Rajon Rondo
If you told me this picture was Photoshopped, I would believe you

Another week of life, another week of bad basketball to document.

When browsing through the weekend's pictures, I saw this photo of Wizards Generals Bullets "surely-soon-to-be-former" coach Flip Saunders:

Original Flip Saunders pic
Nice open shirt and plunging neckline, Flip.

Now, is it just me or is this picture missing something? Doesn't it just seem like he should be rocking exposed chest hair and a gold chain and medallion?

Hold on while I fire up Photoshop...

Chest hair and a gold medallion. Oh yeah.There. That's better. It's subtle and understated, but looks right at home, doesn't it? (Thankfully your computer can't transmit scents, or you would be overwhelmed by a mix of cheap aftershave and old man funk.)

Alright, now let's get to the rest of the ridiculous pictures. A lot of material to work with this weekend.

Worst of the Weekend in Pictures:

Big Baby Davis

If this doesn't sum up the Celtics' lackadaisical approach the past few weeks, nothing does

Sean Paul at a Nets game
This picture makes me want to punch Sean Paul

Vag Carter
This picture makes me want to punch Vinsanity Vag Carter. Or sprain his toe.

Shaun Livingston and Theo Ratliff
Aww, how sweet. They're awkwardly dancing while holding hands!

Gerald Wallace all up on Mike Miller
Aww, how sweet. They're awkwardly dry humping!

Chairman Yi
Chairman Yi approves of these displays of man love

Iquodala must really like that McDonald's ad

Antoine Wright and Sonny Weems
"Oh my God, we even (gasp) played defense and still lost!!!"

Ginobili and Hickson

Nationally Televised Games:
Nuggets at Mavericks: As noted in the Stats LLC game preview, "Nowitzki will try to avoid scoring fewer than 20 in five straight games for the first time since a six-game stretch Nov. 8-15, 2000." Well, I guess they'll be fine if Rodrigue Beaubois can drop another 40 points, right? (clears throat)

All The Other Games:
Raptors at Bobcats: Things don't look so great right now for the Craptors. But hey, it's the Eastern Conference. They don't even have to finish at .500 to make the playoffs.

Spurs at Nyets: I am, for the moment at least, retiring my use of AnacondaHL's fantastic facepalming Nyets logo. It's been bad luck for us lately. We can still hope for a tie with the '72-'73 Sixers at 9 wins, right? (Not to mention the Timberpoops are still on track to have one of the 20 worst seasons in Association history as well! Yes!)

Meanwhile, where in the hell has this Spurs team been all season?? Even with Tim Duncan's play resembling a mummy in slow motion compared to just a couple years ago, they're playing by far their best basketball of the season. I thought Manu's last couple of weeks were an aberration, but he's keeping up the pace, and the team is peaking at the right time. I just don't know if they can keep up that pace.

Lakers at Hornets: Hornets coach Jeff Bower said "We understand the need to compete and prepare and play the game and build some momentum." Uh, momentum for what? Hitting the golf course a few weeks earlier than the teams going to the playoffs? Or I guess in Chris Paul's case, the bowling lanes.

Knicks at Jazz: As noted by Basketbawful reader Stockton in the comments, "Today's games features the Utah Jazz vs Utah Lottery Pick." (Fun fact about the Jazz: they were only 2 games over .500 as of January 8th, yet they're now 48-26, and we might as well go ahead and make that 49-26...)


Blogger Will said...
Oh no, Dan, you've just stat-cursed the Jazz tonight.

Blogger Dylan said...
I like the sprained toe for Vince. If you punch him, he'll definitely come back after you with his entire entourage. But if you "accidentally" sprain his toe, it'll be a nagging injury that might actually force him to pass the ball occasionally. That'll make everyone somewhat happier.

Anonymous Shrugz said...

gotta love hedo's response

I guess going to a club he expected no one would take pictures?

Yi looks like he is turning Japanese on this photo ;)

Anonymous Anonymous said...
That has the potential to be an epic stat curse on the Jazz. Losing to the Knicks (shameful enough in its own right) PLUS dropping games in the Western playoff race PLUS losing ground on their lottery pick.

Anonymous The Jorge said...
If you just stat cursed Utah by upping their win total, like you did last Friday btw, I will always hate you...always.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
Dan, you've set a pretty high standard with the BAD pics...but this post was a high point.

Anonymous kazam92 said...

Folks. Sheer tragedy has struck. I...I dont think we'll be able to recover for a long time


Anonymous The Other Chris said...
Nets... win?!? Thanks a lot, San Antonio. FACEPALM.

Now, what I have to look forward to is.. seeing the Craptors play the Clippers on Wednesday? Kill me now.

Blogger DDC said...
I want to submit a loud FUCK YOU to the Spurs for losing to the Nyets. I know Ginobilli didn't play and Timmy D is a shell of himself these days, but Sweet Artis Gilmore's afro, you lost to the NYETS!!! Damn it!

WV: regases
As in the Spurs regases horribly in their loss to the Nyets.

Blogger Dan B. said...
God damn motherfucking sonofabitch shit insert other random vulgarities here. Everybody was complaining about me playing with fire on the Jazz/Bricks game, but it turns out I stat cursed the holy hell out of the Spurs by downtalking them going into the weekend, then celebrating them just before they shat the bed.

Bawful -- Thanks, but I think we can also mark this post a low point as well. I'm just going to go to bed now and hope I wake up and it was all just a nightmare.

Anonymous Czernobog said...
Fuck! Ass!

The fact that I'm more bummed about a Nets win then I am happy about a Craptors road win says it all about this season.

Blogger Basketbawful said...
Jesus. The Yahoo! NBA page proclaims a "perfect 10" for the Nyets. Not even Dorell Wright's penis escapades can cheer me up now.


Blogger AnacondaHL said...
Ahaha, did the Nets just beat the Spurs?

Blogger Basketbawful said...
Ahaha, did the Nets just beat the Spurs?

Of course. Because that make sense, right?

Blogger chris said...
And don't forget...Tim Duncan turned the ball over with 7.6 seconds left.


Tim Duncan, the man responsible for ruining a last gasp at history. Thanks.

Blogger chris said...
BTW, Dan, is it me or is it the official mark of an aging contending team to lose to the Nyets?

Blogger Dan B. said...
The Jazz prevail. I no longer feel obligated to commit hara-kari. So that's a step in the right direction I guess.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Fuck you spurs. Fuck you to fucking hell. How are you that pathetic that you beat the Celtics one night, and then lose to the fucking NETS, the NETS! You are worthless! You are worse than the Pistons. At least we know the Pistons are pure crap, you (Spurs) parade around as a former elite team pretending like you can still beat the best, well guess what you're a first round exit waiting to happen. See ya in hell losers! Oh and on a positive note, the Lakers lost!

Anonymous AdriĆ  said...
I absolutely loved Jordan's face at the end of the Craptors-Bobcats game.

It's like "Grr... Hold me for not doing a comeback", and "Fuck me! EVEN THE NYETS WON!" added later.

Anonymous Mladen said...
What pisses me off the most about this Nets "win", is that I somehow feel, as crazy as it sounds, that the Spurs "threw them a bone". Seriously. They probably figured: "Hey, Memphis and Houston couldn't possibly catch up to us, and we're bound to get blown out of the playoffs by the Lakers...so why not let the Nets have this one?" Fuck you, Gregg Popovich...

Also, I guess Carmelo (the guy who was mentioned by a commenter, who's nick I can't remember, as something along the lines of "the purest/most potent scorer in the league") really has nothing to worry about. After all, 5th seed is OK, right?

Anonymous Anonymous said...
As I said with Boston, any team that loses to the Nyets is DONE as a contender. The Rodeo is over.

Blogger Barry said...
I do feel that this year's Nets team has given me some hope for the future of Bawful 'Ball. In this day and age, for someone to suck so badly that they put in some extra effort just to avoid history....it's a gift.

Though I knew Timmy would be the downfall of a would-be legacy. DAMN YOU!

Blogger Jason D said...
It's days like this the Lakers really piss me off. You would think that the top team in the conference would have no problem beating a Hornets team already eliminated from the playoffs right? No. Fucking Phil Jackson and his arrogant ass just loves spotting heavy minutes to Fisher and letting Chris Paul go off, as well as Darren Collison. God they need a PG.

Oh, and a special fuck you to the Spurs. The Nyets!? The goddamn New Jersey Fucking NYETS?!?! THE FUCK!?!?

Anonymous Anonymous said...
This says it all about the Nyets success.

The VC picture also makes me want to punch him. And hope he sprains his camel toe (which he frames all to horribly well).