How bad is the swine flu pandemic? Well, you know it's pretty bad when the world's flu experts start breaking out words that 89 percent of high school seniors probably don't know. (Pandemic means "prevalent over a whole area, country, etc." by the way.) But how's this for perspective: Mexico is shutting down. The whole country. FOR FIVE DAYS. You can now join me in saying, "Holy sh*t!"

But let's not freak out too badly, okay? I mean, unless the world's governments are using this as a cover for a zombie apocalypse -- and I haven't ruled that out just yet -- then the swine flu isn't something we haven't faced before. And beaten. Like back in the 1970s, when the following super-awesome PSA was made. Now, normally I wouldn't give something like this its own post...except for its rather comical juxtaposition of race, which is totally basketball-related.

At the 14-second mark, we are introduced to two young black men, dressed in grubby-looking t-shirts and jeans, playing basketball in what seems to be a schoolyard. One of them takes a quick breather to say, "Swine flu? Man, I'm too fast to let it catch me." (You then see him in bed with a thermometer in his mouth, presumably near death.) Next we see a white man. Or should I say, The White Man. Older, well-spoken, suited up, obviously wealthy and powerful with a huge desk and big comfy office. And he doesn't play some poor man's (i.e., black man's) sport like basketball. He plays GOLF. Every weekend! That's right, GOLF. The rich man's game. The white man's game.

In the big scheme of things, it's not that big a deal. After all, a lot has changed since the 1970s. Disco is dead (except for in certain prominent gay dance clubs), bell-bottoms (dorky!) are now referred to as boot-cuts (cool!), a black man is the best golfer on the planet, and a black basketball player is President of the United States. So, you know, those people in the 70s might as well have been living on Pluto. Which, as it happens, was a planet in 1970 but has since been reclassified as a mere dwarf planet...and only the second-largest one of those in our solar system. But it's still pretty funny to see how laughingly backward our Plutonian forbears were just a few short decades ago.

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16 Comments:
Blogger Buck Nasty said...
Solar system, my good man. Spell check at work.

In other news, I got out of school today due to the swine flu, so other than the horrors it may wreak on mankind in the coming days, I'd like to thank it for a two day reprieve from public education.

That PSA is priceless, you've got your slovenly old blue color guy, a pompous young negro who thinks he can out-run the disease, and a clueless old honkey who thinks that golf makes him "the healthiest fifty-five year old you've ever seen."

I think not sir, as you actually appear to be in your mid-sixties. W.C. Fields was a healthier fifty-five year old. That's what I say suuuhhh.

(imagine that as a W.C. Fields voice)

Anonymous AK Dave said...
EVIL TED!!!

Your Hyundai commercial is famous man. I just got a forwarded email whose subject line was "New Hyundai Spot?" and it was forwarded from my Uncle, who is a Human Resources director in the Bay Area.

I opened it up and there was your video.

Congratulations- you're so famous now! (Can we hang out- please? Call me!)

Anonymous Dan B. said...
That must be some seriously bad-ass swine flu if every single person the infected person comes in contact with catches it. Run for the hills!!!

Blogger Hapi said...
hello... hapi blogging... have a nice day! just visiting here....

Anonymous Al James said...
I can't believe that guy kissed his mother-in-law full on the mouth. What a playa.

Blogger Buck Nasty said...
collar* Perhaps I need spell check.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
godspeed Dotty

Blogger Buck Nasty said...
Bawful, check out the front page of Yahoo right now, and look at the thing about the guy who runs that end of the bench blog getting (essentially) threatened by the NBA to leave the draft.

I seem to recall a Truehoop article on a guy who never even played basketball entering the draft (as a joke). This didn't happen to him, did it?

Blogger Evil Ted said...
AK Dave,

Thanks for the info. That video was lightning in a bottle (when people start stealing it on youtube.com, you know you're onto something).

The vid is getting close to immortality on funnyordie.com, and when it reaches the pinnacle, bawful and I will probably have an office party to celebrate our imaginary greatness.

Now that I'm pseudo-famous, however, hanging out with me may only be done at an hourly rate. I'm not, like, hooker expensive, but expect to pay for all lunches, drinks, and sporting events for the privelege.

ET

Blogger Dan said...
"Betty gave it to her best friend Dotty. But Dotty had a heart condition, and she died."

Classic.

Anonymous Jai said...
The NBA Playoffs. Where Rondo's Dirty Bitch Ass Happens.I was just going to leave that in a comment.... but here's more... since your CAPTCHA script is awesome...

Blogger Wild Yams said...
Mr. Bawful, since you brought up the impending zombie apocalypse, you'll be happy to know that swine flu has already begun turning people into zombies:

After death, this virus is able to restart the heart of it’s victim for up to two hours after the initial demise of the person where the individual behaves in extremely violent ways from what is believe to be a combination of brain damage and a chemical released into blood during “resurrection.”Also, if you're not sure if you may have already contracted swine flu, be sure to use this helpful website to diagnose yourself.

Anonymous Axel Foley said...
Wild Yams- Youre joking right? Please tell me youre not joking so that i an go break into one of my secret lairs...
http://www.cracked.com/article_17278_6-incredible-real-world-supervillain-lairs.html

Blogger Buck Nasty said...
Get that update going Bawful, I have words to say about how Ben Gordon nearly cost his team the victory.

Blogger eileen said...
One of my friends noticed an awkward Vinny Del Negro moment- yikes.

Blogger Wild Yams said...
Axel Foley - Yeah, that article was a goof, but it's pretty funny, trying to make it seem like it's a real BBC story about zombies :)

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