If there is a God, and He reads Basketbawful, then I can only pray that He will one day grant me the opportunity to interview Ron Artest. Forget Shaq. Artest is the true MQE (Most Quotable Ever). In his latest oratorical masterpiece, Ron informs us that Brandon Roy is better than Kobe Bryant and LeBron James (even though "his defense is kind of suspect"), names "a guy from my hood from Queensbridge, a guy named Mike Chatfer, he went to jail a couple of years" as the best player he's ever played against, and states flatly that Charles Barkley was overrated ("He was a little small -- he didn't have no defense.") His crazy is much better suited to aimless talking than brawling. We need a Ron Artest reality show, immediately.


[From ClutchFans, via AK Dave.]

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13 Comments:
Anonymous Ryan said...
Pure gold right there.

Blogger KneeJerkNBA said...
Barkley was scared to get into a beef with Ron Ron. All he could muster was a bitchy comment about Artest's haircut.

Blogger DDC said...
I don't think Bark was scared of Ron Ron, I just think he realizes that Ron Ron has some screws loose so he let him win.

Anonymous That Guy said...
I'm curious as to what people think about round 2 and Dallas/Denver.

It looks to me like Denver should totally roll Dallas, but lots of people see it going to 7, and Simmons gives the impression that he likes Dallas in that series.

Denver (who has earned their "D" back, in a HUGE way) should roll them imo, because:

-they have mobile, tall bigs who can harass Dirk in Martin and Anderson

-they have a stronger bench (Terry isn't a bench player and doesn't play bench minutes so I don't count him- I never considered Manu a bench player either, just a starter who comes in 5min later than the rest)

-they have home court

-they have people to throw at Howard (Jones)

-Billups can guard Kid 1on1 without worrying about fouls

-they win the matchup at every position except the 4, and I'm not even sure if Dirk can win his matchup with Martin


So How does this series become competitive? How does Denver not blow them out? Anyone?

Blogger flohtingPoint said...
You gotta love Ron. He's like a real life Tracy Jordan. Is it really that hard to picture him running down the streets of Houston screaming "I AM A JEDI!!!!"

Anonymous Gengar said...
There are some people who are "quotable" because they endeavor to be so, and there are others who are "quotable" by no recognizable effort of their own. When Shaq says something bewildering or hilarious, you can rest assured he consciously made the decision to draw such a reaction for his own personal amusement. When Ron Artest renders us speechless or causes us to laugh, he is not trying to be amusing - he is genuinely being himself.

That said, I've seen Brandon Roy put up better performances against Artest than I have LeBron. Kobe has recently been getting the better of Ronny, but there have been times in the past where Artest has clearly won the matchup. In that sense, Artest's comments about Roy may not be as silly as we'd like to believe.

By the way, if I was the GM of any NBA team, I would be sure to contact Mike Chafter as soon as possible in the off-season, presuming he's served his prison sentence. You could probably sign him for pennies on the dollar, and have a player who's better than Brandon Roy, Kobe Bryant, and LeBron James.

Anonymous DeWoof01 said...
Being a Blazer fan, i love hearing someone say BRoy is the best player out there. On the other hand when it comes from Artest theres a grain of salt attached. I believe that Roy is easily in the top 10 players in the NBA right now, and i think most people will respect that as the truth. However, i really don't think he is "the best", he has the potential in a couple years, but he needs more development in order to reach the level Ron is talking about. Does Ron have like OCD or something because it looked like he was bouncing and looking around nonstop during that interview did it not?

Anonymous Anonymous said...
@flothing point
tracy morgan is a real life tracy jordan too...

Blogger Wild Yams said...

Anonymous FooTara said...
he is WRONG:
http://www.basketball-reference.com/boxscores/200701040SAC.html

Blogger Mintz... said...
I don't think RonRon was saying that Brandon Roy is the best player in the league right now. He wasn't even saying that Roy is better than Kobe or Lebron... What he said is that Roy is the best player he's ever played against... I think he's just saying it's the hardest match up hes ever had.

Blogger Ignarus said...
Why is Spike Lee wasting his time on a Kobe documentary when a Ron Artest one would be sooooo much better?

Anonymous Passers Remorse said...
Ron Artest claims he saw a man murdered on the court back in the day:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z3_xmYLBnnA&feature=player_embedded

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