The mere thought of playing against the Wizards Generals is
reason enough for self-man-love to present itself.


Note: With Basketbawful himself unavoidably detained, I am making my WotN debut, with Chris chiming in for a couple quotes and providing the usual lacktion report.

The Washington Wizards Generals: Another game, another horrendous loss. Washington put up one of its usual sloppy displays while doing nothing in crunch time en route to a 90-76 loss to the Heat, led by a 41 point effort from the poorly spelled Dwyane Wade. (This is the second time this season D-Wade has put up 40+ points in a game. Yes, both times were against the Wizards Generals, just in case you expected anything less from this team.)

Washington pissed away an 11-point second half lead, and a final turnover snagged by D-Wade with 27 seconds left on the clock could be considered the nail in the coffin, but I’m pretty sure simply being the Washington Wizards Generals is the more realistic nail in the coffin. The loss was the fifth straight for Washington, and the sixth consecutive time that the Heat have pummeled them. The Washington bench provided all of two points, and Randy Foye left the game after just over 6 relatively non-contributory minutes (one foul, one brick, but a team-leading +5!) with a sprained ankle.

Gilbert Arenas, Turnover Machine: Say, wasn’t a healthy Agent Zero supposed to be the answer to the Wizards Generals’ woes? Unfortunately, as we all know, Gilbert Arenas comes with a curse. While he did drop 21 points on the Heat (that’s good!), Agent Zero built a brick wall, going 7-for-20 from the field. (That’s bad.) He also managed a meager 4-for-8 performance from the free throw line to prove his shooting woes couldn’t be stopped; they could only be contained. He brought down 5 defensive boards to go with 8 assists and 2 steals. (That’s good!)

However, as said best in the NBA Coast to Coast show on ESPN2, “he had a little turnover issue…” to the tune of 12 turnovers. (That’s bad.) Ten of those turnovers came in the second half of the game, and the rest of his team combined for only 10 additional turnovers. Not the best way to get your team out of a funk there, Gilbert. (Do all those turnovers at least come with a free frogurt?) As noted by the Associated Press game recap: “Arenas was the first NBA player with that many giveaways since Feb. 1, 2007.” Do I really need to say it? …The hell with it, I’m saying it anyway: FAIL.

But hey, at least his +/- stat was only a -9. That’s certainly better than…

DeShawn Stevenson: The line on the box score for +/- for this fine young player displayed a whopping -25. Yep, by far the team leader in letting guys put up points while on the floor. Granted the plus/minus stat is a flawed metric, but I’m just sayin’…

"Take a closer look, Coach. Do you still think my beard's sheer awesomeness
forcing the Heat to stop in their tracks and stare isn't good defense?"



The Charlotte Bobcats: Shooting 11.8% from downtown is usually not a good sign for your chances to win. This held true in the Bobcats’ 93-81 loss to the Magic. Ron Jeremy’s Stan Van Gundy’s Magic dominated the game, leading by as much as 22, and the Bobcats just never put up a fight. Boris Diaw’s 7-for-18 performance, including 0-4 from behind the arc, was one of the best contributions from the starters, which kind of puts into perspective how this game went down. Raymond Felton’s 5-for-5 effort at the charity stripe helped him be the only Bobcat to finish with a positive +/- rating. Everyone else on the team languished in mediocrity, putting up just enough points to not get embarrassed, but not enough to keep them from adding another notch to the Loss column.


"I'll be back to shoot the next scene with a few minutes,
I'm almost done beating the Bobcats. Is my fluffer ready?"


Vince Carter: Okay, so Vinsanity contributed quite a bit coming off the bench for the Magic, and gave them an option they didn’t have when he was resting his ankle. That’s all fine and good. However, statistical fail cannot be ignored on this blog: Vinsanity provided 15 points, but it was on a 5-for-16 from the field shooting effort. That’s a whopping 31%, to put it further in perspective. Yes, Vince, your team won in spite of those numbers. But you also were played the Bobcats, so that doesn’t really count for all that much.

UPDATE! Per Wouter in the comments section:
"Vince Carter on not starting for only the eighth time in 781 career games. He nearly missed the game because of a "tender" left ankle that miraculously healed after walking to the hotel.. in the rain:

"[Van Gundy] was like, 'Cool, you're going to guard Raja [Bell],' " Carter said. "I said, 'Uh, can I come off the bench?' He was like, 'What? Are you sure?' First of all, I wasn't in shootaround so I didn't really get the game plan. I didn't want to disrupt what was going on."

We all knew Carter hates playing defense, but he didn't want to start just so he didn't have to defend Raja Bell? The same Raja Bell who is basically playing with one hand after contemplating season-ending surgery to repair a partially torn ligament in his left wrist??? This is yet another reason why Carter will never.. oh nevermind."

Larry Brown, Understatement Machine: “We gave up 22 points on turnovers. We were just careless.” Careless, sloppy, bawful... same difference.

"I can’t believe I just had to actually watch an entire Bobcats game!"

The Houston Rockets: Clutch the Bear is most likely not up to his usual shenanigans tonight after his Rockets were beaten down in a high scoring affair, losing 121-103. After letting the Mavericks go on a 22-3 run that began late in the first half, the Rockets never could regain their momentum. This is despite coming out of the gate strong with their highest-scoring first quarter of the season, and holding a 56-39 lead at one point in the second quarter! The Rockets allowed the previously-slumping Mavs to make over 55% of their shots. The brickfest exhibited by Houston did not help their cause very much: Shane Battier went 1-for-8 from the field, Trevor Ariza had a slightly less embarrassing 3-for-10 performance, and Chase Budinger came off the bench for put up a 1-for-7 stinker of a shooting performance.

The Chicago Bulls: They might have only lost by one point in a valiant effort against the Nuggets, but letting John Salmons jack up brick after brick in a 3-for-13 effort probably didn’t help their cause. Letting Scrappy-Doo Brad Miller take the final shot is usually not the best idea in the world; however, it almost worked here as he buried his jumper from the top of the key. Unfortunately, despite the initial jubilation from the United Center crowd, “almost” isn’t good enough when the NBA can go back and do video replay reviews on last-second shots. With Miller’s bucket overturned, the Nuggets limped away with the win, and punched every Bulls fan in the building firmly in the gut. (Sorry, Mr. McHale.) As Chris noticed, because of that one millisecond that cost the Bulls the game, Miller's negative stats once again came to the fore, as will be revealed in the lacktion report.

Don’t worry guys – the NBA refs are here to save the day!

Carmelo Anthony: While his Nuggets did win the game, Carmelo asserted his team leadership with a dismal 8-for-22 shooting effort, gathering only 3 assists (which were offset by 4 turnovers, by the way). His 20 points represented his lowest scoring effort yet this season. In full disclosure, I didn’t get to actually see this game, but I somehow get the feeling some of these missed shots helped contribute to Joakim Noah’s career-high 21 rebound night.

The Memphis Grizzlies: I know, it’s shocking to see the Grizzlies show up on the WotN, right? Shooting 37% from the field at home will do that to a team. The Grizzlies lost 93-79 to Portland in a game where they shot a particularly poor 4-for-16 in the first quarter. Also, allowing Portland to go off from behind the arc on a 9-for-18 three point shooting performance probably wasn’t a good strategy. It’s called a hand in the face. Try it sometime, guys. You’d be surprised. Seriously. Amazingly, Memphis managed to put up a double digit assist total, but just barely, finishing up the game with 11 total team assists. Memphis has not managed to defeat the Trailblazers since March 29, 2007, not that this should really surprise anyone. After all, the Grizzlies have now lost six consecutive games this season, and it’s not looking to get much better any time soon, no matter what the roster looks like.

Allen Iverson/The Not Answer/The Cancer: Still AWOL.

Z-Bo’s Hard-As-An-Anvil Head: Hasheem Thabeet’s ability to showcase his lacktion skills has been taken away temporarily after a nasty collision under the basket with Zach Randolph left Thabeet with a broken jaw - only a minute or so into his first appearance! Upon seeing this clip on ESPNNews, I shed a single tear for Chris’s lacktion report.

The Oden Watch: Everyone’s favorite sophomore octogenarian racked up another five personal fouls. Greg Oden has committed 5 personal fouls in six out of eight games. He committed 4 fouls in one of the other games, and amazingly only one (1!) foul against Minnesota on November 8th. A blind squirrel finds a nut sometimes, I suppose, even if the blindness is the result of old age and macular degeneration.

The Oklahoma City Thunder: After looking surprisingly decent recently, the Thunder lost a heartbreaker to the lowly Sacramento Kings, bricking a last second three for a 101-98 road loss. The Thunder only shot 39% from the field, led by Kevin Durant’s 9-for-23 effort in a 37 point night that included 18 foul shots, all of which he sank. This game was, as Chris put it, “not particularly memorable.” Mediocrity between two underperforming teams usually isn’t the most exciting thing to watch. The only moment that really stood out for Chris was “Durant giving up the rock immediately after regaining possession in the wake of the Kings blocking a Thunder shot.” Okay, I can see why that moment stood out.

The Sacramento Kings: Winning this suckfest of a game was a major accomplishment for the Maloofs. This is the first time their team has been at .500 since December 4th, 2006. That’s such a depressing stat, it had to get its own entry in the WotN.

Lacktion Report: While our head writer and namesake was watching lacktion in person, Chris was documenting it for the rest of us to enjoy:
Magic-Bobcats: DeSagana Diop dropped the rock twice for a +2 suck differential in 3:29 that doubled as a 2:0 Voskuhl, while fellow Bobcat Gerald Henderson bricked once from downtown for a +1 in 2:30.

Wizards-Heat: Nick Young bricked once and took down a foul for a +2 in 2:32, matched by Randy Foye in 6:30. while Randy Foye's ledger appearance has been reassessed as it came due to injury. A third Wizard appeared in tonight's report, as the fabulous Fabricio Oberto did score a board in 16:49 but nullified that with two fouls for a 2:1 Voskuhl.

Rockets-Mavs: Brian Cook fried up a 3.35 trillion for Houston, while Dallas's Quinton Ross earned a +5 in 13:19 by fouling thricely, bricking once and taking a rejection as well.

Nuggets-Bulls: Had Brad Miller been given an extra tenth of a second for the game-winning shot, he wouldn't be in the ledger for his 14:10 appearance, in which he had also made a field goal earlier in the night, as well as rebounding twice. But four fouls and two giveaways result in a 6:4 Voskuhl upon video review!!!!

Thunder-Kings: Kevin Ollie puppeted three fouls for a +3 in 10:55.

Labels: , , , , , , , , ,

57 Comments:
Anonymous Wouter said...
Vince Carter on not starting for only the eighth time in 781 career games. He nearly missed the game because of a "tender" left ankle that miraculously healed after walking to the hotel.. in the rain:



"[Van Gundy] was like, 'Cool, you're going to guard Raja [Bell],' " Carter said. "I said, 'Uh, can I come off the bench?' He was like, 'What? Are you sure?' First of all, I wasn't in shootaround so I didn't really get the game plan. I didn't want to disrupt what was going on."


We all knew Carter hates playing defense, but he didn't want to start just so he didn't have to defend Raja Bell? The same Raja Bell who is basically playing with one hand after contemplating season-ending surgery to repair a partially torn ligament in his left wrist??? This is yet another reason why Carter will never.. oh nevermind.

Blogger Will said...
1. I'm pretty sure Z-Bo's coaches can also attest to his hard-headedness.
2. Those were some great captions, Dan B. Especially the one about Mr. Jeremy and the fluffer.

Blogger Andrei said...
As the basketbawful community strives to point out the flaws in our favorite sport, we must be vigilant against committing our own acts of bawful during our commentary. Thus I would like to point out that squirrels do not have a macula and therefore cannot undergo macular degeneration. The macula is a part of the retina only found in primates. It would be more correct (and possibly funny) to say "A blind squirrel MONKEY finds a nut sometimes, I suppose, even if the blindness is the result of old age and macular degeneration."

I will admit to being a Portland fan upfront and though I won't attempt to defend Oden's prodigious foul rate, watching the games this season has made me curious about big men and foul trouble. Dwight Howard for example has already fouled out twice this season and isn't far behind Oden in fouls per game (albeit getting about 7 more minutes a game than Oden). The rest of the top 10 foulers at the moment are mostly big men with the exception of Mike Miller.

I think part of the reason why Oden ends up with as many fouls as he does is Portland's shitty perimeter defense that allows guards to get into the paint too easily. Once the guards end up in the paint Oden ends up fouling them to make up for the defensive mistakes. I also think that big men are whistled for a lot more fouls than are necessary. Not every incident of contact in the paint deserves a whistle, especially if the offensive player initiates the contact.

Finally, Amare Stoudemire is 5th in foul rate in the league at the moment. Just imagine what his foul rate would be if he actually attempted to play defense once in a while.

Anonymous Hellshocked said...
I've watched two Memphis games this year and I have been shocked as to how well Zach Randolph is playing (by his standards). He has been regularly running back on defense, making the extra pass (even when he isn't guaranteed an assist), passing out of double teams (not something he was ever known for), not forcing (as many)shots and cheering his teammates on. He even seems to be genuinely having fun out there. Yes the guy is still undersized, incapable of playing any defense, in love with his mediocre jumper and better suited to a 6th or 7th man role, but this qualifies as quantum progress for him, amusingly enough, on the same team that Allen Iverson pulled his latest hissy fit.

Can any Memphis fans (hah)out there confirm my anecdotal observations, or have my eyes been deceiving me? Maybe there is something to this whole Captain thing after all. Then again, given his history he might well go back to bitching and chucking in a month's time.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
i miss mr bawful himself

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Blind squirrel monkey. This is the site that keeps on giving.

Note on the. Grizz Watch: sorted the team statistics by assists per game lately? Memphis stands with a mediocre 19.0 APG, but a few more things stand out. 29th in the league is the New Jersey Swineflus, with 17.0 APG, but at rock bottom is the Detroit Pistons with a whopping 14.4 APG! With Hamilton and Prince out, this might drop even more!

On top of the list, The Celtics and the Suns, respectively. But also tied for second? Did you say the Hornets? Nope, it's the LOS ANGELES CLIPPERS. I guess that Eric Gordon might be the real th...

Hang on, I'm getting a phone call.

Yes? What's that? Groin injury? Sure, why not.

Blogger Andrei said...
If you're in a mood for hilarity, check out Mike Wilbon's treatise on why The Cancer is the perfect fit for the Craboliers bench:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/11/10/AR2009111016558_2.html

If you're not in the mood to get a free online Washington Post subscription or you simply don't want your brain to explode from reading such stupidity, here are the choicest paragraphs.

"Is there risk involved for the Cavaliers? Sure, of course there is -- like the risk involved when the Chicago Bulls took on Dennis Rodman, or to update the analogy, like the Celtics taking on Rasheed Wallace. It was up to Michael Jordan, Phil Jackson and Scottie Pippen to sit on Rodman if necessary. It's up to Kevin Garnett, Ray Allen, Paul Pierce and Doc Rivers to get in 'Sheed's face if necessary.

And it would be up to LeBron, Shaq and Coach Mike Brown (in that order) to keep Iverson in line if the whining started. Diva players don't have to be tolerated in the NFL, but in professional basketball they have to be handled with great care and feeding. I don't think it would come to that."

Blogger Basketbawful said...
Jesus. Wilbon is an idiot. He's the same doofus who defended Michael Jordan's ridiculous HoF speech. Look, Iverson will not play coming off the bench. He's made that perfectly clear. He'd rather retire first. Shaq sitting on him won't change that. It might squish him, but it won't change him. I mean, we talkin' 'bout startin'!

Anonymous Lucas said...
The frogurt is also cursed.

Blogger Will said...
Didn't Wilbon also defend Jordan punching Will Purdue in practice by saying Will's face got in the way?

Blogger Dan B. said...
Wouter - Disgusting. I wish I had known about that when writing last night. I think I'll shoehorn your analysis into the post in a minute.

Will - Thanks!

Anonymous - We all miss Mr. Bawful himself. These WotN posts are incredibly time consuming, and I have no idea how he does it every single day. The only reason I had time to write one last night is because I'm off work today for Veteran's Day. My goal was just to suck less than people anticipated I would.

Andrei - I just assumed Wilbon's denseness was just an act for PTI. Maybe I was wrong. Good God, that's terrible. Thanks for heads-up. Not to mention the blind squirrel monkey information. That's brilliant. The more you know...

Lucas - But it comes with free toppings!

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Old article lost in the offseason, but Nash and Hill are infecting the Suns as health food buddies. I'm so full of Suns Kool-Aid this season, that I think we should switch to spiking Propel with these hope enhancing psychedelics.

Or it may be Jared Dudley's twitter. What do NBA players do on the rest day between 4 games in 5 nights? Why, buy Modern Warfare 2 and play it for 7 hours, of course. We live in an awesome era of NBA.

Anonymous Shane T. said...
Man loveeeeeeee

http://nicekicks.com/files/2009/11/koc-no-10-23.jpg

Blogger starang said...
So, the Outlaw dunk was sick.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CFuwWxBsqQg

But, the best part, was from the Outlaw section of the crowd.

www.ryancastillo.com/pics/really.jpg

Bluetooth on at the game? Does she really want us to believe she is going to be on a call in the arena?

Blogger David said...
It's worth noting that Arenas set the Washington Generals franchise record for turnovers in a game last night.

HISTORIC FAIL

Anonymous kazam92 said...
I'm surprised no ones mentioned the Contract Year Phenomenon affecting Erick Dampier. This guy is a tool. He's had 2 good season in like 10+ years and both were at the final year of his deal

Anonymous Anonymous said...
You do realize that through all your hating on Oden he was the changing force in the game last night, just want to make sure you actually watch some of his play before you call him blind, because if blind people play like that NBA teams might need to change their scouting routines.

Anonymous Lucas said...
This should be the Grizzlies new slogan: "Guys, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try."

Anonymous kazam92 said...
David


He also broke the Heat opponent record previously set by Jerry Stackhouse (11)

and 10 of Gils TO's were in the 2nd half. That HAS to be an all time NAB record right?

Blogger BadDave said...
Dan B, I'll speak up.

Good job, and thanks. One thing I liked about your style is the upbeat approach to bawful. I think there are times Mr. Bawful gets a little extra-cynical. We all love it, but I found your positive enthusiasm for suck refreshing.

Blogger Will said...
kazam92- in looking up the record for TOs in a half I came across this pdf of the Cavs playoff records.

http://www.nba.com/media/cavaliers/07pmg_119-120_individual_playoff_records.pdf

1. I find it interesting it inlcudes the Cavs' opponents TO record, but not their own.

2. Apparently Mark Price is the only Cav to make a 3 in an OT playoff game.

Blogger Dan B. said...
Anonymous - There's a reason I didn't include Oden in the Worst of the Night. He played a pretty solid game aside from his usual propensity for fouling. I only included his Personal Fouls Watch part because it's a running gag this season. The blind stuff was just playing off the old "even a blind squirrel finds a nut" joke, while throwing in an "Oden looks older than he really is" joke. No need to pitch a hissy. Oden had a big game last night, but also has actually been surprisingly effective period as of the past few games. I'm not sure if it was just the transition to the pros, or health issues, or a combination, but he's finally starting to again resemble the player he was back in college.

Kazam92 - I wish the Elias Sports Bureau would give us some more information on this unholy turnover game, because it sure does seem like out-and-out HISTORICAL FAIL, doesn't it?

Blogger Will said...
For those keeping score, the record for TOs in a game is 14 by J Kidd.

Blogger Wild Yams said...
Dan B. - Really great job today. I know all too well how time consuming the WOTNs are, so I give you a lot of kudos for doing this. The worst part of it definitely is the people with no sense of humor who nitpick in the comments, but you've done a good job with that too :)

Mr. Bawful - Any fun anecdotes from your excursion to the United Center last night?

I know the Wizards are still missing Antawn Jamison, so they might turn things around in a hurry when he comes back, but I'm starting to feel like at some point here we really should consider just writing them off. Is adding Antawn really going to suddenly transform them from what is apparently one of the league's worst teams into a championship contender? Hell, even into a playoff team? I have serious doubts about that.

Blogger chris said...
BadDave: "positive enthusiasm for suck" of course has been my motivating factor for the lacktion report all this time! :D

OF COURSE...

The depressing thought that Brian Cook made more money in 0.0 seconds of playing time last week, as opposed to what most of us make in a year, makes me want to facepalm.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Late reply Andrei: NBA.com, individual stats, fouls.

Greg Oden: 4.4 per game, 9.1 per 48 min. No one even comes close.
Dwight Howard: 4.0 PFPG, 6.2 PFP48
Amar'''''''''e: 4.0 PFPG, 5.2 PFP48.

In his defense, I did watch him live for his 4 blocked shot performance vs San Antonio. At least, his quick hops for the blocks showed his knee looking better. But damn, the constant foul rate is just too reckless. Look at all the other scrubs with high PFP48 (qualified, of course).

Blogger Basketbawful said...
BadDave -- Agreed. Dan B. reminds me of myself before I became filled with hate. And also before I was more machine than man...twisted and evil.

Yams -- Anecdotes? Well, as I said, I was a guest in a skybox suite for Harris Bank. There was some bigwig from the Bank of Montreal there. He seemed not to know much about basketball, and he asked me who "that tall guy with the headband" was. I said, "Chris Andersen, also known as 'The Birdman.'" This amused the guy to no end. He kept talking about the Birdman for the rest of the game. "GO BIRDMAN! BIRDMAN SCORED! LOOK AT THE BIRDMAN GO!" It was like he had attained one lonely piece of basketball knowledge and he was determined to use the hell out of it. I guess it was funnier if you were there.

Also funny was the fact that, at one point, a t-shirt got fired into our box, and even though there were people there who seriously didn't need any money, everybody (except me) went scrambling after it. Which just goes to show, you never make too much money to freak out over a free t-shirt.

Blogger Andrei said...
AnacondaHL: Not true my friend. There is a player who plays descent minutes with a higher foul rate for 48 minutes than Oden. It's none other than teammate Joel "The Vanilla Gorilla" Pryzbilla with a respectable 9.8. Amusingly, Jerryd Bayless is grabbing people at a rate of 16.2 per 48 minutes, but that's more of a statistical abnormality due to lack of playing time is my guess.

Anyway, other notable offenders are Paul Millsap with a 8.5 and Tyson Chandler with 7.9.

It has also just occurred to me that Portland made an attempt to sign Millsap. Just think of the intimidating front-line they would have had this year with Oden, Pryzbilla and Millsap hacking opponents to death.

Blogger BJ said...
(approaches the bench)

May I respectfully request that the AllStar committee get a barf-out? Because guess who's made the ballot as a guard in the Western Conference -- none other than everyone's favorite 34 year old infant, Allen "The Answer/Not Answer/Cancer/Can't-Sir" Iverson!

(goes looking for the drugs)
-BJ

Anonymous Ben said...
In defense of Deshawn Stevenson, and I can't believe I'm doing this...

He played superb defense in the first half. Wade got his points, but he was completely isolated from meshing with the rest of the team. Stevenson was to blame for that. He took Wade on one-on-one and played well.

The second half was a different story, thanks in large part to fastbreak points caused by Arenas turnovers. Nothing anyone except Gil can do to change that.

However the night had ended, Stevenson was bound to end up in the minus. Flawed stat.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
No, it's completely true as was everything in my post. Thats why you filter by qualified players.

Tyson Chandler is a medium-distant second place on the PFPG list, with Millsap at third, but Oden's 35 fouls in 8 games is still tops, emphasized further by his minutes per game.

As for Przy, I believe my quote is "Look at all the other scrubs with high PFP48 (qualified, of course)."

If you need it spelled out for you, Greg Oden is a scrub. Sorry. QED.

Anonymous Matt said...
Are the toppings cursed?

Blogger Platinum said...
I feel terrible for Hasheem Thabeet. I mean, the one time Z-bo decides to be near the basket...

Blogger Wild Yams said...
BTW, we probably should have something on this site about how JR Smith now wants to be known by his birth name, Earl Smith, III. To me this is pure silliness, and I have to wonder about what motivated JR/E3 to demand this. Does he think that people are going to forget his thuggish past with a more fancypants moniker or something? Inquiring minds want to know.

Mr. Bawful - Did you let anyone in the box last night with you know about your Superman alter ego? Did you sprinkle about any other NBA tidbits to really show off your hoops acumen beyond knowing Chris Andersen's nickname, or are you really like Clark Kent and you play those cards close to the chest? For instance, did anyone start ragging on a player only to have you throw it back in their face by pointing out that said player's True Shooting Percentage was above the league average, or that they had the team's best plus minus rating or anything like that? Did you tell them all there that in addition to working a full time job, you blog about 10 hours a day, while also working on your own game and reviewing tapes of old games, while also building fully functional proton packs from scratch (meaning you somehow have something like 30-35 hours in each of your days, rather than the paltry 24 that the rest of us have)? I guess what I'm getting at is this: did the rest of your box brothers know whom they were taking in a Bulls game with, or were you in full on Clark Kent mode last night?

Anonymous kazam92 said...
UPDATE (11/11): Hours after saying he would change his name to Earl, he is now back to J.R. Smith after getting a ton of texts, emails and calls.

Blogger Andy said...
I give the Wiz 20 games before I make any judgments on them. That gives enough time for Miller/Jamison to come back and Arenas time to work off rust/realize that he's taking way too many shots.

After 20, if this continues, I'll forget them for yet another season, along with the other DC failure...

Anonymous Anonymous said...
looks like Arenas is turning the ball over because his fiancee apparently turned herself over to Shaq lol look it up
engagement fail

Anonymous gebwel said...
too bad i don't have Tivo to prove this, but last night ESPNews reported that memphis' hasheem thabeet suffered a broken jaw after colliding with portland's F zach randolph. i don't know what's more bawful: zach randolph hurting his own teammate or ESPN crew still assuming that z-bo is a blazer, even years after his departure from the team..
the news has been fixed in the morning edition, though

Blogger chris said...
So King Crab does not want any more talk about the Free Agency Sweepstakes of 2010, BUT will wear sneakers commemorating the Yankees' 27th World Series victory?

Huh?

Blogger chris said...
Did anyone witness the lowlight that ESPN just showed, of one of the Nyets tossing a last-second inbounds pass...to the wrong team? :D Rather bawful!

Blogger Dan B. said...
BadDave, Wild Yams, Will, Chris, Bawful, et al -- Thanks for the appreciative comments. They definately make the time invested worth it. And yeah, I can see what you guys mean with the "positive enthusiasm for suck" comment. I'm not as bitter as some other people. Yet. :)

Bawful -- Your "more machine than man" comment made me think of you looking like the Terminator with half your face showing a robot. And that is awesome. Just so you know.

Ben -- You're right. Plus/minus is an awful stat, very flawed. It isn't truly indicative of how you played. That's why I even addressed it as being a flawed stat in WotN. That being said, that number is just disgusting to see on the box score.


Moving on to tonight's action, I convinced my buddy to watch the first half of the Cavs/Magic game with me. He's not a big basketball fan, but he definately enjoyed the insane Mo Williams shooting performance. That first half was a lot of fun to watch.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Oden tonight - 18 points, 11 rebounds, 0 fouls in 26m, and Blazers won. So..... your running gag won't be as funny in the morning, he is no mat.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Thought this quote from the espn recap was pretty funny.

"The Wolves were so bad defensively that Portland executed a rare point guard-to-point guard alley oop in the fourth when Jerryd Bayless threw down a pass from Andre Miller, who had 10 assists."

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
A few notes on tonight:

1) Steve Nash from 30 feet tosses it up... Grant Hill midair with one hand... oohhh missed alley-oop. It takes the announcers about 0.7 seconds to make the "10 years ago move" quip, considering their combined age is 72.

2) Amar'''''''''e. I think his scoring is down, fouls are up, for two reasons. The aforementioned grudge that people keep calling out his defense in this contract year.

And the goggles. He must be getting used to them still, because he doesn't even want to wear them for free throws (puts them on his forehead), which is at an uncharacteristically low 68% anyways.

3) Cavs beat the Magic, who beat the Suns, who beat Boston, who beat the Cavs. Hornets Mavs and Lakers have their own rock-paper-scissors going too.

4) Something clicked in Dragic. He works well both with Nash and Barbosa. I'm still wrapping my head around this one. Well the bench played bad enough that tomorrow's Roland Ratings will probably look more like what it should be. But I love Dudley. And his Twitter.

5) The Taco Bell torch has been passed to Taco Bell Chris Paul. Seriously, we're right at the point where he's bringing his bag of gifts to the Hornets's dorm room.

6) And finally, I say we take a page from the heylarryhughespleasestoptakingsomanybadshots.com and call tonight a Bizzaro Oden.

Blogger starang said...
Does Bawful do fantasy NBA or Pick One Challenge?

Blogger Clifton said...
Bad: Iverson's on the All-Star ballot.
Worse: People will vote for him. A LOT of people will vote for him.

Team Shop Fail!! Text from Keith, who attended the Suns game tonight and intended to buy a Dudley jersey (he has season tickets, and I'll probably get to go to a game or two): "They don't sell Dudley jerseys, but I can totally get a Lopez jersey. Lolzballz."

Blogger Wild Yams said...
Dan B. - The "more machine than man" quote was a Darth Vader reference, in case you or anyone else in this thread missed it. Just FYI :)

Anon - Sorry, the Oden Watch is still on, and your denial of it will probably just make it worse around here. Look at it this way: it's better than the usual Oden Watch, which typically involves guessing when he'll return from whatever this week's injury is.

The Suns pounded the shit out of a Hornets squad which is godawful. Byron Scott's ass must be blistering, cause I'm sure his seat is as hot as the sun right now. I didn't think N.O. would win tonight, but it's looking more and more like that Hornets team just does not give a damn. This is especially true if you measure effort by looking at a team's defensive intensity, and there just wasn't any resistance at all from the Hornets out there tonight. There's a reason Phoenix was shooting almost 80% from the field for much of the first half, and it wasn't solely due to Steve Nash's wizardry. That matchup tomorrow with the still Gasol-less Lakers should be interesting to say the least.

Chris Kaman, who is not on the All Star ballot this year, got 20 & 11 tonight, which is right near his season average of 22 & 9. Did I mention he's not on the All Star ballot this year? Good thing Iverson is though. I guess that's what happens when you're a Clipper though. Speaking of the Other LA Team, the Clips lost at home to the Thunder tonight, proving they're still who we thought they were.

Blogger Dan B. said...
Yams -- I'm not a Star Wars guy. I've tried to get into it, and just can't do it. I will miss 95% of Star Wars references ever made. Just FYI.

While at dinner, I saw a teaser on ESPN that the Hornets/Suns game was coming on last night, and I told everyone with me "Oh God, that's going to be a blowout." Granted, nobody I was with knew a damn thing about the NBA, so the conversation just ended there, but still. Is it possible the Hornets have already completely quit on the season this early? It's looking that way based on their effort on the court.

Blogger Flunze said...
http://sports.yahoo.com/nba/players/3748/photos;_ylt=AgoEkxLyhXM_dMWZhQ4TjRHmPKB4?slug=c9c2a073a3f5e7162881f8f3a0a5b55e-getty-#photoViewer=urn%3Anewsml%3Asports.yahoo%2Cap%3A20050301%3Anba%2Cphoto%2Ccce31d97946c4b04a06d33a165818de0.raptors_spurs_basketball_txeg102%3A1

This picture pretty good sums up the Raptors FAIL against Spurs...

Blogger Flunze said...
http://media.mysanantonio.com/images/1109+SPURS+MAVS+KMH+10.jpg

Mark doesn`t believe his Mavs fail as much as the Raptors...

Blogger Buck Nasty said...
Clippers lose. I can't wait for the worst of the night. Just when I thought they could at least beat bad teams.

Just when they win out....they keep bringing themselves back...to who we thought they are.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
"Mr. Bawful - Did you let anyone in the box last night with you know about your Superman alter ego? Did you sprinkle about any other NBA tidbits to really show off your hoops acumen beyond knowing Chris Andersen's nickname, or are you really like Clark Kent and you play those cards close to the chest? For instance, did anyone start ragging on a player only to have you throw it back in their face by pointing out that said player's True Shooting Percentage was above the league average, or that they had the team's best plus minus rating or anything like that? Did you tell them all there that in addition to working a full time job, you blog about 10 hours a day, while also working on your own game and reviewing tapes of old games, while also building fully functional proton packs from scratch (meaning you somehow have something like 30-35 hours in each of your days, rather than the paltry 24 that the rest of us have)? I guess what I'm getting at is this: did the rest of your box brothers know whom they were taking in a Bulls game with, or were you in full on Clark Kent mode last night?"

Well, Yams, I tried to go Clark Kent, but my friend outted me as the Bulls blogger for ESPN's TrueHoop Network. Fortunately, these were non-basketball people who are execs for banks and didn't really seem to grasp much of anything. One guy said, "So, Chauncey Billups...he's been a pro for a couple years now, right?"

In other words, I didn't get swamped with questions or requests to autograph anybody's bosom.

Blogger Wild Yams said...
Were there at least ample bosoms present in the skybox that you could have autographed if the owners had so desired it? There's got to be some salacious details you're omitting here!

Blogger chris said...
Dan B.: Of course, as soon as I saw that matchup on the screen (at the conclusion of the Crabs-Magic game on ESPN), I knew the Suns would have an easy night.

Blogger Wild Yams said...
Dan B - No worries about not getting a Star Wars reference. After the three prequels I have little interest in those movies myself.

I don't think the Hornets have quit on the season, but rather I think they've quit on their coach. Also, I'm just not sure how good they really could be anyway. It's tough to be very productive when you have a very thin bench and when you get almost nothing from both wing positions. Chris Paul can only do so much.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Just logged onto NBA.com to check the ballot when at the top:

Byron Scott fired! Muffles cries of glee are seeping through the silence of cp3's twitter.

Blogger Wild Yams said...
I'm totally blindsided by the firing of Byron Scott!!! Who could have ever seen this coming?!

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