Hey everyone, it's Lacktion Chris stepping in for the usuals for this middling Monday of basketball activity. (Or, considering there are only three games, is that lacktivity I sense?!)

First off are some goofy photos (all courtesy of Dan B.)...

Worst of the Weekend in Pictures:
20100205-pacers-fan WOO! Pacers basketball!!!

20100205-brendan-haywood-earl-boykins "Didn't you just get in trouble with the law or something?"
"For the last time, man, I'm not Gary Coleman!"

20100205-birdman-andersen The Birdman without 8 pounds of hair product... Yeah, still weird

20100205-mike-dantoni-facepalm20100205-kings-bench20100205-jamaal-tinsley A tribute to failure and shame
Bawful Trade of the Day:
And now, my choice for TRADE OF THE DAY. It manages to not only bring three null-star heroes together, but there's also a seafood shipment to Fulton County, Georgia!

Courtesy of Matt:
I figure the Hawks wouldn't be able to pass up moving a known SWAC in crawford to get the lacktion jackson twins even if it means they have to part with zaza "superstar" pachulia.

Oh yeah. And that Lebron guy added as a throw-in is pretty decent too.

Now on to the game previews...

Nationally Televised Games:
Hornets-Magic: Fresh off of quashing the frail and aged Celtics, Puma Man and the alchemists look to come up with a formula to extinguish the buzzers - and considering that CP3 is still in the medical hive, let's just say that Stan Van Gundy won't need to conjure up the recipe for "Extra Strength Raid."

Spurs-Lakers: Last time these two teams met, San Antonio shockingly held Mamba 50% healthy Mamba and Gasol and their brethren to only 85 points - but that was at AT&T Center back in Texas, where bottles of oxygen and Life-Call devices were in easy supply, and not on Figueroa Street, where tonight's game will be held.

All The Other Games:
Mavs-Warriors: In the first two rounds of the continuing Nellieball Dispute, no team has attempted to prevent the other from scoring 101 or more points. Expect more of the same in East Oakland, where firepower will once again be emphasized over anything even resembling backcourt protection. Will Nowitski and company guarantee a contract extension for Monta Ellis!?!?

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Blogger chris said...
BTW, in the background of "Wooo!," Sad Kid represents what it's like to be watching "basketball" at Conseco Fieldhouse, a barn sponsored by a once-bankrupt company that actually threw yen, er dollars, at the pathetic Indy Racing League.

Not pictured:

Even Sadder Kid, who never got the chance to experience NBA basketball in Louisville because the Pacers were chosen over the Colonels. (I assume that that's you, Dan B. ;) )

Blogger stephanie g said...
A funny commercial I've never seen before but must be pretty old:


A parody of those godawful MVPuppet commercials (NSFW language):


Blogger Will said...
It cracks me up that Cedric "the Entertainer" Jackson makes $53,000.

Blogger Eugene said...
Maybe this is a case of plucking low-hanging fruit, but here's a bawful trade: why not just bypass all of the free agent drama of the coming summer and give the Knicks everybody right now? My favorite part of the trade is swapping Larry Hughes for Dwyane Wade straight up. The beauty of it is that when Bosh, Wade, and King Crab are on the floor together, either Chris Duhon or Nate Robinson will be running the offense for them. I hope Nate doesn't compromise his principles and lower his usage rate.


Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Ahahaha, on a short week, Vince Carter is single handidly winning my fantasy hoops matchup.

Anonymous kazam92 said...
So who reanimated Vince Carter's rotting corpse? Works for me as he too is on my fantasy team

Anonymous Luke said...
Hilton's video is the mother of all bawfulness. He's fail is just awesome. Two things stand out:

(1) I love how at 0:06 his high five is not returned by Dragic.

(2) He goes for the steal but doesn't even get it. The ball goes out of bounds as time expires.


Anonymous The Other Chris said...
VC drops 48? Ugh. It's harder to mock him when he's actually playing up to a fraction of his limitless potential. What happened to being completely outplayed by - wait for it - JJ Reddick? I hope for the swift return of those happy days.

It's still not hard to hate him, though, I'll always do that.

Anonymous Ryan said...

Here's a good Hedo Turkoglu newspaper appearance. funny shit.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Wow Chris please stop writing...or get your facts straight please! You said that the Spurs held Kobe and Pau to 86 points last time they met!? First of all, Kobe left that game early due to injury...and Pau didnt play AT ALL!!! You fail Chris. Wheres the other guy.

Blogger chris said...
Anonymous: Hey, I like that bargain. I'll go ahead and stop writing.

...I never said how long I'd stop, so I'll start again.

Gee, sorry I don't follow Laker games with the same intensity as Jack Nicholson, and thus didn't realize that Marc Gasol's brother wasn't there that night, thus proving to be much more of an important absence than when Lord Mamba takes a night off.

Blogger JFK said...
How about Dwight Howard straight up for Yao Ming?


No way Orlando turns that down, think of the Chinese market they'd be exposed to.