It's like some kind of crazy combination of performance art and man love

Before we get started with BAD, I'd like to extend a get-well-soon wish to George Karl as he gets ready to fight another round of cancer. While it is thankfully fairly treatable, cancer is still a horrible, scary, life-altering ordeal, and I hope he gets through it as best as possible.

While I didn't have time to go back and do a Worst of the Night today, I HAVE been able to research plenty of trade rumors to make fun of while my Twitter page in the background constantly updates with more and more trade deadline talk.

Bad Trade of the Day:
I'm not going to bother sharing a fake trade today. Instead, I'm going to just remind of you of the possible real-life trades that could go down before tomorrow's trade deadline strikes at 3pm ET. Here are some of the big rumors (ignoring less interesting stuff like Bad Porn Maggette or Troy Murphy going to Cleveland)...

-Cleveland is the front-runner for Amar''''e Stoudemire, offering up Zydrunas Ilgauskas and JJ Hickson. Miami is said to be the other major player (which I'm sure Amar'''''e loves since he already lives part-time in Miami), but they don't seem to be willing to pay the price. They have yet to offer up Michael Beasley or any top draft picks. Then again, it's not like they have anything to offer. The Heat are D-Wade and a bunch of homeless people picked off the street to serve as his teammates. All I know is the Suns are apparently fairly serious about getting rid of Amar''''e, and that's a good thing since Amar''''e doesn't exactly feel wanted there. He has enough trouble playing with indifference as is. If he stays in Phoenix, he'll manage to give even less of a shit.

-The Bullets are in full rebuilding mode (as if they had any other options). They are apparently willing to deal Antawn Jamison in efforts to save some cash and avoid the luxury tax. The Crabs have shown interest (Jamison and Mike James for Big Z and Jamario Moon was one offer), but this one isn't looking very likely yet. I guess the Bullets are looking to acquire even more Null-Stars and probably are demanding Lacktion Brothers Darnell and Cedric Jackson are included in the swap.

-Knee-Mac trades are still a big story, despite the serious issue that, well, Knee-Mac sucks. He's been washed up for a couple years thanks to a deadly combination of old age, injuries, and being Tracy McGrady. (I mean, he's the cousin of Vinsanity. What do you really expect?) The Bricks are the biggest destination I've heard, but also the Bulls have been thrown out there. I would look deeper into it, but, eh.

-It sounds like Nate Robinson's going to Boston in some kind of swap for Eddie House (details still not ironed out). Hopefully this goes better than the last time the Celtics got a backup point guard who used to play for the Knicks. (Nate Robinson doesn't have a head tattoo does he? No? Good.)

-Finally, according to Chad Ford, "The Timberwolves also inquired about a possible Darko Milicic-for-Brian Cardinal deal." Holy shit, I love the NBA so much. The NBA -- Where Trading Null-Stars Happens.

Briefly going back to yesterday's post, according to the ESPN Daily Dime
"Dunleavy was a guest on the Fox Sports West broadcast of the Blazers vs. Clippers, and used the airtime to intimate that it's conceivable he just pulled off an amazingly lopsided trade -- because Camby could return to the Clippers as a free agent this summer."
Of course, the downfall to this plan is that Camby won't be much use next season after his stint with the Frail Blazers turns his knees into a mess of ripped cartilage and bone fragments.

Worst of the Night in Pictures:

Get the hell out of Phoenix, Amar''''e.
(And put on your glasses so the door doesn't detach your retina on the way out!)

Nice to see things are back to normal in Philly

"Hmm... I wonder what team I can hop to for my next one-year coaching stint..."

"Very nice, Yi! Good job pretending that guy was a chair!"

This is the look of a 33 point loss

I swear, AK47 gets scarier looking every single day

Suck it, Nate Robinson, Gerald Wallace, Shannon Brown, Eric Gordon, and DeMar DeRozan

"Alright, who said I looked like Stan Van Gundy's dad??"

Nationally Televised Games:
Suns at Mavericks: This is just unfair. How are the Mavs supposed to stop Jared Dudley and his historically athletic hands?

Damn. Those hands could stop Truck Norris.

All The Other Games:
Spurs at Pacers: Mike Dunleavy Jr. told the Pacers website "You can't worry about the playoffs." That's probably a good idea when you're 18-34. If you dwell on that, you'd better have the suicide hotline on speed dial.

Pistons at Magic: During the All-Star weekend, Dwight Howard set a Guinness record for the longest basketball shot made while sitting. Now, if only the Pumaman could figure out how to hit a jumper or execute anything resembling a post move...

Timberwolves at Wizards Generals Bullets: The Bullets are just one or two trades away from recreating the Eastern Conference Null-Stars in real life. There is no other reason to watch this game.

Grizzlies at Raptors: Toronto may no longer be the Craptors, but they are still averaging 104.6 PPG and 104.9 points against per game, and somehow have a 29-23 record. Mind-boggling.

Heat at Nyets: I apologize for last night's stat curse from the bottom of my heart. However, the dream is still alive!

Bulls at Bricks: Come on, New York. You've only got this one last chance to dump salary in ludicrous, season-killing trades. Do it! You can't hilariously screw up the LeBron/Bosh/Wade sweepstakes if you don't dump salary first!

Jazz at Hornets: Utah's won four straight road games. However, you know how we feel about the second night of a back-to-back, especially when those games are both on the road.

Rockets at Bucks: It seems like so long ago when Brandon Jennings was a manbeast, doesn't it? I don't understand. How could the epic high top fade haircut be working against him? It doesn't make any sense. It worked so well for Kid 'n' Play's career longevity!

Kings at Warriors: I'm just going to let Excremento Kings rookie Omri Casspi explain just how much of a trainwreck this team is right now by summarizing last night's game: "It was tough. I even made a free throw I tried to miss." That is, indeed, tough. You fail at failing, Omri.

Hawks at Clippers: Now, come on. How are the Hawks supposed to stop the newly-acquired powerhouse duo of Steve Blake and the kinda sorta injured Travis Outlaw?

Labels: , , ,

Anonymous Geert said...
I like Camby in Portland. Now wait while I cross my fingers while knocking on wood so he won't get injured.

WF: taser. Hehe.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Aside from whether Amar''''''e actually said to people he believes tonight is his last game as a Sun, he said on Twitter:

Just leaving our Breakfast Meeting. "I'm still here" Lol. It's time for a hair cut. Got to stay fresh during this trade talk. Lol.

Too many uncomfortable Internet "Lol"s, I think we all know what that means.

Blogger chris said...
AnacondaHL: Let me guess...as awkward as some New Year's Eve tweets by Hibachi!?

Anonymous kazam92 said...
Epic trade completed. Knicks send Darko Milicic to T-Wolves for Brian Cardinal. I think this is the equivalent of dividing by zero

(word verification: enver as in Denver without the D)

Anonymous Anonymous said...

hahahaha...it happened! Null-Star trades rock!

Anonymous Hajt said...
I wonder if Drew Gooden feels unloved.

And Super-GM Dunleavy's current tally is:
Out: Marcus Camby, Sebastian Telfair, Al Thornton, Brian Skinner.

In: Drew Gooden, Steve Blake, Travis Outlaw, money.

As a Blazer fan, I have to say "thank you". Still doesn't make up for 2000 though.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Publicly sodomizing a guy just because you failed to block his shot seems a bit over the top. I mean, you're playing the Nyets, don't you think their anuses ache enough already?

Anonymous kazam92 said...
The Bullets officially imploded. Jamison to cavs. This team is gonna be worse than the nyets now

Blogger Ash said...
Clips officially have the cash to make a run at a max-money free agent this summer. Hellooooo LeBron.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Best of the Night goes to me, when 2 days ago I dropped Joakim Noah for Andray Blanche. Now that Jamison is gone too, and Noah's planar crappyitis is probably going to linger all season, my dominance expands.

All I need to do is see if Tyrus Thomas ends up somewhere that will put him in the starting lineup. Mmm.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
On the first points of the game:

"And Jason Richardson breaks the seal on this one tonight"


Blogger Will said...
I couldn't have Camby in my fantasy lineup because of yesterday's trade, and now today I couldn't have Jamison. If LeBron gets traded tomorrow, I'll be really annoyed.

Anonymous kazam92 said...

epic win

Blogger Will said...
1. Tim Duncan had a very weird line tonight. He had 26 rebounds (11 offensive), 5 assists, 2 steals, and 2 blocks. However, had only had 8 points on 4-23 shooting.
2. Houston beat Milwaukee 127-99. They outscored the Bucks 80-46 in the middle quarters (43-14 in the 3rd alone). Trevor Ariza, Shane Battier, and Aaron Brooks combined to shoot 15-19 from 3.
wv: payoty- Maybe Duncan's night can be attributed to payoty.

Blogger chris said...
Hajt: Don't forget Z-Bo going to Memphis.

Blogger chris said...

The Kings were down by only one after the first quarter. No big deal in the house of Nellieball, right?

In the next period of play, the East Oaklanders dropped FORTY TWO POINTS on the same team that did a much better job defending the creaky knees of Garnett and co. a night before. The paupers were outscored in that quarter by a full 26 points - almost as many as they had scored on their own in the first!


Blogger Unknown said...
Jared Dudley just wasted his 15 minutes.

Blogger chris said...
And John Salmons has been fished by the Milwaukee Bucks for who knows what reason.

Blogger chris said...

Knee-Mac arrives in Sactown while K-Mart will be offering Blue Light Special coupons to Clutch The bear!!!!

CAPTCHA: "aughthe," as in "Aughthe paupers picking up someone less fragile than peanut brittle?"

Blogger chris said...
Meanwhile, in the details of the Antawn Jamison trade...


Blogger chris said...
Oh yeah.

Bassy Telfair to the Bullets.

The jokes write themselves don't they?

Blogger chris said...
SactownRoyalty has a long comment thread up on the end of the Blue Light Special in the River City.

Nobody's sure yet if Knee-Mac's existence as a purple pauper on paper will last more than 10 hours (or if he is slated to become the next overpaid sideshow at MSG).

Blogger chris said...
BTW, with Sergio Rodriguez lacking it up last night before the trade, I wonder how many players score lacktion in their final game with a team before trade or retirement...

Blogger Preveen said...
I was just reading that Telfair was headed to the Cavs...

But Chris, you must probably be happy about getting Landry. Very surprising that Houston gave him up.

Anonymous Hellshocked said...
The Houston-Sacto trade makes no sense to me from the Rockets side. They gave up Carl Landry, their heart and soul this season, along with a 22 million expiring contract for Kevin Martin, who won't be able to help them all that much this season? The only explanation I can come up with is that they are banking on Yao to come back 100% and not get injured again, but even if that happens they now have a glaring hole at either power forward or backup power forward.

They would have been better off making the trade with NY or Chicago for expiring contracts and cap relief, imo.

Blogger Unknown said...
Damn right Hellshocked, everyone here in Houston was excited as f#%^ to get rid of stacy mclady for kmart....but they had to give up Landry too??? The leading candidate for 6th man of the year? The guy who has given 3 teeth and one bullet wound for this team?? Rockets are already well short of big men...and we just gave up 2 of em!...for kenny thomas and a guy who hasnt played in like a month!!! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

Blogger chris said...
Hellshocked/Preveen: The issue that I've seen brought up by most commenters at Royalty is this: does Landry really fix the rebounding problems here in the River City?

Having said that, if he can play with half the competitive fire that Tyreke The Freak does, we may just be okay after all.

K-Mart may have been "all class" and "quietly minding his business" as a one-dimensional scorer, but is that really enough to take a team out of rebuilding mode?

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
BTW, check out Jamison leaving the Wizards arena after hearing the trade news. Notably, his "I loved them more than they loved me", and hugging the ball boy goodbye, it's kinda sadface. Although I guess driving a Bentley may make it all the same either way...

Blogger chris said...
It looks like the fan reaction at STR still borders on pure revolt, with the sentiment being, "K-Mart was forced out without being supported by the organization after ALL THE GREAT THINGS HE HAS DONE" -

Well, we even have the Tyreke haters showing up!

I just want to see Kev succeed and give the big FU to the Kings and Tyreke,,, after reading Tyrekes BS excuses for how the team played last night… that it was becuase of the trade rumors… and hopefully they can get back to playing the way they have been,,, WTF? They have been playing like shit while Reke gets his points!! Expected… after all he is already HOF material in his mind and in Team Tyreke’s mind…

Uh, I'm not sure "wanting to actually get back to winning" equates to "thinking you're a hall of famer at 20 years old," but I digress.

Anonymous Stockton said...
I was quietly working in a couple of mega-trades which would allow the lakers to start a lineup of Jose Calderon, La Mamba Bryant, Rudy Fernandez, Pau Gasol and Marc Gasol; and bench players JJ Barea, Sergio Rodriguez and CArlos Delfino, for an all-spanish talking team, when I realized that sometimes reality DOES surpass fiction!!!

Anonymous winnetou said...
Maybe I'm reading this the wrong way, but as quoted on TrueHoop, Frank Isola of the New York Daily News wrote: "Nate Robinson's locker inside Madison Square Garden was vacant except for a name plate, a small Vaseline jar and a pair of socks."

Concerning the Houston-Sactown deal I don't really understand how they decided to part with Carl Landry. When scoring is their big issue, how does trading the league-leading 4th quarter scorer help (broadcaster statement, no idea how to check that)? He also seemed to fit well into the scrappy Rockets.
Let's see how that works out for both teams.

Anonymous Hellshocked said...

Landry by himself probably won't solve Sacramento's rebounding woes (he is a decent, not great rebounder) but believe me he will give the Kings a much, much needed injection of toughness and badassitude. He is also already their best option in the post (as much as I like Spencer Hawes skillset he is slow off his feet and wildly inconsistent) and rest assured you will love having him there either as a starter or 6-7th man. You also get to save a ton of money and get rid of a guy who was largely ineffectual in your new system and seemingly incompatible with your rookie stud.

Now if only you guys could get a Steve Blake type point guard and finally switch Tyreke over to the 2 permanently...

Blogger chris said...
Hellshocked: If Landry's ONLY contribution is a winning 'tude...that's certainly more than the mopers that surround The Freak right now.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Even with a winning attitude, this is still a move that feels lateral. No disrespect to Landry, but does the 6th man from a team scrapping for a playoff spot really bring that much hope to the currently moribund Paupers?