Ah, the weekend. Time for BAD, and time for bad basketball. We're throwing the double-team on you tonight. I'll be covering tonight's games, and Wild Yams will be previewing the Saturday and Sunday games.
In case you didn't know already, there are no ESPN games tonight, but we will have two afternoon games on ABC this Sunday. Oh, and even though I finally got the NBA League Pass Broadband deal, I still won't be able to watch Celtics/Hawks tonight. It's nationally broadcast on NBA TV (which my cable provider does not offer), so it's blacked out from online coverage. Ugh.
Before we move on, you really ought to open this link up in another window and read it for a minute: Gilbert Arenas may be smarter than we thought. Poor Washington. I really do feel bad for you.
Oh, and one word: "Ball."
Worst of the Night in Pictures:
Nationally Televised Friday Games:
Celtics at Hawks: The Hawks who have owned the C's this year? Gimpy KG playing like somebody took out his knee with a shotgun? I don't want to talk about this game. I'm just going to assume this will be another Hawks win and try to move on.
All The Other Friday Games:
Crabs at Pacers: Whenever J.J. Hickson has scored higher than his average of 6.9 points per game, the Crabs are 19-0. Now, the true question: is this statistically relevant, or is it comparable to AnacondaHL's awesome stastical-twisting analysis of the greatness that is Mario West?
Lakers at 76ers: The 76ers actually have won more games on the road than at home this year. Then again, when you only have 15 total wins, that's not that hard to do I suppose...
Bulls at Hornets: Not only have the Bulls managed to win four straight on the road against tough competition, they've held those opponents to 49% shooting. This team never played defense like that last year or earlier this year. Somebody check their shoes for Flubber!
Heat at Pistons: The Heat are already, of course, the "Bipolar Girlfriend at That Time of the Month on Crystal Meth" team of 2009-2010, but now they're also without Michael Beasley? Yeah, this is another one of those "flip a coin" games.
Clippers at Timberwolves: The Los Angeles "They Are Who We Thought They Were" Clippers and the Timberpoops? Facepalm.
Nuggets at Thunder: The Nuggets are on fire like an NBA Jam player, doing everything but dunking from the 3-point-line, and have won 8 straight. The Thunder have dropped three straight. Now watch OKC win this one to confuse us all.
Frail Blazers at Rockets: Houston has lost three straight home games. That hurts, but probably not as much as Brandon Roy's injury.
Grizzlies at Spurs: Accuscore has the Spurs listed as 74% favorites in this game despite Tony Parker's injury. I don't buy that. Then again, they were right about the Suns last night, unlike me, so forget I said anything.
Kings at Jazz: With the way the Jazz are shooting right now, I wouldn't want to be the Purple Paupers. (You know, aside from the whole "making tons of money for playing a game" part.)
Bobcats at Warriors: Ooh. Stephen Jackson's first game at the Oracle Arena since his November trade! This could be fun.
Nationally Televised Saturday Game:
Hawks at Magic: The Hawks are only one game over .500 on the road to begin with, so playing in Orlando one night after playing Boston probably isn't gonna help improve that record much.
All The Other Saturday Games:
Knicks at
Hornets at Grizzlies: Look who's buzzing into Gay-Mayo country this weekend. Maybe CP3 can give first time All Star Zack Randolph some tips about do's and don'ts for when he shows up in Dallas next month.
Heat at Bucks: I'm sure all the guys from Miami and just thrilled to be spending a weekend in late January in picturesque Milwaukee. If depression sets in too bad, the Bucks might get an easy win out of this.
Frail Blazers at Mavs: Here's hoping the local hospitals in Big D have been put on full alert, what with Portland limping into town.
Bobcats at Kings: Charlotte's still looking for their fifth road win on the year, and Sacramento might just be willing to oblige these feisty Cats as newly-named All Star Gerald Wallace goes back to where his whole career began.
Nationally Televised Sunday Games:
Nuggets at Spurs: Are Melo and Tony Parker gonna actually suit up for this one? It's on ABC, after all.
Lakers at Celtics: The last time the Lakers were in Boston on January 31st, the Celtic crowd chanted "MVP" and "Kobe" for Mr. Bryant. I'm guessing that three short years later we won't see a repeat of that on Sunday. Just a hunch.
Suns at Rockets: With the streak of winless games on TNT behind them, Phoenix looks to resume the tailspin they were in. Also, the next time Amar'''''''e plays a game in Texas it might be in a Spurs uniform, so enjoy this current version while you can.
All The Other Sunday Games:
Clippers at Crabs: Oy, this could get ugly. No word yet on whether the Quicken Loans Arena staff has reinforced the Gatorade tray by the Crabs bench, but considering it's The Other LA Team, there's probably no rush on that for now.
Magic at Pistons: Considering Detroit is 10-4 against Orlando over the last two plus seasons, it would appear that they are the Magicians' Walton's foot. Who knew?
76ers at Nyets: Facing some stiff competition from that Knicks-Wolves game below, this one narrowly edged it out to capture Basketbawful Game of the Night honors.
Pacers at Craptors: Toronto's actually looking to drop that 'C' in front of their team's name, especially if they keep up the 14-5 record they've amassed in their last 19 games. Beating weak teams like Indiana at home can go a long way to getting that done.
Knicks at Timberwolves: In the last week these two teams have lost games by 33 and 50, but they also just played each other on Tuesday and NY won by 27, so I'm thinking the Knicks might have a good chance in this one.
Warriors at Thunder: I can't wait to see if Nellie's gonna change his clothes for this game. BTW, check out the first result on Google images for "Don Nelson". Scary.
Labels: Bawful After Dark, Boston fans cheer for Kobe, JJ Hickson is a game changer
45 Comments:
Word of the Day
Previous Posts
Worst of the Night: January 28, 2009Bawful After Dark: January 28, 2010
Worst of the Night: January 27, 2010
Bawful After Dark: Paul Shirley is an Idiot Edition
Worst of the Night: Starring Mr. T
Bawful After Dark: January 26, 2010
Worst of the Night: January 25, 2010
Bawful After Dark: January 25, 2010
Worst of the Weekend: Super quick hits edition
Bawful After Dark, Weekend Watch - January 22, 2010
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Ball.
Which beleaguered member of the Association would make the best TV?
As obvious as "Agent Zero" is for a choice, I almost feel like this deserves something more left-field than that.
Ball.
Anyone remember a commercial with Tim Duncan in it a handful of years ago (I really couldn't say how long ago, but I don't really think more than 10 years...?) where he's buying a car and each time the salesman tries to seal the deal Duncan has his typical blank face on. The salesman gets really uncomfortable under Duncan's gaze and keeps lowering the price and offering him a better package. At the end, when the salesman looks down at his paper, Duncan cracks a very uncharacteristic grin, but snaps back to his stone face when the salesman looks back up.
I don't remember what the commercial was for, though I can probably safely assume it was a Sportscenter commercial or something. I can't for the life of me find the commercial anywhere online. It's one of my favorite commercials of all time and if anyone could find it I'd be pretty damn grateful.
Mostly, I just need verification that this commercial actually existed.
Ball.
So how should they all be "earning" the privilege to be on national TV, just like how the Jersey Shore crew "works" at that t-shirt shop?
6. "The Charles Barkley Show" -- Kenan Thompson portrays Barkley hosting a talk show in a casino to pay back gambling debts. He describes how he got on the Olympic "Dream Team," saying: "I got a call from Michael Jordan, saying 'Hey, you wanna go play poker in Barcelona for two weeks? Here's the catch. We gotta leave the casino for two hours to beat Angola by 80 points.'" Only thing that would have made it better was if they had actually used Barkley.
I do what I do, and that is what has made me successful.
In that same vein, Bruce Ratner does what he does, and that is why the Nyets started this decade off perfect.
---
Dan B.: No, I don't feel bad for Washington, because Abe Pollin and co. gave Hibachi that overwrought blank check after what, two straight first round losses? By that token, then Knee-Mac should have a bigger contract than King Crab, The Truth, and Lord Mamba combined - and hey, Knee-Mac was ALMOST an all-star this year!!!
Wild Yams -- That Don Nelson picture you found is truly bawful. Well done.
(Wait for it, going to combine two of the most recent Bawful memes...)
Ball. And that's a Dan B. quote.
Ball.
Nyets currently pissing away a lead in the 4th quarter. They led essentially the whole game and are now losing by three points as Earl Boykins took over in the latter statges of the 3rd quarter off the bench.
Is this the commercial to which you are referring:
http://spurs.fandome.com/video/75379/Tim-Duncan-AmEx-Commercial/ ?
And man, I love me some Nets failure. I don't know why.
Worst-of nominations for:
The Pacers: Nine points in the fourth quarter; way to turn it on.
LeBron and the Cavs in general: I mean, LeBron was awesome (22 points, 13 assists), but he was only 10 of 17 on free throws, and the Cavs overall were 23 of 44. That's an awful lot of points to leave on the table.
Also, I didn't watch the game, and the Pacers shot 23 more field goal attempts than the Cavs, but they only shot five free throws. Seems to be so low it's an outlier!
Pacers' gunners: Granger was 6 of 23; Hibbert was 2 of 9; Brandon Rush was 5 of 14; Dunleavy was 2 of 8. But if everyone's shooting terrible, to whom do you pass, I guess, huh?
Oh sweet mercy thank you
YOUR WISH HAS BEEN GRANTED
Mario West is BACK IN LACKTION where it all began, with only 26 seconds of court time tonight that no doubt will make Shigeru Miyamoto proud!!!
Oh, against the Kings, gotcha.
5: The Clippers' Chris Kaman, edged out of an All-Star berth by Randolph, recently became just the fifth center in the league to post two 20-point games in the same season in head-to-head starts against Washington's Brendan Haywood. The others: Shaquille O'Neal (2004-05 season and 2005-06), Orlando's Dwight Howard (2006-07), Milwaukee's Andrew Bogut (2007-08) and Phoenix's Amare Stoudemire (2007-2008).
Seriously, I had to read that four times before it actually made sense. Then I realised they were talking about Brendan Haywood. Then it didn't make sense again.
Someone please explain.
What if Turkoglu was attributing his performance to the wicked Assyrian/Carthaginian god "Baal", and just mispronounced it? (I think it's pronounced BAY-al, but it sure looks like "ball".)
Anyway- that would make his answer make a lot of sense.
They were only down 56-54 at the half.
Charlotte is now on a 27-5 run, with 2:52 left in the third.
The Kings have made it a 5 point game at times in the 4th quarter...
So why did they have to collapse in the 3rd in every way possible to make this another moral victory?
Bobcats leading 102-96 and about to take the ball with 17 seconds left.
sigh.
Also, I nominate the Nuggets for getting outscored 52-18 (I think) in the paint by the Thunder. Not a recipie for success.
As a Nuggets fan, I was already cringing about 3 minutes into the game. The Thunder were being super physical, and I was yelling at the refs to call something (most games, they woulda.) When I realized they were going to allow that level of play, I was yelling at the Nugs to match the Thunder's physicality... but wouldn't you know it, a team the haters have called the "Thuggets" for years -- a team with guys like KMart and Nene -- couldn't match the physicality of such rough-and-tumble guys as Nenad Kristic and Nick Collison. I eventually had to shut the game off because my infant son was picking up on my rage and starting to get angry himself.
All ball.
ESPN and the NBA get the gasface for this nonsense.
BTW, did anyone notice that the announcers today mentioned it had been three years to the day since the Boston crowd chanted "MVP" for Kobe? I wonder if someone over at ABC is reading this site.
Still, the Lakers were up 11 after the 1st, then blew that lead until they were down by 11. At least they got it over with early, instead of blowing it late and losing.
They have the most back-2-backs on the road (the hardest games to win) at 18. Cleveland, Boston, Orlando and Denver have 11, 11, 13, and 15 respectively.
They actually catch opponents on a back-2-back the least amount as well (only 9 times, and only 3 of those are at Staples). This is 5 less games than the next unfortunate team (Portland and Oklahoma at 14). Compare this with Denver, who catches tired opponents an astonishing 24 times.
Just as an example of this, when the Lakers go to Memphis tomorrow it will be the 8th game of this current road trip (the longest road trip any team in the league will take this season), and tomorrow will be their third back to back game on this road trip alone. If anyone should be complaining about the schedule this year, it's LA. Boston having to play three tough opponents in a row is no real excuse for losing, and that's especially true when they go on to lose all three games. I'm just sayin'.
Also, while I have a love/hate relationship with that imp Van Gundy, at least somebody complained about Garnett's constant moving screens.
"Last play... I'm gonna take responsibility for that [really now]... We tried to run something that was perhaps a little tricky [so you AND the players were too stupid to pull it off. Got it.]... It was basically a series of flairs is what it ends up, uhm, but, it was a play you typically run from the full court, and we tried to run it at the half court [you are all awful]..."
Let's see...46 points in the first quarter, 13 of 17 from 3 point range, and 23 for LeBron...more than Kobe scored all day and more than the Clippers scored in the first quarter.
It turns out the Chicago Bulls set a record...for winning!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tLYKgrWdoXc
Here, have a free Will Perdue mixtape.