WTF BULLS? They pulls off this miraculous five game road winning streak to come home flat like this against the CLIPPERS? Someone please explain how the potent team chemistry of the clippers has the bulls number? Its just really disappointing...

Anonymous Armand said...
A few trades (all work in trade machine)

1) GS gets Baron Davis & Amare Stoudemare; LAC gets Monta Ellis & 'Bad Porn' Maggette; PHX gets Anthony Randolph, Marcus Camby & D.Geroge.

Why bawful: Diddy gets another run in GS with Amare to fire up the GS fake fans; nobody will ever pass the ball in that Clippers team, and PHX saves all the money they want and can lie to Nash they are just fine with A. Randolph.

Anonymous Armand said...
Bawful trade II:

Dallas gets Iggy and Dalembert; 76ers gets Josh Howard and Dampier.

Why so bawful: bawful to the Lakers and Nuggets that is!! And sixers get to dump all the contracts.

Blogger chris said...
Here's a simple nightmare scenario, should the Maloofs decide to go Clay Bennett on the River City (literally) -

http://games.espn.go.com/nba/tradeMachine?tradeId=yhcsdxa

Amazingly, trading Tyreke The Freak for freaking Brian Scalabrine ONLY increases the C's win count by 4!!!!!!

Blogger chris said...
Bawesome: here's one I just made work, Erick Dampier and Tim Thomas for KING CRAB. SRSLY.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Did I see that the bulls were the first team in NBA history to win five straight road games over plus-.500 teams?! (ESPN quick fact on the mobile site). If that is true, then way to celebrate by losing to the other LA team, Chicago!

Blogger chris said...
Here's another way for the Maloofs to go the Clay Bennett route. And not just that, but it's a perfect FACE OF THE FREAKING FRANCHISE AND THE LAST REASON SACRAMENTO STILL HAS A TEAM for a lacktator deal!!!!!

Blogger Preveen said...
Swapping Jermaine O'Neal's knees for Timmy's knees would result in +12 wins for the Heat. Tho my big question on this is, Duncan is paid less that O'Neal? I guess there is the risk of getting stuck with Timmy's knees for 3 years, while O'Neal is done this year, but damn!

Blogger chris said...
Can someone tell me how the Trade Machine makes this moronic four-way I just came up with possible!?

Essentially, to sum it up, the Kings get Ray Allen and Rajon Rondo and Luke Walton, the Crabs get K-Mart and Nocioni, the Lakers get Udrih, and the C's get crap.

Amazingly, that one isn't even the most idiotic possibility - here's one where the Kings get to reacquire Ron-Ron ALONG with getting Ray-Ray and Rondo - but manage to only be projected for one extra win a season!!!!

Blogger chris said...
If the Nyets want to salvage their season (instead of going for history), they could try trading Bobby Simmons, Devin "We knew we were a plwayoff team" Harris, and Tony Battie's painfully bloated contracts to get...KING CRAB AND PUMAMAN!!!! TOGETHER!!!!

Blogger chris said...
Here's a potential way to get the Nyets to go for 0-82!

Blogger chris said...
And I'm SURE the Crabs would be more than happy to try this (Zydrunas and The Big Voskuhl for Duncan Face and Ginobili).

In that vein, Mark Cuban wishes he could undo the Dampier contract by doing this.

Blogger chris said...
In this mind-numbing Trade Machine proposal I just concocted...

The crustaceans are attempting to assemble the most perfect roster they can (while Mike Brown will be there to coach them down to 85% of their potential). To recrap:

Crabs get Dwight Howard, Tyreke The Freak Evans, Kevin Martin, Joe Johnson, Al Horford, and Sergio Rodriguez

Hawks get The Big Voskuhl, Daniel Green, and Darnell "Lacktion" Jackson

Magic get Cedric "Lacktion II: Electric Boogaloo" Jackson, Randolph Morris, Jeff Teague, and Anderson Varejao

and my poor purple paupers acquire Zydrunas Ilgauskas and Marcin Gortat. OUCH.

Amazingly, the Crabs only gain 8 more wins out of this, but the Hawks, Magic, and Kings each average 12 less!!!!!!

Blogger Preveen said...
I was trying to see if we could meet the objectives of helping the Kings while staying with the Nets salary dump strategy.
http://games.espn.go.com/nba/tradeMachine?tradeId=ykqweaa

Kings gain one win, Nets gain another mill of space for the seasons end, but will loose 5 more games. Chance to make history and better chances at the lottery! Win Win all round!

Blogger chris said...
If the Dolans had any brains (and the same smooth talking that is allowing the GM for their NHL team, Glen Sather of the Rangers, to convince teams everywhere to suddenly take on his bad contracts this year), they could get in ONE fell swoop...

Lord Mamba, Pau Gasol, King Crab AND Chauncey Billups, for a net improvement of SIXTEEN WINS!!!!

And all the Crabs would be getting back is Big Shot Larry once more. Yep, 23 fewer wins alongside the Cuyahoga River.

Strangely, adding 'Melo to the equation doesn't make the Knicks better, but giving the Crabs Wilson Chandler as well softens the blow of replacing King Crab with Big Shot Larry by _20 FEWER LOSSES_?! HUH!?

Blogger chris said...
So apparently the Trade Machine feels that Tyreke The Freak is easy to acquire - the Bullets can have him for their three all-lacktion performers (Dominic McGuire, Fabricio Oberto, JaVale McGee)?!?!

Sick.

Blogger chris said...
Preveen:

The Kings gain four wins if they add Shaq!

They gain twice as many if they add Melo and Mo Williams, and ten with Melo and King Crab.

Blogger Preveen said...
Chris, you are not seeing the potential of this trade. If this is the effect of the trades on the rest of the season, the Nets have won 1 game every 10 games. That means they are due 4 more wins this year. That means they won't win another game for the whole season! An EPIC loosing streak! Its gotta be some kinda record! And they still have their salary dump strategy intact.

Blogger chris said...
Preveen: True, I wasn't looking at it from THAT perspective, but now that you delineate it that way...

Does anyone own the Nyets' draft pick? That would be amazing to own that in the midst of this season, assuming that the Stepien Rule isn't activated...

Blogger Preveen said...
Gotta feel for the Bucks loosing to the Magic. They seem to have started Labia Mud-Charmer or what ever you guys called him around here. And there has been a return of Vinsanity too.

Oh, and the Nets have lost again.

Anonymous Stockton said...
I DARE anyone to beat this mega trade. By the time Mr. Bawf post it, phones will ring non stop across the usa.

http://games.espn.go.com/nba/tradeMachine?tradeId=yfsjvc7

Everybody WINS!!!!

Cleveland gets his golden boy back and a center that will make Lebron sign a 50year contract; and will be for sure THE championship contenders.

Orlando gets an all-star super scorer championshiped-minded (hey, free to use this word on your word of the day) player, and reunites one of the most prolific duos in league history.

Utah gets two white guys.

Houston gets 2 team players to improve their team chemistry.

I will try some other trades, but really, this one is unbeatable
(and in case you ask, no, I'm not drunk or high...)

Anonymous Stockton said...
Hell yeahhh

http://games.espn.go.com/nba/tradeMachine?tradeId=yh7k3s5

http://games.espn.go.com/nba/tradeMachine?tradeId=yhwtt7u

Blogger Vasco said...
http://games.espn.go.com/nba/tradeMachine?tradeId=y86yoll

LeBron to the Knicks
+23 wins


http://games.espn.go.com/nba/tradeMachine?tradeId=ygu7px2

LeBron and Kaman to the Knicks
+13 wins


I guess Eddy Curry is essencial.

Blogger Matt said...
Bawful, is this realistic at all?

http://games.espn.go.com/nba/tradeMachine?tradeId=yzz2fjw

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