It's like some kind of crazy combination of performance art and man love
Before we get started with BAD, I'd like to extend a get-well-soon wish to George Karl as he gets ready to fight another round of cancer. While it is thankfully fairly treatable, cancer is still a horrible, scary, life-altering ordeal, and I hope he gets through it as best as possible.
While I didn't have time to go back and do a Worst of the Night today, I HAVE been able to research plenty of trade rumors to make fun of while my Twitter page in the background constantly updates with more and more trade deadline talk.
Bad Trade of the Day: I'm not going to bother sharing a fake trade today. Instead, I'm going to just remind of you of the possible real-life trades that could go down before tomorrow's trade deadline strikes at 3pm ET. Here are some of the big rumors (ignoring less interesting stuff like Bad Porn Maggette or Troy Murphy going to Cleveland)...
-Cleveland is the front-runner for Amar''''e Stoudemire, offering up Zydrunas Ilgauskas and JJ Hickson. Miami is said to be the other major player (which I'm sure Amar'''''e loves since he already lives part-time in Miami), but they don't seem to be willing to pay the price. They have yet to offer up Michael Beasley or any top draft picks. Then again, it's not like they have anything to offer. The Heat are D-Wade and a bunch of homeless people picked off the street to serve as his teammates. All I know is the Suns are apparently fairly serious about getting rid of Amar''''e, and that's a good thing since Amar''''e doesn't exactly feel wanted there. He has enough trouble playing with indifference as is. If he stays in Phoenix, he'll manage to give even less of a shit.
-The Bullets are in full rebuilding mode (as if they had any other options). They are apparently willing to deal Antawn Jamison in efforts to save some cash and avoid the luxury tax. The Crabs have shown interest (Jamison and Mike James for Big Z and Jamario Moon was one offer), but this one isn't looking very likely yet. I guess the Bullets are looking to acquire even more Null-Stars and probably are demanding Lacktion Brothers Darnell and Cedric Jackson are included in the swap.
-Knee-Mac trades are still a big story, despite the serious issue that, well, Knee-Mac sucks. He's been washed up for a couple years thanks to a deadly combination of old age, injuries, and being Tracy McGrady. (I mean, he's the cousin of Vinsanity. What do you really expect?) The Bricks are the biggest destination I've heard, but also the Bulls have been thrown out there. I would look deeper into it, but, eh.
-Finally, according to Chad Ford, "The Timberwolves also inquired about a possible Darko Milicic-for-Brian Cardinal deal." Holy shit, I love the NBA so much. The NBA -- Where Trading Null-Stars Happens.
"Dunleavy was a guest on the Fox Sports West broadcast of the Blazers vs. Clippers, and used the airtime to intimate that it's conceivable he just pulled off an amazingly lopsided trade -- because Camby could return to the Clippers as a free agent this summer."
Of course, the downfall to this plan is that Camby won't be much use next season after his stint with the Frail Blazers turns his knees into a mess of ripped cartilage and bone fragments.
Worst of the Night in Pictures:
Get the hell out of Phoenix, Amar''''e. (And put on your glasses so the door doesn't detach your retina on the way out!)
Nice to see things are back to normal in Philly
"Hmm... I wonder what team I can hop to for my next one-year coaching stint..."
"Very nice, Yi! Good job pretending that guy was a chair!"
This is the look of a 33 point loss
I swear, AK47 gets scarier looking every single day
Suck it, Nate Robinson, Gerald Wallace, Shannon Brown, Eric Gordon, and DeMar DeRozan
"Alright, who said I looked like Stan Van Gundy's dad??"
Nationally Televised Games: Suns at Mavericks: This is just unfair. How are the Mavs supposed to stop Jared Dudley and his historically athletic hands?
All The Other Games: Spurs at Pacers: Mike Dunleavy Jr. told the Pacers website "You can't worry about the playoffs." That's probably a good idea when you're 18-34. If you dwell on that, you'd better have the suicide hotline on speed dial.
Pistons at Magic: During the All-Star weekend, Dwight Howard set a Guinness record for the longest basketball shot made while sitting. Now, if only the Pumaman could figure out how to hit a jumper or execute anything resembling a post move...
Timberwolves at WizardsGenerals Bullets: The Bullets are just one or two trades away from recreating the Eastern Conference Null-Stars in real life. There is no other reason to watch this game.
Grizzlies at Raptors: Toronto may no longer be the Craptors, but they are still averaging 104.6 PPG and 104.9 points against per game, and somehow have a 29-23 record. Mind-boggling.
Bulls at Bricks: Come on, New York. You've only got this one last chance to dump salary in ludicrous, season-killing trades. Do it! You can't hilariously screw up the LeBron/Bosh/Wade sweepstakes if you don't dump salary first!
Jazz at Hornets: Utah's won four straight road games. However, you know how we feel about the second night of a back-to-back, especially when those games are both on the road.
Rockets at Bucks: It seems like so long ago when Brandon Jennings was a manbeast, doesn't it? I don't understand. How could the epic high top fade haircut be working against him? It doesn't make any sense. It worked so well for Kid 'n' Play's career longevity!
Kings at Warriors: I'm just going to let Excremento Kings rookie Omri Casspi explain just how much of a trainwreck this team is right now by summarizing last night's game: "It was tough. I even made a free throw I tried to miss." That is, indeed, tough. You fail at failing, Omri.
Hawks at Clippers: Now, come on. How are the Hawks supposed to stop the newly-acquired powerhouse duo of Steve Blake and the kinda sorta injured Travis Outlaw?