The Philadelphia 76ers: As if to add more misfortune to the Sixers' season of woe, Elton Brand suffered a shoulder dislocation after attempting to block a shot by Bucks forward Luc Mbah a Moute Labia mud charm toucher. Brand went up, up, up and then fell down, down, down. Hard. Insult added to injury: He got whistled for the foul. No word as of yet if and how long Brand will be sidelined.

Now, here's a little theory I have. Let's assume Brand misses, say, a month. You just watch. Philly will start fast breaking again -- which was their bread and butter last season -- and go on a little mini-streak in Brand's absence. Seriously.

I'll tell you what: If anything, this incident proves that Zach Randolph is an upgrade (for the Clippers) over Elton Brand in one specific area. He will never, ever suffer a serious injury while trying to play defense. I promise you that.

Pictured: Something Zach Randolphwill never do. Play defense.
Scott Skiles, anger machine: The thing I really appreciated about Skiles when he was coaching in Chicago is that he doesn't mince words. He tells it like he sees it. This is quite a departure from what I hear out of Vinny Del Negro, who talks about his team like he's deathly afraid of offending someone. Walking on eggshells might spare a few egos, but spare the rod, spoil the child, you know?

However, I've noticed that Skiles' disgust is growing with every game his team drops. It's like every loss is a Dixie cup full of rat droppings and bug parts getting poured down his gullet. Here's what he said after his team's latest loss: "We had a bunch of guys who looked like they didn't feel like playing from the opening tip. We were just heavy-legged, slow-footed. We couldn't get up and down the floor and had tremendous trouble guarding them. We got exactly what we deserved. I'm bewildered by my team. I've got a really bad taste in my mouth. It was a very poor all-around effort by us." I can kinda see where he's coming from, considering the team's two biggest investments -- Michael Redd and Andrew Bogut -- combined for 12 points (plus Redd shot 2-for-13 and Bogut had a game-high 4 turnovers). But still, it's awfully early to start alienating your team. Which, as we all know, is a Skiles specialty.

Danny Granger, reality defier: You might not know this since he's a Pacer and all, but Granger signed a five-year extension worth up to $65 million earlier this season. And, despite the big payday, he's gotten better. Much better, actually. Granger's currently averaging career highs in scoring (24.4), assists (3.2), blocks (1.4) and free throw percentage (88.2) while also chipping in 5.3 rebounds per game. Oh, and his PER has jumped from 16.7 to 20.1. Last night, he scored 13 of his game-high 41 points in the final six and a half minutes to lead the Pacers to victory. He also had 11 rebounds and 6 assists, and was 17-for-17 from the foul line. I guess not everybody suffers from the Contract Year Phenomenon.

And sure, he exploded against the Warriors' non-defense, but still...Indy was without starters T.J. Ford (left groin strain) and Troy Murphy (flu-like symptoms!). I mean, come on, the Pacers haven't had a step-it-up type player since Reggie Miller retired.

The Golden State Warriors: Did I mention they gave up 127 points and got pounded on the boards by a Pacers team that was missing two of its best players? Well, they did.

Corey Maggette: I read in the AP game notes that Maggette is still out with that strained right hamstring and that he's played in only 16 of the Warriors' 25 games. This reminded me of an email I recently received from Basketbawful reader Mark L, who claimed to have a new nickname for Mags: "They've started to call him 'Bad Porn' at various Warriors boards. Their justification? 'Sure, there's penetration and scoring, but are you really happy with what you're seeing?'" I loved this one so much that I wanted to lock it in my storage space and keep it from the rest of the world. Then I realized that the rest of the worlds' needs are greater than my own. There's not need to thank me. (But really, there is. So, you know, thank me and stuff.)

Bill Walton, man love quote machine: From Andrei: "Ok, I have a submission for either the 'quote machine' or 'man love' features, possibly both. On the pre-game show for the Celtics-Hawks game I just heard Bill Walton say 'Stuart, I love the little pretty boys' in reference to Chris Paul and Tony Parker. Anyone else pick up on that?" Yes. Gotta love The Walton.

Joe Johnson: Look, on the surface, it might look like there's a lot to criticize about the Celtics-Hawks game. Boston shot 44 percent and Atlanta shot 36 percent. The teams combined for 27 turnovers which is a lot for such a low-possession game. But the mitigating factor is that this was a rivalry game played with MAN-type intensity. In the end, the Celtics won it because, quite simply, they made the plays they had to make down the stretch (especially KG, who was 5-for-5 in the fourth quarter and also had a couple sweet assists to Kendrick Perkins and Rajon Rondo).

But still, the Hawks could have won this game if Joe Cool had played a little better. Johnson was 6-for-16 and only 1-for-7 from downtown, but his biggest boner of the night was blowing the second of two free throws with 2.7 seconds. Hitting it would have tied the game. Missing it, well, pretty much lost the game. He had been 7-for-7 before the clank. Said Johnson: "I had a chance to get us into overtime and missed the second free throw. I made the first one and some of the pressure was off." Some...but apparently not enough. The best/worst part: The Atlanta fans were chanting "M-V-P!" during Johnson's trips to the line. Speaking of of the fans...

Atlanta "fans": I noticed several Lakers jerseys/sweatshirts/whatever in the Atlanta crowd, including one Kareem jersey. What's up with that?

Glen Davis: From Chris: "Another gem from tonight's broadcast: the video from practice where Big Baby slipped on the Phillips Arena floor while in sweatpants and all. I wonder if that's going to be on YouTube any time soon." Not yet, alas. Almost (but not quite) as good as watching Baby fall on his face was hearing Mark Jackson freak out and say "Big Baby, you're better than that!" afterward. Uh, Mark, I don't know which Glen Davis YOU'VE been watching this season...

Ray Allen, unintentionally dirty quote machine: From Michael W: "Not sure if this qualifies as unintentionally dirty quote machine, but Ray Allen is credited with this little gem after the BOS-ATL match (via ESPN match report): 'Sometimes it seems as though it's a burden. That monkey grows. It's a good monkey though.' Better than a bad monkey, Ray. Or a monkey with a knife. Plus he shot 1-of-8 from downtown which surely qualifies for a Worstie." Yeah. He missed a lot of threes. But they were good misses.

Marvin Williams: Basketbawful reader Aram sent in this picture of M-Will giving Paul Pierce "The Bad Touch." Only Paul's face says that was "The Really Bad Touch."

Huh. I guess Williams CAN handle the Truth...

The Toronto Raptors: Check out this smackdown from the AP game recap: "Down by 12 points after one quarter, the Dallas Mavericks knew better than to panic. Instead, they waited for the struggling Toronto Raptors to crack. It didn’t take long." Added Jason Terry: "We knew they blew a big lead the other night, so we didn't get down (after the first). We just said 'Keep grinding. If we can put some doubt in their mind they may fold,' and that's what we were able to do in the second and third quarter." And a little more from Devean George: "The whole team looked frustrated, some doubt started to come into their mind. They started off smoking, but it's a 48 minute game. When you see guys going, 'Not again,' that kind of feeds into the other team. We all kind of sensed that. They were really frustrated when things weren’t going right and we started making a run."

Okay, when opposing teams and even the Associated Press know they can count on you to collapse...that's bad. The dinos have now lost three straight and are 2-6 since Jay Triano replaced Sam Mitchell.

Chris Bosh: Did he struggle? Yeah, I guess you could call scoring only 12 points on 6-for-20 shooting "struggling." He also went 0-for-5 in the third quarter, which included a missed dunk. It was a performance, both individually and as a team that was well worth booing, but Bosh wasn't happy when that exact thing happened...

The Toronto crowd: Look, we all understand why you guys are happy. You live in Canada and your team sucks more than expected. But they can't rally if you don't support them. What the Raptors need now is love, sweet love, it's the only thing that there's just too little of. Just ask Chris Bosh: "If I want to get booed, I'll go on the road. It's really tense right now. When you're down three points at home and you're getting booed, that's kind of disheartening. Whether the crowd knows it or not, they play a big part in the game." Again, I understand the reasons behind the booing, but you know, he has a point.

The Utah Jazz's first quarter: Gak, what a bad start by the Jazz. They shot 3-for-19 (16 percent) -- which included streaks of six and later eight misses in a row -- and had 7 turnovers. And it took a Morris Almond jumper with 2.8 seconds left to avoid matching the worst quarter in franchise history. (Utah scored five points in the second quarter against the Lakers on December 1, 1981.) After that misguided mess of basketball, the Jazz found themselves down 27-7. Fortunately, they were facing...

The New Jersey Nets: Yes, my friends, they are who we thought they were. The Nets choked up a 22-point lead and ended up losing by 11 (and dropped to 4-8 at home in the process). It was the largest lead they've wasted since January 29, 2001 when they surrendered a 23-point lead to a 23-win Vancouver Grizzlies team. The Nets let the Jazz score 72 points on 64 percent shooting in the second half while getting outrebounded 53-36. Fail.

The Washington Wizards: Here are the facts. Do with them what you will. The Wiz scored 74 points on 33 percent shooting. They missed nine free throws and had only 13 assists (and 12 turnovers). They fell to 4-19, which makes them only two games better than the Klahma City Thunder. And Mike James is now their starting point guard. Yes, they suck. They suck bad. Speaking of James...

Mike James, quote machine: "I keep saying I'm grateful this is the Eastern Conference. You can be 10 games under .500 and still be playing for the eighth (playoff) spot." Uh, yeah, Mike...only you guys are 15 games under .500 and a full SEVEN games out of eighth place. But don't let little things like math and reality stand in the way of your delusions of mediocrity.

Rasheed Wallace: It has been said that 'Sheed plays better after getting T'd up. Well, he earned a tech last night and yet finished with 2 points on 1-for-8 shooting (including 0-for-4 from distance) and only 4 rebounds. So, you know, maybe what's known isn't what's known.

The Minnesota Timberwolves: Not that anybody expected them to beat the Cavs, but they still lost by 23 points at home. It was their 11th straight defeat and sixth in a row since Kevin McHale took over the coaching reigns. But since McHale thinks that bloggers are costing coaches their jobs, I'm not going to say anything.

Rashad McCants: The line: 0-for-8, 2 points, 3 fouls. He doesn't even deserve a one-liner. Meh, to you, Rashad. Meh, I say!

Eric Gordon: He earned "True Clipper" status last night by fouling Ben Gordon on a three-point attempt when his team was leading by 4 points with 20 seconds left. Ben hit the shot and the ensuing free throw to tie things up. The game went into overtime and the Clippers, naturally, lost. Gordon, who also committed a critical turnover in overtime, was not available for comment after the game.

By the way, after the loss, Timothy P sent me the following email: "Just wanted to say thanks for the curse...'By the way, has anybody noticed that Zach Randolph is fitting in really well with the Clippers? In point of fact, he's playing a lot better than post-surgery Elton Brand. And the Clips have won three in a row. Who knows? It could turn out that Brand leaving was a good thing for the other L.A. team.' You managed to write this the same day Brand did a flying pirouette over somebody's shoulder, landed upside down, and dislocated his own shoulder. But who knows? It could turn out that Brand getting hurt is a good thing for the Sixers."

Yeah. Sorry 'bout that Clippers fan. I know what it looks like, but I really wasn't going for the stat curse just 'cause I live in Chicago and support the Bulls and knew the Clips were coming into town last night. Really I wasn't...

Andres Nocioni: Noc forced a big turnover in overtime when he flopped to the floor while defending Zach Randolph. And the NBA said they were going to stop the flop! Z-Bo was pretty angry, both at the time and after the game. And so was Marcus Camby: "It's frustrating because everybody in the league, everybody in the building knows what he does. He flops, but he got the benefited of the call tonight so we just have to take this one on the chin and we have try to regroup and we have two more games on this road trip." No bitterness there. None at all.

Spurs versus Hornets: Chris Paul set an NBA record for getting a steal in his 106th straight regular-season game while Tim Duncan passed the 10,000 career rebound mark. So, yeah, history was made, but that did not make this a game worth watching. Ugly. I walked away to do some things and came back early in the second quarter...and it was 15-14. The Spurs also scored only 13 in the fourth. Painful. Like a giant cyst on your back that's about to burst. And then you realize it's filled with crawling insects.

Also, an anonymous commenter asked me to mention the following two bonus pooper scoopers: "Hey Bawful, in the next WotN can you mention the stat curse the commentators put on Matt Bonner. They were talking about his league leading three-point percentage only to have him go 1-8 from downtown and 3-15 altogether. Although in hindsight it is Matt Bonner, so it probably wasnt a stat curse just matt being normal. And also the random Hornets employee who wouldn't let the fans manning the CP3 steal count put it upto 106. He was standing there telling them not to do it. even while the fans were cheering CP3 and there was an announcement about him getting the record." Consider it mentioned, Mr. Anonymous. Also, d'you suppose that having Bonner attempt eight threes was really part of Pop's game plan? I tend to think not so much.

Manu Ginobili: Basketbawful reader Garron noted: "Great game. But, down by 4 with 30 seconds left he lost miserably on a jump ball against '6-foot on a very good day' Chris Paul." True dat. The only change I would make is "6-foot while standing on a couple decks of cards and maybe a small block of wood."

Evil Ted Addendum (spurs/hornets): At one point late in this game, Tyson Chandler was called for goaltending. It was a legit and fairly obvious call, so nothing horrible there...but Jeff Van Gundy proceeds with a mini-rant that sounds something like "I don't know how any human being could possibly detect goaltending...they should have balls that light up when they start on their downward arc...I seriously have no idea how a human could possibly call a goaltend..." I found it very disturbing to hear a commentator AND former coach say something so dumb about one of the most straightforward aspects of the game - ball going down, no touchie. Maybe Gundy just enjoys the sound of his own voice?

The Laction report: Basketbawful reader Chris was kind (or perhaps obsessed) enough to compile all the trillionaires, suck differentialists and Mario brothers of the night:

Even with ESPN cameras on for two games, it couldn't stop some of the best practitioners of lactivity from shining brightly (or is that "fading dimly" in this context), even in one of those two national games! And, being doubly inspired tonight, I decided to do a salary comparison between their on-court non-performance and their actual earnings, to see how much randomly standing on the floor, or negatively contributing to the team, can be worth.

(BTW, I still haven't decided what term is best for a suck differentialist -- a "vacuum" or a "lollipop", I think a "vacuum" has to especially suck, say have a double digit SD or more than 10 minutes of playing time with a SD, while a lollipop has a single digit SD in less than 10 minutes of playing time.)

Shawne Williams of the Mavs ($1,572,960 this year/$19,182.44 a game) was one field goal away from a +4 in a full 10 minute lacktion session -- about $5000 for each SD marker he accrued; on the other side of the court, Kris Humphries ($3,200,000 this year/$39,024.39 a game) was a +1 in 1:53 of playing time for the Raptors, his missed field goal squandering away a revenue-generating opportunity. Guess you can't trust Humphries with your 401(k).

The Wizards' JaVale Mcgee was a steal away from a +1 in 2:31 of lacktion - is that a "Non-Trillion Almost As Valuable As Others?" It did help contribute to a 14 point loss, though it did not make him wealthy. (In real dollars though, he makes $1,392,240 this year, which is $16,978.54 a game.)

CJ Miles for Utah, in trying to become a true lollipop, was a +4 in a whopping 6:28 of playing time -- as a starter! -- and while +/- is not considered for SD numbers, he was -12, truly making him a Minus Man. (6 players for the Jazz -- FOUR from the bench had double digit positive +/- numbers tonight.) I guess his sweet, sweet negative lacktivity was overshadowed by his team's depth. This year's salary for him is $3,700,000 or $45,121.95 a game -- so he earned a sugary $11,280.49 for every SD marker he racked up!

Cleveland steamrolled McHale's Navy of Conscripts (appropriate given Telfair's arsenal shenangians), having enough garbage time to bring out Darnell Jackson as the biggest lollipop of the night, with 6:53 of lacktion punctuated by a SD of +7! That's a ratio of over one bad play a minute! However, he cannot be blamed for the usual cries of "LeBron lacks a supporting cast" that inevitably lead to "LeBron to Somewhere Else in 2010, Says The Media Hype Train" - he is making a mere $450K this year, only $5487.80 a game - so his cap hit per SD point is $783.96, a real bargain in the league nowadays and an easily afforadble option for those looking for a waste disposal expert. Speaking of the conscripts from Minneapolis, Kevin Love scored a grand total of 0 points on 4 shots.

In typical fashion, Donald Sterling's squad serves as a breeding ground of nothingness, with Steve Novak providing a 30 second Mario (at $797,581 this season/$9726.60 a game, he has clearly found the secret to getting rich fast), while Clippers teammate Brian Skinner - 22nd overall pick by this team in 1998 -- chose to walk away from the treasure chest and stock options by blocking one shot, thus avoiding a +1 in three minutes of lacktion. (Skinner's sole blocked shot was probably his best effort in trying to show Mr. Sterling that the contract year phenomenon applies to him, as he makes $1,262,275 this year, or $15,393.60 a game. Wanna bet that's enough for Sterling and Dunleavy to give this guy another blank check?) Oh, and the Clips only successfully made one shot in OT, unsurprisingly losing.

While the big talk in the Crescent City was CP3's 106th consecutive game with a steal, he was not assisted by fellow Hornet Sean Marks, who chose to forego a possible payday of 9 trillion in favor of taking the role of team lollipop, with a +5 through three missed shots and 2 personal fouls. (Marks, clearly bad enough to not be assisted by the contract year phenomenon, is making $1,141,838 in the last year of his deal -- $13,924.85 a game, or more specifically, $2784.97 per SD point!) On the other bench, Fabricio Oberto gave the Spurs a 40 second Mario, at the price of $3,500,000 this year/$42,682.93 a game - one of THE most expensive Marios in memory.

Man, I am still in awe at earning $42,682.93 to just stand there for 40 seconds and then get back on the bench. No wonder he doesn't mind being "used in any role" as this article states.

It's amazing how this somewhat sabermetric analysis of lacktion can be really revealing -- and make you wonder how so many GMs in this league do not understand the stupidity of spending $42K a game, or $11K a SD point, to have someone take up roster space.

And did anyone else catch Stuart Scott in the midst of the ESPN broadcast describing the upcoming Spurs game as "redicufied," a completely new and meaningless word that seems straight out of the Lovetron Language Primer?

Kobe Bryant: While in the bathroom of the Lakers' locker room, Mamba asked Luke Walton where the nearest bathroom was. When Luke gave him a puzzled look in response, Kobe said: "I'm not looking for a toilet, you moron, I'm looking for a bathroom. Haven't you ever taken a bath? Apparently not. No wonder it smells like crap in here." And Luke began to cry.

Labels: Andres Nocioni, Atlanta Hawks, Boston Celtics, Joe Johnson, New Orleans Hornets, Philadelphia 76ers, San Antonio Spurs, scott skiles, Washington Wizards, Worst of the Night

New York Knicks: This team set a new standard in Worst of the Weekend history. On Friday night, they ended the Grizzlies' 18-game road losing streak by getting blown out 120-106 at Madision Square Garden. On Saturday night, they played in Minnesota and got abused 114-93 by the Timberwolves. That's 35 points worth of losing to two of the worst teams in the league. Let's just rename them the Washington Generals and call it a season, okay?

Isiah Thomas: Zeke still thinks he has a future in New York, even though Knicks owner James Dolan met with -- and was subsequently turned down by -- Pacers CEO Donnie Walsh, who apparently prefers the mess he and Larry Bird made in Indiana to the trash heap Isiah built in New York. Good call, Donnie. Meanwhile, The Smiling Assassin is officially tanking the rest of the Knicks' season by benching Zach Randolph to get a look at the the team's "project" players, like Randolph Morris (who scored 6 points on 2-for-15 shooting this weekend). Said Isiah: "This is definitely a growing and a learning experience for me and this is a very tough time. But you try to grow and learn from the tough times also." Yeah, right. If you could grow and learn from sucking this badly, Isiah would be about 75 feet tall and could crush granite blocks with his amazing mind powers. When asked about his future with the team, he simply said, "I plan on being here." He may be the only one.

NBA.com box scores: This box score image from NBA.com was sent in by Basketbawful reader j men, who described it thusly: "Wow. The Heat are so short handed now that they have a new player that doesnt even have a name!" The unnamed player is/was a kid named Blake Ahearn. Don't bother to memorize his name, though. I doubt he'll be sticking around longer than the end of this season. Note: The box score was updated. But you still shouldn't memorize his name.

Andrea Bargnani: He had a rough night against the Cavs on Friday, scoring zero points (0-for-5) against the suffocating defense of Egghead Zydrunas Ilgauskas. (Psst. Andrea was a number one overall pick.)

The James Gang: LeBron is starting to find out that one truly is the lonliest number of all. On Friday, the Cavs beat the Raptors despite the fact that Bron Bron's teammates couldn't have found the basket even if someone had decorated it with chocolate-coated supermodels (Sasha Pavlovic was 3-for-11, Delonte West was 1-for-3, Ilgauskas was 5-for-14, Ben Wallace was 0-for-0, Damon Jones was 3-for-9, etc.). The story was pretty much the same against the Bucks on Saturday, only Cleveland didn't win. At 40-31, the Cavaliers chances of reaching 50 wins -- and LeBron's chances of getting the MVP -- seem pretty remote.

Enver Nuggets: The Nuggmiesters are four games into a five-game road trip during which their best defensive effort was to hold the Raptors to 100 points on 50 percent shooting. Over this four-game stretch, they've "held" their opponents to 116 PPG on 55 percent shooting. But they're currently seventh in defensive efficiency, which proves, if nothing else, that numbers can lie.

Portland Trail Blazers: They were 2-0 for the weekend, but those two wins came against the Clippers. And on Friday night, the Blazers let L.A. score 102 points on 56 percent shooting, despite the fact that Al Thornton shot 2-for-10 and both Chris Kaman and Corey Maggette missed the game with tanking injuries. On Saturday, Portland "won" an ugly 83-72 game that made me hate God for giving me eyes. Both teams shot in the high 30s and the Clips hit only 9 percent of their threes (1-for-11).

Los Angeles Clippers: Well, I could hardly leave them out, could I? I mean, first they shoot 56 percent and lost, then they couldn't throw it in the ocean and lost. Oh, and did I mention they're tanking? Well, they're tanking.

C.J. Watson: He had a cool three trillion in Golden State's 109-106 loss to Houston.

Seattle SuperSonics: The Sonics did their best Nuggets impersonation against the Lakers, giving up 130 points and 60 percent shooting -- including 52 percent in threes -- in an ugly blowout loss. I only regret that the team name doesn't have a "D" in it so I could take it away. So I guess I'll have to take it from Kevin Urant instead.

Miami Heat: They went 0-for-the-weekend as Pat Riley missed both games to scout college players in the NCAA tournament. Do you realize that they're 12-57 and may not win another game for the rest of the season?

Sacramento Kings: Another 0-for-the-weekend performance, including a loss to the Grizzlies in which Darko Milicic burned them for 19 and 12. Webster's Dictionary should probably add an entry under "Shame" that includes "Burned by Darko Milicic."

Chicago Bulls: They should just change their name to the Chicago Fourth Quarter Collapses. The latest debacle was vomiting up a 13-point fourth quarter lead to the woeful Indiana Pacers, who outscored the Bullies 35-17 in the final stanza to win 108-101. In Chicago. Speaking of which, the Jerry Reinsdorf has decided that fans weren't paying enough money to watch this crap and therefore raised ticket prices for next season. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go get me some Bulls season tickets so I can love it live!

Andres Nocioni: On Saturday night, Chapu became the latest Bulls player to flip the hell out when he started cursing at Chicago coach Jim Boylan for benching him after less than three minutes of PT. In fact, Noc was venting so loudly from the bench that Boylan banished him to the locker room for the rest of the game. Nocioni issued an apology afterward, of course. It's probably also worth noting that Noc's family was "in Chicago and at the game for a rare visit," which might have had something to do with the outburst.

Mike D'Antoni: The Suns are winning, and looking good while doing so. But D'Antoni has been using a seven-man rotation for, like, four years now. He does understand that his team is, you know, kind of old, right?

Jerry Stackhouse: Uh, Jerry? I know Manu Ginobili can be a little annoying, but that doesn't mean you're allowed to pull him down from behind and then choke him. David Stern really frowns on that sort of thing. Besides, "crazy" is the exclusive province of Ron Artest and Stephen Jackson. They're not going to appreciate you borrowing their schtick.


Basketbawful: Okay. Maybe I was wrong about the Kidd trade. God the Mavs are in trouble. Especially if the team doctors can't but Humpty Dirky back together again.

Detroit Pistons: Here's a paradox for you: The Pistons have the second-best record in the league (49-20), yet they're only 10-7 since the All-Star break. Am I the only person who's noticed that something's wrong in Detroit?

ESPN headline writers: Joe from Magicballs noticed that ESPN's frontpage headline for the Denver/Toronto game -- A.I., Melo combine for 69, Nuggets hold off Raptors -- would definitely provide a chuckle or two for the maturity challenged. Such as myself.

Need more of a fix? You can always get more me from the NBA Closer column at Deadspin.

Labels: Andres Nocioni, Chicago Bulls, Cleveland Cavaliers, Denver Nuggets, Detroit Pistons, Isiah Thomas, Jerry Stackhouse, Los Angeles Clippers, New York Knicks, Portland Trail Blazers