17-year-old LeBron shirtless in a cornfield

(via Andy Gray's SI Vault)

While I am still in a depressed state over the Nyets winning their fourth game of the season, I do have good news. Last night I decided to plunk down the $80 for the second half of the season's NBA League Pass Broadband. I figured I owed it to you guys to better provide entertaining writing. (Okay, I'm lying out my ass. I just wanted to watch more games.) Since it's TNT game night and there's only one other game tonight, that would mean I'd get to watch the Dinos and Bricks online! Thank God I have to bowl tonight so I won't accidentally watch that game instead of Celtics/Magic.

Oh, and just for the hell of it, you NEED to see this picture of Shaq back in high school (also via Andy Gray's SI Vault). It's hard to believe it's the same person as The Big Creaky, isn't it?

Worst of the Night in Pictures:

Not pictured: Jackie Christie running across the court to tackle the Raptor for tempting her man

Stop the presses! Don Nelson is wearing a tie!
He also apparently has learned to use The Force.
(Now if only he could apply it to winning basketball games...)

John Kuester and Rodney Stuckey admire OJ Mayo's, uh, assets

The Big Earplug

Come on, that looks nothing like Kobe! That can't be his!

Nationally Televised Games:
Celtics at Magic: KG steps back on the floor, and suddenly the Celtics remember how to play defense! Funny how that works. All I really can say about this game is that I pray it doesn't resemble their Christmas Day meeting. Ouch. That game was right up there with Sam Cassell and Popeye Jones on the ugly scale. Though it probably wasn't worse than this atrocity.

Mavericks at Suns: Accuscore says Phoenix is a 65% favorite in this game. Screw those guys. Haven't they seen the Suns play in the past month? And most importantly, this game is on TNT. If you need me or AnacondaHL tonight, we'll most likely be found crying near alcoholic beverages. Just letting you know.

All The Other Games:
Raptors at Knicks: Shockingly enough, the Dinos have scored at least 100 points in a franchise-record 11 consecutive games. On the other end of this game, what did Mike D'Antoni have to say about his team's 50-point loss to the Mavs the other night? "We really didn't play well against Dallas." However, the Raptors are on a back-to-back, and the Knicks have fresh legs...

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Blogger Basketbawful said...
I think some kind of hellbeast ate the Shaq from that picture and simply assumed a warped version of his appearance. Kind of like The Bug in Men In Black.

Blogger chris said...
Young Shaq honestly...I just feel like from that photo, he was better with free throws then!!!

Blogger stephanie g said...
LeBron throws a hissy fit after not getting a call and slaps filled cups of gatorade into his own crowd:


I understand that NBA stars are egomaniac prima donnas, but this sort of blatant action breaks my willing suspension of disbelief. My favorite though is when Kobe whines to the refs while the other team runs down court and scores 5v4. Someone could make a pretty funny compilation video of that if they had the dedication.

Blogger Wild Yams said...
That LeBron pic makes me think of the movie Whiteboyz.

I don't know how triumphant KG's return has been as of yet. Home wins against the Clippers (by only 6) and an OT win at home against the Roy-less Frail Blazers (by only 3) aren't exactly confidence inspiring. The next three games will give a much better indicator of where Boston is at, following tonight's game in Orlando with a game in Atlanta tomorrow and a game at home against the Lakers on Sunday.

Blogger chris said...
Yes, the Nyets are using a fan-designed play in their gameplan now. Maybe that's why they upset the Clippers?

(Upsetting the Clippers. That's gotta be a first, ever.)

Blogger chris said...
Meanwhile, Page2 lists some goofy tourist spots in Association cities...

and yes, the LOCAL BOWLING ALLEY was chosen for Sacramento.

Not the tourist trap of Old Sacramento, or the trails of the American River Parkway, or Sutter's Fort...

Country Club Lanes and its 24 hour bowling. (I have been there several times.)

What a choice.

Anonymous DOH said...
read this
Oden's Greg can cause trauma for sportswriters and excuse me while i burst lmao-ing into something ...

Anonymous kazam92 said...
Barkley, like most of us, vehemently arguing David Lee should be an All-star. I hope Al Horford gets hurt. I mean that was just an awful pick. If they had to pick a hawk then pick Josh Smith

Anonymous BW in Cleveland said...

WotN in NBA broadcasting

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Awesome of the Night to Doc Rivers' wife, for reading a book in the stands late in the 4th of a tied game. I'd probably read books too, if I were Doc's wife. You know, to counter the IQ osmosis.

Anonymous BW in Cleveland said...

**chatting and posting on 5 different things at once. Anyone else catching Dal-Phx?

Blogger Drew said...
The tourist spot the chose for Portland (Velveteria) shut down 3 days before this article was published smh.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Rasho with a point in a Mario!

Portland's tourist attraction should have been the Nike Compound, like, every NBA player tweets about shopping there when they have an away game against the Blazers.

...Is it possible that I like Dragic more than Nash this season?

Amare with 0 DRebs tonight so far.

Blogger chris said...
LOL, Nash:

"I'm not going to say anything derogatory about the network" in the wake of that eight jillion or so game TNT losing streak being HISTORY.

Blogger Bakes said...
I'm highly amused that TNT actually just put up this graphic after the horn sounded:

"Suns: First win on TNT in 18 games"

Cheryl Miller also just said while interviewing Nash "By the sound of things you'd think you guys won the championship! How does it feel to win on TNT?"

The look on Nash's face was priceless. His grin pretty much said "I understand the humor, but are you really asking me this?" He grinned ear to ear, paused, and said "Well I'm not gonna say anything derogatory about the network..."

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
That ruled. Amar'''''e plays 0 seconds in the 4th. Suns win. Nash and Dragic are micromanage swapped.

Sheed's airball. Harrington offensive foul. A good night of entertainment.

Blogger Clifton said...
While most will probably give the WotN nomination from tonight's Suns to Amar'''''''''e for deservedly getting benched for the entire 4th quarter, I'm going to have to nominate Earl Clark. Yeah, he got some meaningful PT tonight and hit his first career 3-ball, but just a few minutes after that 3-pointer, he scored a pretty egregious "own hoop" for Dallas.

Gooden took a midrange jumper that was a miss, and as everyone else turned to head up the floor, Clark goes up for the easy rebound and just yakked on it. Didn't look like he was trying to be fancy, but still, the ball ricocheted off his palms, went up off the backboard, and into the hoop. They credited Marion with the basket, although I don't recall him being near Clark when it happened.

Clark knew it was going in, too. You could tell when it kissed off the glass that it was going in, and Clark had already dropped his arms and hung his head before it finished going through the basket.

It was a pretty bad boner (I don't know if it's up there with The Joker's Boner Capers, but it's close), and would have gotten a lot more press if the Suns had lost by a point instead of pulling out the victory.

Anonymous Arlen said...
Wow, SI vault phil jackson:

Looks exactly like the guy from the Mighty Boosh:

(and if you haven't seen the boosh, watch it!)

Anonymous Anonymous said...
mr bawful you are being chased by undercover-nike-agents for posting a picture of lebron wearing a adidas headband and sneakers

Blogger DocZeus said...
Wow, LeBron actually looks 17 in that photo. I don't seem to remember that being the case at the time.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
Wow, LeBron actually looks 17 in that photo. I don't seem to remember that being the case at the time.

Another case of devious photoshoppery. Even then they were covering for his HGH use.