Foot shave
"Ha, ha, ha...shave my feet, minion!"

I'm freaking exhausted. This Bulls-Celtics series is KILLING me. But wow, how lucky am I? My two favorite teams are competing in what has become the closest and most competitive series in NBA history. Seven -- count 'em! -- seven overtime sessions...SO FAR. That total beats the old NBA record by three overtimes! In fact, no other team has ever even had as many OTs in an ENTIRE postseason. Honestly, I feel like I should be typing this entire paragraph in all caps. It's crazy.

Despite the truly epic nature of last night's triple overtime game, there was still plenty of 'bawful. Like Rondo's flagrant fouls (more on that below), Ben Gordon's remorseless gunnery/foul out/temper tantrum, Derrick Rose's game-high 5 turnovers (giving him 25 in the last four games), Kirk Hinrich's ridiculous missed layup attempt in the third OT (he never should have taken the shot), the fact that Kirk's missed layup was goaltended by Rondo but the refs didn't call it, the fact that Paul Pierce got pilfered and then fouled out by Joakim Noah on a single, game-changing play, the continuing suck-ass play of the Boston bench, John Salmons' forced three-pointer (that hit nothing but air) near the end of regulation, that sequence when the Bulls gave up a 23-3 run (including one 18-0 spurt) after going up 12 to fall behind by 8, Aaron Gray's forgettable 43-second Mario, Big Baby's moving pick to set up Ray Allen for a game-tying three-pointer, Rondo getting his shot smother-chickened by D-Rose at the end of the game...

...but even all those things are just nitpicks. That was one of the most incredible games I've ever seen. Maybe the most incredible. So no, I'm not giving it an official WotN entry. But I will give one to...

Rajon Rondo: The video says it all (via Jai, who proves that Basketbawful has the best CAPTCHA script on the Internets):


Here's the million dollar question: Will the league stick by the precedent its set (most recently with Dwight Howard) and suspend Rondo for whistling an elbow past Captain Kirk's face during that altercation, or will David Stern make a "business decision" and overlook it so as to not diminish a possibly epic ending to one of the NBA's all-time great playoff series? My guess: Stern will cop out and sacrifice integrity for $$.

Vinny Del Negro, "needs to calm down" machine: Basketbawful reader Kelly M. provided this picture of Vinny's...erection?! I'm speechless. (By the way, Kelly Tweets and needs followers. You know what to do.)

Uh calm down there Vinny

The Philadelphia 76ers: They got what they wanted: Dwight Howard was suspended for Game 6 in Philadelphia. Plus, the Magicians also were without Courtney Lee -- who had been truly fantastic through the first four games -- because Superman nearly killed him with an elbow in Game 5. Facing an opponent minus their best player AND their standout rookie, the Sixers had every reason to expect a series-tying victory that would send the proceedings back to Orlando for a do-or-die Game 7. So what happened? Philly stunk up the joint and got hammered 114-89 at home, where they will be staying for the rest of the playoffs while Orlando moves on to face the quivering remains of whatever comes out of the Bulls-Celtics series.

The Sixers shot 40 percent, finished with nearly as many turnovers (16) as assists (17), and they got beaten on the boards (41-36) despite the fact that Howard, the league's leading rebounder during the regular season AND the playoffs, was Twittering madly from his hotel room. (Examples: "aaaaaahh got yall i cant tell yall. its real bad real bad michael jackson lol. see if yall can get that" and "i wish i was playin. i never intended to hurt nebody or my team.") And their defense was bad enough to put another couple cracks in the Liberty Bell. Sans Superman, the Magic converted nearly 54 percent of their field goal attempts. Rafer Alston (21 points, 8-for-16, 10 assists) looked like an All-Star PG, Marcin Gortat (11 points, 15 rebounds, 4 steals) dropped the Polish Hammer and even J.J. Redick was unstoppable from downtown (5-for-7). Oh, and let's not forget Rashard Lewis' game-high 29 points on 11-for-22 shooting. Basically, the only Magic players Philly stopped were the ones who didn't play.

Was it really that bad? Well, their own fans booed them off the court at the end of the third quarter, so you tell me. Actually, it felt like the perfect ending to a sad and disappointing season in which the Sixers -- who dropped serious coin for the injured-and-not-playing Elton Brand -- were supposed to challenge for Eastern Conference supremacy. Instead, they bowed out in pathetic fashion at home against an undermanned opponent. Super playoff fail. Speaking of which...

Samuel Dalembert: From Basketbawful reader Mladen: "Looks like our boy Gortat's been reading Basketbawful. Probably moved by your story, he decided to posterize not one, but two 'defenders,' one of which was Samuel Dalembert, who fell on the floor afterwards. Simply bawful." Indeed.


Dwight Howard: When the TNT crew was discussing the Magic-Sixers game during halftime of Celtics-Bulls, they said outright that Orlando was...wow...better without Howard. And they were NOT kidding. Andre Miller said the same thing after the game, and even claimed that at least one of Dwight's teammates thinks the same thing: "They're actually better without Dwight Howard. One of their players told me that they were better without Dwight Howard. They said the ball moves quicker. They're not standing around a lot." I'm going to have to think a little bit more about whether I believe that's actually the case, but I suppose you could make the argument that last night's game was pretty damning evidence that Miller's statement is on the money.

The Portland Trail Blazers: The 2008-09 Blazers will be forever remembered as "The Team That Finally Let Yao Ming Escape His First-Round Prison." And lest we all forget, Henry Abbott devoted a huge (and, for him, semi-controversial) TrueHoop mega-post (with statistical backup singing from number-crunching extraordinaires John Hollinger and Justin Kubatko) to explaining why the Blazers were the most-likely Western Conference team to upend the Lakers. And yet here they are, no more than a first-round sacrifice to a Ron Artest-led Rockets team that nobody trusted...even when they were lucky enough to lose Knee-Mac for the season.

Yes. Yes, it's true. Ron Artest. Dude entered last night's game knocking down a dismal 37.7 percent of his shots for the series. And it felt even worse than that. I mean, the Blazers wanted, nay, were BEGGING him to chuck up the rock. Big mistake. Ron-Ron scored a game-high 27 points on 11-for-21 from the field, including 8-for-10 from inside the arc. Houston put Portland in an early hole and the Blazers never could climb out. The closest they got was to within 13 during the fourth quarter, but the final score (92-76) is representative of the cakewalk it was for the Rockets. And there was no glaring reason for the blowout. The Blazers shot a little worse and didn't take care of the ball as well, but they earned more free throws and won the rebounding battle. That's the kicker, you know? Portland wasn't terrible...Houston was just better. Like, pretty clearly better.

(One last note: You should all go check out the comments section of that TrueHoop post I linked to above. Wild Yams got skewered for his common-sense viewpoints. So, tell us, Yams...how does redemption feel?)

Greg Oden: His line (3 points, 1-for-3, 6 rebounds, 4 turnovers and 4 fouls in 16 minutes) just screamed Kwame Brown to me for some reason. It's just stunning to me, like finding an entire human foot in your bowl of Fruity Pebbles. This old man-child was supposed to be The Next Great Center, remember? A sure thing. A slam dunk. Had the Celtics won the NBA draft lottery in 2007, Danny Ainge would have selected Oden and not only would Boston not have won the title last season, I'd be willing to bet Paul Pierce might not even be wearing the green and white right now. Funny how things work out. Speaking of which...

Tracy McGrady: Just think...if Knee-Mac had spent last summer working out and rehabbing like, say, a Kobe Bryant would have, he might have that "Never Been Out Of The First Round" monkey off his back RIGHT NOW. Oh, Tracy, oh how you have failed. I am being completely serious when I say that, at this point, the only way McGrady's story could be any more tragic was if he got diagnosed with a life-threatening disease or a chunk of the International Space Station broke off, entered orbit and fell directly on his car while he was driving it.

Ron Artest, postgame interview machine: Via Wild Yams:


Speaking of quotes...

P.J. Carlisimo, unintentionally dirty quote machine: From Basketbawful reader David E: "After Ron Artest grabbed a steal with about four minutes left in the 4th, P.J. Carlisimo rasped out 'The only guy I remember with hands as strong as Artest was Karl Malone. He used to strip guys all the time.'"

The NBA: As Henry Abbot put it (with some small sense of bitterness): "Vinny Del Negro, you remember when you used to single cover Paul Pierce in his favorite spot with the game on the line? If would have had the decency to do that at the end of regulation, perhaps this game might have ended in time for the nation to see some of the first half of the most important game in recent Trail Blazer and Rocket history. (It really is amazing, though. All Game 6s should be televised somewhere. Couldn't NBATV pick that up?)" Although, in all fairess to the league, that games really wasn't worth watching, especially with Celtics-Bulls going on.

Lacktion report: Now watch Chris make sweet love to this lacktion. Or read. Whatever.

Magic-Sixers: Without Dwight Howard, the Magic STILL laid down the law at Wachovia Center, advancing to the second round. Theo Ratliff exemplified Philadelphia's fulity with a Voskuhl in 4:57 after negating a board and block with a brick, giveaway, and two fouls for a 3:1 ratio.

Celtics-Bulls: In a triple-overtime epic that will be talked about for years to come...several notable lacktators managed to avoid contributions through the 63 minute spectacle!

Boston's bench has been considered their Achilles heel for some time, and when Brad Miller's 23 points is more than twice the total of the warmup-wearers in green, that's a sure sign that something's wrong. Stephon Marbury may be all about Starbury.com, but tonight was a big shout out to Basketbawful.com with a +4 in 7:58 via foul and three missed shots, once all the way out from the Loop! Mikki Moore paid tribute to his Suckramento days with a statline that would make Kenny Natt proud: +1 via brick in 2:50.

Vinny Del Negro's upstarts weren't all about making clutch shots or amazing final-minute blocks in the third overtime, as two of them chose to take a trip to the local pizzeria for some sodas and spaghetti. Linton Johnson and Aaron Gray were Chicago's Mario Brothers for the evening, with respective stints of 15 and 43 seconds.

Blazers-Rockets: Clutch The Bear gets to see the second round for the first time in ages, and Chucky Hayes, in his third lacktive appearance this postseason, decided to slowly dial up his stockbroker for a 1.5 trillion to celebrate the momentous occasion! (This makes Chucky the first two-time money man in the playoffs.)
The zombie apocalypse: I warned you. I warned you all. Now I'm vindicated. From Wild Yams: "Mr. Bawful, since you brought up the impending zombie apocalypse, you'll be happy to know that swine flu has already begun turning people into zombies: 'After death, this virus is able to restart the heart of it’s victim for up to two hours after the initial demise of the person where the individual behaves in extremely violent ways from what is believe to be a combination of brain damage and a chemical released into blood during 'resurrection.' Also, if you're not sure if you may have already contracted swine flu, be sure to use this helpful website to diagnose yourself."

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58 Comments:
Anonymous Axel Foley said...
I dont think Rondo will be suspended and even Kirk said that Rondo shouldnt be suspended. I hate myself right now for not being able to see that game(stupid girlfriend). Are they gonna give it again on ESPN Classic or something? Does anyone know where i could see it? Im in dire need of assistance.

Anonymous Jaz said...
The way the Rondo video has been yanked from YouTube makes it clear: SterNBA doesn't want the world to dissect it, then howl when Rondo plays game 7.

Blogger Bcstein said...
As a semi-rational Blazers fan, it's a sad realization that Blazers trolls are just about on the same level as Raptors Truthers or the Kobe over MJ trolls.

It might be necessary to institute a basketball blog commenting ban for the state of Oregon for the next 6 months.

Anonymous Axel Foley said...
Jaz- Thats what Stern does best. Anything on Youtube that makes the NBA look bad is almost immediately taken off especially those awesome NBA fights everyone loves so much.

"Stern will cop out and sacrifice integrity for $$"
The problem with this statement is that Stern doesnt have any integrity to sacrifice.

Blogger ChrisH said...
henry gets a little petulant from time to time. I caught it too.

Blogger Andy said...
You'd also think, even outside the elbow, that chucking a guy out of bounds into a table would qualify as an excessive, unnecessary and unsportsmanlike. I mean, he doesn't just let him fall off balance, he holds him and then swings him out. I remember Posey getting chucked in 07 for bumping Hinrich from behind in a blowout, about the same amount of contact and both are pretty intentional.

I mean, that game was awesome and it's hard to say it would have been as much fun if Rondo was gone...but still...just doesn't sit right.

Blogger Cortez said...
"...he might have that "Never Been Out Of The First Round" monkey off his back RIGHT NOW."

Nah. Always remember, he's part of the problem.

Knee-Mac = (4-2 first round exit)

All this elbow throwing made me realize how much I hate dirty players. There's nothing tough, noble or necessary about it. Usually it's from some nitwit who hates that someone is crowding "their space".

How about relying on your physical abilities and skills? Or recognizing you're lacking in some important area and working on it?

This only applies to the initiator by the way. If someone responds with a chop to the throat or a well time leg sweep I say nothing to see here...play on.

Blogger Wild Yams said...
I'll guarantee you one thing: there is no freaking way that the league suspends Rondo for Game 7. Wanna know how I know that? The refs reviewed the video during the game last night and only gave Rondo a flagrant one, so it's absolutely beyond the realm of possibilities to think that the NBA league office will come out and say "we reviewed the tape too and thought the refs screwed up." Rondo's flagrant one will stand and that'll be the last you'll hear of that.

Mr. Bawful asked, so now I'll answer: vindication tastes sweeter than Yoohoo :) Going into that Blazers-Rockets series I was pretty sure Houston would win in 6. Portland was bad on the road all year, and being playoff virgins it just made sense that they might screw up and drop one of the first two at home. I'll give the Blazers a little credit though: I didn't expect Games 3 and 4 to be anywhere near as close as they were, and figured they'd be more like how Game 6 was. Nevertheless, Portland still has a lot to work on if they want to become serious threats, and it involves more than just "getting older". They need to work on actually playing a lick of defense and they need to develop some kind of low-post scoring threat. You really don't ever see teams win championships without both of those things. Also, they may want to see if Mike Chatfer has been released from prison, cause I hear he's pretty good and might help the Blazer cause.

The big question in the next round is whether the Magic will almost get a win by default over whoever comes out of that Boston-Bulls series, simply because you have to almost expect that whomever wins that series will be too worn out to compete in the next round. I'm tempted to say that may be the case, but if there's one thing I've absolutely taken away from this epic series, it's that there is no quit in either Boston or Chicago. I can't see either team folding easily.

Now that the West's 2nd round is set, here's my predictions: Lakers in 5, Nuggets in 7. My predictions in the last round were Lakers in 4, Blazers in 6, Nuggets in 5 or 6 and Dallas in 6, so I was close I guess. I think Denver-Dallas is gonna be next round's version of what we've seen from Chicago and Boston in this round (not quite that epic, but I mean it'll be the best series to watch).

Anonymous StottsEra said...
Finally, video proof of Josh Smith's failed dunk attempt from Wednesday, I doubt it will be up for long though

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7EprveDGVBA

Blogger Buck Nasty said...
So the Trailblazers were playoff virgins who got a little too excited (due to all the talk about how great it was going to be) and ending up going too fast, and boom.....they came (and went) in a pretty uncompetitve six games.

Six games to a team that hasn't been out of the first round in more than a decade is about equal to <= 2 minutes , I'd say. I hope I'm being clear in interweb diction.
^^^^^^^^
(SEXUAL INNUENDO)

Speaking of sexual innuendo, apparently Vinny Del Negro got even more excited about the game than Bawful, as that telling picture showed us.

I guess the opposite of his dull-Negrometer comments is.....a playoff boner.

Anonymous La Dolce Vita said...
I was hoping after Noah stole Pierce's pass and dunked on him he would run over to Garnett and bark in his face for a few seconds.

Anonymous StottsEra said...
is espn.com trying to censor Vinny? http://twitpic.com/4ci92

Anonymous Gengar said...
Can anybody blame Vinny Del Negro for harboring a grotesque erection? Last night's game was so exciting that anybody who didn't have a hard-on by the end of the first overtime was either a female or had a tragic accident some time ago.

As spectacular as this series has been, I have been noticing a few irritating trends from the two star point guards; namely, their complete inability to perform in the clutch. For the first three quarters of any game, there is no athlete whom (I hope I used "whom" correctly) Rondo or Rose cannot compete with. However, late in the fourth quarter and in the overtime session(s), these two young guards pull a tag-team Houdini (whatever the hell that is). Except for Rose's last-second block, he did nothing in the overtimes save a few turnovers (not to mention bricking two crucial free-throws). Same goes for Rajon "I'm taking this contested, turnaround fadeaway instead of passing the ball to 51-points Ray Allen" Rondo.

As for Orlando being better without Dwight Howard ... I doubt it. Perhaps their ball movement is better without him, but that doesn't make up for the countless putbacks and offensive rebounds/tapouts he's responsible for. Not to mention how depleted the Magic's paint area is when Howard isn't there to defend it. If Philly had any potent big men or committed slashers, there isn't much the "Polish Hammer" could do about it.

Note: Who here agrees with me that Gary Payton is the worst currently active studio analyst?

Anonymous AK Dave said...
A friend of mine said that Hinrich put some kind of "hit" on Scalibrine to "deserve" getting tossed into the scorers table.

To which I replied: "If your big man needs a 6-0 guard to stand up for him, he's a bigger pussy than I ever imagined."

Did anyone see that? I typically don't watch Scal off the ball when when the play is going on (check that- I NEVER pay attention to Scal), so I missed that. Anyway, if this were hockey, Kirk-Rajon I would have been a good fight. I'd take Hinrich in that one, just because he looked way more pissed off than Rondo (Berserker RAGE!!). I've never SEEN Kirk so mad- it was awesome!

Matt- why shouldn't Kirk have taken the wide-open layup (which was goaltended)? I think if you are given that shot, you have to take it, no matter what. You won't get points any more easily, so I'm just not sure how he gets a WoTN for it?

Also no mention of Brad Miller really stepping up and hitting a huge 3 plus clutch free throws to keep the Bulls alive in this game? I know that's not a 'worst of', but sometimes you can spin good performances by one guy into something negative for the other or something. I mean, Miller was a BEAST-MAN last night, after getting bitch-slapped by Rondo in game 5, he really manned-up. I think you have consider putting Miller on the "All-Hombre" squad for this year (maybe not all-time, but this season for sure).

Blogger Dan said...
Eh, they showed a replay on TNT of the Rondo "goaltend" and it looked like he JUST missed to me. I thought it was a goaltend at first, too, but the replay had a good angle and I changed my mind.

Anonymous Czernobog said...
@Wild Yams: I agree about the Denver-Dallas series being one to watch, but I don't see it going to 7 games.

Because the games will be close, and, y'know, Dirk.

Blogger Cortez said...
"...they said outright that Orlando was...wow...better without Howard."

Yet another stunning example of the epic failure of the public school system for a certain subset of students.

...and I don't even like Howard that much!

They should have simply said that the Magic can still be an effective team, especially against overmatched opponents, without Howard and left it at that.

Anonymous hellshocked said...
Someone should probably remove all sharp objects from Tracy McGrady's house tonight. Shoelaces too.

I bet Yao is staring at Tracy every change he gets and just smiling.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
A more tragic end to the McGrady story:
On a relief mission to the Sudan, Tracy McGrady and his family are slaughtered by janjaweed. And to top it off, the world's media still ignores the crisis in Darfur.

Anonymous Wormboy said...
TONY ALLEN!!!!!

I was screaming at the TV when he entered the game. The cats hid under the bed because of my vocal reaction to his shots. :)

What, is he thinking "I'm the man, I'll make this and save the day?" Really???

Blogger Caleb Smith said...
I've been sick of Blazer fans from the moment this season started. It was suddenly cool and trendy to like the Blazers.. they somehow became the Hipster's favorite NBA team.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
They came first for the Kings, And I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Kings fan;

And then they came for the Mavericks, And I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a. Mavs fan;

And then they came for the Suns, And I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Suns fan;

And then . . . they came for me . . . And by that time there was no one left to speak up."

Fuck all y'all.

Anonymous RT said...
"When the TNT crew was discussing the Magic-Sixers game during halftime of Celtics-Bulls, they said outright that Orlando was...wow...better without Howard."

Might this have something to do with the fact that Howard works out with...wow...Patrick ChEwing? Where's Hakeem when you need him?!? Imagine, Superman II: the Return of the Dream Shake

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=29WpgU0pqN8

Blogger Buck Nasty said...
Feel the burn of the Suns fan HL.

Feel it and learn to embrace it.

......That's what she said (or I told her?).

Anonymous Czernobog said...
Oh yeah, I remember how nobody said anything about the refs during the 2006 and 2007 playoffs. no one at all...

Anonymous AK Dave said...
Basketbawful-

Nevermind. I read "by the Horns"- you lauded Miller enough for one day (but the guy did deserve praise after his MAN-type game). Well done :D But I would be interested in knowing why Kirk shouldn't take a wide-open layup 10 out of 10 times given half a chance and a quarter of the opportunity.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
AnacondaHL-

Funny, in a grotesque, mildly inappropriate WWII mass-murder sort of way, however I think the whole world spoke up during all of the instances you named, and David "Der Fuehrer" Stern covered his ears and said "LA LA LA- Ich kann Euch nicht hoeren!!!"

So, like, fuck you too, eh?

Blogger chris said...
AnacondaHL: Paxson and Ainge spoke up for the Kings though by giving Salmons, Miller, and Moore a place to play in the postseason!

Blogger chris said...
BTW, isn't it [Word That KG Mouths On The Bench] all, y'all...

Blogger Cortez said...
"Who here agrees with me that Gary Payton is the worst currently active studio analyst?"

If not the worst, he is certainly in an elite group of half-assed clowns.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Buck Nasty: Your comment has a horribly unintentional second meaning, since you know the original poem was about Nazi Germany, and the third line I specifically made about the Suns was originally about the Jews...

Blogger Basketbawful said...
Eh, I'm behind on my replies. A few quickies:

Cortez -- Yeah. Dirty players suck ass. I'm fine with tough, aggressive plays and good, hard fouls. But elbow swings and cheap shots are a quitter's way out.

Dan -- You don't have to touch the ball to commit a goaltend. When the ball's in the cylinder, you can't touch the ball, backboard, rim or net. Rondo clearly smacked the backboard after swiping at the ball.

AK Dave -- In that situation, Kirk should have dribbled away from the defense to take time off the clock and force a foul. The way Allen was shooting, why give the Celtics more time to get him an open shot?

Anonymous DKH said...
Anyone have a video of the Kirk layup/Rondo goaltend situation? Nothing that I can find on youtube seems to have a good shot of it.

Blogger Cortez said...
"When the ball's in the cylinder, you can't touch the ball, backboard, rim or net."

That's not completely correct. You have hit the rim net or backboard in manner that affects the ball.

(The more my skills diminish the greater my reliance on minor technicalities of the rule book.)

At any rate, I'm fed up at work (taming lions/various random feats of strength) I think I'll leave early today!

Anonymous AK Dave said...
Basketbawful-

I hear what you're saying... but I feel like if you're standing under the basket and have a chance to put it in for 2- you do it, and force the other team to score. It's not like Kirk hasn't missed important free throws in his career (or in this series), so I'd take the "sure thing" over putting him at the line. I know he "missed" that shot, but the likelihood of him missing that shot is far less than that of him missing one of two free throws. Also, your comment that Kirk should be thanking Rose for that blocked shot... well, I mean, Kirk has a legitimate gripe about goaltending. Rose... he just flubbed his 2 free throws, so I'd say they're even.

I also see your point about Ray Allen's shooting, to which I say: club him in the head in an attempt to "block the shot". That seems to be the prevailing wisdom in the league these days :D

Happy Friday people!

Blogger chris said...
AK Dave: Of course, the commentators noted rightly that Rose's second charity brick was smarter than actually making the shot, as it took away any in-bound time for the C's.

Blogger BJ said...
Western Conference, Where Mass Exorcism Of First Round Demons Happens.
-BJ

Blogger Buck Nasty said...
Ahh! I didn't even realize until you said that. I believe I read that in a Holocaust picture book. No, I'm serious. It was horrible. And about 100 pages long.

Anonymous Ash Haque said...
Anyone else watch the postgame conference with Ron Artest / Yao Ming?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=75RwXPlDom0#t=0m52s

Anonymous Big Taste said...
vinny was wearing pleated trousers, it could have happened to any of us!

Anonymous ButtZilla said...
Carlisimo rasped out 'The only guy I remember with hands as strong as Artest was Karl Malone. He used to strip guys all the time.'"

ROFLMAO!!!!

Blogger chris said...
BTW, with the frequency that the second coming of Sam Bowie takes fouls, should fouling out become known as "Greg Oden Status" or some variant thereof? ;)

In any case, I think it's clear that the original definition of "Odenize" here failed to take into account his fragility or his penchant for being deep in the penalty.

Blogger chris said...
ButtZilla: Actually, Carlesimo is wrong, aren't Spree's hands the strongest that he's ever experienced?

Anonymous Anonymous said...
ROFL @ Chris.

That's bawful.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Chris and lack enthusiasts: Re: Oden:

I spent some time on basketball reference trying to find a metric, but foul outs are quite rare, and there are many other unsung performers both in overall TOs and TOs/gm and TOs/min.

An Oden just has to include some subjective measurement of disappointment and wasted potential, unless you all can crunch the numbers some other way to display the bawful.

Blogger BadDave said...
So I finally realized what that this picture of you is him AFTER the "Portland Trailblazer". *shudder*

Anonymous DKH said...
Really? You guys are attaching "wasted potential" to Oden after a rookie season in which he led the league in offensive rebounding rate and was top 10 in overall rebounding rate? He was also top 25 in true shooting percentage and had a PER of 18.13 (league average is 15). He's certainly got foul problems (almost one per five minutes), but he's a rookie and there isn't a lot of evidence for "wasted potential."

Blogger Buck Nasty said...
To go into "Oden Status" is to play with such hopelessness that

(although you may be a young man that has skills that could develop)

all of your fans already feel that you are a lost cause, possibly due to your apparent advanced physical age.

An example of Oden status would be Ben Wallace when he went to Chicago and then Cleveland. He was still (under?) thirty, but played like he was 50.

This is moniker is due to Oden's appearance of advanced age, and his ability to "Kwame Brown things up."

To "Kwame Brown things up" - Ruin easy/ spectacular assists by:

A. Fumbling with the ball until defense comes and embarrasses you

B. Fumbling the ball out of bounds/ through your hands.

or to

C. Foul at the worst possible time, clumsily showing your inability to move your feet/ play to what was thought as your previous ability.

Part of that was the definition of stone hands, and part of it was Pure Kwame (tm)/ Pure Oden (tm).

Both are different levels of 'Bawful.

Blogger chris said...
AnacondaHL: Well, if someone averages 4+ fouls a game, that's in Greg Oden territory isn't it...though I think that he surprisingly doesn't average that many.

And as far as disappointment and wasted potential are concerned, I'm still not convinced that Oden is the best overall figurehead (that's either Kwame or Sam Bowie right?).

Blogger WwBoZowW said...
lol at the Bulls coach

Anonymous DKH said...
Wow, apparently Doc Rivers is complaining about the Chicago bench hassling his players. No irony there.Anyway, worst-of to the NBA for doing everything they can to ensure the outcome of this series.

Sidenote: how much does Brad Miller lumber into everything. Every time he goes to pick someone, I can't believe he gets there in time. (As I was typing this, he got in the passing lane and picked off the ball, though.)

Another sidenote: the broadcasters are making a lot of the points-in-the-paint discrepancy, and right as they say something, John Salmons gets the ball inside and is "bumped" from behind by Perkins as he makes the shot. I say "bumped" because, really, he jumped into Perkins rather than the other way around. I don't think that should be a foul on the defense, so I don't have a problem with the call, but I've seen Boston get the call on at least three separate plays in the second half (didn't see the first half).

Blogger Toasterhands said...
Against a mid-level team such as the Sixers, sure, a missing Dwight might actually be a blessing, but against anyone else...

I'll continue eating my strawberries and act like none of this ever happened.

Anonymous DKH said...
OK, guys, Greg Oden averages 1 foul for every 5.5 minutes of floor time. He played 61 games this year and averaged 21.5 minutes on the floor.

Compare, now, to Roy Hibbert (another rookie): he played 70 games this season, and 14.4 minutes per game. He picks up fouls at a rate of one foul every 4.6 minutes of floor time.

So as long as we're looking for rapid foul metrics, anyone got someone who fouls faster than that? I'd look to Hibbert as a fast-fouling big man before Oden, especially as Oden puts up other stats decently.

Blogger Ignarus said...
I'd like to put of a WoTN nomination for Paul Pierce's horrible, horrible mutton chops. I rarely get on anyone's case about hair, but he's got the hair version of a strangulated hernia glued to the sides of his face.

Blogger Ignarus said...
I've got a problem with people claiming that "David Stern has no integrity." Regardless of what you think of the guy, the beef you've got with him is over what he actually sees as his responsibility to the league (e.g. the owners).

You can definitely disagree with what he apparently thinks is important for the NBA and find his way of talking about things to be dishonest, but in order to say that indicates his lack in integrity, you'd have to assume that honest, direct speech was one of his core values in the first place.

I'm not making any excuses for the guy or anything like that. I'm just prodding people to reconsider assuming that "integrity" is a virtue - if you're a selfish, mean-spirited lout, maybe your towering sense of integrity just makes you worse.

Anonymous Ash Haque said...
Mario West FTW!!
Instead of getting an easy breakaway dunk, he botches it, and then proceeds to get a technical foul for hanging onto the rim.

Blogger BadDave said...
Points to Ignarus for a cogent argument about the nature of integrity.

But I hate you for defending Stern in any capacity. :) I'll agree that he may have integrity, but I can make solid arguments for:
honesty
equity
justice
responsibilty
and bermarti.

Actually, I don't know what bermarti is, but it was my capcha today.

Anonymous Adrià said...
Ron Ron is definitely the best TNT analyst coming up. It's just a matter of time.

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