I had no idea Vinny was a fan of the Digital Underground

Sorry, but I had to open strong today. Gotta celebrate since I bowled my fourth sanctioned 300 game last night in league. What makes it even better is that my dad rolled his first 300 game last week in the same league! I'm really proud of him. And I can't think of any better way to celebrate (other than partying with Turkoglu) than watching the video for The Humpty Dance again. Yeah, I'm a little bit pissed they for some reason bleeped out the classic "Burger King" reference, but whatever.

It's nice to know I'm not alone on this one... Not only did Bawful pass along his respect for Tim Duncan in last night's BAD comments, but now Sports Illustrated's fantastic Joe Posnaski has written a counterpoint to Dan Shaugnessy's ridiculous article I wrote about yesterday. Stats don't always tell the whole story, but they go a long way in many discussions, and this is one such example. Duncan is a basketball machine, and that's all there is to it.

Worst of the Night in Pictures:

Flip Saunders' descent into madness continues as he now believes he is Spiderman

"I can't believe Derrick Rose stat cursed us so badly!!"

See that look on Grant Hill's face? That's intensity. This is a man very focused on his man love.

Nationally Televised Games:
Warriors at Jazz: A chance to see Don Nelson on ESPN? Count me in!

All The Other Games:
Lakers at Hawks: Will the Lakers actually give a shit? (shakes Magic 8 ball) Sources point to "no."

Bucks at Crabs: Forget that piece of crap 3D movie. The REAL Clash of the Titans is here: The Fish versus King Crab!

Clippers at Raptors: B-Dizzle will miss this game. Without the strength of his beard, the poor Clippers have a tough battle ahead. Not that they wouldn't anyway, but still.

76ers at Bobcats: This theoretically should be a relatively easy game for the Bobcats. But then again, this is the team that dropped two to the Nyets, so I can't put anything past them.

Thunder at Celtics: After that loss beatdown anal raping at the hands of the San Antonio Spurs (who went on to lose to the Nyets, mind you), I have zero expectations for this game and just want the regular season to end.

Heat at Pistons: It's so cold in the D, even when the Heat come to town.

Suns at Nyets: If the Nyets win this game, I'm going to start a new business selling hot coffee and ice skates in Hell.

Wizards Generals Bullets at Hornets: One last shot (Ha. I just made an unintentional gun-related joke in a Bullets writeup!) to prevent the ultimate March Sadness. Can Washington win one freaking game in the entire month of March??

Kings Purple Paupers at Timberwolves Timberpoops: It's hard to wrap my mind around just how truly bawful this game is. How often do I feel compelled to do the strike-through-the-name joke for two teams in one game?

Mavericks at Grizzlies: I didn't realize that the Mavs were just one game away from notching their tenth-consecutive 50 win season. Holy crap. That's pretty impressive, really. Nice to have a little anti-bawful every once in awhile!

Rockets at Spurs: Conversely, the Spurs are looking at potentially ending their own 10-season 50 win streak this year. (And for reference, the Showtime era Lakers are the only other team to do that!) Hopefully the Spurs show up feeling like they have something to prove after that abomination of a game against the Nyets...

Bricks at Frail Blazers: Well, now that Eddy Curry has officially been ruled out for the rest of the season, the rest of the Bricks can fine-tune their gameplan and start winning. Right? (Wrong.)

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Blogger Ash said...
Holy Crap!

"The league announced Wednesday that fans can make their pick for the league's Most Valuable Player, with the combined fans' choice counting for one vote on the official ballot.

Starting Thursday through April 15, fans can go to www.NBA.com/KiaMVPFanVote and rank their top five choices. The other 124 votes will come from a panel of sports writers and broadcasters."

Well, here's my top-five vote:

Darnell "Lacktion" Jackson
Mario West
Steve Novak
DJ Mbenga
Darko Milicic

Everyone, get your votes in, stat, so that LeBron doesn't run the table!

Blogger chris said...
The REAL Clash of the Titans is here: The Fish versus King Crab!

Dan, isn't this also what we call "Sunday early morning programming on The Nashville Network?"

Anonymous Sorbo said...
Holy Shit. I must have watched "Wrong" 20 times. Awesome video.

Blogger Dan B. said...
Sorbo -- Would expect any less from Commando, one of the definitive 80s style action movies?

Blogger Andrei said...
Although King Crab rarely provides the bawful we desire on the court we might be getting some awful off the court this summer:

Cleveland's superstar said Wednesday night that he's "probably not playing" for Team USA this summer in the world championships in Turkey. James, who was a captain on the U.S. team that won a gold medal at the Beijing Games in 2008, is eligible for free agency after the season and is scheduled to film a movie.

Space Jam 2 anyone? Might be the best way to continue the Jordan comparisons.

Blogger Unknown said...
Suns Announcer just said he expected a run from the second unit. Stat Curse?

Anonymous ibanezz said...
i think the lakers bench are paid to miss their shots..its as if all they can do is chuck up 3's that are going nowhere..good job guys!

Blogger Unknown said...
And after the stat-curse, Nets go +7 to end the half, now up 3.

San Antonio has given me hope as a Blazer fan.

Blogger AnacondaHL said...

Nash with 16 high fives as he goes to the bench, as counted by the YES announcers.

Blogger chris said...
Whatever happened to the nonexistent Adelman glory years?


Blogger chris said...
McDonald's High School All-American game is on ESPN right now, before Nellieball vs. a legitimate contender.

Dan, you attended this way back when, didn't you? How many folks from that year became the lacktators of today?

This is much more competitive than Paupers-Timberpoops.

Blogger Dan B. said...
Chris -- I attended the 2007 game. At some point during the off-season, I really should do a post about it, and look at what the roster accomplishments have been since then. We have a lot of range, from Derrick Rose, OJ Mayo, Kevin Love, and Michael Beasley to... Kosta Koufos.

Blogger chris said...
Wolves just ended their 16 game losing streak, thanks to Excremento.

I know it's all about "playing out the stretch" at this point, but really, is a team like this going to make the case to the Sactown public that they deserve a new arena?

Blogger chris said...
Every time I see the Hollinger ticker segment for ESPN's bottomline, I can't help but think we need to use the outdated HTML tag "Marquee" to produce some lacktator-stat tickers!!!!

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Nash led the Suns in rebounds tonight (as well as points and assists). What the hell is he doing leading a team in rebounds? He had 7 while the most any starting frontcourt player had was 4, seems kind of a failure for your point guard to outrebound Amar''''''e.

Blogger Unknown said...
Check out this towel/face palm:

Anonymous DKH said...
Rebounds are actually some portion of luck. What's really important is the number of rebounds in a player's zone that the player ends up with. But that's difficult to express and report.

However, I didn't see the Suns game, so I can't speak to whether the statistical anomaly is due to luck or Amare's poor rebounding (one reason I opposed his being traded to the Cavs).

Blogger Preveen said...
Something to cheer Chris up.

Anonymous winnetou said...
AnacondaHL's comment prompted me to look up the video again, so here it is: High Fivin with Steve Nash and Jess the Intern.

There was also a recent article (possibly seen on truehoop) mentioning how touching teammates was a championship contender trait, but can't find it right now.

Anonymous Magnum said...
I'd say Dave from Blazers Edge summed up the Blazer-Knicks game perfectly with: "Blazers 118, Knicks DNP".


Bonus: Has a "worst of the night" photo candidate at the top.

Blogger Barry said...
Cold in The D....what a video that is. If there were some pro ballers in that video, it'd be Bawful to the Max.

I can dig it.

Blogger Barry said...

Darko Milicic
Kosta Koufos
Cedric Jackson
Darnell Jackson
Kwame Brown

.That's just gold/

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Winnetou - "AnacondaHL's comment prompted me to look up the video again, so here it is: High Fivin with Steve Nash and Jess the Intern."

Dude thank you. And I have to admit. I put my hand up to the screen at the end.