Mike Dunleavy could use these words of advice from The Big Motivator
(h/t Big Bad Carter AKA Greg)
We're bringing the double-team on you again this weekend. I've got the top half, and Chris
has written up our game previews.
It's Super Bowl weekend! I just don't really care all that much. I want to not
like Indianapolis, but it's hard to not like Peyton Manning. And I didn't really care about the Saints before this season, but they're a fun team and it'd be nice to see them win the Super Bowl too. There needs to be a more good/evil type of game for the Super Bowl to really be interesting in my opinion. Or if the Steelers are playing.
Okay, maybe I should clarify so I don't sound like a crappy bandwagon fan. I'm not from Pittsburgh, I've never been there, I don't really care that much about the city itself. However, I am a Steelers fan. My dad became a Steelers fan during the Steel Curtain era 70s, and therefore I was raised watching them. Watching all of those games with my dad... it became our
team. I even somehow survived the Kordell Stewart era, but it wasn't easy (Thank God I was too young to remember the Bubby Brister era). Also, coincidentally, I'm also a Pittsburgh Penguins fan. In their case, I already liked the energetic, exciting team in the 1999-2000 area, but I totally bandwagoned on when Mario Lemieux came out of retirement. It's hard not to root for one of the absolute best players ever
coming back from cancer, right? I even stuck by them through the Dark Ages
of Lemieux injuries and people like Milan Kraft, Randy Robitaille, and Dan Focht playing significant minutes. It was a black hole of failure and sadness the likes of which I hadn't seen since each and every Detroit Lions season in the past decade or five. (Thank God for Crosby, Malkin, Fleury, Staal, Talbot, etc
But, uh, anyway... go Colts and/or Saints!
Planning on driving to a Super Bowl party this weekend? Better check the weather before hitting the road. Pressed for time and need just a quick summary? Family Guy fans should use this site
. Thanks, Ollie.Mike Dumbleavy Memorial:
It is a time of mourning here at Basketbawful. As noted in the Worst of the Night, Mike Dunleavy has agreed to step down as head coach of the Clippers. While we are ecstatic that he will continue to be the General Manager, and therefore likely to follow some of the trade advice offered in our Bad Trades feature, we are deeply saddened that we will no longer see him on the sidelines. Looking sad, looking angry, looking confused, looking confused some more, and looking confused again for good measure provided golden opportunity for photographic evidence of the failure of the Clippers. We need to honor this. Please help us find all the best Dunleavy pictures we can get. Post them in the comments, or you may e-mail them to Bawful
or to me
. Next week, we will post a special pictorial retrospective of Dunleavey's coaching career with The Other L.A. Team.Bawful Trade of the Day:
Lots of trades because it's the weekend, and also because it'd be just mean to only share one per day.Trade #1
Here's a four-team painfest
from reader Mike T:
Crabs (+5 wins) receive: Boozer and Okur
Jazz (-11 wins) receive: Bonner, Nash, Robin Lopez
Suns (-6 wins) receive: Shaq, Ginobili
Spurs (-7 wins) receive: Amar'''''e
"I wanted to send Boozer to Cleveland, Shaq to Phoenix, Amar'eee to San Antonio and Ginobili to Phoenix since all of those fan bases have reason to hate the player they are acquiring. In the process I was also able to send 3 white guys to Utah. I was amazed that this was successful."
So wrong, yet so right. Great bad trade, Mike T.Trade #2
Stockton contributed this gem
, which I like almost as much as his namesake:
Bricks (+9 wins) receive: Devin Harris, Brook Lopez, Tony Battie, Chairman Yi, and Bobby Simmons
Nyets (-9 wins) receive: Eddy Curry, Cuttino Mobley, Darko Milicic, and Jordan Hill
"Nets projected to win less 9 with this trade. This would means they would finish with a 82/-1 record or something?"
Close. They'll alter the schedule so the Nyets can play a bunch of extra games against the Globetrotters or a local high school team or something just so they can validate taking on Eddy Curry's obscenely huge contract.Trade #3Alex
brings us a whitewash
Pacers (-27 wins) receive: Korver, Ridnour, Alexander, Gadzuric, and four trade exceptions
Bucks (+3 wins) receive: Ford, Granger, Price, Koufos
Jazz (+4 wins) receive: Solomon Jones, Dahntay Jones, Dorell Wright, Hibbert, Cook
Heat (-2 wins) receive: Rush, Watson, Head
"it took a little effort, but i was not only able to make the pacers a team made of only non-international white guys, but also made them 10 wins worse. so proud."
I'm proud of you, too.Bonus trade #1
In a last-second entry before I finished this post, Wolfe delivered pure gold
Hawks (-1 win) receive: Steve Novak, Darnell Jackson, Fabricio Oberto, Cedric Jackson, Sebastian Telfair, Ricky Davis
Crabs (+0 wins)receive Jason Collins
BUllets (+0 wins) receive Maurice Evans
Clippers (+0 wins) receive Mike Bibby
"It would let the Hawks to start next line up:
G: Cedric "Lacktion II: Electric Boogaloo" Jackson
SG: Mario West
SF: Steve Novak
PF: Darnell Lacktion Jackson
C: Faboulous Fabricio Oberto
I'd rather prefer to form this team on the Clippers, but you can't trade Mario, and you must have Mario in a real Most-Lacktator-ever team."
Hard to argue with that.Bonus trade #2
Basketbawful reader Kevin King shares this gem (sorry, no link to the trade):
Washington Bullets: (+2 wins) receive: Andre Miller, Vanilla Godzilla
Boston Celtics: (+7 wins) receive: Greg Oden, Martell Webster (who?) (I tried to put in Roy, but it kept coming up as a trade fail, even the Trade Machine isn't that stupid)
Portland FrailBlazers: (-18 wins) receive: Gilbert Arenas, Javaris Crittenton, Rasheed Wallace, Brian Scalabrine (becaue we all want to see a pasty white guy hang out with real thugs)
"Wallace can teach a new generation (Arenas/Crittenton) how to handle their pro basketball careers while still having constant run-ins with the law. P.S. Losing two players that don't even play anymore has somehow given the Bullets two more wins on the season."
No offense Portland fans (I enjoy watching your team, seriously), but the rebirth of the Jail Blazers is hard to pass up. And I'm not exactly sure how Greg Oden's prehistoric knees help Boston, but I'm just going to assume Hollinger's advanced metrics are screwing us again. Fair assumption? Fair assumption.Bonus trade #3
In honor of the Clippers losing head coach Mike Dunleavy to give him more free time to screw up the team with bad trades and free agency signings, here's a trade suggestion
from, well, me.
Clippers (-11 wins) receive: Adam Morrison, Sasha Vujacic, DJ Mbenga, Luke Walton, Eddy Curry, Chris Duhon, and Darko Milicic
Lakers (+6 wins) receive: Blake Griffin, Marcus Camby, Eric Gordon, and a trade exception
Bricks( +8 wins) receive: Chris Kaman and Baron Davis.
This seems logical to Mike Dunleavy, right?Worst of the Night in Pictures: "Damnit! My Rogaine regimen isn't working!" "You hit a 3, Little Buddy? Aww! That's so cute!" Sad D-Wade is sad. :( The Big Respect Machine A Darnell "Lacktion" Jackson sighting! A rare find.
Now I'll hand it off to Chris for the game previews...Nationally Televised Friday Games:Bulls-Hawks:
The Bulls are rapidly becoming the bipolar team of the month - they have trouble with bawful teams (as evidenced with The Comeback and with those losses to the Nyets and Clippers), but look great against over-500 squads. So this should play right into Vinnie Smallz's hands!Nuggets-Lakers:
If Lord Mamba chooses to play hurt for this game, could we see another SWAC-worthy 5-point performance like the one he dropped on the Bobcats?All The Other Friday Games:Bullets-Magic:
Even if the illusionists from Orlando aren't entirely convincing as contenders, a visit from the beleaguered Beltway dwellers should provide a ho-hum addition to the win column.Pistons-Pacers:
Hey everybody, it's the highly unanticipated rematch of the two squads from the Malice at the Palace. Possibly the Bawful Game Of The Night by default, though certainly a great choice for curing insomnia.Nyets-Celtics:
The Truth, like KG, is the latest to qualify for Medicare in Beantown...but how can anyone tell when they're coming up against a team showing fewer signs of life
than Jimmy Hoffa?
BTW, since Devin Harris's infamous stat curse, the ruble-rousers are now 27-84 (meaning they have lost more games than an entire season's worth of ball in that timespan!). I would be far from shocked if it was 24-85 after this visit to the TDGaaahden.Bucks-Knicks:
Milwaukee's 13 games under .500 on the road, but the Knicks are two games under .500 at MSG. Something's gotta give...I think.Rockets-Grizzlies:
Z-Bo, All-Star...has the Grizzlies matching Houston's hobbled record so far, so that 75% winning percentage at FedEx Forum should bode well for the man who has graduated out of the Basketbawful banner.Sixers-Hornets:
Even without CP3, I doubt the Cancer's new "devotion to team play" will change the fact that this game was probably decided the moment Elton Brand cashed his first bloated paycheck.Wolves-Mavs:
Remember when everyone predicted that the Timberpoops would be right up with the Nyets for record-setting bawful? With Minnesota amazingly making it to 11 wins so far, I guess Coach Clothesline can accomplish a few small miracles once in a while.Suns-Kings:
So let me guess, the Paupers will lead by 15 at the half, then go down by 10 with 2 minutes to go with the help of Mr. Discount Store's recurring blue light special for masonry...then have Tyreke the Freak lead them to another two-point loss? It's not like the month and a quarter since The Comeback has provided anything different.Nationally Televised Saturday Games:Heat-Bulls:
Two teams who cannot decide if they are good or not will match up in a battle to prove which one is more mediocre! D-Wade and Derrick Rose must really be loving the Leastern Conference right about now...All The Other Saturday Games:Hornets-Bobcats:
George Shinn will be in attendance, right? Ahem, guess not.Hawks-Bullets:
The dirty birds won't have to worry too much if they're going to be riddled by mostly blanks and paintballs in the Phonebooth.Knicks-Crabs:
So now the 'bockers are going to go to the Q and audition themselves once again for King Crab, and this time with the ENDORSEMENT OF ZEKE HIMSELF! What, they couldn't have called up someone with a more positive legacy to sell Manhattan to Bron-Bron, someone like Big Snacks or Allan Houston's contract?Nyets-Pistons:
Hey, Oakland County might be the one place where the Nyets have some hope of winning...just as folks at Mat's alma mater had hope he was the next Big Voskuhl! Yeah.Grizzlies-Wolves:
With the baby cubs in the midst of a playoff push, Z-Bo must love the chance to feast on such sucktacularity in Minneapolis.Sixers-Rockets:
In the highly unanticipated battle of Teams Charles Barkley Used To Play For, the chances of Clutch the Bear doing a victory jig are slightly higher than the chances that Clutch's "rejected fan wedding proposal" video
It's a matchup that screams "Mid-Market 1970s" doesn't it?Nuggets-Jazz:
Ever since Dan declared the Jazz as one of the bipolar teams in the Association, well...they've gotten hot, and they've won 75% of their home games, so Melo and Chauncey will have it a bit tough at the EnergySolutions Arena.Lakers-Frail Blazers:
So far, the Frail Blazers seeming secret to success is to continue racking up the medical bills while putting in an increasingly aging set of bench players (I'm talking about you, Juwan Howard) back into the fray. With Kobe still not at 100%, the Rose Garden may yet again be a thorn in the side of Phil Jackson.Spurs-Clippers:
Before Dumbleavy's self-dismissal as coach, this matchup would have resembled a coaching battle between Einstein and a stick. Now, with Kim Hughes coming in to save the day for Staples Center's third tenant...well...I think the analogy still applies, doesn't it? Who of average-to-above-average mind would voluntarily coach the Clippers anyway?Thunder-Warriors:
Just like Brandon Jennings earlier this year, Kevin Durant has an opportunity here to set personal scoring records, what with the residents of The Oracle being allergic to protecting their own backcourt due to their Nellieball infections.Nationally Televised Sunday Games:Magic-Celtics:
So The Truth supposedly wants to be back in the fold by this game...but with he and KG amongst others finding their creaky bones not up to snuff for the rigors of professional basketball, Pumaman won't even have to learn a new post move to rack up the points in the paint!All The Other Sunday Games:Kings-Raptors:
Canada may still be tangentially attached to royalty, but Mr. Discount Store crying for foul calls hardly resembles Henry the VIII's marriage denunciations.
Labels: Bawful After Dark, Bawful Trade of the Day, Mike Dunleavy Sr.